Parenting styles
Encyclopedia
A parenting style is a psychological
construct representing standard strategies that parents use in their child rearing. There are many differing theories and opinions on the best ways to rear children, as well as differing levels of time and effort that parents are willing to invest
.
Many parents create their own style from a combination of factors, and these may evolve over time as the children develop their own personalities and move through life's stages. Parenting style is affected by both the parents' and children's temperaments, and is largely based on the influence of one’s own parents and culture. "Most parents learn parenting practices from their own parents — some they accept, some they discard." The degree to which a child's education
is part of parenting is a further matter of debate.
style was developed by Diana Baumrind
. She proposed that parents fall into one of three categories: authoritarian (telling their children exactly what to do), indulgent (allowing their children to do whatever they wish), or authoritative (providing rules and guidance without being overbearing). The theory was later extended to include negligent parents (disregarding the children, and focusing on other interests).
A number of ethical parenting styles have been proposed, some based on the authoritarian model of strict obedience to scriptural law (for example in the Bible
), others based on empathy with the emotional state of a child.
The intensity of parental involvement remains a matter of debate. At opposite extremes are Slow parenting
in which parents stand back, merely supporting their children in doing what they want to do as independent individuals (but guiding them when the children are not developing healthy attitudes), versus Concerted cultivation
in which children are driven to attend a maximum number of lessons and organised activities, each designed to teach them a valuable skill which the parent has decided for them.
Beginning in the 17th century, two philosophers independently wrote works that have been widely influential in child rearing. John Locke
's 1693 book Some Thoughts Concerning Education
is a well known foundation for educational pedagogy from a Puritan
standpoint. Locke highlights the importance of experiences to a child's development, and recommends developing their physical habits first. In 1762, the French philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau
published a volume on education, Emile: or, On Education
. He proposed that early education should be derived less from books and more from a child's interactions with the world. Of these, Rousseau
is more consistent with slow parenting
, and Locke
is more for concerted cultivation
.
Other theorists, mainly from the twentieth century, have focused on how children develop and have had a significant impact on childhood education and how parents rear their children.
Jean Piaget
's theory of cognitive development
describes how children represent and reason about the world. This is a developmental stage theory that consists of a Sensorimotor stage, Preoperational stage, Concrete operational stage, and Formal operational stage. Piaget was a pioneer in the field of child development and continues to influence parents, educators and other theorists.
Erik Erikson
, a developmental psychologist, proposed eight life stages
through which each person must develop. In each stage, they must understand and balance two conflicting forces, and so parents might choose a series of parenting styles that helps each child as appropriate at each stage. The first five of his eight stages occur in childhood: The virtue of hope requires balancing trust with mistrust, and typically occurs from birth to one year old. Will balances autonomy with shame and doubt around the ages of two to three. Purpose balances initiative with guilt around the ages of four to six years. Competence balances industry against inferiority around ages seven to 12. Fidelity contrasts identity with role confusion, in ages 13 to 19. The remaining adult virtues are love, care and wisdom.
Rudolf Dreikurs
believed that pre-adolescent children's misbehaviour was caused by their unfulfilled wish to be a member of a social group. He argued that they then act out a sequence of four mistaken goals: first they seek attention. If they do not get it, they aim for power, then revenge and finally feel inadequate. This theory is used in education as well as parenting, forming a valuable theory upon which to manage misbehaviour. Other parenting techniques should also be used to encourage learning and happiness.
Frank Furedi
is a sociologist with a particular interest in parenting and families. He believes that the actions of parents are less decisive than others claim. He describes the term infant determinism, as the determination of a person's life prospects by what happens to them during infancy, arguing that there is little or no evidence for its truth. While other commercial, governmental and other interests constantly try to guide parents to do more and worry more for their children, he believes that children are capable of developing well in almost any circumstances. Furedi quotes Steve Petersen of Washington University: "development really wants to happen. It takes very impoverished environments to interfere with development ... [just] don't raise your child in a closet, starve them, or hit them on the head with a frying pan." Similarly, the journalist Tim Gill has expressed concern about excessive risk aversion
by parents and those responsible for children in his book No Fear. This aversion limits the opportunities for children to develop sufficient adult skills, particularly in dealing with risk, but also in performing adventurous and imaginative activities.
In 1998, independent scholar Judith Rich Harris
published The Nurture Assumption
, in which she argued that scientific evidence especially behavioral genetics showed that all different forms of parenting do not have significant effects on children's development, short of cases of severe abuse or neglect. The purported effects of different forms of parenting are all illusions caused by heredity, the culture at large, and children's own influence on how their parents treat them.
Baumrind believed that parents should be neither punitive nor aloof. Rather, they should develop rules for their children and be affectionate with them. These parenting styles are meant to describe normal variations in parenting, not deviant parenting, such as might be observed in abusive
homes. Most parents do not fall neatly in one category, but fall somewhere in the middle, showing characteristics of more than one style.
