Down By The Hipster Quotations

This page is a collection of quotations from the era of the ninth official incarnation of the Doctor from the BBC science fiction television programme Doctor Who, during which the role of the Ninth Doctor was played by Christopher Eccleston. As Doctor Who stories in other media (such as books, audio plays, etc) are the subject of intense debate as regarding their place in the series' overall canon, these quotations are taken entirely from episodes broadcast on television.

Catchphrase

"Fantastic!"

In Rose when realizing the London Eye was a giant transmitter.

In The End of the World when realizing there was no other captain or help on Platform One.

In The Unquiet Dead when first seeing the Gelth.

In Aliens of London after seeing the spaceship crash.

In Dalek at the Dalek's inability to shoot The Doctor.

In The Doctor Dances after resolving the nanogene crisis.

In The Parting of the Ways when saying goodbye (twice) to Rose.

Series 1

Previous to the 2005 season, series were numbered continuously, starting with the First Doctor. But given "Doctor Who"'s long absence from television, the production team chose to restart the series numbering from one.

Series 1 Trailer

The Doctor: Do you wanna come with me? 'Cause if you do then I should warn you, you're gonna see all sorts of things. Ghosts from the past. Aliens from the future. The day the Earth died in a ball of flame. It won't be quiet, it won't be safe, and it won't be calm. But I'll tell you what it will be: The trip of a lifetime!

Rose [1.1]

The Doctor: [takes Rose's hand] Run!

Rose: Who are you then? Who's that lot down there? [The Doctor ignores her] I said who are they?!

The Doctor: They're made of plastic. Living plastic creatures. They're being controlled by a relay device on the roof. Which would be a great big problem if- [he pulls a bleeping bomb out of his coat] -I didn't have this. So I'm gonna go upstairs and blow it up. And I might well die in the process. But don't worry about me, no. You go home, go on! Go and have your lovely beans on toast. [suddenly serious] Don't tell anyone about this 'cos if you do, you'll get them killed. [closes the door] [opens it again] I'm The Doctor, by the way. What's your name?

Rose: Rose.

The Doctor: Nice to meet you, Rose. [holds up the bomb, shaking it slightly while grinning.] Run for your life!

Jackie: I'm in my dressing gown.

The Doctor: Yes, you are.

Jackie: There's a strange man in my bedroom.

The Doctor: Yes, there is.

Jackie: Anything could happen.

The Doctor: No. [walks away]

Rose: You can't just go swannin' off.

The Doctor: Yes, I can. Here I am, swannin' off. See ya!

Rose: Who are you?

The Doctor: [turns around] Do you now like I was sayin' about the Earth revolving? [walks toward Rose] It's like when you're a kid. The first time they tell you that the Earth's turnin' and you just can't quite believe it cause everythin' looks like it's standin' still. [looks at Rose] I can feel it. [takes Rose's hand] The turn of the Earth. The ground beneath our feet is spinnin' at 1,000 miles an hour, and the entire planet is hurtlin' 'round the Sun at 67,000 miles an hour and I can feel it. We're fallin' through space, you and me, clingin to the skin of this tiny little world, and if we let go... [let's go of Rose's hand] That's who I am.

Rose: Hold on, if you're an alien, why do you sound like you're from the North?

The Doctor: Lots of planets have a North!

The Doctor: How can you hide something that big in a city this small?

Rose: Hold on... hide what?

The Doctor: The transmitter. The Consciousness is controlling every single piece of plastic so it needs a transmitter to boost the signal.

Rose: What's it look like?

The Doctor: Like a transmitter. Round and massive, slap bang in the middle of London. [starts pacing] A huge circular metal structure... like a dish... [stops pacing and stands by a railing with the London Eye in the background] like a wheel. Close to where we're standing. Must be completely invisible. [Rose stares at the Eye. The Doctor turns around.] What? [Rose motions towards it. The Doctor turns around again] What? What is it? [The Doctor turns around one last time and finally realizes] Oh... fantastic!

Rose: Hi, I’ve come to see Clive, we’ve been E-Mailing,

Clive’s Son: [turns his head back into the house] Dad! One of your nutters.

Rose: He’s gonna follow us!

The Doctor: The assembled hordes of Genghis Khan couldn’t get through that door, and believe me they’ve tried. Now. Shut up a minute.

Mickey: There’s nothing you can do!

Rose: I’ve got no A levels. No job. No future. But I’ll tell you what I have got. Jericho Street Jr. School under 7’s gymnastics team. I’ve got the bronze.

The End of the World [1.2]

The Doctor: You lot. You spend all your time thinking about dying, like you're going to get killed by eggs, or beef, or global warming, or asteroids. But you never take time to imagine the impossible: that maybe you survive. This is the year 5.5 slash apple slash 26....five billion years in your future, and this is the day, hold on- [looks at his watch, then at the sun] This is the day the sun expands. [Grins] Welcome to the end of the world.

The Doctor: [opening Rose's phone] Tell you what. With a bit of jiggery pokery-

Rose: Is that a technical term, "jiggery pokery"?

The Doctor: Yeah, I got a first in jiggery pokery, what about you?

Rose: [playing along] Nah, I failed Hullabaloo.

The Doctor: You think it'll last forever. The people, and cars, and concrete. But it won't. Then one day it's all gone. Even the sky. [long pause] My planet's gone. It's dead. It burned, like the Earth. It's just rocks and dust. Before its time.

Rose: What happened?

The Doctor: There was a war, and we lost.

Rose: A war with who? [The Doctor doesn't answer, seemingly lost in thought.] What about your people?

The Doctor: I'm a Time Lord. I'm the last of the Time Lords. They're all gone. I'm the only survivor. I'm left travelling on my own, 'cause there's no one else.

