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Nature Girl (novel)
Encyclopedia
Plot introduction
Honey Santana becomes irritated by telemarketers and invites a particularly obnoxious one to a phony real estate promotion - which she describes as an eco-tour - in the Ten Thousand Islands in order to teach him a lesson. It is thus that telemarketers Boyd Shreave and his reluctant mistress Eugenie Fonda make their way from TexasTexas
Texas is the second largest U.S. state by both area and population, and the largest state by area in the contiguous United States.The name, based on the Caddo word "Tejas" meaning "friends" or "allies", was applied by the Spanish to the Caddo themselves and to the region of their settlement in...
to Dismal Key
Dismal Key
Dismal Key is a small island, part of the Ten Thousand Islands archipelago in the Gulf of Mexico off the coast of Florida.It lacks a permanent source of fresh water, which is available only by being imported, collected from rainfall, or extracted from the local cacti. In pre-Columbian times it was...
in Florida
Florida
Florida is a state in the southeastern United States, located on the nation's Atlantic and Gulf coasts. It is bordered to the west by the Gulf of Mexico, to the north by Alabama and Georgia and to the east by the Atlantic Ocean. With a population of 18,801,310 as measured by the 2010 census, it...
with Honey, unaware that she is being stalked by Louis Piejack, Honey's perverted and disfigured ex-employer, who is unaware that he is being followed by Fry, Honey's wise and protective twelve-year-old son, and his courageous ex-drug runner father. Also on the island are a young half-Seminole man named Sammy Tigertail and his very willing captive, Gillian, a sex-obsessed, warmhearted Florida State coed. Various odd events surface along the way.
Detailed Plot summary
Single mother Honey Santana is out of work again, having walloped her lecherous boss, Louis Piejack, after he groped her in the workplace. In the middle of dinner, Honey receives a call from telemarketer Boyd Shreave, in Fort Worth, TexasTexas
Texas is the second largest U.S. state by both area and population, and the largest state by area in the contiguous United States.The name, based on the Caddo word "Tejas" meaning "friends" or "allies", was applied by the Spanish to the Caddo themselves and to the region of their settlement in...
, trying to sell her a cheap parcel of land. Honey declines, and touches a nerve by asking Boyd if his mother knows what he does for a living (she does, and doesn’t approve). Boyd loses his temper and calls her a nasty name, making her obsessed with tracking him down to teach him a lesson.
Sammy Tigertail, a young half-Seminole
Seminole
The Seminole are a Native American people originally of Florida, who now reside primarily in that state and Oklahoma. The Seminole nation emerged in a process of ethnogenesis out of groups of Native Americans, most significantly Creeks from what is now Georgia and Alabama, who settled in Florida in...
, needs a place to hide. A drunken tourist has just dropped dead of a heart attack in the middle of an airboat ride. Misconstruing some advice from his Uncle Tommy, he dumps the tourist’s body in the river and leaves the reservation
Indian reservation
An American Indian reservation is an area of land managed by a Native American tribe under the United States Department of the Interior's Bureau of Indian Affairs...
to camp in the Islands. He has brought along an authentic Gibson Super 400
Gibson Super 400
The Gibson Super 400 is an archtop guitar, "the biggest, fanciest, and most expensive archtop ever built," and a highly influential model guitar which inspired many other guitar makers . It was first sold in 1934 and named for its $400 price.The Super 400 was the largest guitar that the Gibson...
electric guitar, having always wanted to teach himself how to play. His solitude is interrupted by a group of college students having a drunken party. He is about to steal one of their canoes and find another island, when one of the students, a girl named Gillian, discovers him and wants to come along for the adventure. When she threatens to wake the others, Sammy has no choice but to take her with him.
In Texas, Boyd is fired for insulting a customer. He has been carrying on an extra-marital affair with his co-worker, Eugenie Fonda, who was briefly famous as the mistress of a tabloid murderer. Eugenie, who has been sleeping with Boyd largely out of boredom and convenience, tells him she isn’t interested in carrying on their affair. Boyd is crushed. He is also unaware that his wife, Lily, has caught on to his philandering and has hired a private investigator, Dealey, to gather evidence for a divorce.
Honey tracks Boyd down and calls him at home, posing as a telemarketer offering a free trip to Florida as part of a timeshare
Timeshare
A timeshare is a form of ownership or right to the use of a property, or the term used to describe such properties. These properties are typically resort condominium units, in which multiple parties hold rights to use the property, and each sharer is allotted a period of time in which they may use...
promotion. Boyd seizes the opportunity to try to win Eugenie back, and she is intrigued enough by a trip to Florida to accept.
Honey borrows the airfare from her ex-husband, Perry Skinner, a crab fisherman and former marijuana smuggler. She also asks her son, Fry, if he can stay with him for a few days, while she entertains some guests from out of town.
