Recurring in-jokes in Private Eye
Encyclopedia
The fortnightly British
satirical
magazine
Private Eye
has long had a reputation for using euphemistic
and irreverent substitute names and titles for persons, groups and organisations and has coined a number of expressions to describe sex, drugs, alcohol and other aspects of human activity. Over the years these names and expressions have become in-joke
s, used frequently in the magazine without explanation. Some have passed into general usage and can be found in other media and everyday conversation.
United Kingdom
The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern IrelandIn the United Kingdom and Dependencies, other languages have been officially recognised as legitimate autochthonous languages under the European Charter for Regional or Minority Languages...
satirical
Satire
Satire is primarily a literary genre or form, although in practice it can also be found in the graphic and performing arts. In satire, vices, follies, abuses, and shortcomings are held up to ridicule, ideally with the intent of shaming individuals, and society itself, into improvement...
magazine
Magazine
Magazines, periodicals, glossies or serials are publications, generally published on a regular schedule, containing a variety of articles. They are generally financed by advertising, by a purchase price, by pre-paid magazine subscriptions, or all three...
Private Eye
Private Eye
Private Eye is a fortnightly British satirical and current affairs magazine, edited by Ian Hislop.Since its first publication in 1961, Private Eye has been a prominent critic and lampooner of public figures and entities that it deemed guilty of any of the sins of incompetence, inefficiency,...
has long had a reputation for using euphemistic
Euphemism
A euphemism is the substitution of a mild, inoffensive, relatively uncontroversial phrase for another more frank expression that might offend or otherwise suggest something unpleasant to the audience...
and irreverent substitute names and titles for persons, groups and organisations and has coined a number of expressions to describe sex, drugs, alcohol and other aspects of human activity. Over the years these names and expressions have become in-joke
In-joke
An in-joke, also known as an inside joke or in joke, is a joke whose humour is clear only to people who are in a particular social group, occupation, or other community of common understanding...
s, used frequently in the magazine without explanation. Some have passed into general usage and can be found in other media and everyday conversation.
Euphemistic expressions
- "Ugandan discussions", or a variation thereof, is often used as a euphemism for sex, usually while carrying out a supposedly official duty. The term originally referred to an incident at a party hosted by journalist Neal AschersonNeal AschersonCharles Neal Ascherson is a Scottish journalist and writer.- Background :He was born in Edinburgh and educated at Eton and King's College, Cambridge, where he read history. He was described by the historian Eric Hobsbawm as "perhaps the most brilliant student I ever had...
and his first wife, at which fellow journalist Mary KennyMary KennyMary Kenny is an Irish author, broadcaster, playwright and journalist. She was a founder member of the Irish Women's Liberation Movement, though she has modified her radical past, but not rejected feminist principles....
had a "meaningful confrontation" with a former cabinet minister in the government of Milton OboteMilton OboteApolo Milton Obote , Prime Minister of Uganda from 1962 to 1966 and President of Uganda from 1966 to 1971, then again from 1980 to 1985. He was a Ugandan political leader who led Uganda towards independence from the British colonial administration in 1962.He was overthrown by Idi Amin in 1971, but...
, later claiming that they were "upstairs discussing Uganda". The poet James FentonJames FentonJames Martin Fenton is an English poet, journalist and literary critic. He is a former Oxford Professor of Poetry.-Life and career:...
apparently coined the term. The saying is often wrongly attributed to the antics of a female CabinetCabinet (government)A Cabinet is a body of high ranking government officials, typically representing the executive branch. It can also sometimes be referred to as the Council of Ministers, an Executive Council, or an Executive Committee.- Overview :...
minister in Idi Amin's government, who was caught having sex in a public lavatory at Heathrow AirportLondon Heathrow AirportLondon Heathrow Airport or Heathrow , in the London Borough of Hillingdon, is the busiest airport in the United Kingdom and the third busiest airport in the world in terms of total passenger traffic, handling more international passengers than any other airport around the globe...
. The euphemism has variations: for example, before his marriage a senior member of the Royal familyRoyal familyA royal family is the extended family of a king or queen regnant. The term imperial family appropriately describes the extended family of an emperor or empress, while the terms "ducal family", "grand ducal family" or "princely family" are more appropriate to describe the relatives of a reigning...
allegedly went on holiday with an aging ex-Page Three girl, whereupon Private Eye reported he had contracted a "Ugandan virus". In 1996, "Getting back to basics" was suggested as a replacement euphemism after the notoriously hypocritical policy of the same nameBack to Basics (campaign)Back to Basics was an ill-fated attempt to relaunch the government of British Prime Minister John Major in 1993; a year after winning the general election the party's reputation was declining, not least due to the Black Wednesday economic debacle of September 1992...
adopted by John MajorJohn MajorSir John Major, is a British Conservative politician, who served as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and Leader of the Conservative Party from 1990–1997...
