List of Loveline games
Encyclopedia
Loveline
has frequent games and traditions in which phone callers, guests, and the hosts participate. Most of the games and traditions come and leave with their respective hosts.
Some of the Drew Drops were set to music in the "Dr. Drew Shuffle" and the later "Dr. Drew Boogie."
Drew Drops website
There are some other drops taken from a skit on the television show Crank Yankers
. Carolla tried to 'hip up' Drew by having him use 'urban' lingo.
chirping to remind the owner to replace the battery. This is a personal pet peeve of Adam and Drew, an example they use to show how stupid some of their callers are. They make sure to draw attention to it by making the caller be quiet until they can time the space between beeps (usually between 30–45 seconds), and then every 20 seconds of the caller's question they will interrupt him or her so they can hear the beep. Some callers will deny that something is beeping, but then later in the call, Adam and Drew will find out there is a smoke detector over the caller's bed. Adam has commented that a pet lizard in the person's room would kill itself, yet the caller is totally oblivious. He also joked about how the children of the "smoke detector people" will buy recorded sounds of a smoke detector beep to help them sleep at night.
are acceptable, but the caller must be able to convincingly portray a real question and deceive the hosts into believing it is genuine. Blurting out a non-sequitur declaration once on the air is considered the mark of an imbecile and is not acceptable, and often the engineer on duty will simply “dump
” the caller’s utterance as though it were profanity, preventing it from ever being heard by anyone. Another long standing rule is that the caller must confess immediately if any host doubts their story and calls them out as bogus. This is for safety reasons, because if a caller seems to be in genuine distress or a crime is being described, the hosts are obligated to call the police. Refusal to confess that a call is bogus when confronted is considered a grave infraction. People that confess after a creative call and remain on the line are usually congratulated by the hosts, whether they were discovered as false or revealed it themselves at the end.
specialist (which is a form of psychiatry
), Dr. Drew can discern a great deal of information about callers from their voice patterns, much to the amazement of guests, co-hosts, and the caller themselves. A common example is recognizing that a caller is a habitual cannabis smoker judging by their distinctive laugh. But one of the more well-known examples are that he can pick up on the "little girl voice" (a common trait of adult women whom were severely traumatized as children) and guess down to a 6 month time period in a woman's life when her trauma occurred, and sometimes even the type of trauma. Many times callers will omit the fact they were traumatized until late in the call, or sometimes outright deny anything happened until the doctor describes a specific behavior (such as being touched by other children
or being spanked with an object). Sometimes this denial runs very deep to the great frustration of everyone, which is later followed by the caller circuitously revealing exactly as the doctor predicted.
Common reasons for this obstructive attitude on the caller's part are:
Often people do not like to admit it to themselves when an outside influence affects who they are and the choices they make. But regardless of this, the implicit memory
and alterations to the brain remain, even when the explicit memory
is lost or denied.
, as a method of signaling his disapproval and that the hosts should move on. Dr. Drew and Psycho Mike usually choose to respect the Rudyroll and immediately hang up on the caller, but they will sometimes overrule Anderson and call for the song to stop so they can continue speaking to the caller. Reasons for getting Rudyrolled include the caller being inattentive, slow to respond, argumentative with the hosts, or lying about their story. The term is derived from the internet prank Rickrolling
though it bares little resemblance to it.
The origin of this practice is somewhat convoluted. It started when Mike, in the guise of his character Rudy, fielded a call from a woman who said she performed analingus on her boyfriend, but only when high on marijuana. However she was concerned that the fact that he enjoyed receiving it meant he could be homosexual (based a common myth that the anus is only erogenous for gay men, when it actually has nothing to do with sexual orientation). “Rudy” explained that her boyfriend was definitely not gay and there was no problem with this, declaring “Smoke more blunts, lick more butt.” Mike later composed this phrase into a comedic soft ballad, performed in the guise of Rudy with an acoustic guitar. This inspired a contest for the show, where fans were encouraged to submit remixes of the song. The winning remix was eventually chosen and became the official “Rudyroll” song.
words. For example, "smelly finger" would be correctly solved with the answer "stinky pinky." The game is currently accompanied by a loop of the sax solo from Run Away
by SunStroke Project
. Mike is emphatic that only perfect rhymes are acceptable. This led to a conflict when Dr. Drew gave the clue, "type of coffee; designer brand," and his subsequent answer was, "java prada." While this is a completely correct form of assonance
rhyming, Mike and Anderson's lack of familiarity with the convention lead to them mocking him for it "not rhyming."
Callers would call in requesting that Mike do an impression of one or any scene from any movie. For movies that Mike is not familiar with, he would give a short, dismissive impression related to what he thinks the movie's main theme is. At the end of the show, Dr. Drew would join in and do one or two impressions of his own. This game is only played on full moon nights during the show's normal schedule.
, complete with the original theme song. Drew, Stryker and guests present attempted to fill in the blank(s) of an upcoming caller's problem or question.
Initially Stryker supplied the question, but recently call-screener Tyler began providing them through the computer for everyone on-air. Example (paraphrased):
with the staff of writers who discovered a correlation in the news stories they would read for joke material. Adam observed that "All weird stories emanate from either Germany
or Florida
." Originally intended as a game to be used on Kimmel's show, it was rejected and Adam decided to bring it to Loveline. The object of the game is to have a listener read off a strange, macabre, or just plain weird news story and have the hosts (and guests) choose whether the story originated from Germany or Florida. According to some listeners' best guesses, Adam is about 55% correct, and Dr. Drew is about 40%. Theme songs introducing the game have been created by guests and callers, most notably David Alan Grier's
opera
and beat-box renditions. http://www.dolland.net/loveline/sound/drops/germanyorflorida/index.html Carolla even brought the game with him when he guest hosted The Late Late Show in 2004 and on his short-lived Comedy Central
show Too Late with Adam Carolla
. Additionally, the game has been played on Carolla's morning show, The Adam Carolla Show.
Sex + Looks + Proximity = Base Price
Example Call: from October 26, 2003 Guest: Yellowcard
Girl calls in initially with a Germany or Florida question (as outlined above)
Adam: You're calling from Anaheim?
Caller: Yeah
Adam: Oh that's cheap, it doesn't involve flight or a hotel or transportation
Drew: I hear the smoke's pretty heavy out there today though.
Adam: Oh, okay, alright, so now we're up to 1600 dollars because of the smoke. So what do you look like?
Caller: I've got dark blond hair, green eyes.
Adam: Dark blond? That, that's brown right? Green Eyes?
Caller: Yeah
Adam: That's good, how much do you weigh?
Caller: Well okay, currently...
Adam: Hold on, hold on, you said well, okay, and currently. I'm gonna add $500 just for the currently and the hiccup there.
Caller: I just lost 30 pounds, and I'm still losing.
Adam: Mm-hmm, so whatcha at?
Caller: I'm at 180 now, I don't look 180 though!
Adam: Ok, so you look about 185,190?
Anderson Drop: Chunky
Caller: No no, I don't look 180, because I work out too so I'm not all...
Adam: Okay, hold on, we gotta crunch some numbers here. We were at 1500, the smoke got us to 1600, then, uh, 180 we're at 2500 now, that's on the higher end of the in the neighborhood rate, um, the local rate. What else you got going for yourself, Natalie?
