Top Gear: Vietnam Special
Encyclopedia
Top Gear: Vietnam Special is a special 75-minute episode of the motoring series Top Gear, which was broadcast on 28 December 2008 at 8:00 pm on BBC Two
. An edited 46 minute edition of the show was broadcast on the UK TV channel Dave in the 8.00pm - 9.00pm slot on Monday 19 January 2009. The edition was tightly edited to ensure the 75-minute special could fit into the one hour slot with commercial breaks on Dave. However recent repeats of the special on Dave are now in a 90-minute format showing the whole version due to complaints from viewers who thought the 46 minute edited version was unsatisfactory. A "Director's Cut
" was released on Region 2 DVD in March 2009 as part of the Top Gear: The Great Adventures 2 set.
The challenge, to travel 1000 miles (1609 kilometres) from Hồ Chí Minh City
(Saigon), in the south of Vietnam
to Hạ Long
city, near Hanoi
(Hà Nội) in the north in eight days, was undertaken by regular presenters Jeremy Clarkson
, Richard Hammond
and James May
. The destination for this challenge was a floating dock in Ha Long Bay. The primary vehicles of this special were motorbikes
.
Unlike normal episodes of Top Gear, in which the challenges were related to the abilities of the vehicles reviewed, such as the Toyota Hilux
in the Top Gear Polar Special
, producer Andy Wilman
admitted that "the narrative of the film is a bit more skewed towards the three guys."
cost 560,000,000₫ (£
22,000), while their 15,000,000₫ only equated to around £600 or US$1000. As a last resort, all three, much to Clarkson's initial dismay, decided to buy motorbikes. Hammond bought a Belarusian-built 125cc two-stroke Minsk
, May a 50cc four-stroke Honda Cub and the unenthusiastic Clarkson purchased a green Piaggio
Vespa
. (According to the DVD commentary, Clarkson's Vespa was equipped with several rear-view mirrors in order to conceal a handlebar-mounted camera.)
Though Clarkson had previously ridden two-wheeled transport without assistance during visits to Cuba and Vietnam for his series Jeremy Clarkson's Motorworld
, broadcast on 12 January 1995, he required the help of a nearby Australian tourist to start the scooter and showed difficulty in driving it at first.
Hammond was the only one whose head was small enough to fit inside a locally-bought helmet, while May resorted to using a colander
for head protection. Clarkson used a metal bucket at first, replacing it with a proper helmet after several hours of "learning" to ride the Vespa.
The first leg of the journey was from Saigon to the mountain town of Đà Lạt, where they spent the night drinking Vietnamese beer (Bia Saigon Export), eating local cuisine made from snake meat (which Hammond refused), and taking shots of vodka
mixed with snake's blood and bile, much to Hammond's disgust.
The next morning, Hammond was shown his flattened motorcycle helmet, which had been crushed by May and Clarkson as a result of the previous evening's drinking and replaced with a new pink one. May joked, "Don't take this the wrong way. Different colours assume different significance in different cultures. To us, that is a feminine colour but to them it's the colour of warriors." Shortly after, they set off for the city of Nha Trang
. Along the way, the trio encountered torrential monsoonal rain and other calamities, such as May running out of fuel and Hammond's clutch cable snapping.
Constant breakdowns caused a problem for the pair of two-stroke machines and due to Hammond's clutch cable and an earlier breakdown of Clarkson's Vespa, the producers decided to stop footing the bill for their mounting repairs and instead punish the presenters if they broke down, by making them complete the voyage in an unappealing vehicle (a function served by the Volkswagen Beetle
in the Botswana Special
in series 10
): a Honda Chaly
mini-bike, painted and flanked in a Stars and Stripes
livery (similar to the bike seen in the film Easy Rider
) and fitted with an iPod
audio system continuously playing Bruce Springsteen
's "Born in the U.S.A.
" (both the iTunes
and NetFlix
versions of the episode had "The Star-Spangled Banner
" blaring, instead, despite the references to Springsteen remaining in the film, on request from Springsteen's management team). The presenters contended that riding the bike would be inappropriate because memories of the Vietnam War
were still rife among the local populace. (Even more so, considering "Born in the U.S.A." is a Vietnam War protest song).
