Christian Rock Hard
Encyclopedia
"Christian Rock Hard" is the ninth episode of the seventh season
of the American animated series South Park
. It originally aired on Comedy Central
in the United States on October 23, 2003. In the episode, the kids start a rock band, but concerned with the fact that people will potentially download their music from the Internet illegally, they refuse to play. Meanwhile, Cartman
starts his own Christian rock
band. The episode satirizes famous artists who have spoken out against copyright infringement
, such as Metallica
. Christian rock music is also parodied as being identical to love song
s, except for referencing Jesus
in their lyrics.
, Kyle
, Kenny
and Cartman
have formed a band called Moop, but disagree on what direction they should take. The disagreement becomes so heated that Cartman bets that he will have a platinum-selling album before Kyle's band does and leaves the band. Seeking inspiration, the remaining members of Moop illegally download some music from the Internet
and are busted by the FBI. Moop are told of the serious consequences of illegal downloading, namely forcing musician
s like Lars Ulrich
(drummer
of metal
band Metallica
) and Britney Spears
to lose so much income from music piracy that they must either downgrade their extremely lavish purchases to less lavish ones or save up until they can afford what they want. As a result, Moop decides to go on strike until fans stop downloading illegally and are joined by a large number of pop and rock musicians, including Britney Spears
, Ozzy Osbourne
, Missy Elliott
, Master P
, Blink-182
, Metallica
, Alanis Morissette
, Meat Loaf
, Rancid
and Skyler's band (Lords of the Underworld) from the season three episode "Cat Orgy
" and the season four episode "Timmy 2000
".
Meanwhile, Cartman enlists Butters
and Token to form his new band. Realizing that Christian rock
is a perennial top seller, Cartman decides that his band, which he has christened Faith + 1, will join the Christian music racket. Cartman builds the band's repertoire by simply taking pop love ballads and changing references like "baby" to "Jesus". While effective, the band eventually comes under some scrutiny when one of the songs involves more passionate lyrics. Cartman manages to manipulate his way out and the band begins to build a huge following.
Before long, Faith + 1 celebrates the sale of its millionth album. By this time, Stan, Kyle and Kenny decide that the satisfaction of having fans should be more important to musicians than fighting against the fans who make them popular and go to see their concerts. They decide that touring still brings in revenue and call off their strike. However, the other musicians do not follow suit, because, according to Britney Spears, "[they are] just about the money."
Cartman has spent all the money made from their album on a lavish, extravagant awards ceremony to celebrate Faith + 1's success and specifically to insult Kyle for losing the bet to Cartman. However, Cartman's jubilation is short-lived. As it turns out, Christian record companies only hand out gold
, frankincense
and myrrh
records (in real life Christian albums can get gold/platinum certification just like any other music genre), so Faith + 1, as Christian artists, will never have a platinum album, meaning that Kyle technically did not lose the bet. Cartman, enraged at this turn of events, destroys the band's myrrh album and unleashes a stream of blasphemous obscenities that causes the horrified fans to flee.
When Token confronts Cartman for driving away their fans and jeopardizing the band, Cartman continues to rant and insults him with crude racist remarks. In response, Token beats up Cartman on the stage before walking away. Feeling that Cartman got what he deserved, Stan, Kenny and Kyle take their leave as well. As Cartman lies on the stage in pain, Butters approaches him meekly. In a surprising show of audacity, Butters farts in Cartman's face and mutters "Fuck you, Eric", before walking away himself.
South Park (season 7)
Season seven of South Park, an American animated television series created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone, began airing on March 19, 2003. The seventh season concluded after 15 episodes on December 17, 2003.- Episodes :-External links:...
of the American animated series South Park
South Park
South Park is an American animated television series created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone for the Comedy Central television network. Intended for mature audiences, the show has become famous for its crude language, surreal, satirical, and dark humor that lampoons a wide range of topics...
. It originally aired on Comedy Central
Comedy Central
Comedy Central is an American cable television and satellite television channel that carries comedy programming, both original and syndicated....
in the United States on October 23, 2003. In the episode, the kids start a rock band, but concerned with the fact that people will potentially download their music from the Internet illegally, they refuse to play. Meanwhile, Cartman
Eric Cartman
Eric Theodore Cartman is a fictional character in the American animated television series South Park. One of four main characters, along with Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, and Kenny McCormick, he is generally referred to within the series by his last name...
starts his own Christian rock
Christian rock
Christian rock is a form of rock music played by individuals and bands whose members are Christians and who often focus the lyrics on matters concerned with the Christian faith. The extent to which their lyrics are explicitly Christian varies between bands...
band. The episode satirizes famous artists who have spoken out against copyright infringement
Copyright infringement
Copyright infringement is the unauthorized or prohibited use of works under copyright, infringing the copyright holder's exclusive rights, such as the right to reproduce or perform the copyrighted work, or to make derivative works.- "Piracy" :...
