The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Tertiary to Quintessential Phases
Encyclopedia
The Tertiary Phase, Quandary Phase and Quintessential Phase are radio adaptations of the books Life, the Universe and Everything
, So Long, and Thanks For All the Fish
and Mostly Harmless
produced in 2003 and 2004 by Above the Title Productions
for BBC Radio 4
. These are continuations of Douglas Adams
's The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
radio series, consisting of a total of fourteen episodes. They were preceded by the Primary and Secondary Phases
. For more on the history of all five series, please see The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (radio series)
.
, ran on BBC Radio 4
from Tuesday September 21 to October 26, 2004, with repeats on the following Thursdays. Episodes were subtitled Fits the Thirteenth through Eighteenth. The third novel was adapted by Dirk Maggs
, John Langdon and Bruce Hyman following instructions left by Adams. Most of the original radio series cast returned, with the exception of three, due to their deaths. Richard Vernon
(died 1997) as Slartibartfast, replaced by Richard Griffiths
, Peter Jones
(died 2000), replaced by his friend William Franklyn
; some brief excerpts from Jones's original narration were also used in the first episode, disguised as the Book's speech-generation system changing as part of updates to the Guide from the publisher. A third absent cast member was David Tate (died 1996), who played a multitude of minor roles in the two original radio series including Eddie, the Heart of Gold's computer. Bill Wallis
, who played the roles of Mr Prosser and Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz in the original series, was not available. Toby Longworth
took the role of Jeltz in the new series. On the other hand, John Marsh
, who was the original series' continuity announcer, returned to announce the credits. There was even a cameo role by Adams himself as Agrajag, edited from his BBC audiobook recording of the novel.
The original novel was based on a treatment that Adams wrote for an unmade Doctor Who
movie, Doctor Who and the Krikketmen. The idea was re-proposed during Tom Baker
's tenure in the title role, and again for a potential (but unmade) second television series of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
.
Before the final episode was broadcast, BBC Worldwide
released the Tertiary Phase on CD
, including additional material. A DVD of the series was released on 2 October 2006 in the UK. This marks the first commercial release of any BBC radio programme in a 5.1 surround mix. The disc contains as extras: the full version of the Krikket Song, a photogallery, the original online and radio trailers, the appearance of the series on Pick of the Week, and thirty minutes of behind the scenes video in five short segments. Note that while the BBC online shop is still listing the disc as a DVD-Audio
disc, their own image confirms that the disc is a lower-definition standard DVD-Video. ISBN 0-563-50457-9.
Since the opening of the third book starts at the same place and time (prehistoric Earth) as the opening of the second radio series, the entire Secondary Phase was dismissed as one of Zaphod's "psychotic episodes" (including events that did take place in the books). Hints, however, were interspersed in the subsequent fourth and fifth series that would ultimately tie all five together. The UK edition of the novel was used for the adaptation - this becomes evident in Fit the Sixteenth, when the "Rory" award is said to be given for the Most Gratuitous Use Of The Word Fuck
In A Serious Screenplay. The US edition of the same novel substituted "Belgium" for "fuck," as well as the explanation for why the former word is considered to be devastatingly rude in the rest of the galaxy, which is drawn from Fit the Tenth of the Secondary Phase. The broadcast version avoids saying "fuck" on radio by well-timed crashes and explosions — the CD version moves these so that the "fuck" is audible.
Arthur wakes up in a cave on pre-historic Earth (thus ignoring the events of the Secondary Phase), on the day, four years after he last saw Ford Prefect
, that Ford arrives back. Ford carries news that he has detected disturbances in the "space-time wash", and that they might be able to escape. The disturbance turns out to be an old sofa, which materialises in a field. They chase the sofa as it runs off, and then are transported elsewhere.
Zaphod and Trillian are on the Heart of Gold, without Marvin. Zaphod is extremely hungover, and upset that Trillian is dismissing the events of The Secondary Phase as a "psychotic episode". Trillian wishes to do something and is getting increasingly annoyed at Zaphod. After preparing a fabulous meal, and Zaphod still refusing to come out of the bathroom, she teleports away, telling the ship to "transport me the hell out of Zaphod Beeblebrox's life."
Meanwhile, Marvin is on a swamp on Sqornshellous Zeta, conversing with the native life-forms, mattresses. He is circling around and around on one leg, while his artificial (i.e. replacement) leg is stuck in the swamp.
Arthur and Ford arrive at Lord's Cricket Ground
on the sofa that they had caught in the previous episode. They have arrived in the final Test Match
in the Ashes
, in the middle of the field. A policeman apprehends them, and they retire to the pavilion.
Watching the match, Arthur drinks some tea and glances upon a newspaper. He notices the date on the newspaper, and realises that it was from the day before the Earth was demolished. A ball lands in Arthur's bag, and when the fielder comes to collect it, Arthur decides to keep it.
With the planet about to be demolished again, they then look for another lift from the planet. They discover a spaceship, hidden by a "Somebody Else's Problem field", hidden behind a screen.
The game finishes, with England winning the Ashes, and Slartibartfast joins Arthur and Ford. Slartibartfast explains that he has arrived because "something terrible is about to happen". He walks to the centre of the cricket pitch, and asks to be given the Ashes saying that they are "vitally important for the past, present and future safety of the Galaxy".
Another spaceship arrives. Eleven white robots, carrying bats and balls, and wearing rocket pads on their shins (dressed like cricketers), come suddenly out, and start attacking the spectators and players with their grenades. They take the Ashes, say "we declare", and go back into their ship. Ford and Arthur catch a lift with Slartibartfast on his ship.
Meanwhile, Marvin is once again making conversation with a mattress. A similar ship to before arrives, and white robots get out and take Marvin's one remaining leg. After a brief while, they return and decide to take all of Marvin instead.
Slartibartfast shows Ford and Arthur an Informational Illusion about the Krikkit Wars and the Wikkit Gate, and that the game of cricket
on Earth is a "racial memory" of the Wars. Investigating further, they discover that the Krikkitmen, a previously peaceful people, built their first spaceship in a year, after a spaceship landed on their planet. The planet and its sun had been previously obscured in a dust cloud that left the Krikketmen unaware of the existence or even possibility of existence of stars. It is considered remarkable that they constructed a working ship in just a year. After they saw the rest of the universe existed, they decided to annihilate it.
Meanwhile, on the Heart of Gold, Zaphod Beeblebrox hears the noise of thousands of people saying "Wop". He intercepts them on the bridge, where he is told they want the "Golden Bail", the ship's Infinite Improbability Drive. They take it, shoot him, and leave.
Back on Slartibartfast's ship, Ford and Arthur watch the Krikkit War Crimes Trial, presided over by Judiciary Pag. Pag's sentence is that Krikkit will be locked in an envelope of "Slo-Time", until the universe has ended, when it will be released, thus saving the universe from attack from Krikkit, and allowing Krikkit to exist in isolation after the end of the universe. However, a Krikkit ship escaped.
Slartibartfast notes that parts of the key to the Wikkit Gate, sealing the envelope of Slo-Time, have been re-appearing. After a failed attempt to recover the Wooden Pillar (the Ashes), Slartibartfast plans to go to a party, to locate the Silver Bail. Ford disagrees with this objective but agrees with the concept of going to a party. They teleport from the ship.
Arthur does not materialise with Ford and Slartibartfast, but elsewhere, in a gloomy room, with signs such as "DO NOT BE ALARMED. BE VERY VERY FRIGHTENED, ARTHUR DENT". The episode ends on a cliff-hanger, with the previously unintroduced character of Agrajag saying "Bet you weren't expecting to see me again."
The episode includes several Guide interludes, notably the story of Lallafa the poet, and a description of Brockian Ultra-Cricket.
The episode begins with Arthur, who has been "diverted" by Agrajag, who claims that Arthur has killed previous incarnations of him hundreds of times. He also claims to have been the bowl of petunia
s that materialised into existence in Fit the Third. Eventually it transpires one of the deaths was at Stavromula Beta, where someone tried to assassinate Arthur, and he ducked, hitting Agrajag. Arthur however has never been there. Agrajag cries "I've brought you here too zarking soon", but decides to attempt to kill Arthur anyway.
Arthur and Agrajag struggle, and Agrajag dies. Arthur escapes from the Cathedral of Hate, to which he had been diverted, by running into a passageway in the mountain. He notes that he has somehow ended up with the wrong bag - one he lost on Earth many years ago. He trips, and falls, only to discover that he is flying. He experiments with flying for a while, only to be hit in the small of the back by the party which Ford and Slartibartfast are attempting to enter.
The party is flying as well, and Ford and Slartibartfast are on a ledge around the building, not being permitted entry due to the lack of a bottle. Arthur remembers that his bag contains a bottle of Retsina
, and this gets them entry. They see Trillian
and Thor at the party, where Thor is chatting Trillian up.
They quiz people trying to find the Silver Bail, and discover that it has been instantiated as an award (a Rory) for the Most Gratuitous Use Of The Word Fuck In A Serious Screenplay. Before they are actually able to find it, the Krikkit robots appear, massacre the party-goers and take the Silver Bail.
Arthur tricks Thor into walking out of the building by challenge him into a fight, leaving Trillian with no choice but to come with them. The Krikkitmen now have all the parts of the Wikkit Key, and Slartibartfast notes that their next move must be to go to the Wikkit Gate itself and try to intervene.
The episode opens with a Guide entry about the Silastic Armorfiends, a very aggressive species, who apparently were the first race ever to shock a computer, by asking it (Hactar) to design the "Ultimate Weapon". Hactar designed one, a small bomb which would destroy every sun in the universe by connecting them in hyperspace. However, it turned out to be a dud, because Hactar had decided that any possible consequence of making it a dud would be better than it actually being used. The Silastic Armorfiends were unimpressed with this and destroyed Hactar, and later themselves.
They arrive at the asteroid, but too late to do anything but watch. The Krikkit robots place the key into the Wikkit Gate, revealing Krikkit. As the robots from the escaped Krikkit ship leave their ship, they notice that Zaphod Beeblebrox is with them, who gets knocked out by the Krikkitmen, who then proceed to actually destroy the lock. Zaphod explains that they had brought him on their ship, but had not killed him, but not for any obvious reason.
Zaphod comes with the others on Slartibartfast's ship, where Slartibartfast announces that they have no choice but to go down to the surface of Krikkit. Arthur had recovered two items - the Golden Bail, in order to allow the Heart of Gold to work once more, and more importantly, the Ashes
of the Wooden Pillar. Zaphod returns to the Heart of Gold, and asks Trillian whether she wishes to come with him - she declines.
Arthur, Ford, Trillian and Slartibartfast finally land on Krikkit, where they notice that there are hundreds of floating buildings and warships above the surface. They are soon apprehended by some Krikkitmen, who ask them if they are aliens. The Krikkitmen ask them about the "balance of nature
". They express concern that the plan of universal destruction would upset the balance of nature, and also would stop them from having sporting links with the rest of the Galaxy.
The leader of the group, in private, explains to Trillian they have a bomb, that can destroy everything that exists, and cries about this. Trillian asks him to "take me to your leader, up there", in the sky.
Meanwhile, the others notice that the Heart of Gold is visible in the war zones above the planet. Zaphod sneaks into one of the floating buildings, where he finds the original starship that crash-landed on Krikkit. He dismisses it instantly as a fake. He later overhears a conversation between two Krikkit officers, and that apparently the robots are getting depressed and do fiendishly difficult quadratic equations instead of fighting. The episode ends with Zaphod over-hearing Marvin sing a depressing song.
Ford, Arthur and Slartibartfast are on the surface of Krikkit, prisoners of the Krikkit-men, and waiting for Trillian to get back, or for Zaphod to do something.
Zaphod has discovered Marvin, who since he was stolen by the Krikkit robots, has been plugged into the Krikkit mainframe and is being used as its central computer, hence depressing the robots, and making them unable to kill Zaphod. Marvin shows Zaphod CCTV of Trillian talking to the Elders of Krikkit.
