Etiquette in Australia and New Zealand

Expectations regarding good manners differ from person to person and vary according to each situation. As the perception of behaviors and actions vary, intercultural competence

Intercultural competence

Intercultural competence is the ability of successful communication with people of other cultures.A person who is interculturally competent captures and understands, in interaction with people from foreign cultures, their specific concepts in perception, thinking, feeling and acting...

is essential. However, a lack of knowledge about the customs and expectation

Norm (sociology)

Social norms are the accepted behaviors within a society or group. This sociological and social psychological term has been defined as "the rules that a group uses for appropriate and inappropriate values, beliefs, attitudes and behaviors. These rules may be explicit or implicit...

s of people in Australia

Australia

Australia , officially the Commonwealth of Australia, is a country in the Southern Hemisphere comprising the mainland of the Australian continent, the island of Tasmania, and numerous smaller islands in the Indian and Pacific Oceans. It is the world's sixth-largest country by total area...

and New Zealand

New Zealand

New Zealand is an island country in the south-western Pacific Ocean comprising two main landmasses and numerous smaller islands. The country is situated some east of Australia across the Tasman Sea, and roughly south of the Pacific island nations of New Caledonia, Fiji, and Tonga...

can make even the best intentioned person seem ignorant, inconsiderate or even rude.

Shared expectations

Australia and New Zealand are separate countries, each with its own distinct national identity that includes particular customs and rules of etiquette. Confusing their identities in general conversation is usually not tolerated and will be quickly corrected. Points of etiquette that apply to both countries include the following:

General

When meeting friends or new people and when leaving the company of friends or people who one has just met it is becoming less common to require the handshake to be firm, though many are still offended by a 'limp' handshake. Giving someone a limp handshake is referred to as giving someone a "dead fish" and is often viewed with derision, especially in country areas. A quick clasping of hands may be OK for younger people. However, it is always respectful to make eye contact when you shake hands.

Language

Requesting a fanny pack
Fanny pack
A fanny pack , belt pack , belly bag , Buffalo pouch , hip sack , waist bag , hip pack , bum bag , cangurera , banano or moon bag is a small fabric pouch secured with a zipper and worn by use of a strap around the hips or...

can be considered obscene due to the use of "fanny" as a slang
Slang
Slang is the use of informal words and expressions that are not considered standard in the speaker's language or dialect but are considered more acceptable when used socially. Slang is often to be found in areas of the lexicon that refer to things considered taboo...

term for female genitalia. "Bum bag" is the acceptable local variation in some areas. Australians and New Zealanders are generally tolerant of foreigners making this mistake.
Enquiring about which sporting team "you root for" will be met with amusement. "Root" is a vulgar term in both Australia & New Zealand for sexual intercourse. Use "go for" or "support" instead. "Barrack for" is also used by some Australians.
An enquiry about a person's well being (such as "How's it going?" or "How are you going?") is a common greeting. Generally the accepted response is "Not too bad", and it is considered polite to ask the person the same question back. It is also considered polite to greet anyone, including strangers, in this way.
Bragging, or initiating discussion of one's own achievements, is usually considered in poor taste. (See tall poppy syndrome
Tall poppy syndrome
Tall poppy syndrome is a pejorative term primarily used in the UK, Canada, Australia, New Zealand and other Anglosphere nations to describe a social phenomenon in which people of genuine merit are resented, attacked, cut down, or criticised because their talents or achievements elevate them above...

.)
It is acceptable to host a barbecue without supplying all the food and drink. The host may ask guests to bring particular items such as beverages, salad, or meat, often using the acronym "BYO"
The term "bring a plate" is synonymous with "potluck
Potluck
A potluck is a gathering of people where each person or group of people contributes a dish of food prepared by the person or the group of people, to be shared among the group...

"

Public places

As cars drive on the left side of the road in both countries, people moving forward will generally go to the left as well. When walking on the pavement (usually called the 'footpath'), one should walk on the left, whenever possible. When travelling on escalators or moving walkways, one should keep to the right when walking, or keep to the left when standing.

When using public transport
Public transport
Public transport is a shared passenger transportation service which is available for use by the general public, as distinct from modes such as taxicab, car pooling or hired buses which are not shared by strangers without private arrangement.Public transport modes include buses, trolleybuses, trams...