's government. - "Exotic cherootCherootThe cheroot or stogie is a cylindrical cigar with both ends clipped during manufacture. Since cheroots do not taper, they are inexpensive to roll mechanically, and their low cost makes them particularly popular. Typically, stogies have a length of 3.5 to 6.5 inches, and a ring gauge of 34 to...
" is used as a euphemism for a cigarette containing cannabisCannabisCannabis is a genus of flowering plants that includes three putative species, Cannabis sativa, Cannabis indica, and Cannabis ruderalis. These three taxa are indigenous to Central Asia, and South Asia. Cannabis has long been used for fibre , for seed and seed oils, for medicinal purposes, and as a...
. - "Tired and emotionalTired and emotionalThe phrase tired and emotional is a chiefly British euphemism for drunk. It was popularised by the British satirical magazine Private Eye in 1967 after being used in a spoof diplomatic memo to describe the state of Labour Cabinet minister George Brown, but is now used as a stock phrase...
" was a phrase used to describe 1960s LabourLabour Party (UK)The Labour Party is a centre-left democratic socialist party in the United Kingdom. It surpassed the Liberal Party in general elections during the early 1920s, forming minority governments under Ramsay MacDonald in 1924 and 1929-1931. The party was in a wartime coalition from 1940 to 1945, after...
party cabinet minister and Deputy Leader George BrownGeorge Brown, Baron George-BrownGeorge Alfred Brown, Baron George-Brown, PC was a British Labour politician, who served as the Deputy Leader of the Labour Party from 1960 to 1970, and served in a number of positions in the Cabinet, most notably as Foreign Secretary, in the Labour Government of the 1960s...
, who had a drink problemAlcoholismAlcoholism is a broad term for problems with alcohol, and is generally used to mean compulsive and uncontrolled consumption of alcoholic beverages, usually to the detriment of the drinker's health, personal relationships, and social standing...
. It first appeared in Private Eye in a parody memo supposedly informing civil servants how to describe Brown's conduct and state of mind. Due to the near-impossibility of proving intoxication without forensic evidence, journalists came to use the phrase as a way of describing drunkenness without inviting libel charges. In 1957 a trio of Labour politicians, Aneurin BevanAneurin BevanAneurin "Nye" Bevan was a British Labour Party politician who was the Deputy Leader of the Labour Party from 1959 until his death in 1960. The son of a coal miner, Bevan was a lifelong champion of social justice and the rights of working people...
, Morgan PhillipsMorgan PhillipsMorgan Walter Phillips was a colliery worker and trade union activist who became the General Secretary of the British Labour Party, involved in two of the party's election victories....
and Richard CrossmanRichard CrossmanRichard Howard Stafford Crossman OBE was a British author and Labour Party politician who was a Cabinet Minister under Harold Wilson, and was the editor of the New Statesman. A prominent socialist intellectual, he became one of the Labour Party's leading Zionists and anti-communists...
, successfully sued The SpectatorThe SpectatorThe Spectator is a weekly British magazine first published on 6 July 1828. It is currently owned by David and Frederick Barclay, who also owns The Daily Telegraph. Its principal subject areas are politics and culture...
over just such an allegation, which Crossman admitted in his diary was true of one of the three. The phrase was allegedly first used by a BBCBBCThe British Broadcasting Corporation is a British public service broadcaster. Its headquarters is at Broadcasting House in the City of Westminster, London. It is the largest broadcaster in the world, with about 23,000 staff...
press officer in November 1963, as a description of Brown's condition on a programme commemorating John F. KennedyJohn F. KennedyJohn Fitzgerald "Jack" Kennedy , often referred to by his initials JFK, was the 35th President of the United States, serving from 1961 until his assassination in 1963....
; the magazine subsequently borrowed the phrase. However, doubt must be cast on this claim because the programme on which Brown appeared was not broadcast by the BBC but by Associated-RediffusionAssociated-RediffusionAssociated-Rediffusion, later Rediffusion, London, was the British ITV contractor for London and parts of the surrounding counties, on weekdays between 1954 and 29 July 1968. Transmissions started on 22 September 1955.-Formation:...
. - Arkell v. Pressdram was one of the frequent allegations of libel against the magazine, notable for its correspondence. The plaintiff's lawyers wrote a letter which concluded: "His attitude to damages will be governed by the nature of your reply." The magazine's response was, in full: "We acknowledge your letter of 29th April referring to Mr J. Arkell. We note that Mr Arkell's attitude to damages will be governed by the nature of our reply and would therefore be grateful if you would inform us what his attitude to damages would be, were he to learn that the nature of our reply is as follows: fuck off." In the years following, the magazine would refer to this exchange as a euphemism for a blunt and coarse dismissal: for example, "We refer you to the reply given in the case of Arkell v. Pressdram".
