Guy Secretan
Encyclopedia
Guy Secretan is a character in the British
sitcom Green Wing
, played by Stephen Mangan
. In Channel 4's
The World's Greatest Comedy Characters, Guy was voted 34th.
. His father was Fabien Leclerq, a skiing instructor from Gstaad
. His mother is Joanna Clore
, director of human resources
at the same hospital, who had sex with Leclercq as a 15-year-old exchange student, but abandoned Guy when he was two days old.
He lived in Switzerland until he was four with his adopted father, who worked for the Gnomes of Zurich
(who Guy seems to think are a family of bankers akin to the Rothschilds). From there he moved to London, and to Whiteleaf Public School, where he stayed for twelve years (1977–1990), an experience he hated.
It is believed that while there he invented the sport of Guyball
which seems to be named after him, though he has never admitted to doing so. The object of the game is to throw balls in a "Topmiler", a wicker basket on top of a leather flying helmet.
His personal life is well known around the hospital. He is an arrogant womanizer, having slept with several people in the hospital, including staff liaison officer Sue White
, Naughty Rachel who works in human resources, Dr. "Mac" Macartney's
ex-girlfriend Holly Hawkes (they slept together before she and Mac became a couple), and even accidentally sleeping with his mother Joanna, before discovering that they were mother and son.
After he discovered that he had unintentionally committed incest
, Guy stole an ambulance in a drunken rage, taking Martin Dear
and Mac with him, and almost drove them over a cliff. The incident resulted in Guy losing his driving license, as well as being temporarily suspended from work.
Guy keeps a league table of the female members of staff, rating their appearance, nature and sexiness. He also once objected to resuscitating a woman with A-Cup size breasts. According to junior doctor Boyce
, Guy thought that it was "Not worth saving less than a handful".
One person with whom Guy had been persistently romantically unsuccessful was with surgical registrar
Dr. Caroline Todd. On Caroline's first day at the hospital, Guy invited her over to his flat (22 Eagle House) claiming, falsely, that he had a spare room. Guy failed in his attempt to sleep with her, but that did not stop him from spreading rumours to the contrary. However, Guy later developed true love for Caroline. She understood his traumatic childhood, claiming the reason he never wears a mask during operations was because he had an emotional mask; protecting his true feelings.
He has also later moved in as Caroline's lodger after Dr. Angela Hunter left. During this time, Guy's feelings for Caroline grew, even throwing a Swiss Army knife
at Jake Leaf so he wouldn't kiss Caroline while they were on a date, with the knife stabbing Jake in the head.
Guy then managed to propose to Caroline, which she accepted. However, as a gesture of goodwill, Guy allowed Mac to marry Caroline before Mac died. Guy would then marry Caroline after Mac's death. After he made this announcement, he was somewhat shocked by the fact he did something good. Guy was Mac's best man at the wedding.
Other miscellaneous information known about him: He does not like curry
, old people, children, hippies, farmers and hairdressers. People often remark he looks like a donkey
, more particularly the donkey from Shrek
. He also does not like plastic surgery, claiming that he, "Never met a woman yet who doesn't look better with my bollocks resting on her chin - 100% improvement right there." He drives a Toyota Celica
GT. He has an odd taste in nightwear
. He understands some derogatory sign language
. He is also very good at building sandcastle
s and can ride a jet ski
. Whenever he is depressed he wears "The Crown of Confidence" to cheer himself up (this also worked on Caroline). He also sports a tattoo of a Friesian cow on his chest, which he got in an attempt to impress Caroline after mishearing that she liked freesia
s. According to Green Wing - The Complete First Series Scripts, Guy's favorite homosexual men are Alexander the Greek, Alan Turing
, Oscar Wilde
and Kenny Everett
.
Guy's love for Caroline is the only serious threat to his friendship with Mac, for instance telling Mac that him and Caroline hated each other after Mac lost his memory (albeit being blackmailed by Sue, Mac believed he did it because he wanted Caroline for himself). Although Guy rarely shows any emotion, he seemed genuinely upset when Mac told him of his terminal illness. Boyce even persuaded him to give up his marriage with Caroline and do the right thing, so for the first time Guy did the right thing and told Caroline to marry Mac before he died. Guy was the best man at the wedding.
