Havelock Vetinari
Encyclopedia
Havelock Vetinari, Lord Vetinari, Patrician of Ankh-Morpork, is the fictional ruler of the city state of Ankh-Morpork
in Terry Pratchett
's Discworld
series, a series of over thirty books describing a parallel universe
whose main world has reflections of - even more or less subtle jokes about - our 'Roundworld' or Earth
. Vetinari is sometimes said to have been based on the Italian statesman and diplomat, Niccolò Machiavelli
, but in fact favours a subtly different (though equally pragmatic) form of statecraft
.
and on the word "veterinary
") and raised by his aunt, Lady Roberta Meserole.
As a youth, he enrolled in the Assassins' Guild
which, apart from teaching its students how to kill other people for money, also gives them an excellent education
academia
. Lord Vetinari was particularly interested in the classical arts and, (in flagrant defiance of the Guild's conventions of style,) camouflage
, though he was failed in his stealth examination (due to the examiner's belief that he had used trickery and his apparent absence in classes). Because of the similarity his name bore to "veterinary", he endured the nickname
of Dog-botherer. Vetinari graduated from the Guild with exceptional marks, scoring disconcertingly high in attention to detail. It is also mentioned that he studied languages; in Jingo
he translates Klatchian for Sergeant Colon, although he flatly denies being able to speak it.
In his late teens, Vetinari was involved in the "Glorious 25th of May" (Night Watch), to which his most notable contribution was the non-assassination of the then-Patrician of Ankh-Morpork
, Homicidal Lord Winder, at a crowded party. Vetinari was present at Winder's death, but although he certainly intended to assassinate Winder, his mere arrival was enough to frighten Winder to death. Vetinari was able to drop his bloodless sword beside Winder's corpse, unused, and leave - all seemingly unobserved by anyone in the room, save Winder (though it was hinted that the party was arranged for the very occasion of Winder's assassination). Vetinari appeared in full Assassin regalia, which Winder regarded as something out of a nightmare. When asked (as traditional) about who he is and who sent him, he replies, respectively, 'Think of me as...your future' and 'I come from the city' showing that he already has the concern for the city's welfare he later shows.
Later, he fought alongside the remnants of Samuel Vimes' (then known as John Keel) Night Watch against the remnants of the Cable Street Particulars (colloquially known as the Unmentionables), the late Lord Winder's secret police
. The effect Keel has on Vetinari and the events of the 25th of May clearly shape Vetinari's views on the effective way of running the city.
Vetinari later journeyed to Überwald on what is known as the Grand Sneer (a parody of Grand Tour
); travels of the younger members of rich families to backward areas to see at first hand how inferior they are. There he met the vampire
Lady Margolotta. It is implied that the two had some kind of relationship, and stated more clearly that he taught her a lot of what she knows, and vice versa. In The Fifth Elephant, Margolotta is surprised when Vimes tells her that Vetinari seems to be the same age as himself; she had expected him to be "quite old now".
and the "Seamstresses
," which had been active-but-outlawed for years. Their leaders became esteemed members of society and their members insured and licensed. Vetinari also made it clear to them that he knew everything about them, right down to where their wives had their hair done, and where their children played. Therefore, the Guilds did what he asked of them, and eventually, lawlessness was not so much 'eliminated' as organized. Nowadays, for a modest fee, an Ankh-Morpork citizen may walk the streets confident that he will not be mugged more than a few times per year, and will always receive a receipt.
is, after all, Si non confectus, non reficiat ("If it ain't broke, don't fix it.") This does not mean that there are absolutely no changes, however; things that don't work are fixed very quickly, even if it does not look like they are at first. In Soul Music, Mr. Clete expresses a belief that "things that didn't work ... got broken." Perhaps in conjunction with this, Vetinari has an interest in keeping things in smooth, simple working order. For example, Vetinari still maintains an ancient department of the Ankh-Morpork government responsible for ensuring all figures of speech have a basis in fact, on the basis that people who seek this kind of employment must be kept busy, or else they just might do anything.
Despite being technically a dictator
, Lord Vetinari does not exercise the despotic rule that characterised some of his predecessors. He is, in fact, the archetype of a benevolent dictator, in a chilly, inscrutable way. In The Truth
, he permits the emergence of a free press
, and has rarely, if ever, been known to have innocent people just dragged off to dungeons without a trial
: The notable exception to this rule are mime artists, whom Vetinari despises. Vetinari banned all mime performances from Ankh-Morpork shortly after taking power. Mime artists who violate the ban usually find themselves hanging upside down in Vetinari's scorpion pit while reading a sign saying "learn the words."
Morporkians are, however, in no doubt that Vetinari is firmly in charge of the city; the political system of Ankh-Morpork is described as "One Man, One Vote," in which Vetinari alone is the Man, and he has the Vote. In Making Money
, he first appears to avoid meddling in the affairs of private business, but suddenly exercises his executive power in closing several prominent banks for audit at the end of the novel. Also, in Going Postal
, while Vetinari could have ordered an investigation of the Clacks company and their financial endeavours at any time, he did not do so until public opinion allowed it, and only then did he proclaim his right as a "tyrant" to launch such an inquiry. Vetinari is broadly tolerant of individual rights, but highly intolerant of people who place their own interests above those of the city. Beyond this, he utilizes, apparently quite regularly, condemned criminals as replacements for his officials with sufficent cleverness and desperation not to face justice. For example, in Going Postal, both Moist von Lipwig and Reacher Gilt were sentenced to die by hanging, after which they awoke in a room in a meeting with Vetinari. Moist, who accepted the deal, was given a prestigious position, at the cost of having to resurrect the Postal Service. Reacher Gilt, however, did not accept, and fell to his death after stepping through a door that appeared to lead to freedom.
and Carrot Ironfoundersson – members of the City Watch and hence used to keeping Vetinari alive – on the grounds that they would be 'on top of the pile' if the city collapsed, as the cities' highest ranking noble and the rightful heir to the throne respectively. The Assassins' Guild no longer accepts contracts on the Patrician – he is the only person besides Samuel Vimes
to have been taken off the register. He had the highest "official" price for a living being ever: 1 Million Ankh-Morpork Dollars," (Feet of Clay
.)
In Thud!
, his rule of the city is likened to a room full of tension, with people bickering and shouting at one another, and "in the middle of it all, one man, quietly doing his own thing."
Other reasons for the Patrician's continued rule include his mastery of diplomacy and manipulation of human nature, his distant and menacing air, his everpresent calmness and composure which make other people ill at ease, his abilities as a listener, (often people just tell him things simply to fill his silence,) and of course his very, very impressive skills as an Assassin; ("Mr. Slant had failed to tell the New Firm about a number of things, and one of them was that Vetinari moved like a snake," (The Truth
)).
Additionally, Vetinari organizes grassroots
resistance to himself, enabling him to ensure that all plots against him fail, and that the various groups are constantly quarreling with each other.
Vetinari has created, (or at least continued,) the use of a team of clerks, sometimes called the 'Dark Clerks', who bring him information on just about everything; they serve, among other functions, as accountants, forensic auditors
, and a domestic intelligence service. The apparent head, (or at least one of those seen to most frequently liaise with Vetinari,) of this team is Rufus Drumknott.
Vetinari's rule over the city seems to be cemented by the general acknowledgement that very little goes on in the city that Vetinari does not know about. Thus, when a visitor stands in audience with the Patrician, they can be assured that Vetinari knows exactly why they're there, even if the visitor-him/herself does not.
. He was deposed for a time in favour of a summoned dragon and locked up in his own dungeons, from which he escaped at his leisure (Guards! Guards!
).
As seen by Vimes, the door to his cell was very large and heavy, and was absolutely covered in bars, bolts and locks – on the inside. All that was on the outside was a single lock, a key to which Vetinari had hidden in the cell. He has two mottos a ruler should remember when building dungeons: "Never build a dungeon you wouldn't want to spend the night in yourself," and, "Never build a dungeon you can't get out of."
