The Framley Examiner
Encyclopedia
The Framley Examiner is a parody
of a newspaper in a small provincial English
town.
Very little happens in Framley, so the highlights in the newspaper are the absurdist classified ads (for items such as second-hand Dachshund
stabilizers, a child's Paul Simon
costume, a set of windmill Top Trumps
, £45 in used fivers, a 'Diana Convoy' Scalextric
set, a Black & Decker
fire drill and a set of nested bunk beds that sleep eighteen progressively smaller people), firmly in the absurdist British comic tradition of The Goon Show
and Monty Python
. It has been noted that Framley and its surrounding villages are actually based upon the town of Chelmsford
, Essex
and surrounding settlements such as Writtle
.
Its success then spawned a book The Framley Examiner (ISBN 0-7181-4579-8) described on the cover as "the book of the website of the newspaper".
A second book, Historic Framley (ISBN 0-14-101528-4), was later published, produced in association with Framley Museum.
The writers are Robin Halstead, Jason Hazeley, Alex Morris and Joel Morris. The four are regular contributors to Viz magazine. The book Bollocks to Alton Towers
(ISBN 0-7181-4791-X), published in April 2005, by the same authors, is a non-fiction book unrelated to The Framley Examiner.
The website was last updated on 14 January 2010.
Parody
A parody , in current usage, is an imitative work created to mock, comment on, or trivialise an original work, its subject, author, style, or some other target, by means of humorous, satiric or ironic imitation...
of a newspaper in a small provincial English
English language
English is a West Germanic language that arose in the Anglo-Saxon kingdoms of England and spread into what was to become south-east Scotland under the influence of the Anglian medieval kingdom of Northumbria...
town.
Very little happens in Framley, so the highlights in the newspaper are the absurdist classified ads (for items such as second-hand Dachshund
Dachshund
The dachshund is a short-legged, long-bodied dog breed belonging to the hound family. The standard size dachshund was bred to scent, chase, and flush out badgers and other burrow-dwelling animals, while the miniature dachshund was developed to hunt smaller prey such as rabbits...
stabilizers, a child's Paul Simon
Paul Simon
Paul Frederic Simon is an American singer-songwriter and guitarist.Simon is best known for his success, beginning in 1965, as part of the duo Simon & Garfunkel, with musical partner Art Garfunkel. Simon wrote most of the pair's songs, including three that reached number one on the US singles...
costume, a set of windmill Top Trumps
Top Trumps
Top Trumps is a card game. Each card contains a list of numerical data, and the aim of the game is to compare these values in order to try to trump and win an opponent's card...
, £45 in used fivers, a 'Diana Convoy' Scalextric
Scalextric
Scalextric is a toy brand for a range of slot car racing sets which first appeared in the late 1950s, as a creation of British firm Minimodels. The brand is currently owned and distributed by Hornby.-History:...
set, a Black & Decker
Black & Decker
Black & Decker Corporation is a corporation based in Towson, Maryland, United States, that designs and imports power tools and accessories, hardware and home improvement products, and technology based fastening systems...
fire drill and a set of nested bunk beds that sleep eighteen progressively smaller people), firmly in the absurdist British comic tradition of The Goon Show
The Goon Show
The Goon Show was a British radio comedy programme, originally produced and broadcast by the BBC Home Service from 1951 to 1960, with occasional repeats on the BBC Light Programme...
and Monty Python
Monty Python
Monty Python was a British surreal comedy group who created their influential Monty Python's Flying Circus, a British television comedy sketch show that first aired on the BBC on 5 October 1969. Forty-five episodes were made over four series...
. It has been noted that Framley and its surrounding villages are actually based upon the town of Chelmsford
Chelmsford
Chelmsford is the county town of Essex, England and the principal settlement of the borough of Chelmsford. It is located in the London commuter belt, approximately northeast of Charing Cross, London, and approximately the same distance from the once provincial Roman capital at Colchester...
, Essex
Essex
Essex is a ceremonial and non-metropolitan county in the East region of England, and one of the home counties. It is located to the northeast of Greater London. It borders with Cambridgeshire and Suffolk to the north, Hertfordshire to the west, Kent to the South and London to the south west...
and surrounding settlements such as Writtle
Writtle
The village of Writtle lies a mile west of Chelmsford, Essex, England, it has a traditional village green, complete with duck pond and a Norman church; and was once described as: 'one of the loveliest villages in England, with a ravishing variety of ancient cottages'...
.
History
The Framley Examiner originally began as a website, started around 2001.Its success then spawned a book The Framley Examiner (ISBN 0-7181-4579-8) described on the cover as "the book of the website of the newspaper".
A second book, Historic Framley (ISBN 0-14-101528-4), was later published, produced in association with Framley Museum.