Guy becomes Caroline's new lodger after Angela leaves, and tries to prevent her from dating anyone, even stabbing someone. When she brings Jake Leaf back, he throws a Swiss Army Knife at him from an upstairs window, stabbing him in the head. Caroline and Guy also kiss after playing poker, and Caroline finds herself enjoying it. Caroline is also the only person who understands Guy's troubled childhood and his inner insecurities. When Guy asks Caroline to marry him, she says she will think about it. Later in the day, when she is supposed to be meeting Mac at the train station, it is Guy that she meets, and because Mac had seemingly stood her up, she decided to marry Guy. However, when Mac later returns and tells Guy he is dying, Guy selflessly pushes Caroline to marry him, instead.
Sue has before had the upper hand over Guy, for instance when she bought him in a slave auction and forced him to wear a blonde wig and pretend to be Mac. She also once had the sex tape of Guy and Joanna in her possession and used it to blackmail Guy into breaking up Caroline's relationship with Mac, but he did not succeed, as Boyce told Mac he and Caroline actually got on.
Afterwards, they try to avoid each other, but Joanna has to be present at Guy's tribunal. During the tribunal, Guy mentions that "On the plus side, I should be getting my Noel Coward style dressing gown back", a remark which makes Joanna bang her head on the table in distress. He also frequently makes freudian slips whenever he has to encounter her after the incident.
United Kingdom
The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern IrelandIn the United Kingdom and Dependencies, other languages have been officially recognised as legitimate autochthonous languages under the European Charter for Regional or Minority Languages...
sitcom Green Wing
Green Wing
Green Wing is a British sitcom set in the fictional East Hampton Hospital. It was created by the same team behind the sketch show Smack the Pony, led by Victoria Pile, and stars Tamsin Greig, Stephen Mangan and Julian Rhind-Tutt....
, played by Stephen Mangan
Stephen Mangan
Stephen Mangan is an English actor, best known for his roles as Guy Secretan in the television series Green Wing, Dan Moody in I'm Alan Partridge and as Holistic Detective Dirk Gently in the 2010 BBC adaptation of Douglas Adams' book Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency, as well as Sean Lincoln...
. In Channel 4's
Channel 4
Channel 4 is a British public-service television broadcaster which began working on 2 November 1982. Although largely commercially self-funded, it is ultimately publicly owned; originally a subsidiary of the Independent Broadcasting Authority , the station is now owned and operated by the Channel...
The World's Greatest Comedy Characters, Guy was voted 34th.
History
Guy is an anaesthetist working at East Hampton Hospital. He was born in SwitzerlandSwitzerland
Switzerland name of one of the Swiss cantons. ; ; ; or ), in its full name the Swiss Confederation , is a federal republic consisting of 26 cantons, with Bern as the seat of the federal authorities. The country is situated in Western Europe,Or Central Europe depending on the definition....
. His father was Fabien Leclerq, a skiing instructor from Gstaad
Gstaad
Gstaad is a village in the German-speaking section of the Canton of Berne in southwestern Switzerland. Part of the municipality of Saanen, Gstaad is known as one of the most exclusive ski resorts in the world....
. His mother is Joanna Clore
Joanna Clore
Joanna Clore is a character in the British sitcom Green Wing, played by Pippa Haywood.- History :Joanna Clore is the director of human resources at East Hampton Hospital. She is 48 years old, has had two unsuccessful marriages, has two sons who both work at the hospital Dr. Guy Secretan and Dr....
, director of human resources
Human resources
Human resources is a term used to describe the individuals who make up the workforce of an organization, although it is also applied in labor economics to, for example, business sectors or even whole nations...
at the same hospital, who had sex with Leclercq as a 15-year-old exchange student, but abandoned Guy when he was two days old.
He lived in Switzerland until he was four with his adopted father, who worked for the Gnomes of Zurich
Gnomes of Zürich
Gnomes of Zürich is a disparaging term for Swiss bankers.Swiss bankers are popularly associated with extremely secretive policies, while gnomes in fairy tales live underground, in secret, counting their riches...
