Pissing contest
Encyclopedia
A pissing contest, or pissing match, is a game in which participants compete to see who can urinate the highest, the farthest, or the most accurately. Although the practice is often associated with adolescent boys, women have been known to play the game, and there are literary depictions of adults competing in it. Since the 1940s the term has been used as a slang
idiom
atic phrase describing contests that are "futile or purposeless", especially if waged in a "conspicuously aggressive manner". As a metaphor
it is used figurative
ly to characterise ego
-driven battling in a pejorative
or facetious manner that is often considered vulgar. The image of two people urinating on each other has also been offered as a source of the phrase.
(OED) defines a pissing contest as "a competition to see who can urinate the farthest or highest" and (in extended use) as "any contest which is futile or purposeless especially ones pursued in a conspicuously aggressive manner." The first cited use of the phrase comes from a 1943 Study and Investigation of Federal Communications Committee hearing before the U.S. House Select Committee to Investigate F.C.C. where a politician was quoted as saying: "You boys have to understand .. that I have to deal with a combination like that of Hartley-David; it is like having a pissing contest with a skunk." The OED's first citation of pissing match is from a December 1971 Washington Post story that says
"One Western diplomat ... discounting the significance of the Sino-Soviet arguments ... described it as 'a pissing match, and I'm glad not to be caught in the crossfire.
Urban Dictionary
's crowdsourced definition describes the term as being used figuratively "to refer to a meaningless though nonetheless entertaining act in which people try to outdo one another in any way." Comments found there also describe pissing contests as literal competition "in which two or more people, usually (but not exclusively) male, urinate with the intention of producing the stream with the greatest distance." The New Partridge Dictionary of Slang and Unconventional English separates its definition of "pissing match" (a conflict involving "unpleasantries") from "pissing contest" (a conflict with negative attacks made by both sides). For "pissing contest" it offers a different image from other reference works: "From the graphic if vulgar image of two men urinating on each other". Both phrases are said to originate in the United States.
, in her book Serves Me Right describes a female pissing contest that she witnessed in Spain. This was a "distance" contest like the usual male ones.
Havelock Ellis
, in his book Psychology of Sex describes a female pissing contest in Belgium. This was an "accuracy" contest in which women stood in a circle and attempted to urinate into a bottle, placed in the centre of the circle. Women can, once they have learned the right technique, urinate standing. A comic song from 17th-century Belgium is about a similar contest, aiming into a shoe, between three women seeking to impress a man.
There is also some Irish folklore about female pissing contests. In the story Tochmarc Emire
several women compete to see who can urinate deepest into a pile of snow. The winner is Derbforgaill, wife of Lugaid Riab nDerg
, but the other women attack her out of jealousy and mutilate her by gouging out her eyes and cutting off her nose, ears, and hair, resulting in her death. Her husband Lugaid also dies, from grief, and Cúchulainn avenges the deaths by demolishing a house with the women inside, killing 150.
's The Secret Life of Lobsters describes a pissing match between lobster
s:
that he wouldn't "get into a pissing contest with that skunk." Eisenhower's secretary of state, John Foster Dulles
, used the same phrase in 1958 when asked why he had not responded to a statement by the French foreign minister that the French government had not been consulted about a crisis in Lebanon.
The dispute between Carl Icahn
and Yahoo was described as pissing contest. A review of American novelist John Barth
's work described it as "resolutely postmodern" in approach and criticised it with a statement that: "Prolonged exposure to this particular 'pissing contest' just left me wanting to tell Barth to parse off". Steven Pinker
's The Stuff of thought: language as a window to human nature credits the "wordsmith
s who thought up the indispensable pissing contest" and other crass phrases such as crock of shit, pussy-whipped, and horse's ass.
The Hippie Dictionary, a fringe counterculture
publication, described the arms race
between the U.S. and the U.S.S.R. as a pissing contest in which each country developed bigger and more powerful weapons until "each super power" could obliterate the other multiple times over as well along with the rest of the world" and that "the term super power did not refer to intelligence".
included a pissing contest as part of the duncely games in Book 2 of The Dunciad
(1728), with the winner awarded the female poet Martha Blount
and a china chamber pot
.
