Jared Has Aides
Encyclopedia
"Jared Has Aides" is the first episode of the sixth season
South Park (season 6)
Season six of South Park, an American animated television series created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone, began airing on March 6, 2002. The sixth season concluded after 17 episodes on December 11, 2002. This season is notable for being the only one without Kenny as a main character, as he was...

 of the American animated
Cartoon series
A cartoon series is a set of regularly presented animated television programs with a common series title, usually related to one another. These episodes typically share the same characters and a basic theme...

 television series South Park
South Park
South Park is an American animated television series created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone for the Comedy Central television network. Intended for mature audiences, the show has become famous for its crude language, surreal, satirical, and dark humor that lampoons a wide range of topics...

. It first aired on Comedy Central
Comedy Central
Comedy Central is an American cable television and satellite television channel that carries comedy programming, both original and syndicated....

 in the United States
United States
The United States of America is a federal constitutional republic comprising fifty states and a federal district...

 on March 6, 2002. In the episode, weight loss advocate Jared Fogle
Jared Fogle
Jared S. Fogle , also known as The Subway Guy, is a spokesman employed by Subway Restaurants in its advertising campaigns...

 incurs the wrath of South Park after he announces that he lost weight because he has aides (misinterpreted as AIDS
AIDS
Acquired immune deficiency syndrome or acquired immunodeficiency syndrome is a disease of the human immune system caused by the human immunodeficiency virus...

). This leads the boys to try to use Butters
Butters Stotch
Leopold "Butters" Stotch is a fictional character in the animated television series South Park. He is voiced by series co-creator Matt Stone and loosely based on co-producer Eric Stough. He is a fourth-grade student who commonly has extraordinary experiences not typical of conventional small-town...

 as their own advocate for City Wok
City Wok
City Wok is a chain of Asian-themed casual restaurants in California, United States and in Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic.Restaurants are located in Studio City, Coachella, Palm Desert, Thousand Oaks, Orange, San Diego and Santo Domingo...

.

The episode was written by series co-creator Trey Parker
Trey Parker
Trey Parker is an American animator, screenwriter, director, producer, voice artist, musician and actor, best known for being the co-creator of the television series South Park along with his creative partner and best friend Matt Stone.Parker started his film career in 1992, making a holiday short...

. The episode pokes fun at America's obsession with easy weight loss
Weight loss
Weight loss, in the context of medicine, health or physical fitness, is a reduction of the total body mass, due to a mean loss of fluid, body fat or adipose tissue and/or lean mass, namely bone mineral deposits, muscle, tendon and other connective tissue...

 and the idea that a person can lose weight through a diet consisting entirely of fast food
Fast food
Fast food is the term given to food that can be prepared and served very quickly. While any meal with low preparation time can be considered to be fast food, typically the term refers to food sold in a restaurant or store with preheated or precooked ingredients, and served to the customer in a...

.

Plot

Jared Fogle
Jared Fogle
Jared S. Fogle , also known as The Subway Guy, is a spokesman employed by Subway Restaurants in its advertising campaigns...

, a longtime spokesman for the fast food
Fast food
Fast food is the term given to food that can be prepared and served very quickly. While any meal with low preparation time can be considered to be fast food, typically the term refers to food sold in a restaurant or store with preheated or precooked ingredients, and served to the customer in a...

 restaurant Subway
Subway (restaurant)
Subway is an American restaurant franchise that primarily sells submarine sandwiches and salads. It is owned and operated by Doctor's Associates, Inc. . Subway is one of the fastest growing franchises in the world with 35,519 restaurants in 98 countries and territories as of October 25th, 2011...

, has risen to fame by losing 180 pounds. He claims that he did so through a diet consisting of Subway submarine sandwiches. After Jared gives a speech in South Park saying that he will always be the town's faithful leader in easy weight loss, Cartman
Eric Cartman
Eric Theodore Cartman is a fictional character in the American animated television series South Park. One of four main characters, along with Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, and Kenny McCormick, he is generally referred to within the series by his last name...

, Stan
Stan Marsh
Stanley Randall "Stan" Marsh is a fictional character in the animated television series South Park. He is voiced by and loosely based on series co-creator Trey Parker. Stan is one of the show's four central characters, along with his friends Kyle Broflovski, Kenny McCormick, and Eric Cartman...

, Kyle
Kyle Broflovski
Kyle Broflovski is a fictional character in the animated television series South Park. He is voiced by co-creator Matt Stone. Kyle is one of the show's four central characters, along with his friends Stan Marsh, Kenny McCormick, and Eric Cartman...

 and Butters
Butters Stotch
Leopold "Butters" Stotch is a fictional character in the animated television series South Park. He is voiced by series co-creator Matt Stone and loosely based on co-producer Eric Stough. He is a fourth-grade student who commonly has extraordinary experiences not typical of conventional small-town...

 go to talk to him and Jared admits to the boys that he had some help losing weight aside from his Subway diet: a personal trainer
Personal trainer
A personal trainer is a fitness professional involved in exercise prescription and instruction. They motivate clients by setting goals and providing feedback and accountability to clients. Trainers also measure their client's strengths and weaknesses with fitness assessments...

 and a dietitian
Dietitian
Dietitians supervise the preparation and service of food, develop modified diets, participate in research, and educate individuals and groups on good nutritional habits. The goals of dietitians are to provide medical nutritional intervention, and to obtain, safely prepare, serve and advise on...