Caller: I'm a virgin.
Adam: Ahhh, I'm gonna go ahead and take $750 off this price for the hymen. It's an incentive. It's an incentive to the girls as much as it is a hygiene issue.
Drew: A hymen incentive, staying a virgin, yeah, gives them something to look forward to, the Carolla.
Adam: We're at 1750 now, Natalie. Do you live at home?
Caller: Yeah, umm, well, with my grandparents. They go to Vegas, like, every weekend.
Adam: Yeah, but it's the smell of the mothballs and seeing the knitted toaster cozy, a note that says I love my granddaughter. I got an erection, I walk into the kitchen, and I'm looking for beer, I don't know, that's gonna bump us back up to 2000.
Caller: (laughs) That's funny because we actually have mothballs in our closet, cause we've been having this problem with moths.
Adam: Uh, I'm sorry we're at 2200 now. Do you have your own transportation?
Caller: Ummm, I could get it.
Adam: Ohhh, we're back up to 2500. Do you cook, Natalie?
Caller: Yeah, plus I work in an office for a Driver's Ed class.
Adam: If you can get me some of those completion tickets, I could probably drop another 200 or so, you're looking like about the 2000-2200 range of course there's gas and meals and things like that, there's a state tax.
song "Bleed American" is played as the show returns from a commercial, Adam will get pumped up, describing how this is the song that he envisions playing on the jukebox as he walks into a bar or party. He describes the scene in detail, changing it up somewhat each time, but the constants are: he's wearing sunglasses, has a leather jacket slung over his shoulder, wearing jeans and a white t-shirt, and boots "like John Travolta
in Saturday Night Fever
." He goes on, saying that everyone turns, in slow motion, to face "the Ace Man." All the girls look at him and nod. Before Adam can go further, Drew will interrupt, saying "...and here is what the girls see," at which point a goofy, cartoonish tune begins to play.
guested to promote her television show, Without a Trace
. During that show a caller described how he had survived years of sexual abuse, being kicked out of his foster family of five years after they discovered his homosexuality, and a recent loss in contact with his brother. Adam interrupted the caller's story "Oh, by the way, Without a Trace, ten o'clock on CBS." Adam insisted that he had to get a plug in for the show. This would get a rise out of the guest, before Adam and Dr. Drew would go back to advising the caller.
takes that as a challenge and says he can do it in 15 strokes. From there, the idea for a new game was born. First named "Name That Bone" by Dr. Drew, which was shot down and given the current title by Adam, the goal of "Jack That Dork" is to bet on how few strokes it can take for a contestant to masturbate to climax. The contestants are given a starting number, and the two contestants keep betting lower and lower until one of them is confident that the other cannot possibly do it, and says "Jack That Dork", forcing the opponent to attempt to masturbate to climax in that many or fewer strokes (back and forth is considered "one stroke").
There would be a pony wall about mid-chest high to obscure the actual act and any nudity from the audience. To aid in the task, the "jacker" is given their choice of porno, and a band would play "Flight of the Bumblebee
" during the attempt.
Finally, the "Boner Round" is announced, where the task is made much tougher by taking away the sexually stimulating material and replacing it with pictures of the jacker's grandmother, "Schindler's List
", or some other non-sexual visual stimulation, and then the game proceeds as normal. Adam describes the prize as a mid-class American car/SUV, like a Chevrolet Tahoe
, as he notes that most automobile prizes on game shows are never really upper-echelon cars.
Dr. Drew suggested Jeff Probst
as a possible host for "Jack That Dork".
Smoke Detector Adam can hear the low battery alarms of a smoke detector through the callers phone
Bakersfield The place Adam believes to be the worst place to live in California
Burbank
, a city in California, so named due to its zealous enforcement of traffic laws. Adam once received a ticket there for jaywalking
due to starting to cross a street when "don't walk" was flashing, even though he reached the other side before the traffic signal changed. The city is occasionally euphemistically referred to as "Rapebank."
Junior College or Community College Adam had a belief that not only is junior college a total waste of time for anyone other than Asian foreign exchange students but that he could smell junior college on his callers due to the foolishness of their questions. Adam once said that he understands if you're going to junior college to be a nurse or any other profession that's usually only taught at a junior college. He did not allow callers to refer to it as "community college." Often, at the utterance of "community college" he would quickly interject, "JUNIOR college — community college makes it O.K. [it's not O.K.]" He often joked that "Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays." He often calls it Junior Junior Junior Junior College. "I smell junior college on you..." Adam himself is a Los Angeles Valley College (a Junior College) dropout.
Working near metal Like junior college, Adam often predicted when male callers (or the abusive boyfriends/fathers of female callers) work with metal or in construction. Because he spent many years working construction, he often relays anecdotes about the people he worked with.
Cake versus Pie Adam has an extreme disdain for sheetcake (which he clearly implies should be referred to as "shit
cake", in defiance of censorship) in particular and birthday cakes in general (particularly the ones given at office parties) and at times ended up screaming at the mic about the sheep-like devotion people had to cake. Often Adam referred to the possibility of getting tuberculosis from the blowing out of the candles.
Women Who Are Reluctant to Perform Oral Sex on Their Husbands/Boyfriends There was virtually no issue that would so immediately and comprehensively change Adam's mood for the worse. As soon as it became apparent that a female caller had such an antipathy, Adam would typically fire off something along the lines of, "I'm done talkin' to you, screwball!"
People who Describe Aircraft Carriers as "floating cities" Adam repeatedly insinuated that such assertions were as inaccurate as they were pretentious.
LA Traffic Particularly the amount of tickets given out by the Burbank police, or what Adam refers to as the Rapebank department and the overzealousness of the police in LA in general with regards to moving violations. Adam frequently complains that police are using traffic tickets as fundraisers. After receiving a ticket for failing to display a front license plate, Adam went on a tirade against police officers, especially bike cops, for citing people for "chicken-s" ("chickenshit" abbreviated for radio use) infractions, especially given what he perceived to be law enforcement's reluctance or inability to deal with more serious concerns such as terrorism. He railed at any police listeners, "Remember when you joined the academy, you thought you were going to be rappelling down buildings, and growing a Fu Manchu and going deep under cover. Now you're writing chicken-s tickets. Don't be that guy." In addition red left-hand turn signals, esp. Culver City, are held in disdain.
Cranberry Sauce Adam has repeatedly mentioned, often around Thanksgiving time, that canned cranberry sauce is completely unacceptable, imploring listeners to avoid slaving over a hot stove all day preparing the bulk of the Thanksgiving meal only to turn around and "reach for the can opener like a dog" when it came to the cranberry sauce. On November 24, 2004 he gave his cranberry sauce recipe on air. The recipe is as follows: Empty one 12 ounce sack of cranberries into a pot. Add one cup of water and a half cup of sugar. (While many recipes call for an entire cup of sugar, Adam has stated his preference for a "tart" cranberry sauce as opposed to one that is overly sweet.) Additional sugar may be added according to taste. Boil for five to ten minutes.
Chef Boyardee Adam has mentioned several times that he absolutely hates all of the Chef Boyardee products, with a passion. He has said that if you are over the age of eight and you eat Chef Boyardee, then he will label you as someone that he can not speak to. According to Adam, you just have to be an idiot to eat Chef Boyardee.