In Nha Trang, Clarkson presented Hammond with a scale model of a Spanish galleon, which Hammond now had to transport on the back of his Minsk. The next leg of the trip passed through Tuy Hòa
, Qui Nhơn
, Quảng Ngãi, and Tam Kỳ, and ended in Hội An
(described by Clarkson as "Vietnam's Saville Row"). During this stay they purchased bespoke
new clothes, and Clarkson enjoyed a short break from his various problems in a hotel. Hammond and May spent the day driving their bikes on the beach. Whilst on the beach, Hammond received a very moving talk from a local who had fought in the Vietnam War. The deaf-mute veteran explained to Richard how he had fought on the beach, explaining his thoughts by writing on the sand in English. It concluded with him writing the word "B52
," indicating that the beach had been bombed, and then the word "Deaf." Hammond left him by saying "This beach, yours. I'll go".
That night, Hammond spent his time repairing his bike after it had been partially submerged in sea water while Clarkson teased him by reciting the lyrics of "Born in the U.S.A."
In the morning, they continued their journey to Huế
through the Hải Vân Mountain Pass
, which Clarkson praised as "...a deserted ribbon of perfection — one of the best coast roads in the world," before complaining that "someone has written PENIS on my helmet" to which Hammond replied "I did that." Beforehand, Hammond and Clarkson stopped at a marble sculptor to procure a gift for May: a small but heavy statue of a ballet dancer, later called "Darcey
". Mid-way through the pass, Hammond and May presented Clarkson with a bulky painting. Hammmond damaged his model galleon twice during the journey: firstly by clipping one side of the ship against some roadside wheelie-bins (causing his mast to collapse) and later by clipping and knocking over a sign placed at a toll-booth.
In Huế, Clarkson and May convinced several staff at a local restaurant to vandalise Hammond's Minsk by spray-painting it bright pink, while Hammond repaired his model ship (which was damaged during the journey) in the hotel's business centre. However he damaged it again almost immediately; standing up with the model, the mast got caught in the ceiling fan, breaking it once again.
The next day, they entered North Vietnam
through Đông Hà, where they spent the morning completing the challenge of securing driver's licences. This entailed sitting through a theory lesson in a classroom. All three presenters were asked to stand up and answer a question. May made hand gestures, Hammond then made an arbitrary comment about turning vehicles giving way (in English), while Clarkson made a statement in Vietnamese that was deemed correct. He then explained to the other presenters that the teacher asked him "what is the minimum required age to obtain a motorcycle license", which he correctly answered with "18", and that "If they hadn't learned Vietnamese when they knew they were coming to Vietnam, that was their problem". They then proceeded to a practical riding test, attempting to navigate a course marked out by paint on the ground. Hammond and May passed, while Clarkson repeatedly failed, unable to stay within the painted guidelines. They concluded the challenge by reasoning that, as Clarkson had passed the theory and the other two had passed the practical, Top Gear had collectively passed the test. At the end of the challenge Clarkson damaged May's 'gift' by forgetting to lower the stand on May's bike and dropping it (a running gag throughout the show).
After visiting the bullet-torn Citadel of Huế (one of the major battlefields during the Tet Offensive of 1968), Clarkson reasoned that the trio could not make it to their final destination in the allotted time. They therefore decided to "cheat" by boarding an overnight train to Hạ Long
, a 13-hour journey which bypassed Vinh
, Thanh Hóa
and Nam Định. To kill time in the train each presenter tried to "fix" the damage accumulated by the other's gift: Hammond tried to refurbish Clarkson's ripped painting by adding a Land Rover
; Clarkson tried to super-glue May's shattered sculpture back together; and May transformed Hammond's galleon into a Chinese junk
. Upon disembarking, the trio discovered that they had boarded the wrong train and had arrived in Hanoi
(Hà Nội), 79.49 mi (127.93 km) to the west of their intended destination.