The collection of sentient, loyal rats (thanks to the unintentional influence of the Unseen University
) with access to the dungeons, and much of the palace itself, provides a well-secured backup escape plan; during a conflict with the palace's snake and scorpion populations Vetinari provided them with military advice, allowing them to become the palace's dominant vermin.
He was shot in the leg with a gonne and now walks with an ebony cane, though only in public (Men at Arms
). It was rumoured that the cane held a sword that was made of iron from the blood of a thousand men but this was revealed to be false (Making Money
); as he says to Moist; "Oh, really. Do I look like a 'sword made of the blood of a thousand men' ruler?." (His public image seems to be subject to the same kind of outrageous rumor
, heresay and Boffo way of thinking that is not unlike the late Ramtops witch; Eumenides Treason.)
A year later, he was poisoned with arsenic
, which he inhaled from the smoke of poisoned candles (Feet of Clay
). Characteristically, he continued to fake both the symptoms and the evidence of it until the City Watch found out, thus exposing the conspiracy behind the method while allowing Vimes to be – in his own words – Vimes.
During the brief war with Klatch, Vetinari unexpectedly surrendered unconditionally, resulting in his near-exile. However, when the island which was both the cause of controversy and the location set for the signing of the surrender treaty sank into the ocean (again), all the terms of surrender were off and the Klatchian leader lost face (and his throne), which was Vetinari's plan all along. He ended up being congratulated instead of being deposed and exiled (Jingo
).
Some time later, Vetinari was framed for assault (on Drumknott) and theft from the city treasury. Again he came a hair's breadth from being deposed (The Truth
). He was arrested by his own Commander of the Watch (Samuel Vimes
) for attempted murder, and spent part of the book incarcerated. William de Worde, however, works out that it was in fact a plot using a body double for Vetinari. He first becomes suspicious when it occurs to him that if Vetinari had wanted Drumknott dead, would Drumknott really still be alive?
None of these events – even poisoning – seem to have fazed him at all. There have also been numerous attempts on his life by Assassins retained by other parties; the universal failure of these attempts (as well as the insight that the city ruled by him is slightly better than it is without him) led to the Guild's refusal to accept further contracts on Vetinari.
), the appearance of a Sourcerer (Sourcery
), a dragon (Guards! Guards!
), a war (Jingo
) plus one near-civil war
(Men at Arms
), and an attempt to destroy the Discworld
(The Last Hero
), as well as the metaphysical crises of Moving Pictures
, Music With Rocks In (Soul Music
), superfluous life force and belief (Reaper Man
, Hogfather
), and one major temporal shatter (Thief of Time
). However, it is unclear whether even the well-informed Vetinari was aware of the last, though it would be unwise in the extreme to assume (and it was hinted at) that he was not.
Vetinari has encouraged the growth of the Guilds and public services. The Ankh-Morpork City Watch
in particular has flourished, and is an excellent example of the adaptability which has kept Vetinari in office. When he rose to power, the Night Watch consisted of three incompetents led by a drunk, and that was just how he wanted it (the rationale behind this being that if police want to reduce crime they have to work harder, if criminals want to reduce crime they take a day off). Now, it is a large, efficient, well-oiled anti-crime machine, and that appears now to be just how he wants it. One may speculate that while Vetinari basically has a watchmaker's vision of the state, with everything in perfect balance and needing only the occasional drop of fine oil, he is actually pragmatic enough to appreciate that it requires to be kept in trim with a heavy hammer, aka Samuel Vimes.
Ankh-Morpork has given birth to the first newspaper, the Ankh-Morpork Times (The Truth
), while the AM-based Grand Trunk Clacks Company established the first efficient international communication service (The Fifth Elephant
).
More recently, he has put into place Moist von Lipwig
, who revamped the postal service without costing the taxpayers anything (Going Postal
). During this, he invents stamps, which were the closest thing Ankh-Morpork had to banknotes until said form of currency made their debut in Making Money
(again by von Lipwig).
At some point between Thud! and Making Money, Vetinari has begun plans for a phenomenal redevelopment project of Ankh Morpork titled 'The Undertaking' – this seems to have been inspired by the discovery in Thud! of an ancient perpetual motion
engine – a twin of one which according to Carrot Ironfoundersson powers all of the machinery in one of the largest mines in Uberwald. Rumors around the Undertaking include mention of 'underground streets', 'waterproof tunnels' and 'new docks'.
at the time of the main events of the book, when Vimes was 16), Lord Vetinari is tall, thin and dresses all in dusty black, including a black skullcap. His appearance has been likened to that of a predatory flamingo
, if one existed.
His family coat of arms is a plain, simple sable shield, and therefore does not show up against the black coach in which Vetinari travels—-black on black, (upon which Moist von Lipwig
in Going Postal
comments that "you had to admit that the bastard had style.") His family motto
is Si non confectus, non reficiat (If it ain't broke, don't fix it).
Lord Vetinari lives and works in the Patrician's Palace
, which used to be the Royal Winter Palace. He sits on a plain wooden chair at the feet of the Golden Throne of Ankh, (much like the Steward of Gondor
in The Lord of the Rings
). The Throne remains untouched despite being made of gold, (in Ankh Morpork,) and behind it is the original crown, which is actually gold foil over now-rotten-through wood.
He accepts interviews in the Oblong Office, (a reference to the White House
's Oval Office
). Notably he does not request, or even demand the presence of any of his citizens, but merely has them informed that they "have an appointment with him," and they are promptly escorted to said appointment. When Vetinari considers the meeting ended, he usually dismisses his visitors with the phrase "don't let me detain you." The inherent implication being that he just might if they let him.
He holds meetings in the Rats Chamber, so named because of its fresco
of dancing rat
s on the ceiling, (a play on the Star Chamber
and the German
Ratskammer, which literally means 'council chamber'). Occupants report that spending any time in the room makes one want to leave and go have a good long bath.
His bedroom is spartan
; containing little more than a narrow bed and a few battered cupboards. He apparently requires so little sleep and gets up so early that going to bed is merely an excuse to change his clothes ("He has a bedroom. He presumably sleeps" The New Discworld Companion). He is known to always be in his office at very late, (or perhaps early,) hours, apparently just coinciding with when someone wishes to see him and he wishes to see them. He is not often described as sleeping, (exceptions are in Jingo
and The Truth
), although he has been unconscious several times.
He has one known relative (Lady Roberta "Bobbi" Meserole, his aunt) who may come from Genua and now lives in Pseudopolis. She appears to share his forte for subtle
politics
. His father apparently died while Havelock was still young, and, according to his aunt, took things much less seriously than his son does.
Vetinari has no lust for power. The sole reason for his ruling the city is that he is fiercely loyal to it, although it is also at times been implied that he does it because it amuses him to do so, in the sense that he enjoys outwitting all the people who try to oppose him. He also has no exploitable vices, barring a strange fondness for candied jellyfish
– mentioned in the early books but believed by some to be referring to a previous Patrician (see Bibliography). Compared to the previous Patricians of the city, Vetinari appears to be remarkably normal. The only exception to this is his pathological hatred of street mime artists, but this is largely accepted as an acceptable quirk.
It was established in Guards!, Guards! that Vetinari can communicate with the palace rats. These rats have sentience
because of the magic from the Unseen University
. The rats are now loyal to him because he provided them military advice that, after a conflict with the snakes and scorpions that also inhabited the dungeons, allowed them to become dominant vermin of the palace. As seen in the book, during his imprisonment, the rats have trouble with specific wording and Vetinari ends up with a book on lacemaking in place of the one he desires. He takes the opportunity to learn lace construction anyway, on the principle that one never knows when such a thing may be useful.
Vetinari also enjoys reading written music rather than listening to it performed, because the idea of it being performed by people, with all the sweat
and saliva
involved, strikes him as distasteful.