Authoritative parenting, also called 'assertive democratic' or 'balanced' parenting, is characterized by a child-centered approach that holds high expectations of maturity
. Authoritative parents can understand their children’s feelings and teach them how to regulate them. They often help them to find appropriate outlets to solve problems. "Authoritative parenting encourages children to be independent but still places limits and controls
on their actions." "Extensive verbal give-and-take is allowed, and parents are warm and nurturant toward the child." Authoritative parents are not usually as controlling, allowing the child to explore more freely, thus having them make their own decisions based upon their own reasoning.
Authoritative parents set limits and demand maturity, but when punishing a child, the parent will explain his or her motive for their punishment. "Their punishments are measured and consistent in discipline, not harsh or arbitrary. Parents will set clear standards for their children, monitor limits that they set, and also allow children to develop autonomy. They also expect mature, independent, and age-appropriate behavior of children." They are attentive to their children’s need
s and concerns, and will typically forgive and teach instead of punishing if a child falls short. This is supposed to result in children having a higher self esteem and independence because of the democratic give-take nature of the authoritative parenting style. This is the most recommended style of parenting by child-rearing experts.
Authoritarian parenting, also called strict parenting, is characterized by high expectations of conformity and compliance to parental rules and directions, while allowing little open dialogue between parent and child. "Authoritarian parenting is a restrictive, punitive style in which parents advise the child to follow their directions and to respect their work and effort." Authoritarian parents expect much of their child but generally do not explain the reasoning for the rules or boundaries. Authoritarian parents are less responsive to their children’s needs, and are more likely to spank a child rather than discuss the problem.
Children resulting from this type of parenting may have less social competence because the parent generally tells the child what to do instead of allowing the child to choose by him or herself. Nonetheless, researchers have found that in some cultures and ethnic groups, aspects of authoritarian style may be associated with more positive child outcomes than Baumrind expects. "Aspects of traditional Asian child-rearing practices are often continued by Asian American families. In some cases, these practices have been described as authoritarian." If the demands are pushed too forcefully upon the child, the child will break down, rebel, or run away.
Indulgent parenting, also called permissive, nondirective or lenient, is characterized as having few behavioral expectations for the child. "Indulgent parenting is a style of parenting in which parents are very involved with their children but place few demands or controls on them." Parents are nurturing and accepting, and are very responsive to the child's needs and wishes. Indulgent parents do not require children to regulate themselves or behave appropriately. This may result in creating spoiled brats or "spoiled sweet" children depending on the behavior of the children.
From a recent study,
Children of permissive parents may tend to be more impulsive, and as adolescents, may engage more in misconduct, and in drug use. "Children never learn to control their own behavior and always expect to get their way." But in the better cases they are emotionally secure, independent and are willing to learn and accept defeat. They mature quickly and are able to live life without the help of someone else. But as previously noted, the usefulness of these data are limited, as they are only correlational and can not rule out effects such as heredity (permissive parents and their children share hands-off personalities and are likely to be less driven as their authoritarian counterparts), child-to-parent effects (unfocused and unmanageable children might discourage their parents from trying too hard), and local shared cultural values (that may not emphasize achievement).
Neglectful parenting is also called uninvolved, detached, dismissive or hands-off. The parents are low in warmth and control, are generally not involved in their child's life, are disengaged, undemanding, low in responsiveness, and do not set limits. Neglectful parenting can also mean dismissing the children's emotions and opinions. Parents are emotionally unsupportive of their children, but will still provide their basic needs. Provide basic needs meaning: food, housing, and toiletries or money for the prementioned.
Children whose parents are neglectful develop the sense that other aspects of the parents’ lives are more important than they are. Many children of this parenting style often attempt to provide for themselves or halt depending on the parent to get a feeling of being independent and mature beyond their years. Parents, and thus their children, often display contradictory behavior. Children become emotionally withdrawn from social situations. This disturbed attachment also impacts relationships later on in life. In adolescence, they may show patterns of truancy and delinquency.
One of the biggest effects on parenting is socio-economic status, in reference with ethnicity and culture as well. For example, living in a dangerous neighborhood could make a parent more authoritarian due to fear of their environment. Parents who are more highly educated tend to have better jobs and better financial security, and this reduction of potential stressors has a significant effect on parenting.
Category:Parenting
Category:Childhood
de:Erziehungsstil
es:Estilos Parentales
nl:Opvoedingsstijl
sr:Стил родитељства
Psychology
Psychology is the study of the mind and behavior. Its immediate goal is to understand individuals and groups by both establishing general principles and researching specific cases. For many, the ultimate goal of psychology is to benefit society...
construct representing standard strategies that parents use in their child rearing. There are many differing theories and opinions on the best ways to rear children, as well as differing levels of time and effort that parents are willing to invest
Parental investment
In evolutionary biology, parental investment is any parental expenditure that benefits one offspring at a cost to parents' ability to invest in other components of fitness...
.