, it is rude to board before letting other passengers disembark. It is polite to move from the aisle to the window seat if it is vacant, to allow others passengers to sit down easily.
Trains and buses in all states of Australia and in New Zealand have seats set aside for elderly and disabled people. Sitting in these seats is acceptable but these seats should be offered to the people they are set aside for.
Spitting on the street is frowned upon.
When getting off a bus you may choose to say thank you to the driver, especially if they have been polite or provided a comfortable ride, although it is not bad manners if you don't.

Bars and restaurants

When paying a cashier, it is common to place the money in their hand. Change is usually placed in your hand in return. When paying at a restaurant it is acceptable to leave the money in the tray on the table, if one is provided. Otherwise, leave it inside the menu card and hand back to the waiter/waitress with a word of thanks. Paying at the cash register is most often the best way to avoid confusion.
Tipping is not usually expected and some employees may not understand the gesture. Some employees are forbidden from accepting gratuities (this is mainly in positions of authority e.g. in a casino one cannot tip the dealer or a security guard however, this would not apply in a formal restaurant situation) and tipping face-to-face can create an awkward situation. However, it is appropriate to add a tip to restaurant bills if the service has been especially good. It is also acceptable to suggest that taxi drivers or waiters "keep the change", especially if the difference is small. Tips may be as large or as small as you feel appropriate. Where tip jars are provided, they are mostly used for loose change or coins.
Queuing (forming a line) is expected when there is any demand for an item. The only exception to this is a pub. However, it is still rude to accept service from a barman
Bartender
A bartender is a person who serves beverages behind a counter in a bar, pub, tavern, or similar establishment. A bartender, in short, "tends the bar". The term barkeeper may carry a connotation of being the bar's owner...

before someone who has been waiting longer. A simple nod or subtle gesture towards the person who has waited longer will be understood by any experienced server to mean that the indicated person was before you.
If you are in a pub and accidentally knock a person's drink over or bump into them and cause a spillage, it is both customary and polite to buy him another one - or at least offer to do so. Failing to do so may aggravate the average Australian bar patron and possibly cause them to respond aggressively toward you.
When out with friends, co-workers or relatives, it is common but not compulsory for people to take turns buying rounds of drinks
Round of drinks
A round of drinks is a set of alcoholic beverages purchased by one person in a group for that complete group. The purchaser buys the round of drinks as a single order at the bar. In many places it is customary for people to take turns buying rounds....

. This is referred to as a 'shout', e.g. "It's my shout."
When entering the bar of a RSL
Returned and Services League of Australia
The Returned and Services League of Australia is a support organisation for men and women who have served or are serving in the Australian Defence Force ....

(Returned Services Association - R.S.A. in New Zealand) or golf club, a man who does not remove his hat is considered rude and as a result rebuked by being told that he is expected to 'shout' (buy a round of drinks) for all those present.
It is very rude to try to get someone's attention in a public place by saying "Oi!" or "Hey you!" or whistling especially in bars/pubs and restaurants.
A person who takes the last item of food from a common plate, without first offering it to the others at the table may be seen as greedy or inconsiderate.
You should treat people serving you as politely as you expect them to treat you. Use 'please' when placing an order or making a request and 'thank you' when you receive your order or service. They are there to help you, but they are not your 'slaves' or inferiors
Complaints in restaurants are rare. Most will merely refuse to revisit an establishment after bad food or service
Surcharges for use of less commonly used credit cards such as Diners Club and Amex commonly apply in many Australian establishments. To avoid conflict most establishments will advertise this with a sign of some sort near the cashier area
Arguing or yelling with staff in a food & beverage establishment is considered rude and inappropriate
Common restaurant manners include using the knife and fork properly, refraining from burping and placing elbows on a table, placing your napkin on your lap and folding it neatly after use and eating in a polite and appropriate manner. Eg. Not slurping on soup or spaghetti.

Driving

Waving as a gesture of thanks to drivers that stop to allow you into their lane, exit a driveway, merging into the lane, or cross at a crossing, is viewed as polite.
A common experience while travelling on state highways is being 'flashed' by oncoming vehicles. This is when an oncoming vehicle flicks its high beam headlights quickly but noticeably (day or night), and serves to warn drivers they are approaching a hazard: a speed camera or Police vehicle/Radar/Random Breath Test (most commonly), or a motor vehicle accident, or animals/rocks on the road . Many drivers acknowledge this with a return wave or a brief reply 'flash' of their high beam headlights.. It is also done to alert the other driver if they have neglected to turn their own headlights on when necessary.
When driving on Australian highways, if you are passed by a vehicle that is towing it is customary to signal to the passing vehicle that they are far enough ahead to move back into the left lane by 'flashing' your headlights. It is then polite for the passing vehicle to quickly flash their left, right and then left indicator as a signal of thanks.
When coming out of parking lots and driveways in an automobile, it is considered polite to let a pedestrian walking on a footpath pass first.
If a fellow driver is in trouble in Australia (for example: broken down, flat tire, lost) it is polite to take some time to assist them, however if it is impossible for you to stop then it is not a necessity.