The Unquiet Dead [1.3]

Dickens: What do you mean, you're a "fan?" In what way do you resemble a way of keeping oneself cool?

[Before having a séance]

Dickens: I can't be part of this.

The Doctor: Humbug? Come on, open mind.

Dickens: This is the sort of mummery I strive to unmask. Sèances? Nothing but lumerous tamborines and a squeeze box concealed between the knees. This girl knows nothing!

The Doctor: Now don't antagonize her. I love a happy medium!

Rose: I can't believe you just said that.

The Doctor: I saw the Fall of Troy! World War Five! I was pushing boxes at the Boston Tea Party! Now I'm gonna die in a dungeon.... [disgustedly] in Cardiff!

Gwyneth: And you have come such a long way.

Rose: What makes you think so?

Gwyneth: You're from London, I have seen London in drawings, but never like that. All those people rushing about, half naked for shame. And the noise, and the metal boxes racing past, and the birds in the sky- no, no they are metal as well. Metal birds with people in them, people are flying. And you, you have flown so far, further than any one. The things you’ve seen- The Darkness, The Big Bad Wolf!

Aliens of London [1.4]

Rose: I meant to phone. I really did, I just f- forgot.

Jackie: What, for a year? You forgot for a year?! And I am left sitting here! I just don't believe you! Why won't you tell me where you've been?!

The Doctor: Actually, it's my fault. I sort of, uh, employed Rose as my companion.

Policeman: When you say "companion", is this a sexual relationship?

Rose, the Doctor: [They look at each other and then simultaneously say] No!

Jackie: Then what is it? Because you, you waltz in 'ere all charm and smiles and the next thing I know she vanishes off the face of the earth! How old are you, then, Forty? Forty-five? What, did you find her on the internet? Did you go online and pretend you're a doctor?!

The Doctor: I am a doctor!

Jackie: Prove it! Stitch this, mate! [slaps him]

Rose: She slapped you.

The Doctor: Nine hundred years of time and space, and I've never been slapped by someone's mother.

Rose: Your face...

The Doctor: It hurt!

Rose:You're so gay! [pause] When you say 900 years...

The Doctor: That's my age.

Rose: You're 900 years old?

The Doctor: Yep.

Rose: My mother was right, that is one hell of an age gap.

Mickey walks into Jackie's flat and spots Rose. Everyone falls silent.

Rose: (sees him and sits up, guilty) I was gonna come see ya...

Neighbour: Someone owes Mickey an apology!

Rose: I'm sorry.

Neighbour: Not you! (she nods at Jackie)

Jackie: (defensive) Well, it's not my fault! Be fair, what was I supposed to think?! (she leaves quickly)

Mickey stares at Rose and Rose looks even more guilty.

Mickey: (in the kitchen) You disappear, who do they turn to? Your boyfriend! Five times I was taken in for questioning, five times! No evidence, course! There couldn't be, could there?! And then I get 'er, your mother! Whispering around the estate, pointing the finger, stuff through my letterbox! And all because of you!

Rose: Didn't think I'd be gone so long!

Mickey: And I waited for you, Rose! Twelve months waiting for you and the Doctor to come back!

Jackie: Hold on, you knew about the Doctor? Why didn't you tell me?

Mickey: (he shuts the peep hole and the kitchen door on the eavesdroppers) Yeah! Yeah, why not, Rose? Right? How could I tell her where you went?!

Cornered, Rose shrugs.

Jackie: Tell me now!

Mickey: I might as well, cause you're stuck here! The Doctor's gone. Just now, that 'box thing' just faded away.

Rose: What do you mean?

Mickey: He's left you! Some boyfriend he turned out to be.

Rose runs out into the street.

Rose: He wouldn't just go, he promised me!

Mickey: Oh, he's dumped you, Rose! Sailed off into space! How does it feel, huh? Now you are left behind with the rest of us Earthlings! Get used to it!

Rose: He would have said!

Jackie: (follows them) What you two going on about? What's going on? What's this Doctor done now?

Mickey: (he laughs) He's vamoosed!

Rose: He's not, cause he gave me this! (shows the TARDIS key)

Mickey snorts, unimpressed.

Rose: He's not my boyfriend, Mickey, he's better than that, he's much more important and he - [she stops as the TARDIS key starts to glow; then they hear the TARDIS approaching} I said so! Mum, Mum, go inside! Mum, don't stand there, just go inside, just - Mum -! (The TARDIS appears, glowing and flashing, the materialisation noise echoing and leaves on the floor blowing. Rose groans.)

Mickey: he looks at Jackie, triumphant Huh?

Jackie: How'd he do that, then?

Rose: My mum's here.

The Doctor: Oh, that's just what I need! Don't you dare make this place domestic!

Mickey: You ruined my life, Doctor. (the Doctor turns and looks at him, irritated) They thought she was dead, I was a murder suspect because of you!

The Doctor: (looks at Rose) See what I mean? Domestic!

Mickey: I bet you don't even remember my name!

The Doctor: Ricky.

Mickey: It's Mickey!

The Doctor: No, it's Ricky.

Mickey: I think I know my own name!

The Doctor: You 'think' you know your own name? How stupid are you?

Rose: That was a real spaceship?

The Doctor: Yep.

Rose: So it's all a pack of lies? What is it, then, are they invading?

Mickey: Funny way to invade, putting the whole world on red alert.

The Doctor: (glances at him in surprise) Good point!

Rose: I am sorry.

Mickey: Okay.

Rose: I am, though!

Mickey: (he looks at her sadly) Every day, I looked. On every street corner, wherever I went, looking for a blue box, for a whole year.

