Ernest T. Bass
Encyclopedia
Ernest T. Bass was a fictional character on the American
TV sitcom The Andy Griffith Show
. He was played by Howard Morris
.
Ernest T. was an ignorant and obstreperous mountain man
with a penchant for troublemaking, particularly vandalous rock throwing, which wreaked havoc on the otherwise sedentary town of Mayberry
. He lived in the mountain
s neighboring Mayberry, and his appearance in town almost invariably meant trouble for Sheriff Taylor
and Deputy Barney Fife
. A wild, belligerent hillbilly
, he had a scruffy, unkempt appearance, a maniacal laugh, and often spoke in rhyme
. When threatened with the law
, Ernest T. would generally run off, yelling over his shoulder his famous catchphrase, "You ain't seen the las' of Ernest T. Bass!" Another catchphrase came from his greeting to Andy and Barney, "Howdy do to you and you. It's me, it's me, it's Ernest T.!"
His behavior was summed up succinctly (and repeatedly) by Barney Fife: "He's a nut!"
Early on, Ernest T.'s most notable trait is breaking windows with rocks
, and he prided himself on being "the best rock thrower in the county." He is notoriously importunate with the women he desires, and regularly uses this tactic to get their attention. He also tries to impress people by informing them that he is saving up for a gold tooth
. In episode 98, "Ernest T. Bass Joins the Army", when asked where he planned on putting his gold tooth after the army doctor noticed he still had all of his own, Ernest replied that he planned to have his front teeth knocked out and place the one gold tooth in the middle with space on either side, claiming it would make him look good while he's dancing. In episode 131, "The Education of Ernest T. Bass", he finally gets his gold tooth, but in gold leaf
form covering one of his real front teeth.
In his first appearance (Episode #94, "Mountain Wedding"), Ernest T. has his mind set on marrying Briscoe Darling's daughter Charlene, despite the fact that she is already married to Dud Wash. He breaks the Darlings
' window in the middle of the night, and then attempts to serenade
Charlene by performing a sort of spoken-word
song called "Old Aunt Mariah," accompanied by drumming a gas
can, which he "tuned" by tightening and loosening the cap. The family then decides to conduct a faked wedding
, to which Ernest T. reacts by devising a nefarious plan to steal the bride
, only to discover that it was Barney in disguise
.
In Episode #133, "The Education of Ernest T. Bass", he tries to impress his love interest Ramona (whom he always calls "Romena") by getting an education. It is revealed that he cannot read or write, except for a few posted signs around town and in the hills. (This is somewhat contradictory to earlier episodes, in which he often throws rocks with written notes attached.) Ernest T. attends Helen Crump
's elementary school class
, where he quickly becomes a nuisance. After she smacks him with a ruler
for being disruptive, Ernest T. begins to bond with Miss Crump, calling her his "mother figure," in his signature drawl. Fed up, Helen decides—on Andy's advice—to graduate Ernest T., despite his insufficient education. She gives him his "diploma
," which is simply a certificate stating that he knows some arithmetic, can read and write some words, and knows the boundaries of the United States
. In a touching ceremony, she announces that Ernest T. Bass has received his diploma "for learning--... For learning."
Ernest T. Bass' final appearance was in Episode #164, "Malcolm at the Crossroads." He is fired as crossing guard
in favor of Malcolm Merriweather, played by Bernard Fox. When Bass first saw Malcolm on the job, he said, "Looks like a octopus
!"
Despite only appearing in five episodes during the series' entire run, Ernest T. Bass is one of The Andy Griffith Show
's best remembered characters, and remains a fan favorite. Morris, along with Griffith, Knotts, and many other cast members reprised his role in the 1986 TV movie Return to Mayberry
.
Ernest T. Bass' rock-throwing exploits are commemorated in the Natural Science sections of some museums and universities in the U.S. with "Ernest T. Bass Day," in which people who have stones they are unable to identify are encouraged to bring in for inspection. This usually takes place on April 1, when Bass is believed to have celebrated his birthday on the show.
Ernest T. Bass: My name's Ernest T. Bass, what's yers?
United States
The United States of America is a federal constitutional republic comprising fifty states and a federal district...
