Stan Helsing
Encyclopedia
Stan Helsing is a 2009 parody film
, known in some parts of Asia as Scary Movie 5. Not unlike past movies, such as Scary Movie
, it directs parodies at horror films. Although it references many movies, TV shows, people and pop cultural events, it focuses mainly on the 2004 film Van Helsing
.
) is an underachieving employee at a video rental store named Schlockbuster whose personal motto is "Don't get involved". His teen-aged boss Sully orders him to drop off a bag of movies to the mother of the store's owner or risk not having a job Monday morning. Despite his arguments, he agrees to the request and manages to get his friend Teddy (Kenan Thompson
), his ex-girlfriend Nadine (Diora Baird
) and ditsy blond massage therapist Mia (Desi Lydic) to take him there before they attend a Halloween party, even though it's on the other side of town.
Enroute, the group encounters a traffic jam and, to Stan's surprise, he spots Chucky, the living doll (Jeff Gulka), who makes obscene gestures that no one else notices in the van of a MILF
next to them. Because of this disturbance, they miss their exit and decide to take a shortcut on which they hit a dog named Sammy Boy and inadvertently asked the dog's owner for help who then threatens to kill them for murdering his beloved dog. After fleeing the scene, Teddy picks up a hitchhiker, but after learning he was convicted of murdering nurses they violently throw him from the moving vehicle. They come across a gas station where the perverted owners tell Stan that he may be related to the legendary Abraham Van Helsing
, the monster hunter. They depart and after finding Stormy Night Estates, they discover the attendants never put gas into the car. They come across a local bar and meet the ire of the townsfolk in a bad attempt of Karaoke
while singing Johnny Cash
's song Ring of Fire
.
After they leave, they discover that all the citizens, including their waitress, Kay (Leslie Nielsen
), were actually dead due to a massive fire that consumed the town ten years earlier. They encounter several monsters including Pinhead
, the hockey-masked killer Jason Voorhees
, Chucky, Freddy Krueger
, Leatherface
, and a Jewish Michael Myers
. They are given weapons by an extroverted altar boy
who is so very close to becoming a priest
who informs Stan of his destiny and that he is Van Helsing's descendant, arming them with various weapons before kicking them out of his church. The townsfolk offer a competition in which Stan and his friends compete against the monsters in Karaoke. The humans are unanimously voted as the winners, but the monsters refuse to leave town. Disobeying his policy of never getting involved, Stan turns each of the monsters' weaknesses against them, soundly defeating them and feeding them to Sammy who had been brought back to vicious life (a'la Pet Sematary
). The group calls a cab and they leave the town as heroes. During the trip home, Nadine discovers how much she cares for Stan and kisses him. Teddy suggest kissing Mia, but she rebuffs with a lap dance
offer instead which he gladly accepts. The movie ends with the taxi cab driving away and the sound of moaning.
, Patsy Cline
and Village People
.
The music was composed by Ryan Shore
.
Parody film
A parody film is a comedy that satirizes other film genres or films. Although the genre is often overlooked, parody films are commonly profitable at the box office...
, known in some parts of Asia as Scary Movie 5. Not unlike past movies, such as Scary Movie
Scary Movie
Scary Movie is a 2000 comedy-parody film directed by Keenen Ivory Wayans, as part of Warner Bros. Entertainment. It is an American dark comedy which heavily parodies the horror, slasher, and mystery genres...
, it directs parodies at horror films. Although it references many movies, TV shows, people and pop cultural events, it focuses mainly on the 2004 film Van Helsing
Van Helsing (film)
Van Helsing is a 2004 American action horror film directed by Stephen Sommers. It stars Hugh Jackman as vigilante monster hunter Gabriel Van Helsing, and Kate Beckinsale...
.
Plot
Stan Helsing (Steve HoweySteve Howey (actor)
Steven Michael Robert "Steve" Howey is an American film and television actor, best known for his role as Van Montgomery in the television series Reba. His roles also include the films Supercross, DOA: Dead or Alive, and Bride Wars...
) is an underachieving employee at a video rental store named Schlockbuster whose personal motto is "Don't get involved". His teen-aged boss Sully orders him to drop off a bag of movies to the mother of the store's owner or risk not having a job Monday morning. Despite his arguments, he agrees to the request and manages to get his friend Teddy (Kenan Thompson
Kenan Thompson
Kenan Thompson is an American actor and comedian. He is best known for his work as a cast member of NBC's long-running sketch comedy series Saturday Night Live...