The Nectar of the 'Tards Adam has mentioned several times that he considers Mountain Dew
to be "The Nectar of the 'Tards" and anyone who drinks it is probably destined for junior college. He has also, on several occasions, suggested adding a sterility agent to the drink, but in such a small amount that it would only affect those who drink it frequently. He has also, frequently, invoked similar sentiments in regard to SunnyD
, and deplores people who prefer that beverage to orange juice.
"That's why I make the Big Bucks!"
"That's why you make the Big Bucks!"
"Good times!"
"What ya gonna do?"
"It takes all kinds"
"He's a big boy!"
As Adam explains, the sound would be sufficient to drive an iguana or a houseplant insane; however, Loveline's callers, due to their unique unawareness of reality, have no idea what's being discussed when the hosts fixate on their background noise. Adam and Drew encourage the callers to locate the smoke detector, and hold the phone up to it, and occasionally one of the callers acknowledges that there is an electronic device on their ceiling that is chirping frequently. Invariably, however, they are totally unfazed by the frequent beeps, even when they admit that they have been hearing it for the last several months.
Loveline
Loveline is a syndicated radio call-in program in North America, offering medical and relationship advice to listeners, often with the assistance of guests, typically actors and musicians. Its flagship station is KROQ-FM in Los Angeles....
has frequent games and traditions in which phone callers, guests, and the hosts participate. Most of the games and traditions come and leave with their respective hosts.
Out-of-context sound bites
Engineer Anderson Cowan is fond of splicing up phrases Drew, Adam, Stryker, and guests have uttered on previous shows and "dropping" them into new shows mid-call, to the confusion of callers and amusement of seasoned listeners. Some favorites are:Drew Drops
- "You're fat."
- "Are you a MormonMormonThe term Mormon most commonly denotes an adherent, practitioner, follower, or constituent of Mormonism, which is the largest branch of the Latter Day Saint movement in restorationist Christianity...
?" (whenever a caller is from Utah or seems too sexually conservative, or ironically when caller seems especially debauched) - "Are you a midget?"
- "You're gay."
- "Do you live around or work around little kids?"
- "Do you ride bicycles?"
- "You're a lesbian." (Often repeated several times as Anderson has many similar clips of this)
- "You're a heroin addict."
- "Faggot better run."
- "Yes, sir, Mr. Carolla!"
- "I'm a rapist."
- "When I was 19, I ate six boiled peyotePeyoteLophophora williamsii , better known by its common name Peyote , is a small, spineless cactus with psychoactive alkaloids, particularly mescaline.It is native to southwestern Texas and Mexico...
buttons and stayed up all night, but felt no effect." - "Take a little Vicodin tonight, take some Codeine, smoke a little heroin..."
- "You strike me as someone who would be into men."
- "That's hot."
- "Who do you think you're talking to?!"
- "I have to kill this 8 year old girl and rape her when she's dead"
- "I'm an expert, listen to me for Christ's sake, you're not an expert, your friends aren't experts. I am I am I am!"
- "Listen, Listen, Listen..."
- "Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudy!!!!!!"
Some of the Drew Drops were set to music in the "Dr. Drew Shuffle" and the later "Dr. Drew Boogie."
Drew Drops website
There are some other drops taken from a skit on the television show Crank Yankers
Crank Yankers
Crank Yankers is an American TV show produced by Adam Carolla, Jimmy Kimmel and Daniel Kellison that featured actual prank calls made by show regulars and celebrity guests, and re-enacted onscreen by puppets for a visual aid to show the viewer what is happening in the call...
. Carolla tried to 'hip up' Drew by having him use 'urban' lingo.
- "Why ain't you get no play, playa?"
- "Dr. Drew in the hizzy!"
- "You gotta get out there and get your bitch spunk drunk."
- "So you ain't hittin' the skins?"
- "I'm tellin' you, nigga..."
- "Look muthafuka' I'm tellin' you"
Host drops
- Cyber Adam
- Psycho Mike: "I'm Psycho Mike and I'm a pedophile"
Guest Drops
Loveline's various guests are also recorded in these drops.- Violent J: "Whoa! Oh my God! Somebody- hold the phones! I can't believe it!"
- Violent J: "The only weight I lift is my own: my big fat ass every day when I wake up. HAHAHAHAHA, that was pretty good! AHAHAHAHAHA! My fat ass when I-HAHAHA! Oh my God, play that again!"
- Tom GreenTom GreenMichael Thomas "Tom" Green is a Canadian actor, rapper, writer, comedian, talk show host and media personality. Best known for his shock humour brand of comedy, Green found mainstream prominence via his MTV television show The Tom Green Show...
: "Swedish. Swedish. Swedish. Swedish. SwedishSwedishSweSweSwe.... " - New YorkTiffany PollardTiffany Pollard is an American reality television personality and actress. She is best known as New York and for her participation in VH1's Flavor of Love and I Love New York television series. Pollard was given the nickname by rapper Flavor Flav, whom she dated on both season 1 and season 2 of...
: "Now girl, when you blow your man, you have to relax, like you really have to wanna take him, in your mouth! Let me have it, squeeze me, bite me, taste me, love me." - Another from New YorkTiffany PollardTiffany Pollard is an American reality television personality and actress. She is best known as New York and for her participation in VH1's Flavor of Love and I Love New York television series. Pollard was given the nickname by rapper Flavor Flav, whom she dated on both season 1 and season 2 of...
: "You just gotta relax your throat, forget that you have gag reflexes, and take him all in. Just don't eat before you do him, basically, so you don't, you know, puke." - Stephen "Steve-OSteve-OSteve-O is an American stunt performer and television personality. His entertainment career is mostly centered around his performance stunts on the American TV series Jackass and accompanying movies....
" Glover: "Hey Drew, why is it that when you rub your balls while you're jerking off, it just feels so much better?"- Drew: "I hadn't noticed that."
- Anthony "ANT" KalloniatisAnt (comedian)ANT is an American stand-up comedian and actor. ANT prefers his name spelled in all capital letters.ANT performed at comedy clubs across the USA beginning in 1991...
: "I'm Ant!" - Bunny LoveCathouse: The SeriesCathouse: The Series is an HBO television series that documents the professional lives of the workers at the Moonlite BunnyRanch, a legal brothel in Nevada....
: "Yay for fisting!" - Seth GreenSeth GreenSeth Benjamin Green is an American actor, comedian, voice actor, and television producer. He is well known for his role as Daniel "Oz" Osbourne in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, as Dr. Evil's son Scott in the Austin Powers series of comedy films, Mitch Miller in That '70s Show, and the voice of Chris...
as Chris GriffinChris GriffinChris Griffin is a character from the animated television series Family Guy. He is the son and middle child of Peter and Lois Griffin, brother of Stewie and Meg Griffin. Chris is voiced by Seth Green.-Personality:...
