St Albion Parish News
Encyclopedia
St Albion Parish News was a regular feature in the British
satirical magazine
Private Eye during the premiership
of Tony Blair
. It was in the Private Eye tradition of featuring a fortnightly column lampooning the Prime Minister of the day and their close associates, seemingly written in a gossipy style by an insider. This has taken either of two broad formats. Mrs Wilson's Diary and Dear Bill
were supposedly the observations of spouses Mary Wilson and Denis Thatcher
respectively. Heathco - A Message from the Managing Director was a motivational newsletter sent to staff of a small company from the boss (Edward Heath
, nickname
d "Grocer"), and St Albion Parish News was in this broad style.
The format was a spoof of the Parish Magazine
typically published by English churches. Prime Minister Tony Blair
was depicted as the earnest and trendy young vicar of St Albion, "Rev ARP Blair, MA (Oxon)". Leading political figures were given satirical roles within a typical Anglican
community, for example, Gordon Brown
was the PCC
Treasurer, John Prescott
was in charge of the working men's club
and the Home Secretary
was Chairman of Neighbourhood Watch. Foreign dignitaries were described as Ministers in other Churches: for example, George W. Bush
usually appeared in the Parish News each week as "Rev Dubya Bush of the Church of the Latter-Day Morons" (or, in some issues in 2003—during the Invasion of Iraq
and early Iraq War—the Latter-Day Morbombs), in reference to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons
). Bill Clinton
belonged to the Church of the Seventh Day Fornicators. Great play was made in the issue of 4 August 2006 of Bush's misheard greeting, "Yo, Blair
", to the Prime Minister at the "G8
" summit in St Petersburg.
).
In the case of Tony Blair, the 'incumbent vicar', the message was nearly always a defence of his recent actions which then turned into a self-loving eulogy. Bible passages were frequently modified, or invented, to reflect kindly and reverently on the vicar. There would sometimes be a hymn with up-beat slogan
words, marked "Words and Music T. Blair" to emphasise the message. Despite frequent promises of not blaming others it was very common for the ensuing sentence or paragraph to do just that, all under a pretence of friendliness and half-heartedness.
is a leading barrister
).
Some weeks there was an item "To Remember In Your Prayers", seeking understanding for former colleagues who had resigned or been sacked, for example Mo Mowlam
, Clare Short
and Charles Clarke
. They are depicted as obviously deluded and mentally ill, hence the need for prayers.
television series based on the column was shown. It starred Harry Enfield
as the Rev. Blair.
United Kingdom
The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern IrelandIn the United Kingdom and Dependencies, other languages have been officially recognised as legitimate autochthonous languages under the European Charter for Regional or Minority Languages...
satirical magazine
Satire
Satire is primarily a literary genre or form, although in practice it can also be found in the graphic and performing arts. In satire, vices, follies, abuses, and shortcomings are held up to ridicule, ideally with the intent of shaming individuals, and society itself, into improvement...
Private Eye during the premiership
Prime Minister of the United Kingdom
The Prime Minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland is the Head of Her Majesty's Government in the United Kingdom. The Prime Minister and Cabinet are collectively accountable for their policies and actions to the Sovereign, to Parliament, to their political party and...
of Tony Blair
Tony Blair
Anthony Charles Lynton Blair is a former British Labour Party politician who served as the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom from 2 May 1997 to 27 June 2007. He was the Member of Parliament for Sedgefield from 1983 to 2007 and Leader of the Labour Party from 1994 to 2007...
. It was in the Private Eye tradition of featuring a fortnightly column lampooning the Prime Minister of the day and their close associates, seemingly written in a gossipy style by an insider. This has taken either of two broad formats. Mrs Wilson's Diary and Dear Bill
Dear Bill
The "Dear Bill" letters were a regular feature in the British satirical magazine Private Eye, purporting to be the private correspondence of Denis Thatcher, husband of the then-Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher...
were supposedly the observations of spouses Mary Wilson and Denis Thatcher
Denis Thatcher
Major Sir Denis Thatcher, 1st Baronet, MBE, TD was a British businessman, and the husband of the former British Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher. He was born in Lewisham, London, the elder child of a New Zealand-born British businessman, Thomas Herbert Thatcher, and his wife Kathleen, née Bird...
respectively. Heathco - A Message from the Managing Director was a motivational newsletter sent to staff of a small company from the boss (Edward Heath
Edward Heath
Sir Edward Richard George "Ted" Heath, KG, MBE, PC was a British Conservative politician who served as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and as Leader of the Conservative Party ....