Though he excels at the Discworld's equivalent of sudoku
, Jikan no Muda (無駄の時間; Literally, "Waste of Time" in Japanese
), and can solve them after glancing at any grid for a few seconds, he finds them unsatisfying, as numbers are too easy to outwit. He enjoys crosswords far more, as one needs to comprehend how another person's mind works when actively trying to mislead. He has found great pleasure in the work of 'The Blind Letter Office' at the Post Office, helping to decipher the nigh-illegible gibberish that some of Ankh-Morpork's less educated citizenry address their letters with - for example working out casually that 'Duzbuns Hopsit pfarmarrsc' equals 'K. Whistler, Baker, 3 Pigsty Hill' (Does Buns Opposite the Pharmacy). The men employed for this job are successful in 'translating' five addresses out of every six and view Vetinari's casual skill at it with something approaching awe.
Lord Vetinari also has a strange clock in his waiting-room. While it does keep completely accurate time overall, it sometimes ticks and tocks out of sync (example: "tick, tock... ticktocktick, tock...") and occasionally misses a tick or tock altogether, which has the net effect of turning one's brain "into a sort of porridge". (Feet of Clay, Going Postal). In Feet of Clay Vimes observes that it must have cost him quite a lot of money.
It has been suggested that Vetinari may not be entirely human, though this is primarily because of his methods and personality, as opposed to any sort of physical proof (although in The Fifth Elephant, Lady Margolotta was surprised at his lack of aging). Vetinari admits to being "drunk as a skunk" after a banquet at Unseen University, but continues to be startlingly lucid and eloquent. The only discernible manifestation of his drunkenness: it takes him 50 seconds longer to solve the Ankh-Morpork Times daily crossword (Unseen Academicals
).
called Wuffles. It is said that Wuffles is the only living creature Lord Vetinari actually cares about (unless Ankh-Morpork is considered a living creature). Wuffles has been described as very elderly in two books that take place many years apart. In the novel Making Money, it is shown that Wuffles has, at some recent point, died; reinforcing Vetinari's affection for the dog is the rumor that every week he makes a short (and via a different path) walk to Wuffles' small grave in the palace grounds, every time leaving a dog biscuit, though this may be entirely untrue, or may simply be done to add a layer of apparent human weakness to those seeking one.
As of Making Money he is now caring for another dog - 'Mr Fusspot', the former pet of the late Topsy Lavish, née Turvy, Chairwoman of the Royal Bank and Mint. Thanks to an unusual will and Topsy's contempt for her in-law
s; the rest of the Lavish family, Mr Fusspot is formally and legally the current Chairman. This leads to the debate whether this gives Vetinari control of the bank and mint, since Topsy's will states the person caring for Mr. Fusspot is also the executor of 'the chairman's' wishes for both concerns. The authority rested in Moist Von Lipwig, the current Master Of The Mint and temporary caretaker of Mr Fusspot before Vetinari adopted/seized/confiscated the dog. There has been concern over Vetinari's caring of the dog, though no one wishes to risk raising the issue with him.
in the 1992 BBC Radio 4
adaptation of Guards! Guards!
.
Pratchett's own choice of actor to play Vetinari is Alan Rickman
, specified as 'the bad guy from Die Hard
'.
However, in the Colour of Magic TV movie
, the Patrician was portrayed as Vetinari by Jeremy Irons
, 'the bad guy from the other Die Hard (with a Vengeance).'
In Going Postal TV movie, he was played by Charles Dance
.
Ankh-Morpork
Ankh-Morpork is a fictional city-state which prominently features in Terry Pratchett's Discworld series of fantasy novels. As cities go, it is on the far side of corrupt and polluted, and is subject to outbreaks of comedic violence and brouhaha on a fairly regular basis...
in Terry Pratchett
Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John "Terry" Pratchett, OBE is an English novelist, known for his frequently comical work in the fantasy genre. He is best known for his popular and long-running Discworld series of comic fantasy novels...
's Discworld
Discworld
Discworld is a comic fantasy book series by English author Sir Terry Pratchett, set on the Discworld, a flat world balanced on the backs of four elephants which, in turn, stand on the back of a giant turtle, Great A'Tuin. The books frequently parody, or at least take inspiration from, J. R. R....
series, a series of over thirty books describing a parallel universe
Universe
The Universe is commonly defined as the totality of everything that exists, including all matter and energy, the planets, stars, galaxies, and the contents of intergalactic space. Definitions and usage vary and similar terms include the cosmos, the world and nature...
whose main world has reflections of - even more or less subtle jokes about - our 'Roundworld' or Earth
Earth
Earth is the third planet from the Sun, and the densest and fifth-largest of the eight planets in the Solar System. It is also the largest of the Solar System's four terrestrial planets...
. Vetinari is sometimes said to have been based on the Italian statesman and diplomat, Niccolò Machiavelli
Niccolò Machiavelli
Niccolò di Bernardo dei Machiavelli was an Italian historian, philosopher, humanist, and writer based in Florence during the Renaissance. He is one of the main founders of modern political science. He was a diplomat, political philosopher, playwright, and a civil servant of the Florentine Republic...
, but in fact favours a subtly different (though equally pragmatic) form of statecraft
Public administration
Public Administration houses the implementation of government policy and an academic discipline that studies this implementation and that prepares civil servants for this work. As a "field of inquiry with a diverse scope" its "fundamental goal.....
.
Early years
Lord Vetinari was born into the extremely powerful Vetinari family (a pun, or play on words, on the real-life family of the MediciMedici
The House of Medici or Famiglia de' Medici was a political dynasty, banking family and later royal house that first began to gather prominence under Cosimo de' Medici in the Republic of Florence during the late 14th century. The family originated in the Mugello region of the Tuscan countryside,...
and on the word "veterinary
Veterinary medicine
Veterinary Medicine is the branch of science that deals with the prevention, diagnosis and treatment of disease, disorder and injury in non-human animals...
") and raised by his aunt, Lady Roberta Meserole.
As a youth, he enrolled in the Assassins' Guild
Ankh-Morpork Assassins' Guild
The Ankh-Morpork Assassins' Guild is a fictional school for professional killers in Terry Pratchett's long-running Discworld series of fantasy novels...
which, apart from teaching its students how to kill other people for money, also gives them an excellent education
Education
Education in its broadest, general sense is the means through which the aims and habits of a group of people lives on from one generation to the next. Generally, it occurs through any experience that has a formative effect on the way one thinks, feels, or acts...
academia
Academia
Academia is the community of students and scholars engaged in higher education and research.-Etymology:The word comes from the akademeia in ancient Greece. Outside the city walls of Athens, the gymnasium was made famous by Plato as a center of learning...
. Lord Vetinari was particularly interested in the classical arts and, (in flagrant defiance of the Guild's conventions of style,) camouflage
Camouflage
Camouflage is a method of concealment that allows an otherwise visible animal, military vehicle, or other object to remain unnoticed, by blending with its environment. Examples include a leopard's spotted coat, the battledress of a modern soldier and a leaf-mimic butterfly...
, though he was failed in his stealth examination (due to the examiner's belief that he had used trickery and his apparent absence in classes). Because of the similarity his name bore to "veterinary", he endured the nickname
Nickname
A nickname is "a usually familiar or humorous but sometimes pointed or cruel name given to a person or place, as a supposedly appropriate replacement for or addition to the proper name.", or a name similar in origin and pronunciation from the original name....
of Dog-botherer. Vetinari graduated from the Guild with exceptional marks, scoring disconcertingly high in attention to detail. It is also mentioned that he studied languages; in Jingo
Jingo (novel)
Jingo is the 21st novel by Terry Pratchett, one of his Discworld series. It was published in 1997. The rising of a previously submerged island and the subconstituent sovereignty dispute were inspired by the real-life island of Ferdinandea.-Plot:...
he translates Klatchian for Sergeant Colon, although he flatly denies being able to speak it.
In his late teens, Vetinari was involved in the "Glorious 25th of May" (Night Watch), to which his most notable contribution was the non-assassination of the then-Patrician of Ankh-Morpork
Ankh-Morpork
Ankh-Morpork is a fictional city-state which prominently features in Terry Pratchett's Discworld series of fantasy novels. As cities go, it is on the far side of corrupt and polluted, and is subject to outbreaks of comedic violence and brouhaha on a fairly regular basis...