The writers are Robin Halstead, Jason Hazeley, Alex Morris and Joel Morris. The four are regular contributors to Viz magazine. The book Bollocks to Alton Towers
Bollocks to Alton Towers
Bollocks to Alton Towers: Uncommonly British Days Out is a humorous travel book written by Robin Halstead, Jason Hazeley, Alex Morris and Joel Morris , which showcases unusual attractions, left-field museums and one-off days out in the United Kingdom.The introduction describes the book as "a...
(ISBN 0-7181-4791-X), published in April 2005, by the same authors, is a non-fiction book unrelated to The Framley Examiner.
The website was last updated on 14 January 2010.
Contributors
- Challenger Putney, a bespectacled reporter who enjoys reporting on stories featuring the Framley town council or the Mayor of Framley, William D'Ainty. He is especially suited to the job, since he lives with the Mayor and his wife.
- Katie Blirdsnest, a woman who runs a feature called "The Blirdnest Report" which takes a look at life in and around the Framley area. Her previous reports have included such topics as interviewing the man who swallows the tide to stop it from flooding Framley, and rolling down rubbish heaps with binmen. Her reports often contain the phrase "I couldn't believe my eyes!"
- Damiun Clavalier, bored son of international fridge magnate Garuth Clavelier, who writes ridiculous articles in the hope of being sacked.
- Adam Wrent, whose photo byline depicts him at the age of four.
- Taunton Mishap, whose trademark journalistic style is to miss the point of the story.
- Pigshit Nelson, a transgenderTransgenderTransgender is a general term applied to a variety of individuals, behaviors, and groups involving tendencies to vary from culturally conventional gender roles....
who writes unintelligible sport reports. - Bunco Booth, a journalist who is in love with Katie Blirdsnest.
- Beaky Coxwain, a possible lesbianLesbianLesbian is a term most widely used in the English language to describe sexual and romantic desire between females. The word may be used as a noun, to refer to women who identify themselves or who are characterized by others as having the primary attribute of female homosexuality, or as an...
who is also in love with Katie Blirdsnest - Ursula Cloybeam, the Examiner's petty and vitriolic arts correspondent. Her reviews of local arts include a harsh review of a local school production of Julius CaesarJulius CaesarGaius Julius Caesar was a Roman general and statesman and a distinguished writer of Latin prose. He played a critical role in the gradual transformation of the Roman Republic into the Roman Empire....
. She is also apparently a member of the local secret society the Wripple Vetivers. - Jesus Chigley, wrote the first article ever published in the Framley Examiner, and spends most of the time reminding his colleagues of this.
- Stan Rubbish, the Examiner's darts correspondent.
- Bowery Tarpaulin
- Pharaoh Clutchstraw, science expert.
- Arcady Belvedere, writes about local history that only he seems to remember or care about.
- Odgar Cushion(deceased), a reporter of uncertain age who wrote the We'll Fancy That column, until his death sometime between 1994 and 2012 when the column was inherited by his son, Odnald.
- Arbroath Smokie
- Oliver Singultus-Hiccup, motoring reporter.
Framley and district
- Framley
- Wripple
- Codge
- Chipney
- Batley
- The Dungeon Housing Estate, which has more single fathers than there are grains of sand in the mighty desert
- Clown
- Glibley
- Durbiton
- Shilillingbury Lillingbury Illingbury On Ingbury
- Thoxtoxeter
- Effing Sodbury
- Ovenly
- Bellaire, home of the Bellaire HillockHilaire BellocJoseph Hilaire Pierre René Belloc was an Anglo-French writer and historian who became a naturalised British subject in 1902. He was one of the most prolific writers in England during the early twentieth century. He was known as a writer, orator, poet, satirist, man of letters and political activist...
. - Princes Freshborough (these last two are a reference to the TV show The Fresh Prince of Bel-AirThe Fresh Prince of Bel-AirThe Fresh Prince of Bel-Air is an American television sitcom that originally aired on NBC from September 10, 1990 to May 20, 1996. The show stars Will Smith as a fictionalized version of himself, a street-smart teenager from West Philadelphia who is sent to move in with his aunt and uncle in their...
)
St Eyot's and district
- St Eyot's, whose historic castle is thought to be the home of Britain's first batmanBatmanBatman is a fictional character created by the artist Bob Kane and writer Bill Finger. A comic book superhero, Batman first appeared in Detective Comics #27 , and since then has appeared primarily in publications by DC Comics...
- Slovenly
- Urling
- Fracton
- Clinton
- Flapton Nogley
- Stanglebridge
- Yopney St Oh!
- Queff
- Gartside Green
Molford and district
- Molford
- Molford St Gavin
- Molford St Malcolm
- Molford St Arahim Rhamal
- Robot Oak, a utopian village constructed of artificial materials and populated by robotRobotA robot is a mechanical or virtual intelligent agent that can perform tasks automatically or with guidance, typically by remote control. In practice a robot is usually an electro-mechanical machine that is guided by computer and electronic programming. Robots can be autonomous, semi-autonomous or...
s - Ghastley St Matthew
- Crème
- Tellephant
- Strawbury Magma
- Diesel Park WestDiesel Park WestDiesel Park West are an alternative rock band from Leicester, England. Formed in 1981, they have released ten albums to date, plus six singles that have appeared in the UK Singles Chart.-Original line-up:*John Butler...