During the final push to Hạ Long, Clarkson fell off his Vespa, breaking 2 ribs and badly scraping his right arm and elbow. He finally concluded of two-wheel motoring, "I've always said to my children that if they buy a bike, I will burn it, and if they replace it with another one, I shall burn that too. Now, however, if they buy a bike I will completely understand — and then I'll burn it."
By dusk, the exhausted trio had arrived at the wharf in Hạ Long, only to be given one final challenge: to navigate the maze of 1,969 limestone islets in Hạ Long Bay and get to Ba Hàng Bar, located in a cove somewhere in the waters, by converting their motorcycles into watercraft overnight. Upon setting off the next morning, May's craft nearly sank early on and was towed back to shore for repairs. Meanwhile, Hammond and Clarkson got lost and found themselves stuck in the mouth of a cave. Eventually, Clarkson reached their destination first, Hammond second (after his steering had failed), and May later joined them by swimming from where his "bike-ski" had disintegrated and started to sink for the second time. In the film's conclusion, Clarkson summed up their adventure and ended with "Vietnam: You don't know, man! You weren't there!"
and his Vietnam War epic Apocalypse Now
.
and other members of the crew. Additional footage which was deleted from the original episode include: visits by Clarkson to other car dealerships and Hammond to a John Deere
tractor dealership; a test of the bikes by The Stig's
Communist
cousin (a local stunt biker in red helmet and red racing suit); a race between James May with the Super Cub and a two-cow ploughing team; and a discussion of Vietnam's traffic fines between Clarkson and May.
BBC Two
BBC Two is the second television channel operated by the British Broadcasting Corporation in the United Kingdom. It covers a wide range of subject matter, but tending towards more 'highbrow' programmes than the more mainstream and popular BBC One. Like the BBC's other domestic TV and radio...
. An edited 46 minute edition of the show was broadcast on the UK TV channel Dave in the 8.00pm - 9.00pm slot on Monday 19 January 2009. The edition was tightly edited to ensure the 75-minute special could fit into the one hour slot with commercial breaks on Dave. However recent repeats of the special on Dave are now in a 90-minute format showing the whole version due to complaints from viewers who thought the 46 minute edited version was unsatisfactory. A "Director's Cut
Director's cut
A director's cut is a specially edited version of a film, and less often TV series, music video, commercials, comic book or video games, that is supposed to represent the director's own approved edit...
" was released on Region 2 DVD in March 2009 as part of the Top Gear: The Great Adventures 2 set.
The challenge, to travel 1000 miles (1609 kilometres) from Hồ Chí Minh City
Ho Chi Minh City
Ho Chi Minh City , formerly named Saigon is the largest city in Vietnam...
(Saigon), in the south of Vietnam
Vietnam
Vietnam – sometimes spelled Viet Nam , officially the Socialist Republic of Vietnam – is the easternmost country on the Indochina Peninsula in Southeast Asia. It is bordered by China to the north, Laos to the northwest, Cambodia to the southwest, and the South China Sea –...
to Hạ Long
Ha Long
Hạ Long also known as Hong Gai, Hon Gai and Hongay, is the capital city of Quang Ninh province, Vietnam. The city mainly lies on Bai Tu Long Bay, which is part of the Hạ Long Bay. It is located at about 160 km northeast of Hanoi...
city, near Hanoi
Hanoi
Hanoi , is the capital of Vietnam and the country's second largest city. Its population in 2009 was estimated at 2.6 million for urban districts, 6.5 million for the metropolitan jurisdiction. From 1010 until 1802, it was the most important political centre of Vietnam...
(Hà Nội) in the north in eight days, was undertaken by regular presenters Jeremy Clarkson
Jeremy Clarkson
Jeremy Charles Robert Clarkson is an English broadcaster, journalist and writer who specialises in motoring. He is best known for his role on the BBC TV show Top Gear along with co-presenters Richard Hammond and James May...
, Richard Hammond
Richard Hammond
Richard Mark Hammond is an English broadcaster, writer, and journalist most noted for co-hosting car programme Top Gear with Jeremy Clarkson and James May, as well as presenting Brainiac: Science Abuse on Sky 1.-Early life:...
and James May
James May
James Daniel May is an English television presenter, journalist and writer. He is best known for his role as co-presenter of the award-winning motoring programme Top Gear alongside Jeremy Clarkson and Richard Hammond....