Lily Shreave, despite assurances from Dealey that they have more than enough evidence for a quick and uncontested divorce, wants more explicit footage. Dealey realizes that she is no longer looking for evidence, only indulging a fetish, but agrees to follow Boyd and Eugenie to Florida.
Boyd and Eugenie arrive in Florida, and drive to the address given, surprised to find it is a trailer park. Outside the trailer Dealey is abducted by Louis Piejack, who is stalking Honey. While skateboarding past the trailer park, Fry catches sight of them.
On a new island, Dismal Key
Dismal Key
Dismal Key is a small island, part of the Ten Thousand Islands archipelago in the Gulf of Mexico off the coast of Florida.It lacks a permanent source of fresh water, which is available only by being imported, collected from rainfall, or extracted from the local cacti. In pre-Columbian times it was...
, Sammy is trying to find peace, but is distracted by Gillian’s chatty presence. She gradually wins him over with her adventurousness, resilience, and guitar skills.
Honey leads Boyd and Eugenie on a kayaking trip, during which Boyd’s obnoxiousness is fully on display. By a coincidence, they land on Dismal Key.
Fry is so preoccupied by worrying about his mother that he collides with a garbage truck on his skateboard, suffering a concussion. Skinner, who doesn’t trust the hospital to look after his son, puts a football helmet on him and drives with him to the docks. He has spotted Piejack tailing Honey’s kayak in a johnboat, and plans to follow them.
On Dismal Key, Honey reveals who she really is, and proceeds to give Boyd a rehearsed lecture on basic courtesy and consideration. Scornfully, Boyd shrugs it off and turns to leave with Eugenie. They find the kayaks gone—Sammy, mistaking them for intruders, has stolen them.
Dealey arrives on the island with Piejack, but Sammy finds them and knocks Piejack out. He then takes Dealey prisoner, mistaking him for the tourist’s ghost.
After Honey, Boyd, and Eugenie fall asleep, Sammy sneaks to their campsite to steal water. Eugenie wakes and follows him back, wanting the quickest possible way off the island. There, she meets Dealey, who confesses what Lily hired him to do.
Dealey borrows Gillian’s cell phone and calls the Coast Guard for air rescue. Sammy says that Eugenie and Gillian are leaving with him, whether they want to or not. Sensing her last opportunity, Gillian asks Eugenie for some privacy, and then finally succeeds in seducing Sammy.
Skinner arrives on the island, telling Fry to stay in the boat. Unwilling to comply, Fry jumps out and starts searching, running into Eugenie. With her jaded view of men, Eugenie is charmed by Fry’s intelligence and manners, and positively enchanted to hear that Honey’s ex-husband has charged into the wilderness to rescue her. Fry is suddenly overcome by vertigo, and Eugenie helps him back toward the camp.
In the morning, Honey, in a last-ditch attempt to get through to Boyd, makes him climb a tree with her to watch a magnificent sunrise. Needless to say, Boyd remains completely oblivious and unmoved. As they climb down, Piejack snatches Honey, and Boyd watches mutely as she is dragged away.
Sammy reconsiders whether he wants Gillian to go. The decision is taken out of his hands when a Coast Guard helicopter arrives. Dealey foolishly tires to paddle out in one of Honey’s kayaks, but tips it and is about to drown when Gillian dives in to keep him afloat. Fry encourages Eugenie to go too, and she follows Gillian and Dealey into the helicopter.
Fry goes searching for Honey again, and comes upon her and Piejack just as he is threatening Honey with a shotgun. Honey attacks Piejack in defense of her son, while Skinner and Sammy come running. Sammy sacrifices his Gibson, which Skinner uses for a killing blow on Piejack’s head. Skinner is shot in the hip, and Honey rushes him with Fry back to the mainland. Sammy disposes of Piejack’s body using his johnboat.
Boyd, left by himself, grabs Sammy’s canoe and takes off. On another island, he stumbles on a small religious group who have been expecting Jesus Christ to reappear on the water in a boat. They eagerly accept Boyd as their savior.
Sammy dumps Piejack’s body next to the tourist’s, and finds a new island, where he reconstructs the guitar. When he realizes that Gillian is searching the islands for him, he wonders whether or not he wants to keep hiding…
Eugenie quits her telemarketing job and, as a snub to Lily Shreave, sends her footage of two gecko
Gecko
Geckos are lizards belonging to the infraorder Gekkota, found in warm climates throughout the world. They range from 1.6 cm to 60 cm....
s having sex which she idly filmed on the island with one of Dealey’s cameras. Dealey offers Eugenie a job in his office. (“Just don’t try to get in my pants.”)