- "Trebles all round!" is often quoted to have been said by one who has, purportedly, made money with no effort.
- (Takes out onion) is a mock stage direction inserted in articles when someone is allegedly faking sorrow, and is usually used to denote hypocrisy. The expression was used often on the satirical puppet show Spitting ImageSpitting ImageSpitting Image is a British satirical puppet show that aired on the ITV network from 1984 to 1996. It was produced by Spitting Image Productions for Central Television. The series was nominated for 10 BAFTA Awards, winning one for editing in 1989....
and in its depiction of Esther RantzenEsther RantzenEsther Louise Rantzen CBE is an English journalist and television presenter who is best known for presenting the BBC television series That's Life!, and for her work in various charitable causes. She is founder of the child protection charity ChildLine, and also advocates the work of the Burma...
, whose puppet was always seen holding an onion under its nose to induce tears. However, it occurs as early as 1915, in cartoons by W. Heath RobinsonW. Heath RobinsonWilliam Heath Robinson was an English cartoonist and illustrator, best known for drawings of eccentric machines....
.
Stereotypical and exaggerated personifications of people and organisations
- Sir Herbert Gussett is a fictional character who is forever sending "Dear Sir" letters to the Press, usually the Daily Telegraph or the Daily ExpressDaily ExpressThe Daily Express switched from broadsheet to tabloid in 1977 and was bought by the construction company Trafalgar House in the same year. Its publishing company, Beaverbrook Newspapers, was renamed Express Newspapers...
. He does not seem to know quite where he lives: in the early 1980s, for example, he lived in LymeswoldLymeswold cheeseLymeswold cheese was an English cheese variety. Many English cheeses are named after regions but Lymeswold was not, although it may have been derived from the place name Wymeswold. The cheese was a soft, mild blue cheese with an edible white rind, much like Brie, and was inspired by French cheeses....
, but he has been found in WiltshireWiltshireWiltshire is a ceremonial county in South West England. It is landlocked and borders the counties of Dorset, Somerset, Hampshire, Gloucestershire, Oxfordshire and Berkshire. It contains the unitary authority of Swindon and covers...
, DorsetDorsetDorset , is a county in South West England on the English Channel coast. The county town is Dorchester which is situated in the south. The Hampshire towns of Bournemouth and Christchurch joined the county with the reorganisation of local government in 1974...
and OxfordshireOxfordshireOxfordshire is a county in the South East region of England, bordering on Warwickshire and Northamptonshire , Buckinghamshire , Berkshire , Wiltshire and Gloucestershire ....
.
- Sir Bufton Tufton is the ToryConservative Party (UK)The Conservative Party, formally the Conservative and Unionist Party, is a centre-right political party in the United Kingdom that adheres to the philosophies of conservatism and British unionism. It is the largest political party in the UK, and is currently the largest single party in the House...
MPMember of ParliamentA Member of Parliament is a representative of the voters to a :parliament. In many countries with bicameral parliaments, the term applies specifically to members of the lower house, as upper houses often have a different title, such as senate, and thus also have different titles for its members,...
for somewhere-or-other, and in the ThatcherMargaret ThatcherMargaret Hilda Thatcher, Baroness Thatcher, was Prime Minister of the United Kingdom from 1979 to 1990...
government sat on the back benchesBackbencherIn Westminster parliamentary systems, a backbencher is a Member of Parliament or a legislator who does not hold governmental office and is not a Front Bench spokesperson in the Opposition...
. Sir Bufton's constituency was usually the fictitious safeSafe seatA safe seat is a seat in a legislative body which is regarded as fully secured, either by a certain political party, the incumbent representative personally or a combination of both...
rural seat of Lymeswold, though this was subject to topical change; his greediness, laziness, bigotry and incompetence remained constant. A file photo was frequently used, which turned out to be a real-life Conservative councillor and which eventually drew a complaint letter from the innocent victim. - Mike Giggler, an e-mail correspondent in newspaper letters pages, usually appearing at the bottom of the page having sent in a particularly unfunny pun.
- Lord Gnome is purported to be the proprietor of the magazine, and is an amalgam of various different media magnates. Originally modelled on figures including Lord BeaverbrookMax Aitken, 1st Baron BeaverbrookWilliam Maxwell "Max" Aitken, 1st Baron Beaverbrook, Bt, PC, was a Canadian-British business tycoon, politician, and writer.-Early career in Canada:...
and Lord Thomson of FleetRoy Thomson, 1st Baron Thomson of FleetRoy Herbert Thomson, 1st Baron Thomson of Fleet GBE was a Canadian newspaper proprietor and media entrepreneur.-Career:...
, first appearing under the name "Aristides P. Gnome" in the early 1960s, Lord Gnome has since accumulated other characteristics to encompass the likes of Rupert MurdochRupert MurdochKeith Rupert Murdoch, AC, KSG is an Australian-American business magnate. He is the founder and Chairman and CEO of , the world's second-largest media conglomerate....