General

It may be impolite for an outsider to remark on Australia's history as a penal colony
Penal colony
A penal colony is a settlement used to exile prisoners and separate them from the general populace by placing them in a remote location, often an island or distant colonial territory...

. The vast majority immigrants to Australia have been free immigrants.
Compared to many people from the UK and US, Australians may be more casual in various social situations. Those who resist this attitude may be viewed as snobbish
Snob
A snob is someone who believes that some people are inherently inferior to him or her for any one of a variety of reasons, including real or supposed intellect, wealth, education, ancestry, taste, beauty, nationality, et cetera. Often, the form of snobbery reflects the snob's personal attributes...

.
Although viewed as a homogeneous society (70% Anglo-Celtic of predominantly English/Anglo-British origin), there is more acknowledgement of the country's growing ethnic/racial diversity.
Making jokes at another's expense or "taking the piss" is common in Australian society and is often a bonding process. However, it is frowned upon and considered cowardly to make jokes in the absence of the subject. Contrary to many other countries, Australians will generally wait until the subject is present before making derogatory jokes. For example, when an Australian meets a New Zealander on holiday, they may ask if they brought velcro gloves in order to get a better grip on those Australian sheep.

Language

In informal situations some language that might be considered foul or offensive in other cultures may be used to convey different things. However it is considered rude and offensive to behave in this manner in front of children and women especially in rural areas.
"Indigenous Australian" and "Aboriginal/Aborigine" are polite terms, also regional/state preferences such as "Koori" are also acceptable as long the person in question and you both consider each other friends. Aboriginal/Aborigine refers to Indigenous people from the mainland, the Torres Strait Islanders are a separate group with their own cultural traditions. "Abo", "Coon", "Gin" and "Boong" or "Boonga" are all considered offensive and unacceptable in formal conversation when describing Aborigines but are often used in casual conversations even when one of the participants is of Indigenous descent, though this is often frowned upon. "Aboriginal" is now used only as an adjective, although older documents may still use it as a noun (eg, "Aboriginals"). Note that the words "Coon" and "Gin" are not always considered offensive in other contexts - the former being a popular brand of cheese and the latter a common drink. The politest option is to simply avoid the issue of race.
State/ regional preferences for specific names for groups of Indigenous Australians have also arisen in recent years: The term Koori
Koori
The Koori are the indigenous Australians that traditionally occupied modern day New South Wales and Victoria....

(or Koorie) in New South Wales
New South Wales
New South Wales is a state of :Australia, located in the east of the country. It is bordered by Queensland, Victoria and South Australia to the north, south and west respectively. To the east, the state is bordered by the Tasman Sea, which forms part of the Pacific Ocean. New South Wales...

or Victoria
Victoria (Australia)
Victoria is the second most populous state in Australia. Geographically the smallest mainland state, Victoria is bordered by New South Wales, South Australia, and Tasmania on Boundary Islet to the north, west and south respectively....

. Those from Queensland
Queensland
Queensland is a state of Australia, occupying the north-eastern section of the mainland continent. It is bordered by the Northern Territory, South Australia and New South Wales to the west, south-west and south respectively. To the east, Queensland is bordered by the Coral Sea and Pacific Ocean...

use the term Murri . Nunga
Nunga
Nunga is a term of self-reference for many of the Aboriginal peoples of southern South Australia.-Other names used by Australian Aboriginal people:There are a number of names from Aboriginal languages commonly used to identify groups based on geography:...

is used in most of South Australia
South Australia
South Australia is a state of Australia in the southern central part of the country. It covers some of the most arid parts of the continent; with a total land area of , it is the fourth largest of Australia's six states and two territories.South Australia shares borders with all of the mainland...

. Noongar
Noongar
The Noongar are an indigenous Australian people who live in the south-west corner of Western Australia from Geraldton on the west coast to Esperance on the south coast...

is used in southern Western Australia
Western Australia
Western Australia is a state of Australia, occupying the entire western third of the Australian continent. It is bounded by the Indian Ocean to the north and west, the Great Australian Bight and Indian Ocean to the south, the Northern Territory to the north-east and South Australia to the south-east...

