Tuesday Morning Quarterback
Encyclopedia
"Tuesday Morning Quarterback" is a column written by Gregg Easterbrook
Gregg Easterbrook
Gregg Edmund Easterbrook is an American writer, lecturer, and a senior editor of The New Republic. His articles have appeared in Slate, The Atlantic Monthly, The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Los Angeles Times, Reuters, Wired, and Beliefnet. In addition, he was a fellow at the...

 on ESPN.com
ESPN.com
ESPN.com is the official website of ESPN and a division of ESPN Inc. Since launching in 1995 as ESPNet.SportsZone.com, the website has developed numerous sections including: Page 2, SportsNation, ESPN 3.com, ESPN Motion, My ESPN, ESPN Sports Travel, ESPN Video Games, ESPN Insider, ESPN.com's...

.

The column is noted for its length (it often runs over 15 pages in printed form) and frequent sidetracking into political and non-football-related discussion. Easterbrook commonly includes a "Running Items Department", football haiku
Haiku
' , plural haiku, is a very short form of Japanese poetry typically characterised by three qualities:* The essence of haiku is "cutting"...

 and senryū
Senryu
is a Japanese form of short poetry similar to haiku in construction: three lines with 17 or fewer total morae . Senryū tend to be about human foibles while haiku tend to be about nature, and senryū are often cynical or darkly humorous while haiku are more serious...

, "Cheerbabe Cheesecake" and "Equal-Time Beefcake", "obscure college-football scores" including his obsession with Indiana of Pennsylvania
IUP Crimson Hawks
The Indiana University of Pennsylvania Crimson Hawks, commonly known as the IUP Crimson Hawks and formerly called the IUP Indians are the varsity athletic teams that represent Indiana University of Pennsylvania. The university and all of its teams compete in the Pennsylvania State Athletic...

 and California of Pennsylvania
California Vulcans
California University of Pennsylvania's intercollegiate sports teams and players are called the "Vulcans" , and participate in the NCAA's Division II in all sports and the Pennsylvania State Athletic Conference in most sports. The school colors are Red, Black, and White...

, continual references to Christmas creep
Christmas creep
Christmas creep is a merchandising phenomenon in which merchants and retailers exploit the commercialized status of Christmas by moving up the start of the holiday shopping season. The term was first used in the mid 1980s...

 and the general trend of pushing events earlier and earlier (which he refers to as the "Unified Field Theory
Unified field theory
In physics, a unified field theory, occasionally referred to as a uniform field theory, is a type of field theory that allows all that is usually thought of as fundamental forces and elementary particles to be written in terms of a single field. There is no accepted unified field theory, and thus...

 of Creep"), and refers to teams by nicknames or "cognomen
Cognomen
The cognomen nōmen "name") was the third name of a citizen of Ancient Rome, under Roman naming conventions. The cognomen started as a nickname, but lost that purpose when it became hereditary. Hereditary cognomina were used to augment the second name in order to identify a particular branch within...

", such as "Potomac Drainage Basin Indigenous Persons" (Washington Redskins
Washington Redskins
The Washington Redskins are a professional American football team and members of the East Division of the National Football Conference in the National Football League . The team plays at FedExField in Landover, Maryland, while its headquarters and training facility are at Redskin Park in Ashburn,...

) and "Arizona CAUTION: MAY CONTAIN FOOTBALL-LIKE SUBSTANCE Cardinals" (Arizona Cardinals
Arizona Cardinals
The Arizona Cardinals are a professional American football team based in Glendale, Arizona, a suburb of Phoenix. They are currently members of the Western Division of the National Football Conference in the National Football League...

). The nicknames are usually used only if a team is struggling or if the team made a boneheaded play that cost them a game. One exception is the Redskins, whom Easterbrook criticized because of the team's Native American mascot
Native American mascot controversy
The propriety of using Native American mascots and images in sports has been a topic of debate in the United States and Canada since the 1960s.Americans have had a history of drawing inspiration from native peoples and "playing Indian" that dates back at least to the 18th century...

. The nicknames also extends into college football
College football
College football refers to American football played by teams of student athletes fielded by American universities, colleges, and military academies, or Canadian football played by teams of student athletes fielded by Canadian universities...

, calling the Miami Hurricanes
Miami Hurricanes football
The Miami Hurricanes football program competes in the Atlantic Coast Conference of the NCAA's Division I Football Bowl Subdivision for the University of Miami. The program began in 1926 and has won five AP national championships...

 the "Miami Tropical Storms" having been downgraded from a hurricane to a tropical storm, likely in reference to the 2011 scandal
2011 University of Miami athletics scandal
In 2011, the University of Miami Hurricanes football and men's basketball programs were investigated for NCAA rules violations alleged to have taken place from 2002 to 2010, centering around improper benefits given by booster Nevin Shapiro, and reported by investigative reporters at Yahoo!...

.

He also guarantees "All Predictions Wrong or Your Money Back." Of course, the column is free so there is nothing to be refunded.

Recurring themes

General themes which recur in the column include:
  • An emphasis on solid football fundamentals as opposed to what Easterbrook considers an overemphasis on flashy but risky and often foolish plays designed to obtain greater media coverage,
  • Bemoaning the tendency of teams to pass instead of run the football,
  • Analysis of coaching strategy and various excellent or atrocious plays and games.
  • Contending that most successful plays are usually the product of good offensive or defensive line play rather than the prowess of any individual quarterback, running back or wide receiver.
  • Criticizing the overuse of the blitz
    Blitz (American football)
    In American football or Canadian football, a blitz or red dog is when players on or behind the line of scrimmage during a play, are sent across the scrimmage line to the offensive side to try to tackle the quarterback or disrupt his pass attempt...

