Burglary (Bottom episode)
Encyclopedia
"Burglary" is the third episode of the second series of British
television
sitcom, Bottom
. It was first broadcast on the 15 October 1992.
for himself and Richie, but instead of going to the fish and chip shop, he went to the chemist
and spent the money on cheap Old Spice
, which he drank. While trying to find alcohol around the flat, Eddie drinks a bottle of bleach
, and passes out. Richie can't revive him, and so attaches a noose to his leg and hoists him upstairs to bed. Richie goes to his bedroom to indulge in some masturbation
.
A few seconds later, we hear a window smashing. Richie comes out of his bedroom and we hear more objects breaking downstairs. Richie wakes Eddie up. They spend a few minutes deciding what to do. Richie says that the burglars might be looking for drugs, so Eddie suggests throwing Lemsip
down the stairs for them. Eddie goes back into his bedroom and brings a service revolver
back out with him, and goes to shoot the lock off the hatch into the attic
, until Richie asks why they don't just use the key. There is no ladder, as it was confiscated by the police when some nurses moved in next door, so Richie has to climb on Eddies back to reach. Richie falls off Eddie's back, and down the stairs, landing on the burglar (played by Paul Bradley
, best known as Nigel Bates
in Eastenders
).
Richie and Eddie tie the burglar to a chair using Sellotape
, and try to interrogate him, although they don't really know how to go about doing this. Richie calls the police, but puts the phone down half way through when Eddie finds the burglar's bag, which is full of silverware. Richie tries ending the phone call by claiming that he has been sleep-telephoning again. They plan to sell the silver and make a new life in the Bahamas, and are walking out of the flat when they realise that some thing must be done with the burglar. Eddie suggests killing him by feeding him stale fish finger
s. They don't have any fish fingers, so Richie sends Eddie onto the roof to get some poisoned pigeon pellets. While outside, we see that a second burglar is on the outer wall of the flat. Eddie falls through the glass roof but gets some pellets, which Richie puts into one of the cups of tea he is making. They take the tea to the burglar but can't remember which cup contains the poison, especially as all the cups are the same colour, so, after Richie punishes Eddie by shoving a pencil up his nose, they force the burglar to drink all of them. The burglar promptly vomits. The police knock on the door.
Richie answers the door to the police while Eddie tries to hide the burglar. Richie claims that he telephoned the police in his sleep, and tries to close the door, but the police officers force their way past Richie into the flat. The police are suspicious about the state of the flat, but Richie says that he caused the mess by "sleep-vomiting". One of the officers approaches Eddie and asks "Do you realise that you have a pencil up your nose?" then Eddie says that he has been "sleep-doodling" again. The officer points out that his paper is upside down and Eddie then says "So are my eyes". The officers find the shattered glass and Richie says he has been "sleep-glazing" again. Richie then throws insults to the officers and says that he has just been "sleep-slanging" again. The officers leave, after hitting Richie on the head with a truncheon
for wasting police time. Eddie reveals that he had hidden the burglar by Sellotaping him to the ceiling. While they are attempting to get the burglar down by hitting him with a broom, the second burglar comes in through the window, and knocks Richie and Eddie unconscious with a club.
When Richie and Eddie wake up, they are stripped to their underwear. The room has been stripped bare except for two chairs that the pair are tied to. They have mouse traps positioned in front of their genitalia, and Eddie has a note attached to his knee. The episode ends when Eddie reads the note, which says "Sue Carpenter
". This drops their guard, causing the mousetraps to trigger. Despite losing all their belongings, it is assumed everything is recovered by the police and returned to them as future episodes show the flat the way it was before. It is also never mentioned again by anybody in future episodes if the police ever caught the burglars.
United Kingdom
The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern IrelandIn the United Kingdom and Dependencies, other languages have been officially recognised as legitimate autochthonous languages under the European Charter for Regional or Minority Languages...
television
Television
Television is a telecommunication medium for transmitting and receiving moving images that can be monochrome or colored, with accompanying sound...
sitcom, Bottom
Bottom (TV series)
Bottom was a British sitcom television series that originally aired on BBC2 between 1991 and 1995. It was written by comic duo Rik Mayall and Adrian Edmondson who star as Richie and Eddie, two flatmates living on the dole in Hammersmith, London...
. It was first broadcast on the 15 October 1992.
Plot
The episode begins with Eddie staggering drunkenly into the flat. He went out with £1.75 to buy a fish supperFish and chips
Fish and chips is a popular take-away food in the United Kingdom, Australia, New Zealand and Canada...
for himself and Richie, but instead of going to the fish and chip shop, he went to the chemist
Pharmacy
Pharmacy is the health profession that links the health sciences with the chemical sciences and it is charged with ensuring the safe and effective use of pharmaceutical drugs...
and spent the money on cheap Old Spice
Old Spice
Old Spice is a prominent American brand of male grooming products. It is manufactured by Procter & Gamble, which acquired the brand in 1990 from the Shulton Company.-History:...
, which he drank. While trying to find alcohol around the flat, Eddie drinks a bottle of bleach
Bleach
Bleach refers to a number of chemicals that remove color, whiten, or disinfect, often via oxidation. Common chemical bleaches include household chlorine bleach , lye, oxygen bleach , and bleaching powder...