. The destination for this challenge was a floating dock in Ha Long Bay. The primary vehicles of this special were motorbikes
Motorcycle
A motorcycle is a single-track, two-wheeled motor vehicle. Motorcycles vary considerably depending on the task for which they are designed, such as long distance travel, navigating congested urban traffic, cruising, sport and racing, or off-road conditions.Motorcycles are one of the most...
.
Unlike normal episodes of Top Gear, in which the challenges were related to the abilities of the vehicles reviewed, such as the Toyota Hilux
Toyota Hilux
The Toyota Hilux is a series of compact pickup trucks produced and marketed by the Toyota Motor Corporation. Most countries used the Hilux name for the entire life of the series but in North America, the Hilux name was retired in 1976 in favor of Truck, Pickup Truck, or Compact Truck...
in the Top Gear Polar Special
Top Gear: Polar Special
Top Gear: Polar Special was an episode of the popular series Top Gear, first broadcast on 25 July 2007 on BBC Two. It was an attempt by the BBC's Top Gear crew to be the first to drive a motor vehicle to the 1996 location of the Magnetic North Pole....
, producer Andy Wilman
Andy Wilman
Andrew "Andy" Wilman is a British television producer who is best known as the producer of the present Top Gear show. He has also presented segments of the original Top Gear...
admitted that "the narrative of the film is a bit more skewed towards the three guys."
Route
The journey began at the heart of Saigon, where the three presenters were each given shoeboxes full of 15 million Vietnamese đồng to buy vehicles. Though at first the presenters were ecstatic about the seemingly vast amount of money they were given by the producers this time, they soon discovered that it was not nearly enough to buy a car. James May discovered that a standard Fiat 500Fiat Nuova 500
The Fiat 500 or Fiat Nuova 500 is a city car built by Italian automaker Fiat since 2007. The car is currently produced in Tychy, Poland by Fiat Auto Poland S.A. and in Toluca, Mexico, by Chrysler Group LLC. The four-seater, three-door hatchback 500 is almost identical to the retro concept car...
cost 560,000,000₫ (£
Pound sterling
The pound sterling , commonly called the pound, is the official currency of the United Kingdom, its Crown Dependencies and the British Overseas Territories of South Georgia and the South Sandwich Islands, British Antarctic Territory and Tristan da Cunha. It is subdivided into 100 pence...
22,000), while their 15,000,000₫ only equated to around £600 or US$1000. As a last resort, all three, much to Clarkson's initial dismay, decided to buy motorbikes. Hammond bought a Belarusian-built 125cc two-stroke Minsk
Minsk (motorcycle)
Minsk Motorcycle, or also known as Motovelo Corp, is a company that produces motorcycles. Minsk produces bicycles under its AIST brand. Motovelo is located in Minsk, the capital of Belarus.- History :...
, May a 50cc four-stroke Honda Cub and the unenthusiastic Clarkson purchased a green Piaggio
Piaggio
Piaggio based in Pontedera, Italy encompasses seven brands of scooters, motorcycles and compact commercial vehicles. As the fourth largest producer of scooters and motorcycles in the world, Piaggio produces more than 600,000 vehicles annually, with five research and development centers, more than...
Vespa
Vespa
Vespa is an Italian brand of scooter manufactured by Piaggio. The name means wasp in Italian.The Vespa has evolved from a single model motor scooter manufactured in 1946 by Piaggio & Co. S.p.A...
. (According to the DVD commentary, Clarkson's Vespa was equipped with several rear-view mirrors in order to conceal a handlebar-mounted camera.)
Though Clarkson had previously ridden two-wheeled transport without assistance during visits to Cuba and Vietnam for his series Jeremy Clarkson's Motorworld
Jeremy Clarkson's Motorworld
Jeremy Clarkson's Motorworld was a BBC television series about the car and motoring cultures of various countries. The show was presented by Jeremy Clarkson and consisted of two series of six episodes each plus a special focusing on the UK...