. He is portrayed in the magazine as a man of great wealth, greed, unscrupulousness and vulgarity. Lord Gnome rarely writes under his own name, but issues his proclamations, editorials and threats through a fictional underling named Emmanuel Strobes, with reference frequently made to his Lordship's "assistant", Miss Rita Chevrolet. Lord Gnome, as well as being a media magnate, is regularly referred to as having other business interests, frequently mentioned in his opening letter in each issue. Special offers from "Gnomemart" frequently appear in the magazine, which also carries an occasional column called "The Curse of Gnome", chronicling the subsequent misfortunes of those who have in the past taken legal action against the publication. In 1993, during the only televised ceremony for Private Eye's Bore of the Year Awards ("the Boftys"), Lord Gnome (played by Peter CookPeter CookPeter Edward Cook was an English satirist, writer and comedian. An extremely influential figure in modern British comedy, he is regarded as the leading light of the British satire boom of the 1960s. He has been described by Stephen Fry as "the funniest man who ever drew breath," although Cook's...
) made a brief appearance on a satellite hook-up from his yacht, appearing to fall overboard during the broadcast, in a parody of Robert MaxwellRobert MaxwellIan Robert Maxwell MC was a Czechoslovakian-born British media proprietor and former Member of Parliament , who rose from poverty to build an extensive publishing empire...
's death. The word "Gnome" may refer to the Gnomes of ZurichGnomes of ZürichGnomes of Zürich is a disparaging term for Swiss bankers.Swiss bankers are popularly associated with extremely secretive policies, while gnomes in fairy tales live underground, in secret, counting their riches...
. Occasionally Lord Gnome is an oblique reference to editor Ian Hislop. In the sporting world, Lord Gnome CC is a nomadic cricket side, founded in 1963, that is named after the fictitious proprietor. - Inspector Knacker is your trusty policeman, who also may be "Inspector Knacker of the Yard", that is to say, not very trusty. This is a reference to the knackerKnackerA knacker is a person in the trade of rendering animals that are unfit for human consumption, such as horses that can no longer work. This leads to the slang expression "knackered" meaning very tired, or "ready for the knacker’s yard", where old horses are slaughtered and made into dog food and glue...
s' yards where old horses are sent to be put down and disposed of, and to the well-known Jack Slipper of the YardJack SlipperJack Kenneth Slipper was a Detective Chief Superintendent in the Metropolitan Police in London. He was known as "Slipper of the Yard"...
.
- Mr Justice Cocklecarrot usually presides over court cases. BeachcomberJ. B. MortonJohn Cameron Andrieu Bingham Michael Morton, better known by his preferred abbreviation J. B. Morton was an English humorous writer noted for authoring a column called By the Way under the pen name Beachcomber in the Daily Express from 1924 to 1975.G. K...
wrote for over fifty years a humorous column in the Daily ExpressDaily ExpressThe Daily Express switched from broadsheet to tabloid in 1977 and was bought by the construction company Trafalgar House in the same year. Its publishing company, Beaverbrook Newspapers, was renamed Express Newspapers...
, and Cocklecarrot J. was a regular feature.
- Sue, Grabbitt and Runne is a fictitious firm of solicitorSolicitorSolicitors are lawyers who traditionally deal with any legal matter including conducting proceedings in courts. In the United Kingdom, a few Australian states and the Republic of Ireland, the legal profession is split between solicitors and barristers , and a lawyer will usually only hold one title...
s retained to engage in lawsuits both real and fictional. These are often frivolous, pointless, cynical or without foundation (see Arkell v Pressdram - above) but not always. Danny La RueDanny La RueDanny La Rue, OBE was an Irish-born British entertainer known for his singing and drag impersonations.-Early life:...
, a well-known female impersonatorDrag queenA drag queen is a man who dresses, and usually acts, like a caricature woman often for the purpose of entertaining. There are many kinds of drag artists and they vary greatly, from professionals who have starred in films to people who just try it once. Drag queens also vary by class and culture and...
, appeared on the front cover in a photograph taken at the Royal Variety PerformanceRoyal Variety PerformanceThe Royal Variety Performance is a gala evening held annually in the United Kingdom, which is attended by senior members of the British Royal Family, usually the reigning monarch. In more recent years Queen Elizabeth II and The Prince of Wales have alternately attended the performance...
of him with LiberaceLiberaceWladziu Valentino Liberace , best known simply as Liberace, was a famous American pianist and vocalist.In a career that spanned four decades of concerts, recordings, motion pictures, television and endorsements, Liberace became world-renowned...
