U-Haul lesbian
Encyclopedia
U-Haul lesbian or U-Haul syndrome is an LGBT slang term used to describe a stereotype
of lesbian
relationships. The term originated from the punch line
of a joke that lesbians tended to move in together on the second date. It suggests an extreme inclination toward monogamy
or committed relationship
s. It is considered both complimentary and pejorative.
(a brand of rental "move it yourself" trucks and trailers) became well-known in North America
n lesbian culture.
Often attributed to comic Lea DeLaria
, the joke suggests that lesbians move in together after only a short period of time. The reference to a "U-Haul" later became a stereotype of sexual identity in the gay community. The joke is considered a staple of lesbian humor, but also is popular outside the LGBT community. It is sometimes followed or preceded by a standard joke about gay men:
. With the freedom of adulthood, lesbians become drawn to the "U-Haul" relationships, appreciating their intensity and intimacy.
Despite the U-haul concept's positive suggestion that lesbians do not have difficulties committing to relationships, some psychologists also believe that this behavior can be unhealthy. They argue that the short dating span bypasses serious discussion on many relationship issues prior to moving in (such as sexual compatibility or future expectations) and this can manifest itself in various problems later on.
on literally the second date, when for the majority of relationships, that step normally happens several months or years after meeting, if ever.
Stereotype
A stereotype is a popular belief about specific social groups or types of individuals. The concepts of "stereotype" and "prejudice" are often confused with many other different meanings...
of lesbian
Lesbian
Lesbian is a term most widely used in the English language to describe sexual and romantic desire between females. The word may be used as a noun, to refer to women who identify themselves or who are characterized by others as having the primary attribute of female homosexuality, or as an...
relationships. The term originated from the punch line
Punch line
A punch line is the final part of a joke, comedy sketch, or profound statement, usually the word, sentence or exchange of sentences which is intended to be funny or to provoke laughter or thought from listeners...
of a joke that lesbians tended to move in together on the second date. It suggests an extreme inclination toward monogamy
Monogamy
Monogamy /Gr. μονός+γάμος - one+marriage/ a form of marriage in which an individual has only one spouse at any one time. In current usage monogamy often refers to having one sexual partner irrespective of marriage or reproduction...
or committed relationship
Committed relationship
A committed relationship is an interpersonal relationship based upon a mutually agreed-upon commitment to one another involving exclusivity, honesty, openness, or some other agreed-upon behavior. Forms of committed relationships are: close friendship, courtship, long-term relationships ,...
s. It is considered both complimentary and pejorative.
Origin
A joke which references U-HaulU-Haul
U-Haul International, Inc. is an American equipment rental company, based in Phoenix, Arizona, that has been in operation since 1945. The company was founded by Leonard Shoen U-Haul International, Inc. is an American equipment rental company, based in Phoenix, Arizona, that has been in operation...
(a brand of rental "move it yourself" trucks and trailers) became well-known in North America
North America
North America is a continent wholly within the Northern Hemisphere and almost wholly within the Western Hemisphere. It is also considered a northern subcontinent of the Americas...
n lesbian culture.
Question: What does a lesbian bring on a second date?
Answer: A U-Haul.
Often attributed to comic Lea DeLaria
Lea DeLaria
Lea DeLaria is an American comedienne, actress, and jazz musician. The "famously controversial" DeLaria was "the first openly gay comic to break the late-night talk-show barrier" with her 1993 appearance on The Arsenio Hall Show....
, the joke suggests that lesbians move in together after only a short period of time. The reference to a "U-Haul" later became a stereotype of sexual identity in the gay community. The joke is considered a staple of lesbian humor, but also is popular outside the LGBT community. It is sometimes followed or preceded by a standard joke about gay men:
Question: What does a gay man bring on a second date?
Answer: What second date?
"U-Haul" lesbians and relationships
Psychologists note that the U-Haul joke epitomizes the perceived phenomenon of lesbians to form intense emotional connections, referred to in gay slang as an urge to merge. Critics of this alleged tendency suggest that it is used by lesbians to avoid the risks involved with dating. In their view, an aversion to the risks of dating is linked to a stunted development of intimate relationships during the teenage years when most gays and lesbians are in the closetIn the closet
In the closet may refer to:* Closeted, a reference to undisclosed sexual orientation, sexuality, or sexual behavior.** Coming out, or "coming out of the closet", the voluntary public revealing of one's homosexuality....
. With the freedom of adulthood, lesbians become drawn to the "U-Haul" relationships, appreciating their intensity and intimacy.
Despite the U-haul concept's positive suggestion that lesbians do not have difficulties committing to relationships, some psychologists also believe that this behavior can be unhealthy. They argue that the short dating span bypasses serious discussion on many relationship issues prior to moving in (such as sexual compatibility or future expectations) and this can manifest itself in various problems later on.
Criticisms
A common criticism of the "U-Haul" joke is the negative impression that it gives of lesbians' couplingIntimate relationship
An intimate relationship is a particularly close interpersonal relationship that involves physical or emotional intimacy. Physical intimacy is characterized by romantic or passionate love and attachment, or sexual activity. The term is also sometimes used euphemistically for a sexual...
on literally the second date, when for the majority of relationships, that step normally happens several months or years after meeting, if ever.
See also
- CohabitationCohabitationCohabitation usually refers to an arrangement whereby two people decide to live together on a long-term or permanent basis in an emotionally and/or sexually intimate relationship. The term is most frequently applied to couples who are not married...
- Commitment bands
- Domestic partnershipDomestic partnershipA domestic partnership is a legal or personal relationship between two individuals who live together and share a common domestic life but are neither joined by marriage nor a civil union...
- Gay bars
- Gay communityGay communityThe gay community, or LGBT community, is a loosely defined grouping of LGBT and LGBT-supportive people, organizations and subcultures, united by a common culture and civil rights movements. These communities generally celebrate pride, diversity, individuality, and sexuality...
- Gay slangGay slangLGBT slang, LGBT speak or gay slang is a set of slang used predominantly among lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people. It has been used in various languages, including English and Japanese since the early 1900s as a means by members of the LGBT community as a group to self-advertise as a...
- LesbianLesbianLesbian is a term most widely used in the English language to describe sexual and romantic desire between females. The word may be used as a noun, to refer to women who identify themselves or who are characterized by others as having the primary attribute of female homosexuality, or as an...
- Lesbian bed deathLesbian bed deathLesbian bed death is a term coined by University of Washington sociologist Pepper Schwartz in her 1983 book American Couples. According to Schwartz, lesbian couples in committed relationships have less sex than any other type of couple, and they generally experience less sexual intimacy the longer...
- Queer studiesQueer studiesQueer studies is the critical theory based study of issues relating to sexual orientation and gender identity usually focusing on lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex people and cultures. Universities have also labeled this area of analysis Sexual Diversity Studies, Sexualities...
- Same-sex marriageSame-sex marriageSame-sex marriage is marriage between two persons of the same biological sex or social gender. Supporters of legal recognition for same-sex marriage typically refer to such recognition as marriage equality....