, and passes out. Richie can't revive him, and so attaches a noose to his leg and hoists him upstairs to bed. Richie goes to his bedroom to indulge in some masturbation
Masturbation
Masturbation refers to sexual stimulation of a person's own genitals, usually to the point of orgasm. The stimulation can be performed manually, by use of objects or tools, or by some combination of these methods. Masturbation is a common form of autoeroticism...
.
A few seconds later, we hear a window smashing. Richie comes out of his bedroom and we hear more objects breaking downstairs. Richie wakes Eddie up. They spend a few minutes deciding what to do. Richie says that the burglars might be looking for drugs, so Eddie suggests throwing Lemsip
Lemsip
Lemsip is a brand of cold and flu remedies in Ireland, the United Kingdom, Australia and New Zealand. It is manufactured by Reckitt Benckiser...
down the stairs for them. Eddie goes back into his bedroom and brings a service revolver
Service pistol
A service pistol is any handgun issued to military personnel.Typically service pistols are revolvers or semi-automatic pistols issued to officers, non-commissioned officers and rear-echelon support personnel for self defense, though service pistols may also be issued to special forces as a backup...
back out with him, and goes to shoot the lock off the hatch into the attic
Attic
An attic is a space found directly below the pitched roof of a house or other building . Attic is generally the American/Canadian reference to it...
, until Richie asks why they don't just use the key. There is no ladder, as it was confiscated by the police when some nurses moved in next door, so Richie has to climb on Eddies back to reach. Richie falls off Eddie's back, and down the stairs, landing on the burglar (played by Paul Bradley
Paul Bradley (actor)
Paul Bradley is an English actor. He is best known for playing Nigel Bates in the BBC1 soap opera EastEnders from 1992 to 1998 and Elliot Hope in the BBC medical drama series Holby City since 2005....
, best known as Nigel Bates
Nigel Bates
Nigel Bates is a fictional character from the BBC soap opera EastEnders, played by Paul Bradley from 1992 to 1998. Introduced in 1992 by Leonard Lewis, the character was incorporated gradually and brought back as a regular following a brief stint due to a popular reception. He was depicted as a...
in Eastenders
EastEnders
EastEnders is a British television soap opera, first broadcast in the United Kingdom on BBC One on 19 February 1985 and continuing to today. EastEnders storylines examine the domestic and professional lives of the people who live and work in the fictional London Borough of Walford in the East End...
).
Richie and Eddie tie the burglar to a chair using Sellotape
Sellotape
Sellotape is a British brand of transparent, cellulose-based, pressure sensitive adhesive tape, and is the leading brand of clear, pressure sensitive tape in the United Kingdom. Sellotape is generally used for joining, sealing, attaching and mending...
, and try to interrogate him, although they don't really know how to go about doing this. Richie calls the police, but puts the phone down half way through when Eddie finds the burglar's bag, which is full of silverware. Richie tries ending the phone call by claiming that he has been sleep-telephoning again. They plan to sell the silver and make a new life in the Bahamas, and are walking out of the flat when they realise that some thing must be done with the burglar. Eddie suggests killing him by feeding him stale fish finger
Fish finger
Fish fingers, known as fish sticks in North America, are a processed food made using a whitefish such as cod, haddock or pollock which have been battered or breaded....
s. They don't have any fish fingers, so Richie sends Eddie onto the roof to get some poisoned pigeon pellets. While outside, we see that a second burglar is on the outer wall of the flat. Eddie falls through the glass roof but gets some pellets, which Richie puts into one of the cups of tea he is making. They take the tea to the burglar but can't remember which cup contains the poison, especially as all the cups are the same colour, so, after Richie punishes Eddie by shoving a pencil up his nose, they force the burglar to drink all of them. The burglar promptly vomits. The police knock on the door.
Richie answers the door to the police while Eddie tries to hide the burglar. Richie claims that he telephoned the police in his sleep, and tries to close the door, but the police officers force their way past Richie into the flat. The police are suspicious about the state of the flat, but Richie says that he caused the mess by "sleep-vomiting". One of the officers approaches Eddie and asks "Do you realise that you have a pencil up your nose?" then Eddie says that he has been "sleep-doodling" again. The officer points out that his paper is upside down and Eddie then says "So are my eyes". The officers find the shattered glass and Richie says he has been "sleep-glazing" again. Richie then throws insults to the officers and says that he has just been "sleep-slanging" again. The officers leave, after hitting Richie on the head with a truncheon
Club (weapon)
A club is among the simplest of all weapons. A club is essentially a short staff, or stick, usually made of wood, and wielded as a weapon since prehistoric times....
for wasting police time. Eddie reveals that he had hidden the burglar by Sellotaping him to the ceiling. While they are attempting to get the burglar down by hitting him with a broom, the second burglar comes in through the window, and knocks Richie and Eddie unconscious with a club.
When Richie and Eddie wake up, they are stripped to their underwear. The room has been stripped bare except for two chairs that the pair are tied to. They have mouse traps positioned in front of their genitalia, and Eddie has a note attached to his knee. The episode ends when Eddie reads the note, which says "Sue Carpenter
Sue Carpenter
Sue Carpenter is a former United Kingdom newsreader and television presenter. Born on 17 May 1956, she graduated in English Literature at King's College London in 1977....
". This drops their guard, causing the mousetraps to trigger. Despite losing all their belongings, it is assumed everything is recovered by the police and returned to them as future episodes show the flat the way it was before. It is also never mentioned again by anybody in future episodes if the police ever caught the burglars.