, to whom he refers to as his "aides". Massive confusion arises as people assume that Jared is saying he lost weight because of his AIDS
AIDS
Acquired immune deficiency syndrome or acquired immunodeficiency syndrome is a disease of the human immune system caused by the human immunodeficiency virus...

, and Jared is confused as to why people suddenly hate him.

After speaking to Jared, Cartman hatches a plot for the four boys to sell their own "Jared" to City Wok
City Wok
City Wok is a chain of Asian-themed casual restaurants in California, United States and in Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic.Restaurants are located in Studio City, Coachella, Palm Desert, Thousand Oaks, Orange, San Diego and Santo Domingo...

, South Park's sole Chinese restaurant: Butters will eat City Wok food in order to gain unhealthy amounts of weight, then lose it, then agree to do a commercial for City Wok in which he credits their food with his weight loss. Butters gains weight, but he is unable to lose it, so Cartman, Stan and Kyle decide to perform liposuction
Liposuction
Liposuction, also known as lipoplasty , liposculpture suction lipectomy or simply lipo is a cosmetic surgery operation that removes fat from many different sites on the human body...

 on him to get the fat out of his body so that he can be in the commercial. However, Stephen and Linda, Butters' parents, come home as soon as the boys finish and they quickly exit Butters' house, leaving Butters lying in pain. When Stephen and Linda come inside, the think Butters has self-performed the liposuction and they ground him.

When Jared announces to the South Park townspeople that he plans to set up the "Aides for Everyone Foundation" and will not stop until "every child in the world has aides", everyone in South Park, again believing that he means AIDS, is furious and they all start chasing him with pitchfork
Pitchfork
A pitchfork is an agricultural tool with a long handle and long, thin, widely separated pointed tines used to lift and pitch loose material, such as hay, leaves, grapes, dung or other agricultural materials. Pitchforks typically have two or three tines...

s and torch
Torch
A torch is a fire source, usually a rod-shaped piece of wood with a rag soaked in pitch and/or some other flammable material wrapped around one end. Torches were often supported in sconces by brackets high up on walls, to throw light over corridors in stone structures such as castles or crypts...

es. Meanwhile, Cartman, Stan and Kyle go to Butters' house and ask him to come to City Wok so they can make their money, but Butters tells them he has been grounded both for getting fat and self-performing the liposuction surgery, even though neither of those things were his fault. Butters then tells the boys that his parents call every hour to make sure he is at home, so Cartman decides to stay and answer the phone so that the other three can go to City Wok, shoot the commercial and get the money. Cartman is able to do a pretty good impression of Butters, so Kyle and Stan take Butters with them to City Wok. Stephen and Linda both call their house and both times when Cartman answers, they believe it really is Butters, but Cartman insults them both and they are furious.

The townspeople capture Jared and decide to hang
Hanging
Hanging is the lethal suspension of a person by a ligature. The Oxford English Dictionary states that hanging in this sense is "specifically to put to death by suspension by the neck", though it formerly also referred to crucifixion and death by impalement in which the body would remain...

 him for wanting to give everyone AIDS. When Stan, Kyle and Butters get to City Wok, Tuong Lu Kim, the owner of the restaurant, tells them that he does not want "a Jared" any more because, like the rest of the town, he thinks Jared wants to give the whole world AIDS. He also tells them that Jared is about to be killed and, knowing that this is not true, Stan, Kyle and Butters rush downtown to save Jared. They show up just in time and explain to everyone that, when Jared said he wanted to give children "aides", he meant give them personal assistants to help them lose weight, not AIDS. Jared suddenly realizes why everyone hated him and the crowd also realize their mistake and apologize to Jared. They also begin to laugh about it and Randy explains that they are laughing because they find AIDS funny, and that it is OK because "it's been 22.3 years, so AIDS is finally funny." The townspeople uncover a golden plaque which says "AIDS IS FINALLY FUNNY" and then Lu Kim shows up and gives the boys 15 dollars, which Stan is shocked at as Jared got millions of dollars, but Lu Kim explains that City Wok is not as big as Subway, so he does not have as much money as Subway does. Meanwhile, back at Butters' house, Cartman is relaxing and quickly leaves as soon as Butters arrives, then he gets a beach chair, a soda
Soft drink
A soft drink is a non-alcoholic beverage that typically contains water , a sweetener, and a flavoring agent...

 and some popcorn
Popcorn
Popcorn, or popping corn, is corn which expands from the kernel and puffs up when heated. Corn is able to pop because, like sorghum, quinoa and millet, its kernels have a hard moisture-sealed hull and a dense starchy interior. This allows pressure to build inside the kernel until an explosive...

 and sits in of Butters' driveway
Driveway
A driveway is a type of private road for local access to one or a small group of structures, and is owned and maintained by an individual or group....

. At that moment, Stephen and Linda, furious, come home and go inside. They shout at Butters and beat him because they think it was him, not Cartman, who insulted them on the phone. Cartman is enjoying hearing this and exclaims, "Aw man, if I was older, I would totally start jacking off
Masturbation
Masturbation refers to sexual stimulation of a person's own genitals, usually to the point of orgasm. The stimulation can be performed manually, by use of objects or tools, or by some combination of these methods. Masturbation is a common form of autoeroticism...

right now."

External links


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