Trillian is explaining that Krikkit's history is a sequence of contrived coincidences that was set up in order to provoke a race into wanting to destroy the universe. She points out their ultimate weapon, the supernova bomb, would destroy Krikkit as well, and that they ought to know that if they'd built it themselves instead of taking instructions from Hactar. A robot (independent from Marvin) detonates the bomb, only for it to turn out to be a dud.
Arthur, Ford, Marvin, Slartibartfast, Trillian and Zaphod all return to the Heart of Gold, just outside the dust cloud. A pocket of pseudo-gravity has opened with an oxygen atmosphere, and Arthur and Trillian exit the airlock into it.
There, they meet Hactar, who explains that when the Silastic Armorfiends tried to destroy him, they failed, and because of his cellular nature, he was eventually able to coalesce sufficiently to influence things. In the long years he grew to regret his decision to make the bomb a dud. He created the dust cloud around Krikkit and also the fake wrecked spacecraft that provoked them to develop spaceflight. He knows they are going to destroy them, and they do. His final words are "I have fulfilled my function..."
They have in the mean-time picked up a man named Prak, who was a witness at a trial when the Krikkit robots broke in and stole the Perspex Pillar. The robots jogged the arm of the person administering him truth drugs, and he took a huge overdose. He was then told to tell "the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth" - a horrifying fate. The court-house was abandoned, with him in place.
He has apparently stopped telling it ("there not nearly as much of it as people imagine"), but is still finding much of it, particularly frogs and Arthur Dent, hilarious. They ask him if he knows the Question to the Ultimate Answer of 42. He explains that knowledge of the Question and the Answer are mutually exclusive and that if both were to be known the universe would be replaced by something more bizarre and inexplicable. However, he does have the address of God's Last Message to his Creation, which he gives to them, but before Arthur is able to take down the address, Prak dies.
After this, they return to Lord's Cricket Ground, on Earth, after the Krikkit robot attack, to return the Ashes. In the destruction, Arthur is unable to find anyone to return the Ashes to. He notes that he is at Lord's, and one of his ambitions was always to bowl at Lord's. He still has the ball he caught last time he was there, he decides to bowl the ball at the batsman standing at the wicket.
Mid-run, Ford points out that "it's not an England batsman, it's a Krikkit robot", and that the ball is probably a supernova bomb, and not a dud. He is unable however to stop running and bowls anyway. It goes wide, and Ford catches the ball, the universe being saved by Arthur's poor bowling. Arthur decapitates the robot with its own bat, and then expresses his desire for a cup of tea.
and Mostly Harmless
respectively follow. The names for these series were chosen because they sound "less daunting, more memorable and are a bit easier to spell," than the standard terms quaternary
and quinary
.
While these were treated as the fourth and fifth Hitchhiker's Guide radio series, they were broadcast in one eight-week stretch in May and June 2005. The tradition of "Fits" continues; these were known as Fit the Nineteenth through Fit the Twenty-Sixth. The manner of broadcasting these episodes carries over from the Tertiary Phase: the original broadcast was on Tuesday, with a Thursday repeat (with the exception of Fit the Nineteenth, which was not repeated due to election coverage). After the initial Tuesday broadcast, audio streams of the episode were available until the following Tuesday (which is a slight change from the Tertiary phase, where streaming audio was only available between Thursday evening repeats). For these final phases, the core cast (Simon Jones, Geoffrey McGivern, Mark Wing-Davey, Susan Sheridan and Stephen Moore) returned, along with William Franklyn as the new voice of The Book (assisted by Rula Lenska). In addition, David Dixon, Sandra Dickinson, Bill Paterson, Roy Hudd and Jonathan Pryce, who had roles in the TV adaptation or the original radio series, all returned, though Dixon and Paterson both play new roles.
The "Quandary Phase" was released in a 2-CD set in late May 2005. The CDs contain material not present in the original transmissions, due to time constraints. The enclosed booklet contains notes from Dirk Maggs, Simon Jones, Bruce Hyman and Helen Chattwell. A 2-CD release of the "Quintessential Phase" was released in mid-June 2005, with similar material left out of the original transmissions, and notes in the booklet by the same four individuals.
Arthur discovers that the entry for "Earth" in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, which formerly had been edited down to "Mostly Harmless," has been replaced, with Ford's original full version. They head towards Earth independently, Arthur arriving first. After landing in a field in Somerset, Arthur tries to hike a lift to Cottington, to see if his house still exists. Along the way, he meets Rob McKenna, a man who complains about the rain, before realising he has hitched a lift the wrong way. He gets out, and gets a lift with Russell, whose sister, Fenchurch, is out cold on a back seat of the car. Arthur is instantly smitten, and asks about her. Russell claims that she is mad, and has been ever since "the hallucinations" — the Vogon Constructor Fleet.
On the Constructor Fleet, a junior crew member notices that Earth has re-appeared. He is overridden by the captain, Jeltz, who declares that he saw it destroyed himself.
Meanwhile, Ford is stuck in a bar with a large bill, which he avoids paying by promising to write an entry for the bar in the Guide. On the streets, he is asked by a hooker whether he is "rich", and says that he might be — being owed several years back pay for writing two words. He shows the two words — "Mostly Harmless" — to the hooker, and is shocked to see the guide updating this to his full entry. He decides to go to Earth himself.
Arthur arrives at his house, finding it undemolished and the phone ringing. He is unable to get to the phone before it rings off. The contents of the house are as he left them, apart from a large pile of junk mail just inside the front door, and a strange bowl, bearing the inscription 'So Long and Thanks for All the Fish'. He phones his boss at the BBC to explain that he has been absent due to going mad and would return to work when hedgehogs come out of hibernation (plus a few minutes to have a shave).
Driving, he encounters Fenchurch again, and gives her a lift to the train station, saying that he has something he wants to tell her. At the station pub they attempt to engage in conversation, but are interrupted by someone offering raffle tickets. Fenchurch has to leave to catch her train, and leaves her phone number on a ticket — with which Arthur then wins the raffle.
Distraught, Arthur decides to find the Islington cave that he spent some years in during prehistoric times. He knocks on a few doors in Islington near where he thinks that cave was, firstly calling at Friends of the World. When there he attempts to make a donation to "save the dolphins" but is met with mockery from the "Ecological Man" (played by David Dixon
, Ford Prefect from the television series. There is a brief allusion to the TV series as Arthur asks if they've met before). The next door he knocks on is Fenchurch's. She is surprised that he didn't call first, shows him his misplaced copy of the Guide, and notes that they need to talk.
Fenchurch tells Arthur about her revelation at the time of the Vogon fleet's visit. At her urging, Arthur figures out that her feet do not touch the ground, leading him to suspect that she also can fly, and to a romantic tryst on the wing of a Heathrow
-bound airplane.
Curious about the dolphins'
fate, Arthur and Fenchurch head to California
to visit Wonko the Sane, a scientist considered the foremost expert on the species. Wonko, who lives in an inside-out house called "The Outside of the Asylum" and claims to have had conversations with green-winged angel
s, tells Arthur and Fenchurch that they all received the same glass bowls — farewell gifts from the dolphins that, when pinged, play their final message to humans.
Meanwhile, a Vogon inquiry reveals that Earth's location in a plural zone means that any destroyed version is highly likely to be replaced by an alternate one. The Vogons decide that all Earths must still be destroyed, even though the bypass project has been cancelled.
The music that plays when Arthur determines that Fenchurch fly, and again during the end credits, is strongly reminiscient of the style of Dire Straits
. The book, "So Long, and Thanks for all the Fish", says that Arthur and Fenchurch listened to Dire Straits on a Walkman
cassette player, with two sets of headphones, while flying together (inspired by the music that Douglas Adams listened to whilst writing the book).
Fenchurch and Arthur return to England
, to discover that a large spaceship has landed in Knightsbridge
, London
, bringing Ford Prefect
with it. Fenchurch, Arthur and Ford leave on the ship. Arthur begins to suspect that this is not the Earth he and Ford knew — there is a "Tricia McMillan" on the news, with an American accent and blonde hair (voiced by Sandra Dickinson
, who played Trillian in the TV series), but otherwise identical to the Trillian who left his earth with Zaphod Beeblebrox
. Fenchurch and Arthur go to see God's Final Message to His Creation, and bump into Marvin, who is also en route to see it. Marvin is now 37 times older than the universe itself, and needs assistance to read the message, which turns out to be "WE APOLOGISE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE". Declaring that he thinks he feels good about the message, Marvin dies.
This is followed by an event only mentioned in Mostly Harmless
. Fenchurch asks Arthur to show her the universe. However, on a commercial liner flight, Fenchurch disappears, and the ship's crew deny she ever existed...
At the conclusion of the show's credits, a tie-in website is announced: McKenna's All-Weather Haulage.
The Quintessential Phase has one sub-plot of Zaphod attempting to reach Zarniwoop (which did occur in Fit the Twelfth, but that version was dismissed during the Tertiary Phase as Zaphod having a "psychotic episode" - another version of events occurs here, in an attempt to interconnect all five series). Zarniwoop has been merged with the character Vann Harl from Mostly Harmless
. This radio series also sees the return of the characters of Max Quordlepleen, Thor, and Zarquon (who all appeared in Fit the Fifth at Milliways), and also Mr. Prosser, from Fit the First. None of these characters appear in the book version of Mostly Harmless.
The start of some of the plot threads from Mostly Harmless were introduced in the Quandary Phase (though they did not appear in So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish
) - notably the Vogons discovering that Earth had re-appeared and resolving to destroy all versions of it, Arthur having sold his DNA, a mention that Trillian now has a child and is now a reporter. Also the final episode saw the introduction of an alternate version of Trillian, still known as Tricia McMillan, who is identical to the original Trillian except for being blonde and American. This alternate McMillan is played by Sandra Dickinson
, who played Trillian in the television series
.
The episode opens with a Grebulon spaceship suffering an accident, and losing nearly all records of what it is and what it should be doing, along with the crew's memories of why. Based on what little remains of their orders, they land on the tenth planet from the Sun, and start to 'monitor' Earth.
After a year's travelling Arthur has returned to the co-ordinates ZZ9 plural Z alpha - where he is expecting to find Earth, and perhaps Fenchurch. In its place, he finds a barely colonised planet called NowWhat, although with the right continents for Earth. The creature at the information desk explains that beings from a "plural" region are not advised to travel in hyperspace due to the risk of slipping in dimensions. He is directed to Hawalius, a planet of oracles.
During a flashback, the introduction between Trillian and Zaphod Beeblebrox is revealed. But on a parallel Earth, an American and blonde Tricia McMillan (who was left behind by her universe's Zaphod) is interviewing Gail Andrews, an astrologer
, about the effect that the recently-discovered planet Persephone (nicknamed Rupert) will have on astrology. The Grebulons, monitoring this, have an idea.
Later, Andrews and McMillan talk. Andrews has sensed that McMillan is unhappy about the stars - McMillan reveals that she met an alien (Zaphod Beeblebrox) at a party once (a variation of the previous flashback ensues), but didn't get to go with him because she fetched her bag. She also reveals that she just missed out on a TV job in New York City because she did not go back to fetch her bag.
Meanwhile, Zaphod (who does not appear in the book) is attempting to meet Zarniwoop once more, convinced that the Total Perspective Vortex (from Fit the Eighth) was not just his imagination. He has arrived at Saquo-Pilia Hensha, the new location of the offices for The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. He sneaks into the building pretending to deliver pizza, and goes to the editor's office. He meets Zarniwoop Vann Harl, who promises to explain matters.
The story turns back to Arthur, who has arrived at Hawalius. He is told by an oracle that prophecy is a dead business now, due to news reports from the future using time travel. He is given a piece of free advice - "it'll all end in tears, probably already has", and sent on his way to the next cave.
Back at the Hitchhiker's building, Ford is also sneaking in. He climbs into the building through the ventilation system, disables a security robot (which he dubs "Colin") by hardwiring it to be happy all the time, and then gets it to cover his entrance to the editor's office, finding out along the way that the Guide has been taken over and is no longer owned by Megadodo Publications. He too manages to get into the editor's office and finds that Vann Harl has been expecting Ford. The episode ends here on a cliff-hanger.