TV sitcom The Andy Griffith Show
The Andy Griffith Show
The Andy Griffith Show is an American sitcom first televised by CBS between October 3, 1960, and April 1, 1968. Andy Griffith portrays a widowed sheriff in the fictional small community of Mayberry, North Carolina...
. He was played by Howard Morris
Howard Morris
Howard Morris was an American comic actor and director who was best known for his role as Ernest T. Bass on The Andy Griffith Show.- Life and career :...
.
Ernest T. was an ignorant and obstreperous mountain man
Mountain man
Mountain men were trappers and explorers who roamed the North American Rocky Mountains from about 1810 through the 1880s where they were instrumental in opening up the various Emigrant Trails allowing Americans in the east to settle the new territories of the far west by organized wagon trains...
with a penchant for troublemaking, particularly vandalous rock throwing, which wreaked havoc on the otherwise sedentary town of Mayberry
Mayberry
Mayberry is a fictional community in North Carolina that was the setting for two American television sitcoms, The Andy Griffith Show and Mayberry R.F.D. Mayberry was also the setting for a 1986 reunion television movie titled Return to Mayberry...
. He lived in the mountain
Mountain
Image:Himalaya_annotated.jpg|thumb|right|The Himalayan mountain range with Mount Everestrect 58 14 160 49 Chomo Lonzorect 200 28 335 52 Makalurect 378 24 566 45 Mount Everestrect 188 581 920 656 Tibetan Plateaurect 250 406 340 427 Rong River...
s neighboring Mayberry, and his appearance in town almost invariably meant trouble for Sheriff Taylor
Sheriff Andy Taylor
Sheriff Andrew "Andy" Jackson Taylor is the principal character on The Andy Griffith Show, an American sitcom which aired on CBS, . The character made a few appearances in the show's spinoff Mayberry R.F.D. and appeared in a reunion telemovie Return to Mayberry...
and Deputy Barney Fife
Barney Fife
Bernard "Barney" Fife is a fictional character in the American television program The Andy Griffith Show, portrayed by comic actor Don Knotts. Barney Fife is a deputy sheriff in the slow paced, sleepy southern community of Mayberry, North Carolina...
. A wild, belligerent hillbilly
Hillbilly
Hillbilly is a term referring to certain people who dwell in rural, mountainous areas of the United States, primarily Appalachia but also the Ozarks. Owing to its strongly stereotypical connotations, the term is frequently considered derogatory, and so is usually offensive to those Americans of...
, he had a scruffy, unkempt appearance, a maniacal laugh, and often spoke in rhyme
Rhyme
A rhyme is a repetition of similar sounds in two or more words and is most often used in poetry and songs. The word "rhyme" may also refer to a short poem, such as a rhyming couplet or other brief rhyming poem such as nursery rhymes.-Etymology:...
. When threatened with the law
Police
The police is a personification of the state designated to put in practice the enforced law, protect property and reduce civil disorder in civilian matters. Their powers include the legitimized use of force...
, Ernest T. would generally run off, yelling over his shoulder his famous catchphrase, "You ain't seen the las' of Ernest T. Bass!" Another catchphrase came from his greeting to Andy and Barney, "Howdy do to you and you. It's me, it's me, it's Ernest T.!"
His behavior was summed up succinctly (and repeatedly) by Barney Fife: "He's a nut!"
Early on, Ernest T.'s most notable trait is breaking windows with rocks
Rock (geology)
In geology, rock or stone is a naturally occurring solid aggregate of minerals and/or mineraloids.The Earth's outer solid layer, the lithosphere, is made of rock. In general rocks are of three types, namely, igneous, sedimentary, and metamorphic...
, and he prided himself on being "the best rock thrower in the county." He is notoriously importunate with the women he desires, and regularly uses this tactic to get their attention. He also tries to impress people by informing them that he is saving up for a gold tooth
Gold teeth
Gold teeth are a form of dental prosthesis. They are sometimes used for cosmetic purposes.-Dental restoration:Dentists have used gold for filling cavities , for crowns, and for other purposes. Gold is malleable, nearly immune to corrosion, and hard enough to form a biting surface that can be used...