  • Commenting on coaches punting or kicking field goals
    Field goal (football)
    A field goal in American football and Canadian football is a goal that may be scored during general play . Field goals may be scored by a placekick or the now practically extinct drop kick.The drop kick fell out of favor in 1934 when the shape of the ball was changed...

     instead of trying for first downs or touchdowns, which he mocks as "cowardly".
  • Mockery of most coaches in general, except for Bill Belichick
    Bill Belichick
    William Stephen "Bill" Belichick is an American football head coach for the New England Patriots of the National Football League. After spending his first 15 seasons in the league as an assistant coach, Belichick got his first head coaching job with the Cleveland Browns in 1991...

     with whom he has a conflicted relationship due to his brilliant coaching yet recent ethical lapses.
  • Mockery of various publicity stunts and other public actions from individuals in the football world whom he considers foolish.
  • A continuing tirade against the NFL Sunday Ticket
    NFL Sunday Ticket
    NFL Sunday Ticket is an Out-of-Market Sports Package that broadcasts National Football League regular season games unavailable on local affiliates. It carries all regional Sunday afternoon games produced by Fox and CBS...

     product available only through DirectTV, which he considers an illegal monopoly
    Monopoly
    A monopoly exists when a specific person or enterprise is the only supplier of a particular commodity...

     and an example of a for-profit corporation taking advantage of municipal taxpayers who fund NFL stadium construction.
  • Advocates a "no punting" strategy on 4th down plays, as well as going for a two-point conversion
    Two-point conversion
    In American and Canadian football, a two-point conversion is a play a team attempts instead of kicking a one-point convert immediately after it scores a touchdown...

     when trailing by one in the final seconds of a game, citing the higher expected value of a successful conversion vs. turning the ball over to the opponent, and bemoaning coaches who do not take the risk. The crux of Easterbrook's argument is that the average yards gained on a play is 5 yards. Analysts, however, have stated this theory is short-sighted, since it does not take into account the fact that 4th-and-short attempts usually face goal-line defenses; as such, the two-point conversion, which takes place only two yards from the end zone, is more likely to fail than not, with a 40% success rate. Easterbrook disputes this analysis and claims that the real percentage is between 50% and 55%.
  • Criticizing several local markets' tendency to air lackluster games as opposed to more competitive matchups, except when a local team is playing, which by NFL rules with the television contracts are required to be shown in their home market in their entirety.
  • Criticizing teams that make uniform changes, having cited only four recent team uniform changes (New England
    New England Patriots
    The New England Patriots, commonly called the "Pats", are a professional football team based in the Greater Boston area, playing their home games in the town of Foxborough, Massachusetts at Gillette Stadium. The team is part of the East Division of the American Football Conference in the National...

    , Philadelphia
    Philadelphia Eagles
    The Philadelphia Eagles are a professional American football team based in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. They are members of the East Division of the National Football Conference in the National Football League...

    , San Diego
    San Diego Chargers
    The San Diego Chargers are a professional American football team based in San Diego, California. they were members of the Western Division of the American Football Conference in the National Football League...

    , and St. Louis
    St. Louis Rams
    The St. Louis Rams are a professional American football team based in St. Louis, Missouri. They are currently members of the West Division of the National Football Conference in the National Football League . The Rams have won three NFL Championships .The Rams began playing in 1936 in Cleveland,...

    ) as being an improvement. In particular, Easterbrook hates the "monochrome" look of several teams, leading to the cognomen for Atlanta
    Atlanta Falcons
    The Atlanta Falcons are a professional American football team based in Atlanta, Georgia. They are a member of the South Division of the National Football Conference in the National Football League...

    , Denver
    Denver Broncos
    The Denver Broncos are a professional American football team based in Denver, Colorado. They are currently members of the West Division of the American Football Conference in the National Football League...

    , and Seattle
    Seattle Seahawks
    The Seattle Seahawks are a professional American football team based in Seattle, Washington. They are currently members of the Western Division of the National Football Conference in the National Football League . The team joined the NFL in 1976 as an expansion team...

    , while having mixed opinions on teams wearing throwbacks
    Throwback uniform
    Throwback uniforms and jerseys are one-time or limited-time variations on a sports team's uniforms styled to resemble uniforms from that team's past. They have proven popular in all major pro and college sports in the USA, not only with fans, but with the teams' marketing and merchandising...

    , favoring the Chargers' 1960s look, Buffalo Bills
    Buffalo Bills
    The Buffalo Bills are a professional football team based in Buffalo, New York. They are currently members of the East Division of the American Football Conference in the National Football League...

     O. J. Simpson
    O. J. Simpson
    Orenthal James "O. J." Simpson , nicknamed "The Juice", is a retired American collegiate and professional football player, football broadcaster, and actor...

    -era uniforms, and the Redskins 70th Anniversary throwbacks
    2002 Washington Redskins season
    The 2002 Washington Redskins began with the team trying to improve on their 8–8 record from 2001.-Staff:-Schedule:-References:...

     but not caring much for throwbacks worn by the Eagles, Steelers
    Pittsburgh Steelers
    The Pittsburgh Steelers are a professional football team based in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. The team currently belongs to the North Division of the American Football Conference in the National Football League . Founded in , the Steelers are the oldest franchise in the AFC...

    , or the New York Jets
    New York Jets
    The New York Jets are a professional football team headquartered in Florham Park, New Jersey, representing the New York metropolitan area. The team is a member of the Eastern Division of the American Football Conference in the National Football League...

     decision to return to the Joe Namath
    Joe Namath
    Joseph William "Joe" Namath , nicknamed "Broadway Joe" or "Joe Willie", is a former American football quarterback. He played college football for the University of Alabama under coach Paul "Bear" Bryant and his assistant, Howard Schnellenberger, from 1962–1964, and professional football in the...

    -era uniforms full-time in 1998
    1998 NFL season
    The 1998 NFL season was the 79th regular season of the National Football League.The Tennessee Oilers moved their home games from Liberty Bowl Memorial Stadium in Memphis to Vanderbilt Stadium in Nashville, still awaiting construction on a new stadium in Nashville.This was the first season that CBS...

    .
  • Criticizing teams that engage in running up the score
    Running up the score
    In North American sports, "running up the score" occurs when a team continues to play in such a way as to score additional points after the outcome of the game is no longer in question and the team is assured of winning...

    , considering the move bad karma
    Karma
    Karma in Indian religions is the concept of "action" or "deed", understood as that which causes the entire cycle of cause and effect originating in ancient India and treated in Hindu, Jain, Buddhist and Sikh philosophies....