), his ex-girlfriend Nadine (Diora Baird
Diora Baird
Diora Lynn Baird is an American actress and former model for Guess? who has appeared in films such as Wedding Crashers and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning .-Early life:...
) and ditsy blond massage therapist Mia (Desi Lydic) to take him there before they attend a Halloween party, even though it's on the other side of town.
Enroute, the group encounters a traffic jam and, to Stan's surprise, he spots Chucky, the living doll (Jeff Gulka), who makes obscene gestures that no one else notices in the van of a MILF
MILF (slang)
MILF, an acronym for "Mother/Mom/Mum I'd Like to Fuck", is a common colloquial term generally regarded as vulgar when spelled out. It denotes a sexually attractive older female, generally between 25 and 50 years of age.-History:...
next to them. Because of this disturbance, they miss their exit and decide to take a shortcut on which they hit a dog named Sammy Boy and inadvertently asked the dog's owner for help who then threatens to kill them for murdering his beloved dog. After fleeing the scene, Teddy picks up a hitchhiker, but after learning he was convicted of murdering nurses they violently throw him from the moving vehicle. They come across a gas station where the perverted owners tell Stan that he may be related to the legendary Abraham Van Helsing
Abraham Van Helsing
Professor Abraham van Helsing is a protagonist from Bram Stoker's 1897 novel, Dracula.Van Helsing is a Dutch doctor with a wide range of interests and accomplishments, partly attested by the string of letters that follows his name: "M.D., D.Ph., D.Litt., etc." The character is best known as a...
, the monster hunter. They depart and after finding Stormy Night Estates, they discover the attendants never put gas into the car. They come across a local bar and meet the ire of the townsfolk in a bad attempt of Karaoke
Karaoke
is a form of interactive entertainment or video game in which amateur singers sing along with recorded music using a microphone and public address system. The music is typically a well-known pop song minus the lead vocal. Lyrics are usually displayed on a video screen, along with a moving symbol,...
while singing Johnny Cash
Johnny Cash
John R. "Johnny" Cash was an American singer-songwriter, actor, and author, who has been called one of the most influential musicians of the 20th century...
's song Ring of Fire
Ring of Fire (song)
"Ring of Fire" or "The Ring of Fire" is a country music song popularized by Johnny Cash and co-written by June Carter Cash and Merle Kilgore. The single appears on Cash's 1963 compilation album, Ring of Fire: The Best of Johnny Cash...
.
After they leave, they discover that all the citizens, including their waitress, Kay (Leslie Nielsen
Leslie Nielsen
Leslie William Nielsen, OC was a Canadian and naturalized American actor and comedian. Nielsen appeared in more than one hundred films and 1,500 television programs over the span of his career, portraying more than 220 characters...
), were actually dead due to a massive fire that consumed the town ten years earlier. They encounter several monsters including Pinhead
Pinhead (Hellraiser)
Pinhead is a fictional character from the Hellraiser series. Created by Clive Barker and portrayed by Doug Bradley, Pinhead is a prominent figure in the series, mostly featured as the main antagonist....
, the hockey-masked killer Jason Voorhees
Jason Voorhees
Jason Voorhees is a fictional character from the Friday the 13th series of slasher films. He first appeared in Friday the 13th , as the son of camp cook-turned-murderer, Mrs. Voorhees, in which he was portrayed by Ari Lehman. Created by Victor Miller, with contributions by Ron Kurz, Sean S...
, Chucky, Freddy Krueger
Freddy Krueger
Frederick Charles "Freddy" Krueger is a fictional, horrifying character from the Nightmare on Elm Street series of horror films. He first appears in Wes Craven's A Nightmare on Elm Street as a disfigured dream stalker who uses a glove armed with razors to kill his victims in their dreams,...
, Leatherface
Leatherface
Leatherface is the main antagonist in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre horror-film series and its spin-offs. He wears masks made of human skin and engages in murder and cannibalism alongside his inbred family. He is considered by many to be one of the first major slasher film villains alongside Michael...
, and a Jewish Michael Myers
Michael Myers (Halloween)
Michael Myers is a fictional character from the Halloween series of slasher films. He first appears in John Carpenter's Halloween as a young boy who murders his older sister, then fifteen years later returns home to murder more teenagers...
