Witless
Encyclopedia
"Witless" is the third episode of the television series Sledge Hammer!
. It originally aired on ABC
in the United States on October 3, 1986. The episode is a parody of the 1985 film Witness
.
) issues a $1 million bounty on Hammer, who has been disrupting his business. This has every killer in the city on edge.
While taking a shower, Hammer is unaware that a hitman has broken into his apartment. The assailant hides in the closet, not knowing that the door has a sheet of target paper taped on it. Before leaving for work, Hammer pulls his gun and does a few practice shots, not knowing that he kills the hitman in the process. He buys a newspaper, which blocks a knife thrown by another assailant. Hammer continues to cheat death by accidentally spilling a cup of poisoned coffee at a diner and avoiding two shooters around him at a stop light.
When he arrives at the precinct, Doreau is surprised he is still alive. When Trunk summons them to his office, another assassin throws a stick of dynamite in the room. While Hammer and Trunk panic, Doreau puts out the stick by dipping it in Trunk's coffee. Trunk orders Hammer to leave town until the threat is over. He assigns an officer named Lenny (John Milford
) to escort Hammer to a motel outside the city premises. However, on the way to the motel, Lenny pulls a gun at Hammer, telling him the bounty is important to solve his family problems. As they both fight in the police car, Hammer and his overnight bag are ejected and he is knocked unconscious before Jacob (Lewis Arquette
) and Isadora (Ann Ryerson) - two members of a "Mennonote
" community - discover him and take him in.
Upon waking up, Hammer decides to lie low in the village, but is told by Jacob to do some chores such as milking the cows, building houses and tossing hay. During his stay, he feels attracted to Isadora. Later on, Hammer calls Doreau and gives her his location, not knowing that the conversation is tapped. Souza sends his accountant Saul Steinway (Basil Hoffman
) and a couple of goons to the village to finish off Hammer.
The hitmen arrive at the village and open fire, as Hammer realizes his gun has no bullets. He tells Jacob and Isadora to retrieve his overnight bag while he fends off the attackers. As the mobsters have a chance to whack Hammer, they are subdued by Jacob and Isadora, who have armed themselves with Hammer's weapons and sunglasses. After they take the hitmen prisoner, Hammer has himself delivered to Souza as a corpse. Once inside the mansion, he promptly disarms Souza and his men and arrests them.
As he delivered himself, he collects the $1 million bounty, which he gives to the Mennonotes. When asked what he will do with the money, Jacob tells Hammer he will rebuild the village and buy himself a Porsche
.
makes a Hitchcockian
cameo appearance during the precinct scene.
Sledge Hammer!
Sledge Hammer! is an American satirical police sitcom produced by New World Television that ran for two seasons on ABC from 1986 to 1988. The series was created by Alan Spencer and stars David Rasche as Inspector Sledge Hammer, a preposterous caricature of the standard "cop on the edge" character,...
. It originally aired on ABC
American Broadcasting Company
The American Broadcasting Company is an American commercial broadcasting television network. Created in 1943 from the former NBC Blue radio network, ABC is owned by The Walt Disney Company and is part of Disney-ABC Television Group. Its first broadcast on television was in 1948...
in the United States on October 3, 1986. The episode is a parody of the 1985 film Witness
Witness (1985 film)
Witness is a 1985 American thriller film directed by Peter Weir and starring Harrison Ford and Kelly McGillis. The screenplay by William Kelley, Pamela Wallace, and Earl W...
.
Plot summary
Mob boss Don Philip Souza (Al RuscioAl Ruscio
Al Ruscio is an American character actor who has appeared in numerous television series and film. He graduated from Salem High School .-Career:...
) issues a $1 million bounty on Hammer, who has been disrupting his business. This has every killer in the city on edge.
While taking a shower, Hammer is unaware that a hitman has broken into his apartment. The assailant hides in the closet, not knowing that the door has a sheet of target paper taped on it. Before leaving for work, Hammer pulls his gun and does a few practice shots, not knowing that he kills the hitman in the process. He buys a newspaper, which blocks a knife thrown by another assailant. Hammer continues to cheat death by accidentally spilling a cup of poisoned coffee at a diner and avoiding two shooters around him at a stop light.
When he arrives at the precinct, Doreau is surprised he is still alive. When Trunk summons them to his office, another assassin throws a stick of dynamite in the room. While Hammer and Trunk panic, Doreau puts out the stick by dipping it in Trunk's coffee. Trunk orders Hammer to leave town until the threat is over. He assigns an officer named Lenny (John Milford
John Milford
John Milford was an American actor in theatre, television, and films, playing scores of roles, often as a western villain....
) to escort Hammer to a motel outside the city premises. However, on the way to the motel, Lenny pulls a gun at Hammer, telling him the bounty is important to solve his family problems. As they both fight in the police car, Hammer and his overnight bag are ejected and he is knocked unconscious before Jacob (Lewis Arquette
Lewis Arquette
Lewis Michael Arquette was an American film actor, writer and producer. Arquette was known for playing "J.D. Pickett" on the TV series, The Waltons, where he worked from 1978–1981.-Life and career:...
) and Isadora (Ann Ryerson) - two members of a "Mennonote
Mennonite
The Mennonites are a group of Christian Anabaptist denominations named after the Frisian Menno Simons , who, through his writings, articulated and thereby formalized the teachings of earlier Swiss founders...
" community - discover him and take him in.
Upon waking up, Hammer decides to lie low in the village, but is told by Jacob to do some chores such as milking the cows, building houses and tossing hay. During his stay, he feels attracted to Isadora. Later on, Hammer calls Doreau and gives her his location, not knowing that the conversation is tapped. Souza sends his accountant Saul Steinway (Basil Hoffman
Basil Hoffman
Basil Hoffman is an American actor. He has had a film and TV career spanning five decades mostly in supporting roles. He has starred in films with many award-winning directors, including Alan Pakula and Robert Redford...
) and a couple of goons to the village to finish off Hammer.
The hitmen arrive at the village and open fire, as Hammer realizes his gun has no bullets. He tells Jacob and Isadora to retrieve his overnight bag while he fends off the attackers. As the mobsters have a chance to whack Hammer, they are subdued by Jacob and Isadora, who have armed themselves with Hammer's weapons and sunglasses. After they take the hitmen prisoner, Hammer has himself delivered to Souza as a corpse. Once inside the mansion, he promptly disarms Souza and his men and arrests them.
As he delivered himself, he collects the $1 million bounty, which he gives to the Mennonotes. When asked what he will do with the money, Jacob tells Hammer he will rebuild the village and buy himself a Porsche
Porsche
Porsche Automobil Holding SE, usually shortened to Porsche SE a Societas Europaea or European Public Company, is a German based holding company with investments in the automotive industry....
.
Production notes
Series creator Alan SpencerAlan Spencer
Alan Spencer is an American television writer and producer, known for creating the 1980s satirical police series Sledge Hammer!. He was one of the youngest people ever to join the Writers Guild of America, writing for television at the age of fifteen...
makes a Hitchcockian
Alfred Hitchcock
Sir Alfred Joseph Hitchcock, KBE was a British film director and producer. He pioneered many techniques in the suspense and psychological thriller genres. After a successful career in British cinema in both silent films and early talkies, Hitchcock moved to Hollywood...
cameo appearance during the precinct scene.