Arthur is still trying to gain advice on the planet Hawalius, but when he finally leaves the planet, the spaceship he's on develops "a major glitch" just as they jump into hyperspace. Meanwhile, on Earth, Tricia McMillan agrees to go with the Grebulons and work out a system of astrology that would be valid on the planet Persephone (Rupert), in exchange for exclusive rights to the story.
Back in The Guides offices, Zarniwoop Vann Harl, the new editor of the guide, asks Ford to be his restaurant critic. He explains that there is a new Guide, aimed at families rather than hitchhikers, and they plan to make one and sell it in billions of billions of alternate worlds. Ford steals the Dine-a-Charge and Ident-i-Eze cards from him, then hacks into the accountancy system. The universe there is equated with the artificial universe inside Zarniwoop's office, and Ford discovers Zaphod, in a shack by the beach, claiming he has been there on his own for a month. Zaphod claims that the Presidency and the Krikkitmen were just a distraction, and that they have "shrunk the Vortex and given it the voice of that Lintilla chick" in order to create the new Guide. The episode ends with Ford going to floor 23, and being forced to jump out of a window, in order to escape from Zarniwoop Vann Harl, who is revealed to be a disguised Vogon.
Arthur Dent has, since the last episode, settled on the planet his ship crash-landed on, Lamuella, which is partly in a "plural zone". He is occupied as The Sandwich Maker, making sandwiches for the inhabitants of a village from the meat of the Perfectly Normal Beast. Perfectly Normal Beasts are rather like bison, and migrate.
A messenger brings news to the Sandwich Maker that a spaceship has landed on the planet. When Arthur approaches it, he is surprised to see Trillian disembark. Trillian explains that the crash was known about, but nobody has been to able to rescue him for insurance reasons. She explains that she had a daughter, named Random, using sperm sold by Arthur, and has come to drop off her daughter (of indeterminate age due to time travel, but probably around 16), whilst she is off covering a war.
At the Hitchhiker's Guide building, Ford saves himself by using Colin's antigravity systems to get to a ledge on the 13th floor of the building. He bypasses the rocket-proof glass by unlatching the window. Colin notes that the rocket-proof glass was installed after the Frogstar attack on the building (in Fit the Seventh), which Ford knows nothing about.
Meanwhile, on Lamuella, Random is not settling in well. Born on a spaceship going from one place to another place, she doesn't consider anywhere home, and Earth, the world both her parents are from, has been destroyed. A robot courier arrives with a package, for Ford Prefect care of Arthur Dent, which Arthur decides to keep safely closed on the basis that anything that involves Ford Prefect is dangerous. Distraught at her lack of place in the universe, Random runs off with the package into the forest, which is considered haunted by the natives of Lamuella.
Random discovers that the holo-entertainment system from the rocket ship that Arthur Dent crash landed in, which is still functional, as the source of the "hauntings." She opens the package, revealing the Guide Mark II, in the form of a black bird. The Bird explains the nature of probability and that some alternative Earths do exist, and persuades Random to go to one of them. Random challenges the Bird to get her a spaceship there, and just at that moment, one lands. She downs the pilot with a well-thrown rock, and leaves Lamuella.
The alternate Tricia McMillan has been taken to Rupert and meets the Grebulon leader, who explains their problem of having forgotten everything, and their reasoning in trying to gain purpose through astrology. Meanwhile, Arthur has been looking for Random and has seen the spaceship. Searching the forest he stumbles onto the pilot of the ship, Ford Prefect.
The episode opens with Ford and Arthur on Lamuella. Ford explains about the new guide and its ability to use Reverse Temporal Engineering in order to arrange circumstances for the benefit of its user. Ford's spaceship itself he obtained by jumping from a building and falling into it, its previous occupant having accidentally pressed the wrong sort of eject button. Tracing
back, he discovered that a trail of coincidences led back to the new Guide, which was responsible. With Random stealing the ship and the Bird, they are stuck, with no immediate way to get offworld to prevent the Vogons from doing whatever it is they intend to do.
They decide that the Perfectly Normal Beasts are the best way off the planet. The migration has already started, and this sees them appear at one point, run past Lamuella, and then disappear again, evidence of a dimensional shift. Old Thrashbarg helps them slow a Perfectly Normal Beast long enough for them to get on to it, and tells them that they
will be entering the Domain of the King.
On the alternate Earth, Tricia McMillan has returned from Rupert, and is lamenting that none of the footage she has taken is usable. She is interrupted by a member of the hotel staff, telling her that a spaceship has landed in Regent's Park, and the young girl on the ship is demanding to see her.
Meanwhile, the Grebulon leader is still unhappy. Whilst they now have horoscopes, he now knows that unless he takes positive action, then due to the Earth rising, he will have a very bad month. He decides to investigate the possible astrological uses of the Grebulon's gun turrets.
Arthur and Ford arrive at the Domain of the King Bar and Grill, which has numerous spaceships outside of it, including a large pink one. Inside, they have a couple of bacon rolls, whilst Ford buys the pink spaceship from the bar singer, Elvis Presley. They then depart for Earth.
After arriving on Earth, they find that Tricia McMillan has taken Random to a club, and go there themselves. A strange man confronts Arthur, and says "I told you not to come here!" Arthur and Ford find Random, along with Tricia and Trillian (who had arrived in the meantime on a third spaceship). Random is holding a gun and threatening to shoot. Trillian explains they must leave the planet immediately, as the Grebulons (a missing spaceship from the war she was sent to cover) are about to destroy the planet, once again.
Arthur explains it is impossible for him to die (and hence for the planet destroyed), but the strange man goes for Random's gun and she ends up shooting him. Trillian points out the name of the club to Arthur: Stavro Müller Beta. The man was Agrajag, and Arthur is now mortal. The Earth is destroyed. The book version of Mostly Harmless ends here.
After a while, the Guide entry on Babel fish
is played. At the end it notes that in addition to their translation abilities, they are capable of shifting sideways in probability when needed, bringing their host and sometimes other people in the vicinity, with them, a trick they had also
taught to the dolphins in exchange for information about where a good time might be had.
In the extended edition, there then follow three alternate possibilities. The first, continuing from the end of Fit the Twelfth, sees Arthur and Lintilla and several of her clones alone, save for Eddie, and happy on the starship Heart of Gold.
The second goes back to the very start of Fit the First, and sees Arthur lying in front of the bulldozer about to knock down his house and sparring with Mr Prosser, with Fenchurch beside him and insulting Prosser.
The third ending, which was used in the broadcast version, sees Arthur, Ford, Random, Zaphod and a merged Trillian in the Restaurant at the End of the Universe (at Table 42). Max Quordlepleen introduces Zarquon. Meanwhile, Trillian is getting off again with Thor, and Random (a vegetarian) is having trouble with the Dish of the Day and wants a vegetable option.
It is discovered that Fenchurch is waitressing at the Restaurant. She had an experience similar to Arthur's - from her perspective he had been the one to vanish. She has been waiting for him at Milliway's since it seemed like a good place, and agrees to go travelling with Arthur once more. She has brought a phone call for Zaphod, from Marvin, who has been working at the Restaurant now for thousands of years (having discovered that his warranty hadn't run out) and has had a promotion, and now has his own bucket. Zaphod tells him to give the Heart of Gold a hot wax.
Zarquon the Prophet makes an appearance and is about to address all those who took his name in vain when Wowbagger appears to insult him. The prophet insults him back and removes his immortality, to applause from the audience (since he immediately dies).
Finally, after the credits, Jeltz is able to tick the box that he is supposed to tick after he has destroyed the Earth and Arthur goes flying with Fenchurch.
Notably, in the latest Hitchiker book, And Another Thing...
by Eoin Colfer
, the dream sequence the Hitchhiker's Guide Mk.2 puts Trillian into involves the Babel Fish teleporting her and the other main characters away from the destroyed Earth to Milliways, similar to one of the endings. Van Harl is also mentioned as Zarniwoop Van Harl, among other nods to the radio series such as a reference to Brontitall and the bird people from the Secondary Phase that were never put into the novels.
Life, the Universe and Everything
Life, the Universe and Everything is the third book in the five-volume Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy science fiction series by British writer Douglas Adams...
, So Long, and Thanks For All the Fish
So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish
So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish is the fourth book of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy "trilogy" written by Douglas Adams. Its title is the message left by the dolphins when they departed Planet Earth just before it was demolished to make way for a hyperspace bypass, as described in The...
and Mostly Harmless
Mostly Harmless
Mostly Harmless is a novel by Douglas Adams and the fifth book in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series. It is described on the cover of the first editions as "The fifth book in the increasingly inaccurately named Hitchhikers Trilogy"...
produced in 2003 and 2004 by Above the Title Productions
Above the Title Productions
Above the Title Productions is a UK independent radio and TV production company based in London. The company specializes in the making of drama, music, comedy and feature programmes, principally for BBC Radio. The company's past works include adaptations of Agatha Christie mysteries, radio...
for BBC Radio 4
BBC Radio 4
BBC Radio 4 is a British domestic radio station, operated and owned by the BBC, that broadcasts a wide variety of spoken-word programmes, including news, drama, comedy, science and history. It replaced the BBC Home Service in 1967. The station controller is currently Gwyneth Williams, and the...
. These are continuations of Douglas Adams
Douglas Adams
Douglas Noel Adams was an English writer and dramatist. He is best known as the author of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, which started life in 1978 as a BBC radio comedy before developing into a "trilogy" of five books that sold over 15 million copies in his lifetime, a television...
's The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a science fiction comedy series created by Douglas Adams. Originally a radio comedy broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in 1978, it was later adapted to other formats, and over several years it gradually became an international multi-media phenomenon...
radio series, consisting of a total of fourteen episodes. They were preceded by the Primary and Secondary Phases
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Primary and Secondary Phases
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy radio series written by Douglas Adams was first broadcast in 1978 and was the first incarnation of his Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy franchise...
. For more on the history of all five series, please see The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (radio series)
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (radio series)
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a science fiction comedy radio series written by Douglas Adams . It was originally broadcast in the United Kingdom by BBC Radio 4 in 1978, and afterwards on global short wave radio on the BBC World Service, National Public Radio in the U.S. and CBC Radio in...
.
The Tertiary Phase
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Tertiary Phase, based on Life, the Universe and EverythingLife, the Universe and Everything
Life, the Universe and Everything is the third book in the five-volume Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy science fiction series by British writer Douglas Adams...
, ran on BBC Radio 4
BBC Radio 4
BBC Radio 4 is a British domestic radio station, operated and owned by the BBC, that broadcasts a wide variety of spoken-word programmes, including news, drama, comedy, science and history. It replaced the BBC Home Service in 1967. The station controller is currently Gwyneth Williams, and the...
from Tuesday September 21 to October 26, 2004, with repeats on the following Thursdays. Episodes were subtitled Fits the Thirteenth through Eighteenth. The third novel was adapted by Dirk Maggs
Dirk Maggs
Dirk Maggs, a freelance writer and director working across all media, is principally known for his work in radio, where he evolved radio drama into "Audio Movies," a near-visual approach combining scripts, layered sound effects, cinematic music and cutting edge technology. He pioneered the use of...
, John Langdon and Bruce Hyman following instructions left by Adams. Most of the original radio series cast returned, with the exception of three, due to their deaths. Richard Vernon
Richard Vernon
Richard Vernon was a British actor. He appeared in many feature films and television programmes, often in aristocratic or supercilious roles...
(died 1997) as Slartibartfast, replaced by Richard Griffiths
Richard Griffiths
Richard Griffiths, OBE is an English actor of stage, film and television. He has received the Laurence Olivier Award for Best Actor, the Drama Desk Award for Outstanding Actor in a Play, the Outer Critics Circle Award for Best Featured Actor and a Tony Award for Best Performance by a Leading Actor...