A literal pissing contest and territorial marking is also depicted in Carroll Ballard
's 1983 adaptation of Farley Mowat
's autobiographical novel Never Cry Wolf. In the movie Wolf there is a pissing contest between two competitors. During a figurative pissing contest with a sleazy rival, Jack Nicholson
's character confronts him in a bathroom, shows him he has just taken his job, fires him, and then pees on his shoes saying, "I'm just marking my territory, and you got in the way". The competitor, played by James Spader
, notes that he has "suede
shoes" to which Nicholson replies "asparagus".
Director Steven Sebring
's Patti Smith: Dream of Life
(2008) captures Patti Smith
in a "playful" pissing contest with Flea
.
The Friars Club Encyclopedia of Jokes includes a story about a husband and wife who compete in a pissing contest.
Slang
Slang is the use of informal words and expressions that are not considered standard in the speaker's language or dialect but are considered more acceptable when used socially. Slang is often to be found in areas of the lexicon that refer to things considered taboo...
idiom
Idiom
Idiom is an expression, word, or phrase that has a figurative meaning that is comprehended in regard to a common use of that expression that is separate from the literal meaning or definition of the words of which it is made...
atic phrase describing contests that are "futile or purposeless", especially if waged in a "conspicuously aggressive manner". As a metaphor
Metaphor
A metaphor is a literary figure of speech that uses an image, story or tangible thing to represent a less tangible thing or some intangible quality or idea; e.g., "Her eyes were glistening jewels." Metaphor may also be used for any rhetorical figures of speech that achieve their effects via...
it is used figurative
Figurative
Figurative may refer to:*Figurative art*Figurative language*Neo-figurative art...
ly to characterise ego
Id, ego, and super-ego
Id, ego and super-ego are the three parts of the psychic apparatus defined in Sigmund Freud's structural model of the psyche; they are the three theoretical constructs in terms of whose activity and interaction mental life is described...
-driven battling in a pejorative
Pejorative
Pejoratives , including name slurs, are words or grammatical forms that connote negativity and express contempt or distaste. A term can be regarded as pejorative in some social groups but not in others, e.g., hacker is a term used for computer criminals as well as quick and clever computer experts...
or facetious manner that is often considered vulgar. The image of two people urinating on each other has also been offered as a source of the phrase.
Etymology
The Oxford English DictionaryOxford English Dictionary
The Oxford English Dictionary , published by the Oxford University Press, is the self-styled premier dictionary of the English language. Two fully bound print editions of the OED have been published under its current name, in 1928 and 1989. The first edition was published in twelve volumes , and...
(OED) defines a pissing contest as "a competition to see who can urinate the farthest or highest" and (in extended use) as "any contest which is futile or purposeless especially ones pursued in a conspicuously aggressive manner." The first cited use of the phrase comes from a 1943 Study and Investigation of Federal Communications Committee hearing before the U.S. House Select Committee to Investigate F.C.C. where a politician was quoted as saying: "You boys have to understand .. that I have to deal with a combination like that of Hartley-David; it is like having a pissing contest with a skunk." The OED's first citation of pissing match is from a December 1971 Washington Post story that says
"One Western diplomat ... discounting the significance of the Sino-Soviet arguments ... described it as 'a pissing match, and I'm glad not to be caught in the crossfire.
Urban Dictionary
Urban Dictionary
Urban Dictionary is a Web-based dictionary of slang words and phrases, which contained over 6 million definitions . Submissions are regulated by volunteer editors and rated by site visitors...
's crowdsourced definition describes the term as being used figuratively "to refer to a meaningless though nonetheless entertaining act in which people try to outdo one another in any way." Comments found there also describe pissing contests as literal competition "in which two or more people, usually (but not exclusively) male, urinate with the intention of producing the stream with the greatest distance." The New Partridge Dictionary of Slang and Unconventional English separates its definition of "pissing match" (a conflict involving "unpleasantries") from "pissing contest" (a conflict with negative attacks made by both sides). For "pissing contest" it offers a different image from other reference works: "From the graphic if vulgar image of two men urinating on each other". Both phrases are said to originate in the United States.
Among females
Pissing contests usually, but not always, take place between males. Sarah MilesSarah Miles
-Early life and career:Sarah Miles was born in the small town of Ingatestone, Essex, in South East England.She first attended Roedean but at the age of 15 she enrolled at RADA, the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art...
, in her book Serves Me Right describes a female pissing contest that she witnessed in Spain. This was a "distance" contest like the usual male ones.
Havelock Ellis
Havelock Ellis
Henry Havelock Ellis, known as Havelock Ellis , was a British physician and psychologist, writer, and social reformer who studied human sexuality. He was co-author of the first medical textbook in English on homosexuality in 1897, and also published works on a variety of sexual practices and...