, Homicidal Lord Winder, at a crowded party. Vetinari was present at Winder's death, but although he certainly intended to assassinate Winder, his mere arrival was enough to frighten Winder to death. Vetinari was able to drop his bloodless sword beside Winder's corpse, unused, and leave - all seemingly unobserved by anyone in the room, save Winder (though it was hinted that the party was arranged for the very occasion of Winder's assassination). Vetinari appeared in full Assassin regalia, which Winder regarded as something out of a nightmare. When asked (as traditional) about who he is and who sent him, he replies, respectively, 'Think of me as...your future' and 'I come from the city' showing that he already has the concern for the city's welfare he later shows.
Later, he fought alongside the remnants of Samuel Vimes' (then known as John Keel) Night Watch against the remnants of the Cable Street Particulars (colloquially known as the Unmentionables), the late Lord Winder's secret police
Secret police
Secret police are a police agency which operates in secrecy and beyond the law to protect the political power of an individual dictator or an authoritarian political regime....
. The effect Keel has on Vetinari and the events of the 25th of May clearly shape Vetinari's views on the effective way of running the city.
Vetinari later journeyed to Überwald on what is known as the Grand Sneer (a parody of Grand Tour
Grand Tour
The Grand Tour was the traditional trip of Europe undertaken by mainly upper-class European young men of means. The custom flourished from about 1660 until the advent of large-scale rail transit in the 1840s, and was associated with a standard itinerary. It served as an educational rite of passage...
); travels of the younger members of rich families to backward areas to see at first hand how inferior they are. There he met the vampire
Vampire
Vampires are mythological or folkloric beings who subsist by feeding on the life essence of living creatures, regardless of whether they are undead or a living person...
Lady Margolotta. It is implied that the two had some kind of relationship, and stated more clearly that he taught her a lot of what she knows, and vice versa. In The Fifth Elephant, Margolotta is surprised when Vimes tells her that Vetinari seems to be the same age as himself; she had expected him to be "quite old now".
Rise to power
Lord Vetinari succeeded Mad Lord Snapcase, who had been as mad as the name suggests. One of Vetinari's earliest actions and a sample of his way of running the city was to legalize Guilds such as those of the ThievesThieves' Guild
A thieves' guild is an association of criminals who participate in theft-related organized crime, usually in a fictional context. A thieves' guild is a common feature of old-fashioned urban locations in various types of fiction.-Depictions:...
and the "Seamstresses
Prostitution
Prostitution is the act or practice of providing sexual services to another person in return for payment. The person who receives payment for sexual services is called a prostitute and the person who receives such services is known by a multitude of terms, including a "john". Prostitution is one of...
," which had been active-but-outlawed for years. Their leaders became esteemed members of society and their members insured and licensed. Vetinari also made it clear to them that he knew everything about them, right down to where their wives had their hair done, and where their children played. Therefore, the Guilds did what he asked of them, and eventually, lawlessness was not so much 'eliminated' as organized. Nowadays, for a modest fee, an Ankh-Morpork citizen may walk the streets confident that he will not be mugged more than a few times per year, and will always receive a receipt.
Vetinari's golden rule
Lord Vetinari's genius political thinking and his running of the city can be summed up by his belief that what people wish for most is not good government, or even justice, but merely for things to stay the same; the Vetinari family mottoMotto
A motto is a phrase meant to formally summarize the general motivation or intention of a social group or organization. A motto may be in any language, but Latin is the most used. The local language is usual in the mottoes of governments...
is, after all, Si non confectus, non reficiat ("If it ain't broke, don't fix it.") This does not mean that there are absolutely no changes, however; things that don't work are fixed very quickly, even if it does not look like they are at first. In Soul Music, Mr. Clete expresses a belief that "things that didn't work ... got broken." Perhaps in conjunction with this, Vetinari has an interest in keeping things in smooth, simple working order. For example, Vetinari still maintains an ancient department of the Ankh-Morpork government responsible for ensuring all figures of speech have a basis in fact, on the basis that people who seek this kind of employment must be kept busy, or else they just might do anything.
Despite being technically a dictator
Dictator
A dictator is a ruler who assumes sole and absolute power but without hereditary ascension such as an absolute monarch. When other states call the head of state of a particular state a dictator, that state is called a dictatorship...
, Lord Vetinari does not exercise the despotic rule that characterised some of his predecessors. He is, in fact, the archetype of a benevolent dictator, in a chilly, inscrutable way. In The Truth
The Truth (novel)
The Truth is the twenty-fifth Discworld novel by Terry Pratchett, published in 2000.The book features the coming of movable type to Ankh-Morpork, and the founding of the Discworld's first newspaper by William de Worde, as he invents investigative journalism with the help of his reporter Sacharissa...
, he permits the emergence of a free press
Freedom of the press
Freedom of the press or freedom of the media is the freedom of communication and expression through vehicles including various electronic media and published materials...
, and has rarely, if ever, been known to have innocent people just dragged off to dungeons without a trial
Trial
A trial is, in the most general sense, a test, usually a test to see whether something does or does not meet a given standard.It may refer to:*Trial , the presentation of information in a formal setting, usually a court...
: The notable exception to this rule are mime artists, whom Vetinari despises. Vetinari banned all mime performances from Ankh-Morpork shortly after taking power. Mime artists who violate the ban usually find themselves hanging upside down in Vetinari's scorpion pit while reading a sign saying "learn the words."
Morporkians are, however, in no doubt that Vetinari is firmly in charge of the city; the political system of Ankh-Morpork is described as "One Man, One Vote," in which Vetinari alone is the Man, and he has the Vote. In Making Money
Making Money
Making Money is a Terry Pratchett novel in the Discworld series, first published in the UK on 20 September 2007. It is the second novel featuring Moist von Lipwig, and involves the Ankh-Morpork mint and specifically the introduction of paper money to the city...
, he first appears to avoid meddling in the affairs of private business, but suddenly exercises his executive power in closing several prominent banks for audit at the end of the novel. Also, in Going Postal
Going Postal
Going Postal is Terry Pratchett's 33rd Discworld novel, released in the United Kingdom on September 25, 2004. Unlike most of Pratchett's Discworld novels, Going Postal is divided into chapters, a feature previously seen only in Pratchett's children's books and the Science of Discworld series...
, while Vetinari could have ordered an investigation of the Clacks company and their financial endeavours at any time, he did not do so until public opinion allowed it, and only then did he proclaim his right as a "tyrant" to launch such an inquiry. Vetinari is broadly tolerant of individual rights, but highly intolerant of people who place their own interests above those of the city. Beyond this, he utilizes, apparently quite regularly, condemned criminals as replacements for his officials with sufficent cleverness and desperation not to face justice. For example, in Going Postal, both Moist von Lipwig and Reacher Gilt were sentenced to die by hanging, after which they awoke in a room in a meeting with Vetinari. Moist, who accepted the deal, was given a prestigious position, at the cost of having to resurrect the Postal Service. Reacher Gilt, however, did not accept, and fell to his death after stepping through a door that appeared to lead to freedom.
Staying in power
While he is just as unpopular as those that came before him, Lord Vetinari is very much sane, of sound mind and judgement, and very much still alive. He has achieved this by ensuring that even though all power-wielding groups in the city dislike him, they dislike each other even more-so. He also carefully arranges matters so that a reality which includes him as Patrician is slightly better than one which does not, with the result being that the only two people who would actually benefit from his death are Samuel VimesSamuel Vimes
Samuel "Sam" Vimes is a fictional policeman from Terry Pratchett's Discworld series. As of his latest promotion, his full name and title is; "'His Grace, His Excellency, The Duke of Ankh; Commander Sir Samuel Vimes": When serving as Ambassador for Ankh-Morpork, he is also referred to simply as...
and Carrot Ironfoundersson – members of the City Watch and hence used to keeping Vetinari alive – on the grounds that they would be 'on top of the pile' if the city collapsed, as the cities' highest ranking noble and the rightful heir to the throne respectively. The Assassins' Guild no longer accepts contracts on the Patrician – he is the only person besides Samuel Vimes
Samuel Vimes
Samuel "Sam" Vimes is a fictional policeman from Terry Pratchett's Discworld series. As of his latest promotion, his full name and title is; "'His Grace, His Excellency, The Duke of Ankh; Commander Sir Samuel Vimes": When serving as Ambassador for Ankh-Morpork, he is also referred to simply as...
to have been taken off the register. He had the highest "official" price for a living being ever: 1 Million Ankh-Morpork Dollars," (Feet of Clay
Feet of Clay
Feet of Clay is the nineteenth Discworld novel by Terry Pratchett, published in 1996. The story follows the members of the City Watch, as they attempt to solve murders apparently committed by a golem, as well as the unusual poisoning of the Patrician, Lord Vetinari.The title is a figure of speech...