: "Is it lonely up there on your pedestal?" - Alex BorsteinAlex BorsteinAlexandrea "Alex" Borstein is an American actress, singer, voice actress, writer and comedian. She is best known for her long-running role as Lois Griffin on the animated television series Family Guy, and as a cast member on the sketch comedy series MADtv.A native of Highland Park, Illinois,...
as her Hungarian grandmother: "Why you so fat?" - Three 6 MafiaThree 6 MafiaThree 6 Mafia are an Academy Award-winning, American rap group originating from Memphis, Tennessee. Formed in 1991 as Triple 6 Mafia, by DJ Paul, Juicy J, & Lord Infamous, the group at its most featured six members including; Crunchy Black, Gangsta Boo and Koopsta Knicca...
: "Ever heard a song called Next Caller?" - Rob DyrdekRob DyrdekRobert Stanley "Rob" Dyrdek is an American professional skateboarder, actor, entrepreneur, producer, philanthropist, and reality TV star. He is best known for his roles in the reality shows Rob and Big, Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory and Ridiculousness .- Personal life :Rob Dyrdek was born in...
: "I just don't think there's anything appropriate about screwin' a bag in a couch." - Dr. Bruce: "I had anal sex and passed out a couple times."
Smoke Detector Batteries
Every once in a while, while a caller is asking a totally unrelated question, Adam and Drew hear a tiny, high-pitched beep in the background and jump all over the caller. They have been conditioned to recognize the tell-tale sound of a smoke detectorSmoke detector
A smoke detector is a device that detects smoke, typically as an indicator of fire. Commercial, industrial, and mass residential devices issue a signal to a fire alarm system, while household detectors, known as smoke alarms, generally issue a local audible and/or visual alarm from the detector...
chirping to remind the owner to replace the battery. This is a personal pet peeve of Adam and Drew, an example they use to show how stupid some of their callers are. They make sure to draw attention to it by making the caller be quiet until they can time the space between beeps (usually between 30–45 seconds), and then every 20 seconds of the caller's question they will interrupt him or her so they can hear the beep. Some callers will deny that something is beeping, but then later in the call, Adam and Drew will find out there is a smoke detector over the caller's bed. Adam has commented that a pet lizard in the person's room would kill itself, yet the caller is totally oblivious. He also joked about how the children of the "smoke detector people" will buy recorded sounds of a smoke detector beep to help them sleep at night.
Bogus Calls
There is a long-running rule by the hosts of the show that bogus callsPrank call
A prank call is a form of practical joke committed over the telephone. Prank phone calls began to gain an America-wide following over a period of many years, as they gradually became a staple of the obscure and amusing cassette tapes traded amongst musicians, sound engineers, and media traders...
are acceptable, but the caller must be able to convincingly portray a real question and deceive the hosts into believing it is genuine. Blurting out a non-sequitur declaration once on the air is considered the mark of an imbecile and is not acceptable, and often the engineer on duty will simply “dump
Broadcast delay
In radio and television, broadcast delay refers to the practice of intentionally delaying broadcast of live material. A short delay is often used to prevent profanity, bloopers, violence, or other undesirable material from making it to air, including more mundane problems such as technical...
” the caller’s utterance as though it were profanity, preventing it from ever being heard by anyone. Another long standing rule is that the caller must confess immediately if any host doubts their story and calls them out as bogus. This is for safety reasons, because if a caller seems to be in genuine distress or a crime is being described, the hosts are obligated to call the police. Refusal to confess that a call is bogus when confronted is considered a grave infraction. People that confess after a creative call and remain on the line are usually congratulated by the hosts, whether they were discovered as false or revealed it themselves at the end.
Mason Jar
References to a mason jars indicate that a given call is a bogus call, and the caller’s story is entirely fabricated. The expression originated with a caller in the late 90s who would call the show with elaborate stories, eventually working in the line "She had a butthole the size of a mason jar." This punchline has since been copied by many other callers which have used both the term "Butt-Hole" and "Ass-Hole." The Mason Jar shtick was around until shortly after the Janet Jackson Super Bowl "Wardrobe Malfunction" caused an extreme tightening of the rules of conduct which caused the show to have to censor the term "Ass-Hole," though this restriction eventually relaxed. The phrase "mason jar" is also used by the hosts when they suspect a call is fake. In 2003, the original caller from Tucson contacted Doctor Drew and apologized for what he had planned to be a simple joke-call that got out of hand. Doctor Drew spoke of his contact with the caller on many episodes in the latter half of 2003 and even offered to have the young man from Tucson, AZ on the show. The caller never accepted the invitation.Dr. Drew's "Powers of Mind-reading"
Because of his medical training and experiences as a practicing addiction medicineAddiction Medicine
Addiction medicine is a medical specialty that deals with the treatment of addiction. The specialty often crosses over into other areas, since various aspects of addiction fall within the fields of public health, psychology, social work, psychiatry, and internal medicine, among others...
specialist (which is a form of psychiatry
Psychiatry
Psychiatry is the medical specialty devoted to the study and treatment of mental disorders. These mental disorders include various affective, behavioural, cognitive and perceptual abnormalities...
), Dr. Drew can discern a great deal of information about callers from their voice patterns, much to the amazement of guests, co-hosts, and the caller themselves. A common example is recognizing that a caller is a habitual cannabis smoker judging by their distinctive laugh. But one of the more well-known examples are that he can pick up on the "little girl voice" (a common trait of adult women whom were severely traumatized as children) and guess down to a 6 month time period in a woman's life when her trauma occurred, and sometimes even the type of trauma. Many times callers will omit the fact they were traumatized until late in the call, or sometimes outright deny anything happened until the doctor describes a specific behavior (such as being touched by other children
Child-on-child sexual abuse
Child-on-child sexual abuse refers to a form of child sexual abuse in which a prepubescent child is sexually abused by one or more other children or adolescent youths, and in which no adult is directly involved. The term describes sexual activity between children that occurs without consent,...
or being spanked with an object). Sometimes this denial runs very deep to the great frustration of everyone, which is later followed by the caller circuitously revealing exactly as the doctor predicted.
Common reasons for this obstructive attitude on the caller's part are:
- They perceived the abusive behavior as "normal"
- They don't want to acknowledge the event because it was too painful and they feel better imagining it never happened.
- They "put it behind them long ago" without any sort of psychological treatment, despite the fact that they continue to be miserable in the present.
Often people do not like to admit it to themselves when an outside influence affects who they are and the choices they make. But regardless of this, the implicit memory
Implicit memory
Implicit memory is a type of memory in which previous experiences aid in the performance of a task without conscious awareness of these previous experiences. Evidence for implicit memory arises in priming, a process whereby subjects show improved performance on tasks for which they have been...
and alterations to the brain remain, even when the explicit memory
Explicit memory
Explicit memory is the conscious, intentional recollection of previous experiences and information. People use explicit memory throughout the day, such as remembering the time of an appointment or recollecting an event from years ago....
is lost or denied.
Many voices of Psycho Mike
Host Mike Catherwood does a variety of impressions on-air of various celebrities, most commonly:- Gene SimmonsGene SimmonsGene Simmons is an Israeli-American entrepreneur, singer-songwriter, actor, and rock bassist. Known as "The Demon", he is the bassist/vocalist of Kiss, a hard rock band he co-founded in the early 1970s.-Early life:...