    , and highlighting teams that experience bad luck after running up the score.


Easterbrook also espouses certain football superstitions attributed to a "pantheon" of "football gods" who bestow victory upon the team with the least warmly dressed coach, the most sportsmanlike conduct, the most spirited play, or the most scantily dressed cheerleaders (especially in cold weather); Easterbrook also highlights one particularly attractive cheerleader from an NFL team each week.

Also, the column is known for randomly placed items and rants on various topics on politics, science fiction, actual science, and various television, film, and pop culture items. Photographs and captions accompany the columns which are often designed to be ridiculously humorous metaphors or caricatures of various persons or items mentioned in the column.

"TMQ" team nicknames

Team Nickname(s) Explanation
Arizona Cardinals
Arizona Cardinals
The Arizona Cardinals are a professional American football team based in Glendale, Arizona, a suburb of Phoenix. They are currently members of the Western Division of the National Football Conference in the National Football League...

Arizona of Mexico Cardinals During the 2005 season Arizona played a "home" game
Fútbol Americano
"Fútbol Americano" was the marketing name used for the first-ever National Football League regular season game ever held outside the United States. Played on October 2, 2005 at Estadio Azteca in Mexico City, the Arizona Cardinals defeated the San Francisco 49ers, 31-14...

 in Mexico City
Mexico City
Mexico City is the Federal District , capital of Mexico and seat of the federal powers of the Mexican Union. It is a federal entity within Mexico which is not part of any one of the 31 Mexican states but belongs to the federation as a whole...

, drawing far more spectators than the team typically managed to in Arizona.
Arizona Cactus Wrens The cactus wren is the official state bird of Arizona.
Arizona (CAUTION: MAY CONTAIN FOOTBALL-LIKE SUBSTANCE) Cardinals Also, Arizona is a historically poor performer in the NFL.
Arizona (Contains Powerful Football Substance) Cardinals Arizona's 2008-2009 playoff run prompted a deserved name change.
Atlanta Falcons
Atlanta Falcons
The Atlanta Falcons are a professional American football team based in Atlanta, Georgia. They are a member of the South Division of the National Football Conference in the National Football League...

Atlanta Typos The Atlanta uniforms resemble errant smudges on a printing run.
The Angry Birds In reference to the popular video game of the same name
Angry Birds
Angry Birds is a puzzle video game developed by Finnish computer game developer Rovio Mobile. Inspired primarily by a sketch of stylized wingless birds, the game was first released for Apple's iOS in December 2009...

, the nickname was given in 2011 after the Falcons had the NFC's best record in 2010 only to be blown out in their only playoff game that year by the eventual Super Bowl
Super Bowl XLV
Super Bowl XLV was an American football game between the American Football Conference champion Pittsburgh Steelers and the National Football Conference champion Green Bay Packers to decide the National Football League champion for the 2010 season. The game was held at Cowboys Stadium in...

 champion Green Bay Packers
Green Bay Packers
The Green Bay Packers are an American football team based in Green Bay, Wisconsin. They are members of the North Division of the National Football Conference in the National Football League . The Packers are the current NFL champions...

, hinting that the Falcons are "angry". No mention of the Typos nickname in the post, combined that the all-black uniforms were replaced by the team's 1966
1966 Atlanta Falcons season
The 1966 Atlanta Falcons season was the Falcon's inaugural season.- Offseason :The Falcons attempted to acquire Green Bay Packers running back Jim Taylor. There were tensions in Green Bay because the Packers first round pick, Jim Grabowski would be groomed to take over for Taylor...

 throwback uniform
Throwback uniform
Throwback uniforms and jerseys are one-time or limited-time variations on a sports team's uniforms styled to resemble uniforms from that team's past. They have proven popular in all major pro and college sports in the USA, not only with fans, but with the teams' marketing and merchandising...

 as the team's third uniform
Third jersey
A third jersey or alternate jersey is a sports team's alternate and/or throwback design for the previously established other two jerseys, the home and away outfits. Alternate jerseys are used in all four of the North American major professional sports leagues as well as college sports, semipro...

 in 2009, hinting that the Typos name may have been retired.
Baltimore Ravens
Baltimore Ravens
The Baltimore Ravens are a professional football franchise based in Baltimore, Maryland.The Baltimore Ravens are officially a quasi-expansion franchise, having originated in 1995 with the Cleveland Browns relocation controversy after Art Modell, then owner of the Cleveland Browns, announced his...

The Nevermores Edgar Allan Poe
Edgar Allan Poe
Edgar Allan Poe was an American author, poet, editor and literary critic, considered part of the American Romantic Movement. Best known for his tales of mystery and the macabre, Poe was one of the earliest American practitioners of the short story and is considered the inventor of the detective...

 was a famous resident of Baltimore and his poem "The Raven
The Raven
"The Raven" is a narrative poem by American writer Edgar Allan Poe, first published in January 1845. It is often noted for its musicality, stylized language, and supernatural atmosphere. It tells of a talking raven's mysterious visit to a distraught lover, tracing the man's slow descent into madness...

" was the inspiration for the team's name. The poem is well known for its repeated use of the word "nevermore".
Buffalo Bills
Buffalo Bills
The Buffalo Bills are a professional football team based in Buffalo, New York. They are currently members of the East Division of the American Football Conference in the National Football League...

None Easterbrook currently does not have an official nickname for the Bills. He briefly used the name "Budgies" in 2008, but no longer does. He does make frequent references to the team's Ivy League ties (currently the fact that quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick
Ryan Fitzpatrick
Ryan Joseph Fitzpatrick is an American football quarterback for the Buffalo Bills of the National Football League. He was drafted by the St. Louis Rams in the seventh round of the 2005 NFL Draft. He played college football at Harvard....

 is a Harvard graduate, and previously with GM/Harvard grad Marv Levy
Marv Levy
Marvin Daniel Levy is a former American and Canadian football coach, front office executive and author.He is a former professional football coach, in the CFL as head coach of the Montreal Alouettes , and in the NFL as head coach of the Kansas City Chiefs and the Buffalo Bills , coaching the Bills...

 and coach/Yale grad Dick Jauron
Dick Jauron
Richard Manuel Jauron is the defensive coordinator for the Cleveland Browns of the National Football League. He was the head coach for the Buffalo Bills from 2006 until November 2009. Jauron has previously held head coaching positions with the Chicago Bears and, on an interim basis, with the...