, who was ballooned as saying "I think your English queens are wonderful". La Rue supposedly responded by threatening to "go to the family solicitors, Rue, Grabbit and Son" (he was aggrieved at the implication that he was homosexual). In more serious cases, Private Eye often cites "Carter-Fuck", a derogatory reference to the law firm Carter Ruck, whose founder Peter Carter-RuckPeter Carter-RuckPeter Frederick Carter-Ruck was an English lawyer, specialising in libel cases. The firm he founded, Carter-Ruck, is still practising.-Personal life:...
had the reputation of taking on defamation cases at great expense to clients and claiming particularly high damagesDamagesIn law, damages is an award, typically of money, to be paid to a person as compensation for loss or injury; grammatically, it is a singular noun, not plural.- Compensatory damages :...
, regardless of the gravity of the case. - St Cake's School is an imaginary public school, run by Mr R.J. Kipling (BA, Leicester). The headmaster's name is part of the joke regarding the name "St Cake's", in reference to Mr KiplingMr KiplingMr Kipling is a brand of cakes, pies and baked goods widely marketed in the United Kingdom and Ireland. It was introducedin 1967, at a time when cakes were more often bought from local bakers to sell cakes of a local baker's standard to supermarkets....
cakes. Articles featuring the school parody the "Court and Social" columns of The TimesThe TimesThe Times is a British daily national newspaper, first published in London in 1785 under the title The Daily Universal Register . The Times and its sister paper The Sunday Times are published by Times Newspapers Limited, a subsidiary since 1981 of News International...
and The Daily TelegraphThe Daily TelegraphThe Daily Telegraph is a daily morning broadsheet newspaper distributed throughout the United Kingdom and internationally. The newspaper was founded by Arthur B...
, and the traditions and customs of the public school system. The school's motto is Quis paget entrat (Who pays gets in), though variations on this arise from time to time, such as when the school decided to only admit the daughters of very rich Asian businessmen, and the motto became All praise to the prophet, and death to the infidel. While the school's newsletters feature extraordinary and unlikely results and prizes, events such as speech days, founder's days, term dates and feast days are announced with topical themes, such as underage drinking, drug abuse, obesity, celebrity culture, antisocial behaviour and cheating in exams. The school is sometimes referred to as "the EtonEton CollegeEton College, often referred to simply as Eton, is a British independent school for boys aged 13 to 18. It was founded in 1440 by King Henry VI as "The King's College of Our Lady of Eton besides Wyndsor"....
of the West MidlandsWest Midlands (county)The West Midlands is a metropolitan county in western central England with a 2009 estimated population of 2,638,700. It came into existence as a metropolitan county in 1974 after the passage of the Local Government Act 1972, formed from parts of Staffordshire, Worcestershire and Warwickshire. The...
", in reference to that area's relative lack of such schools. - NeasdenNeasdenNeasden is an area in northwest London, UK. It forms part of the London Borough of Brent.-History:The area was recorded as Neasdun in 939 AD and the name is derived from the Old English nēos = 'nose' and dūn = 'hill'. It means 'the nose-shaped hill' referring to a well-defined landmark of this area...
is a Greater LondonGreater LondonGreater London is the top-level administrative division of England covering London. It was created in 1965 and spans the City of London, including Middle Temple and Inner Temple, and the 32 London boroughs. This territory is coterminate with the London Government Office Region and the London...
suburb which is the location of various parody institutions, and is often given as the origin of fictional letters. In 1971, Richard IngramsRichard IngramsRichard Ingrams is an English journalist, a co-founder and second editor of the British satirical magazine Private Eye, and now editor of The Oldie magazine.-Career:...
said simply that Neasden was used "to denote the contemporary urban environment". Stories from the world of football are satirised in "reports" by E.I. Addio (a reference to the football chantFootball chantA football chant or terrace chant, is a song or chant sung at association football matches. They can be historic, dating back to the formation of the club, adaptations of popular songs, or spontaneous reactions to events on the pitch. They are one of the last remaining sources of an oral folk song...
Ee Aye AddioEe Aye AddioA traditional British celebratory football crowd song.The usual format is::"We've won the cup, we've won the cup, ee aye addio, we've won the cup".Variations are often made up on the spur of the moment....
) about the mythical and notoriously underperforming club Neasden F.C.Neasden F.C.Neasden F.C. is a fictional, spoof football team, the subject of a long-running joke in the British satirical magazine, Private Eye. It was invented by writer Barry Fantoni to satirize the clichés and hyperbole of football journalism and first appeared in the mid 1960s...
, with quotes from its manager "tight-lipped, ashen-faced supremo Ron Knee (59)" and "the fans" (implying that there were only two) Sid and Doris Bonkers. Sid and Doris Hill are occasionally given as the fans' names, a pun on the suburb of Dollis HillDollis HillDollis Hill is an area of north-west London. It lies close to Willesden, in the London Borough of Brent. As a result, Dollis Hill is sometimes referred as being part of Willesden, especially by the national press...