, such as Metallica
Metallica
Metallica is an American heavy metal band from Los Angeles, California. Formed in 1981 when James Hetfield responded to an advertisement that drummer Lars Ulrich had posted in a local newspaper. The current line-up features long-time lead guitarist Kirk Hammett and bassist Robert Trujillo ...
. Christian rock music is also parodied as being identical to love song
Love song
A love song is about falling in love and the feelings it brings. Anthologies of love songs often contain a mixture of both of these types of song. A bawdy song is both humorous and saucy, emphasizing the physical pleasure of love rather than the emotional joy...
s, except for referencing Jesus
Jesus
Jesus of Nazareth , commonly referred to as Jesus Christ or simply as Jesus or Christ, is the central figure of Christianity...
in their lyrics.
Plot
StanStan Marsh
Stanley Randall "Stan" Marsh is a fictional character in the animated television series South Park. He is voiced by and loosely based on series co-creator Trey Parker. Stan is one of the show's four central characters, along with his friends Kyle Broflovski, Kenny McCormick, and Eric Cartman...
, Kyle
Kyle Broflovski
Kyle Broflovski is a fictional character in the animated television series South Park. He is voiced by co-creator Matt Stone. Kyle is one of the show's four central characters, along with his friends Stan Marsh, Kenny McCormick, and Eric Cartman...
, Kenny
Kenny McCormick
Kenneth "Kenny" McCormick is a fictional character in the animated television series South Park. He is one of the four central characters along with his friends Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, and Eric Cartman. His oft-muffled and indiscernible speech—the result of his parka hood covering his...
and Cartman
Eric Cartman
Eric Theodore Cartman is a fictional character in the American animated television series South Park. One of four main characters, along with Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, and Kenny McCormick, he is generally referred to within the series by his last name...
have formed a band called Moop, but disagree on what direction they should take. The disagreement becomes so heated that Cartman bets that he will have a platinum-selling album before Kyle's band does and leaves the band. Seeking inspiration, the remaining members of Moop illegally download some music from the Internet
Internet
The Internet is a global system of interconnected computer networks that use the standard Internet protocol suite to serve billions of users worldwide...
and are busted by the FBI. Moop are told of the serious consequences of illegal downloading, namely forcing musician
Musician
A musician is an artist who plays a musical instrument. It may or may not be the person's profession. Musicians can be classified by their roles in performing music and writing music.Also....* A person who makes music a profession....
s like Lars Ulrich
Lars Ulrich
Lars Ulrich is a Danish drummer, and one of the founding members of the American thrash metal band Metallica. He was born in Gentofte, Denmark to an upper-middle class family. A tennis player in his youth, Ulrich moved to Los Angeles, California at age sixteen to pursue his training; though rather...
(drummer
Drummer
A drummer is a musician who is capable of playing drums, which includes but is not limited to a drum kit and accessory based hardware which includes an assortment of pedals and standing support mechanisms, marching percussion and/or any musical instrument that is struck within the context of a...
of metal
Heavy metal music
Heavy metal is a genre of rock music that developed in the late 1960s and early 1970s, largely in the Midlands of the United Kingdom and the United States...
band Metallica
Metallica
Metallica is an American heavy metal band from Los Angeles, California. Formed in 1981 when James Hetfield responded to an advertisement that drummer Lars Ulrich had posted in a local newspaper. The current line-up features long-time lead guitarist Kirk Hammett and bassist Robert Trujillo ...
) and Britney Spears
Britney Spears
Britney Jean Spears is an American recording artist and entertainer. Born in McComb, Mississippi, and raised in Kentwood, Louisiana, Spears began performing as a child, landing acting roles in stage productions and television shows. She signed with Jive Records in 1997 and released her debut album...
to lose so much income from music piracy that they must either downgrade their extremely lavish purchases to less lavish ones or save up until they can afford what they want. As a result, Moop decides to go on strike until fans stop downloading illegally and are joined by a large number of pop and rock musicians, including Britney Spears
Britney Spears
Britney Jean Spears is an American recording artist and entertainer. Born in McComb, Mississippi, and raised in Kentwood, Louisiana, Spears began performing as a child, landing acting roles in stage productions and television shows. She signed with Jive Records in 1997 and released her debut album...
, Ozzy Osbourne
Ozzy Osbourne
John Michael "Ozzy" Osbourne is an English vocalist, whose musical career has spanned over 40 years. Osbourne rose to prominence as lead singer of the pioneering English heavy metal band Black Sabbath, whose radically different, intentionally dark, harder sound helped spawn the heavy metal...
, Missy Elliott
Missy Elliott
Melissa Arnette "Missy" Elliott , is an American rapper, singer-songwriter, record producer, and actressA five-time Grammy Award winner, Elliott, with record sales of over seven million in the United States, is the only female rapper to have five albums certified platinum by the RIAA, including one...
, Master P
Master P
Percy Robert Miller , better known by his stage name Master P or his business name P. Miller, is an American rapper, actor, entrepreneur, investor, and producer. He is the founder of the popular label No Limit Records, which went bankrupt and was relaunched as New No Limit Records through Koch...