Characteristically, Boyd alienates even his religious followers, who kick him out of the group and leave him on the island with his canoe. Eventually he makes his way to the mainland, and is intrigued to hear a tourist couple from Chicago
Chicago
Chicago is the largest city in the US state of Illinois. With nearly 2.7 million residents, it is the most populous city in the Midwestern United States and the third most populous in the US, after New York City and Los Angeles...
asking eagerly for a realtor…
Skinner and Honey get back together, while recovering from their injuries inflicted by Piejack. Fry is happy, but worried about whether his mother’s obsessiveness will drive them apart again. In the middle of dinner, the phone rings. With a huge effort, Honey decides not to answer it.
Characters
Like many of Hiaasen’s novels, the events of the book are largely driven by the collection of characters who populate it:- Honey Santana: a single mother. After Fry was born, Honey developed an overpowering fear of reckless, dangerous, or destructive behavior, which has expanded into a perilously low tolerance for general rudeness and thoughtlessness – all of which, Hiaasen assures us, are abundant in South Florida. Honey has some sort of mental illness, and is off her meds, so she always hears songs playing in her head.
- Boyd Shreave: a telemarketer employed by Relentless, Inc. Boyd is a typical Hiaasen bad guy: obnoxious, arrogant, totally self-absorbed and oblivious to both nature and his own shortcomings. He’s been in sales for his entire adult life, partly out of laziness, partly out of general unfitness for any other career, and partly based on an unshakeable conviction (reinforced through countless hours of daytime television) that he’s superior to the rest of humanity, and that somewhere out there is a market for him, crammed with suckers.
- Eugenie Fonda: Shreave's co-worker and mistress. Her major claim to fame is having had a fling with a man who murdered his wife a week later, leading to a highly publicized trial and a book deal. It would also have been her claim to wealth had not a later boyfriend, a stockbroker, convinced her to invest the royalties entirely in EnronEnronEnron Corporation was an American energy, commodities, and services company based in Houston, Texas. Before its bankruptcy on December 2, 2001, Enron employed approximately 22,000 staff and was one of the world's leading electricity, natural gas, communications, and pulp and paper companies, with...
. She has seduced Shreave largely out of boredom, the same reason she agrees to accompany him to Florida. She's the author of a potboiler called "Storm Ghoul." - Fry Santana: Honey's son. He is only twelve but looks fourteen. Athletic, brave and very intelligent. He loves both his parents but does not believe they could get back together.
- Perry Skinner: Honey's ex-husband. A former marijuana smuggler turned crab fisherman. Strong, reliable, and handsome. Honey's obsessive behavior drove him away but he's never stopped loving her.
- Theodore Dealey: a private detective hired by Boyd's wife to follow him and Eugenie to Florida.
- Sammy Tigertail: a half-SeminoleSeminoleThe Seminole are a Native American people originally of Florida, who now reside primarily in that state and Oklahoma. The Seminole nation emerged in a process of ethnogenesis out of groups of Native Americans, most significantly Creeks from what is now Georgia and Alabama, who settled in Florida in...
, half-white man in his 20's. After his father's death, he tried to re-invent himself as a true Native American, though he feels equally out of place in both worlds. He is saddened by his tribe's bloody history of victimization by the white man, though he's inherited his father's love for classic rock. - Gillian St. Croix: a co-ed at Florida State UniversityFlorida State UniversityThe Florida State University is a space-grant and sea-grant public university located in Tallahassee, Florida, United States. It is a comprehensive doctoral research university with medical programs and significant research activity as determined by the Carnegie Foundation...
. Outwardly shallow and sex-obsessed, she nonetheless yearns for true adventure and a meaningful relationship, and so is immune to most of the superficial influences that capture her girlfriends - hence her insistence on sticking with Sammy to the end. - Louis Piejack: Honey's former boss, the owner of the fish market where she worked. A pervert and a wife beater, Piejack is obsessed with capturing Honey and making her his "obedient-homemaker-slash-sex-slave." After he gropes Honey's breast in the workplace, she applies a crab hammer to his testicles. When he finds out about it, Perry goes one better and hires two thugs to shove Piejack's offending hand into a crab trap. Due to a power outage at the emergency room, his fingers are re-attached in the wrong positions.
- Tommy Tigertail: Sammy's uncle, a prominent and wealthy member of the Seminole nation.
Allusions to Actual History, Geography, or Persons
- There are repeat references to the Second Seminole WarSecond Seminole WarThe Second Seminole War, also known as the Florida War, was a conflict from 1835 to 1842 in Florida between various groups of Native Americans collectively known as Seminoles and the United States, part of a series of conflicts called the Seminole Wars...
, and its leading figures: OsceolaOsceolaOsceola, also known as Billy Powell , became an influential leader with the Seminole in Florida. He was of Creek, Scots-Irish and English parentage, and had migrated to Florida with his mother after the defeat of the Creek in 1814.Osceola led a small band of warriors in the Seminole resistance...