Many parents create their own style from a combination of factors, and these may evolve over time as the children develop their own personalities and move through life's stages. Parenting style is affected by both the parents' and children's temperaments, and is largely based on the influence of one’s own parents and culture. "Most parents learn parenting practices from their own parents — some they accept, some they discard." The degree to which a child's education
Education
Education in its broadest, general sense is the means through which the aims and habits of a group of people lives on from one generation to the next. Generally, it occurs through any experience that has a formative effect on the way one thinks, feels, or acts...
is part of parenting is a further matter of debate.
Theories of child rearing
One of the best known theories of parentingParenting
Parenting is the process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood...
style was developed by Diana Baumrind
Diana Baumrind
Diana Blumberg Baumrind is a clinical and developmental psychologist.Baumrind was born into a small Jewish community in New York City, the first of two daughters of Hyman and Mollie Blumberg. She completed her B.A. in Psychology and Philosophy at Hunter College in 1948, and her M.A. and Ph.D. in...
. She proposed that parents fall into one of three categories: authoritarian (telling their children exactly what to do), indulgent (allowing their children to do whatever they wish), or authoritative (providing rules and guidance without being overbearing). The theory was later extended to include negligent parents (disregarding the children, and focusing on other interests).
A number of ethical parenting styles have been proposed, some based on the authoritarian model of strict obedience to scriptural law (for example in the Bible
Bible
The Bible refers to any one of the collections of the primary religious texts of Judaism and Christianity. There is no common version of the Bible, as the individual books , their contents and their order vary among denominations...
), others based on empathy with the emotional state of a child.
The intensity of parental involvement remains a matter of debate. At opposite extremes are Slow parenting
Slow parenting
Slow parenting is a parenting style in which few activities are organised for children. Instead, they are allowed to explore the world at their own pace...
in which parents stand back, merely supporting their children in doing what they want to do as independent individuals (but guiding them when the children are not developing healthy attitudes), versus Concerted cultivation
Concerted cultivation
Concerted cultivation is a style of parenting that is marked by a parent's attempts to foster their child's talents through organized leisure activities. This parenting style is commonly exhibited in middle and upper class American families...
in which children are driven to attend a maximum number of lessons and organised activities, each designed to teach them a valuable skill which the parent has decided for them.
Beginning in the 17th century, two philosophers independently wrote works that have been widely influential in child rearing. John Locke
John Locke
John Locke FRS , widely known as the Father of Liberalism, was an English philosopher and physician regarded as one of the most influential of Enlightenment thinkers. Considered one of the first of the British empiricists, following the tradition of Francis Bacon, he is equally important to social...
's 1693 book Some Thoughts Concerning Education
Some Thoughts Concerning Education
Some Thoughts Concerning Education is a 1693 treatise on the education of gentlemen written by the English philosopher John Locke. For over a century, it was the most important philosophical work on education in England...
is a well known foundation for educational pedagogy from a Puritan
Puritan
The Puritans were a significant grouping of English Protestants in the 16th and 17th centuries. Puritanism in this sense was founded by some Marian exiles from the clergy shortly after the accession of Elizabeth I of England in 1558, as an activist movement within the Church of England...
standpoint. Locke highlights the importance of experiences to a child's development, and recommends developing their physical habits first. In 1762, the French philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Jean-Jacques Rousseau was a Genevan philosopher, writer, and composer of 18th-century Romanticism. His political philosophy influenced the French Revolution as well as the overall development of modern political, sociological and educational thought.His novel Émile: or, On Education is a treatise...
published a volume on education, Emile: or, On Education
Emile: Or, On Education
Émile, or On Education is a treatise on the nature of education and on the nature of man written by Jean-Jacques Rousseau, who considered it to be the “best and most important of all my writings”. Due to a section of the book entitled “Profession of Faith of the Savoyard Vicar,” Émile was be...
. He proposed that early education should be derived less from books and more from a child's interactions with the world. Of these, Rousseau
Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Jean-Jacques Rousseau was a Genevan philosopher, writer, and composer of 18th-century Romanticism. His political philosophy influenced the French Revolution as well as the overall development of modern political, sociological and educational thought.His novel Émile: or, On Education is a treatise...
is more consistent with slow parenting
Slow parenting
Slow parenting is a parenting style in which few activities are organised for children. Instead, they are allowed to explore the world at their own pace...
, and Locke
John Locke
John Locke FRS , widely known as the Father of Liberalism, was an English philosopher and physician regarded as one of the most influential of Enlightenment thinkers. Considered one of the first of the British empiricists, following the tradition of Francis Bacon, he is equally important to social...
is more for concerted cultivation
Concerted cultivation
Concerted cultivation is a style of parenting that is marked by a parent's attempts to foster their child's talents through organized leisure activities. This parenting style is commonly exhibited in middle and upper class American families...
.
Other theorists, mainly from the twentieth century, have focused on how children develop and have had a significant impact on childhood education and how parents rear their children.
Jean Piaget
Jean Piaget
Jean Piaget was a French-speaking Swiss developmental psychologist and philosopher known for his epistemological studies with children. His theory of cognitive development and epistemological view are together called "genetic epistemology"....