, broadcast on 12 January 1995, he required the help of a nearby Australian tourist to start the scooter and showed difficulty in driving it at first.
Hammond was the only one whose head was small enough to fit inside a locally-bought helmet, while May resorted to using a colander
Colander
A colander is a bowl-shaped kitchen utensil with holes in it used for draining food such as pasta or rice.The perforated nature of the colander allows liquid to drain through while retaining the solids inside...
for head protection. Clarkson used a metal bucket at first, replacing it with a proper helmet after several hours of "learning" to ride the Vespa.
The first leg of the journey was from Saigon to the mountain town of Đà Lạt, where they spent the night drinking Vietnamese beer (Bia Saigon Export), eating local cuisine made from snake meat (which Hammond refused), and taking shots of vodka
Vodka
Vodka , is a distilled beverage. It is composed primarily of water and ethanol with traces of impurities and flavorings. Vodka is made by the distillation of fermented substances such as grains, potatoes, or sometimes fruits....
mixed with snake's blood and bile, much to Hammond's disgust.
The next morning, Hammond was shown his flattened motorcycle helmet, which had been crushed by May and Clarkson as a result of the previous evening's drinking and replaced with a new pink one. May joked, "Don't take this the wrong way. Different colours assume different significance in different cultures. To us, that is a feminine colour but to them it's the colour of warriors." Shortly after, they set off for the city of Nha Trang
Nha Trang
Nha Trang is a coastal city and capital of Khanh Hoa province, on the South Central Coast of Vietnam. It is bounded on the North by Ninh Hoà district, on the East by the South China Sea, on the South by Cam Ranh town and on the West by Diên Khánh district...
. Along the way, the trio encountered torrential monsoonal rain and other calamities, such as May running out of fuel and Hammond's clutch cable snapping.
Constant breakdowns caused a problem for the pair of two-stroke machines and due to Hammond's clutch cable and an earlier breakdown of Clarkson's Vespa, the producers decided to stop footing the bill for their mounting repairs and instead punish the presenters if they broke down, by making them complete the voyage in an unappealing vehicle (a function served by the Volkswagen Beetle
Volkswagen Beetle
The Volkswagen Type 1, widely known as the Volkswagen Beetle or Volkswagen Bug, is an economy car produced by the German auto maker Volkswagen from 1938 until 2003...
in the Botswana Special
Top Gear: Botswana Special
Top Gear: Botswana Special was an episode of the popular British television series Top Gear, first broadcast on 4 November 2007 on BBC Two, as part of series 10...
in series 10
Top Gear (series 10)
Top Gear returned for a tenth series, containing 10 episodes, broadcast between 7 October 2007 and 23 December 2007. It was claimed that between the filming of the ninth and tenth series, rival motoring magazine Fifth Gear broke into the Top Gear premises and burnt down the Cool Wall...
): a Honda Chaly
Honda ST series (minibike)
-References:* 1969 Infobox specifications from these Honda pages on 2008-02-26:******* 1971 Infobox specifications from these Honda pages on 2008-02-26:*** 1976 Infobox specifications from these Honda pages on 2008-02-26:**...
mini-bike, painted and flanked in a Stars and Stripes
Flag of the United States
The national flag of the United States of America consists of thirteen equal horizontal stripes of red alternating with white, with a blue rectangle in the canton bearing fifty small, white, five-pointed stars arranged in nine offset horizontal rows of six stars alternating with rows...
livery (similar to the bike seen in the film Easy Rider
Easy Rider
Easy Rider is a 1969 American road movie written by Peter Fonda, Dennis Hopper, and Terry Southern, produced by Fonda and directed by Hopper. It tells the story of two bikers who travel through the American Southwest and South with the aim of achieving freedom...
) and fitted with an iPod
IPod
iPod is a line of portable media players created and marketed by Apple Inc. The product line-up currently consists of the hard drive-based iPod Classic, the touchscreen iPod Touch, the compact iPod Nano, and the ultra-compact iPod Shuffle...
audio system continuously playing Bruce Springsteen
Bruce Springsteen
Bruce Frederick Joseph Springsteen , nicknamed "The Boss," is an American singer-songwriter who records and tours with the E Street Band...
