author and public speaker. He chronicles his drunken and sexual encounters in the form of short stories
on his website TuckerMax.com, which has received millions of visitors since Max launched it for a bet in 2002, making him an Internet celebrity.
Max's book I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell
became a New York Times #1 bestseller
and has made the Best Seller List
each year from 2006 to 2011.
Redheadedcalin doll: Doll comes with an innocent smile. Pull her string and doesn't speak, she just opens her legs.
I gave her an unmistakable "I want to fuck you" look, she shot me back a quick "My spine hurts" face, and I was smitten.
EEK EEK EEK!! That's dolphin for 'I'm sorry.' But you already knew that..
Hey man, so can you speak to dolphins and pilot whales with that forehead of yours?
Tucker "You guys going to Milwaukee?"
Guy "Yes sir, heading home after a vacation."
Tucker "Did you know there are midgets in Milwaukee?"
The man and his wife are silent and confused.
Tucker "HUNDREDS OF THEM!"
Nose full of fart, mouth full of cock, she never even paused.
I'm sorry, but I stand by my decision. I am now a member of the elite club of people that have fought a professional team mascot. You sir, are not in that club.
You ever wake up in the middle of the night because a couple of cats are clawing each other to death outside your window? That's what it's like listening to you speak.
What are you looking for, McSeaBass? Its been the same menu for 40 years. Its all McShit. Just fucking order!