) with upper-class English culture comments. In a 2011 column he called the Bills the "Buffalo Williams," since "Bill" is a common nickname for William.
Chicago Bears
Chicago Bears
The Chicago Bears are a professional American football team based in Chicago, Illinois. They are members of the North Division of the National Football Conference in the National Football League...

Ming Ding Xiong Mandarin for "bears whose outcomes are decided by fate". Their recent successful seasons had several games won on "lucky" plays, or decided by fate.
Cincinnati Bengals
Cincinnati Bengals
The Cincinnati Bengals are a professional football team based in Cincinnati, Ohio. They are members of the AFC's North Division in the National Football League . The Bengals began play in 1968 as an expansion team in the American Football League , and joined the NFL in 1970 in the AFL-NFL...

Cincinnati Tootsie-Rolls The black and orange uniforms resemble a Tootsie Roll
Tootsie Roll
Tootsie Roll is a brand of chewy candy. It is a form of candy that has been manufactured in the United States since 1896. The manufacturer, Tootsie Roll Industries, is based in Chicago, Illinois.It was the first penny candy to be individually wrapped....

 wrapper.
Cincinnati Trick or Treats Black and orange are typically the dominant colors of Halloween decor.
Cleveland Browns
Cleveland Browns
The Cleveland Browns are a professional football team based in Cleveland, Ohio. They are currently members of the North Division of the American Football Conference in the National Football League...

Cleveland Browns (Release 3.0b) Originally nicknamed "Release 2.0" when Cleveland first regained its NFL franchise, the version number was incremented when Romeo Crennel
Romeo Crennel
Romeo Crennel is the former head coach of the Cleveland Browns and current defensive coordinator for the Kansas City Chiefs of the National Football League. Before becoming the head coach of the Browns, Crennel won three Super Bowls in four seasons as the defensive coordinator of the New England...

 became head coach.
(also Cleveland Oranges, Release 3.0b) The Browns also wore all-orange uniforms from time to time, leading to the Oranges nickname, but no longer wear the orange jerseys. The name is also a dig to the fairly drastic reorganizations and retooling of the Cleveland roster over recent years.
Detroit Lions
Detroit Lions
The Detroit Lions are a professional American football team based in Detroit, Michigan. They are members of the North Division of the National Football Conference in the National Football League , and play their home games at Ford Field in Downtown Detroit.Originally based in Portsmouth, Ohio and...

Detroit Peugeots The lion logo resembles the logo of the Peugeot
Peugeot
Peugeot is a major French car brand, part of PSA Peugeot Citroën, the second largest carmaker based in Europe.The family business that precedes the current Peugeot company was founded in 1810, and manufactured coffee mills and bicycles. On 20 November 1858, Emile Peugeot applied for the lion...

 Motor Company, which is ironic because the team is owned by the Ford
Ford Motor Company
Ford Motor Company is an American multinational automaker based in Dearborn, Michigan, a suburb of Detroit. The automaker was founded by Henry Ford and incorporated on June 16, 1903. In addition to the Ford and Lincoln brands, Ford also owns a small stake in Mazda in Japan and Aston Martin in the UK...

 family
Ford family tree
-Henry Ford's family tree:The following is the family tree of Henry Ford, Founder of Ford Motor Company.Paternal Great-Grandfather: William Ford Paternal Great-Grandmother: Rebecca Jennings Ford -Henry Ford's family tree:...

.
The Cowardly Lions A reference to their tendency to punt on fourth downs as opposed to trying to achieve a first down, a move which Easterbrook detests.
Detroit Edsel
Edsel
The Edsel was an automobile manufactured by the Ford Motor Company during the 1958, 1959, and 1960 model years. The Edsel never gained popularity with contemporary American car buyers and sold poorly. Consequently, the Ford Motor Company lost millions of dollars on the Edsel's development,...

s
Referring to Ford's infamous late-1950s automotive flop; an obvious jab at both the Lions' long history of futility and the Ford family ownership.
Denver Broncos
Denver Broncos
The Denver Broncos are a professional American football team based in Denver, Colorado. They are currently members of the West Division of the American Football Conference in the National Football League...

Denver Cursors The Broncos' uniform contains a bright orange stripe, described as a cursor
Cursor (computers)
In computing, a cursor is an indicator used to show the position on a computer monitor or other display device that will respond to input from a text input or pointing device. The flashing text cursor may be referred to as a caret in some cases...

 when viewed on TV. In his November 29, 2011 column, Easterbrook began using "Denver Broncos High School", noting that the offense installed by John Fox to accommodate Tim Tebow
Tim Tebow
Timothy Richard "Tim" Tebow is an American football player who is currently the starting quarterback for the Denver Broncos of the National Football League . He was drafted by the Broncos as the 25th overall pick in the 2010 NFL Draft...

 is popular in American high schools.
Houston Texans
Houston Texans
The Houston Texans are a professional American football team based in Houston, Texas. The team is currently a member of the Southern Division of the American Football Conference in the National Football League...

The Moo Cows The team's logo is essentially a stylized cow.
Indianapolis Colts
Indianapolis Colts
The Indianapolis Colts are a professional American football team based in Indianapolis. They are currently members of the South Division of the American Football Conference in the National Football League ....

The Lucky Charms The horseshoe logo resembles a marshmallow shape from Lucky Charms
Lucky Charms
Lucky Charms is a brand of cereal produced by the General Mills food company of Golden Valley, Minnesota, United States. It first appeared in stores in 1964. The cereal consists of two main components: toasted oat-based pieces and multi-colored marshmallow bits in various shapes, the latter making...

 cereal.
Kansas City Chiefs
Kansas City Chiefs
The Kansas City Chiefs are a professional American football team based in Kansas City, Missouri. They are a member of the Western Division of the American Football Conference in the National Football League . Originally named the Dallas Texans, the club was founded by Lamar Hunt in 1960 as a...

