GDR jokes
Encyclopedia
Jokes in the German Democratic Republic
German Democratic Republic
The German Democratic Republic , informally called East Germany by West Germany and other countries, was a socialist state established in 1949 in the Soviet zone of occupied Germany, including East Berlin of the Allied-occupied capital city...

 (GDR) frequently included political characters (e.g. Erich Honecker
Erich Honecker
Erich Honecker was a German communist politician who led the German Democratic Republic as General Secretary of the Socialist Unity Party from 1971 until 1989, serving as Head of State as well from Willi Stoph's relinquishment of that post in 1976....

), the Socialist Unity Party of Germany
Socialist Unity Party of Germany
The Socialist Unity Party of Germany was the governing party of the German Democratic Republic from its formation on 7 October 1949 until the elections of March 1990. The SED was a communist political party with a Marxist-Leninist ideology...

 (SED) and mundane life dealing with economic scarcity.

Structure of jokes

Comparisons between countries were also common—for example between East Germany, the Soviet Union
Soviet Union
The Soviet Union , officially the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics , was a constitutionally socialist state that existed in Eurasia between 1922 and 1991....

, and the United States
United States
The United States of America is a federal constitutional republic comprising fifty states and a federal district...

 or their citizens.

Jokes in relation to social and professional groups, in particular, officers of the Volkspolizei
Volkspolizei
The Volkspolizei , or VP, were the national police of the German Democratic Republic . The Volkspolizei were responsible for most law enforcement in East Germany, but its organisation and structure were such that it could be considered a paramilitary force as well...

 were often portrayed as brainless.

The Q&A-type jokes of Armenian Radio
Radio Yerevan
Radio Yerevan, or Armenian Radio jokes have been very popular in the Soviet Union and in other Communist countries of the ex-Eastern bloc since the second half of the 20th century....

 were also common.

Jokes in relation to national, regional or ethnic groups: about Russians
Russians
The Russian people are an East Slavic ethnic group native to Russia, speaking the Russian language and primarily living in Russia and neighboring countries....

, Poles
Poland
Poland , officially the Republic of Poland , is a country in Central Europe bordered by Germany to the west; the Czech Republic and Slovakia to the south; Ukraine, Belarus and Lithuania to the east; and the Baltic Sea and Kaliningrad Oblast, a Russian exclave, to the north...

, and the Saxons
Saxony
The Free State of Saxony is a landlocked state of Germany, contingent with Brandenburg, Saxony Anhalt, Thuringia, Bavaria, the Czech Republic and Poland. It is the tenth-largest German state in area, with of Germany's sixteen states....

.

Other, general categories of jokes were also Fritzchen jokes (with an unsuspecting young boy, called Fritz
Fritz
Fritz originated as a German nickname for Friedrich, or Frederick , as well as for similar names including Fridolin...

).

Economic scarcity

  • What would happen if the desert became a socialist country? Nothing for a while, and then there would be a sand shortage.
  • How can you use a banana as a compass? Place a banana on the Berlin Wall. East is where a bite has been taken out of it.
  • A customer orders a Trabant
    Trabant
    The Trabant is a car that was produced by former East German auto maker VEB Sachsenring Automobilwerke Zwickau in Zwickau, Sachsen. It was the most common vehicle in East Germany, and was also exported to countries both inside and outside the communist bloc...

     car. The salesman tells him to come back to pick it up in nine years. The customer: "Shall I come back in the morning or in the evening then?" The sellers: "You're joking, aren't you." The customer: "No, not at all. It's just that I need to know; the plumber comes at 3pm then."

Country and politics

  • Which three great nations
    Great power
    A great power is a nation or state that has the ability to exert its influence on a global scale. Great powers characteristically possess military and economic strength and diplomatic and cultural influence which may cause small powers to consider the opinions of great powers before taking actions...

     in the world begin with "U"? - USA, USSR, and Our GDR (German: USA, UdSSR, Unsere DDR). This alludes to how official discourse
    Discourse
    Discourse generally refers to "written or spoken communication". The following are three more specific definitions:...

     often used the phrase "our GDR", and also often exaggerated the GDR's world status.
  • A school teacher asks little Fritz : "Fritzchen, why are you always speaking of our Soviet brothers? It's 'Soviet friends'." Fritz responds: "Well, you can pick your friends."
  • The teacher asks: "Fritzchen, what is the difference between capitalism
    Capitalism
    Capitalism is an economic system that became dominant in the Western world following the demise of feudalism. There is no consensus on the precise definition nor on how the term should be used as a historical category...

     and socialism
    Socialism
    Socialism is an economic system characterized by social ownership of the means of production and cooperative management of the economy; or a political philosophy advocating such a system. "Social ownership" may refer to any one of, or a combination of, the following: cooperative enterprises,...

    ?" Fritz replies: "Capitalism is the exploitation of man by man. Under socialism, it is the other way around."

Stasi

  • Honecker and Mielke
    Erich Mielke
    Erich Fritz Emil Mielke was a German communist politician and Minister of State Security—and as such head of the Stasi —of the German Democratic Republic between 1957 and 1989. Mielke spent more than a decade as an operative of the NKVD during the rule of Joseph Stalin...

     are discussing their hobbies. Honecker: "I collect (ich sammele) all the jokes about me." Mielke: "Well we have almost the same hobby. I round up (ich sammele... ein, figuratively) all those who tell jokes about you."
  • How can you tell that the Stasi has bugged
    Covert listening device
    A covert listening device, more commonly known as a bug or a wire, is usually a combination of a miniature radio transmitter with a microphone. The use of bugs, called bugging, is a common technique in surveillance, espionage and in police investigations.A bug does not have to be a device...

     your apartment? There's a new cabinet in it. (This is an allusion to the underdeveloped state of East German microelectronics.)