Rose: It's only been a few days for me! I don't know, it's... it's hard to tell inside this thing, but I swear, it's just a few days since I left you!

Mickey: Not enough time to miss me, then.

Rose: I did miss you.

Mickey: (he relents) I missed you.

Rose: So, um, in twelve months, you haven't seen anyone else?

Mickey: No.

Rose: Okay... (she grins)

Mickey: Mainly because everyone thinks I murdered you.

Rose: (the grin is wiped off her face) Right.

Mickey: So... now that you've come back... are you going to stay?

The Doctor: All the basic packages.

Mickey: (looks hopeful) You get the sports channels?

The Doctor: (dismissive) Yes, I get the football. Hold on, I know that one. (he points at the screen) UNIT! United Nations Intelligence Taskforce! Good people!

Rose: How do you know 'em?

Mickey: (smug) Cause he's worked for them. (Rose looks at him, startled, then at the Doctor.) Oh yeah, don't think I sat on my backside for twelve months, Doctor, I read up on you! You look deep enough on the internet, or in the history books, and there's his name - followed by a list of the dead!

The Doctor: That's nice, good boy, Ricky!

The Doctor: (gazing up at the helicopter, hands up) Take me to your leader?

Harriet Jones: Harriet Jones, MP for Flydale North.

World War Three [1.5]

[The Doctor speaking to the military police inside 10 Downing Street.]

The Doctor: I think you'll find the Prime Minister is an alien in disguise, and- [Glances at military police leader.] That’s never gonna work, is it?

[The policeman shakes his head.]

Policeman: Nope.

The Doctor: Fair enough. [runs]

Mickey is making tea in his kitchen after he and Jackie were attacked by a Slitheen in disguise.

Jackie: You got anything stronger?

Mickey: No chance, I've seen you when you've had a few, this ain't the time for a conga!

Jackie: We've gotta tell someone!

Mickey: Who do we trust? For all we know, they've all got big bog monsters inside of them! And this is what he does, Jacks! That Doctor bloke! Everywhere he goes, death and destruction, and he's got Rose right in the middle of it!

Jackie: Does he have a great big green thing inside him, then?

Mickey: I wouldn't put it past him. But like it or not, he's the only person who knows how to fight this.

Jackie: I think Rose is gonna die... (she breaks down)

Mickey: (trying to comfort her) Come on, if anyone's gonna cry, it's gonna be me. And you're safe here, Jacks, no one's gonna look for you at my flat, especially since you hate me so much.

Jackie: You saved my life! (she pauses) God, that's embarrassing...

Mickey: You're telling me!

(They both smile.)

[after military men are told to execute the Doctor]

The Doctor: Ah, well, now, you see, uh, the thing is, if I was you, if I was gonna, uh, execute someone by backing them against the wall, between you and me, A little word of advice, [there is a ping and a door slides open behind the Doctor] don't stand him against the lift! [steps backwards and the lift door closes]

[whilst being attacked by the Slitheen]

The Doctor: Who the hell are you?!

Harriet Jones: Harriet Jones, MP for Flydale North.

The Doctor: Nice to meet you.

Harriet Jones: Likewise

The Doctor: Installed in 1991. Three inches of steel lining every single wall. They'll never get in. [smiles triumphantly]

Rose: And how do we get out?

The Doctor: [still smiling, looks around and then nods] Ah. [still smiles]

Harriet Jones: When they fart, if you'll pardon the word, it doesn't smell like a fart, pardon the word, it's like something else. What is it? It's more like um...

Rose: Bad breath!

Harriet Jones: That's it!

The Doctor: Calcium decay! Now that narrows it down!

The Doctor: Calcium phosphate. Organic calcium - living calcium - creatures made out of living calcium, what else? What else? Hyphenated surname! YES! That narrows it down to one planet: Raxacoricofallapatorius!

Mickey Smith: [dryly] Oh yeah, great. We can write 'em a letter!

Jackie: Gherkins! Yeah, pickled onions! Pickled eggs!

The Doctor: (looks at Rose) You kiss this man?

Rose: Hannibal?

Harriet Jones: Hannibal...crossed the Alps...by dissolving boulders...with vinegar.

Rose: Well, there you go then. (she raises her glass and they all drink the port)

News Reporter: Yesterday saw the start of a brave new world. Today might see its end.

Harriet Jones: Except it's not your decision, Doctor. It's mine.

Jackie Tyler: And who the hell are you?

Harriet Jones: Harriet Jones, MP for Flydale North. The only elected representative in this room, chosen by the people for the people. And on behalf of the people, I command you: do it.

Slitheen (in human form): Victory should be naked. [transforms back into a Slitheen, along with its brother and sister]

The Doctor: Mickey the idiot. The world is in your hands.

Soldier: Sir, there's a missile-- [runs into a room and sees it full of Slitheen] Sorry! [runs out terrified]

Harriet Jones: Nice knowing you both. Hannibal! [10 Downing Street gets hit by a long-range missile]

Harriet Jones: (stepping out of the safe box) Made in Britain.

Soldier: Are you all right?

Harriet Jones: Harriet Jones, MP, Flydale North. I want you to contact the UN immediately, tell the ambassadors the crisis is over, they can step down. Go on, tell the news!

Soldier: Yes, ma'am! (he hurries off)

Harriet: (surveys the rubble) Someone's got a hell of a job sorting this lot out. Oh Lord! We don't even have a Primse Minister!

The Doctor: Maybe you should have a go.

Harriet Jones: Me? (she laughs) I'm only a back bencher.

Rose: I'd vote for ya.

Harriet: Now don't be silly. I'd better go see if I can help! (she walks off) Taxi! The Earth is safe!