The Flintstones The stone arrowhead logo resembles carved, stone age items seen in the cartoon.
Miami Dolphins
Miami Dolphins
The Miami Dolphins are a Professional football team based in the Miami metropolitan area in Florida. The team is part of the Eastern Division of the American Football Conference in the National Football League...

Marine Mammals Though the Dolphins are often referred to as "the fish", dolphins are actually mammals.
The South Florida Dolphins The Dolphins currently do not play in Miami proper. They play in Sun Life Stadium in Miami Gardens, 15 miles north of downtown.
Minnesota Vikings
Minnesota Vikings
The Minnesota Vikings are a professional American football team based in Minneapolis, Minnesota. The Vikings joined the National Football League as an expansion team in 1960...

Hyperboreans The Hyperboreans were a mythical barbaric people in Greek mythology. Today the term can be used for any people who live in a cold climate, as the Vikings did.
New England Patriots
New England Patriots
The New England Patriots, commonly called the "Pats", are a professional football team based in the Greater Boston area, playing their home games in the town of Foxborough, Massachusetts at Gillette Stadium. The team is part of the East Division of the American Football Conference in the National...

Flying Elvii The team logo resembles an airborne Elvis Presley
Elvis Presley
Elvis Aaron Presley was one of the most popular American singers of the 20th century. A cultural icon, he is widely known by the single name Elvis. He is often referred to as the "King of Rock and Roll" or simply "the King"....

, and Easterbrook reasons that Elvii is the plural of Elvis. The team itself has admitted that the logo is modeled after Presley.
New Orleans Saints
New Orleans Saints
The New Orleans Saints are a professional American football team based in New Orleans, Louisiana. They are members of the South Division of the National Football Conference of the National Football League ....

United States Saints Following Hurricane Katrina
Hurricane Katrina
Hurricane Katrina of the 2005 Atlantic hurricane season was a powerful Atlantic hurricane. It is the costliest natural disaster, as well as one of the five deadliest hurricanes, in the history of the United States. Among recorded Atlantic hurricanes, it was the sixth strongest overall...

 the Saints were without a home field for an entire season
Effect of Hurricane Katrina on the New Orleans Saints
After Hurricane Katrina devastated the city of New Orleans on August 29, 2005 and caused extensive damage to the Louisiana Superdome, the New Orleans Saints were not able to play any home games there for the entire 2005 NFL season...

, and were adopted by the rest of the country.
The Boy Scouts The fleur-de-lis
Fleur-de-lis
The fleur-de-lis or fleur-de-lys is a stylized lily or iris that is used as a decorative design or symbol. It may be "at one and the same time, political, dynastic, artistic, emblematic, and symbolic", especially in heraldry...

 logo used by the Saints is similar to the logo of the Boy Scouts of America
Boy Scouts of America
The Boy Scouts of America is one of the largest youth organizations in the United States, with over 4.5 million youth members in its age-related divisions...

.

Easterbrook also frequently refers to Saints defensive coordinator Gregg Williams
Gregg Williams
Gregg Williams is the defensive coordinator of the New Orleans Saints and the former head coach of the Buffalo Bills. Considered one of the most respected defensive minds in the game, Williams is known for running aggressive, attacking 4-3 schemes that put heavy pressure on opposing...

 as being "tastefully named," due to the two sharing the first name of Gregg.
New York Giants
New York Giants
The New York Giants are a professional American football team based in East Rutherford, New Jersey, representing the New York City metropolitan area. The Giants are currently members of the Eastern Division of the National Football Conference in the National Football League...

Jersey/A The Giants actually play in New Jersey. MetLife Stadium (originally New Meadowlands Stadium) is located in East Rutherford, NJ, next to the team's now-demolished former venue, Giants Stadium
Giants Stadium
Giants Stadium was a multi-purpose stadium, located in East Rutherford, New Jersey, USA, in the Meadowlands Sports Complex. Maximum seating capacity was 80,242. The building itself was 230.5 m long, 180.5 m wide and 44 m high from service level to the top of the seating bowl and 54 m high to...

. The "A" likely refers to the fact that the Giants were the first of the two New York teams to move to New Jersey (in 1976, as opposed to the Jets, who did not move until 1984) and also were sole owners of Giants Stadium, with the Jets as their tenants (both teams jointly own the new stadium). As for the stadium, Easterbrook began calling it "Snoopy
Snoopy
Snoopy is an fictional character in the long-running comic strip Peanuts, by Charles M. Schulz. He is Charlie Brown's pet beagle. Snoopy began his life in the strip as a fairly conventional dog, but eventually evolved into perhaps the strip's most dynamic character—and among the most recognizable...

 Stadium" in his October 12, 2011 column, referring to the character's use as MetLife's advertising mascot.
The G-Persons The Giants are commonly referred to as the G-Men. Because some of the people in the Giants organization are women as well, G-Persons is more politically correct.
New York Jets
New York Jets
The New York Jets are a professional football team headquartered in Florham Park, New Jersey, representing the New York metropolitan area. The team is a member of the Eastern Division of the American Football Conference in the National Football League...

Jersey/B The Jets play in New Jersey as well; as noted above, they were tenants of the Giants from 1984 through 2009, before the opening of MetLife Stadium. When the Jets played at home in Giants Stadium, announcers referred to the venue as The Meadowlands, in reference to the Meadowlands sports complex in which the stadium is located.
Oakland Raiders
Oakland Raiders
The Oakland Raiders are a professional American football team based in Oakland, California. They currently play in the Western Division of the American Football Conference in the National Football League...

Oakland Long Johns After the pirate of that name
Long John Silver
Long John Silver is a fictional character and the primary antagonist of the novel Treasure Island, by Robert Louis Stevenson. Silver is also known by the nicknames "Barbecue" and the "Sea-Cook".- Profile :...

.
Philadelphia Eagles
Philadelphia Eagles
The Philadelphia Eagles are a professional American football team based in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. They are members of the East Division of the National Football Conference in the National Football League...