's "Born in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A. (song)
"Born in the U.S.A." is a 1984 song written and performed by Bruce Springsteen. Taken from the album of the same name, it is one of his best-known singles. Rolling Stone ranked the song 275th on their list of "The 500 Greatest Songs of All Time". In 2001, the RIAA's Songs of the Century placed...
" (both the iTunes
ITunes
iTunes is a media player computer program, used for playing, downloading, and organizing digital music and video files on desktop computers. It can also manage contents on iPod, iPhone, iPod Touch and iPad....
and NetFlix
Netflix
Netflix, Inc., is an American provider of on-demand internet streaming media in the United States, Canada, and Latin America and flat rate DVD-by-mail in the United States. The company was established in 1997 and is headquartered in Los Gatos, California...
versions of the episode had "The Star-Spangled Banner
The Star-Spangled Banner
"The Star-Spangled Banner" is the national anthem of the United States of America. The lyrics come from "Defence of Fort McHenry", a poem written in 1814 by the 35-year-old lawyer and amateur poet, Francis Scott Key, after witnessing the bombardment of Fort McHenry by the British Royal Navy ships...
" blaring, instead, despite the references to Springsteen remaining in the film, on request from Springsteen's management team). The presenters contended that riding the bike would be inappropriate because memories of the Vietnam War
Vietnam War
The Vietnam War was a Cold War-era military conflict that occurred in Vietnam, Laos, and Cambodia from 1 November 1955 to the fall of Saigon on 30 April 1975. This war followed the First Indochina War and was fought between North Vietnam, supported by its communist allies, and the government of...
were still rife among the local populace. (Even more so, considering "Born in the U.S.A." is a Vietnam War protest song).
In Nha Trang, Clarkson presented Hammond with a scale model of a Spanish galleon, which Hammond now had to transport on the back of his Minsk. The next leg of the trip passed through Tuy Hòa
Tuy Hoa
Tuy Hòa is the capital city of Phu Yen province in south-central Vietnam. The city has the total area of 107 km2 and the population of 262 000 ....
, Qui Nhơn
Qui Nhon
Qui Nhơn , also Quy Nhơn, is a coastal city in Binh Dinh province in central Vietnam. It is composed of 16 wards and five communes with a total of 286 km². Quy Nhon is the capital of Bình Định province. As of 2009 its population was 280,900. Historically, the commercial activities of the city...
, Quảng Ngãi, and Tam Kỳ, and ended in Hội An
Hoi An
Hội An , or rarely Faifo, is a city of Vietnam, on the coast of the South China Sea in the South Central Coast of Vietnam. It is located in Quang Nam province and is home to approximately 120,000 inhabitants...
(described by Clarkson as "Vietnam's Saville Row"). During this stay they purchased bespoke
Bespoke
Bespoke is a term employed in a variety of applications to mean an item custom-made to the buyer's specification...
new clothes, and Clarkson enjoyed a short break from his various problems in a hotel. Hammond and May spent the day driving their bikes on the beach. Whilst on the beach, Hammond received a very moving talk from a local who had fought in the Vietnam War. The deaf-mute veteran explained to Richard how he had fought on the beach, explaining his thoughts by writing on the sand in English. It concluded with him writing the word "B52
B-52 Stratofortress
The Boeing B-52 Stratofortress is a long-range, subsonic, jet-powered strategic bomber operated by the United States Air Force since the 1950s. The B-52 was designed and built by Boeing, who have continued to provide maintainence and upgrades to the aircraft in service...
," indicating that the beach had been bombed, and then the word "Deaf." Hammond left him by saying "This beach, yours. I'll go".
That night, Hammond spent his time repairing his bike after it had been partially submerged in sea water while Clarkson teased him by reciting the lyrics of "Born in the U.S.A."