's theory of cognitive development
Theory of cognitive development
Piaget's theory of cognitive development is a comprehensive theory about the nature and development of human intelligence first developed by Jean Piaget. It is primarily known as a developmental stage theory, but in fact, it deals with the nature of knowledge itself and how humans come gradually to...
describes how children represent and reason about the world. This is a developmental stage theory that consists of a Sensorimotor stage, Preoperational stage, Concrete operational stage, and Formal operational stage. Piaget was a pioneer in the field of child development and continues to influence parents, educators and other theorists.
Erik Erikson
Erik Erikson
Erik Erikson was a Danish-German-American developmental psychologist and psychoanalyst known for his theory on social development of human beings. He may be most famous for coining the phrase identity crisis. His son, Kai T...
, a developmental psychologist, proposed eight life stages
Erikson's stages of psychosocial development
Erikson's stages of psychosocial development as articulated by Erik Erikson explain eight stages through which a healthily developing human should pass from infancy to late adulthood. In each stage the person confronts, and hopefully masters, new challenges. Each stage builds on the successful...
through which each person must develop. In each stage, they must understand and balance two conflicting forces, and so parents might choose a series of parenting styles that helps each child as appropriate at each stage. The first five of his eight stages occur in childhood: The virtue of hope requires balancing trust with mistrust, and typically occurs from birth to one year old. Will balances autonomy with shame and doubt around the ages of two to three. Purpose balances initiative with guilt around the ages of four to six years. Competence balances industry against inferiority around ages seven to 12. Fidelity contrasts identity with role confusion, in ages 13 to 19. The remaining adult virtues are love, care and wisdom.
Rudolf Dreikurs
Rudolf Dreikurs
Rudolf Dreikurs was an American psychiatrist and educator who developed psychologist Alfred Adler's system of individual psychology into a pragmatic method for understanding the purposes of reprehensible behaviour in children and for stimulating cooperative behaviour without punishment or...
believed that pre-adolescent children's misbehaviour was caused by their unfulfilled wish to be a member of a social group. He argued that they then act out a sequence of four mistaken goals: first they seek attention. If they do not get it, they aim for power, then revenge and finally feel inadequate. This theory is used in education as well as parenting, forming a valuable theory upon which to manage misbehaviour. Other parenting techniques should also be used to encourage learning and happiness.
Frank Furedi
Frank Furedi
Frank Furedi is professor of sociology at the University of Kent, United Kingdom. He is well known for his work on sociology of fear, therapy culture, paranoid parenting and sociology of knowledge....
is a sociologist with a particular interest in parenting and families. He believes that the actions of parents are less decisive than others claim. He describes the term infant determinism, as the determination of a person's life prospects by what happens to them during infancy, arguing that there is little or no evidence for its truth. While other commercial, governmental and other interests constantly try to guide parents to do more and worry more for their children, he believes that children are capable of developing well in almost any circumstances. Furedi quotes Steve Petersen of Washington University: "development really wants to happen. It takes very impoverished environments to interfere with development ... [just] don't raise your child in a closet, starve them, or hit them on the head with a frying pan." Similarly, the journalist Tim Gill has expressed concern about excessive risk aversion
Risk aversion
Risk aversion is a concept in psychology, economics, and finance, based on the behavior of humans while exposed to uncertainty....
by parents and those responsible for children in his book No Fear. This aversion limits the opportunities for children to develop sufficient adult skills, particularly in dealing with risk, but also in performing adventurous and imaginative activities.
In 1998, independent scholar Judith Rich Harris
Judith Rich Harris
Judith Rich Harris is a psychology researcher and the author of The Nurture Assumption, a book criticizing the belief that parents are the most important factor in child development, and presenting evidence which contradicts that belief.Harris has been a resident of Middletown Township, New...
published The Nurture Assumption
The Nurture Assumption
The Nurture Assumption: Why Children Turn Out the Way They Do is a book written by Judith Rich Harris, with a foreword by Steven Pinker, originally published 1998 by the Free Press, which published a revised edition in 2009. It has been published in at least 20 languages...
, in which she argued that scientific evidence especially behavioral genetics showed that all different forms of parenting do not have significant effects on children's development, short of cases of severe abuse or neglect. The purported effects of different forms of parenting are all illusions caused by heredity, the culture at large, and children's own influence on how their parents treat them.