The Nesharim Philadelphia has the sole logo that faces right to left and "nesharim" means "eagles" in Hebrew, which is also read right to left.
The Heat Easterbrook decided to give the Nesharim nickname a break for 2011 after the team signed several Pro Bowl
Pro Bowl
In professional American football, the Pro Bowl is the all-star game of the National Football League . Since the merger with the rival American Football League in 1970, it has been officially called the AFC–NFC Pro Bowl, matching the top players in the American Football Conference against those...

-caliber players after the end of the 2011 NFL lockout
2011 NFL lockout
The 2011 National Football League lockout was a lockout that lasted from March 11 to July 25. It occurred primarily during the offseason for 18 weeks and 4 days...

. The name is in reference to the Miami Heat
Miami Heat
The Miami Heat is a professional basketball team based in Miami, Florida, United States. The team is a member of the Southeast Division in the Eastern Conference of the National Basketball Association . They play their home games at American Airlines Arena in Downtown Miami...

 of the NBA
National Basketball Association
The National Basketball Association is the pre-eminent men's professional basketball league in North America. It consists of thirty franchised member clubs, of which twenty-nine are located in the United States and one in Canada...

, which the previous year made its own rash of free agent signings.
Pittsburgh Steelers
Pittsburgh Steelers
The Pittsburgh Steelers are a professional football team based in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. The team currently belongs to the North Division of the American Football Conference in the National Football League . Founded in , the Steelers are the oldest franchise in the AFC...

The Hypocycloids The team logo features three hypocycloid
Hypocycloid
In geometry, a hypocycloid is a special plane curve generated by the trace of a fixed point on a small circle that rolls within a larger circle...

s.
San Diego Chargers
San Diego Chargers
The San Diego Chargers are a professional American football team based in San Diego, California. they were members of the Western Division of the American Football Conference in the National Football League...

Bolts The San Diego logo resembles a bolt of lightning.
San Francisco 49ers
San Francisco 49ers
The San Francisco 49ers are a professional American football team based in San Francisco, California, playing in the West Division of the National Football Conference in the National Football League . The team was founded in 1946 as a charter member of the All-America Football Conference and...

Squared Sevens Seven is the square root of 49. From the 2011-2012 season Coach Jim Harbaugh also gained a nickname as Harbaugh/West in reference to his brother (mentioned as Harbaugh-East in the August 23 column) coaching the Baltimore Ravens.
Seattle Seahawks
Seattle Seahawks
The Seattle Seahawks are a professional American football team based in Seattle, Washington. They are currently members of the Western Division of the National Football Conference in the National Football League . The team joined the NFL in 1976 as an expansion team...

Blue Men Group The Seahawks wear entirely blue uniforms. By contrast, most teams wear uniforms whose pants and jerseys are different colors. The name is a reference to the Blue Man Group
Blue Man Group
Blue Man Group is an organization founded by Chris Wink, Matt Goldman and Phil Stanton. The organization produces theatrical shows and concerts featuring popular music, comedy and multimedia; recorded music and scores for film and television; television appearances for shows such as The Tonight...

, whose performers wear black clothes but cover all exposed skin with blue.
Green Men Group The alternate nickname always appears when they wear their green alternate uniform, though the nickname has made several appearances in the 2009 season even when they wear other uniforms.
St. Louis Rams
St. Louis Rams
The St. Louis Rams are a professional American football team based in St. Louis, Missouri. They are currently members of the West Division of the National Football Conference in the National Football League . The Rams have won three NFL Championships .The Rams began playing in 1936 in Cleveland,...

Les Mouflons A mouflon
Mouflon
The mouflon is a subspecies group of the wild sheep Ovis aries. Populations of Ovis aries can be partitioned into the mouflons and urials or arkars...

 is a type of sheep whose curved horns are often mistakenly used as a depiction of ram horns. Dubbed after a series of what Easterbrook considered poorly played games by St. Louis.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Tampa Bay Buccaneers
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers are a professional American football franchise based in Tampa, Florida, U.S. They are currently members of the Southern Division of the National Football Conference in the National Football League – they are the only team in the division not to come from the old NFC West...

City of Tampa Buccaneers The team actually plays in the City of Tampa, Tampa Bay being a body of water.
Tennessee Titans
Tennessee Titans
The Tennessee Titans are a professional American football team based in Nashville, Tennessee, United States. They are members of the South Division of the American Football Conference in the National Football League . Previously known as the Houston Oilers, the team began play in 1960 as a charter...

Flaming Thumbtacks The team logo bears an uncanny resemblance to a thumbtack with a flame on the top. This nickname was first used by a reader of the original TMQ column with the username of Rib Eye. This user has since been revealed to be former Washington Post staffer C. Woodrow Irvin.
Washington Redskins
Washington Redskins
The Washington Redskins are a professional American football team and members of the East Division of the National Football Conference in the National Football League . The team plays at FedExField in Landover, Maryland, while its headquarters and training facility are at Redskin Park in Ashburn,...

Potomac Drainage Basin Indigenous Persons The Redskins are headquartered in Ashburn, Virginia
Ashburn, Virginia
Ashburn, Virginia is a census-designated place located in Loudoun County, Virginia, northwest of Washington, D.C., and is part of the Washington Metropolitan Area...

 and play in Landover, Maryland
Landover, Maryland
Landover is an unincorporated community in Prince George's County, Maryland, United States, within the census-designated place of Greater Landover. The Prince Georges County Sports and Learning Complex is in Landover...

, but have no facilities in the nation's capital itself. Indigenous Persons was used to avoid the more controversial Redskins. Easterbrook's original nickname made reference to the Chesapeake Bay
Chesapeake Bay
The Chesapeake Bay is the largest estuary in the United States. It lies off the Atlantic Ocean, surrounded by Maryland and Virginia. The Chesapeake Bay's drainage basin covers in the District of Columbia and parts of six states: New York, Pennsylvania, Delaware, Maryland, Virginia, and West...

, but later changed to the more accurate Potomac River
Potomac River
The Potomac River flows into the Chesapeake Bay, located along the mid-Atlantic coast of the United States. The river is approximately long, with a drainage area of about 14,700 square miles...

 since the Chesapeake Bay area also covered the Baltimore Ravens
Baltimore Ravens
The Baltimore Ravens are a professional football franchise based in Baltimore, Maryland.The Baltimore Ravens are officially a quasi-expansion franchise, having originated in 1995 with the Cleveland Browns relocation controversy after Art Modell, then owner of the Cleveland Browns, announced his...