, which is near Neasden. The club's recent misfortunes lampooned the recent tribulations of major clubs in the national news. Often, underneath a spoof sports story, the sub-column "late result" would appear, reporting on a match recently played by Neasden. This normally involved a humorously unlikely team, often one related to current affairs, such as Taleban FC. Neasden nearly always lose by a huge margin, often owing to own goals scored by veteran player "Baldy" Pevsner, who often score a consolation "one boot", and in spite of the efforts of their goalkeeper, "One-legged net-minder Wally Foot". Neasden is also the setting for the regular column Neasden Police Log, a fictional log-entry style police report that almost invariably depicts the police as racist, incompetent, and obsessed with observing politically-correct rules at the expense of maintaining law and order. - Spiggy Topes is, with or without his group The Turds, the archetypal rock star, often used when the magazine wishes to satirise the antics of the more pretentious members of the rock establishment. His persona appears to owe a good deal to John LennonJohn LennonJohn Winston Lennon, MBE was an English musician and singer-songwriter who rose to worldwide fame as one of the founding members of The Beatles, one of the most commercially successful and critically acclaimed acts in the history of popular music...
and Mick JaggerMick JaggerSir Michael Philip "Mick" Jagger is an English musician, singer and songwriter, best known as the lead vocalist and a founding member of The Rolling Stones....
, although Paul McCartneyPaul McCartneySir James Paul McCartney, MBE, Hon RAM, FRCM is an English musician, singer-songwriter and composer. Formerly of The Beatles and Wings , McCartney is listed in Guinness World Records as the "most successful musician and composer in popular music history", with 60 gold discs and sales of 100...
's fashion designer daughter StellaStella McCartneyStella Nina McCartney is an English fashion designer. She is the daughter of former Beatles member Sir Paul McCartney and the late photographer and animal rights activist, Linda McCartney.-Early life:...
was once referred to as Stella Topes. - Dave Spart was a parody of the stereotypical left-wing agitator who featured in editions of the 1970s and from time to time since (for example, after the street riots in England in 20112011 England riotsBetween 6 and 10 August 2011, several London boroughs and districts of cities and towns across England suffered widespread rioting, looting and arson....
). Occasionally, his sister, Deidre Spart, has offered her views.
Names intentionally misspelled or misstated
- Piers MorganPiers MorganPiers Stefan Pughe-Morgan , known professionally as Piers Morgan, is a British journalist and television presenter. He is editorial director of First News, a national newspaper for children....
is referred to as Piers Moron, sometimes Piers "Morgan" Moron - Prime Minister Harold WilsonHarold WilsonJames Harold Wilson, Baron Wilson of Rievaulx, KG, OBE, FRS, FSS, PC was a British Labour Member of Parliament, Leader of the Labour Party. He was twice Prime Minister of the United Kingdom during the 1960s and 1970s, winning four general elections, including a minority government after the...
was always named as "Wislon" - The late Sir James GoldsmithJames GoldsmithSir James Michael "Jimmy" Goldsmith was an Anglo-French billionaire financier and tycoon. Towards the end of his life, he became a magazine publisher and a politician. In 1994, he was elected to represent France as a Member of the European Parliament and he subsequently founded the short-lived...
, a frequent and vindictive litigant, was usually "Sir Jams Fishpaste" and other similar names, such as "St. Jammy Fishfingers". The magazine considers some aspect of his activities to be objectionable.
- Capita, a long-term favourite target of Private Eye, is frequently called "Crapita" and "the world's worst outsourcing firm".
- The Department for Environment, Food and Rural AffairsDepartment for Environment, Food and Rural AffairsThe Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs is the government department responsible for environmental protection, food production and standards, agriculture, fisheries and rural communities in the United Kingdom...
is usually called the "Department for the Elimination/Eradication of Farming and Rural Affairs"; its acronym DEFRA is usually spelt DEFRO (Death Row), and its former long-term minister Margaret BeckettMargaret BeckettMargaret Mary Beckett is a British Labour Party politician who has been the Member of Parliament for Derby South since 1983, rising to become the Deputy Leader of the Labour Party under John Smith, from 18 July 1992 to 12 May 1994, and briefly serving as Leader of the Party following Smith's death...
is still called Rosa KlebbRosa KlebbColonel Rosa Klebb is a fictional character and the main antagonist from the James Bond film and novel From Russia with Love. She was played by Lotte Lenya in the film version...
after the character in the James BondJames BondJames Bond, code name 007, is a fictional character created in 1953 by writer Ian Fleming, who featured him in twelve novels and two short story collections. There have been a six other authors who wrote authorised Bond novels or novelizations after Fleming's death in 1964: Kingsley Amis,...
film From Russia With LoveFrom Russia with Love (film)From Russia with Love is the second in the James Bond spy film series, and the second to star Sean Connery as the fictional MI6 agent James Bond. Released in 1963, the film was produced by Albert R. Broccoli and Harry Saltzman, and directed by Terence Young. It is based on the 1957 novel of the...