, Peter Jones
Peter Jones (actor)
Peter Jones was an English actor, screenwriter and broadcaster.-Early life and career:Jones was born in Wem, Shropshire and he was educated at the Wem Grammar School and Ellesmere College. He made his first appearance as an actor in Wolverhampton at the age of 16 and then appeared in repertory...
(died 2000), replaced by his friend William Franklyn
William Franklyn
William Leo Franklyn was a British actor, perhaps best known for voicing the "Schhh... You Know Who" adverts for Schweppes from 1965 to 1973...
; some brief excerpts from Jones's original narration were also used in the first episode, disguised as the Book's speech-generation system changing as part of updates to the Guide from the publisher. A third absent cast member was David Tate (died 1996), who played a multitude of minor roles in the two original radio series including Eddie, the Heart of Gold's computer. Bill Wallis
Bill Wallis
Bill Wallis is a British character actor and comedian who has appeared in numerous radio and television roles, as well as in the theatre....
, who played the roles of Mr Prosser and Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz in the original series, was not available. Toby Longworth
Toby Longworth
Toby Longworth is a British actor who has appeared on film, radio and television. He is originally from Somerset, where he attended King Edward's School, Bath...
took the role of Jeltz in the new series. On the other hand, John Marsh
John Marsh (newsreader)
John Marsh is a freelance newsreader on BBC Radio 2."Boggy", as he has been nicknamed by Terry Wogan, is from Sussex, and was originally a cameraman. However, a radio opportunity came up, and he ended up in BBC Radio 4. In 1982 he transferred to Radio 2. Marsh presented various radio shows, but...
, who was the original series' continuity announcer, returned to announce the credits. There was even a cameo role by Adams himself as Agrajag, edited from his BBC audiobook recording of the novel.
The original novel was based on a treatment that Adams wrote for an unmade Doctor Who
Doctor Who
Doctor Who is a British science fiction television programme produced by the BBC. The programme depicts the adventures of a time-travelling humanoid alien known as the Doctor who explores the universe in a sentient time machine called the TARDIS that flies through time and space, whose exterior...
movie, Doctor Who and the Krikketmen. The idea was re-proposed during Tom Baker
Tom Baker
Thomas Stewart "Tom" Baker is a British actor. He is best known for playing the fourth incarnation of the Doctor in the science fiction television series Doctor Who, a role he played from 1974 to 1981.-Early life:...
's tenure in the title role, and again for a potential (but unmade) second television series of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (TV series)
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, is a BBC television adaptation of Douglas Adams's The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy broadcast in January and February 1981 on BBC Two...
.
Before the final episode was broadcast, BBC Worldwide
BBC Worldwide
BBC Worldwide Limited is the wholly owned commercial subsidiary of the British Broadcasting Corporation, formed out of a restructuring of its predecessor BBC Enterprises in 1995. In the year to 31 March 2010 it made a profit of £145m on a turnover of £1.074bn. The company had made a profit of £106m...
released the Tertiary Phase on CD
Compact Disc
The Compact Disc is an optical disc used to store digital data. It was originally developed to store and playback sound recordings exclusively, but later expanded to encompass data storage , write-once audio and data storage , rewritable media , Video Compact Discs , Super Video Compact Discs ,...
, including additional material. A DVD of the series was released on 2 October 2006 in the UK. This marks the first commercial release of any BBC radio programme in a 5.1 surround mix. The disc contains as extras: the full version of the Krikket Song, a photogallery, the original online and radio trailers, the appearance of the series on Pick of the Week, and thirty minutes of behind the scenes video in five short segments. Note that while the BBC online shop is still listing the disc as a DVD-Audio
DVD-Audio
DVD-Audio is a digital format for delivering high-fidelity audio content on a DVD. DVD-Audio is not intended to be a video delivery format and is not the same as video DVDs containing concert films or music videos....
disc, their own image confirms that the disc is a lower-definition standard DVD-Video. ISBN 0-563-50457-9.
Since the opening of the third book starts at the same place and time (prehistoric Earth) as the opening of the second radio series, the entire Secondary Phase was dismissed as one of Zaphod's "psychotic episodes" (including events that did take place in the books). Hints, however, were interspersed in the subsequent fourth and fifth series that would ultimately tie all five together. The UK edition of the novel was used for the adaptation - this becomes evident in Fit the Sixteenth, when the "Rory" award is said to be given for the Most Gratuitous Use Of The Word Fuck
Fuck
"Fuck" is an English word that is generally considered obscene which, in its most literal meaning, refers to the act of sexual intercourse. By extension it may be used to negatively characterize anything that can be dismissed, disdained, defiled, or destroyed."Fuck" can be used as a verb, adverb,...
In A Serious Screenplay. The US edition of the same novel substituted "Belgium" for "fuck," as well as the explanation for why the former word is considered to be devastatingly rude in the rest of the galaxy, which is drawn from Fit the Tenth of the Secondary Phase. The broadcast version avoids saying "fuck" on radio by well-timed crashes and explosions — the CD version moves these so that the "fuck" is audible.
Fit the Thirteenth
- Broadcast on BBC Radio 4, 21 September 2004
- Cast:
- The Book: Peter JonesPeter Jones (actor)Peter Jones was an English actor, screenwriter and broadcaster.-Early life and career:Jones was born in Wem, Shropshire and he was educated at the Wem Grammar School and Ellesmere College. He made his first appearance as an actor in Wolverhampton at the age of 16 and then appeared in repertory...
and William FranklynWilliam FranklynWilliam Leo Franklyn was a British actor, perhaps best known for voicing the "Schhh... You Know Who" adverts for Schweppes from 1965 to 1973... - Arthur Dent: Simon JonesSimon Jones (actor)Simon Jones is an English actor, most famous for his appearances in the television and radio series of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, in which he played the lead role of Arthur Dent from 1978 to 2005...
- Wowbagger (and Vogon Captain, uncredited): Toby LongworthToby LongworthToby Longworth is a British actor who has appeared on film, radio and television. He is originally from Somerset, where he attended King Edward's School, Bath...
- Ford Prefect: Geoffrey McGivernGeoffrey McGivernGeoffrey McGivern is an English actor in film, radio, stage and television. He was born in Balham, South London and grew up in York. There he attended Archbishop Holgate's School, where he was made Head Boy...
- Trillian: Susan SheridanSusan SheridanSusan Sheridan is a British actress. Her voice acting roles include Noddy in the Cosgrove Hall/BBC Television series Noddy's Toyland Adventures, Trillian in the radio series The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and Princess Eilonwy in the animated film The Black Cauldron.She has also provided...
- Zaphod Beeblebrox: Mark Wing-DaveyMark Wing-DaveyMark Wing-Davey is a British actor and director.-Early life and career:The son of actor and actress Peter Davey and Anna Wing, Wing-Davey went to school at Woolverstone Hall School, before studying at Cambridge University where he was a member of the Footlights from 1967 to 1970.He had a featured...
- Marvin the Paranoid Android: Stephen MooreStephen Moore (actor)Stephen Moore is an English actor, known for his work on British television since the 1980s. He is known for his appearances in Rock Follies and other TV series such as The Last Place on Earth, the children's series The Queen's Nose and the drama Mersey Beat and the British TV comedy series Solo,...
- Eddie the Computer: Roger Gregg
- Zem the Mattress: Andy Taylor
- Announcer: John MarshJohn Marsh (newsreader)John Marsh is a freelance newsreader on BBC Radio 2."Boggy", as he has been nicknamed by Terry Wogan, is from Sussex, and was originally a cameraman. However, a radio opportunity came up, and he ended up in BBC Radio 4. In 1982 he transferred to Radio 2. Marsh presented various radio shows, but...
- The Book: Peter Jones
Arthur wakes up in a cave on pre-historic Earth (thus ignoring the events of the Secondary Phase), on the day, four years after he last saw Ford Prefect
Ford Prefect (character)
Ford Prefect is a fictional character in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by the British author Douglas Adams. He is the only character other than the protagonist, Arthur Dent, to appear throughout the entire Hitchhiker's saga.-Name:Although Ford had taken great care to blend into Earth...
, that Ford arrives back. Ford carries news that he has detected disturbances in the "space-time wash", and that they might be able to escape. The disturbance turns out to be an old sofa, which materialises in a field. They chase the sofa as it runs off, and then are transported elsewhere.
Zaphod and Trillian are on the Heart of Gold, without Marvin. Zaphod is extremely hungover, and upset that Trillian is dismissing the events of The Secondary Phase as a "psychotic episode". Trillian wishes to do something and is getting increasingly annoyed at Zaphod. After preparing a fabulous meal, and Zaphod still refusing to come out of the bathroom, she teleports away, telling the ship to "transport me the hell out of Zaphod Beeblebrox's life."
Meanwhile, Marvin is on a swamp on Sqornshellous Zeta, conversing with the native life-forms, mattresses. He is circling around and around on one leg, while his artificial (i.e. replacement) leg is stuck in the swamp.
Fit the Fourteenth
- Broadcast on BBC Radio 4, 28 September 2004
- Cast:
- The Book: William Franklyn
- Arthur Dent: Simon Jones
- Ford Prefect: Geoffrey McGivern
- Marvin the Paranoid Android: Stephen Moore
- Krikkit Robots: Dominic HawksleyDominic HawksleyDominic Hawksley is an actor who appeared in Death Machine and Entropy. His voice work includes Midnight Club: Street Racing, Midnight Club 2, and Max Payne and in the documentary film The Endurance: Shackleton's Legendary Antarctic Expedition...
- Slartibartfast: Richard GriffithsRichard GriffithsRichard Griffiths, OBE is an English actor of stage, film and television. He has received the Laurence Olivier Award for Best Actor, the Drama Desk Award for Outstanding Actor in a Play, the Outer Critics Circle Award for Best Featured Actor and a Tony Award for Best Performance by a Leading Actor...
- Zem the Mattress: Andy Taylor
- Walkie Talkie: Fiona Carew
- The Boy: Theo Maggs
- Wowbagger: Toby Longworth
- Deodat: Bruce HymanBruce HymanBruce Anthony Hyman is a radio and TV producer and the only barrister in 800 years to be sent to prison for attempting to pervert the course of justice.-Crime:On Monday 6 August 2007 Hyman was convicted of attempting to pervert the course of justice....
- Henry BlofeldHenry BlofeldHenry Calthorpe Blofeld is a sports journalist. He is best known as a cricket commentator for Test Match Special on BBC Radio 4 and BBC Radio 5 Live Sports Extra.Blofeld had an exceptional career as a schoolboy cricketer, cut short by injury...
: Himself - Fred TruemanFred TruemanFrederick Sewards Trueman OBE was an English cricketer, generally acknowledged as one of the greatest fast bowlers in history. A bowler of genuinely fast pace who was widely known as Fiery Fred, Trueman played first-class cricket for Yorkshire County Cricket Club from 1949 until he retired in 1968...
: Himself - Announcer: John Marsh
Arthur and Ford arrive at Lord's Cricket Ground
Lord's Cricket Ground
Lord's Cricket Ground is a cricket venue in St John's Wood, London. Named after its founder, Thomas Lord, it is owned by Marylebone Cricket Club and is the home of Middlesex County Cricket Club, the England and Wales Cricket Board , the European Cricket Council and, until August 2005, the...
on the sofa that they had caught in the previous episode. They have arrived in the final Test Match
Test cricket
Test cricket is the longest form of the sport of cricket. Test matches are played between national representative teams with "Test status", as determined by the International Cricket Council , with four innings played between two teams of 11 players over a period of up to a maximum five days...
in the Ashes
The Ashes
The Ashes is a Test cricket series played between England and Australia. It is one of the most celebrated rivalries in international cricket and dates back to 1882. It is currently played biennially, alternately in the United Kingdom and Australia. Cricket being a summer sport, and the venues...
, in the middle of the field. A policeman apprehends them, and they retire to the pavilion.
Watching the match, Arthur drinks some tea and glances upon a newspaper. He notices the date on the newspaper, and realises that it was from the day before the Earth was demolished. A ball lands in Arthur's bag, and when the fielder comes to collect it, Arthur decides to keep it.