, Blink-182
Blink-182
Blink-182 is an American rock band consisting of vocalist and bass guitarist Mark Hoppus, vocalist and guitarist Tom DeLonge, and drummer Travis Barker. They have sold over 27 million albums worldwide since forming in Poway, California in 1992...
, Metallica
Metallica
Metallica is an American heavy metal band from Los Angeles, California. Formed in 1981 when James Hetfield responded to an advertisement that drummer Lars Ulrich had posted in a local newspaper. The current line-up features long-time lead guitarist Kirk Hammett and bassist Robert Trujillo ...
, Alanis Morissette
Alanis Morissette
Alanis Nadine Morissette is a Canadian-American singer-songwriter, guitarist, record producer, and actress. She has won 16 Juno Awards and seven Grammy Awards, was nominated for two Golden Globe Awards and also shortlisted for an Academy Award nomination...
, Meat Loaf
Meat Loaf
Michael Lee Aday , better known by his stage name, Meat Loaf, is an American hard rock musician and actor...
, Rancid
Rancid (band)
Rancid is an American punk rock band formed in Berkeley, California in 1991. Founded by Tim Armstrong and Matt Freeman, both of whom previously played in the ska punk band Operation Ivy, Rancid is credited—along with Green Day and The Offspring—for reviving mainstream interest in punk rock in the...
and Skyler's band (Lords of the Underworld) from the season three episode "Cat Orgy
Cat Orgy
"Cat Orgy" is the 38th episode of Comedy Central's animated series South Park.It originally aired on July 14, 1999. It is the first episode of a three-part story arc, often known as The Meteor Shower Trilogy, which tells three different stories all taking place on the same night. The other two...
" and the season four episode "Timmy 2000
Timmy 2000
"Timmy!" is the 51st episode of the Comedy Central animated series South Park. It originally aired on April 19, 2000. It was voted #6 of the "10 South Park episodes that changed the world"...
".
Meanwhile, Cartman enlists Butters
Butters Stotch
Leopold "Butters" Stotch is a fictional character in the animated television series South Park. He is voiced by series co-creator Matt Stone and loosely based on co-producer Eric Stough. He is a fourth-grade student who commonly has extraordinary experiences not typical of conventional small-town...
and Token to form his new band. Realizing that Christian rock
Christian rock
Christian rock is a form of rock music played by individuals and bands whose members are Christians and who often focus the lyrics on matters concerned with the Christian faith. The extent to which their lyrics are explicitly Christian varies between bands...
is a perennial top seller, Cartman decides that his band, which he has christened Faith + 1, will join the Christian music racket. Cartman builds the band's repertoire by simply taking pop love ballads and changing references like "baby" to "Jesus". While effective, the band eventually comes under some scrutiny when one of the songs involves more passionate lyrics. Cartman manages to manipulate his way out and the band begins to build a huge following.
Before long, Faith + 1 celebrates the sale of its millionth album. By this time, Stan, Kyle and Kenny decide that the satisfaction of having fans should be more important to musicians than fighting against the fans who make them popular and go to see their concerts. They decide that touring still brings in revenue and call off their strike. However, the other musicians do not follow suit, because, according to Britney Spears, "[they are] just about the money."
Cartman has spent all the money made from their album on a lavish, extravagant awards ceremony to celebrate Faith + 1's success and specifically to insult Kyle for losing the bet to Cartman. However, Cartman's jubilation is short-lived. As it turns out, Christian record companies only hand out gold
Gold
Gold is a chemical element with the symbol Au and an atomic number of 79. Gold is a dense, soft, shiny, malleable and ductile metal. Pure gold has a bright yellow color and luster traditionally considered attractive, which it maintains without oxidizing in air or water. Chemically, gold is a...
, frankincense
Frankincense
Frankincense, also called olibanum , is an aromatic resin obtained from trees of the genus Boswellia, particularly Boswellia sacra, B. carteri, B. thurifera, B. frereana, and B. bhaw-dajiana...
and myrrh
Myrrh
Myrrh is the aromatic oleoresin of a number of small, thorny tree species of the genus Commiphora, which grow in dry, stony soil. An oleoresin is a natural blend of an essential oil and a resin. Myrrh resin is a natural gum....
records (in real life Christian albums can get gold/platinum certification just like any other music genre), so Faith + 1, as Christian artists, will never have a platinum album, meaning that Kyle technically did not lose the bet. Cartman, enraged at this turn of events, destroys the band's myrrh album and unleashes a stream of blasphemous obscenities that causes the horrified fans to flee.
When Token confronts Cartman for driving away their fans and jeopardizing the band, Cartman continues to rant and insults him with crude racist remarks. In response, Token beats up Cartman on the stage before walking away. Feeling that Cartman got what he deserved, Stan, Kenny and Kyle take their leave as well. As Cartman lies on the stage in pain, Butters approaches him meekly. In a surprising show of audacity, Butters farts in Cartman's face and mutters "Fuck you, Eric", before walking away himself.
External links
- Christian Rock Hard Full episode at South Park Studios
- Christian Rock Hard Episode guide at South Park Studios