Directed by John Schlesinger and written by William Goldman, based on his novel of the same name.

Dr. Christian Szell

• I envy you your school days. Enjoy them fully. It's the last time in your life no one expects anything of you.

• Oh, don't worry. I'm not going into that cavity. That nerve's already dying. A live, freshly-cut nerve is infinitely more sensitive. So I'll just drill into a healthy tooth until I reach the pulp. That is unless, of course, you can tell me that it's safe.

• You're weak. Your father was weak in his way. Your brother in his and now you in yours.

• Thus far I find you rather repulsive, may I say that without hurting your feelings?

Others

• Henry David 'Doc' Levy: [to Babe] Do you ever clean this armpit of a place? How can you live like this?

• Peter Janeway: [referring to the Agency] Everything we do cuts both ways!

• Professor Biesenthal: Well, you four have the dubious honor of having been picked from over two hundred applicants for this seminar. Well, let me just say this. There's a shortage of natural resources. There's a shortage of breathable air, there's even a shortage of adequate claret. But there is no shortage of historians. We grind you out like link sausages. That's called progress. Manufacturing doctorates is called progress. Well, I say, "Let us hush this cry of progress until ten thousand years have passed." That's a quote. Who said that? Come on, who said that? [none of the students answer] Tennyson! Alfred, Lord Tennyson. My God, but you can't compete on a doctoral level and not know "Locksley Hall" and "Locksley Hall 60 Years Later"! I hope you all flunk. Dismissed.

Dialogue

Babe: Look, I'm sorry I stole your book.

Elsa: What?

Babe: I took your book and put it underneath mine. I, I didn't know how to talk to you, I was embarrassed, so I took your book.

Elsa: Aren't you embarrassed now?

Babe: Yeah. I'm, I'm humiliated.

Elsa: So, why do you pursue people who sit at your library table?

Babe: I don't. It's just that... you're pretty.

Elsa: Ohh!

[She smiles and turns to walk away from him]

Babe: Well, I can't talk about how smart you are; I don't even know you. Anyway, I'm done lying with you.

Elsa: Are you always so incompetent with women?

Babe: Oh, yes. Today's way above average for me.

Elsa: Congratulations.

[She is still smiling as she unlocks her door to leave him]

Elsa: Good night.

Babe: That's too bad. I could make you so happy. I'm smart as a whip; you won't meet another thief like me in the library again. Come on; why don't you say you'll see me, huh?

Elsa: All right. I'll see you again. But it won't come to anything.

Babe: You can't tell.

Elsa: [wistfully] Yes, I can.

[She shuts her door in his face]

Janeway: Szell's brother's been killed in Manhattan. A collision with an oil truck.

Doc: Oh, boy. Any changes?

Janeway: Only everything.

Doc: [in a fancy restaurant] How could you forget to wear a tie?

Babe: I didn't forget it. Who wears a tie when they eat lunch?

Doc: [to Elsa] Well, at least his fly is buttoned!

Szell: Is it safe?

Babe: You're talking to me?

Szell: Is it safe?

Babe: Is what safe?

Szell: Is it safe?

Babe: I don't know what you mean. I can't tell you something's safe or not, unless I know specifically what you're talking about.

Szell: Is it safe?

Babe: Tell me what the "it" refers to.

Szell: Is it safe?

Babe: Yes, it's safe, it's very safe, it's so safe you wouldn't believe it.

Szell: Is it safe?

Babe: No. It's not safe, it's... very dangerous, be careful.

• Note: the line, "Is it safe?" is ranked #70 in the American Film Institute's list of the top 100 movie quotations in American cinema.

Janeway: My name's Peter Janeway. But you can call me, Janey, all of my friends do.

Babe: I'm not your friend.

Janeway: In 1945, Szell let it be known around Auschwitz he could provide escape for anybody who could pay the price. He started out with gold naturally, but very quickly worked his way up to diamonds.

Babe: Why did you say "naturally" when you said he started with gold?

Janeway: Szell knocked it out of the Jews' teeth before he burned them. Szell was a dentist.

Janeway: Listen, why don't we begin with what happened tonight, hmm? Perhaps you could... you know, give me some of the details.

Babe: I was here, Doc... died, you came.

Janeway: That's it?

Babe: I'm a demon for details.

Janeway: [Referring to his dead brother] What did he do?

Babe: He was in the oil business.

Janeway: I know exactly how Doc made his living, and the closest he ever came to the oil business was when he filled up at the friendly neighborhood gas station.

Janeway: I don't think he knows anything. And I think he knows too much.

Szell: You can afford to think what you wish. I can't.

Babe: Listen, I want you to rob my apartment.

Melendez: [laughs] Why?

Babe: There are some guys out there after me, I got a gun in my desk drawer, and I want you to get me some clothes.

Melendez: What's in there for me, man?

Babe: I got a TV set, I got a hi-fi, you can take it all. Do it.

Melendez: What's the catch?

Babe: The catch is it's dangerous. Please do it.

Melendez: That ain't the catch. It's the fun.

Szell: I was in a state of hysteria, you know. [referring to the open suitcase filled with diamonds] Don't you want to take a closer look than that?

Babe: No!

Szell: You see, uh, in a sense, one becomes more emotional with age. First, after a lifetime of being taken by friends and enemies alike, and then just when you think you have your possessions sure, your health begins to go. [laughs] Of course, that's the ultimate theft!

Szell: Well, what are you going to do now, shoot me?

Babe: No, I don't think so.

Szell: Then you're going to take these from me? [gestures to the diamonds] If I could say a word about that...

Babe: No, you can keep them. You can keep as many as you can swallow.

Cast

• Dustin Hoffman - Thomas 'Babe' Levy
• Laurence Olivier - Dr. Christian Szell
• Roy Scheider - Henry David 'Doc' Levy
• William Devane - Peter Janeway
• Marthe Keller - Elsa Opel
• Tito Goya - Melendez