The Doctor: Thought I knew the name. Harriet Jones. Future Prime Minister. Elected for three successful terms, the architect of Britain's Golden Age.

The Doctor: Good lad. Graffiti that again, and I'll have you. Now, off you go. [says to a kid who was scrubbing the words Bad Wolf off the side of the TARDIS]

Rose: He's not that bad if you gave him a chance.

Jackie: He's good in a crisis, I'll give him that.

[After the crashing spaceship is proclaimed a hoax]

Mickey: How can they do that?! Everyone saw it!

The Doctor: Well, that's the thing about you humans. You can always see something that's invisible, but if it's staring you right in the face - nope, can't see it! There's a scientific explanation for that: you're thick!

Mickey: [smiles] We're just idiots.

The Doctor: Well, not all of you.

Mickey: (he sits up a little straighter) Yeah?

The Doctor: (gives him a CD) Present for you, Mickey. It's a virus, put it online, it'll destroy every mention of me. I'll cease to exist.

Mickey: What you wanna do that for?

The Doctor: Cause you're right. I am dangerous. I don't want anybody following me.

Mickey: How can you say that and take 'er with you? (he nods at Rose)

The Doctor: You could look after her. Come with us.

Mickey: (he considers it) I can't. This life of yours... it's just too much, I couldn't do it... Don't tell her I said that.

Rose: I'm not leaving because of you! I'm travelling, that's all, and then I'll come back.

Jackie: But it's not safe!

Rose: Mum, if you saw it out there, you'd never come home.

The Doctor: Got enough stuff?

Rose: (pushes her backpack into his arms) Last time I stepped in there, it was spur of the moment. Now I'm signing up. You're stuck with me! (she points at him and laughs, then turns to Mickey) Come with us, there's plenty of room on board.

The Doctor: No chance, he's a liability, I'm not having him on board.

Rose: We'd be dead without 'im!

The Doctor: My decision is final.

Jackie: You still can't promise me! What if she gets lost, what if something happens to you, Doctor, and she's left all alone, standing on some moon, a million light years away? How long do I wait then?!

Dalek [1.6]

The Doctor: Someone's got a hobby.

The Doctor: Oh, look at you! [camera shows the head of a metal man, a Cyberman's head, which the Doctor finds very intriguing]

Rose: What is it?

The Doctor: An old friend of mine. Well, enemy. The stuff of nightmares reduced to an exhibit. I'm gettin' old.

Rose: If someone's collectin' aliens, that makes you Exhibit A.

Helicopter Pilot: Attention all personnel Bad Wolf 1 descending.

The Doctor: [In a calm but menacing voice] Release me if you want to live.

Van Statten: I'll tell you how they got in: Intruder window.

Van Statten: We're hidden away with the most valuable collection of extraterrestrial artifacts in the world, and you just stumbled in by mistake.

The Doctor: Pretty much sums me up.

The Doctor: So you're an expert on just about everything except the things in your museum.

Rose: Blimey, you can smell the testosterone.

[To Adam.]

Van Statten: You, English, look after the girl. Go and.... canoodle, or spoon, or whatever it is you British do. And you, Doctor-with-no-name, come and see my pet.

Simmons: The Metaltron is resting.

The Doctor: Metaltron?

Simmons: The last person to touch it...burst into flames. [holds out a pair of gloves]

The Doctor: I won't touch it then.

The Doctor: I've come to help. I'm the Doctor.

Creature: [in a raspy, metallic voice] Doc-tor?

The Doctor: [unbelieving] That's impossible!

Creature: The Doctor?! [the Doctor stares into the shadows stunned as the lights turn revealing...]

Dalek: Exterminate! EXTERMINATE!

The Doctor: [pounding on the door] LET ME OUT!

Dalek: EXTERMINATE!

Dalek: You are an enemy of the Daleks! You must be destroyed! [waves its laser around, but nothing more; the Doctor stares in disbelief]

The Doctor: [chuckles] It's not working! [laughs hysterically] Fantastic! Oh, fantastic! Powerless! Look at you. The great space dustbin!

The Doctor: If you can't kill, then what're you good for?

Dalek: I am a soldier. I was bred to receive orders.

The Doctor: Well you're never gonna get any, not ever.

Dalek: I demand orders!

The Doctor: They're never gonna come! Your race is dead! You all burned, all of you! Ten million ships on fire... The entire Dalek race wiped out in one second!

Dalek: You lie!

The Doctor: I watched it happen. I made it happen!

Dalek: You destroyed us?!

[The Doctor realizes what he said; he is silent for a moment]

The Doctor: I had no choice.

Dalek: And what of the Time Lords?

The Doctor: Dead. They burned with you. The end of the Last Great Time War. Everyone lost.

Dalek: And the coward survived.

The Doctor: [in a high-pitched voice] Ohhh. And I caught your little signal. "Help me." Poor little thing. But there's no one else coming, 'cause there's no one else left.

Dalek: [dejected and defeated] I am alone in the universe.

The Doctor: [smiling] Yep.

Dalek: So are you. [the smile falls off the Doctor's face] We are the same.

The Doctor: WE ARE NOT THE SAME! I'M NOT- No, wait. Maybe we are.

The Doctor: Exterminate.

Adam: Nearly caused World War III.

Dianna Goddard: It's been on Earth for over 50 years. Sold to private auction; moved from one collection to another. Why would it be a threat now?

The Doctor: Because I'm here.

Dianna Goddard: ...It came from the sky like a meteorite. Fell to Earth on the Ascension Islands, burnt in its crater for three days before anyone could get near it, and all that time it was screaming. Must've gone insane.