, Thlocklo Tustunugee, aka Chief Tigertail, Andrew JacksonAndrew JacksonAndrew Jackson was the seventh President of the United States . Based in frontier Tennessee, Jackson was a politician and army general who defeated the Creek Indians at the Battle of Horseshoe Bend , and the British at the Battle of New Orleans...
, and General Thomas JesupThomas JesupBrigadier General Thomas Sidney Jesup, USA was an American military officer known as the "Father of the Modern Quartermaster Corps". He was born in Berkeley County, West Virginia. He began his military career in 1808, and served in the War of 1812, seeing action in the battles of Chippewa and...
. The great irony is pointed out that Jackson, the great enemy of the Seminole Nation, now adorns the $20 bills that the Nation rakes in from its casinos. - Sammy and his Uncle Tommy are purported to be descendants of Chief Tigertail. Sammy assumes the alias "Thlocklo" ("Tiger Tail") during his retreat.
- Gillian’s conservative parents are alarmed at the thought of her going to college in Tallahassee, after reading a tawdry story about "a prominent state legislator who put his favorite HootersHootersHooters is the trade name of two privately held American restaurant chains: Hooters of America, Incorporated, based in Atlanta, Georgia, and Hooters, Incorporated, based in Clearwater, Florida...
waitress on the state payroll." This is an oblique reference to Tom FeeneyTom FeeneyThomas Charles "Tom" Feeney III, usually known as Tom Feeney , is an American politician from the state of Florida. He represented . He was defeated in the 2008 election by Democrat Suzanne Kosmas.-Early life:...
, formerly a U.S. Congressman and former Speaker of the Florida House, who was indeed ridiculed for appointing waitress Bridgette Gregory to a state administrative position despite her lack of a college degree or other qualifications for the job. - Sammy’s guitar, appropriated from the Seminole Nation’s Hard Rock CaféHard Rock CafeHard Rock Cafe is a chain of theme restaurants founded in 1971 by Americans Peter Morton & Isaac Tigrett. In 1979, the cafe began covering its walls with rock and roll memorabilia, a tradition which expanded to others in the chain. In 2006, Hard Rock was sold to the Seminole Tribe of Florida, and...
casino, once belonged to Mark KnopflerMark KnopflerMark Freuder Knopfler, OBE is a Scottish-born British guitarist, singer, songwriter, record producer and film score composer. He is best known as the lead guitarist, vocalist, and songwriter for the British rock band Dire Straits, which he co-founded in 1977...
of Dire StraitsDire StraitsDire Straits were a British rock band active from 1977 to 1995, composed of Mark Knopfler , his younger brother David Knopfler , John Illsley , and Pick Withers .Dire Straits' sound drew from a variety of musical influences, including jazz, folk, blues, and came closest...
, Sammy’s father’s favorite band. - Theodore Dealey, the private investigator who makes a living shooting photos of unfaithful spouses, is based in Dallas, Texas. Dealey PlazaDealey PlazaDealey Plaza , in the historic West End district of downtown Dallas, Texas , is the location of the assassination of John F. Kennedy on November 22, 1963...
in Dallas was the site of John F. KennedyJohn F. KennedyJohn Fitzgerald "Jack" Kennedy , often referred to by his initials JFK, was the 35th President of the United States, serving from 1961 until his assassination in 1963....
's assassination in 1963. Kennedy was known as an unfaithful spouse, and the pictures of his shooting death are famous.
Connections with Hiaasen's Other Works
- Tommy Tigertail, Sammy's uncle, makes his first appearance since Hiaasen's debut novel, Tourist SeasonTourist SeasonTourist Season is a 1986 novel by Carl Hiaasen. It was his first solo novel, after co-writing several mystery/thriller novels with William Montalbano.-Plot:...
. - Tommy also refers to the main antagonist of that novel, eco-terrorist Skip Wiley.
- There is a humorous passage in Basket CaseBasket Case (novel)Basket Case, published in 2002, is the ninth novel by Carl Hiaasen. It is a classic Hiaasen crime novel, set in Florida. It opens with the death of James Stomarti , an ostensibly washed-up former lead man of "Jimmy and the Slut Puppies"....
when the protagonist ruminates about the usefulness of GPS devices: while they are useful, they also allow total morons to escape the consequences of their own stupidity — "to wander into the wilderness without any fear of getting lost.... So much for natural selectionNatural selectionNatural selection is the nonrandom process by which biologic traits become either more or less common in a population as a function of differential reproduction of their bearers. It is a key mechanism of evolution....
." There is a scene in Nature Girl in which Boyd, trying to signal a Coast Guard helicopter, yells into a GPS receiver, which he has mistaken for a radio. The fact that a GPS is incomprehensible to Boyd puts him on a rung below a total moron.