. Its forerunner, the Ministry of Agriculture, Fisheries and FoodMinistry of Agriculture, Fisheries and FoodThe Ministry of Agriculture, Fisheries and Food was a United Kingdom government department created by the Board of Agriculture Act 1889 and at that time called the Board of Agriculture, and then from 1903 the Board of Agriculture and Fisheries, and from 1919 the Ministry of Agriculture and Fisheries...
(MAFF), was referred to as the "Mafia". - First Group is usually known as "Worst Group".
- The GuardianThe GuardianThe Guardian, formerly known as The Manchester Guardian , is a British national daily newspaper in the Berliner format...
newspaper is generally referred to as "the grauniad", in reference to the paper's reputation for typographical errors and mistakes and its lower-case mastheadMasthead (publishing)The masthead is a list, published in a newspaper or magazine, of its staff. In some publications it names only the most senior individuals; in others, it may name many or all...
logo. - The Daily Express newspaper has been lampooned as the Daily Getsworse.
- The Serious Fraud OfficeSerious Fraud OfficeThe Serious Fraud Office may refer to:*Serious Fraud Office *Serious Fraud Office...
is often the Serious Farce Office. - The Department of Trade and Industry was often the "Department of Timidity and Inaction".
- The Department for TransportDepartment for TransportIn the United Kingdom, the Department for Transport is the government department responsible for the English transport network and a limited number of transport matters in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland which are not devolved...
(DfT) is usually referred as "DafT". - The Financial Services AuthorityFinancial Services AuthorityThe Financial Services Authority is a quasi-judicial body responsible for the regulation of the financial services industry in the United Kingdom. Its board is appointed by the Treasury and the organisation is structured as a company limited by guarantee and owned by the UK government. Its main...
is invariably referred to as "The Fundamentally Supine Authority" in reference to its reluctance to act and its seemingly close relationship with the industry it is supposed to regulate, often contrasting its performance with the swift and draconian methods of its United StatesUnited StatesThe United States of America is a federal constitutional republic comprising fifty states and a federal district...
counterparts. - The Carter-RuckCarter-RuckCarter-Ruck is a British law firm founded by Peter Carter-Ruck.According to their website they specialise in libel, privacy, international law and commercial litigation....
law firm, a specialist in libel cases, is almost always referred to as Carter-Fuck (and once, in response to a complaint from the firm, as Farter-Fuck) - The city of Brighton and Hove is often referred to as "Skidrow-on-Sea" in the "Rotten Boroughs" column.
- The Daily Telegraph newspaper is usually referred to as the "Torygraph" because of its political leaning towards the Conservative PartyConservative Party (UK)The Conservative Party, formally the Conservative and Unionist Party, is a centre-right political party in the United Kingdom that adheres to the philosophies of conservatism and British unionism. It is the largest political party in the UK, and is currently the largest single party in the House...
. - From 1964 until his death, Sir Alec Douglas-Home was referred to as Baillie Vass, after his photograph was mistakenly captioned as such in the Aberdeen Evening ExpressEvening Express (Scotland)The Evening Express is a daily local newspaper serving the city of Aberdeen in Scotland. It was first published in November 1879.It was a tabloid during the 1930s to the 1950s until it resumed a broadsheet in November 1958, six days a week. By September 1989, The Saturday edition returned to a...
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Jibes aimed at specific individuals
- At one point the magazine printed many letters from a reader named "Ena B Maxwell", of "Headington HallHeadington Hill HallHeadington Hill Hall stands on Headington Hill in the east of Oxford, England. It was built in 1824 for the Morrell family, local brewers, and was extended between 1856 and 1858, by James Morrell junior who built an Italianate mansion, designed by architect John Thomas...
, OxfordshireOxfordshireOxfordshire is a county in the South East region of England, bordering on Warwickshire and Northamptonshire , Buckinghamshire , Berkshire , Wiltshire and Gloucestershire ....
", the real-life address of Robert MaxwellRobert MaxwellIan Robert Maxwell MC was a Czechoslovakian-born British media proprietor and former Member of Parliament , who rose from poverty to build an extensive publishing empire...
. The letters were written by the Private Eye editorial team, and the pseudonym was attached to suggest that he was writing to the magazine under an assumed identity. The letters were careful not to make any legally actionable claims, instead containing material that was impertinent or absurd in order to ridicule Maxwell. "Ena" still makes occasional appearances in the letters column with varying surnames. - Mary Ann Bighead, a parody of journalist Mary Ann SieghartMary Ann SieghartMary Ann Sieghart is a former assistant editor of The Times, where she wrote columns about politics, social affairs and life generally. She now writes a weekly political column in The Independent and presents Profile and Beyond Westminster on Radio 4...