, with its watershed going all the way up to New York
New York
New York is a state in the Northeastern region of the United States. It is the nation's third most populous state. New York is bordered by New Jersey and Pennsylvania to the south, and by Connecticut, Massachusetts and Vermont to the east...

 state.
(also Washington Nanticokes) The Nanticoke are the tribe indigenous to the area. Easterbrook briefly switched back to calling the team the Washington Redskins out of respect for Joe Gibbs when he initially came back, but after the poorly-played 2004 season, he switched back to the other names.

Tuesday Morning Quarterback Non-QB Non-RB NFL MVP award

According to Easterbrook, the "longest [named] award in sports". This is the top award in a series of awards he publishes at the end of each season, known as the "All-Unwanted All-Pros." These awards were created due to Easterbrook's view that the awards and Pro Bowl
Pro Bowl
In professional American football, the Pro Bowl is the all-star game of the National Football League . Since the merger with the rival American Football League in 1970, it has been officially called the AFC–NFC Pro Bowl, matching the top players in the American Football Conference against those...

 selection of various sports media outlets and the NFL tended to unfairly reward what he considered "glory boy" positions, such as quarterbacks, running backs, and wide receivers, as well as players who tended to be more well known due to higher press coverage as opposed to actual quality of play. (New England Patriots
New England Patriots
The New England Patriots, commonly called the "Pats", are a professional football team based in the Greater Boston area, playing their home games in the town of Foxborough, Massachusetts at Gillette Stadium. The team is part of the East Division of the American Football Conference in the National...

 wideout Troy Brown
Troy Brown
Troy Fitzgerald Brown is a former NFL wide receiver, cornerback and punt returner in the National Football League. He was drafted by the New England Patriots in the eighth round of the 1993 NFL Draft. He played college football at Marshall...

, who won the award in 2004
2004 NFL season
The 2004 NFL season was the 85th regular season of the National Football League.With the New England Patriots as the defending league champions, regular season play was held from September 9, 2004 to January 2, 2005...

 despite primarily being a wide receiver
Wide receiver
A wide receiver is an offensive position in American and Canadian football, and is the key player in most of the passing plays. Only players in the backfield or the ends on the line are eligible to catch a forward pass. The two players who begin play at the ends of the offensive line are eligible...

, was considered an exception since he also played cornerback
Cornerback
A cornerback is a member of the defensive backfield or secondary in American and Canadian football. Cornerbacks cover receivers, to defend against pass offenses and make tackles. Other members of the defensive backfield include the safeties and occasionally linebackers. The cornerback position...

 that season after the Patriots had a rash of injuries at the position during the season.) Easterbrook also was protesting the lack of attention given to offensive or defensive linemen whom he considers the most important positions in football. Criteria tend to vary from year to year but generally includes players who either were undrafted or cut from previous teams, but otherwise managed to play important or pivotal roles with their current teams over the course of the season, and also have to be on a playoff team even to be considered. Except for Brown, Pittsburgh Steelers
Pittsburgh Steelers
The Pittsburgh Steelers are a professional football team based in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. The team currently belongs to the North Division of the American Football Conference in the National Football League . Founded in , the Steelers are the oldest franchise in the AFC...

 linebacker
Linebacker
A linebacker is a position in American football that was invented by football coach Fielding H. Yost of the University of Michigan. Linebackers are members of the defensive team, and line up approximately three to five yards behind the line of scrimmage, behind the defensive linemen...

 James Harrison (who won in 2008
2008 NFL season
The 2008 NFL season was the 89th regular season of the National Football League, themed with the slogan "Believe in Now."Super Bowl XLIII, the league's championship game, was at Raymond James Stadium in Tampa, Florida on February 1, 2009, with the Pittsburgh Steelers coming out victorious over the...

), and Dallas Clark, all winners have been offensive linemen.
Year Winner Team Position
Alan Faneca
Alan Faneca
Alan Joseph Faneca, Jr. is a former American football guard in the National Football League. He was drafted by the Pittsburgh Steelers 26th overall in the 1998 NFL Draft and played college football for Louisiana State....

Pittsburgh Steelers
Pittsburgh Steelers
The Pittsburgh Steelers are a professional football team based in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. The team currently belongs to the North Division of the American Football Conference in the National Football League . Founded in , the Steelers are the oldest franchise in the AFC...

Guard
Guard (American football)
In American and Canadian football, a guard is a player that lines up between the center and the tackles on the offensive line of a football team....

Lincoln Kennedy
Lincoln Kennedy
Tamerlane Lincoln Kennedy Jr. is a former American football offensive tackle and currently is a broadcaster for Fox Sports and Premiere Radio Networks.-High school career:...

Oakland Raiders
Oakland Raiders
The Oakland Raiders are a professional American football team based in Oakland, California. They currently play in the Western Division of the American Football Conference in the National Football League...

Offensive tackle
Damien Woody
Damien Woody
Damien Michael Woody is a former American football offensive lineman who played for the New England Patriots, Detroit Lions and New York Jets of the National Football League...

New England Patriots
New England Patriots
The New England Patriots, commonly called the "Pats", are a professional football team based in the Greater Boston area, playing their home games in the town of Foxborough, Massachusetts at Gillette Stadium. The team is part of the East Division of the American Football Conference in the National...

Guard
Guard (American football)
In American and Canadian football, a guard is a player that lines up between the center and the tackles on the offensive line of a football team....

Troy Brown
Troy Brown
Troy Fitzgerald Brown is a former NFL wide receiver, cornerback and punt returner in the National Football League. He was drafted by the New England Patriots in the eighth round of the 1993 NFL Draft. He played college football at Marshall...

New England Patriots
New England Patriots
The New England Patriots, commonly called the "Pats", are a professional football team based in the Greater Boston area, playing their home games in the town of Foxborough, Massachusetts at Gillette Stadium. The team is part of the East Division of the American Football Conference in the National...

