Steve Altes
Encyclopedia
Steve Altes is an American
rocket engineer
and writer
, best known for his humorous essays. His specialty is getting hired into unusual occupations and writing funny accounts of his misadventures. Some escapades he has written about include working as a hand model
, a stand-in
for Brad Pitt
, a trainer at the Federal Bureau of Investigation Academy
, answering phones for President-elect
Bill Clinton
, and applying to the Central Intelligence Agency
.
His essays have been published in the Los Angeles Times
, Washington Post, San Francisco Examiner, Christian Science Monitor, Boston Phoenix, National Lampoon, Technology Review
, The Ottawa Citizen, Penthouse
, Funny Times, The Syracuse Herald-Journal, Fairfield County Weekly, and Salon.com
. He has been a commentator for NPR's All Things Considered
and is a member of Us Weekly
s fashion police
.
Altes also works as a humorous speaker and a print model. In the late 1990s his face appeared on the box of Just for Men Sandy Blond haircolor. In 2004, he competed on the first season of the TV series Extreme Dodgeball
, playing for the undefeated league champions, the Certified Public Assassins.
Altes was born in Syracuse, New York
. Earlier in his career, Altes worked as an aerospace engineer. He holds three degrees (S.B.
, Aeronautics and Astronautics; S.M.
, Aeronautics and Astronautics; S.M.
, Technology and Policy) from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology
, obtained in 1984, 1986, and 1986 respectively, and was part of the Orbital Sciences Corporation
team that was awarded the 1991 National Medal of Technology
by President George H. W. Bush
for developing the Pegasus air-launched space booster
. His master's thesis was titled, "The Aerospace Plane
: Technological Feasibility and Policy Implications." Altes's thesis became the only college thesis ever reviewed by The New York Review of Books
when James Fallows
reviewed it in the December 18, 1986 edition.
He lives in the Los Angeles area, is married to acting coach Diana Jellinek, and has two sons, Augusten and Remington.
United States
The United States of America is a federal constitutional republic comprising fifty states and a federal district...
rocket engineer
Engineer
An engineer is a professional practitioner of engineering, concerned with applying scientific knowledge, mathematics and ingenuity to develop solutions for technical problems. Engineers design materials, structures, machines and systems while considering the limitations imposed by practicality,...
and writer
Writer
A writer is a person who produces literature, such as novels, short stories, plays, screenplays, poetry, or other literary art. Skilled writers are able to use language to portray ideas and images....
, best known for his humorous essays. His specialty is getting hired into unusual occupations and writing funny accounts of his misadventures. Some escapades he has written about include working as a hand model
Hand model
A hand model is a person who models their hand or hands for the purposes of art, fashion or other products or advertising. Hand models are used in advertising where advertisers want close ups of the product being handled...
, a stand-in
Stand-in
A stand-in for film and television is a person who substitutes for the actor before filming, for technical purposes such as lighting.Stand-ins are helpful in the initial processes of production. Lighting setup can be a slow and tedious process; during this time the actor will often be somewhere else...
for Brad Pitt
Brad Pitt
William Bradley "Brad" Pitt is an American actor and film producer. Pitt has received two Academy Award nominations and four Golden Globe Award nominations, winning one...
, a trainer at the Federal Bureau of Investigation Academy
Hogan's Alley (FBI)
Hogan's Alley is a tactical training facility of more than 10 acres operated by the FBI Training Academy. Hogan's Alley was opened in 1987, and was designed to provide a realistic urban setting for training agents of the FBI, DEA, and other local, state, federal and international law enforcement...
, answering phones for President-elect
President-elect
An -elect is a political candidate who has been elected to an office but who has not yet been sworn in or officially taken office. These may include an incoming president, senator, representative, governor and mayor.Analogously, the term "designate" An -elect is a political candidate who has been...
Bill Clinton
Bill Clinton
William Jefferson "Bill" Clinton is an American politician who served as the 42nd President of the United States from 1993 to 2001. Inaugurated at age 46, he was the third-youngest president. He took office at the end of the Cold War, and was the first president of the baby boomer generation...
, and applying to the Central Intelligence Agency
Central Intelligence Agency
The Central Intelligence Agency is a civilian intelligence agency of the United States government. It is an executive agency and reports directly to the Director of National Intelligence, responsible for providing national security intelligence assessment to senior United States policymakers...
.
His essays have been published in the Los Angeles Times
Los Angeles Times
The Los Angeles Times is a daily newspaper published in Los Angeles, California, since 1881. It was the second-largest metropolitan newspaper in circulation in the United States in 2008 and the fourth most widely distributed newspaper in the country....
, Washington Post, San Francisco Examiner, Christian Science Monitor, Boston Phoenix, National Lampoon, Technology Review
Technology Review
Technology Review is a magazine published by the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. It was founded in 1899 as "The Technology Review", and was re-launched without the "The" in its name on April 23, 1998 under then publisher R. Bruce Journey...
, The Ottawa Citizen, Penthouse
Penthouse (magazine)
Penthouse, a men's magazine founded by Bob Guccione, combines urban lifestyle articles and softcore pornographic pictorials that, in the 1990s, evolved into hardcore. Penthouse is owned by FriendFinder Network. formerly known as General Media, Inc. whose parent company was Penthouse International...
, Funny Times, The Syracuse Herald-Journal, Fairfield County Weekly, and Salon.com
Salon.com
Salon.com, part of Salon Media Group , often just called Salon, is an online liberal magazine, with content updated each weekday. Salon was founded by David Talbot and launched on November 20, 1995. It was the internet's first online-only commercial publication. The magazine focuses on U.S...