. They are given weapons by an extroverted altar boy
Altar server
An altar server is a lay assistant to a member of the clergy during a Christian religious service. An altar server attends to supporting tasks at the altar such as fetching and carrying, ringing the altar bell and so on....
who is so very close to becoming a priest
Priest
A priest is a person authorized to perform the sacred rites of a religion, especially as a mediatory agent between humans and deities. They also have the authority or power to administer religious rites; in particular, rites of sacrifice to, and propitiation of, a deity or deities...
who informs Stan of his destiny and that he is Van Helsing's descendant, arming them with various weapons before kicking them out of his church. The townsfolk offer a competition in which Stan and his friends compete against the monsters in Karaoke. The humans are unanimously voted as the winners, but the monsters refuse to leave town. Disobeying his policy of never getting involved, Stan turns each of the monsters' weaknesses against them, soundly defeating them and feeding them to Sammy who had been brought back to vicious life (a'la Pet Sematary
Pet Sematary
Pet Sematary is a 1983 horror novel by Stephen King. It was nominated for a World Fantasy Award for Best Novel in 1984, and was later made into a film of the same name.-Plot:...
). The group calls a cab and they leave the town as heroes. During the trip home, Nadine discovers how much she cares for Stan and kisses him. Teddy suggest kissing Mia, but she rebuffs with a lap dance
Lap dance
A lap dance is a type of sex work performed in some strip clubs in which a naked or topless dancer performs an erotic dance either in immediate contact with a seated patron, or within a very short distance. With full-contact lap dances, the stripper may engage in non-penetrative sexual contact...
offer instead which he gladly accepts. The movie ends with the taxi cab driving away and the sound of moaning.
The Cast Of Stan Helsing
- Steve HoweySteve Howey (actor)Steven Michael Robert "Steve" Howey is an American film and television actor, best known for his role as Van Montgomery in the television series Reba. His roles also include the films Supercross, DOA: Dead or Alive, and Bride Wars...
as Stan Helsing - Diora BairdDiora BairdDiora Lynn Baird is an American actress and former model for Guess? who has appeared in films such as Wedding Crashers and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning .-Early life:...
as Nadine - Kenan ThompsonKenan ThompsonKenan Thompson is an American actor and comedian. He is best known for his work as a cast member of NBC's long-running sketch comedy series Saturday Night Live...
as Teddy - Desi Lydic as Mia
- Leslie NielsenLeslie NielsenLeslie William Nielsen, OC was a Canadian and naturalized American actor and comedian. Nielsen appeared in more than one hundred films and 1,500 television programs over the span of his career, portraying more than 220 characters...
as Kay - Travis MacDonald as Hitcher
- Chad Krowchuk as Sully
- Darren Moore as Crazy
- Jeremy Crittenden as Altar Boy
- Jeff Gulka as Chucky
- Ken KirzingerKen KirzingerKen Kirzinger is a Canadian stuntman and actor best known for his portrayal of Jason Voorhees in Freddy vs. Jason and of Pa in Wrong Turn 2: Dead End . He also played "Mason" Jason Voorhees character spoof in the horror film parody, Stan Helsing.-Role as Jason Voorhees:At he is one of the...
as Mason - Ben CottonBen CottonBen Cotton is a Canadian actor perhaps best known for his role in the TV series Stargate Atlantis playing the scientist Dr. Kavanagh. He is also famous for his portrayel of "Leon Bell" in the game Dead Rising 2...
as Freddy - Lee Tichon as Michael Miers
- Twan Holliday as Leatherface
- Charles Zuckermann as Needlehead
- Hilary Strang as Hippie Lady
- Ray G. Thunderchild as Husband
- John DeSantisJohn DeSantisJohn DeSantis is a Canadian actor, perhaps best known as Lurch in the 1998–99 Fox Family production of The Addams Family, entitled The New Addams Family. This role was originally portrayed by Ted Cassidy. He is 206 cm tall. Because of his great height, he has been recognised as one of the...
as Frankenstein's Monster - Jeremiah Sird as Idiot Indian
Soundtrack
Although no soundtrack album was released the film includes songs by Pluto, The Saturday Knights, Davernoise and covers of songs by Johnny CashJohnny Cash
John R. "Johnny" Cash was an American singer-songwriter, actor, and author, who has been called one of the most influential musicians of the 20th century...
, Patsy Cline
Patsy Cline
Patsy Cline , born Virginia Patterson Hensley in Gore, Virginia, was an American country music singer who enjoyed pop music crossover success during the era of the Nashville sound in the early 1960s...
and Village People
Village People
Village People is a concept disco group that formed in the United States in 1977, well known for their on-stage costumes depicting American cultural stereotypes, as well as their catchy tunes and suggestive lyrics....
.
The music was composed by Ryan Shore
Ryan Shore
Ryan Shore is a Grammy Award nominated composer for film, television, records and games. He is a graduate of the Berklee College of Music and is the nephew of Academy Award winning composer Howard Shore.-Music career:...
.