Van Statten: Two hearts! Binary vascular system. Oh I am so going to patent this.

The Doctor: Do you know what a Dalek is, Van Statten? A Dalek is honest. It does what it was born to do for the survival of its species. That creature in that dungeon is better than you.

The Doctor NO ONE ON THIS BASE IS SAFE! NO ONE ON THIS PLANET!

Dalek: I am in pain. They torture me. But still they fear me. Do you fear me?

Rose: [shaking her head] No.

Dalek: I am dying.

Rose: No, we can help.

Dalek: I welcome Death. But I am glad that before I die I met a human who was not afraid.

Rose: Isn't there anything I can do?

Dalek: My race is dead. I shall die alone.

[Rose reaches out to touch the Dalek]

Adam: Rose, NO! [Rose touches the Dalek and immediately pulls her hand back, leaving a quickly fading handprint on the Dalek's head]

Dalek: [filling back up with life] Genetic material extrapolated! Initiate cellular reconstruction! [breaks the chains holding it prisoner]

Simmons: What're you going to do? Sucker me to death? [Dalek suckers him to death]

The Doctor: Daleks are geniuses. It can calculate a thousand billion combinations in one second flat.

Dalek: [breaks a computer screen and absorbs electricity through it; dents and other things in need of repair seen visibly repairing themselves] Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

The Doctor: That Dalek just absorbed the entire internet. It knows everything.

Adam: Great big alien death machine. Defeated by a flight of stairs.

Dalek: Elevate. [starts to hover up the flights of stairs]

The Doctor: What's the nearest town?

Van Statten: Salt Lake City.

The Doctor: Population?

Van Statten: 10 million.

The Doctor: All dead. If the Dalek gets out, it'll murder every living creature; that's all it needs.

Van Statten: But why would it do that?!

The Doctor: Because it honestly believes they should die. Human beings are different, and anything different is wrong. It's the ultimate in racial cleansing! And you, Van Statten - you've let it loose!

Dalek: I shall speak only to the Doctor.

The Doctor: You're gonna get rusted.

Dalek: I fed off the DNA of Rose Tyler, extrapolating the biomass of a time-traveler. She regenerated me.

The Doctor: If you want orders, follow this one. [tense silence] Kill yourself.

Dalek: The Daleks must survive!

The Doctor: The Daleks have failed! Now why don't you finish the job, and make the Daleks extinct?! Rid the universe of your filth! Why don't you just DIE?!

Dalek: [pauses in consideration] You would make a good Dalek.

The Doctor: Rose! Did you make it?!

Rose: Sorry. I was a bit slow. I just want you to remember: it wasn't your fault, ok? And I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

[Dalek fires, the Doctor removes his earpiece in horror.]

Dalek: Open the bulkhead, or Rose Tyler dies.

The Doctor: Rose, you're alive!

Rose: Can't seem to get rid of me.

The Doctor: [accusingly] I thought you were dead.

Dalek: Open the bulkhead!

Rose: Don't do it!

Dalek: What are the use of emotions if you will not save the woman you love?

The Doctor: I killed her once, [hits door release] I can't do it again.

[Digging through a bin of alien weapons.]

The Doctor: Broken. Broken. Hair dryer... [Pulls big gun out of bin.] Oh, yes! Lock and load!

Dalek: Hear me talk now. Exterminate. Exterminate! EXTERMI-

Rose: Don't do it!

Rose: Never thought I'd feel the sunlight again.

Dalek: How does it feel? [there are whirring sounds and mechanical clicks as the Dalek's chest cavity opens to reveal a small, squid-like mutant]

The Doctor: [greatly confused] What's it doin'?

Dianna Goddard nods and the guard grab Van Statten and start to drag him away.

Van Statten: What the hell are you doing?

Dianna Goddard: Two hundred personnel dead and all because of you, sir. Take him away, wipe his memory, and leave him by the road someplace.

Van Statten: You can't do this to me! I am Henry Van Statten!

Dianna Goddard: And by tonight, Henry Van Statten will be a homeless, brainless junkie living on the streets of Santiago, Seattle, Sacramento... (she turns with a satisfied expression) Someplace beginning with 'S'.

Rose: Maybe some of your people survived.

The Doctor: No. I'd know. [taps his head] In here.

Rose: Adam was saying he's always wanted to see the stars

The Doctor: tell him to go stand outside then, the nest flight to Heathrow leaves at 15,00 hours

Rose: Doctor, he's all on his own

He's a bit pretty:

[The Doctor notices she is crushing on Adam]

Rose: i hadn't noticed

[The Doctor raises his right eyebrow] and puts the Tardis key into the door]

The Doctor: on your own head [he pushes the door open and steps inside, Rose by his side]

Adam: Doctor! What're you doin' standin' inside a box? [the TARDIS begins to leave, the dematerialisation noise echoing, the light flashing] Rose? [he steps inside the TARDIS just as it takes off]

The Long Game [1.7]

[The Doctor and Rose exit the TARDIS first]

The Doctor: Okay, it's the year 200,000, we're on a spaceship, no, a space station, go look over there. Okay, off you go.

Rose: 200,000? [The Doctor nods, and leans back against the wall as Adam exits the TARDIS]

Adam: Where are we?

Rose: Good question. Let's see. So, umm, judging by the architecture, I'd say we're around the year [looks at the Doctor] 200,000? If you listen, engines. We're on some sort of space station. Yeah, definitely a space station. It's a bit warm in here. They could turn the heating down. Tell you what, let's try that gate. C'mon.

Rose: [Looking out over the earth] That's...well, I'll let The Doctor explain, he does it better.

The Doctor: The Fourth Great and Bountiful Human Empire. Humanity at its highest.