, who often brags with tall taleTall taleA tall tale is a story with unbelievable elements, related as if it were true and factual. Some such stories are exaggerations of actual events, for example fish stories such as, "that fish was so big, why I tell ya', it nearly sank the boat when I pulled it in!" Other tall tales are completely...
s about his sexual prowess and talks of ways for musicians to make the most money. - Spencer PrattSpencer PrattSpencer William Pratt is a former American television personality known for his role on MTV's The Hills, along with his wife Heidi Montag. He is the older brother of Stephanie Pratt, who also appears on The Hills....
, who is portrayed as a white supremacist obsessed with impossibly proportioned women and ostentatious displays of wealth. - Manny RamirezManny RamírezManuel "Manny" Arístides Ramírez Onelcida is a retired Dominican-American professional baseball outfielder. He was recognized for great batting skill and power, a nine-time Silver Slugger and one of 25 players to hit 500 career home runs. Ramirez's 21 grand slams are third all-time, and his 28...
, who primarily speaks in strange non sequiturs. - Adam CarollaAdam CarollaAdam Carolla is an American radio personality, television host, comedian, and actor. He currently hosts The Adam Carolla Show, a talk show distributed as a podcast on the ACE Broadcasting Network...
, the former Loveline co-host - An original character named Rudy, Catherwoods's most popular character, who is a parody of cholo stereotypes in southern California. Recurring themes with Rudy include his experiences while in prison (such as being sexually assaulted by his cell-mate), bizarre and sometimes dangerous folk remedies he heard from his grandmother, intimate hair removal on men, and dealings with his long-time girlfriend, "Sad Girl."
- Sven, introduced in 2011. He is a stereotypical Germanic clubberNightclubA nightclub is an entertainment venue which usually operates late into the night...
who "eats the ecstasy" and has sex with lots of women. Sven never talks in a normal rhythm; instead, Catherwood chooses to rap along to an instrumental mix that includes "Dirty BitThe Time (Dirty Bit)"The Time " is a song by American hip hop group The Black Eyed Peas from their sixth studio album, The Beginning. The song was released as the album's lead single on November 5, 2010. The chorus of the song samples " The Time of My Life" from the 1987 film Dirty Dancing...
" and portions of other techno hits. - Nicolas CageNicolas CageNicolas Cage is an American actor, producer and director, having appeared in over 60 films including Raising Arizona , The Rock , Face/Off , Gone in 60 Seconds , Adaptation , National Treasure , Ghost Rider , Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans , and...
, who constantly makes mundane references to his movies.
Rudyrolling
When Anderson, the show’s engineer, dislikes a caller or their story, he will drown them out by playing a fan-made remix of Psycho Mike’s spoof ballad, Smoke More Blunts, Lick More Butt. The song is used in a manner comparable to the gong in The Gong ShowThe Gong Show
The Gong Show is an amateur talent contest franchised by Sony Pictures Television to many countries. It was broadcast on NBC's daytime schedule from June 14, 1976 through July 21, 1978, and in first-run syndication from 1976–1980 and 1988–1989. The show was produced by Chuck Barris, who also served...
, as a method of signaling his disapproval and that the hosts should move on. Dr. Drew and Psycho Mike usually choose to respect the Rudyroll and immediately hang up on the caller, but they will sometimes overrule Anderson and call for the song to stop so they can continue speaking to the caller. Reasons for getting Rudyrolled include the caller being inattentive, slow to respond, argumentative with the hosts, or lying about their story. The term is derived from the internet prank Rickrolling
Rickrolling
Rickrolling is an Internet meme involving the music video for the 1987 Rick Astley song "Never Gonna Give You Up". The meme is a bait and switch; a person provides a hyperlink seemingly relevant to the topic at hand, but actually leads to Astley's video...
though it bares little resemblance to it.
The origin of this practice is somewhat convoluted. It started when Mike, in the guise of his character Rudy, fielded a call from a woman who said she performed analingus on her boyfriend, but only when high on marijuana. However she was concerned that the fact that he enjoyed receiving it meant he could be homosexual (based a common myth that the anus is only erogenous for gay men, when it actually has nothing to do with sexual orientation). “Rudy” explained that her boyfriend was definitely not gay and there was no problem with this, declaring “Smoke more blunts, lick more butt.” Mike later composed this phrase into a comedic soft ballad, performed in the guise of Rudy with an acoustic guitar. This inspired a contest for the show, where fans were encouraged to submit remixes of the song. The winning remix was eventually chosen and became the official “Rudyroll” song.
Stinky Pinky
A game introduced by Mike on October 24, 2010. The game is composed of riddles which must be solved using two rhymingRhyme
A rhyme is a repetition of similar sounds in two or more words and is most often used in poetry and songs. The word "rhyme" may also refer to a short poem, such as a rhyming couplet or other brief rhyming poem such as nursery rhymes.-Etymology:...
words. For example, "smelly finger" would be correctly solved with the answer "stinky pinky." The game is currently accompanied by a loop of the sax solo from Run Away
Run Away (SunStroke Project and Olia Tira song)
"Run Away" is a song performed by SunStroke Project and Olia Tira, and represented Moldova at the Eurovision Song Contest 2010 in May 2010 in Oslo, Norway. The song won the final of the O melodie pentru Europa 2010, that took place on 6 March...
by SunStroke Project
SunStroke Project
SunStroke Project are a Moldovan dance/pop trio composed of Sergei Yalovitsky , Anton Ragoza and Sergey Stepanov , the band's producer is Aleksei Myslicky. They are famous for representing Moldova in the Eurovision Song Contest in 2010...
. Mike is emphatic that only perfect rhymes are acceptable. This led to a conflict when Dr. Drew gave the clue, "type of coffee; designer brand," and his subsequent answer was, "java prada." While this is a completely correct form of assonance
Assonance
Assonance is the repetition of vowel sounds to create internal rhyming within phrases or sentences, and together with alliteration and consonance serves as one of the building blocks of verse. For example, in the phrase "Do you like blue?", the is repeated within the sentence and is...
rhyming, Mike and Anderson's lack of familiarity with the convention lead to them mocking him for it "not rhyming."
Full Moon Madness
This game was introduced on June 15, 2011. Mike was emotionally preoccupied prior to the show, and Dr. Drew and radio engineer Anderson Cowan noticed his peculiarly overcompensating performance, attributing it to the full moon that was present that night. Later, after a mocking call that complained about perceived misogyny though the show's history, a new game was devised to lighten the mood.Callers would call in requesting that Mike do an impression of one or any scene from any movie. For movies that Mike is not familiar with, he would give a short, dismissive impression related to what he thinks the movie's main theme is. At the end of the show, Dr. Drew would join in and do one or two impressions of his own. This game is only played on full moon nights during the show's normal schedule.
The Match Game
A variation on the 1970s game show of the same nameMatch Game
Match Game is an American television game show in which contestants attempted to match celebrities' answers to fill-in-the-blank questions...
, complete with the original theme song. Drew, Stryker and guests present attempted to fill in the blank(s) of an upcoming caller's problem or question.
Initially Stryker supplied the question, but recently call-screener Tyler began providing them through the computer for everyone on-air. Example (paraphrased):
- Stryker: "I got a cut on my penis from a [blank] [blank]. Will it heal?" What do you think?
- CoolioCoolioArtis Leon Ivey Jr. , better known by the stage name Coolio, is an American musician, rapper, actor and record producer.-Late 80s:He recorded two singles in the late 80s, titled "Watcha Gonna Do" and "You're Gonna Miss Me"...