(who Guy seems to think are a family of bankers akin to the Rothschilds). From there he moved to London, and to Whiteleaf Public School, where he stayed for twelve years (1977–1990), an experience he hated.
It is believed that while there he invented the sport of Guyball
Guyball
Guyball is a fictional game featured in the British sitcom Green Wing. The rules of Guyball are never fully explained, and are designed to be as confusing and as difficult to understand as possible. However, Green Wing fans have attempted to create their own rules and Guyball societies...
which seems to be named after him, though he has never admitted to doing so. The object of the game is to throw balls in a "Topmiler", a wicker basket on top of a leather flying helmet.
His personal life is well known around the hospital. He is an arrogant womanizer, having slept with several people in the hospital, including staff liaison officer Sue White
Sue White
Susan 'Sue' White is a character in the British sitcom Green Wing, played by Michelle Gomez.-Overview:Sue White is the hospital's staff liaison officer, who describes her role as being "to soothe, to bathe, to listen to the worker's woes"...
, Naughty Rachel who works in human resources, Dr. "Mac" Macartney's
Mac (Green Wing)
Dr Macartney or Dr Mac is a character in the British sitcom Green Wing, played by Julian Rhind-Tutt.- History :Often simply referred to as "Mac", Dr Macartney is a surgeon working in the fictional East Hampton Hospital...
ex-girlfriend Holly Hawkes (they slept together before she and Mac became a couple), and even accidentally sleeping with his mother Joanna, before discovering that they were mother and son.
After he discovered that he had unintentionally committed incest
Incest
Incest is sexual intercourse between close relatives that is usually illegal in the jurisdiction where it takes place and/or is conventionally considered a taboo. The term may apply to sexual activities between: individuals of close "blood relationship"; members of the same household; step...
, Guy stole an ambulance in a drunken rage, taking Martin Dear
Martin Dear
Martin Dear is a character in the British sitcom Green Wing, played by Karl Theobald.- History :Martin is a house officer at East Hampton Hospital. His mother is human resources director Joanna Clore and his half-brother is Dr. Guy Secretan....
and Mac with him, and almost drove them over a cliff. The incident resulted in Guy losing his driving license, as well as being temporarily suspended from work.
Guy keeps a league table of the female members of staff, rating their appearance, nature and sexiness. He also once objected to resuscitating a woman with A-Cup size breasts. According to junior doctor Boyce
Boyce (Green Wing)
Boyce is a character in the British sitcom Green Wing, played by Oliver Chris.- History :Boyce is a medical student at East Hampton Hospital. He is currently being trained as a doctor by the more senior members, including Dr...
, Guy thought that it was "Not worth saving less than a handful".
One person with whom Guy had been persistently romantically unsuccessful was with surgical registrar
Specialist registrar
A Specialist Registrar or SpR is a doctor in the United Kingdom and Republic of Ireland who is receiving advanced training in a specialist field of medicine in order eventually to become a consultant...
Dr. Caroline Todd. On Caroline's first day at the hospital, Guy invited her over to his flat (22 Eagle House) claiming, falsely, that he had a spare room. Guy failed in his attempt to sleep with her, but that did not stop him from spreading rumours to the contrary. However, Guy later developed true love for Caroline. She understood his traumatic childhood, claiming the reason he never wears a mask during operations was because he had an emotional mask; protecting his true feelings.
He has also later moved in as Caroline's lodger after Dr. Angela Hunter left. During this time, Guy's feelings for Caroline grew, even throwing a Swiss Army knife
Swiss Army knife
The Swiss Army knife is a brand of pocket knife or multi-tool manufactured by Victorinox AG and Wenger SA. The term "Swiss Army knife" was coined by US soldiers after World War II due to the difficulty they had in pronouncing the German name....
at Jake Leaf so he wouldn't kiss Caroline while they were on a date, with the knife stabbing Jake in the head.
Guy then managed to propose to Caroline, which she accepted. However, as a gesture of goodwill, Guy allowed Mac to marry Caroline before Mac died. Guy would then marry Caroline after Mac's death. After he made this announcement, he was somewhat shocked by the fact he did something good. Guy was Mac's best man at the wedding.