[Adam faints]

The Doctor: [leans towards Rose, still lookig out over the Earth] He's your boyfriend.

Rose: [ignoring Adam, she too, is still looking out over the Earth] Not anymore.

[The Doctor, encouraging Adam to explore the station]

The Doctor: The thing is, Adam, time travel is like visiting Paris. You can't just read the guidebook, you've got to throw yourself in. Eat the food, use the wrong verbs, get charged double and end up kissing complete strangers- or is that just me?

[Rose and Adam head off to explore]

The Doctor: Go on, then. On your date.

Rose: You're going to get a smack you are.

The Editor: It may interest you to know that this isn't actually the Fourth Great and Bountiful Human Empire. It's hardly human at all! It's a place where humans happen to live- [unseen creature protests]-sorry, are allowed to live, by kind permission of my client. [points upwards]

[The Doctor and Rose follow his finger and notice a huge alien creature with ferocious-looking jaws on the ceiling.]

Rose: .... What is it?

The Doctor: You mean that thing's in charge of Satellite Five?

The Editor: "That thing", as you put it, is in charge of the human race. For almost a hundred years, mankind has been guided and shaped. Its knowledge and ambition strictly controlled, through its broadcast news- edited by my superior, your master, and humanity's guiding light: The Mighty Jagrafess of the Holy Hadrojassic Maxarodenfoe. [Grins] I call him Max.

Father's Day [1.8]

The Doctor: The past is another country. 1987's just the Isle of Wight.

The Empty Child [1.9]

[The Doctor on red alerts.]

The Doctor: That's just humans. By everyone else's standards, red's camp. Oh, the misunderstandings - all those Red Alerts, all that dancing.

[Jack Harkness to Rose while she is caught in his tractor beam.]

Capt. Jack Harkness: Could you switch off your cell phone? No, seriously, it interferes with my instruments.

Rose: [as she turns it off] You know, no one ever believes that.

The Doctor: Amazing.

Nancy: What is?

The Doctor: 1941. Right now, not very far from here, the German war machine is rolling up the map of Europe. Country after country, falling like dominoes. Nothing can stop it, nothing. Until one tiny, damp little island says "No. No, not here." A mouse in front of a lion. You're amazing, the lot of you. I don't know what you did to Hitler, but you frighten the hell out of me.

The Doctor: You're very sick.

Doctor Constantine: Dying, I should think, I just haven't been able to find the time. Are you a doctor?

The Doctor: I have my moments.

Doctor Constantine: Before this war began, I was a father and a grandfather. Now I'm neither, but I'm still a doctor.

The Doctor: Yeah. I know the feeling.

The Doctor Dances [1.10]

[The Doctor, Capt. Jack and Rose are cornered by the empty children.]

The Doctor: Go to your room! Go to your room! I mean it. I'm very, very angry with you. I'm very, very cross! GO! TO! YOUR! ROOM! [The children lurch away.] I'm really glad that worked. Those would have been terrible last words.

The Doctor: Sonic blaster, 51st Century... weapon factories at Villengard?

Capt. Jack Harkness: Yeah. You've been to the factories?

The Doctor: Once.

Jack: They're gone now, destroyed. Main reactor went critical, vaporised the lot.

The Doctor: Like I said, once... There's a banana grove there now. I like bananas. Bananas are good.

[Later]

Jack: Nice switch.

The Doctor: Thanks. From the groves at Villengard. Thought it was appropriate.

Jack: There's really a banana grove in the heart of Villengard and you did that?

The Doctor: Bananas are good.

The Doctor: Don't drop the banana!

Jack Harkness: Why not?

The Doctor: Good source of potassium!

[The empty people close in on the Doctor, Jack, and Rose]

Jack Harkness: [pointing his squareness gun at the empty people] Okay, this can function as a sonic blaster, a sonic cannon, and a triple-enfolded sonic disruptor. Doc, what you got?

The Doctor: A sonic... er... oh, never mind.

Jack Harkness: What?

The Doctor: It's sonic, okay? Let's leave it at that.

Jack Harkness: Disruptor? Cannon? What?

The Doctor: It's sonic! Totally sonic! I am sonic-ed up!

Jack Harkness: A sonic WHAT?!

The Doctor: SCREWDRIVER!

Jack Harkness: Who has a sonic screwdriver?

The Doctor: I do!

Jack Harkness: Who looks at a screwdriver and thinks "Oohoo, this could be a little more sonic"?

The Doctor: What, you've never been bored? Never had a long night? Never had a lot of cabinets to put up?

Capt. Jack Harkness: Damn it! It's the special features, they really drain the battery.

Rose: The battery?

Jack: I was going to send for another one but somebody's got to blow up the factory.

Rose: Oh, I know. First day I met him, he blew my job up. That's practically how he communicates.

The Doctor: Okay, that door should hold it for a bit.

Capt Jack Harkness: The door?! The wall didn't stop it!

The Doctor: Well it's got to find us first! Come on, we're not done yet! Assets, assets!

Jack: Well, I've got a banana, and in a pinch you could put up some shelves.

The Doctor: Window?

Jack: Barred. Sheer drop outside. Seven stories.

Rose: And no other exits.

Jack: Well, the assets conversation went in a flash, didn't it?

Rose: Doesn't the universe implode or something if you... dance?

The Doctor: [off-handed] Well, I've got the moves, but I wouldn't want to boast.

[Rose turns the music up on the radio and holds her hand out to the Doctor]

Rose: You've got the moves? Show me your moves.

The Doctor: [a bit timidly] Rose, I'm trying to resonate concrete.

The Doctor: There isn't a little boy born who wouldn't tear the world apart to find his mother. And this little boy can.