With the planet about to be demolished again, they then look for another lift from the planet. They discover a spaceship, hidden by a "Somebody Else's Problem field", hidden behind a screen.
The game finishes, with England winning the Ashes, and Slartibartfast joins Arthur and Ford. Slartibartfast explains that he has arrived because "something terrible is about to happen". He walks to the centre of the cricket pitch, and asks to be given the Ashes saying that they are "vitally important for the past, present and future safety of the Galaxy".
Another spaceship arrives. Eleven white robots, carrying bats and balls, and wearing rocket pads on their shins (dressed like cricketers), come suddenly out, and start attacking the spectators and players with their grenades. They take the Ashes, say "we declare", and go back into their ship. Ford and Arthur catch a lift with Slartibartfast on his ship.
Meanwhile, Marvin is once again making conversation with a mattress. A similar ship to before arrives, and white robots get out and take Marvin's one remaining leg. After a brief while, they return and decide to take all of Marvin instead.
Fit the Fifteenth
- Broadcast on BBC Radio 4, 5 October 2004
- Cast:
- The Book: William Franklyn
- Arthur Dent: Simon Jones
- Ford Prefect: Geoffrey McGivern
- Slartibartfast: Richard Griffiths
- Zaphod Beeblebrox: Mark Wing-Davey
- Wikkit Voice: Dominic Hawksley
- Agrajag: Douglas AdamsDouglas AdamsDouglas Noel Adams was an English writer and dramatist. He is best known as the author of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, which started life in 1978 as a BBC radio comedy before developing into a "trilogy" of five books that sold over 15 million copies in his lifetime, a television...
- Eddie the Computer: Roger Gregg
- Judiciary Pag: Rupert DegasRupert DegasRupert Joel Degas is an English actor and voice artist.- Early life:Degas was born in London, the son of screenwriter Brian Degas and television presenter Maggie Clews, whose marriage ended in divorce when he was eight...
- Krikkit Man One (and Mancunian Correcting-Fluid Magnate, uncredited): Michael Fenton StevensMichael Fenton StevensMichael Fenton Stevens , sometimes credited as Michael Fenton-Stevens, is a UK actor and comedian, a founder member of The Hee Bee Gee Bees and the voice behind the Spitting Image 1986 number 1 hit "The Chicken Song"...
- Krikkit Man Two (and Krikkit song by): Philip PopePhilip PopePhilip R. J. Pope is a British composer and actor. He was educated at Downside School and New College, Oxford.-Performer:He appeared in the Oxford Revue in Edinburgh Festival Fringe in 1978 and 1979, both with Angus Deayton...
- Krikkit Man Three: Tom Maggs
- Henry BlofeldHenry BlofeldHenry Calthorpe Blofeld is a sports journalist. He is best known as a cricket commentator for Test Match Special on BBC Radio 4 and BBC Radio 5 Live Sports Extra.Blofeld had an exceptional career as a schoolboy cricketer, cut short by injury...
: Himself - Fred TruemanFred TruemanFrederick Sewards Trueman OBE was an English cricketer, generally acknowledged as one of the greatest fast bowlers in history. A bowler of genuinely fast pace who was widely known as Fiery Fred, Trueman played first-class cricket for Yorkshire County Cricket Club from 1949 until he retired in 1968...
: Himself - Announcer: John Marsh
Slartibartfast shows Ford and Arthur an Informational Illusion about the Krikkit Wars and the Wikkit Gate, and that the game of cricket
Cricket
Cricket is a bat-and-ball game played between two teams of 11 players on an oval-shaped field, at the centre of which is a rectangular 22-yard long pitch. One team bats, trying to score as many runs as possible while the other team bowls and fields, trying to dismiss the batsmen and thus limit the...
on Earth is a "racial memory" of the Wars. Investigating further, they discover that the Krikkitmen, a previously peaceful people, built their first spaceship in a year, after a spaceship landed on their planet. The planet and its sun had been previously obscured in a dust cloud that left the Krikketmen unaware of the existence or even possibility of existence of stars. It is considered remarkable that they constructed a working ship in just a year. After they saw the rest of the universe existed, they decided to annihilate it.
Meanwhile, on the Heart of Gold, Zaphod Beeblebrox hears the noise of thousands of people saying "Wop". He intercepts them on the bridge, where he is told they want the "Golden Bail", the ship's Infinite Improbability Drive. They take it, shoot him, and leave.
Back on Slartibartfast's ship, Ford and Arthur watch the Krikkit War Crimes Trial, presided over by Judiciary Pag. Pag's sentence is that Krikkit will be locked in an envelope of "Slo-Time", until the universe has ended, when it will be released, thus saving the universe from attack from Krikkit, and allowing Krikkit to exist in isolation after the end of the universe. However, a Krikkit ship escaped.
Slartibartfast notes that parts of the key to the Wikkit Gate, sealing the envelope of Slo-Time, have been re-appearing. After a failed attempt to recover the Wooden Pillar (the Ashes), Slartibartfast plans to go to a party, to locate the Silver Bail. Ford disagrees with this objective but agrees with the concept of going to a party. They teleport from the ship.
Arthur does not materialise with Ford and Slartibartfast, but elsewhere, in a gloomy room, with signs such as "DO NOT BE ALARMED. BE VERY VERY FRIGHTENED, ARTHUR DENT". The episode ends on a cliff-hanger, with the previously unintroduced character of Agrajag saying "Bet you weren't expecting to see me again."
The episode includes several Guide interludes, notably the story of Lallafa the poet, and a description of Brockian Ultra-Cricket.
Fit the Sixteenth
- Broadcast on BBC Radio 4, 12 October 2004
- Cast:
- The Book: William Franklyn
- Arthur Dent: Simon Jones
- Ford Prefect: Geoffrey McGivern
- Slartibartfast: Richard Griffiths
- Trillian: Susan Sheridan
- Thor: Dominic Hawksley
- Agrajag: Douglas Adams
- Award winner: Bob GoldingBob GoldingRobert John "Bob" Golding is an English voice actor.Golding is a comic actor who has worked on stage and television, probably best known for being the voice of Milo and Max in the Tweenies.-Television:...
- Woman with the Sydney Opera House Head: Joanna LumleyJoanna LumleyJoanna Lamond Lumley, OBE, FRGS is a British actress, voice-over artist, former-model and author, best known for her roles in British television series Absolutely Fabulous portraying Edina Monsoon's best friend, Patsy Stone, as well as parts in The New Avengers, Sapphire & Steel, and Sensitive...
- Party Doorman: Paul WickensPaul WickensPaul "Wix" Wickens is a keyboardist and composer from Essex, United Kingdom. Wickens has worked with musicians such as Paul McCartney, Nik Kershaw, Bob Dylan, Joni Mitchell, Bon Jovi and many other artists. Wickens has been a member of McCartney's touring band since 1989.-Career:Wickens began...
- Announcer: John Marsh
The episode begins with Arthur, who has been "diverted" by Agrajag, who claims that Arthur has killed previous incarnations of him hundreds of times. He also claims to have been the bowl of petunia
Petunia
Petunia is a widely cultivated genus of flowering plants of South American origin, closely related with tobacco, cape gooseberries, tomatoes, deadly nightshades, potatoes and chili peppers; in the family Solanaceae. The popular flower derived its name from French, which took the word petun, meaning...
s that materialised into existence in Fit the Third. Eventually it transpires one of the deaths was at Stavromula Beta, where someone tried to assassinate Arthur, and he ducked, hitting Agrajag. Arthur however has never been there. Agrajag cries "I've brought you here too zarking soon", but decides to attempt to kill Arthur anyway.
Arthur and Agrajag struggle, and Agrajag dies. Arthur escapes from the Cathedral of Hate, to which he had been diverted, by running into a passageway in the mountain. He notes that he has somehow ended up with the wrong bag - one he lost on Earth many years ago. He trips, and falls, only to discover that he is flying. He experiments with flying for a while, only to be hit in the small of the back by the party which Ford and Slartibartfast are attempting to enter.
The party is flying as well, and Ford and Slartibartfast are on a ledge around the building, not being permitted entry due to the lack of a bottle. Arthur remembers that his bag contains a bottle of Retsina
Retsina
Retsina is a Greek white resinated wine that has been made for at least 2000 years. Its unique flavor is said to have originated from the practice of sealing wine vessels, particularly amphorae, with Aleppo Pine resin in ancient times. Before the invention of impermeable glass bottles, oxygen...
, and this gets them entry. They see Trillian
Trillian (character)
Tricia McMillan, also known as Trillian Astra, is a fictional character from Douglas Adams' series The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. She is most commonly referred to simply as "Trillian", a modification of her birth name, which she adopted because it sounded more "space-like". According to the...
and Thor at the party, where Thor is chatting Trillian up.
They quiz people trying to find the Silver Bail, and discover that it has been instantiated as an award (a Rory) for the Most Gratuitous Use Of The Word Fuck In A Serious Screenplay. Before they are actually able to find it, the Krikkit robots appear, massacre the party-goers and take the Silver Bail.
Arthur tricks Thor into walking out of the building by challenge him into a fight, leaving Trillian with no choice but to come with them. The Krikkitmen now have all the parts of the Wikkit Key, and Slartibartfast notes that their next move must be to go to the Wikkit Gate itself and try to intervene.
Fit the Seventeenth
- Broadcast on BBC Radio 4, 19 October 2004
- Cast:
- The Book: William Franklyn
- Arthur Dent: Simon Jones
- Ford Prefect (and Hactar, in flashbacks, uncredited): Geoffrey McGivern
- Trillian: Susan Sheridan
- Zaphod Beeblebrox: Mark Wing-Davey
- Marvin the Paranoid Android: Stephen Moore
- Krikkit Commander: Dominic Hawksley
- Slartibartfast: Richard Griffiths
- Eddie the Computer: Roger Gregg
- Dispatcher (and Silastic Armorfiends, uncredited): Bob Golding
- Krikkit Man One: Michael Fenton Stevens
- Krikkit Man Two: Philip Pope
- Announcer: John Marsh
The episode opens with a Guide entry about the Silastic Armorfiends, a very aggressive species, who apparently were the first race ever to shock a computer, by asking it (Hactar) to design the "Ultimate Weapon". Hactar designed one, a small bomb which would destroy every sun in the universe by connecting them in hyperspace. However, it turned out to be a dud, because Hactar had decided that any possible consequence of making it a dud would be better than it actually being used. The Silastic Armorfiends were unimpressed with this and destroyed Hactar, and later themselves.
They arrive at the asteroid, but too late to do anything but watch. The Krikkit robots place the key into the Wikkit Gate, revealing Krikkit. As the robots from the escaped Krikkit ship leave their ship, they notice that Zaphod Beeblebrox is with them, who gets knocked out by the Krikkitmen, who then proceed to actually destroy the lock. Zaphod explains that they had brought him on their ship, but had not killed him, but not for any obvious reason.
Zaphod comes with the others on Slartibartfast's ship, where Slartibartfast announces that they have no choice but to go down to the surface of Krikkit. Arthur had recovered two items - the Golden Bail, in order to allow the Heart of Gold to work once more, and more importantly, the Ashes
The Ashes
The Ashes is a Test cricket series played between England and Australia. It is one of the most celebrated rivalries in international cricket and dates back to 1882. It is currently played biennially, alternately in the United Kingdom and Australia. Cricket being a summer sport, and the venues...
of the Wooden Pillar. Zaphod returns to the Heart of Gold, and asks Trillian whether she wishes to come with him - she declines.
Arthur, Ford, Trillian and Slartibartfast finally land on Krikkit, where they notice that there are hundreds of floating buildings and warships above the surface. They are soon apprehended by some Krikkitmen, who ask them if they are aliens. The Krikkitmen ask them about the "balance of nature
Balance of nature
The balance of nature is a theory that says that ecological systems are usually in a stable equilibrium , which is to say that a small change in some particular parameter will be corrected by some negative feedback that will bring the parameter back to its original "point of balance" with the rest...