Honecker

  • 'Early in the morning, Honecker arrives at his office and opens his window. He sees the sun and says: "Good morning, dear Sun!" The sun replies: "Good morning, dear Erich!" Honecker works, and then at noon he heads to the window and says: "Good day, dear Sun!" The sun replies: "Good day, dear Erich!" In the evening, Erich calls it a day, and heads once more to the window, and says: "Good evening, dear Sun!" The sun is silent. Honecker says again: "Good evening, dear Sun! What's the matter?" The sun replies: "Kiss my arse. I'm in the West
    West Germany
    West Germany is the common English, but not official, name for the Federal Republic of Germany or FRG in the period between its creation in May 1949 to German reunification on 3 October 1990....

     now."' (from the 2006 Oscar-winning movie The Lives of Others
    The Lives of Others
    The Lives of Others is a 2006 German drama film, marking the feature film debut of filmmaker Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck. The film involves the monitoring of the cultural scene of East Berlin by agents of the Stasi, the GDR's secret police...

    )

  • "What's the difference between Honecker and a telephone? None! Hang up and try again." This is a pun
    Pun
    The pun, also called paronomasia, is a form of word play which suggests two or more meanings, by exploiting multiple meanings of words, or of similar-sounding words, for an intended humorous or rhetorical effect. These ambiguities can arise from the intentional use and abuse of homophonic,...

     with the German words aufhängen, neuwählen, meaning both 'hang up' and 'hang', meaning both 'hang up the phone and dial again' and 'hang him and vote again'.

  • Leonid Brezhnev
    Leonid Brezhnev
    Leonid Ilyich Brezhnev  – 10 November 1982) was the General Secretary of the Central Committee of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union , presiding over the country from 1964 until his death in 1982. His eighteen-year term as General Secretary was second only to that of Joseph Stalin in...

     is asked what is his opinion of Honecker. "Well, politically - I don't have much esteem for him. But - he definitely knows how to kiss
    My God, help me to survive this deadly love
    My God, Help Me to Survive This Deadly Love , sometimes referred to as the Fraternal Kiss , is a graffiti painting on the Berlin wall by Dmitri Vrubel, one of the best known of the Berlin wall graffiti paintings...

    !"

Trabant

  • What's the best feature of a Trabant?: There's a heater at the back to keep your hands warm when you're pushing it.
  • A West German visitor is driving a Mercedes through East Germany on a rainy night when his windshield wipers stop working. He takes it to an East German mechanic, who tells him there are no Mercedes windshield wiper motors in the GDR, but he will do his best to fix it. When the businessman returns the next day, to his surprise the windshield wipers are working perfectly. "How did you find a Mercedes windshield wiper motor in the East?" he asks the mechanic. "We didn't," replies the mechanic, "We used the engine of a Trabant."

Saxons

  • What was the most-frequently used word at the German-German border? "Goose meat". (Gänsefleisch, sounds like the first three words in Gönn'se vielleischt mal 'n Gofferraum bidde offmachn? in the Saxon accent, Können Sie vielleicht bitte mal den Kofferraum öffnen? in standard German
    German language
    German is a West Germanic language, related to and classified alongside English and Dutch. With an estimated 90 – 98 million native speakers, German is one of the world's major languages and is the most widely-spoken first language in the European Union....

    , which means Could you please open the trunk? ) This joke cannot be fully understood unless one realizes that most East German border guards who worked at the West German border were recruited from Saxony, the most populous part of the country and larger parts thereof without availability of West German broadcasts.
  • The doorbell rings. The woman goes to the door and shortly comes back startled and turns to her husband, seeking help: "Dieter! There's a man standing outside who only asks 'Tatü tata'" (Tatü tata is onomatopoeia for the sound a police car siren
    Siren (noisemaker)
    A siren is a loud noise making device. Most modern ones are civil defense or air raid sirens, tornado sirens, or the sirens on emergency service vehicles such as ambulances, police cars and fire trucks. There are two general types: pneumatic and electronic....

     makes). Dieter goes to the door and comes back laughing. "It's my coworker from Saxony, asking "'s do Dieta da?" (Ist der Dieter da?, "Is Dieter there?")

Books

  • Clement de Wroblewsky: Wo wir sind, ist vorn – Der politische Witz in der DDR, Hamburg 1986, ISBN 3-89136-093-2
  • Ingolf Franke: Das große DDR-Witz.de Buch, 500 kommentierte DDR-Witze, Forchheim 2002, ISBN 3-937547-00-2 ("The Big Book of Jokes from DDR-Witz.de", 500 commented GDR jokes)
  • Ingolf Franke: Das zweite große DDR-Witze.de Buch, weitere 500 kommentierte DDR-Witze, Forchheim 2003, ISBN 3-937547-01-0 ("The Second Big Book of Jokes from DDR-Witz.de", other 500 commented GDR jokes)
  • John Rodden (2002) "Repainting the Little Red Schoolhouse: A History of Eastern German Education, 1945-1995", ISBN 019511244X, pages 139, 143, 163, 164, 186, 189, 190, 394, 424, 425, 442 (search for "jokes")

External links

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