The Doctor: Everybody lives, Rose! Just this once! 'Everybody lives!!'

Rose: Look at you, beamin' away like you're Father Christmas!

The Doctor: Who says I'm not, red-bicycle-when-you-were-twelve?

Rose: [shocked] What?

The Doctor: And everybody lives!

Boom Town [1.11]

Mickey: I don't mind you hangin' around with big-ears up there.

The Doctor: Oi!

Mickey: Look in the mirror! But this guy, he's kinda...

Jack: Handsome?

Mickey: I was gonna say cheesy.

Jack: Early 21st century slang, is cheesy good or bad?

Mickey: It's bad.

Jack: But bad means good, isn't that right?

The Doctor: Let me tell you something about the human race. You put a mysterious blue box slap-bang in the middle of town, whaddya you do? Walk past it.

Cathy Salt: [talking about mysterious deaths connected to the "Blaidd Drwg" project] And then just recently Mr. Cleaver, the government's nuclear advisor?

Margaret Blaine: Slipped on an icy patch.

Cathy Salt: He was decapitated!

Margaret Blaine: It was a *very* icy patch.

[the four have just exited the TARDIS]

Mickey: That old lady's staring.

Jack : [Suggestively to Doctor] Probably wondering what four people were doing in a small box.

Mickey: [Disdainful look at Jack] What are you captain of? The Innuendo Squad?

The Doctor: Hello, I've come to see the Lord Mayor.

Idris Hopper: Have you got an appointment?

The Doctor: No, just an old friend passing by, bit of a surprise. Can't wait to see her face!

Idris Hopper: Well, she's just having a cup of tea.

The Doctor: Just go in there and tell her "the Doctor" would like to see her.

Idris Hopper: "The Doctor" who?

The Doctor: Just "the Doctor". tell her exactly that, "The Doctor".

Idris Hopper: Hang on a tic.

[Idris goes inside. There is the sound of a teacup smashing and Idris returns.]

Idris Hopper: The Lord Mayor says "thank you f-for popping by." She'd love to have a chat, but, um, she's up to her eyes in paperwork. Perhaps you would like to make an appointment for next week...

The Doctor: [happily] She's climbing out the window, isn't she?

Idris Hopper: Yes, she is.

Margaret Slitheen: Why can't you just leave me alone? What did I ever do to you?

The Doctor: You tried to kill me and destroy this entire planet.

Margaret Slitheen: Apart from that.

Margaret Slitheen: We're in Cardiff. London doesn't care, the southwest coast could fall into the sea and they wouldn't notice.... Oh, I sound like a Welshman. God help me, I've gone native.

The Doctor: Everywhere we go, two words following us. Bad Wolf.

Margaret Slitheen:This ship is impossible. It's superb. How did you get the outside around the inside?

The Doctor: Like I'd give you the secret, yeah.

Margaret Slitheen: I almost feel better about being defeated. We never stood a chance! This is the technology of the gods!

The Doctor: Don't worship me. I'd make a very bad god. You wouldn't get a day off, for starters.

Margaret Slitheen: It's so bright...beautiful...

The Doctor: Look inside, Blon Fel Fotch. Look at the light.

Margaret Slitheen:...Thank you... [the light brightens, obscuring her as she disappears]

Bad Wolf [1.12]

[The Doctor has stumbled from inside a closet into a Big Brother-style game show]

Davinadroid: You are live on channel forty-four thousand. Please do not swear.

The Doctor: You have got to be kidding.

The Doctor: Lynda, you're sweet. From what I've seen of your world, do you think anybody votes for sweet?

Trin-E: Just stand still and let the Defabricator work its magic.

Jack: What's a Defabricator?

[Jack's clothes are disintegrated.]

Jack: Okay, Defabricator. Does exactly what it says on the tin. Am I naked in front of millions of viewers?

Zu-Zana: Absolutely.

Jack: Ladies, your viewing figures just went up.

Jack: Now hold on, ladies, I don't want to have to shoot either one of you.

Trin-E: But you're unarmed!

Zu-Zana: And you're naked!

[Jack reaches behind him briefly, and returns holding a very small gun.]

Zu-Zana: But that's a compact laser deluxe.

Trin-E: Where were you hiding that!?

Jack: You really don't wanna know.

Trin-E: Give me that accessory!

[The Doctor and the others stare in horror at a mysterious fleet of ships]

Jack: That's impossible.... I know those ships. They were destroyed.

The Doctor: Obviously they survived.

Lynda: Who did? Who are they?

The Doctor: Two hundred ships. More than two thousand on board each one. That's about half a million of them.

Davitch Pavelle: Half a million what?

The Doctor: Daleks.

Dalek 1: [glances at Rose] We have your associate. You will obey or she will be exterminated!

The Doctor: No.

[Pause. The Daleks glance at each other in confusion.]

Dalek 1: Explain yourself!

The Doctor: I said no.

Dalek 1: What is the meaning of this negative?

The Doctor: It means no.

Dalek 1: But she will be destroyed!

The Doctor: No! 'Cause this is what I'm going to do: I'm going to rescue her! I'm going to save Rose Tyler from the middle of the Dalek fleet! And then I'm going to save the Earth! And then, just to finish off, I'm going to wipe every last stinking Dalek out of the sky!

Dalek 1: But you have no weapons! No defenses! No plan!

The Doctor: Yeah! And doesn't that scare you to death? Rose?

Rose: Yes, Doctor?

The Doctor: I'm coming to get you.

The Parting of the Ways [1.13]

Daleks: [simultaneously] Exterminate! Exterminate! [fire weapons, none of which so much as touch the Doctor]

The Doctor: Is that it? Useless! Nul points!