, nickname
Nickname
A nickname is "a usually familiar or humorous but sometimes pointed or cruel name given to a person or place, as a supposedly appropriate replacement for or addition to the proper name.", or a name similar in origin and pronunciation from the original name....
d "Grocer"), and St Albion Parish News was in this broad style.
The format was a spoof of the Parish Magazine
Parish Magazine
A parish magazine is a periodical produced by and for an ecclesiastical parish, generally within the Anglican Church. It usually comprises a mixture of religious articles, community contributions and parish notices, including the previous month‘s christenings, marriages and funerals. Magazines...
typically published by English churches. Prime Minister Tony Blair
Tony Blair
Anthony Charles Lynton Blair is a former British Labour Party politician who served as the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom from 2 May 1997 to 27 June 2007. He was the Member of Parliament for Sedgefield from 1983 to 2007 and Leader of the Labour Party from 1994 to 2007...
was depicted as the earnest and trendy young vicar of St Albion, "Rev ARP Blair, MA (Oxon)". Leading political figures were given satirical roles within a typical Anglican
Anglicanism
Anglicanism is a tradition within Christianity comprising churches with historical connections to the Church of England or similar beliefs, worship and church structures. The word Anglican originates in ecclesia anglicana, a medieval Latin phrase dating to at least 1246 that means the English...
community, for example, Gordon Brown
Gordon Brown
James Gordon Brown is a British Labour Party politician who was the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and Leader of the Labour Party from 2007 until 2010. He previously served as Chancellor of the Exchequer in the Labour Government from 1997 to 2007...
was the PCC
Parochial Church Council
The parochial church council , is the executive body of a Church of England parish.-Powers and duties:Two Acts of Parliament define the powers and duties of PCCs...
Treasurer, John Prescott
John Prescott
John Leslie Prescott, Baron Prescott is a British politician who was Deputy Prime Minister of the United Kingdom from 1997 to 2007. Born in Prestatyn, Wales, he represented Hull East as the Labour Member of Parliament from 1970 to 2010...
was in charge of the working men's club
Working men's club
Working men's clubs are a type of private social club founded in the 19th century in industrial areas of the United Kingdom, particularly the North of England, the Midlands and many parts of the South Wales Valleys, to provide recreation and education for working class men and their families.-...
and the Home Secretary
Home Secretary
The Secretary of State for the Home Department, commonly known as the Home Secretary, is the minister in charge of the Home Office of the United Kingdom, and one of the country's four Great Offices of State...
was Chairman of Neighbourhood Watch. Foreign dignitaries were described as Ministers in other Churches: for example, George W. Bush
George W. Bush
George Walker Bush is an American politician who served as the 43rd President of the United States, from 2001 to 2009. Before that, he was the 46th Governor of Texas, having served from 1995 to 2000....
usually appeared in the Parish News each week as "Rev Dubya Bush of the Church of the Latter-Day Morons" (or, in some issues in 2003—during the Invasion of Iraq
2003 invasion of Iraq
The 2003 invasion of Iraq , was the start of the conflict known as the Iraq War, or Operation Iraqi Freedom, in which a combined force of troops from the United States, the United Kingdom, Australia and Poland invaded Iraq and toppled the regime of Saddam Hussein in 21 days of major combat operations...
and early Iraq War—the Latter-Day Morbombs), in reference to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons
Mormons
The Mormons are a religious and cultural group related to Mormonism, a religion started by Joseph Smith during the American Second Great Awakening. A vast majority of Mormons are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints while a minority are members of other independent churches....