Baumrind's general parenting styles
iana Baumrind](1973)] became particuallary interested in the connection between the parental behavior and the development of instrumental competence, which refers to the ability to manipulate the enviornment to achieve ones goals. 'In her research, found what she considered to be the four basic elements that could help shape successful parenting: responsiveness vs. unresponsiveness and demanding vs. undemanding. From these, she identified three general parenting styles: authoritative, authoritarian, and permissive. Maccoby and Martin expanded the styles to four: authoritative, authoritarian, indulgent and neglectful. These four styles of parenting involve combinations of acceptance and responsiveness on the one hand and demand and control on the other.| Maccoby and Martin's Four Parenting Styles Baumrind's Three Parenting Styles (in italics) |
||
|---|---|---|
| Demanding | Undemanding | |
| Responsive | Authoritative/Propagative | Indulgent/Freeranger (Permissive) |
| Unresponsive | Authoritarian/Totalitarian | Neglectful |
Baumrind believed that parents should be neither punitive nor aloof. Rather, they should develop rules for their children and be affectionate with them. These parenting styles are meant to describe normal variations in parenting, not deviant parenting, such as might be observed in abusive
Child abuse
Child abuse is the physical, sexual, emotional mistreatment, or neglect of a child. In the United States, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the Department of Children And Families define child maltreatment as any act or series of acts of commission or omission by a parent or...
homes. Most parents do not fall neatly in one category, but fall somewhere in the middle, showing characteristics of more than one style.
Authoritative parenting
The parent is demanding and responsive. Elaborate becomes propagative parenting.Authoritative parenting, also called 'assertive democratic' or 'balanced' parenting, is characterized by a child-centered approach that holds high expectations of maturity
Maturity (psychological)
Maturity is a psychological term used to indicate how a person responds to the circumstances or environment in an appropriate manner. This response is generally learned rather than instinctive, and is not determined by one's age...
. Authoritative parents can understand their children’s feelings and teach them how to regulate them. They often help them to find appropriate outlets to solve problems. "Authoritative parenting encourages children to be independent but still places limits and controls
Social control
Social control refers generally to societal and political mechanisms or processes that regulate individual and group behavior, leading to conformity and compliance to the rules of a given society, state, or social group. Many mechanisms of social control are cross-cultural, if only in the control...
on their actions." "Extensive verbal give-and-take is allowed, and parents are warm and nurturant toward the child." Authoritative parents are not usually as controlling, allowing the child to explore more freely, thus having them make their own decisions based upon their own reasoning.
Authoritative parents set limits and demand maturity, but when punishing a child, the parent will explain his or her motive for their punishment. "Their punishments are measured and consistent in discipline, not harsh or arbitrary. Parents will set clear standards for their children, monitor limits that they set, and also allow children to develop autonomy. They also expect mature, independent, and age-appropriate behavior of children." They are attentive to their children’s need
Need
A need is something that is necessary for organisms to live a healthy life. Needs are distinguished from wants because a deficiency would cause a clear negative outcome, such as dysfunction or death. Needs can be objective and physical, such as food, or they can be subjective and psychological,...
s and concerns, and will typically forgive and teach instead of punishing if a child falls short. This is supposed to result in children having a higher self esteem and independence because of the democratic give-take nature of the authoritative parenting style. This is the most recommended style of parenting by child-rearing experts.
Authoritarian parenting
The parent is demanding but not responsive. Elaborate becomes totalitarian parenting.Authoritarian parenting, also called strict parenting, is characterized by high expectations of conformity and compliance to parental rules and directions, while allowing little open dialogue between parent and child. "Authoritarian parenting is a restrictive, punitive style in which parents advise the child to follow their directions and to respect their work and effort." Authoritarian parents expect much of their child but generally do not explain the reasoning for the rules or boundaries. Authoritarian parents are less responsive to their children’s needs, and are more likely to spank a child rather than discuss the problem.
Children resulting from this type of parenting may have less social competence because the parent generally tells the child what to do instead of allowing the child to choose by him or herself. Nonetheless, researchers have found that in some cultures and ethnic groups, aspects of authoritarian style may be associated with more positive child outcomes than Baumrind expects. "Aspects of traditional Asian child-rearing practices are often continued by Asian American families. In some cases, these practices have been described as authoritarian." If the demands are pushed too forcefully upon the child, the child will break down, rebel, or run away.
Indulgent parenting
The parent is responsive but not demanding. Elaborate becomes freeranger parenting.Indulgent parenting, also called permissive, nondirective or lenient, is characterized as having few behavioral expectations for the child. "Indulgent parenting is a style of parenting in which parents are very involved with their children but place few demands or controls on them." Parents are nurturing and accepting, and are very responsive to the child's needs and wishes. Indulgent parents do not require children to regulate themselves or behave appropriately. This may result in creating spoiled brats or "spoiled sweet" children depending on the behavior of the children.
From a recent study,
- The teens least prone to heavy drinking had parents who scored high on both accountability and warmth.
- So-called 'indulgent' parents, those low on accountability and high on warmth, nearly tripled the risk of their teen participating in heavy drinking.
- 'Strict parents' – high on accountability and low on warmth – more than doubled their teen’s risk of heavy drinking.
Children of permissive parents may tend to be more impulsive, and as adolescents, may engage more in misconduct, and in drug use. "Children never learn to control their own behavior and always expect to get their way." But in the better cases they are emotionally secure, independent and are willing to learn and accept defeat. They mature quickly and are able to live life without the help of someone else. But as previously noted, the usefulness of these data are limited, as they are only correlational and can not rule out effects such as heredity (permissive parents and their children share hands-off personalities and are likely to be less driven as their authoritarian counterparts), child-to-parent effects (unfocused and unmanageable children might discourage their parents from trying too hard), and local shared cultural values (that may not emphasize achievement).