In the morning, they continued their journey to Huế
Hue
Hue is one of the main properties of a color, defined technically , as "the degree to which a stimulus can be describedas similar to or different from stimuli that are described as red, green, blue, and yellow,"...
through the Hải Vân Mountain Pass
Hai Van Pass
The Hải Vân Pass , is an approximately 2 mile long mountain pass on National Road 1A in Vietnam. It traverses a spur of the larger Annamite Range that juts into the South China Sea, on the border of Đà Nẵng and Thừa Thiên-Huế Province, near Bach Ma National Park. Its name refers to the mists that...
, which Clarkson praised as "...a deserted ribbon of perfection — one of the best coast roads in the world," before complaining that "someone has written PENIS on my helmet" to which Hammond replied "I did that." Beforehand, Hammond and Clarkson stopped at a marble sculptor to procure a gift for May: a small but heavy statue of a ballet dancer, later called "Darcey
Darcey Bussell
Darcey Andrea Bussell CBE is a retired English ballerina. Trained at the Arts Educational School and the Royal Ballet School, she was later employed by the Royal Ballet, where she was promoted to the rank of Principal Dancer and would become recognised as one of the greatest English ballerinas of...
". Mid-way through the pass, Hammond and May presented Clarkson with a bulky painting. Hammmond damaged his model galleon twice during the journey: firstly by clipping one side of the ship against some roadside wheelie-bins (causing his mast to collapse) and later by clipping and knocking over a sign placed at a toll-booth.
In Huế, Clarkson and May convinced several staff at a local restaurant to vandalise Hammond's Minsk by spray-painting it bright pink, while Hammond repaired his model ship (which was damaged during the journey) in the hotel's business centre. However he damaged it again almost immediately; standing up with the model, the mast got caught in the ceiling fan, breaking it once again.
The next day, they entered North Vietnam
North Vietnam
The Democratic Republic of Vietnam , was a communist state that ruled the northern half of Vietnam from 1954 until 1976 following the Geneva Conference and laid claim to all of Vietnam from 1945 to 1954 during the First Indochina War, during which they controlled pockets of territory throughout...
through Đông Hà, where they spent the morning completing the challenge of securing driver's licences. This entailed sitting through a theory lesson in a classroom. All three presenters were asked to stand up and answer a question. May made hand gestures, Hammond then made an arbitrary comment about turning vehicles giving way (in English), while Clarkson made a statement in Vietnamese that was deemed correct. He then explained to the other presenters that the teacher asked him "what is the minimum required age to obtain a motorcycle license", which he correctly answered with "18", and that "If they hadn't learned Vietnamese when they knew they were coming to Vietnam, that was their problem". They then proceeded to a practical riding test, attempting to navigate a course marked out by paint on the ground. Hammond and May passed, while Clarkson repeatedly failed, unable to stay within the painted guidelines. They concluded the challenge by reasoning that, as Clarkson had passed the theory and the other two had passed the practical, Top Gear had collectively passed the test. At the end of the challenge Clarkson damaged May's 'gift' by forgetting to lower the stand on May's bike and dropping it (a running gag throughout the show).
After visiting the bullet-torn Citadel of Huế (one of the major battlefields during the Tet Offensive of 1968), Clarkson reasoned that the trio could not make it to their final destination in the allotted time. They therefore decided to "cheat" by boarding an overnight train to Hạ Long
Ha Long
Hạ Long also known as Hong Gai, Hon Gai and Hongay, is the capital city of Quang Ninh province, Vietnam. The city mainly lies on Bai Tu Long Bay, which is part of the Hạ Long Bay. It is located at about 160 km northeast of Hanoi...
, a 13-hour journey which bypassed Vinh
Vinh
Vinh is a city in Vietnam. It is located in the northern half of the country, and is the capital of Nghệ An Province. Politically, Vinh is a municipality within Nghệ An Province. On September 5th, 2008, it was upgraded from Grade-II city to Grade-I city, the fourth Grade-I city of Vietnam after...
, Thanh Hóa
Thanh Hóa
Thanh Hóa is the capital city of Vietnam's Thanh Hoa province. The population is nearly 200,000 with an area of only 57.9 square kilometers....
and Nam Định. To kill time in the train each presenter tried to "fix" the damage accumulated by the other's gift: Hammond tried to refurbish Clarkson's ripped painting by adding a Land Rover
Land Rover
Land Rover is a British car manufacturer with its headquarters in Gaydon, Warwickshire, United Kingdom which specialises in four-wheel-drive vehicles. It is owned by the Indian company Tata Motors, forming part of their Jaguar Land Rover group...