). Bill Clinton
Bill Clinton
William Jefferson "Bill" Clinton is an American politician who served as the 42nd President of the United States from 1993 to 2001. Inaugurated at age 46, he was the third-youngest president. He took office at the end of the Cold War, and was the first president of the baby boomer generation...
belonged to the Church of the Seventh Day Fornicators. Great play was made in the issue of 4 August 2006 of Bush's misheard greeting, "Yo, Blair
Yo, Blair
"Yo, Blair. What are you doing?" was an informal greeting that United States President George W. Bush gave to British Prime Minister Tony Blair during the summit of the Group of Eight industrialized nations in St Petersburg, Russia, on 17 July 2006...
", to the Prime Minister at the "G8
G8
The Group of Eight is a forum, created by France in 1975, for the governments of seven major economies: Canada, France, Germany, Italy, Japan, the United Kingdom, and the United States. In 1997, the group added Russia, thus becoming the G8...
" summit in St Petersburg.
Structure and general tone
The general structure was a message from the vicar, i.e. Prime Minister, plus a few smaller, varying columns. These usually included the Parish Postbag, often containing a letter from a parish member (i.e. minister) complaining about something or other but cut short "for reasons of space" by the editor (in the past this was Alastair CampbellAlastair Campbell
Alastair John Campbell is a British journalist, broadcaster, political aide and author, best known for his work as Director of Communications and Strategy for Prime Minister Tony Blair between 1997 and 2003, having first started working for Blair in 1994...
).
In the case of Tony Blair, the 'incumbent vicar', the message was nearly always a defence of his recent actions which then turned into a self-loving eulogy. Bible passages were frequently modified, or invented, to reflect kindly and reverently on the vicar. There would sometimes be a hymn with up-beat slogan
Slogan
A slogan is a memorable motto or phrase used in a political, commercial, religious and other context as a repetitive expression of an idea or purpose. The word slogan is derived from slogorn which was an Anglicisation of the Scottish Gaelic sluagh-ghairm . Slogans vary from the written and the...
words, marked "Words and Music T. Blair" to emphasise the message. Despite frequent promises of not blaming others it was very common for the ensuing sentence or paragraph to do just that, all under a pretence of friendliness and half-heartedness.
Running jokes from the Blair era
The tone of the sketch was set by the magazine's satirical take on the Blair government and its personalities. The vicar's message always began with 'hullo', any appearance by Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott featured attempts at formal, well-written language plagued by mistakes and misunderstandings of words (e.g. "there have been many alligators made about me"), and threats to sue were frequently made by the vicar's wife (Cherie BlairCherie Blair
Cherie Blair , known professionally as Cherie Booth QC, is a British barrister working in the legal system of England and Wales. She is married to the former Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, Tony Blair; the couple have three sons and one daughter...
is a leading barrister
Barrister
A barrister is a member of one of the two classes of lawyer found in many common law jurisdictions with split legal professions. Barristers specialise in courtroom advocacy, drafting legal pleadings and giving expert legal opinions...
).
Some weeks there was an item "To Remember In Your Prayers", seeking understanding for former colleagues who had resigned or been sacked, for example Mo Mowlam
Mo Mowlam
Marjorie "Mo" Mowlam was a British Labour Party politician. She was the Member of Parliament for Redcar from 1987 to 2001 and served in the Cabinet as Secretary of State for Northern Ireland, Minister for the Cabinet Office and Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster.Mowlam's time as Northern...
, Clare Short
Clare Short
Clare Short is a British politician, and a member of the Labour Party. She was the Member of Parliament for Birmingham Ladywood from 1983 to 2010; for most of this period she was a Labour Party MP, but she resigned the party whip in 2006 and served the remainder of her term as an Independent. She...
and Charles Clarke
Charles Clarke
Charles Rodway Clarke is a British Labour Party politician, who was the Member of Parliament for Norwich South from 1997 until 2010, and served as Home Secretary from December 2004 until May 2006.-Early life:...
. They are depicted as obviously deluded and mentally ill, hence the need for prayers.
TV adaptation
In 1998 Sermon from St. Albion's, an ITVITV
ITV is the major commercial public service TV network in the United Kingdom. Launched in 1955 under the auspices of the Independent Television Authority to provide competition to the BBC, it is also the oldest commercial network in the UK...
television series based on the column was shown. It starred Harry Enfield
Harry Enfield
Henry Richard "Harry" Enfield is a BAFTA-winning English comedian, actor, writer and director.-Early life:...
as the Rev. Blair.