Neglectful parenting
The parent is neither demanding nor responsive. Cannot be elaborated.Neglectful parenting is also called uninvolved, detached, dismissive or hands-off. The parents are low in warmth and control, are generally not involved in their child's life, are disengaged, undemanding, low in responsiveness, and do not set limits. Neglectful parenting can also mean dismissing the children's emotions and opinions. Parents are emotionally unsupportive of their children, but will still provide their basic needs. Provide basic needs meaning: food, housing, and toiletries or money for the prementioned.
Children whose parents are neglectful develop the sense that other aspects of the parents’ lives are more important than they are. Many children of this parenting style often attempt to provide for themselves or halt depending on the parent to get a feeling of being independent and mature beyond their years. Parents, and thus their children, often display contradictory behavior. Children become emotionally withdrawn from social situations. This disturbed attachment also impacts relationships later on in life. In adolescence, they may show patterns of truancy and delinquency.
Other parenting styles
What may be right for one family or one child may not be suitable for another. With authoritarian and permissive (indulgent) parenting on opposite sides of the spectrum, most conventional and modern models of parenting fall somewhere in between. The model or style that parents employ depends partly on how they themselves were reared, what they consider good parenting, the child's temperament, their current environmental situation, and whether they place more importance on their own needs or whether they are striving to further their child's future success. Parents who place greater importance on the child's physical security may be more authoritarian, while parents who are more concerned with intellectual development may push their children into a number of organized extra-curricular activities such as music and language lessons.One of the biggest effects on parenting is socio-economic status, in reference with ethnicity and culture as well. For example, living in a dangerous neighborhood could make a parent more authoritarian due to fear of their environment. Parents who are more highly educated tend to have better jobs and better financial security, and this reduction of potential stressors has a significant effect on parenting.
- Attachment parentingAttachment parentingAttachment parenting, a phrase coined by pediatrician William Sears, is a parenting philosophy based on the principles of the attachment theory in developmental psychology. According to attachment theory, the child forms a strong emotional bond with caregivers during childhood with lifelong...
– Seeks to create strong emotional bondHuman bondingHuman bonding is the process of development of a close, interpersonal relationship. It most commonly takes place between family members or friends, but can also develop among groups such as sporting teams and whenever people spend time together...
s, avoiding physical punishment and accomplishing discipline through interactions recognizing a child's emotional needs all while focusing on holistic understandingUnderstandingUnderstanding is a psychological process related to an abstract or physical object, such as a person, situation, or message whereby one is able to think about it and use concepts to deal adequately with that object....
of the child. - Christian parenting – The application of biblicalBibleThe Bible refers to any one of the collections of the primary religious texts of Judaism and Christianity. There is no common version of the Bible, as the individual books , their contents and their order vary among denominations...
principles on parenting, mainly in the United States. While some Christian parents follow a stricter and more authoritarian interpretation of the Bible, others are "grace-based" and share methods advocated in the attachment parentingAttachment parentingAttachment parenting, a phrase coined by pediatrician William Sears, is a parenting philosophy based on the principles of the attachment theory in developmental psychology. According to attachment theory, the child forms a strong emotional bond with caregivers during childhood with lifelong...
and positive parenting theories. Particularly influential on opposite sides have been James DobsonJames DobsonJames Clayton "Jim" Dobson, Jr. is an American evangelical Christian author, psychologist, and founder in 1977 of Focus on the Family , which he led until 2003. In the 1980s he was ranked as one of the most influential spokesman for conservative social positions in American public life...
and his book Dare to Discipline, and William SearsWilliam Sears (physician)William Penton Sears is an American pediatrician and the author or co-author of more than 30 parenting books, most notably several in the "Sears Parenting Library." He is a frequent guest on television talkshows, where he goes by the name Dr. Bill...
who has written several parenting books including The Complete Book of Christian Parenting & Child Care and The Discipline Book. - Emotion coaching – This style of parenting lays out a loving, nurturing path for raising happy, well-adjusted, well-behaved children. It’s called emotion coaching and it feels good to parents and kids alike. Emotion coaching helps teach your child how to recognize and express the way he is feeling in an appropriate way.
- Concerted cultivationConcerted cultivationConcerted cultivation is a style of parenting that is marked by a parent's attempts to foster their child's talents through organized leisure activities. This parenting style is commonly exhibited in middle and upper class American families...
