Indian wedding
Encyclopedia
Love marriage
A love marriage is a union of two individuals based upon mutual love, affection, commitment and attraction. While the term has little discrete meaning in the Western world, where most marriages are considered to be 'based in love,' the term has meaning elsewhere to indicate a concept of marriage...
s", in which the partners decide to marry each other without family involvement or assistance. The traditional Indian wedding is about two families being brought together socially, with as much emphasis placed on the families concerned coming closer as the individuals involved.
Many of the wedding customs are common among Hindus, Jains, Sikhs, and even Muslims. They are a combination of local, religious, and family traditions.The period of Hindu marriage ceremonies dates from the presenting tilak, and is called lagan/[shaadi].
South Asian weddings are a mainstay in the social calendar of the whole community. Many wedding traditions which have originated in India
India
India , officially the Republic of India , is a country in South Asia. It is the seventh-largest country by geographical area, the second-most populous country with over 1.2 billion people, and the most populous democracy in the world...
, Pakistan
Pakistan
Pakistan , officially the Islamic Republic of Pakistan is a sovereign state in South Asia. It has a coastline along the Arabian Sea and the Gulf of Oman in the south and is bordered by Afghanistan and Iran in the west, India in the east and China in the far northeast. In the north, Tajikistan...
and Bangladesh
Bangladesh
Bangladesh , officially the People's Republic of Bangladesh is a sovereign state located in South Asia. It is bordered by India on all sides except for a small border with Burma to the far southeast and by the Bay of Bengal to the south...
have carried over to second and third generation immigrant populations in western countries such as the UK and United States. Increasingly, younger Asian couples are starting to incorporate Western features into their weddings, such as speeches, the first dance
First dance
The first dance is an element in a number of traditions, being an opening of a certain dance function: ball, prom, etc.-Balls:In the context of balls, the term "first dance" has two meanings....
, as well as the traditional wedding cake.
The preparation for South Asian weddings is typically a lavish affair - estimated at costing on average £30,000 in the UK compared to an average of £17,000.
Traditions
WeddingWedding
A wedding is the ceremony in which two people are united in marriage or a similar institution. Wedding traditions and customs vary greatly between cultures, ethnic groups, religions, countries, and social classes...
tradition
Tradition
A tradition is a ritual, belief or object passed down within a society, still maintained in the present, with origins in the past. Common examples include holidays or impractical but socially meaningful clothes , but the idea has also been applied to social norms such as greetings...
s vary across religion, caste
Caste
Caste is an elaborate and complex social system that combines elements of endogamy, occupation, culture, social class, tribal affiliation and political power. It should not be confused with race or social class, e.g. members of different castes in one society may belong to the same race, as in India...
, ethnicity, language, region, etc.
Traditional Indian weddings are generally structured into pre-wedding ceremonies
Ceremony
A ceremony is an event of ritual significance, performed on a special occasion. The word may be of Etruscan origin.-Ceremonial occasions:A ceremony may mark a rite of passage in a human life, marking the significance of, for example:* birth...
, wedding day ceremonies (consisting of the Baraat
Baraat
Baraat is a bridegroom's wedding procession in India and Pakistan. In Indian communities, it is customary for the bridegroom to travel to the wedding venue on a mare, accompanied by his family members....
, the Varmala
Varmala
A varmala or jaimala is an Indian wedding garland symbolic of the popular marriage ceremony. Following regional traditions, the varmala might be made of rose flowers and/or other ceremonial stuff decorating it. The additives range from Rupee notes to other flowers to other family based traditions....
and the Satphere
Satphere
The sat phere is one of the most important features of the Hindu wedding, involving seven rounds around a pious fire lit for the purpose amidst the Vedic mantras. The bride and groom circumambulate a consecrated fire seven times, reciting specific vows with each circuit...
), and the Vidaai. When the marriage has been agreed upon, the father of the bridegroom visits the father of the bride. The day before the expected arrival of the marriage procession, lavish preparations are done by the family to receive the groom (shaadi ki tayaari) in beautiful and decorated venues, typically farmhouses or hotel halls, where a sacrificial fireplace called marhwa is built. Brides decorate themselves by wearing gold and diamond jewellery, apply [mehndi] to colour hands and feet, and undergo various bridal makeups, including wearing bridal lehenga or saree. Bridegrooms typically wear a [sherwani] dress or a designer suit. To complete the marriage, the bride and groom move in circles around the sacrificial fire, called phera.