. He has been a commentator for NPR's All Things Considered
All Things Considered
All Things Considered is the flagship news program on the American network National Public Radio. It was the first news program on NPR, and is broadcast live worldwide through several outlets...
and is a member of Us Weekly
Us Weekly
Us Weekly is a celebrity gossip magazine, founded in 1977 by The New York Times Company, who sold it in 1980. It was acquired by Wenner Media in 1986. The publication covers topics ranging from celebrity relationships to the latest trends in fashion, beauty, and entertainment...
s fashion police
Fashion police
Fashion police jokingly refers to individuals belonging to an imaginary police force that ensures whether people dress according to good taste or to fashion. It may imply a narrow, rigid or uncreative sense of style or propriety...
.
Altes also works as a humorous speaker and a print model. In the late 1990s his face appeared on the box of Just for Men Sandy Blond haircolor. In 2004, he competed on the first season of the TV series Extreme Dodgeball
Extreme Dodgeball
Extreme Dodgeball is an American Sports Entertainment television show that debuted on Game Show Network in 2004. It has also been shown in the UK on Challenge.-Standard rules:...
, playing for the undefeated league champions, the Certified Public Assassins.
Altes was born in Syracuse, New York
Syracuse, New York
Syracuse is a city in and the county seat of Onondaga County, New York, United States, the largest U.S. city with the name "Syracuse", and the fifth most populous city in the state. At the 2010 census, the city population was 145,170, and its metropolitan area had a population of 742,603...
. Earlier in his career, Altes worked as an aerospace engineer. He holds three degrees (S.B.
Bachelor of Science
A Bachelor of Science is an undergraduate academic degree awarded for completed courses that generally last three to five years .-Australia:In Australia, the BSc is a 3 year degree, offered from 1st year on...
, Aeronautics and Astronautics; S.M.
Master of Science
A Master of Science is a postgraduate academic master's degree awarded by universities in many countries. The degree is typically studied for in the sciences including the social sciences.-Brazil, Argentina and Uruguay:...
, Aeronautics and Astronautics; S.M.
Master of Science
A Master of Science is a postgraduate academic master's degree awarded by universities in many countries. The degree is typically studied for in the sciences including the social sciences.-Brazil, Argentina and Uruguay:...
, Technology and Policy) from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology
Massachusetts Institute of Technology
The Massachusetts Institute of Technology is a private research university located in Cambridge, Massachusetts. MIT has five schools and one college, containing a total of 32 academic departments, with a strong emphasis on scientific and technological education and research.Founded in 1861 in...
, obtained in 1984, 1986, and 1986 respectively, and was part of the Orbital Sciences Corporation
Orbital Sciences Corporation
Orbital Sciences Corporation is an American company which specializes in the manufacturing and launch of satellites. Its Launch Systems Group is heavily involved with missile defense launch systems...
team that was awarded the 1991 National Medal of Technology
National Medal of Technology
The National Medal of Technology and Innovation is an honor granted by the President of the United States to American inventors and innovators who have made significant contributions to the development of new and important technology...
by President George H. W. Bush
George H. W. Bush
George Herbert Walker Bush is an American politician who served as the 41st President of the United States . He had previously served as the 43rd Vice President of the United States , a congressman, an ambassador, and Director of Central Intelligence.Bush was born in Milton, Massachusetts, to...
for developing the Pegasus air-launched space booster
Pegasus rocket
The Pegasus rocket is a winged space launch vehicle capable of carrying small, unmanned payloads into low Earth orbit. It is air-launched, as part of an expendable launch system developed by Orbital Sciences Corporation . Three main stages burning solid propellant provide the thrust...
. His master's thesis was titled, "The Aerospace Plane
Rockwell X-30
-See also:-References: 2. -External links:*...
: Technological Feasibility and Policy Implications." Altes's thesis became the only college thesis ever reviewed by The New York Review of Books
The New York Review of Books
The New York Review of Books is a fortnightly magazine with articles on literature, culture and current affairs. Published in New York City, it takes as its point of departure that the discussion of important books is itself an indispensable literary activity...
when James Fallows
James Fallows
James Fallows is an American print and radio journalist. He has been a national correspondent for The Atlantic Monthly for many years. His work has also appeared in Slate, The New York Times Magazine, The New York Review of Books, The New Yorker and The American Prospect, among others. He is a...
reviewed it in the December 18, 1986 edition.
He lives in the Los Angeles area, is married to acting coach Diana Jellinek, and has two sons, Augusten and Remington.
Books
- 1997 - The Little Book of Bad Business Advice (ISBN 0-312-96223-1) St. Martin's Press
- 2001 - If You Jam the Copier, Bolt (ISBN 0-7407-1865-7) Andrews McMeel Publishing
- 2005 - May Contain Nuts: A Very Loose Canon of American Humor (ISBN 0-06-051626-7) (contributor) Harper Paperbacks
- 2006 - Joke Express: Instant Delivery of 1,424 Funny Bits from the Best Comedians (ISBN 0-7407-6047-5) (contributor) Andrews McMeel Publishing
Filmography
- Girl, InterruptedGirl, Interrupted (film)Girl, Interrupted is a 1999 drama film about a teenager's 18-month stay at a mental institution, starring Winona Ryder, Brittany Murphy, Angelina Jolie, Whoopi Goldberg and Vanessa Redgrave, with Jolie winning an Academy Award for her performance....
(1999) - Hollow ManHollow ManHollow Man is a 2000 American science fiction thriller film directed by Paul Verhoeven and starring Elisabeth Shue, Kevin Bacon, and Josh Brolin. The film is about a scientist who renders himself invisible, a story inspired by H. G. Wells' The Invisible Man. The film was nominated for an Academy...
(2000) - Extreme DodgeballExtreme DodgeballExtreme Dodgeball is an American Sports Entertainment television show that debuted on Game Show Network in 2004. It has also been shown in the UK on Challenge.-Standard rules:...
(2004)