; Clarkson tried to super-glue May's shattered sculpture back together; and May transformed Hammond's galleon into a Chinese junk
Junk (ship)
A junk is an ancient Chinese sailing vessel design still in use today. Junks were developed during the Han Dynasty and were used as sea-going vessels as early as the 2nd century AD. They evolved in the later dynasties, and were used throughout Asia for extensive ocean voyages...
. Upon disembarking, the trio discovered that they had boarded the wrong train and had arrived in Hanoi
Hanoi
Hanoi , is the capital of Vietnam and the country's second largest city. Its population in 2009 was estimated at 2.6 million for urban districts, 6.5 million for the metropolitan jurisdiction. From 1010 until 1802, it was the most important political centre of Vietnam...
(Hà Nội), 79.49 mi (127.93 km) to the west of their intended destination.
During the final push to Hạ Long, Clarkson fell off his Vespa, breaking 2 ribs and badly scraping his right arm and elbow. He finally concluded of two-wheel motoring, "I've always said to my children that if they buy a bike, I will burn it, and if they replace it with another one, I shall burn that too. Now, however, if they buy a bike I will completely understand — and then I'll burn it."
By dusk, the exhausted trio had arrived at the wharf in Hạ Long, only to be given one final challenge: to navigate the maze of 1,969 limestone islets in Hạ Long Bay and get to Ba Hàng Bar, located in a cove somewhere in the waters, by converting their motorcycles into watercraft overnight. Upon setting off the next morning, May's craft nearly sank early on and was towed back to shore for repairs. Meanwhile, Hammond and Clarkson got lost and found themselves stuck in the mouth of a cave. Eventually, Clarkson reached their destination first, Hammond second (after his steering had failed), and May later joined them by swimming from where his "bike-ski" had disintegrated and started to sink for the second time. In the film's conclusion, Clarkson summed up their adventure and ended with "Vietnam: You don't know, man! You weren't there!"
Ending credits
Continuing Top Gear Specials' tradition, the ending credits featured the first names of the crew all being replaced by "Francis Ford", in reference to film-maker Francis Ford CoppolaFrancis Ford Coppola
Francis Ford Coppola is an American film director, producer and screenwriter. He is widely acclaimed as one of Hollywood's most innovative and influential film directors...
and his Vietnam War epic Apocalypse Now
Apocalypse Now
Apocalypse Now is a 1979 American war film set during the Vietnam War, produced and directed by Francis Ford Coppola. The central character is US Army special operations officer Captain Benjamin L. Willard , of MACV-SOG, an assassin sent to kill the renegade and presumed insane Special Forces...
.
DVD release
The DVD, released in March 2009, featured commentary from producer Andy WilmanAndy Wilman
Andrew "Andy" Wilman is a British television producer who is best known as the producer of the present Top Gear show. He has also presented segments of the original Top Gear...
and other members of the crew. Additional footage which was deleted from the original episode include: visits by Clarkson to other car dealerships and Hammond to a John Deere
Deere & Company
Deere & Company, usually known by its brand name John Deere , is an American corporation based in Moline, Illinois, and the leading manufacturer of agricultural machinery in the world. In 2010, it was listed as 107th in the Fortune 500 ranking...
tractor dealership; a test of the bikes by The Stig's
The Stig
The Stig is a character in the British motoring television show Top Gear. The character plays on the anonymity of racing drivers' full-face helmets, with the running joke that nobody knows who, or indeed what, is inside the character's racing suit. The character was the creation of presenter Jeremy...
Communist
Communism
Communism is a social, political and economic ideology that aims at the establishment of a classless, moneyless, revolutionary and stateless socialist society structured upon common ownership of the means of production...
cousin (a local stunt biker in red helmet and red racing suit); a race between James May with the Super Cub and a two-cow ploughing team; and a discussion of Vietnam's traffic fines between Clarkson and May.