– A style of parenting that is marked by the parents' attempts to foster their child's talents through organized leisure activities. This parenting style is commonly exhibited in middle and upper class American families. - Overparenting – Parents who try to involve themselves in every aspect of their child's life, often attempting to solve all their problems. A helicopter parentHelicopter parentHelicopter parent is a colloquial, early 21st-century term for a parent who pays extremely close attention to his or her child's or children's experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions. The term was originally coined by Foster W. Cline, M.D. and Jim Fay in their 1990 book...
is a colloquial, early 21st-century term for a parent who pays extremely close attention to his or her children's experiences and problems, and attempts to sweep all obstacles out of their paths, particularly at educational institutions. Helicopter parents are so named because, like helicopters, they hover closely overhead. It is a form of overparenting. - Nurturant parentingNurturant parent modelThe nurturant parent model is a parenting style which envisions a family model where children are expected to explore their surroundings with protection from their parents. This model believes that children inherently know what they need and should be allowed to explore...
– A family model where children are expected to explore their surroundings with protection from their parents. - Slow parentingSlow parentingSlow parenting is a parenting style in which few activities are organised for children. Instead, they are allowed to explore the world at their own pace...
– Encourages parents to plan and organise less for their children, instead allowing them to enjoy their childhood and explore the world at their own pace. - Strict parentingStrict father modelThe strict father model of parenting is one which values strict discipline, particularly by the father, in parenting.Ideas involved in this model include:* That children learn through reward and punishment, as in operant conditioning....
– An authoritarian approach, places a strong value on discipline and following inflexible rules as a means to survive and thrive in a harsh world. - Parenting For EveryoneParenting For EveryoneParenting For Everyone is a book by Simon Soloveychik."Not many of us can love children, even our own children. Not many of us are wise enough to control our own behavior. Not many of us can avoid anger and be in command of ourselves. In most cases we are tired and irritated. But children...
– A parenting book and one individual's philosophy that discusses parenting from an ethical point of view. - Taking Children SeriouslyTaking Children SeriouslyTaking Children Seriously is a parenting movement and educational philosophy whose central idea is that it is possible and desirable to raise and educate children without either doing anything to them against their will, or making them do anything against their will.It was founded in 1994 as an...
– The central idea of this movement is that it is possible and desirable to raise and educate children without doing anything to them against their will, or making them do anything against their will. - Punishment based Punishment based parenting uses pain, punishment, intimidation, yelling, degredation, humiliation, shame, guilt, or other things that can hurt a child's self esteem or hurt them physically. Their emotional growth and well being are affected greatly. Punishment based discipline hurts the relationship between parent and child.Punishment will put unnecessary pressure on the child and the child is less apt to perform due to pressure.
Dysfunctional parenting styles
- Using (destructively narcissistic parentsNarcissistic parents"A narcissistic parent is typically exclusively and possessively close to his or her child... [and] may be especially envious of a child's growing independence."...
with rule by fear and conditional love) - Abusing (parents who use Physical abusePhysical abusePhysical abuse is abuse involving contact intended to cause feelings of intimidation, injury, or other physical suffering or bodily harm.-Forms of physical abuse:*Striking*Punching*Belting*Pushing, pulling*Slapping*Whipping*Striking with an object...
, emotionalPsychological abusePsychological abuse, also referred to as emotional abuse or mental abuse, is a form of abuse characterized by a person subjecting or exposing another to behavior that may result in psychological trauma, including anxiety, chronic depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder...
or Verbal abuseVerbal abuseVerbal abuse is best described as a negative defining statement told to you or about you; or by withholding any response thus defining the target as non-existant...
to dominate or take advantage of their children) - DeprivationDeprivationDeprivation may refer to:* Poverty* Relative deprivation* Sleep deprivation* Maternal deprivation...
(control or neglectChild neglectChild neglect is defined as:# "the failure of a person responsible for a child’s care and upbringing to safeguard the child’s emotional and physical health and general well-being"...
by withholding love, supportChild supportIn family law and public policy, child support is an ongoing, periodic payment made by a parent for the financial benefit of a child following the end of a marriage or other relationship...
, sympathySympathySympathy is a social affinity in which one person stands with another person, closely understanding his or her feelings. Also known as empathic concern, it is the feeling of compassion or concern for another, the wish to see them better off or happier. Although empathy and sympathy are often used...
, praisePraisePraise is the act of making positive statements about a person, object or idea, either in public or privately. Praise is typically, but not exclusively, earned relative to achievement and accomplishment...
, attentionAttentionAttention is the cognitive process of paying attention to one aspect of the environment while ignoring others. Attention is one of the most intensely studied topics within psychology and cognitive neuroscience....
, encouragement, supervisionChildcareChild care means caring for and supervising child/children usually from 0–13 years of age. In the United States child care is increasingly referred to as early childhood education due to the understanding of the impact of early experiences of the developing child...
, or otherwise putting their children's well-being at risk) - Asymmetrical parenting (going to extremes for one child while continually ignoring the needs of another)
- PerfectionistPerfectionism (psychology)Perfectionism, in psychology, is a belief that a state of completeness and flawlessness can and should be attained. In its pathological form, perfectionism is a belief that work or output that is anything less than perfect is unacceptable...