. Anangu
Anangu
Anangu, more accurately "Aṉaŋu" or "Arnangu" is a word found in a number of eastern varieties of the Western Desert Language , an Australian Aboriginal language of the Pama–Nyungan family, spoken in the desert regions of western and central Australia. Before the arrival of non-Aboriginal people in...

is used in northern South Australia, and neighbouring parts of Western Australia and the Northern Territory
Northern Territory
The Northern Territory is a federal territory of Australia, occupying much of the centre of the mainland continent, as well as the central northern regions...

. Palawah
Palawah
Palawah or Pallawah is a term of self-reference for Tasmanian Aborigines.-Other names used by Australian Aboriginal people:There are a number of names from Aboriginal languages commonly used to identify groups based on geography:...

is used in Tasmania
Tasmania
Tasmania is an Australian island and state. It is south of the continent, separated by Bass Strait. The state includes the island of Tasmania—the 26th largest island in the world—and the surrounding islands. The state has a population of 507,626 , of whom almost half reside in the greater Hobart...

. However, there were over 200 different languages at the time of European settlement, which means these terms are very specific.

Tipping

Tipping is not usually expected and some employees may not understand the gesture. Some employees are forbidden from accepting gratuities (this is mainly in positions of authority e.g. in a casino one cannot tip the dealer or a security guard; however, this would not apply in a formal restaurant situation) and tipping face-to-face can create an awkward situation. However, it is appropriate to add a tip to restaurant bills if the service has been especially good. It is also acceptable to suggest that taxi drivers or waiters "keep the change", especially if the difference is small. Tips may be as large or as small as you feel appropriate. Where tip jars are provided, they are mostly used for loose change or coins.

Ethnic issues

Although those of Middle Eastern, Italian, Slavic or Greek descent may make flippant use of terms such as 'Leb' or wog
Wog
Wog or Pog is a slang word with a number of meanings, generally considered derogatory and, in some instances, extremely offensive when used in relation to ethnicity...

(as in recent film "The Wog Boy
The Wog Boy
The Wog Boy is a 2000 Australian motion picture comedy starring Nick Giannopoulos, Vince Colosimo, Lucy Bell, Abi Tucker, John Barresi, Stephen Curry, Hung Le, Geraldine Turner, Tony Nikolakopoulos and Derryn Hinch. -Plot:...

"), as well on television comedies Acropolis
Acropolis
Acropolis means "high city" in Greek, literally city on the extremity and is usually translated into English as Citadel . For purposes of defense, early people naturally chose elevated ground to build a new settlement, frequently a hill with precipitous sides...

and Kingswood Country
Kingswood Country
Kingswood Country is an Australian sitcom that screened from 1980 to 1984 on the Seven Network. The series started on 30 January 1980 and was a spin-off from a sketch on comedy program The Naked Vicar Show that had featured Ross Higgins as a blustering bigot...

) others should be wary of using what might still be received as a serious ethnic slur. The alternative term "New Australian" is becoming ridiculed, and never was the preferred term among ethnic groups. It may be used with permission between very good friends of differing ethnic backgrounds but is considered to be offensive term to use towards any other person or in a formal setting.

Indigenous Australians

Amongst Indigenous Australians, it can be taboo to refer to deceased Indigenous Australians by name, or through use of images. Individuals with the same names are then expected to change their name, as not to use the name of the deceased.

Within some Indigenous Australian cultures, it is considered taboo for mother-in-law and son-in-law to interact on any level, this includes being within the same building or room at any time.

In some cases, within Indigenous Australian cultures, it is considered rude or threatening to look another individual in the eye when interacting.