". They express concern that the plan of universal destruction would upset the balance of nature, and also would stop them from having sporting links with the rest of the Galaxy.
The leader of the group, in private, explains to Trillian they have a bomb, that can destroy everything that exists, and cries about this. Trillian asks him to "take me to your leader, up there", in the sky.
Meanwhile, the others notice that the Heart of Gold is visible in the war zones above the planet. Zaphod sneaks into one of the floating buildings, where he finds the original starship that crash-landed on Krikkit. He dismisses it instantly as a fake. He later overhears a conversation between two Krikkit officers, and that apparently the robots are getting depressed and do fiendishly difficult quadratic equations instead of fighting. The episode ends with Zaphod over-hearing Marvin sing a depressing song.
Fit the Eighteenth
- Broadcast on BBC Radio 4, 26 October 2004
- Cast:
- The Book: William Franklyn
- Arthur Dent: Simon Jones
- Ford Prefect: Geoffrey McGivern
- Zaphod Beeblebrox: Mark Wing-Davey
- Trillian: Susan Sheridan
- Marvin the Paranoid Android: Stephen Moore
- Elder of Krikkit: Dominic Hawksley
- Slartibartfast: Richard Griffiths
- Eddie the Computer: Roger Gregg
- Krikkit Civilian: Bob Golding
- Wowbagger: Toby Longworth
- Henry Blofeld: Himself
- Fred Trueman: Himself
- Prak: Chris LanghamChris LanghamChristopher "Chris" Langham is an English writer, actor and comedian. He is most famous for playing MP Hugh Abbot in BBC Four sitcom The Thick of It and as presenter Roy Mallard in People Like Us, first on BBC Radio 4 and later on its transfer to television on BBC Two, where Mallard is almost...
- Hactar: Leslie PhillipsLeslie PhillipsLeslie Samuel Phillips, CBE is an English actor with a highly recognisable upper class accent. Originally known for his work as a comedy actor, Phillips subsequently made the transition to character roles.-Early life:...
- Announcer: John Marsh
Ford, Arthur and Slartibartfast are on the surface of Krikkit, prisoners of the Krikkit-men, and waiting for Trillian to get back, or for Zaphod to do something.
Zaphod has discovered Marvin, who since he was stolen by the Krikkit robots, has been plugged into the Krikkit mainframe and is being used as its central computer, hence depressing the robots, and making them unable to kill Zaphod. Marvin shows Zaphod CCTV of Trillian talking to the Elders of Krikkit.
Trillian is explaining that Krikkit's history is a sequence of contrived coincidences that was set up in order to provoke a race into wanting to destroy the universe. She points out their ultimate weapon, the supernova bomb, would destroy Krikkit as well, and that they ought to know that if they'd built it themselves instead of taking instructions from Hactar. A robot (independent from Marvin) detonates the bomb, only for it to turn out to be a dud.
Arthur, Ford, Marvin, Slartibartfast, Trillian and Zaphod all return to the Heart of Gold, just outside the dust cloud. A pocket of pseudo-gravity has opened with an oxygen atmosphere, and Arthur and Trillian exit the airlock into it.
There, they meet Hactar, who explains that when the Silastic Armorfiends tried to destroy him, they failed, and because of his cellular nature, he was eventually able to coalesce sufficiently to influence things. In the long years he grew to regret his decision to make the bomb a dud. He created the dust cloud around Krikkit and also the fake wrecked spacecraft that provoked them to develop spaceflight. He knows they are going to destroy them, and they do. His final words are "I have fulfilled my function..."
They have in the mean-time picked up a man named Prak, who was a witness at a trial when the Krikkit robots broke in and stole the Perspex Pillar. The robots jogged the arm of the person administering him truth drugs, and he took a huge overdose. He was then told to tell "the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth" - a horrifying fate. The court-house was abandoned, with him in place.
He has apparently stopped telling it ("there not nearly as much of it as people imagine"), but is still finding much of it, particularly frogs and Arthur Dent, hilarious. They ask him if he knows the Question to the Ultimate Answer of 42. He explains that knowledge of the Question and the Answer are mutually exclusive and that if both were to be known the universe would be replaced by something more bizarre and inexplicable. However, he does have the address of God's Last Message to his Creation, which he gives to them, but before Arthur is able to take down the address, Prak dies.
After this, they return to Lord's Cricket Ground, on Earth, after the Krikkit robot attack, to return the Ashes. In the destruction, Arthur is unable to find anyone to return the Ashes to. He notes that he is at Lord's, and one of his ambitions was always to bowl at Lord's. He still has the ball he caught last time he was there, he decides to bowl the ball at the batsman standing at the wicket.
Mid-run, Ford points out that "it's not an England batsman, it's a Krikkit robot", and that the ball is probably a supernova bomb, and not a dud. He is unable however to stop running and bowls anyway. It goes wide, and Ford catches the ball, the universe being saved by Arthur's poor bowling. Arthur decapitates the robot with its own bat, and then expresses his desire for a cup of tea.
Radio series four and five
A fourth and fifth series based on So Long, and Thanks For All the FishSo Long, and Thanks for All the Fish
So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish is the fourth book of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy "trilogy" written by Douglas Adams. Its title is the message left by the dolphins when they departed Planet Earth just before it was demolished to make way for a hyperspace bypass, as described in The...
and Mostly Harmless
Mostly Harmless
Mostly Harmless is a novel by Douglas Adams and the fifth book in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series. It is described on the cover of the first editions as "The fifth book in the increasingly inaccurately named Hitchhikers Trilogy"...
respectively follow. The names for these series were chosen because they sound "less daunting, more memorable and are a bit easier to spell," than the standard terms quaternary
Quaternary
The Quaternary Period is the most recent of the three periods of the Cenozoic Era in the geologic time scale of the ICS. It follows the Neogene Period, spanning 2.588 ± 0.005 million years ago to the present...
and quinary
Quinary
Quinary is a numeral system with five as the base. A possible origination of a quinary system is that there are five fingers on either hand. The base five is stated from 0-4...
.
While these were treated as the fourth and fifth Hitchhiker's Guide radio series, they were broadcast in one eight-week stretch in May and June 2005. The tradition of "Fits" continues; these were known as Fit the Nineteenth through Fit the Twenty-Sixth. The manner of broadcasting these episodes carries over from the Tertiary Phase: the original broadcast was on Tuesday, with a Thursday repeat (with the exception of Fit the Nineteenth, which was not repeated due to election coverage). After the initial Tuesday broadcast, audio streams of the episode were available until the following Tuesday (which is a slight change from the Tertiary phase, where streaming audio was only available between Thursday evening repeats). For these final phases, the core cast (Simon Jones, Geoffrey McGivern, Mark Wing-Davey, Susan Sheridan and Stephen Moore) returned, along with William Franklyn as the new voice of The Book (assisted by Rula Lenska). In addition, David Dixon, Sandra Dickinson, Bill Paterson, Roy Hudd and Jonathan Pryce, who had roles in the TV adaptation or the original radio series, all returned, though Dixon and Paterson both play new roles.
The "Quandary Phase" was released in a 2-CD set in late May 2005. The CDs contain material not present in the original transmissions, due to time constraints. The enclosed booklet contains notes from Dirk Maggs, Simon Jones, Bruce Hyman and Helen Chattwell. A 2-CD release of the "Quintessential Phase" was released in mid-June 2005, with similar material left out of the original transmissions, and notes in the booklet by the same four individuals.
The Quandary Phase
Fit the Nineteenth
- Broadcast on BBC Radio 4, 3 May 2005
- Cast:
- The Book: William FranklynWilliam FranklynWilliam Leo Franklyn was a British actor, perhaps best known for voicing the "Schhh... You Know Who" adverts for Schweppes from 1965 to 1973...
- The Book's "Update" voice (uncredited): Rula LenskaRula LenskaRula Lenska is an English actress. Best known for her work in the United Kingdom, she is remembered in the United States for a television advert that presented her as a celebrity, even though she was not widely known in the US at the time the advert was produced.She has appeared extensively on...
- Arthur Dent: Simon JonesSimon Jones (actor)Simon Jones is an English actor, most famous for his appearances in the television and radio series of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, in which he played the lead role of Arthur Dent from 1978 to 2005...
- Ford Prefect: Geoffrey McGivernGeoffrey McGivernGeoffrey McGivern is an English actor in film, radio, stage and television. He was born in Balham, South London and grew up in York. There he attended Archbishop Holgate's School, where he was made Head Boy...
- Rob McKenna: Bill Paterson
- Fenchurch (Fenny): Jane HorrocksJane HorrocksBarbara Jane Horrocks is an English voice, stage, screen and television actress, voice artist, musician, and singer. She is best known for her role as "Bubble" in the TV series Absolutely Fabulous as well as her distinctive voice....
- Barman: Arthur SmithArthur Smith (comedian)Brian Arthur John Smith is an English alternative comedian and writer. He was born in Bermondsey, South London, brother to Richard Smith...
- Russell: Rupert DegasRupert DegasRupert Joel Degas is an English actor and voice artist.- Early life:Degas was born in London, the son of screenwriter Brian Degas and television presenter Maggie Clews, whose marriage ended in divorce when he was eight...
- Vogon Guard (and Alien Teaser, uncredited): Bob GoldingBob GoldingRobert John "Bob" Golding is an English voice actor.Golding is a comic actor who has worked on stage and television, probably best known for being the voice of Milo and Max in the Tweenies.-Television:...
- Stewardess: Alison Pettitt
- Hooker: Fiona Carew
- Vogon Helmsman: Michael Cule
- Evil-looking bird/Canis Pontiff: Chris EmmettChris EmmettChris Emmett is a British actor and comedian best known for his work in the late 1970s on the BBC Radio 4 comedy The Burkiss Way. He was a regular on various series starring Roy Hudd, including The News Huddlines, The Newly Discovered Casebook of Sherlock Holmes, Huddwinks and Crowned Hudds...
- Vogon Captain: Toby LongworthToby LongworthToby Longworth is a British actor who has appeared on film, radio and television. He is originally from Somerset, where he attended King Edward's School, Bath...
- Announcer: John Marsh
- The Book: William Franklyn
Arthur discovers that the entry for "Earth" in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, which formerly had been edited down to "Mostly Harmless," has been replaced, with Ford's original full version. They head towards Earth independently, Arthur arriving first. After landing in a field in Somerset, Arthur tries to hike a lift to Cottington, to see if his house still exists. Along the way, he meets Rob McKenna, a man who complains about the rain, before realising he has hitched a lift the wrong way. He gets out, and gets a lift with Russell, whose sister, Fenchurch, is out cold on a back seat of the car. Arthur is instantly smitten, and asks about her. Russell claims that she is mad, and has been ever since "the hallucinations" — the Vogon Constructor Fleet.
On the Constructor Fleet, a junior crew member notices that Earth has re-appeared. He is overridden by the captain, Jeltz, who declares that he saw it destroyed himself.
Meanwhile, Ford is stuck in a bar with a large bill, which he avoids paying by promising to write an entry for the bar in the Guide. On the streets, he is asked by a hooker whether he is "rich", and says that he might be — being owed several years back pay for writing two words. He shows the two words — "Mostly Harmless" — to the hooker, and is shocked to see the guide updating this to his full entry. He decides to go to Earth himself.
Fit the Twentieth
- Broadcast on BBC Radio 4, 10 May 2005
- Cast:
- The Book: William FranklynWilliam FranklynWilliam Leo Franklyn was a British actor, perhaps best known for voicing the "Schhh... You Know Who" adverts for Schweppes from 1965 to 1973...
- Arthur Dent: Simon JonesSimon Jones (actor)Simon Jones is an English actor, most famous for his appearances in the television and radio series of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, in which he played the lead role of Arthur Dent from 1978 to 2005...
- Ford Prefect: Geoffrey McGivernGeoffrey McGivernGeoffrey McGivern is an English actor in film, radio, stage and television. He was born in Balham, South London and grew up in York. There he attended Archbishop Holgate's School, where he was made Head Boy...