.)
In Thud!
Thud!
Thud! is Terry Pratchett's 34th Discworld novel, released in the United States of America on September 13, 2005, the United Kingdom on 1 October 2005. Thud! was released in the U.S. three weeks before it was released in Pratchett's native UK, to coincide with a United States signing tour...
, his rule of the city is likened to a room full of tension, with people bickering and shouting at one another, and "in the middle of it all, one man, quietly doing his own thing."
Other reasons for the Patrician's continued rule include his mastery of diplomacy and manipulation of human nature, his distant and menacing air, his everpresent calmness and composure which make other people ill at ease, his abilities as a listener, (often people just tell him things simply to fill his silence,) and of course his very, very impressive skills as an Assassin; ("Mr. Slant had failed to tell the New Firm about a number of things, and one of them was that Vetinari moved like a snake," (The Truth
The Truth (novel)
The Truth is the twenty-fifth Discworld novel by Terry Pratchett, published in 2000.The book features the coming of movable type to Ankh-Morpork, and the founding of the Discworld's first newspaper by William de Worde, as he invents investigative journalism with the help of his reporter Sacharissa...
)).
Additionally, Vetinari organizes grassroots
Grassroots
A grassroots movement is one driven by the politics of a community. The term implies that the creation of the movement and the group supporting it are natural and spontaneous, highlighting the differences between this and a movement that is orchestrated by traditional power structures...
resistance to himself, enabling him to ensure that all plots against him fail, and that the various groups are constantly quarreling with each other.
Vetinari has created, (or at least continued,) the use of a team of clerks, sometimes called the 'Dark Clerks', who bring him information on just about everything; they serve, among other functions, as accountants, forensic auditors
Forensic accounting
Forensic accounting is the specialty practice area of accountancy that describes engagements that result from actual or anticipated disputes or litigation. "Forensic" means "suitable for use in a court of law", and it is to that standard and potential outcome that forensic accountants generally...
, and a domestic intelligence service. The apparent head, (or at least one of those seen to most frequently liaise with Vetinari,) of this team is Rufus Drumknott.
Vetinari's rule over the city seems to be cemented by the general acknowledgement that very little goes on in the city that Vetinari does not know about. Thus, when a visitor stands in audience with the Patrician, they can be assured that Vetinari knows exactly why they're there, even if the visitor-him/herself does not.
Deposition and restoration
Several attempts have been made on Vetinari's life or position (strangely enough, he seems to be involved in most of these). Shortly after his ascent to office, he was briefly turned into a lizard by a wizard under the influence of a SourcererSourcery
Sourcery is the fifth Discworld novel by Terry Pratchett, published in 1988. On the Discworld, sourcerers - wizards who are sources of magic, and thus immensely more powerful than normal wizards – were the main cause of the great mage wars that left areas of the disc uninhabitable. Men born the...
. He was deposed for a time in favour of a summoned dragon and locked up in his own dungeons, from which he escaped at his leisure (Guards! Guards!
Guards! Guards!
Guards! Guards! is the eighth Discworld novel by Terry Pratchett, first published in 1989. It is the first novel about the City Watch. The first Discworld computer game borrowed heavily from Guards! Guards! in terms of plot.-Plot:...
).
As seen by Vimes, the door to his cell was very large and heavy, and was absolutely covered in bars, bolts and locks – on the inside. All that was on the outside was a single lock, a key to which Vetinari had hidden in the cell. He has two mottos a ruler should remember when building dungeons: "Never build a dungeon you wouldn't want to spend the night in yourself," and, "Never build a dungeon you can't get out of."
The collection of sentient, loyal rats (thanks to the unintentional influence of the Unseen University
Unseen University
The Unseen University is a school of wizardry in Terry Pratchett's Discworld series of fantasy novels. Located in the city of Ankh-Morpork, the UU is staffed by a faculty composed of mostly indolent and inept old wizards. The university's name is a pun on the Invisible College...
) with access to the dungeons, and much of the palace itself, provides a well-secured backup escape plan; during a conflict with the palace's snake and scorpion populations Vetinari provided them with military advice, allowing them to become the palace's dominant vermin.
He was shot in the leg with a gonne and now walks with an ebony cane, though only in public (Men at Arms
Men at Arms
Men at Arms is the 15th Discworld novel by Terry Pratchett first published in 1993. It is the second novel about the Ankh-Morpork City Watch on the Discworld. Lance-constable Angua von Überwald, later in the series promoted to the rank of Sergeant, is introduced in this book...
). It was rumoured that the cane held a sword that was made of iron from the blood of a thousand men but this was revealed to be false (Making Money
Making Money
Making Money is a Terry Pratchett novel in the Discworld series, first published in the UK on 20 September 2007. It is the second novel featuring Moist von Lipwig, and involves the Ankh-Morpork mint and specifically the introduction of paper money to the city...
); as he says to Moist; "Oh, really. Do I look like a 'sword made of the blood of a thousand men' ruler?." (His public image seems to be subject to the same kind of outrageous rumor
Rumor
A rumor or rumour is often viewed as "an unverified account or explanation of events circulating from person to person and pertaining to an object, event, or issue in public concern" However, a review of the research on rumor conducted by Pendleton in 1998 found that research across sociology,...
, heresay and Boffo way of thinking that is not unlike the late Ramtops witch; Eumenides Treason.)
A year later, he was poisoned with arsenic
Arsenic
Arsenic is a chemical element with the symbol As, atomic number 33 and relative atomic mass 74.92. Arsenic occurs in many minerals, usually in conjunction with sulfur and metals, and also as a pure elemental crystal. It was first documented by Albertus Magnus in 1250.Arsenic is a metalloid...
, which he inhaled from the smoke of poisoned candles (Feet of Clay
Feet of Clay
Feet of Clay is the nineteenth Discworld novel by Terry Pratchett, published in 1996. The story follows the members of the City Watch, as they attempt to solve murders apparently committed by a golem, as well as the unusual poisoning of the Patrician, Lord Vetinari.The title is a figure of speech...
). Characteristically, he continued to fake both the symptoms and the evidence of it until the City Watch found out, thus exposing the conspiracy behind the method while allowing Vimes to be – in his own words – Vimes.
During the brief war with Klatch, Vetinari unexpectedly surrendered unconditionally, resulting in his near-exile. However, when the island which was both the cause of controversy and the location set for the signing of the surrender treaty sank into the ocean (again), all the terms of surrender were off and the Klatchian leader lost face (and his throne), which was Vetinari's plan all along. He ended up being congratulated instead of being deposed and exiled (Jingo
Jingo (novel)
Jingo is the 21st novel by Terry Pratchett, one of his Discworld series. It was published in 1997. The rising of a previously submerged island and the subconstituent sovereignty dispute were inspired by the real-life island of Ferdinandea.-Plot:...
).
Some time later, Vetinari was framed for assault (on Drumknott) and theft from the city treasury. Again he came a hair's breadth from being deposed (The Truth
The Truth (novel)
The Truth is the twenty-fifth Discworld novel by Terry Pratchett, published in 2000.The book features the coming of movable type to Ankh-Morpork, and the founding of the Discworld's first newspaper by William de Worde, as he invents investigative journalism with the help of his reporter Sacharissa...
). He was arrested by his own Commander of the Watch (Samuel Vimes
Samuel Vimes
Samuel "Sam" Vimes is a fictional policeman from Terry Pratchett's Discworld series. As of his latest promotion, his full name and title is; "'His Grace, His Excellency, The Duke of Ankh; Commander Sir Samuel Vimes": When serving as Ambassador for Ankh-Morpork, he is also referred to simply as...