The Doctor: [To the Daleks] You know what they call me in the ancient legends of the Dalek homeworld? The Oncoming Storm. You might have removed all your emotions, but I reckon right down deep in your DNA there's one little spark left. And that's fear. Doesn't it just burn when you face me?

The Doctor: [as a hologram] This is Emergency Programme One. Rose, now listen; this is important. If this message is activated, then it can only mean one thing. We must be in danger, and I mean fatal. I'm dead, or about to die any second with no chance of escape. And that's okay. Hope it's a good death. But I promised to look after you, and that's what I'm doing. The TARDIS is taking you home. [Rose protests] And I bet you're fussing and moaning now- typical! But hold on and just listen a bit more. The TARDIS can never return for me. Emergency Programme One means I'm facing an enemy that should never get their hands on this machine. So this is what you should do: let the TARDIS die. Just let this old box gather dust. No one can open it; no one will even notice it. Let it become a strange little thing standing on a street corner. And over the years, the world will move on and the box will be buried. And if you wanna remember me, then you can do one thing, that's all, one thing. [turns to Rose, his voice no longer sounding projected] Have a good life. Do that for me, Rose. Have a fantastic life.

Jackie: Oh Rose, have something to eat.

Rose: Two hundred thousand years in the future he's dying, and there's nothing I can do.

Jackie: Well, like you said, two hundred thousand years, it's way off!

Rose: But it's not! It's now. That fight is happening right now. And he's fighting for us, for the whole planet, and I'm just sittin 'ere eating chips!

Jackie: Listen to me! God knows I have hated that man, but right now I love him, and do you know why? Cause he did the right thing, he sent you back to me!

Rose: But what do I do every day, Mum? What do I do? Get up, catch the bus, go to work, come back home, eat chips and go to bed, is that it?!

Mickey: [resentful] It's what the rest of us do.

Rose: But I can't!

Mickey: Why, cause you're better than us?

Rose: [exploding with frustration] NO, I didn't mean that! I just... [she tries to calm herself down] But it was. It was a better life! And I don't mean all the travelling, and seeing aliens and spaceships and things, that don't matter. The Doctor showed me a better way of living your life.[looks at Mickey] You know, he showed you, too! That you don't just give up! You don't just let things happen! You make a stand, you say no, you have the guts to do what's right when everyone else just runs away and I CAN'T - [gets up and runs out of the cafe]]

Rose: All the TARDIS needs to do is make a return trip, just reverse!

Mickey: Yeah, but we still can't do it!

Rose: The Doctor always said the TARDIS was telepathic, this thing is alive! It can listen!

Mickey: It's not listening now, is it?

Rose: We need to get inside it, Last time I saw you, with the Slitheen, this middle bit opened... and there was this light... and the Doctor said it was the heart of the TARDIS... If we can open it, I can make contact... and tell it what to do!

Mickey: Rose?

Rose: Mm?

Mickey: If you go back, you're gonna die.

Rose: [shrugging] That's a risk I've gotta take. Cause there's nothing left for me here.

Mickey: [staring at her] Nothing?

Rose: [oblivious] No.

Mickey: [obviously hurt] Okay if that's what you think... let's get this thing open. [he leans on the console, holding himself in]

Rose: I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself. I take the words. I scatter them...in time, and space. A message to lead myself here.

Rose: You are tiny. I can see the whole of time and space. Every single atom of your existence, [hold up her hand, her eyes glow yellow] and I divide them. [all of the Daleks dissolve into dust]

Rose: I can see everything. All that is. All that was. All that ever could be.

The Doctor: [gets up suddenly] That's what I see, all the time. And doesn't it drive you mad?

Rose: My head-

The Doctor: Come here.

Rose: -is killing me.

The Doctor: I think you need a doctor.

[The Doctor kisses Rose, absorbing the Time Vortex. She passes out and he sets her gently on the ground before returning the Vortex to the TARDIS.]

The Doctor: [upon realising he is about to regenerate] Rose Tyler. I was gonna take you to so many places. Barcelona! Not the city Barcelona, the planet Barcelona. You'd love it, fantastic place! They've got dogs with no noses! [Laughs] Imagine how many times a day you end up telling that joke and it's still funny!

Rose: Then... why can't we go?

The Doctor: Maybe you will. Maybe I will. But not like this.

Rose: You're not making sense.

The Doctor: I might never make sense again! I might have two heads, or no head. Imagine me with no head, ha! And don't say that's an improvement... But it's a bit dodgy, this process. [pause] You never know what you're gonna end up with.

[The Doctor is suddenly wracked by intense pain.]

Rose: Doctor!

The Doctor: Stay away!

Rose: Doctor, tell me what's going on-

The Doctor: I absorbed all the energy of the time vortex, and no one's meant to do that... [looks up at her] Every cell in my body's dying.

Rose: Isn't there something you can do?

The Doctor: Yeah. Doin' it now. See, Time Lords have this little trick, it's sort of a way of cheating death. Except.... it means I'm gonna change. And you're not gonna see me again... Not like this. Not with this daft old face. And before I go-

Rose: Don't say that!

The Doctor: Rose... before I go, I just wanna tell you: you were fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. And d'you know what? [Pause] So was I! [Rose grins weakly] [The Doctor's head, arms, and legs explode with the light of the vortex; you can visibly see his appearance changing. The regeneration stops, the golden light dies away and there is a seemingly different person standing where the Doctor was, although he is wearing the same clothes]

Tenth Doctor: Hello! Oka-[gulp and sick expression] Oh... new teeth. That's weird. So where was I? [Pause] Oh, s'right! Barcelona! [grins]