I don't believe in hell. I believe in unemployment, but not hell.

You know, I could lay a big line on you and we could do a lot of role playing, but the simple truth is, is that I find you very interesting and I'd really like to make love to you.

[in her audition] Oh I know what y'all really want is some gross, caricature of a woman to prove some idiotic point that power makes a woman masculine, or masculine women are ugly. Well shame on you for letting a man do that, or any man that does that. That means you, dear. Miss Marshall. Shame on you, you macho shit head.

[to April, dressed only in bra and panties] What kind of mother would I be if I didn't give my girls tits... tips?

[waking up and seeing Michael as Dorothy] Mom?

I'm just afraid that you're going to burn in Hell for all this.

I don't like when somebody comes up to me the next day and says, "Hey, man, I saw your play. It touched me; I cried." I like it when a guy comes up to me a week later and says, "Hey, man, I saw your play... what happened?"

I think we're getting into a weird area here.

You slut.

That is one nutty hospital.