. In episode 98, "Ernest T. Bass Joins the Army", when asked where he planned on putting his gold tooth after the army doctor noticed he still had all of his own, Ernest replied that he planned to have his front teeth knocked out and place the one gold tooth in the middle with space on either side, claiming it would make him look good while he's dancing. In episode 131, "The Education of Ernest T. Bass", he finally gets his gold tooth, but in gold leaf
Gold leaf
right|thumb|250px|[[Burnishing]] gold leaf with an [[agate]] stone tool, during the water gilding processGold leaf is gold that has been hammered into extremely thin sheets and is often used for gilding. Gold leaf is available in a wide variety of karats and shades...
form covering one of his real front teeth.
In his first appearance (Episode #94, "Mountain Wedding"), Ernest T. has his mind set on marrying Briscoe Darling's daughter Charlene, despite the fact that she is already married to Dud Wash. He breaks the Darlings
The Darlings
The Darlings were a fictional family of musically-inclined hillbillies in the American TV sitcom The Andy Griffith Show.The Darlings lived in a mountain shack somewhere in the mountains neighboring Mayberry...
' window in the middle of the night, and then attempts to serenade
Serenade
In music, a serenade is a musical composition, and/or performance, in someone's honor. Serenades are typically calm, light music.The word Serenade is derived from the Italian word sereno, which means calm....
Charlene by performing a sort of spoken-word
Sprechgesang
Sprechgesang and Sprechstimme are musical terms used to refer to an expressionist vocal technique between singing and speaking. Though sometimes used interchangeably, sprechgesang is a term directly related to the operatic recitative manner of singing , whereas sprechstimme is...
song called "Old Aunt Mariah," accompanied by drumming a gas
Gasoline
Gasoline , or petrol , is a toxic, translucent, petroleum-derived liquid that is primarily used as a fuel in internal combustion engines. It consists mostly of organic compounds obtained by the fractional distillation of petroleum, enhanced with a variety of additives. Some gasolines also contain...
can, which he "tuned" by tightening and loosening the cap. The family then decides to conduct a faked wedding
Wedding
A wedding is the ceremony in which two people are united in marriage or a similar institution. Wedding traditions and customs vary greatly between cultures, ethnic groups, religions, countries, and social classes...
, to which Ernest T. reacts by devising a nefarious plan to steal the bride
Bride
A bride is a woman about to be married or newlywed.The word may come from the Proto-Germanic verb root *brū-, meaning 'to cook, brew, or make a broth' which was the role of the daughter-in-law in primitive families...
, only to discover that it was Barney in disguise
Disguise
A disguise can be anything which conceals or changes a person's physical appearance, including a wig, glasses, makeup, costume or other ways. Camouflage is one type of disguise for people, animals and objects...
.
In Episode #133, "The Education of Ernest T. Bass", he tries to impress his love interest Ramona (whom he always calls "Romena") by getting an education. It is revealed that he cannot read or write, except for a few posted signs around town and in the hills. (This is somewhat contradictory to earlier episodes, in which he often throws rocks with written notes attached.) Ernest T. attends Helen Crump
Helen Crump
Helen Crump is a fictional dramatic character on the American television program The Andy Griffith Show . Helen made her debut in the third season episode "Andy Discovers America" . Helen was a schoolteacher and became main character Sheriff Andy Taylor's girlfriend...
's elementary school class
Primary education
A primary school is an institution in which children receive the first stage of compulsory education known as primary or elementary education. Primary school is the preferred term in the United Kingdom and many Commonwealth Nations, and in most publications of the United Nations Educational,...
, where he quickly becomes a nuisance. After she smacks him with a ruler
Ruler
A ruler, sometimes called a rule or line gauge, is an instrument used in geometry, technical drawing, printing and engineering/building to measure distances and/or to rule straight lines...
for being disruptive, Ernest T. begins to bond with Miss Crump, calling her his "mother figure," in his signature drawl. Fed up, Helen decides—on Andy's advice—to graduate Ernest T., despite his insufficient education. She gives him his "diploma
Diploma
A diploma is a certificate or deed issued by an educational institution, such as a university, that testifies that the recipient has successfully completed a particular course of study or confers an academic degree. In countries such as the United Kingdom and Australia, the word diploma refers to...