Other miscellaneous information known about him: He does not like curry
Curry
Curry is a generic description used throughout Western culture to describe a variety of dishes from Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi, Sri Lankan, Thai or other Southeast Asian cuisines...
, old people, children, hippies, farmers and hairdressers. People often remark he looks like a donkey
Donkey
The donkey or ass, Equus africanus asinus, is a domesticated member of the Equidae or horse family. The wild ancestor of the donkey is the African Wild Ass, E...
, more particularly the donkey from Shrek
Shrek
Shrek is a 2001 American computer-animated fantasy comedy film directed by Andrew Adamson and Vicky Jenson, featuring the voices of Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, and John Lithgow. Loosely based on William Steig's 1990 fairy tale picture book Shrek!...
. He also does not like plastic surgery, claiming that he, "Never met a woman yet who doesn't look better with my bollocks resting on her chin - 100% improvement right there." He drives a Toyota Celica
Toyota Celica
The Toyota Celica name has been applied to a series of coupes made by the Japanese company Toyota. The name is ultimately derived from the Latin word coelica meaning "heavenly" or "celestial"....
GT. He has an odd taste in nightwear
Nightwear
Nightwear, also called "sleepwear", "sleeping suit", "nightclothes", or "nightdress", is clothing designed to be worn while sleeping. The style of nightwear worn may vary with the seasons, with eg. warmer styles being worn in colder conditions...
. He understands some derogatory sign language
Sign language
A sign language is a language which, instead of acoustically conveyed sound patterns, uses visually transmitted sign patterns to convey meaning—simultaneously combining hand shapes, orientation and movement of the hands, arms or body, and facial expressions to fluidly express a speaker's...
. He is also very good at building sandcastle
SandCastle
Sandcastle is a documentation generator from Microsoft that automatically produces MSDN style reference documentation out of reflection information of .NET assemblies and XML documentation comments found in the source code of these assemblies...
s and can ride a jet ski
Jet ski
Jet Ski is the brand name of a personal watercraft manufactured by Kawasaki Heavy Industries. The name is sometimes mistakenly used by those unfamiliar with the personal watercraft industry to refer to any type of personal watercraft; however, the name is a valid trademark registered with the...
. Whenever he is depressed he wears "The Crown of Confidence" to cheer himself up (this also worked on Caroline). He also sports a tattoo of a Friesian cow on his chest, which he got in an attempt to impress Caroline after mishearing that she liked freesia
Freesia
Freesia Ecklon ex Klatt is a genus of 14–16 species of flowering plants in the family Iridaceae, native to Africa. Of the 14 species, 12 are native to Cape Province, South Africa, the remaining two to tropical Africa, one species extending north of the equator to Sudan.The genus was named in honor...
s. According to Green Wing - The Complete First Series Scripts, Guy's favorite homosexual men are Alexander the Greek, Alan Turing
Alan Turing
Alan Mathison Turing, OBE, FRS , was an English mathematician, logician, cryptanalyst, and computer scientist. He was highly influential in the development of computer science, providing a formalisation of the concepts of "algorithm" and "computation" with the Turing machine, which played a...
, Oscar Wilde
Oscar Wilde
Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde was an Irish writer and poet. After writing in different forms throughout the 1880s, he became one of London's most popular playwrights in the early 1890s...
and Kenny Everett
Kenny Everett
Kenny Everett was an English comedian, radio DJ and television entertainer. Born Maurice James Christopher Cole, Everett is best known for his career as a radio DJ and for the Kenny Everett television shows.-Early life:...
.