Sockford and district
- Sockford holds an annual Vulture Jamboree in which visitors are invited to 'Discover how to Milk Vultures' and could meet Lazenby, Framley's biggest Hedgehog (until he died of prickleworm)
- Lessbury Moreborough
Whoft and district
- Whoft, which frequently suffered deluges of fluff, and was famous for its annual fete (featuring the 'Kitten in a Bottle' competition) until being completely destroyed by property developers due to a planning error.
- Wotten Plodney
- Queues Likely
- Little Godley, controlled by councillor Haris Paris, who mounted a military coup in late 1994 after someone parked a blue P Reg Mondeo in his allocated parking space.
- Chutney
- King's Mustard
- Clifton James
- Steeplecocque
Outlying districts
- Carnaby Constable
- Cloxted
- Rockney
- Hazeldean Inchmistress
- Billberry Buryborry
- Nyth
Running jokes
- Professor Arthur Bostrom, who meddles with the fabric of time and space, yet always declares "Experiment successful". Reference: Arthur BostromArthur BostromArthur Bostrom is an English actor, most famous for his role as Officer Crabtree, in the long-running BBC sitcom Allo 'Allo!.-Biography:...
, actor who played the part of an English policeman in the BBCBBCThe British Broadcasting Corporation is a British public service broadcaster. Its headquarters is at Broadcasting House in the City of Westminster, London. It is the largest broadcaster in the world, with about 23,000 staff...
sitcom 'Allo 'Allo!'Allo 'Allo!'Allo 'Allo! is a British sitcom broadcast on BBC One from 1982 to 1992 comprising eighty-five episodes. It is a parody of another BBC programme, the wartime drama Secret Army, and was created by David Croft, who also wrote the theme music, and Jeremy Lloyd. Lloyd and Croft wrote the first 6...
in the 1980s. - A man named Mr. Hollyhock who is always trying to sell his daughter Josie or her possessions in the classified ads.
- The Wripple Vetivers, a local secret society. They are routinely consulted by the US TreasuryUnited States Department of the TreasuryThe Department of the Treasury is an executive department and the treasury of the United States federal government. It was established by an Act of Congress in 1789 to manage government revenue...
about proposed changes to US banknotes. The US Treasury forgot to do this only once, with grim but unspecified consequences. - Estelle Donne, who has appeared in about a dozen wedding announcements.
- Fluff, which is apparently a mainstay of Whoft's economy.
- Mayor William D'Ainty, a flamboyant and possibly insane man who mounts ever more outrageous stunts in order to relieve the tedium of ruling Framley. Reference: the late Billy DaintyBilly DaintyWilliam Hooper Frank John Dainty was a British comedian, dancer, physical comedian and pantomime and television star....
, a music hall and television comic - Vince Previous, an unsavoury fellow who frequently places adverts offering various kinds of massage for ladies.
- Ianbeale Steeplecocque, MP for the district, whose sole concern is the effect of time travel on the local economy and infrastructure. Given the continued meddling of Professor Bostrom, his concerns may be justified. He was recently ousted in a cash for crisps scandal. Reference: Ian Beale is a character in the BBC soap EastEndersEastEndersEastEnders is a British television soap opera, first broadcast in the United Kingdom on BBC One on 19 February 1985 and continuing to today. EastEnders storylines examine the domestic and professional lives of the people who live and work in the fictional London Borough of Walford in the East End...
. - A constant desire for a Black and Decker Dinnermate and to go at any length to get one. For example in one ad: "Fountain of Knowledge, will swap for Elixir of Youth or Black and Decker Dinnermate". Reference: portable workbench the Black & Decker WorkmateRon HickmanRonald Price Hickman OBE was a South African born, Jersey based car designer and inventor who designed the original Lotus Elan, the Lotus Elan +2 and the Lotus Europa, as well as the Black & Decker Workmate....
. - Framley's twin town, Baden Schleissgarten ASF, and its mayor, Claus Freneddt, occasionally appear in the Examiner. Mayor Freneddt once ordered the Framley council to put up posters saying "your town stinks" across the town.
- Roy Newby, a rake magnate who owns most of the shops in the Framley area under the brand of "Newby's of Molford", including the NcNewby'sMcDonald'sMcDonald's Corporation is the world's largest chain of hamburger fast food restaurants, serving around 64 million customers daily in 119 countries. Headquartered in the United States, the company began in 1940 as a barbecue restaurant operated by the eponymous Richard and Maurice McDonald; in 1948...
fast food restaurant.