: From a [dry] [vagina]. - Stryker: From a [sharp] [tooth].
- Dr. Bruce: From a [razor] [blade]. Maybe he was shaving.
- Stryker: So caller, what happened?
- Caller: I got a cut on my penis from her [tongue] [ring].
Stryker Drops
The majority of Stryker's drops originate from Anderson taking advantage of Stryker's tendency to comment on a caller's problem in the first person, many of which make Stryker out to be gay. Anderson seems to be deliberately collecting them.- Stryker: "Drew?"
- Drew: "Yes?"
- Stryker: "Will you be my doctor?"
- Drew: "Yes?"
- Stryker: "I masturbate about 10 to 12 times a day."
- Drew: "Yeesh!"
- "I ejaculated on Seth McFarlane!"
- "Slap me on the ass as hard as you can the next time we have sex, you son of a bitch!"
- "I love it! They're gonna be divorced in a year!"
- "Hello, this is Stryker, a woman trapped in a man's body!"
- "I insist you stick it in my ass!"
- "Would you try it in my ass? I've never had it before."
- "This guy... This guy is a catch, man."
- "Drew, I wanna have your babies."
- "I'm gay, and I slept with my father!"
- "Drew...I'm very into you."
- "I have nipples. Could you milk me?" (quote from Meet the ParentsMeet the ParentsMeet the Parents is a 2000 American comedy film written by Jim Herzfeld and John Hamburg and directed by Jay Roach. Starring Robert De Niro and Ben Stiller, the film chronicles a series of unfortunate events that befall a good-hearted but hapless male nurse while visiting his girlfriend's parents...
) - "Hey Drew, wanna do the anal experience?"
Germany or Florida?
First mentioned on October 19, 2003 and first played on October 26, 2003, Germany or Florida is a game that originated at Jimmy Kimmel LiveJimmy Kimmel Live
Jimmy Kimmel Live! is an American late-night talk show, created and hosted by Jimmy Kimmel and broadcast on ABC.The nightly hour-long show made its debut on January 26, 2003, following Super Bowl XXXVII. Jimmy Kimmel Live! is produced by Jackhole Productions in association with ABC Studios...
with the staff of writers who discovered a correlation in the news stories they would read for joke material. Adam observed that "All weird stories emanate from either Germany
Germany
Germany , officially the Federal Republic of Germany , is a federal parliamentary republic in Europe. The country consists of 16 states while the capital and largest city is Berlin. Germany covers an area of 357,021 km2 and has a largely temperate seasonal climate...
or Florida
Florida
Florida is a state in the southeastern United States, located on the nation's Atlantic and Gulf coasts. It is bordered to the west by the Gulf of Mexico, to the north by Alabama and Georgia and to the east by the Atlantic Ocean. With a population of 18,801,310 as measured by the 2010 census, it...
." Originally intended as a game to be used on Kimmel's show, it was rejected and Adam decided to bring it to Loveline. The object of the game is to have a listener read off a strange, macabre, or just plain weird news story and have the hosts (and guests) choose whether the story originated from Germany or Florida. According to some listeners' best guesses, Adam is about 55% correct, and Dr. Drew is about 40%. Theme songs introducing the game have been created by guests and callers, most notably David Alan Grier's
David Alan Grier
David Alan Grier , also known as "D.A.G." , is an American actor and comedian known for his work on the sketch comedy television show In Living Color.-Early life:...
opera
Opera
Opera is an art form in which singers and musicians perform a dramatic work combining text and musical score, usually in a theatrical setting. Opera incorporates many of the elements of spoken theatre, such as acting, scenery, and costumes and sometimes includes dance...
and beat-box renditions. http://www.dolland.net/loveline/sound/drops/germanyorflorida/index.html Carolla even brought the game with him when he guest hosted The Late Late Show in 2004 and on his short-lived Comedy Central
Comedy Central
Comedy Central is an American cable television and satellite television channel that carries comedy programming, both original and syndicated....
show Too Late with Adam Carolla
Too Late with Adam Carolla
Too Late with Adam Carolla was a late night talk show hosted by Adam Carolla and produced by Jackhole Industries, a team made up of old collaborators: Carolla, Jimmy Kimmel, and Daniel Kellison. The show, which mixed celebrity interviews, chatty everyday observations, scripted sketches, and phone...
. Additionally, the game has been played on Carolla's morning show, The Adam Carolla Show.
Ace's Mexican Ranchero Accordion Countdown
After listening to endless hours of ranchero music during construction work, Adam discovered that nearly every song contained an accordion in the background. Adam decided he could make a game out of it, and thus, on the October 19, 2004 show, the game was born. The objective of "Ace's Mexican Ranchero Accordion Countdown" was to guess how many seconds it took until an accordion played in a ranchero song, which would be started from a random point. Usually played with a guest or occasionally a caller, the most common (and usually correct) answer was "immediately."Lightning Round
Although not technically a game, it was a favorite show ender for Carolla much to the chagrin of Dr. Drew. It consisted of his imitation of the non-stop morning DJ ("slow 'n' go watch for brake lights, mattress in lane!", "7:29, 29 past the hour", "50,000 watt flamethrower!", "Van Nuys checkin' in at 63, Laguna Beach checkin' in at 63, Burbank checkin' in at a toasty 63...", "Let's check the time real fast!", "I'M A CRAZY MAN! I WILL DROP TROW!"), a vicious cowbell, and audio drops of thunderclaps.General Caller Betting
Without talking to a caller for more than 15–20 seconds Dr. Drew and Carolla would put them on hold and place $1 bets on the caller's past. The theory being that they have fielded so many calls by so many people that they could hear the specific problem in the caller's voice and detect what events led to their present. Example:- Caller: I'm just depressed all the time.
- Carolla: I can hear the little girl voice, Drew. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
- Drew: My wife has my wallet. I'm good for the dollar.
- Carolla: I'm going with...father, no, a weird Uncle touched her at the age of...9.
- Drew: I hear molestation too, but I'm going with kid-on-kid. This was someone she played with. Maybe a year or two younger.
- Carolla: Caller?
- Caller: My best friend in 3rd grade forced me to touch her repeatedly.
Getting the Timing Just Right
From 2000 to 2003, Adam and Drew would play around with the intro bumper from the song "I Disappear" by Metallica. The bumper has a long guitar riff and then a pause before the riff goes again. Adam would always try to fit something into that pause, like "It's Loveline with Adam and Dr. Drew" or "Loveline, fastest growing outlaw radio show in North America". Sometimes Drew would try it out too. The most famous example of this would have to be when Adam timed a fart perfectly.How Much Does It Cost To Have Adam Visit A Caller's House
Men usually start higher than women unless she is unattractive or overweight. Then the initial price is established upon determination of a callers location.Sex + Looks + Proximity = Base Price
Example Call: from October 26, 2003 Guest: Yellowcard
Girl calls in initially with a Germany or Florida question (as outlined above)
Adam: You're calling from Anaheim?
Caller: Yeah
Adam: Oh that's cheap, it doesn't involve flight or a hotel or transportation
Drew: I hear the smoke's pretty heavy out there today though.