," which is simply a certificate stating that he knows some arithmetic, can read and write some words, and knows the boundaries of the United States
United States
The United States of America is a federal constitutional republic comprising fifty states and a federal district...
. In a touching ceremony, she announces that Ernest T. Bass has received his diploma "for learning--... For learning."
Ernest T. Bass' final appearance was in Episode #164, "Malcolm at the Crossroads." He is fired as crossing guard
Crossing guard
A crossing guard , a school crossing patrol officer , school crossing supervisor or school road patrol is a traffic management specialist who is normally stationed on busy roadways to aid pedestrians...
in favor of Malcolm Merriweather, played by Bernard Fox. When Bass first saw Malcolm on the job, he said, "Looks like a octopus
Octopus
The octopus is a cephalopod mollusc of the order Octopoda. Octopuses have two eyes and four pairs of arms, and like other cephalopods they are bilaterally symmetric. An octopus has a hard beak, with its mouth at the center point of the arms...
!"
Despite only appearing in five episodes during the series' entire run, Ernest T. Bass is one of The Andy Griffith Show
The Andy Griffith Show
The Andy Griffith Show is an American sitcom first televised by CBS between October 3, 1960, and April 1, 1968. Andy Griffith portrays a widowed sheriff in the fictional small community of Mayberry, North Carolina...
's best remembered characters, and remains a fan favorite. Morris, along with Griffith, Knotts, and many other cast members reprised his role in the 1986 TV movie Return to Mayberry
Return to Mayberry
Return to Mayberry is an American television reunion movie for the 1960s American sitcoms The Andy Griffith Show and, to an extent, Mayberry R.F.D. as well. The movie premiered on April 13, 1986 on NBC, and was the highest-rated telemovie of 1986. Sixteen of the original cast members reunited for...
.
Ernest T. Bass' rock-throwing exploits are commemorated in the Natural Science sections of some museums and universities in the U.S. with "Ernest T. Bass Day," in which people who have stones they are unable to identify are encouraged to bring in for inspection. This usually takes place on April 1, when Bass is believed to have celebrated his birthday on the show.
Quotes
Ernest T. Bass: My name's Ernest T. Bass, what's yers?
- Sherriff Andy Taylor: I'm Sherriff Taylor, and I've been a lookin' for you.
- Ernest T.: I didn't do nothin'. Gotta go!
- Ernest T: It's me, it's me, it's Ernest T!
- Ernest T: How do you do, Missus Wiley?
- Ernest T: If a duck stood still you could catch him by the bill.
- Ernest T: I don't chew my cabbage twice. And you ain't heard the last of Ernest T. Bass!
- Ernest T: I'm a little mean, but I make up for it by bein' real healthy. Say you'll be mine. Say you'll be my belovded!
- Barney: (lifts up veil) I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man on earth!
- Ernest T: If I'd seen you coming, I'd have known what to do. I'd have rais'd both arms and woved at you!
- Ernest T: No hunt. Beware. Open and closed. No credit.
- Ernest T: No coffee, tea, or punch, thank you.
- Ernest T: I ain't talkin'. I ain't talkin'. The more you're askin' the more I'm balkin'.
- Ernest T: She called me a "creachture"—I ain't no "creachture"!!!
- Ernest T:What? I passed it—I didn't heave it!
- Charlene: Okay, Ernest T...Serenade away.
- Ernest T: Awright, listen... (He accompanies himself by slapping a large can.)
- Old Aunt Mariah, jump in the fi-ah,
- Fire too hot, jump in the pot,
- Pot too black, jump in the crack,
- Crack too high, jump in the sky,
- Sky too blue, jump in canoe,
- Canoe too shallow, jump in the tallow,
- Tallow too soft, jump in the loft,
- Loft too rotten, jump in the cotton,
- Cotton so white she stay there all night.
- Charlene: That's good, Ernest T.
- Ernest T: Wanna hear 'Eatin' Goober Peas'?
- Charlene: No!
- Ernest T(reflecting upon his time in the army): Hup two, three, four, clean your gun and get in the truck.
- Ernest T: I'm gonna get you! And I'm gonna get you, and you, and you, I'm gonna get you, and I'm gonna get your stick too!
- Ernest T:I see you but you can't see me pekabee its Ernest T.