Vidaai is when the bride is formally sent to the groom’s household. It can get quite emotional even for the most stonehearted. Many heart-wrenching songs have immortalized this moment when the bride leaves her ‘babul ka ghar’ or father’s house
An example of the complexity of an Indian wedding can be seen from the various phases of a wedding in North India
North India
North India, known natively as Uttar Bhārat or Shumālī Hindustān , is a loosely defined region in the northern part of India. The exact meaning of the term varies by usage...
. The following events take place in a typical Eastern Uttar Pradesh
Uttar Pradesh
Uttar Pradesh abbreviation U.P. , is a state located in the northern part of India. With a population of over 200 million people, it is India's most populous state, as well as the world's most populous sub-national entity...
Hindu marriage:
According to Hindu religious texts, Brahma created man from the right shoulder and woman from his left shoulder. A woman is referred to as Vamangi or one who is on the left side. Throughout the marriage ceremony the bride sits on the right side of the groom. That is the place for strangers and acquaintances. Only after the Saptpadi, when the bride and groom have exchanged marital vows, is the wife seated on the left side of the man.
The bride and groom are told about their duties and responsibilities in married life by priest. These vows direct the couple to a positive path of action. They help in promoting marital happiness for a lifetime.
Vows by the Husband
- I will consider my wife to be The better half. I will look after her just as I look after myself.
- Accepting her as in-charge of my home, I shall plan things in consultation with her.
- I will never express dissatisfaction about any shortcomings in my wife. If there are any, I will explain them to her lovingly. I will support her in overcoming them.
- I will always have faith in my wife. I will never look at another woman with wrong intent, nor have an illicit relationship.
- I will be affectionate and treat my wife like a friend.
- I will bring home all my income to my wife. The household expenses will be incurred with her consent. I will always make an effort to ensure her comfort and happiness.
- I will not find fault or criticize my wife before others. We will sort out our differences and mistakes in privacy by ourselves.
- I will have a courteous and tolerant attitude towards my wife. I will always follow a compromising policy.
- If my wife is unwell, or is unable to fulfill some of the responsibilities or through some misunderstanding behaves wrongly, I will not withdraw support or refuse to fulfill my responsibilities towards her.
Kanyadaan
During kanyadaan, the bride’s parents give their daughter away in marriage. The groom makes three promises – to be just (dharma), earn sufficiently to support his family, (artha) and love his wife (kama). He repeats these vows thrice in the presence of Agni (the sacred fire) and all who are gathered there.Bariksha
Bariksha is when the bride's parents have informally shown intentions that they want a particular groom, and the groom and his family have agreed. Retracting at the end of this stage is frowned upon but is acceptable. Once the wedding has been decided on by both sides, the bride's family goes and does Badcheka/ Bariksha of the groom. This is when the bride's father and brothers go to the groom's side with sweets (including a coconut) and some pooja items like rice and turmeric. This ceremony is a token gesture to confirm the alliance and signifies that the groom is now "taken" and can no longer look for other prospective brides.Tilak
Tilak involves the bride's parents traveling to the groom's family home to formalise the relationship. A large feast is organised by the groom's family to celebrate this occasion. Only a nominal number of members of the bride's family are present (usually only very close relatives, often in tens of numbers). Typically, the female marriage proposal is very rare.Byaha Haath
Byaha Haath: This ceremony signifies the purifying of the mind, body and soul of bride and groom. This daytime ceremony prepares both of them for the nuptials. 'Uptan' is a mixed paste of sandalwood, turmeric and rose water which is applied by seven unmarried female members of the families to the faces, hands and feet of the bride and groom. After this ceremony the bride and the groom are not allowed to step outside the house before the actual wedding.Flower bed ceremony
In the flower bed ceremony, the bride wears a lot of floral ornaments and the marriage bed is decorated with flowers by the groom's family. This is the night of consummationConsummate
Consummation or consummation of a marriage, in many traditions and statutes of civil or religious law, is the first act of sexual intercourse between two individuals, following their marriage to each other...
. In Muslim marriages, this takes place on the night of the wedding. In Hindu marriages, this takes place on the night of the reception.
Further reading
- Mehta, Prakash Chandra (2005). Marriages in Indian society. Discovery Publishing House, New Delhi, India. ISBN 8171419216.