, in his book Psychology of Sex describes a female pissing contest in Belgium. This was an "accuracy" contest in which women stood in a circle and attempted to urinate into a bottle, placed in the centre of the circle. Women can, once they have learned the right technique, urinate standing. A comic song from 17th-century Belgium is about a similar contest, aiming into a shoe, between three women seeking to impress a man.
There is also some Irish folklore about female pissing contests. In the story Tochmarc Emire
Tochmarc Emire
Tochmarc Emire is one of the stories in the Ulster Cycle of Irish mythology and one of the longest when it received its form in the second recension . It concerns the efforts of the hero Cú Chulainn to marry Emer, who appears as his wife in other stories of the cycle, and his training in arms...
several women compete to see who can urinate deepest into a pile of snow. The winner is Derbforgaill, wife of Lugaid Riab nDerg
Lugaid Riab nDerg
Lugaid Riab nDerg or Réoderg , son of the three findemna, triplet sons of Eochu Feidlech, was, according to medieval Irish legend and historical tradition, a High King of Ireland.-Conception:...
, but the other women attack her out of jealousy and mutilate her by gouging out her eyes and cutting off her nose, ears, and hair, resulting in her death. Her husband Lugaid also dies, from grief, and Cúchulainn avenges the deaths by demolishing a house with the women inside, killing 150.
In the animal kingdom
Pissing contests are not unique to humans. Trevor CorsonTrevor Corson
Trevor Corson is a writer, and author of the books The Secret Life of Lobsters and The Story of Sushi.Prior to becoming a writer, Corson spent two years studying philosophy in China, three years in Japan living in temples and studying Buddhism, and two years working as a commercial lobsterman off...
's The Secret Life of Lobsters describes a pissing match between lobster
Lobster
Clawed lobsters comprise a family of large marine crustaceans. Highly prized as seafood, lobsters are economically important, and are often one of the most profitable commodities in coastal areas they populate.Though several groups of crustaceans are known as lobsters, the clawed lobsters are most...
s:
Metaphorical phrase
Dwight Eisenhower is reported to have said of Senator Joseph McCarthyJoseph McCarthy
Joseph Raymond "Joe" McCarthy was an American politician who served as a Republican U.S. Senator from the state of Wisconsin from 1947 until his death in 1957...
that he wouldn't "get into a pissing contest with that skunk." Eisenhower's secretary of state, John Foster Dulles
John Foster Dulles
John Foster Dulles served as U.S. Secretary of State under President Dwight D. Eisenhower from 1953 to 1959. He was a significant figure in the early Cold War era, advocating an aggressive stance against communism throughout the world...
, used the same phrase in 1958 when asked why he had not responded to a statement by the French foreign minister that the French government had not been consulted about a crisis in Lebanon.
The dispute between Carl Icahn
Carl Icahn
Carl Celian Icahn is an American business magnate and investor.-Biography:Icahn was raised in Far Rockaway, Queens, New York City, where he attended Far Rockaway High School. His father was a cantor, his mother was a schoolteacher...
and Yahoo was described as pissing contest. A review of American novelist John Barth
John Barth
John Simmons Barth is an American novelist and short-story writer, known for the postmodernist and metafictive quality of his work.-Life:...
's work described it as "resolutely postmodern" in approach and criticised it with a statement that: "Prolonged exposure to this particular 'pissing contest' just left me wanting to tell Barth to parse off". Steven Pinker
Steven Pinker
Steven Arthur Pinker is a Canadian-American experimental psychologist, cognitive scientist, linguist and popular science author...
's The Stuff of thought: language as a window to human nature credits the "wordsmith
WordSmith
WordSmith Tools is a collection of corpus linguistics tools for looking for patterns in a language. The software was devised by Mike Scott at the University of Liverpool and for versions 1 to 4 was sold by Oxford University Press...
s who thought up the indispensable pissing contest" and other crass phrases such as crock of shit, pussy-whipped, and horse's ass.