) for attempted murder, and spent part of the book incarcerated. William de Worde, however, works out that it was in fact a plot using a body double for Vetinari. He first becomes suspicious when it occurs to him that if Vetinari had wanted Drumknott dead, would Drumknott really still be alive?
None of these events – even poisoning – seem to have fazed him at all. There have also been numerous attempts on his life by Assassins retained by other parties; the universal failure of these attempts (as well as the insight that the city ruled by him is slightly better than it is without him) led to the Guild's refusal to accept further contracts on Vetinari.
Notable events during Vetinari's rule
Vetinari has seen Ankh-Morpork through many unusual events, including a great fire (The Colour of MagicThe Colour of Magic
The Colour of Magic is a 1983 comic fantasy novel by Terry Pratchett, and is the first book of the Discworld series. Pratchett has described it as "an attempt to do for the classical fantasy universe what Blazing Saddles did for Westerns."...
), the appearance of a Sourcerer (Sourcery
Sourcery
Sourcery is the fifth Discworld novel by Terry Pratchett, published in 1988. On the Discworld, sourcerers - wizards who are sources of magic, and thus immensely more powerful than normal wizards – were the main cause of the great mage wars that left areas of the disc uninhabitable. Men born the...
), a dragon (Guards! Guards!
Guards! Guards!
Guards! Guards! is the eighth Discworld novel by Terry Pratchett, first published in 1989. It is the first novel about the City Watch. The first Discworld computer game borrowed heavily from Guards! Guards! in terms of plot.-Plot:...
), a war (Jingo
Jingo (novel)
Jingo is the 21st novel by Terry Pratchett, one of his Discworld series. It was published in 1997. The rising of a previously submerged island and the subconstituent sovereignty dispute were inspired by the real-life island of Ferdinandea.-Plot:...
) plus one near-civil war
Civil war
A civil war is a war between organized groups within the same nation state or republic, or, less commonly, between two countries created from a formerly-united nation state....
(Men at Arms
Men at Arms
Men at Arms is the 15th Discworld novel by Terry Pratchett first published in 1993. It is the second novel about the Ankh-Morpork City Watch on the Discworld. Lance-constable Angua von Überwald, later in the series promoted to the rank of Sergeant, is introduced in this book...
), and an attempt to destroy the Discworld
Discworld (world)
The Discworld is the fictional setting for all of Terry Pratchett's Discworld fantasy novels. It consists of a large disc resting on the backs of four huge elephants which are in turn standing on the back of an enormous turtle, named Great A'Tuin as it slowly swims...
(The Last Hero
The Last Hero
The Last Hero is a short novel, the twenty-seventh of the Discworld series by Terry Pratchett. It was published in 2001 in a larger format than the other Discworld novels and illustrated on every page by Paul Kidby.-Plot summary:...
), as well as the metaphysical crises of Moving Pictures
Moving Pictures (novel)
Moving Pictures is the name of the tenth Discworld novel by Terry Pratchett, published in 1990. The book takes place in Discworld's most famous city, Ankh-Morpork and a town called "Holy Wood"...
, Music With Rocks In (Soul Music
Soul Music
Soul Music is the sixteenth Discworld novel by Terry Pratchett, first published in 1994. Like many of Pratchett's novels it introduces an element of modern society into the magical and vaguely late medieval, early modern world of the Discworld, in this case Rock and Roll music and stardom, with...
), superfluous life force and belief (Reaper Man
Reaper Man
Reaper Man is a Discworld novel by Terry Pratchett. Published in 1991, it is the 11th Discworld novel and the second to focus on Death. The title is a reference to Alex Cox's cult movie Repo Man.-Plot:...
, Hogfather
Hogfather
Hogfather is the 20th Discworld novel by Terry Pratchett, and a 1997 British Fantasy Award nominee.The Hogfather is also a character in the book, representing something akin to Father Christmas. He grants children's wishes on Hogswatchnight and brings them presents...
), and one major temporal shatter (Thief of Time
Thief of Time
Thief of Time is the 26th Discworld novel written by Terry Pratchett, a 2002 Locus Award nominee.-Plot summary:The Auditors are upset because the human race are living their lives in - what the Auditors consider to be - an unpredictable way...
). However, it is unclear whether even the well-informed Vetinari was aware of the last, though it would be unwise in the extreme to assume (and it was hinted at) that he was not.
Vetinari has encouraged the growth of the Guilds and public services. The Ankh-Morpork City Watch
Ankh-Morpork City Watch
The Ankh-Morpork City Watch is a fictional police force within the Discworld series of books by Terry Pratchett. It is based in the city-state of Ankh-Morpork on the Discworld. The Watch was originally two units, the Day Watch and the Night Watch which were combined after the events of Men at Arms...
in particular has flourished, and is an excellent example of the adaptability which has kept Vetinari in office. When he rose to power, the Night Watch consisted of three incompetents led by a drunk, and that was just how he wanted it (the rationale behind this being that if police want to reduce crime they have to work harder, if criminals want to reduce crime they take a day off). Now, it is a large, efficient, well-oiled anti-crime machine, and that appears now to be just how he wants it. One may speculate that while Vetinari basically has a watchmaker's vision of the state, with everything in perfect balance and needing only the occasional drop of fine oil, he is actually pragmatic enough to appreciate that it requires to be kept in trim with a heavy hammer, aka Samuel Vimes.
Ankh-Morpork has given birth to the first newspaper, the Ankh-Morpork Times (The Truth
The Truth (novel)
The Truth is the twenty-fifth Discworld novel by Terry Pratchett, published in 2000.The book features the coming of movable type to Ankh-Morpork, and the founding of the Discworld's first newspaper by William de Worde, as he invents investigative journalism with the help of his reporter Sacharissa...
), while the AM-based Grand Trunk Clacks Company established the first efficient international communication service (The Fifth Elephant
The Fifth Elephant
The Fifth Elephant is the 24th Discworld novel by Terry Pratchett. It introduces the clacks, a long-distance semaphore system. The novel was nominated for the Locus Award in 2000.-Plot summary:...
).
More recently, he has put into place Moist von Lipwig
Moist von Lipwig
Moist von Lipwig is a fictional character from Terry Pratchett's Discworld series. He is the protagonist of the novels Going Postal and Making Money.-Background and execution:Little is known about Moist von Lipwig's past...
, who revamped the postal service without costing the taxpayers anything (Going Postal
Going Postal
Going Postal is Terry Pratchett's 33rd Discworld novel, released in the United Kingdom on September 25, 2004. Unlike most of Pratchett's Discworld novels, Going Postal is divided into chapters, a feature previously seen only in Pratchett's children's books and the Science of Discworld series...
). During this, he invents stamps, which were the closest thing Ankh-Morpork had to banknotes until said form of currency made their debut in Making Money
Making Money
Making Money is a Terry Pratchett novel in the Discworld series, first published in the UK on 20 September 2007. It is the second novel featuring Moist von Lipwig, and involves the Ankh-Morpork mint and specifically the introduction of paper money to the city...
(again by von Lipwig).
At some point between Thud! and Making Money, Vetinari has begun plans for a phenomenal redevelopment project of Ankh Morpork titled 'The Undertaking' – this seems to have been inspired by the discovery in Thud! of an ancient perpetual motion
Perpetual motion
Perpetual motion describes hypothetical machines that operate or produce useful work indefinitely and, more generally, hypothetical machines that produce more work or energy than they consume, whether they might operate indefinitely or not....
engine – a twin of one which according to Carrot Ironfoundersson powers all of the machinery in one of the largest mines in Uberwald. Rumors around the Undertaking include mention of 'underground streets', 'waterproof tunnels' and 'new docks'.