General

When visiting someone's home for the first time, ask if you should remove your shoes.
Queueing (getting in line) is polite in stores, post offices, banks, public transport stops and entertainment venues. It is rude to cut in ahead of others.
In stores, bars, pubs and restaurants use 'please' and 'thank you' frequently, e.g. when asking an assistant/server a question, when placing an order (e.g. 'two glasses of beer please'), or when offering or asking for an item to the assistant/server you wish to buy (i.e. "this/these please"). When being handed change say 'thank you' and when about to leave say 'thank you'.
Table manners are similar to the United Kingdom. Do not put your elbows on the table, do not burp, ask for shared food items to be passed to you if they are out of reach, etc.
Do not ask others what their income is and do not talk about your own.
Money, sex and religion are not suitable topics for conversation in public places including bars, pubs and restaurants.
Do not ask a newly introduced person overtly personal questions or disclose too many personal facts of your own. New Zealanders are reserved, modest people and prefer to learn about others over time.
Do not say or imply that the way your country does something is better than the way New Zealanders do it, especially if you only visiting. If you are pressed to comment on an issue be sure to make clear at the outset you understand you are "just a guest/visitor and this is only my humble opinion." New Zealanders would not openly criticise your country on your home soil unless invited to and in return do not expect you to criticise theirs on their home soil.
Do not criticise someone's home.
The majority of New Zealanders are an easy-going, relaxed people and do not appreciate aggressive, pushy, loud, impolite or arrogant people.
Relax, be polite, be modest, speak softly and you will get along fine.

Language

Be polite. Use 'please' and 'thank you' frequently.
You may hear people swearing in public but most New Zealanders think this is offensive and think less of the people doing it. Swear privately or with friends but not in public places.
Keep your voice down. Talking loudly so everyone can hear your conversation is bad manners.
Sheep related humour is likely to bring derision from the majority of New Zealanders, who see this stereotype at once cliché
Cliché
A cliché or cliche is an expression, idea, or element of an artistic work which has been overused to the point of losing its original meaning or effect, especially when at some earlier time it was considered meaningful or novel. In phraseology, the term has taken on a more technical meaning,...

d and offensive, and it should thus be avoided. Although in relaxed social situations a certain amount of banter will be engaged in, it is advisable to wait until you know people well, as in any culture, before engaging in such humour.
The term "dairy" refers to a convenience store
Convenience store
A convenience store, corner store, corner shop, commonly called a bodega in Spanish-speaking areas of the United States, is a small store or shop in a built up area that stocks a range of everyday items such as groceries, toiletries, alcoholic and soft drinks, and may also offer money order and...

, not a cow farm.
It is rude to try to get someone's attention by saying "Oi!" or whistling, especially in bars/pubs and restaurants.

Maori

Correct pronunciation of Māori words and place-names, and the word "Māori" itself, is often important to Māori, although usually less so to non-Māori.
It is incorrect to pluralise "Māori" by adding an "s", as the word is used in both the singular and plural.
While technically incorrect to use the word "māori" in referring to the Māori language
Maori language
Māori or te reo Māori , commonly te reo , is the language of the indigenous population of New Zealand, the Māori. It has the status of an official language in New Zealand...

, (it is more properly called te reo, "the language"), it is socially acceptable to use it for both the people and the spoken language.
Sitting on or resting one's backside against a table or desk can offend Māori. A table is where food is served and should not be touched by the “unclean” regions. Similarly, you should not sit on a pillow - the head is tapu (sacred), and pillows are for resting heads only.
Shoes should always be removed before entering a Māori sacred building, such as a marae
Marae
A marae malae , malae , is a communal or sacred place which serves religious and social purposes in Polynesian societies...

.

Driving

As many of New Zealand's roads, including state highways outside of metropolitan areas, can be winding and narrow (often both), it is polite when a vehicle (i.e. a truck and trailer, a caravan, or a generally slower vehicle) pulls left to allow you to pass to offer two brief toots of your vehicle's horn. Be cautious of using your horn within metropolitan areas for reasons other than as a "warning device" (as this is technically against the law, but rarely enforced), and do not sound just a single toot or any that are long-in-duration as this may send a message of unappreciation. Also, use discretion in taking up a passing opportunity offered in this way as road width and traffic volumes can be unpredictable.
The car horn is not used very often, only in emergency, or when extremely aggravated.

Tipping

Tipping is seen as a foreign custom and sometimes as patronising; service is included in what you pay for. It remains fairly rare even in the main centres and should never be considered compulsory. Some cafés have "tip jars" for loose change at the counter, but putting coins in the jar is the exception rather than the rule. It has long been customary to tell taxi drivers or food delivery people to "keep the change", although taxi drivers are equally likely to round a fare down.

With the exception of cafes, bars, restaurants, taxi drivers and food delivery people tipping is virtually non-existent. If staff request a tip it is considered grounds for complaint by the customer.

Shared expectations

General

Language

Public places

Bars and restaurants

Driving

General

Language

Tipping

Ethnic issues

Indigenous Australians

General

Language

Maori

Driving

Tipping

See also