Mac
Guy and Mac act as rivals and have a love/hate relationship, but in reality are quite close friends. They often argue over which of them is better, and who the surgical team belongs to, Guy or Mac. Guy even eats coffee beans to prove he is better than Mac. They also play games such as 'The Spoon of Destiny' to see who is the greatest. Guy even plays Battleships with Mac while he is in coma. Their biggest bet involves Joanna, and Mac bets his first month's consultancy wage that Guy cannot sleep with her. He does so, and films it, which leads to the stolen ambulance scenario when Martin tells him that Joanna is actually his mother. Sue White also gets hold of the tape and uses it to blackmail Guy into sabotaging Caroline and Mac's relationship.Guy's love for Caroline is the only serious threat to his friendship with Mac, for instance telling Mac that him and Caroline hated each other after Mac lost his memory (albeit being blackmailed by Sue, Mac believed he did it because he wanted Caroline for himself). Although Guy rarely shows any emotion, he seemed genuinely upset when Mac told him of his terminal illness. Boyce even persuaded him to give up his marriage with Caroline and do the right thing, so for the first time Guy did the right thing and told Caroline to marry Mac before he died. Guy was the best man at the wedding.
Caroline
Guy finds Caroline attractive, and tries to sleep with her on her first day of work. However, his attempts do not work and despite also spreading rumours about it to the staff, Caroline makes him sign a confession of truth and pins it to the noticeboard. Caroline finds Guy very irritating, but in time she becomes more used to him, even kissing him at her house warming party. He persuades her to go to the countryside with him and ends up making a scene, and he also lies about himself to seem more attractive to her, such as telling her he loves children and can't wait to be a dad.Guy becomes Caroline's new lodger after Angela leaves, and tries to prevent her from dating anyone, even stabbing someone. When she brings Jake Leaf back, he throws a Swiss Army Knife at him from an upstairs window, stabbing him in the head. Caroline and Guy also kiss after playing poker, and Caroline finds herself enjoying it. Caroline is also the only person who understands Guy's troubled childhood and his inner insecurities. When Guy asks Caroline to marry him, she says she will think about it. Later in the day, when she is supposed to be meeting Mac at the train station, it is Guy that she meets, and because Mac had seemingly stood her up, she decided to marry Guy. However, when Mac later returns and tells Guy he is dying, Guy selflessly pushes Caroline to marry him, instead.
Sue
Guy and Sue appear to hate each other. On one occasion, Guy enters Sue's office and says "You know what I like about you? Fuck all." and then leaves without letting her speak. Guy accidentally reveals to Caroline that he and Sue once slept together, something Sue constantly teases him about, resulting in Guy being incredibly rude to Sue.Sue has before had the upper hand over Guy, for instance when she bought him in a slave auction and forced him to wear a blonde wig and pretend to be Mac. She also once had the sex tape of Guy and Joanna in her possession and used it to blackmail Guy into breaking up Caroline's relationship with Mac, but he did not succeed, as Boyce told Mac he and Caroline actually got on.
Martin
Guy constantly bullies Martin. He sometimes randomly picks up Martin and throws him to the ground. He often refers to him as "Fartin". He usually teases Martin and often tells him he looks like a vole, as well as making rude and offensive comments about him, but it does not seem to bother Martin. He also gives Martin ridiculous and irrelevant advice, and even lies to Martin, telling him that he'd passed his exams, when he had in fact failed. Guy also persuaded Martin to drink his urine, claiming "drink my pee, pull like me" when Martin was having trouble flirting with women. However, it was not Guy's urine, Guy had taken it from the pathology lab. He also steals Martin's food, usually secretly taking his yoghurt from the fridge, or his chips right off his plate. One day Martin gets mashed potatoes in an attempt to ward off Guy, but Guy takes it anyway. Guy continued to bully Martin after finding out they were half-brothers.Joanna
Though they rarely spoke, Joanna was quick to agree to sleep with Guy when he offered. Guy offered because of a bet between him and Mac that he couldn't pull Joanna. He takes Joanna back to his flat and has sex with her, but earlier in the day Martin had accidentally opened his letter that stated his biological parents, one of which being Joanna. Martin considers going to Switzerland to re-post the letter, but later just tries to stop him before it's too late, but is unsuccessful. This leads to the ambulance incident.Afterwards, they try to avoid each other, but Joanna has to be present at Guy's tribunal. During the tribunal, Guy mentions that "On the plus side, I should be getting my Noel Coward style dressing gown back", a remark which makes Joanna bang her head on the table in distress. He also frequently makes freudian slips whenever he has to encounter her after the incident.