Adam: Oh, okay, alright, so now we're up to 1600 dollars because of the smoke. So what do you look like?
Caller: I've got dark blond hair, green eyes.
Adam: Dark blond? That, that's brown right? Green Eyes?
Caller: Yeah
Adam: That's good, how much do you weigh?
Caller: Well okay, currently...
Adam: Hold on, hold on, you said well, okay, and currently. I'm gonna add $500 just for the currently and the hiccup there.
Caller: I just lost 30 pounds, and I'm still losing.
Adam: Mm-hmm, so whatcha at?
Caller: I'm at 180 now, I don't look 180 though!
Adam: Ok, so you look about 185,190?
Anderson Drop: Chunky
Caller: No no, I don't look 180, because I work out too so I'm not all...
Adam: Okay, hold on, we gotta crunch some numbers here. We were at 1500, the smoke got us to 1600, then, uh, 180 we're at 2500 now, that's on the higher end of the in the neighborhood rate, um, the local rate. What else you got going for yourself, Natalie?
Caller: I'm a virgin.
Adam: Ahhh, I'm gonna go ahead and take $750 off this price for the hymen. It's an incentive. It's an incentive to the girls as much as it is a hygiene issue.
Drew: A hymen incentive, staying a virgin, yeah, gives them something to look forward to, the Carolla.
Adam: We're at 1750 now, Natalie. Do you live at home?
Caller: Yeah, umm, well, with my grandparents. They go to Vegas, like, every weekend.
Adam: Yeah, but it's the smell of the mothballs and seeing the knitted toaster cozy, a note that says I love my granddaughter. I got an erection, I walk into the kitchen, and I'm looking for beer, I don't know, that's gonna bump us back up to 2000.
Caller: (laughs) That's funny because we actually have mothballs in our closet, cause we've been having this problem with moths.
Adam: Uh, I'm sorry we're at 2200 now. Do you have your own transportation?
Caller: Ummm, I could get it.
Adam: Ohhh, we're back up to 2500. Do you cook, Natalie?
Caller: Yeah, plus I work in an office for a Driver's Ed class.
Adam: If you can get me some of those completion tickets, I could probably drop another 200 or so, you're looking like about the 2000-2200 range of course there's gas and meals and things like that, there's a state tax.
"Bleed American"
Whenever the Jimmy Eat WorldJimmy Eat World
Jimmy Eat World is an American alternative rock band from Mesa, Arizona, that formed in 1993. The band is composed of lead vocalist and guitarist Jim Adkins, guitarist and backing vocalist Tom Linton, bassist Rick Burch and drummer Zach Lind....
song "Bleed American" is played as the show returns from a commercial, Adam will get pumped up, describing how this is the song that he envisions playing on the jukebox as he walks into a bar or party. He describes the scene in detail, changing it up somewhat each time, but the constants are: he's wearing sunglasses, has a leather jacket slung over his shoulder, wearing jeans and a white t-shirt, and boots "like John Travolta
John Travolta
John Joseph Travolta is an American actor, dancer and singer. Travolta first became known in the 1970s, after appearing on the television series Welcome Back, Kotter and starring in the box office successes Saturday Night Fever and Grease...
in Saturday Night Fever
Saturday Night Fever
Saturday Night Fever is a 1977 drama film directed by John Badham and starring: John Travolta as Tony Manero, an immature young man whose weekends are spent visiting a local Brooklyn discothèque; Karen Lynn Gorney as his dance partner and eventual friend; and Donna Pescow as Tony's former dance...
." He goes on, saying that everyone turns, in slow motion, to face "the Ace Man." All the girls look at him and nod. Before Adam can go further, Drew will interrupt, saying "...and here is what the girls see," at which point a goofy, cartoonish tune begins to play.
Inappropriate Plugs
On occasion, Adam would give those who guested on the show a plug at an inappropriate time. For example, on the February 23, 2003 show, Poppy MontgomeryPoppy Montgomery
Poppy Montgomery , is an Australian actress. She is best known for her role as Samantha Spade on Without a Trace...
guested to promote her television show, Without a Trace
Without a Trace
Without a Trace is an American television drama which originally ran on CBS from September 26, 2002 to May 19, 2009. The series was set in New York City and concerned a fictitious FBI Missing Persons Unit.-Premise:...
. During that show a caller described how he had survived years of sexual abuse, being kicked out of his foster family of five years after they discovered his homosexuality, and a recent loss in contact with his brother. Adam interrupted the caller's story "Oh, by the way, Without a Trace, ten o'clock on CBS." Adam insisted that he had to get a plug in for the show. This would get a rise out of the guest, before Adam and Dr. Drew would go back to advising the caller.
Jack That Dork
On the February 8, 2004 show, when a caller states offhand that he can masturbate to climax in the time span of a commercial, Adam CarollaAdam Carolla
Adam Carolla is an American radio personality, television host, comedian, and actor. He currently hosts The Adam Carolla Show, a talk show distributed as a podcast on the ACE Broadcasting Network...
takes that as a challenge and says he can do it in 15 strokes. From there, the idea for a new game was born. First named "Name That Bone" by Dr. Drew, which was shot down and given the current title by Adam, the goal of "Jack That Dork" is to bet on how few strokes it can take for a contestant to masturbate to climax. The contestants are given a starting number, and the two contestants keep betting lower and lower until one of them is confident that the other cannot possibly do it, and says "Jack That Dork", forcing the opponent to attempt to masturbate to climax in that many or fewer strokes (back and forth is considered "one stroke").
There would be a pony wall about mid-chest high to obscure the actual act and any nudity from the audience. To aid in the task, the "jacker" is given their choice of porno, and a band would play "Flight of the Bumblebee
Flight of the Bumblebee
"Flight of the Bumblebee" is an orchestral interlude written by Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov for his opera The Tale of Tsar Saltan, composed in 1899–1900. The piece closes Act III, Tableau 1, during which the magic Swan-Bird changes Prince Gvidon Saltanovich into an insect so that he can fly away to...
" during the attempt.
Finally, the "Boner Round" is announced, where the task is made much tougher by taking away the sexually stimulating material and replacing it with pictures of the jacker's grandmother, "Schindler's List
Schindler's List
Schindler's List is a 1993 American film about Oskar Schindler, a German businessman who saved the lives of more than a thousand mostly Polish-Jewish refugees during the Holocaust by employing them in his factories. The film was directed by Steven Spielberg, and based on the novel Schindler's Ark...
", or some other non-sexual visual stimulation, and then the game proceeds as normal. Adam describes the prize as a mid-class American car/SUV, like a Chevrolet Tahoe
Chevrolet Tahoe
The Chevrolet Tahoe are full-size SUVs from General Motors. Chevrolet and GMC sold two different-sized SUVs under their Blazer/Jimmy model names through the early 1990s. This situation changed when GMC rebadged the full-size Jimmy as the Yukon in 1992...
, as he notes that most automobile prizes on game shows are never really upper-echelon cars.
Dr. Drew suggested Jeff Probst
Jeff Probst
Jeffrey Lee "Jeff" Probst is an American game show host, executive producer and a reporter. He is best known as the host of the U.S. version of the reality show Survivor.-Biography:...
as a possible host for "Jack That Dork".