Appearance, habits and miscellaneous
Currently in his late forties/early fifties (Sam Vimes noted in Feet of Clay that the Patrician was about the same age as him, and it is shown in Night Watch that he was a student AssassinAssassination
To carry out an assassination is "to murder by a sudden and/or secret attack, often for political reasons." Alternatively, assassination may be defined as "the act of deliberately killing someone, especially a public figure, usually for hire or for political reasons."An assassination may be...
at the time of the main events of the book, when Vimes was 16), Lord Vetinari is tall, thin and dresses all in dusty black, including a black skullcap. His appearance has been likened to that of a predatory flamingo
Flamingo
Flamingos or flamingoes are gregarious wading birds in the genus Phoenicopterus , the only genus in the family Phoenicopteridae...
, if one existed.
His family coat of arms is a plain, simple sable shield, and therefore does not show up against the black coach in which Vetinari travels—-black on black, (upon which Moist von Lipwig
Moist von Lipwig
Moist von Lipwig is a fictional character from Terry Pratchett's Discworld series. He is the protagonist of the novels Going Postal and Making Money.-Background and execution:Little is known about Moist von Lipwig's past...
in Going Postal
Going Postal
Going Postal is Terry Pratchett's 33rd Discworld novel, released in the United Kingdom on September 25, 2004. Unlike most of Pratchett's Discworld novels, Going Postal is divided into chapters, a feature previously seen only in Pratchett's children's books and the Science of Discworld series...
comments that "you had to admit that the bastard had style.") His family motto
Motto
A motto is a phrase meant to formally summarize the general motivation or intention of a social group or organization. A motto may be in any language, but Latin is the most used. The local language is usual in the mottoes of governments...
is Si non confectus, non reficiat (If it ain't broke, don't fix it).
Lord Vetinari lives and works in the Patrician's Palace
Palace
A palace is a grand residence, especially a royal residence or the home of a head of state or some other high-ranking dignitary, such as a bishop or archbishop. The word itself is derived from the Latin name Palātium, for Palatine Hill, one of the seven hills in Rome. In many parts of Europe, the...
, which used to be the Royal Winter Palace. He sits on a plain wooden chair at the feet of the Golden Throne of Ankh, (much like the Steward of Gondor
Gondor
Gondor is a fictional kingdom in J. R. R. Tolkien's writings, described as the greatest realm of Men in the west of Middle-earth by the end of the Third Age. The third volume of The Lord of the Rings, The Return of the King, is concerned with the events in Gondor during the War of the Ring and with...
in The Lord of the Rings
The Lord of the Rings
The Lord of the Rings is a high fantasy epic written by English philologist and University of Oxford professor J. R. R. Tolkien. The story began as a sequel to Tolkien's earlier, less complex children's fantasy novel The Hobbit , but eventually developed into a much larger work. It was written in...
). The Throne remains untouched despite being made of gold, (in Ankh Morpork,) and behind it is the original crown, which is actually gold foil over now-rotten-through wood.
He accepts interviews in the Oblong Office, (a reference to the White House
White House
The White House is the official residence and principal workplace of the president of the United States. Located at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW in Washington, D.C., the house was designed by Irish-born James Hoban, and built between 1792 and 1800 of white-painted Aquia sandstone in the Neoclassical...
's Oval Office
Oval Office
The Oval Office, located in the West Wing of the White House, is the official office of the President of the United States.The room features three large south-facing windows behind the president's desk, and a fireplace at the north end...
). Notably he does not request, or even demand the presence of any of his citizens, but merely has them informed that they "have an appointment with him," and they are promptly escorted to said appointment. When Vetinari considers the meeting ended, he usually dismisses his visitors with the phrase "don't let me detain you." The inherent implication being that he just might if they let him.
He holds meetings in the Rats Chamber, so named because of its fresco
Fresco
Fresco is any of several related mural painting types, executed on plaster on walls or ceilings. The word fresco comes from the Greek word affresca which derives from the Latin word for "fresh". Frescoes first developed in the ancient world and continued to be popular through the Renaissance...
of dancing rat
Rat
Rats are various medium-sized, long-tailed rodents of the superfamily Muroidea. "True rats" are members of the genus Rattus, the most important of which to humans are the black rat, Rattus rattus, and the brown rat, Rattus norvegicus...
s on the ceiling, (a play on the Star Chamber
Star Chamber
The Star Chamber was an English court of law that sat at the royal Palace of Westminster until 1641. It was made up of Privy Counsellors, as well as common-law judges and supplemented the activities of the common-law and equity courts in both civil and criminal matters...
and the German
German language
German is a West Germanic language, related to and classified alongside English and Dutch. With an estimated 90 – 98 million native speakers, German is one of the world's major languages and is the most widely-spoken first language in the European Union....
Ratskammer, which literally means 'council chamber'). Occupants report that spending any time in the room makes one want to leave and go have a good long bath.
His bedroom is spartan
Spartan
A Spartan is a person from the Greek city Sparta or the ancient Greek city-state of the same name. In the latter context, the term "Spartan" in its most technical sense refers to a member of the Spartiate caste and under some usages also encompasses the class of mothakes, residents of Sparta who...
; containing little more than a narrow bed and a few battered cupboards. He apparently requires so little sleep and gets up so early that going to bed is merely an excuse to change his clothes ("He has a bedroom. He presumably sleeps" The New Discworld Companion). He is known to always be in his office at very late, (or perhaps early,) hours, apparently just coinciding with when someone wishes to see him and he wishes to see them. He is not often described as sleeping, (exceptions are in Jingo
Jingo (novel)
Jingo is the 21st novel by Terry Pratchett, one of his Discworld series. It was published in 1997. The rising of a previously submerged island and the subconstituent sovereignty dispute were inspired by the real-life island of Ferdinandea.-Plot:...
and The Truth
The Truth (novel)
The Truth is the twenty-fifth Discworld novel by Terry Pratchett, published in 2000.The book features the coming of movable type to Ankh-Morpork, and the founding of the Discworld's first newspaper by William de Worde, as he invents investigative journalism with the help of his reporter Sacharissa...
), although he has been unconscious several times.
He has one known relative (Lady Roberta "Bobbi" Meserole, his aunt) who may come from Genua and now lives in Pseudopolis. She appears to share his forte for subtle
Subtle
Subtle may refer to:*Subtle , a musical group consisting of members of the anticon. hip-hop collective*Doctor Subtilis, John Duns Scotus*Subtle body, an idea in mysticism...
politics
Politics
Politics is a process by which groups of people make collective decisions. The term is generally applied to the art or science of running governmental or state affairs, including behavior within civil governments, but also applies to institutions, fields, and special interest groups such as the...
. His father apparently died while Havelock was still young, and, according to his aunt, took things much less seriously than his son does.
Vetinari has no lust for power. The sole reason for his ruling the city is that he is fiercely loyal to it, although it is also at times been implied that he does it because it amuses him to do so, in the sense that he enjoys outwitting all the people who try to oppose him. He also has no exploitable vices, barring a strange fondness for candied jellyfish
Jellyfish
Jellyfish are free-swimming members of the phylum Cnidaria. Medusa is another word for jellyfish, and refers to any free-swimming jellyfish stages in the phylum Cnidaria...
– mentioned in the early books but believed by some to be referring to a previous Patrician (see Bibliography). Compared to the previous Patricians of the city, Vetinari appears to be remarkably normal. The only exception to this is his pathological hatred of street mime artists, but this is largely accepted as an acceptable quirk.
It was established in Guards!, Guards! that Vetinari can communicate with the palace rats. These rats have sentience
Sentience
Sentience is the ability to feel, perceive or be conscious, or to have subjective experiences. Eighteenth century philosophers used the concept to distinguish the ability to think from the ability to feel . In modern western philosophy, sentience is the ability to have sensations or experiences...
because of the magic from the Unseen University
Unseen University
The Unseen University is a school of wizardry in Terry Pratchett's Discworld series of fantasy novels. Located in the city of Ankh-Morpork, the UU is staffed by a faculty composed of mostly indolent and inept old wizards. The university's name is a pun on the Invisible College...
. The rats are now loyal to him because he provided them military advice that, after a conflict with the snakes and scorpions that also inhabited the dungeons, allowed them to become dominant vermin of the palace. As seen in the book, during his imprisonment, the rats have trouble with specific wording and Vetinari ends up with a book on lacemaking in place of the one he desires. He takes the opportunity to learn lace construction anyway, on the principle that one never knows when such a thing may be useful.