Wide receiver
Wide receiver
A wide receiver is an offensive position in American and Canadian football, and is the key player in most of the passing plays. Only players in the backfield or the ends on the line are eligible to catch a forward pass. The two players who begin play at the ends of the offensive line are eligible...

/cornerback
Cornerback
A cornerback is a member of the defensive backfield or secondary in American and Canadian football. Cornerbacks cover receivers, to defend against pass offenses and make tackles. Other members of the defensive backfield include the safeties and occasionally linebackers. The cornerback position...

Walter Jones Seattle Seahawks
Seattle Seahawks
The Seattle Seahawks are a professional American football team based in Seattle, Washington. They are currently members of the Western Division of the National Football Conference in the National Football League . The team joined the NFL in 1976 as an expansion team...

Offensive tackle
Jeff Saturday
Jeff Saturday
Jeffrey Bryant Saturday is an American football center for the Indianapolis Colts of the National Football League. He played college football at North Carolina. He is also a member of the Executive Committee of the National Football League Players' Association.-Early years:Saturday attended...

Indianapolis Colts
Indianapolis Colts
The Indianapolis Colts are a professional American football team based in Indianapolis. They are currently members of the South Division of the American Football Conference in the National Football League ....

Center
Center (American football)
Center is a position in American football and Canadian football . The center is the innermost lineman of the offensive line on a football team's offense...

Matt Light
Matt Light
Matthew Charles Light is an American football offensive tackle for the New England Patriots of the National Football League . He was drafted by the Patriots in the second round of the 2001 NFL Draft. He played college football at Purdue.-Early years:Light was born in Greenville, Ohio...

New England Patriots
New England Patriots
The New England Patriots, commonly called the "Pats", are a professional football team based in the Greater Boston area, playing their home games in the town of Foxborough, Massachusetts at Gillette Stadium. The team is part of the East Division of the American Football Conference in the National...

Offensive tackle
James Harrison Pittsburgh Steelers
Pittsburgh Steelers
The Pittsburgh Steelers are a professional football team based in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. The team currently belongs to the North Division of the American Football Conference in the National Football League . Founded in , the Steelers are the oldest franchise in the AFC...

Linebacker
Linebacker
A linebacker is a position in American football that was invented by football coach Fielding H. Yost of the University of Michigan. Linebackers are members of the defensive team, and line up approximately three to five yards behind the line of scrimmage, behind the defensive linemen...

Dallas Clark
Dallas Clark
Dallas Dean Clark is an American football tight end for the Indianapolis Colts of the National Football League. He was drafted by the Colts 24th overall in the 2003 NFL Draft. He played college football at the University of Iowa...

Indianapolis Colts
Indianapolis Colts
The Indianapolis Colts are a professional American football team based in Indianapolis. They are currently members of the South Division of the American Football Conference in the National Football League ....

Tight end
Tight end
The tight end is a position in American football on the offense. The tight end is often seen as a hybrid position with the characteristics and roles of both an offensive lineman and a wide receiver. Like offensive linemen, they are usually lined up on the offensive line and are large enough to be...

Dan Koppen
Dan Koppen
Daniel Koppen is an American football center for the New England Patriots of the National Football League . He was drafted in the fifth round of the 2003 NFL Draft...

New England Patriots
New England Patriots
The New England Patriots, commonly called the "Pats", are a professional football team based in the Greater Boston area, playing their home games in the town of Foxborough, Massachusetts at Gillette Stadium. The team is part of the East Division of the American Football Conference in the National...

Center
Center (American football)
Center is a position in American football and Canadian football . The center is the innermost lineman of the offensive line on a football team's offense...


Kill Bill controversy

ESPN fired Easterbrook after comments he made about the film Kill Bill were published. After he delivered his apology, he resumed the "Tuesday Morning Quarterback" column, temporarily for two weeks on the independent website Football Outsiders
Football Outsiders
Football Outsiders is a website started in July 2003 which focuses on advanced statistical analysis of the NFL. The site is run by a staff of regular writers, who produce a series of weekly columns using both the site's in-house statistics and their personal analyses of NFL games.In 2005 and 2006,...

, and then more permanently for NFL.com. During his stint on NFL.com, Easterbrook was also an analyst for the then-fledging NFL Network
NFL Network
NFL Network is an American television specialty channel owned and operated by the National Football League . It was launched November 4, 2003, only eight months after the league's 32 team owners voted unanimously to approve its formation...

.

On April 24, 2006, it was announced that Easterbrook would be brought back to ESPN's website after a two-year absence. His return column, a preview of the 2006 NFL Draft
2006 NFL Draft
The 2006 National Football League Draft, the 71st in league history, took place in New York City at Radio City Music Hall on April 29 and April 30, 2006. For the 27th consecutive year, the draft was telecast on ESPN and ESPN2, with additional coverage offered by ESPNU and, for the first time, by...

, appeared the following day.

Spygate

Easterbook's column has been highly critical of Bill Belichick
Bill Belichick
William Stephen "Bill" Belichick is an American football head coach for the New England Patriots of the National Football League. After spending his first 15 seasons in the league as an assistant coach, Belichick got his first head coaching job with the Cleveland Browns in 1991...

 with relation to the "Spygate" controversy, calling for Belichick's suspension
Suspension (punishment)
Suspension is a form of punishment that people receive for violating rules and regulations.- Workplace :Suspension is a common practice in the workplace for being in violation of an organization's policy...

 from the league. Easterbrook’s most controversial article was "Suspending Belichick will bring closure to Spygate".

Easterbrook's response to Spygate was criticized by his fellow "Page Two" columnist (and self-professed Patriots fan) Bill Simmons
Bill Simmons
William J. "Bill" Simmons III is a sports columnist, author, and podcaster. He currently writes columns and hosts podcasts for Grantland.com, which is affiliated with ESPN.com. He is a former writer for ESPN The Magazine and Jimmy Kimmel Live!...

. "If you have a national column in which you're excoriating a sports team for cheating even though it already paid a severe penalty for what it did, and you're hinting more revelations are coming down the road, and then it's proven you were barking up the wrong tree ... you need to admit defeat and quit blowing the situation out of proportion. No, really."
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