(fixating on order, prestige, power, and/or perfect appearances) - DogmaDogmaDogma is the established belief or doctrine held by a religion, or a particular group or organization. It is authoritative and not to be disputed, doubted, or diverged from, by the practitioners or believers...
tic or cultCultThe word cult in current popular usage usually refers to a group whose beliefs or practices are considered abnormal or bizarre. The word originally denoted a system of ritual practices...
-like (harsh and inflexible disciplineDisciplineIn its original sense, discipline is referred to systematic instruction given to disciples to train them as students in a craft or trade, or to follow a particular code of conduct or "order". Often, the phrase "to discipline" carries a negative connotation. This is because enforcement of order –...
with children not allowed, within reason, to dissent, question authorityAuthorityThe word Authority is derived mainly from the Latin word auctoritas, meaning invention, advice, opinion, influence, or command. In English, the word 'authority' can be used to mean power given by the state or by academic knowledge of an area .-Authority in Philosophy:In...
, or develop their own value systemValue systemA value system is a set of consistent ethic values and measures used for the purpose of ethical or ideological integrity. A well defined value system is a moral code.-Personal and communal:...
) - Appeasement (parents who reward bad behavior—even by their own standards, and inevitably punish another child's good behavior in order to maintain the peace and avoid temper tantrums "Peace at any price")
- MicromanagementMicromanagementIn business management, micromanagement is a management style where a manager closely observes or controls the work of her or his subordinates or employees...
(parents who micro-manage their children's lives and/or relationships among siblings—especially minor conflicts) - "The deceivers" (well-regarded parents in the community, likely to be involved in some charitable/non-profit works, who abuse or mistreat one or more of their children)
- "Public image manager" (sometimes related to above, children warned to not disclose what fights, abuse, or damage happens at home, or face severe punishment "Don't tell anyone what goes on in this family")
- Role reversal (parents who expect their minor children to take care of them instead)
- "Not your business" (children continuously told that a particular brother or sister who is often causing problems is none of their concern)
- "The guard dog" (a parent who blindly attacks family members perceived as causing the slightest upset to their esteemed spouse, partner, or child)
- "My baby forever" (a mother who will not allow one or more of her young children to grow up and begin taking care of themselves)
- "Along for the ride" (a reluctant de facto, stepStepfamilyA stepfamily, also known as a blended family or reconstituted family, is a family in which one or both members of the couple have children from a previous relationship...
, fosterFoster careFoster care is the term used for a system in which a minor who has been made a ward is placed in the private home of a state certified caregiver referred to as a "foster parent"....
, or adoptiveAdoptionAdoption is a process whereby a person assumes the parenting for another and, in so doing, permanently transfers all rights and responsibilities from the original parent or parents...
parent who does not truly care about their non-biological child, but must co-exist in the same home for the sake of their spouse or partner) - "The politician" (a parent who repeatedly makes or agrees to children's promises while having little or no intention of keeping them)
- "It's taboo" (parents rebuff any questions children may have about sexuality, romance, puberty, certain areas of human anatomy, nudity, etc.)
- "The identified patientIdentified patientIdentified patient, or "IP", is a term used in a clinical setting to describe the person in a dysfunctional family who has been subconsciously selected to act out the family's inner conflicts in order to keep attention focused on an element that lies outside of the core conflict - who is 'often the...
" (one child, usually selected by the mother, who is forced into going to therapy while the family's overall dysfunction is kept hidden) - Münchausen syndrome by proxyMunchausen syndrome by proxyMünchausen syndrome by proxy is a label for a pattern of behavior in which care-givers deliberately exaggerate, fabricate, and/or induce physical, psychological, behavioral, and/or mental health problems in others. Other experts classified MSbP as a mental illness...
(a much more extreme situation than above, where the child is intentionally made ill by a parent seeking attentionAttention seekingEnjoying the attention of others is quite socially acceptable. In some instances, however, the need for attention can lead to difficulties. The term attention seeking is generally reserved for such situations where excessive and "inappropriate attention seeking" is seen.-Styles:The following...
from physicians and other professionals).
Outcomes
Different child-rearing outcomes can be traced to different styles of parenting, but these are effects, rather than causes of factors that lead to the child's outcome, namely genetics and culture. As such successful people are likely to have experienced some forms of parenting more than less successful people because parenting styles are a reflection of the parents' and the child's temperaments (both affected by heredity), and culture. Studying this with any accuracy is very difficult, if not impossible, and trying to simply connect adult or adolescent outcomes to the type of parenting used with them without adjusting for a multitude of other factors will produce misleading or false results.Further reading
- Robert Feldman, Ph.D. at the University of Massachusetts at Amherst. Child Development Third Edition
- Harris. Judith R.. "The Nurture Assumption: Why Children Turn Out the Way They Do," New York Times 1998. (login needed)
- Warash, Bobbie. "Are Middle Class Parents Authoritative with a Touch of Permissiveness?." Delta Kappa Gamma Bulletin 74. 22007 28-31.
- Chua, Amy. Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior WSJ
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