Vetinari also enjoys reading written music rather than listening to it performed, because the idea of it being performed by people, with all the sweat
SWEAT
SWEAT is an OLN/TSN show hosted by Julie Zwillich that aired in 2003-2004.Each of the 13 half-hour episodes of SWEAT features a different outdoor sport: kayaking, mountain biking, ice hockey, beach volleyball, soccer, windsurfing, rowing, Ultimate, triathlon, wakeboarding, snowboarding, telemark...
and saliva
Saliva
Saliva , referred to in various contexts as spit, spittle, drivel, drool, or slobber, is the watery substance produced in the mouths of humans and most other animals. Saliva is a component of oral fluid. In mammals, saliva is produced in and secreted from the three pairs of major salivary glands,...
involved, strikes him as distasteful.
Though he excels at the Discworld's equivalent of sudoku
Sudoku
is a logic-based, combinatorial number-placement puzzle. The objective is to fill a 9×9 grid with digits so that each column, each row, and each of the nine 3×3 sub-grids that compose the grid contains all of the digits from 1 to 9...
, Jikan no Muda (無駄の時間; Literally, "Waste of Time" in Japanese
Japanese language
is a language spoken by over 130 million people in Japan and in Japanese emigrant communities. It is a member of the Japonic language family, which has a number of proposed relationships with other languages, none of which has gained wide acceptance among historical linguists .Japanese is an...
), and can solve them after glancing at any grid for a few seconds, he finds them unsatisfying, as numbers are too easy to outwit. He enjoys crosswords far more, as one needs to comprehend how another person's mind works when actively trying to mislead. He has found great pleasure in the work of 'The Blind Letter Office' at the Post Office, helping to decipher the nigh-illegible gibberish that some of Ankh-Morpork's less educated citizenry address their letters with - for example working out casually that 'Duzbuns Hopsit pfarmarrsc' equals 'K. Whistler, Baker, 3 Pigsty Hill' (Does Buns Opposite the Pharmacy). The men employed for this job are successful in 'translating' five addresses out of every six and view Vetinari's casual skill at it with something approaching awe.
Lord Vetinari also has a strange clock in his waiting-room. While it does keep completely accurate time overall, it sometimes ticks and tocks out of sync (example: "tick, tock... ticktocktick, tock...") and occasionally misses a tick or tock altogether, which has the net effect of turning one's brain "into a sort of porridge". (Feet of Clay, Going Postal). In Feet of Clay Vimes observes that it must have cost him quite a lot of money.
It has been suggested that Vetinari may not be entirely human, though this is primarily because of his methods and personality, as opposed to any sort of physical proof (although in The Fifth Elephant, Lady Margolotta was surprised at his lack of aging). Vetinari admits to being "drunk as a skunk" after a banquet at Unseen University, but continues to be startlingly lucid and eloquent. The only discernible manifestation of his drunkenness: it takes him 50 seconds longer to solve the Ankh-Morpork Times daily crossword (Unseen Academicals
Unseen Academicals
Unseen Academicals is the 37th novel in Terry Pratchett's Discworld series. The novel satirises football , and features Mustrum Ridcully setting up an Unseen University football team, with the Librarian in goal. It includes new details about "below stairs" life at the university...
).
Pets
He did keep a pet, a sixteen-year old wire-haired terrierFox Terrier (Wire)
The Wire Fox Terrier is a breed of dog, one of many terrier breeds. It is an instantly recognizable fox terrier breed. Although it bears a resemblance to the Smooth Fox Terrier, they are believed to have been developed separately.-Appearance:...
called Wuffles. It is said that Wuffles is the only living creature Lord Vetinari actually cares about (unless Ankh-Morpork is considered a living creature). Wuffles has been described as very elderly in two books that take place many years apart. In the novel Making Money, it is shown that Wuffles has, at some recent point, died; reinforcing Vetinari's affection for the dog is the rumor that every week he makes a short (and via a different path) walk to Wuffles' small grave in the palace grounds, every time leaving a dog biscuit, though this may be entirely untrue, or may simply be done to add a layer of apparent human weakness to those seeking one.
As of Making Money he is now caring for another dog - 'Mr Fusspot', the former pet of the late Topsy Lavish, née Turvy, Chairwoman of the Royal Bank and Mint. Thanks to an unusual will and Topsy's contempt for her in-law
In-law
In-law may refer to:*Affinity , kinship by marriage, such as a**Mother-in-law**Father-in-law**Brother-in-law**Sister-in-law**Daughter-in-law**Son-in-law**Cousin-in-law**Uncle-in-law**Aunt-in-law**Nephew-in-law**Niece-in-law...
s; the rest of the Lavish family, Mr Fusspot is formally and legally the current Chairman. This leads to the debate whether this gives Vetinari control of the bank and mint, since Topsy's will states the person caring for Mr. Fusspot is also the executor of 'the chairman's' wishes for both concerns. The authority rested in Moist Von Lipwig, the current Master Of The Mint and temporary caretaker of Mr Fusspot before Vetinari adopted/seized/confiscated the dog. There has been concern over Vetinari's caring of the dog, though no one wishes to risk raising the issue with him.
Other media
Lord Vetinari was played by Crawford LoganCrawford Logan
Crawford Logan is a British actor best known for his work in radio. In 2006 he became the latest actor to play the eponymous hero Paul Temple in a revival of the long-running mystery series on BBC radio. In 2009 he narrated the BBC Radio 4 Book of the Week, Newton and the Counterfeiter by Thomas...
in the 1992 BBC Radio 4
BBC Radio 4
BBC Radio 4 is a British domestic radio station, operated and owned by the BBC, that broadcasts a wide variety of spoken-word programmes, including news, drama, comedy, science and history. It replaced the BBC Home Service in 1967. The station controller is currently Gwyneth Williams, and the...
adaptation of Guards! Guards!
Guards! Guards!
Guards! Guards! is the eighth Discworld novel by Terry Pratchett, first published in 1989. It is the first novel about the City Watch. The first Discworld computer game borrowed heavily from Guards! Guards! in terms of plot.-Plot:...
.
Pratchett's own choice of actor to play Vetinari is Alan Rickman
Alan Rickman
Alan Sidney Patrick Rickman is an English actor and theatre director. He is a renowned stage actor in modern and classical productions and a former member of the Royal Shakespeare Company...
, specified as 'the bad guy from Die Hard
Die Hard
Die Hard is a 1988 American action film and the first in the Die Hard film series. The film was directed by John McTiernan and written by Jeb Stuart and Steven E. de Souza. It is based on a 1979 novel by Roderick Thorp titled Nothing Lasts Forever, itself a sequel to the book The Detective, which...
'.
However, in the Colour of Magic TV movie
The Colour of Magic (TV film)
The Colour of Magic is a two-part television adaptation of the bestselling novels The Colour of Magic and The Light Fantastic by Terry Pratchett. The fantasy film was produced for Sky One by The Mob, a small British studio, starring David Jason, Sean Astin, Tim Curry and Christopher Lee as the...
, the Patrician was portrayed as Vetinari by Jeremy Irons
Jeremy Irons
Jeremy John Irons is an English actor. After receiving classical training at the Bristol Old Vic Theatre School, Irons began his acting career on stage in 1969, and has since appeared in many London theatre productions including The Winter's Tale, Macbeth, Much Ado About Nothing, The Taming of the...
, 'the bad guy from the other Die Hard (with a Vengeance).'
In Going Postal TV movie, he was played by Charles Dance
Charles Dance
Walter Charles Dance, OBE is an English actor, screenwriter and director. Dance typically plays assertive bureaucrats or villains. His most famous roles are Guy Perron in The Jewel in the Crown , Dr Clemens, the doctor of penitentiary Fury 161, who becomes Ellen Ripley's confidante in Alien 3 ,...
.
External links
- A Special Kind of Person, a web site concerning Lord Vetinari.
- Discworld & Pratchett Wiki