- Rob McKenna: Bill Paterson
- Fenchurch: Jane HorrocksJane HorrocksBarbara Jane Horrocks is an English voice, stage, screen and television actress, voice artist, musician, and singer. She is best known for her role as "Bubble" in the TV series Absolutely Fabulous as well as her distinctive voice....
- Raffle Woman: June WhitfieldJune WhitfieldJune Rosemary Whitfield, CBE is an English actress, well known in the United Kingdom since the 1950s for roles in radio and television comedy series....
- BT Operator/Barmaid/News Anchor 2: Ann BrysonAnn BrysonAnn Bryson is a British actress who is best known for featuring in the television series Days Like These and Space Vets.-External links:...
- Jim (Bartender)/News Anchor 1: Simon GreenallSimon GreenallSimon Greenall is a British actor, writer and voice artist from Longtown in Cumbria. He has appeared in a wide variety of roles in television, film, radio and the theatre, and is probably best known for his role as Michael in the TV series I'm Alan Partridge and as the voice of headmaster Iqbal in...
- Speaking Clock: Brian CobbyBrian CobbyBrian Cobby , is a British actor and telephone exchange worker who in 1985 became the first male voice of the British speaking clock.In 2004, Cobby guest-starred in the Doctor Who audio drama The Creed of the Kromon....
- Ecological Man/Zirzla Leader: David DixonDavid DixonDavid Dixon is an English actor and screenwriter. He was born in the Nightingale Maternity Home, Derby, near his father's shop in 94 London Road and brought up there before the family moved to 14 St...
- Arthur's BBC Boss: Geoffrey PerkinsGeoffrey PerkinsGeoffrey Howard Perkins was a comedy producer, writer and performer, and an important figure in British comedy broadcasting. This was recognised in December 2008 when he was awarded with an Outstanding Contribution to Comedy Award...
- Announcer: John MarshJohn Marsh (newsreader)John Marsh is a freelance newsreader on BBC Radio 2."Boggy", as he has been nicknamed by Terry Wogan, is from Sussex, and was originally a cameraman. However, a radio opportunity came up, and he ended up in BBC Radio 4. In 1982 he transferred to Radio 2. Marsh presented various radio shows, but...
- The Book: William Franklyn
Arthur arrives at his house, finding it undemolished and the phone ringing. He is unable to get to the phone before it rings off. The contents of the house are as he left them, apart from a large pile of junk mail just inside the front door, and a strange bowl, bearing the inscription 'So Long and Thanks for All the Fish'. He phones his boss at the BBC to explain that he has been absent due to going mad and would return to work when hedgehogs come out of hibernation (plus a few minutes to have a shave).
Driving, he encounters Fenchurch again, and gives her a lift to the train station, saying that he has something he wants to tell her. At the station pub they attempt to engage in conversation, but are interrupted by someone offering raffle tickets. Fenchurch has to leave to catch her train, and leaves her phone number on a ticket — with which Arthur then wins the raffle.
Distraught, Arthur decides to find the Islington cave that he spent some years in during prehistoric times. He knocks on a few doors in Islington near where he thinks that cave was, firstly calling at Friends of the World. When there he attempts to make a donation to "save the dolphins" but is met with mockery from the "Ecological Man" (played by David Dixon
David Dixon
David Dixon is an English actor and screenwriter. He was born in the Nightingale Maternity Home, Derby, near his father's shop in 94 London Road and brought up there before the family moved to 14 St...
, Ford Prefect from the television series. There is a brief allusion to the TV series as Arthur asks if they've met before). The next door he knocks on is Fenchurch's. She is surprised that he didn't call first, shows him his misplaced copy of the Guide, and notes that they need to talk.
Fit the Twenty-First
- Broadcast on BBC Radio 4, 17 May 2005
- Cast:
- The Book: William FranklynWilliam FranklynWilliam Leo Franklyn was a British actor, perhaps best known for voicing the "Schhh... You Know Who" adverts for Schweppes from 1965 to 1973...
- Arthur Dent: Simon JonesSimon Jones (actor)Simon Jones is an English actor, most famous for his appearances in the television and radio series of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, in which he played the lead role of Arthur Dent from 1978 to 2005...
- Ford Prefect: Geoffrey McGivernGeoffrey McGivernGeoffrey McGivern is an English actor in film, radio, stage and television. He was born in Balham, South London and grew up in York. There he attended Archbishop Holgate's School, where he was made Head Boy...
- Fenchurch: Jane HorrocksJane HorrocksBarbara Jane Horrocks is an English voice, stage, screen and television actress, voice artist, musician, and singer. She is best known for her role as "Bubble" in the TV series Absolutely Fabulous as well as her distinctive voice....
- Murray Bost Henson: Stephen FryStephen FryStephen John Fry is an English actor, screenwriter, author, playwright, journalist, poet, comedian, television presenter and film director, and a director of Norwich City Football Club. He first came to attention in the 1981 Cambridge Footlights Revue presentation "The Cellar Tapes", which also...
- East River Creature: Jackie MasonJackie MasonJackie Mason is an American stand-up comedian and movie actor.-Early life:Born Yacov Moshe Maza in Sheboygan, Wisconsin, he grew up on the Lower East Side of Manhattan, New York City....
- Vogon Councillor: Dominic HawksleyDominic HawksleyDominic Hawksley is an actor who appeared in Death Machine and Entropy. His voice work includes Midnight Club: Street Racing, Midnight Club 2, and Max Payne and in the documentary film The Endurance: Shackleton's Legendary Antarctic Expedition...
- Steward: Simon GreenallSimon GreenallSimon Greenall is a British actor, writer and voice artist from Longtown in Cumbria. He has appeared in a wide variety of roles in television, film, radio and the theatre, and is probably best known for his role as Michael in the TV series I'm Alan Partridge and as the voice of headmaster Iqbal in...
- Mrs Kapelsen: Margaret Robertson
- Vogon Clerk: Michael Cule
- Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz: Toby LongworthToby LongworthToby Longworth is a British actor who has appeared on film, radio and television. He is originally from Somerset, where he attended King Edward's School, Bath...
- Wonko the Sane (John Watson): Christian SlaterChristian SlaterChristian Michael Leonard Slater is an American actor. He made his film debut with a small role in The Postman Always Rings Twice before playing a leading role in the 1985 film The Legend of Billie Jean...
- Announcer: John MarshJohn Marsh (newsreader)John Marsh is a freelance newsreader on BBC Radio 2."Boggy", as he has been nicknamed by Terry Wogan, is from Sussex, and was originally a cameraman. However, a radio opportunity came up, and he ended up in BBC Radio 4. In 1982 he transferred to Radio 2. Marsh presented various radio shows, but...
- The Book: William Franklyn
Fenchurch tells Arthur about her revelation at the time of the Vogon fleet's visit. At her urging, Arthur figures out that her feet do not touch the ground, leading him to suspect that she also can fly, and to a romantic tryst on the wing of a Heathrow
London Heathrow Airport
London Heathrow Airport or Heathrow , in the London Borough of Hillingdon, is the busiest airport in the United Kingdom and the third busiest airport in the world in terms of total passenger traffic, handling more international passengers than any other airport around the globe...
-bound airplane.
Curious about the dolphins'
Dolphin
Dolphins are marine mammals that are closely related to whales and porpoises. There are almost forty species of dolphin in 17 genera. They vary in size from and , up to and . They are found worldwide, mostly in the shallower seas of the continental shelves, and are carnivores, mostly eating...
fate, Arthur and Fenchurch head to California
California
California is a state located on the West Coast of the United States. It is by far the most populous U.S. state, and the third-largest by land area...
to visit Wonko the Sane, a scientist considered the foremost expert on the species. Wonko, who lives in an inside-out house called "The Outside of the Asylum" and claims to have had conversations with green-winged angel
Angel
Angels are mythical beings often depicted as messengers of God in the Hebrew and Christian Bibles along with the Quran. The English word angel is derived from the Greek ἄγγελος, a translation of in the Hebrew Bible ; a similar term, ملائكة , is used in the Qur'an...
s, tells Arthur and Fenchurch that they all received the same glass bowls — farewell gifts from the dolphins that, when pinged, play their final message to humans.
Meanwhile, a Vogon inquiry reveals that Earth's location in a plural zone means that any destroyed version is highly likely to be replaced by an alternate one. The Vogons decide that all Earths must still be destroyed, even though the bypass project has been cancelled.
The music that plays when Arthur determines that Fenchurch fly, and again during the end credits, is strongly reminiscient of the style of Dire Straits
Dire Straits
Dire Straits were a British rock band active from 1977 to 1995, composed of Mark Knopfler , his younger brother David Knopfler , John Illsley , and Pick Withers .Dire Straits' sound drew from a variety of musical influences, including jazz, folk, blues, and came closest...
. The book, "So Long, and Thanks for all the Fish", says that Arthur and Fenchurch listened to Dire Straits on a Walkman
Walkman
Walkman is a Sony brand tradename originally used for portable audio cassette, and now used to market Sony's portable audio and video players as well as a line of Sony Ericsson mobile phones...
cassette player, with two sets of headphones, while flying together (inspired by the music that Douglas Adams listened to whilst writing the book).
Fit the Twenty-Second
- The final episode in the adaptation of So Long, and Thanks For All the FishSo Long, and Thanks for All the FishSo Long, and Thanks for All the Fish is the fourth book of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy "trilogy" written by Douglas Adams. Its title is the message left by the dolphins when they departed Planet Earth just before it was demolished to make way for a hyperspace bypass, as described in The...
. - Broadcast on BBC Radio 4, 24 May 2005
- Cast:
- The Book: William Franklyn
- Arthur Dent: Simon Jones
- Ford Prefect: Geoffrey McGivern
- Rob McKenna: Bill Paterson
- Fenchurch: Jane Horrocks
- Tricia McMillan: Sandra Dickinson
- Marvin the Paranoid Android: Stephen MooreStephen Moore (actor)Stephen Moore is an English actor, known for his work on British television since the 1980s. He is known for his appearances in Rock Follies and other TV series such as The Last Place on Earth, the children's series The Queen's Nose and the drama Mersey Beat and the British TV comedy series Solo,...
- The Lajestic Vantrasheel of Lob: Bob Golding
- Stewardess: Alison Pettitt
- Speaking Clock: Brian Cobby
- Nick ClarkeNick ClarkeNicholas Campbell Clarke , was an English radio and television presenter and journalist, primarily known for his work on BBC Radio 4....
: Himself - Charlotte GreenCharlotte GreenCharlotte Green is a British radio continuity announcer and news reader for BBC Radio 4. Since 1998 she has specialised in news reading, including reading the news on Radio 4 flagship Today, and reading news items on The News Quiz...
: Herself - Peter DonaldsonPeter DonaldsonPeter Ian Donaldson is a main newsreader on BBC Radio 4.He was born in Cairo, Egypt and moved to Cyprus in 1952 at the time of the overthrow of King Farouk. He was a frequent listener to the BBC World Service and the BFBS....
: Himself - Sir Patrick MoorePatrick MooreSir Patrick Alfred Caldwell-Moore, CBE, FRS, FRAS is a British amateur astronomer who has attained prominent status in astronomy as a writer, researcher, radio commentator and television presenter of the subject, and who is credited as having done more than any other person to raise the profile of...
: Himself - Announcer: John Marsh
Fenchurch and Arthur return to England
England
England is a country that is part of the United Kingdom. It shares land borders with Scotland to the north and Wales to the west; the Irish Sea is to the north west, the Celtic Sea to the south west, with the North Sea to the east and the English Channel to the south separating it from continental...
, to discover that a large spaceship has landed in Knightsbridge
Knightsbridge
Knightsbridge is a road which gives its name to an exclusive district lying to the west of central London. The road runs along the south side of Hyde Park, west from Hyde Park Corner, spanning the City of Westminster and the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea...