, often writes columns trumpeting her own brilliance and that of her daughters Brainella and Intelligencia. - A regular feature of the Letters page is "Photo Opportunity", where correspondents concoct spurious reasons to put a photo of Andrew NeilAndrew NeilAndrew Ferguson Neil is a Scottish journalist and broadcaster.He currently works for the BBC, presenting the live political programmes The Daily Politics and This Week...
embracing a young South Asian woman. On the photograph's initial printing, it was learned that Neil found the photograph embarrassing, and the Eye printed it every issue since. Actually, the woman in the photo is American, whom Neil met while in the United StatesUnited StatesThe United States of America is a federal constitutional republic comprising fifty states and a federal district...
. Neil has described this as an example of "public school racism" on the part of the magazine's editorial staff, which he found "fascinating". - "(Shome mishtake, shurely? Ed)" is supposedly a blue pencilBlue pencil (editing)A blue pencil is a pencil traditionally used by an editor or sub-editor to show corrections to written copy. The colour is used specifically because it will not show in some lithographic or photographic reproduction processes; these are known as non-photo blue pencils...
by the editor, who is slurring a little after lunch. It may have allusions to the late Bill DeedesBill DeedesWilliam Francis Deedes, Baron Deedes, KBE, MC, PC, DL was a British Conservative Party politician, army officer and journalist; he is to date the only person in Britain to have been both a member of the Cabinet and the editor of a major daily newspaper, The Daily Telegraph.-Early life and...
(Lord Deedes), who did slur that way. Bill Deedes, The late Lord Deedes, was also the eponymous Dear Bill that the fictional Mr Thatcher was forever writing to while his wife was in government. These articles were actually written by John WellsJohn Wells (satirist)John Wells was an English actor, writer and satirist, educated at Eastbourne College and St Edmund Hall, Oxford...
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Spurious surrealism
Towards the end of each issue, the magazine contains increasingly surreal jokes, references and parodies. Many of these have developed over time, and are thus now very familiar to long-term readers.- The magazine itself is frequently referred to as an "organ", providing endless possibilities for sexual innuendo, but also in reference to the eye as an organ of the body.
- Grapefruit segments – once a pervasive and deliberately out-of-place component of lists (such as features on new cars), now seldom seen.
- Australian appears as a colour option on various spoof ads as in "Available in Blue, Black or Australian".
- The Sizzler – an alleged fried breakfast for sale at extortionate prices on any train journey mentioned. At the first mention of the Sizzler, the article in which it appeared would be sidelined into a recital of the item's deliciousness.
- The Grand Old Duke of YorkThe Grand Old Duke of York‘The Grand Old Duke of York’ is an English children's nursery rhyme, often performed as an action song. The Duke of the title has been argued to be a number of the holders of that office, particularly Prince Frederick, Duke of York and Albany and its lyrics have become proverbial for futile action...
, based on a children's nursery rhymeNursery rhymeThe term nursery rhyme is used for "traditional" poems for young children in Britain and many other countries, but usage only dates from the 19th century and in North America the older ‘Mother Goose Rhymes’ is still often used.-Lullabies:...
, is used to parody current military news, such as cutbacks or scandals. For example, reports may appear that the Duke's 10,000 men are being reduced to 100 and will not be marching up any hills because they have no boots. - Bulleted lists are usually shorter than stated and include two final entries of "Er..." and "That's it".
- The number 94 is used as a generic large number, to indicate that something is lengthy and boring. This originated with some articles ending mid-sentence with "(continued page 94)" - a page which does not exist, as Private Eye is much shorter than that. This has since been extended to anything else involving a number, e.g. "the awards ceremony, in its 94th year", or spoof transcripts of radio broadcasts which end with "(continued 94 MHz)".
- Phil Space is a fictional journalist. He 'writes' articles mainly to fill space on the page, hence his name (and similarly Phil Pages, Phil Airtime (a radio news correspondent) and Philippa Column). The articles are rarely informative or useful and are often completely irrelevant. A supposed continental counterpart, Monsieur Phil Espace, is sometimes mentioned when the story has an international background.
- The regular Private Eye columnist Polly Filler is Phil's female counterpart. The name refers to Polyfilla, a brand name of spackling pasteSpackling pasteSpackling paste is typically used to fill holes, small cracks and other minor surface defects in wood, drywall, and plaster. Three versions of spackling paste are currently on today's market: 1. regular paste ; 2. lightweight; 3...
used to fill in cracks and spaces. - Trouser pressTrouser pressA trouser press, sometimes referred to as a Corby Trouser Press, is an electrical appliance used to smooth the wrinkles from a pair of trousers...
es are another item commonly placed on lists or used in adverts, as an example of pointless extravagance or silly tat. - Mr Madeupname. Sometimes used when referring to an improbable interviewee in a (often) tabloid newspaper article.