Adam's Pet Peeves
There are a number of issues and pet peeves that Adam repeatedly visited on Loveline with various levels of hostility and humor.Smoke Detector Adam can hear the low battery alarms of a smoke detector through the callers phone
Bakersfield The place Adam believes to be the worst place to live in California
Burbank
Burbank
Burbank is both a common placename in English-speaking countries and a common surname . The name Burbank is of English origin and means "lives on the castle's hill".- United States :* Burbank, California...
, a city in California, so named due to its zealous enforcement of traffic laws. Adam once received a ticket there for jaywalking
Jaywalking
Jaywalking is an informal term commonly used in North America to refer to illegal or reckless pedestrian crossing of a roadway. Examples include a pedestrian crossing between intersections without yielding to drivers and starting to cross a crosswalk at a signalized intersection without waiting...
due to starting to cross a street when "don't walk" was flashing, even though he reached the other side before the traffic signal changed. The city is occasionally euphemistically referred to as "Rapebank."
Junior College or Community College Adam had a belief that not only is junior college a total waste of time for anyone other than Asian foreign exchange students but that he could smell junior college on his callers due to the foolishness of their questions. Adam once said that he understands if you're going to junior college to be a nurse or any other profession that's usually only taught at a junior college. He did not allow callers to refer to it as "community college." Often, at the utterance of "community college" he would quickly interject, "JUNIOR college — community college makes it O.K. [it's not O.K.]" He often joked that "Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays." He often calls it Junior Junior Junior Junior College. "I smell junior college on you..." Adam himself is a Los Angeles Valley College (a Junior College) dropout.
Working near metal Like junior college, Adam often predicted when male callers (or the abusive boyfriends/fathers of female callers) work with metal or in construction. Because he spent many years working construction, he often relays anecdotes about the people he worked with.
Cake versus Pie Adam has an extreme disdain for sheetcake (which he clearly implies should be referred to as "shit
Shit
Shit is usually considered vulgar and profane in Modern English. As a noun it refers to fecal matter and as a verb it means to defecate or defecate in; in the plural it means diarrhea...
cake", in defiance of censorship) in particular and birthday cakes in general (particularly the ones given at office parties) and at times ended up screaming at the mic about the sheep-like devotion people had to cake. Often Adam referred to the possibility of getting tuberculosis from the blowing out of the candles.
Women Who Are Reluctant to Perform Oral Sex on Their Husbands/Boyfriends There was virtually no issue that would so immediately and comprehensively change Adam's mood for the worse. As soon as it became apparent that a female caller had such an antipathy, Adam would typically fire off something along the lines of, "I'm done talkin' to you, screwball!"
People who Describe Aircraft Carriers as "floating cities" Adam repeatedly insinuated that such assertions were as inaccurate as they were pretentious.
LA Traffic Particularly the amount of tickets given out by the Burbank police, or what Adam refers to as the Rapebank department and the overzealousness of the police in LA in general with regards to moving violations. Adam frequently complains that police are using traffic tickets as fundraisers. After receiving a ticket for failing to display a front license plate, Adam went on a tirade against police officers, especially bike cops, for citing people for "chicken-s" ("chickenshit" abbreviated for radio use) infractions, especially given what he perceived to be law enforcement's reluctance or inability to deal with more serious concerns such as terrorism. He railed at any police listeners, "Remember when you joined the academy, you thought you were going to be rappelling down buildings, and growing a Fu Manchu and going deep under cover. Now you're writing chicken-s tickets. Don't be that guy." In addition red left-hand turn signals, esp. Culver City, are held in disdain.
Cranberry Sauce Adam has repeatedly mentioned, often around Thanksgiving time, that canned cranberry sauce is completely unacceptable, imploring listeners to avoid slaving over a hot stove all day preparing the bulk of the Thanksgiving meal only to turn around and "reach for the can opener like a dog" when it came to the cranberry sauce. On November 24, 2004 he gave his cranberry sauce recipe on air. The recipe is as follows: Empty one 12 ounce sack of cranberries into a pot. Add one cup of water and a half cup of sugar. (While many recipes call for an entire cup of sugar, Adam has stated his preference for a "tart" cranberry sauce as opposed to one that is overly sweet.) Additional sugar may be added according to taste. Boil for five to ten minutes.
Chef Boyardee Adam has mentioned several times that he absolutely hates all of the Chef Boyardee products, with a passion. He has said that if you are over the age of eight and you eat Chef Boyardee, then he will label you as someone that he can not speak to. According to Adam, you just have to be an idiot to eat Chef Boyardee.
The Nectar of the 'Tards Adam has mentioned several times that he considers Mountain Dew
Mountain Dew
Mountain Dew is a citrus-flavored carbonated soft drink brand produced and owned by PepsiCo. The original formula was invented in the 1940s by Tennessee beverage bottlers Barney and Ally Hartman and was first marketed in Marion, VA, Knoxville and Johnson City, Tennessee. A revised formula was...
to be "The Nectar of the 'Tards" and anyone who drinks it is probably destined for junior college. He has also, on several occasions, suggested adding a sterility agent to the drink, but in such a small amount that it would only affect those who drink it frequently. He has also, frequently, invoked similar sentiments in regard to SunnyD
SunnyD
Sunny Delight is a popular orange-flavored drink, manufactured until recently by Procter & Gamble. It produced an estimated $450 million in revenue for Procter & Gamble in 2004.-History:...
, and deplores people who prefer that beverage to orange juice.
Cyber Adam
Sometimes Adam would go quiet, or turn up late, in which case Engineer Anderson would play radio drops of Adam. This was referred to as "Cyber Adam" often with Drew saying "And Cyber Adam" is in the studio tonight! The Cyber Adam quotes are as follows:"That's why I make the Big Bucks!"
"That's why you make the Big Bucks!"
"Good times!"
"What ya gonna do?"
"It takes all kinds"
"He's a big boy!"
Smoke detectors
Adam and Drew have noticed that a surprisingly large number of callers have smoke detectors within their rooms. They can be detected based on the fact that smoke detectors emit frequent chirps to alert their users that they need new batteries; the callers, inevitably, are totally unaware of the chirps, despite the fact that they occur at an approximately 30 to 40 second interval.As Adam explains, the sound would be sufficient to drive an iguana or a houseplant insane; however, Loveline's callers, due to their unique unawareness of reality, have no idea what's being discussed when the hosts fixate on their background noise. Adam and Drew encourage the callers to locate the smoke detector, and hold the phone up to it, and occasionally one of the callers acknowledges that there is an electronic device on their ceiling that is chirping frequently. Invariably, however, they are totally unfazed by the frequent beeps, even when they admit that they have been hearing it for the last several months.
See also
- LovelineLovelineLoveline is a syndicated radio call-in program in North America, offering medical and relationship advice to listeners, often with the assistance of guests, typically actors and musicians. Its flagship station is KROQ-FM in Los Angeles....
- Adam CarollaAdam CarollaAdam Carolla is an American radio personality, television host, comedian, and actor. He currently hosts The Adam Carolla Show, a talk show distributed as a podcast on the ACE Broadcasting Network...
- StrykerStryker (disc jockey)Theodore "Ted" Ramón Stryker known on-air as simply "Stryker", is an American radio personality and disc jockey.-Biography:...
- Dr. Drew