Directed by Ben Stiller. Written by Drake Sather, Ben Stiller and John Hamburg.

Derek Zoolander

• Do you understand that the world does not revolve around you and your "do whatever it takes, ruin as many people's lives, so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied along the way, just so long so you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied and dying along the way"?

• At the Derek Zoolander Center For Children Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too, we teach you that there's more to life than being really, really ridiculously good-looking.

• Words can only hurt you if you try to read them. Don't play their game.

Mugatu

• Let me show you Derelicte. It is a fashion, a way of life inspired by the very homeless, the vagrants, the crack whores that make this wonderful city so unique.

Hansel

• I wasn't like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere's a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that. I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I'm selling? No. Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot.

Others

• Announcer: Oh, you hate to see something like that at an event like this: ugly protesters bothering beautiful people.

Dialogue

Matilda: I became...

Hansel: What?

Matilda: Bulimic.

Zoolander: You can read minds?

• Ben Stiller - Derek Zoolander
• Owen Wilson - Hansel
• Christine Taylor - Matilda Jeffries
• Will Ferrell - Mugatu
• Milla Jovovich - Katinka
• Jerry Stiller - Maury Ballstein
• David Duchovny - J.P. Prewitt
• Jon Voight - Larry Zoolander
• Judah Friedlander - Scrappy Zoolander
• Nathan Lee Graham - Todd
• Alexandre Manning - Brint
• Asio Highsmith - Rufus
• Alexander Skarsgård - Meekus
• Andy Dick - Olga the Masseuse
• Nora Dunn - British Designer
• Jennifer Coolidge - American Designer
• Vince Vaughn - Luke Zoolander
• Andrew Wilson - Buzzy Sullivan, Surfer Extraordinaire
• Billy Zane - Himself
• Donald Trump - Himself
• Christian Slater - Himself
• Tom Ford - Himself
• Cuba Gooding, Jr. - Himself
• Steve Kmetko - Himself
• Tommy Hilfiger - Himself
• Natalie Portman - Herself
• Fabio - Himself
• Lenny Kravitz - Himself
• Gwen Stefani - Herself
• Gavin Rossdale - Himself
• Heidi Klum - Herself
• Paris Hilton - Herself
• David Bowie - Himself
• Tyson Beckford - Himself
• Fred Durst - Himself
• Lance Bass - Himself
• Lil' Kim - Herself
• Garry Shandling - Himself
• Claudia Schiffer - Herself
• Veronica Webb - Herself
• Lukas Haas - Himself
• Carmen Kass - Herself
• Victoria Beckham - Herself
• Sandra Bernhard - Herself
• Emma Bunton - Herself
• Stephen Dorff - Himself
• Gavin Rossdale - Himself
• Winona Ryder - Herself
• Shavo Odadjian - Himself