The Hippie Dictionary, a fringe counterculture
Counterculture
Counterculture is a sociological term used to describe the values and norms of behavior of a cultural group, or subculture, that run counter to those of the social mainstream of the day, the cultural equivalent of political opposition. Counterculture can also be described as a group whose behavior...
publication, described the arms race
Arms race
The term arms race, in its original usage, describes a competition between two or more parties for the best armed forces. Each party competes to produce larger numbers of weapons, greater armies, or superior military technology in a technological escalation...
between the U.S. and the U.S.S.R. as a pissing contest in which each country developed bigger and more powerful weapons until "each super power" could obliterate the other multiple times over as well along with the rest of the world" and that "the term super power did not refer to intelligence".
In popular culture
Alexander PopeAlexander Pope
Alexander Pope was an 18th-century English poet, best known for his satirical verse and for his translation of Homer. He is the third-most frequently quoted writer in The Oxford Dictionary of Quotations, after Shakespeare and Tennyson...
included a pissing contest as part of the duncely games in Book 2 of The Dunciad
The Dunciad
The Dunciad is a landmark literary satire by Alexander Pope published in three different versions at different times. The first version was published in 1728 anonymously. The second version, the Dunciad Variorum was published anonymously in 1729. The New Dunciad, in four books and with a...
(1728), with the winner awarded the female poet Martha Blount
Martha Blount
Martha Blount was an English woman, a friend of many English literary figures, especially Alexander Pope.-Life:Martha was born 15 June 1690 probably at the family seat, Mapledurham, near Reading. She was educated first at Hammersmith, London, probably at the Roman Catholic convent there, and...
and a china chamber pot
Chamber pot
A chamber pot is a bowl-shaped container with a handle, and often a lid, kept in the bedroom under a bed or in the cabinet of a nightstand and...
.
A literal pissing contest and territorial marking is also depicted in Carroll Ballard
Carroll Ballard
-Biography:Carroll Ballard started out making documentaries for the U.S. Information Agency, Beyond This Winter's Wheat and Harvest ; the latter was nominated for an Academy Award...
's 1983 adaptation of Farley Mowat
Farley Mowat
Farley McGill Mowat, , born May 12, 1921 is a conservationist and one of Canada's most widely-read authors.His works have been translated into 52 languages and he has sold more than 14 million books. He achieved fame with the publication of his books on the Canadian North, such as People of the...
's autobiographical novel Never Cry Wolf. In the movie Wolf there is a pissing contest between two competitors. During a figurative pissing contest with a sleazy rival, Jack Nicholson
Jack Nicholson
John Joseph "Jack" Nicholson is an American actor, film director, producer and writer. He is renowned for his often dark portrayals of neurotic characters. Nicholson has been nominated for an Academy Award twelve times, and has won the Academy Award for Best Actor twice: for One Flew Over the...
's character confronts him in a bathroom, shows him he has just taken his job, fires him, and then pees on his shoes saying, "I'm just marking my territory, and you got in the way". The competitor, played by James Spader
James Spader
James Todd Spader is an American actor best known for his eccentric roles in movies such as Pretty in Pink, Less Than Zero, Sex, Lies, and Videotape, Crash, Stargate, and Secretary...
, notes that he has "suede
Suede
Suede is a type of leather with a napped finish, commonly used for jackets, shoes, shirts, purses, furniture and other items. The term comes from the French "gants de Suède", which literally means "gloves of Sweden"....
shoes" to which Nicholson replies "asparagus".
Director Steven Sebring
Steven Sebring
Steven Sebring is a New York City-based photographer, filmmaker and multimedia artist. He has contributed images to magazines such as Vanity Fair, W, L’uomo Vogue, GQ and Elle, shot international campaigns for Ralph Lauren, Maybelline, DKNY and Coach, and directed the Sundance Film Festival...
's Patti Smith: Dream of Life
Patti Smith: Dream of Life
Patti Smith: Dream of Life is a 2008 documentary film about Patti Smith directed by Steven Sebring. It was presented at Berlin International Film Festival. The movie won the "Excellence in Cinematography Award: Documentary" at the 2008 Sundance Film Festival and aired on the PBS series P.O.V...
(2008) captures Patti Smith
Patti Smith
Patricia Lee "Patti" Smith is an American singer-songwriter, poet and visual artist, who became a highly influential component of the New York City punk rock movement with her 1975 debut album Horses....
in a "playful" pissing contest with Flea
Flea (musician)
Michael Peter Balzary , better known by his stage name Flea, is an Australian-American musician and occasional actor. He is best known as the bassist, co-founding member, and one of the composers of the rock band Red Hot Chili Peppers...
.
The Friars Club Encyclopedia of Jokes includes a story about a husband and wife who compete in a pissing contest.