, London
London
London is the capital city of :England and the :United Kingdom, the largest metropolitan area in the United Kingdom, and the largest urban zone in the European Union by most measures. Located on the River Thames, London has been a major settlement for two millennia, its history going back to its...
, bringing Ford Prefect
Ford Prefect (character)
Ford Prefect is a fictional character in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by the British author Douglas Adams. He is the only character other than the protagonist, Arthur Dent, to appear throughout the entire Hitchhiker's saga.-Name:Although Ford had taken great care to blend into Earth...
with it. Fenchurch, Arthur and Ford leave on the ship. Arthur begins to suspect that this is not the Earth he and Ford knew — there is a "Tricia McMillan" on the news, with an American accent and blonde hair (voiced by Sandra Dickinson
Sandra Dickinson
Sandra Dickinson is an American-British actress. She trained at the Central School of Speech and Drama in London. She has often played a dumb blonde with a high-pitched voice in the UK – notably commencing in the St...
, who played Trillian in the TV series), but otherwise identical to the Trillian who left his earth with Zaphod Beeblebrox
Zaphod Beeblebrox
Zaphod Beeblebrox is a fictional character in the various versions of the humorous science fiction story The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams who based him on his Cambridge contemporary, Johnny Simpson....
. Fenchurch and Arthur go to see God's Final Message to His Creation, and bump into Marvin, who is also en route to see it. Marvin is now 37 times older than the universe itself, and needs assistance to read the message, which turns out to be "WE APOLOGISE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE". Declaring that he thinks he feels good about the message, Marvin dies.
This is followed by an event only mentioned in Mostly Harmless
Mostly Harmless
Mostly Harmless is a novel by Douglas Adams and the fifth book in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series. It is described on the cover of the first editions as "The fifth book in the increasingly inaccurately named Hitchhikers Trilogy"...
. Fenchurch asks Arthur to show her the universe. However, on a commercial liner flight, Fenchurch disappears, and the ship's crew deny she ever existed...
At the conclusion of the show's credits, a tie-in website is announced: McKenna's All-Weather Haulage.
The Quintessential Phase
Mostly Harmless
Mostly Harmless is a novel by Douglas Adams and the fifth book in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series. It is described on the cover of the first editions as "The fifth book in the increasingly inaccurately named Hitchhikers Trilogy"...
. This radio series also sees the return of the characters of Max Quordlepleen, Thor, and Zarquon (who all appeared in Fit the Fifth at Milliways), and also Mr. Prosser, from Fit the First. None of these characters appear in the book version of Mostly Harmless.
The start of some of the plot threads from Mostly Harmless were introduced in the Quandary Phase (though they did not appear in So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish
So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish
So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish is the fourth book of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy "trilogy" written by Douglas Adams. Its title is the message left by the dolphins when they departed Planet Earth just before it was demolished to make way for a hyperspace bypass, as described in The...
) - notably the Vogons discovering that Earth had re-appeared and resolving to destroy all versions of it, Arthur having sold his DNA, a mention that Trillian now has a child and is now a reporter. Also the final episode saw the introduction of an alternate version of Trillian, still known as Tricia McMillan, who is identical to the original Trillian except for being blonde and American. This alternate McMillan is played by Sandra Dickinson
Sandra Dickinson
Sandra Dickinson is an American-British actress. She trained at the Central School of Speech and Drama in London. She has often played a dumb blonde with a high-pitched voice in the UK – notably commencing in the St...
, who played Trillian in the television series
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (TV series)
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, is a BBC television adaptation of Douglas Adams's The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy broadcast in January and February 1981 on BBC Two...
.
Fit the Twenty-Third
- Broadcast on BBC Radio 4, 31 May 2005
- Cast:
- The Book: William FranklynWilliam FranklynWilliam Leo Franklyn was a British actor, perhaps best known for voicing the "Schhh... You Know Who" adverts for Schweppes from 1965 to 1973...
- Voice of the Bird: Rula LenskaRula LenskaRula Lenska is an English actress. Best known for her work in the United Kingdom, she is remembered in the United States for a television advert that presented her as a celebrity, even though she was not widely known in the US at the time the advert was produced.She has appeared extensively on...
- Arthur Dent: Simon JonesSimon Jones (actor)Simon Jones is an English actor, most famous for his appearances in the television and radio series of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, in which he played the lead role of Arthur Dent from 1978 to 2005...
- Ford Prefect: Geoffrey McGivernGeoffrey McGivernGeoffrey McGivern is an English actor in film, radio, stage and television. He was born in Balham, South London and grew up in York. There he attended Archbishop Holgate's School, where he was made Head Boy...
- Zaphod Beeblebrox: Mark Wing-DaveyMark Wing-DaveyMark Wing-Davey is a British actor and director.-Early life and career:The son of actor and actress Peter Davey and Anna Wing, Wing-Davey went to school at Woolverstone Hall School, before studying at Cambridge University where he was a member of the Footlights from 1967 to 1970.He had a featured...
- Trillian: Susan SheridanSusan SheridanSusan Sheridan is a British actress. Her voice acting roles include Noddy in the Cosgrove Hall/BBC Television series Noddy's Toyland Adventures, Trillian in the radio series The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and Princess Eilonwy in the animated film The Black Cauldron.She has also provided...
- Tricia McMillan: Sandra DickinsonSandra DickinsonSandra Dickinson is an American-British actress. She trained at the Central School of Speech and Drama in London. She has often played a dumb blonde with a high-pitched voice in the UK – notably commencing in the St...
- Zarniwoop Vann Harl: Jonathan PryceJonathan PryceJonathan Pryce, CBE is a Welsh stage and film actor and singer. After studying at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art and meeting his longtime partner English actress Kate Fahy in 1974, he began his career as a stage actor in the 1970s...
- Eddie the Computer: Roger Gregg
- Grebulons: Andy Taylor and Michael Fenton StevensMichael Fenton StevensMichael Fenton Stevens , sometimes credited as Michael Fenton-Stevens, is a UK actor and comedian, a founder member of The Hee Bee Gee Bees and the voice behind the Spitting Image 1986 number 1 hit "The Chicken Song"...
- Prophet: John ChallisJohn ChallisJohn Challis is an English actor.-Career:He is probably best known for his role as Terrance Aubrey "Boycie" Boyce in the long running comedy show Only Fools and Horses, and its 2005 spin-off, The Green Green Grass....
- Information Creature: Mitch BennMitch BennMitch Benn is a British musician and stand-up comedian known for his humorous songs performed on BBC radio. He is a regular contributor to BBC Radio 4's satirical programme The Now Show, and has hosted other radio shows.Benn has performed at several music festivals, and at the Edinburgh Festival...
- Gail Andrews: Lorelei KingLorelei KingLorelei King is a United States-born actress who has been based in the United Kingdom since 1981. She has narrated audiobooks, acted in radio plays for BBC Radio 4 and appeared on television.- Early life :...
- Colin the Robot: Andrew Secombe
- Announcer: John Marsh
- The Book: William Franklyn
The episode opens with a Grebulon spaceship suffering an accident, and losing nearly all records of what it is and what it should be doing, along with the crew's memories of why. Based on what little remains of their orders, they land on the tenth planet from the Sun, and start to 'monitor' Earth.
After a year's travelling Arthur has returned to the co-ordinates ZZ9 plural Z alpha - where he is expecting to find Earth, and perhaps Fenchurch. In its place, he finds a barely colonised planet called NowWhat, although with the right continents for Earth. The creature at the information desk explains that beings from a "plural" region are not advised to travel in hyperspace due to the risk of slipping in dimensions. He is directed to Hawalius, a planet of oracles.
During a flashback, the introduction between Trillian and Zaphod Beeblebrox is revealed. But on a parallel Earth, an American and blonde Tricia McMillan (who was left behind by her universe's Zaphod) is interviewing Gail Andrews, an astrologer
Astrology
Astrology consists of a number of belief systems which hold that there is a relationship between astronomical phenomena and events in the human world...
, about the effect that the recently-discovered planet Persephone (nicknamed Rupert) will have on astrology. The Grebulons, monitoring this, have an idea.
Later, Andrews and McMillan talk. Andrews has sensed that McMillan is unhappy about the stars - McMillan reveals that she met an alien (Zaphod Beeblebrox) at a party once (a variation of the previous flashback ensues), but didn't get to go with him because she fetched her bag. She also reveals that she just missed out on a TV job in New York City because she did not go back to fetch her bag.
Meanwhile, Zaphod (who does not appear in the book) is attempting to meet Zarniwoop once more, convinced that the Total Perspective Vortex (from Fit the Eighth) was not just his imagination. He has arrived at Saquo-Pilia Hensha, the new location of the offices for The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. He sneaks into the building pretending to deliver pizza, and goes to the editor's office. He meets Zarniwoop Vann Harl, who promises to explain matters.
The story turns back to Arthur, who has arrived at Hawalius. He is told by an oracle that prophecy is a dead business now, due to news reports from the future using time travel. He is given a piece of free advice - "it'll all end in tears, probably already has", and sent on his way to the next cave.
Back at the Hitchhiker's building, Ford is also sneaking in. He climbs into the building through the ventilation system, disables a security robot (which he dubs "Colin") by hardwiring it to be happy all the time, and then gets it to cover his entrance to the editor's office, finding out along the way that the Guide has been taken over and is no longer owned by Megadodo Publications. He too manages to get into the editor's office and finds that Vann Harl has been expecting Ford. The episode ends here on a cliff-hanger.
Fit the Twenty-Fourth
- Broadcast on BBC Radio 4, 7 June 2005
- Cast:
- The Book: William Franklyn
- Voice of the Bird: Rula Lenska
- Arthur Dent: Simon Jones
- Ford Prefect: Geoffrey McGivern
- Zaphod Beeblebrox: Mark Wing-Davey
- Zarniwoop Vann Harl: Jonathan Pryce
- Old Man on the Pole: Saeed JaffreySaeed JaffreySaeed Jaffrey OBE is an Indian-born British actor, who has done numerous British movies. He was born in Malerkotla, Punjab...
- Smelly Photocopier Woman: Miriam MargolyesMiriam MargolyesMiriam Margolyes, OBE is an English actress and voice artist. Her earliest roles were in theatre and after several supporting roles in film and television she won a BAFTA Award for her role in The Age of Innocence .-Early life:...
- Tricia McMillan: Sandra Dickinson
- Stewardess: Lorelei King
- Colin the Robot: Andrew Secombe
- Accountancy Bird and Lift: Roger Gregg
- Grebulon Underling: Philip PopePhilip PopePhilip R. J. Pope is a British composer and actor. He was educated at Downside School and New College, Oxford.-Performer:He appeared in the Oxford Revue in Edinburgh Festival Fringe in 1978 and 1979, both with Angus Deayton...
- Grebulon Lieutenant and Accountancy Bird: Michael Fenton Stevens
- Accountancy Bird: Danny Flint
- Announcer: John Marsh
Arthur is still trying to gain advice on the planet Hawalius, but when he finally leaves the planet, the spaceship he's on develops "a major glitch" just as they jump into hyperspace. Meanwhile, on Earth, Tricia McMillan agrees to go with the Grebulons and work out a system of astrology that would be valid on the planet Persephone (Rupert), in exchange for exclusive rights to the story.
Back in The Guides offices, Zarniwoop Vann Harl, the new editor of the guide, asks Ford to be his restaurant critic. He explains that there is a new Guide, aimed at families rather than hitchhikers, and they plan to make one and sell it in billions of billions of alternate worlds. Ford steals the Dine-a-Charge and Ident-i-Eze cards from him, then hacks into the accountancy system. The universe there is equated with the artificial universe inside Zarniwoop's office, and Ford discovers Zaphod, in a shack by the beach, claiming he has been there on his own for a month. Zaphod claims that the Presidency and the Krikkitmen were just a distraction, and that they have "shrunk the Vortex and given it the voice of that Lintilla chick" in order to create the new Guide. The episode ends with Ford going to floor 23, and being forced to jump out of a window, in order to escape from Zarniwoop Vann Harl, who is revealed to be a disguised Vogon.
Fit the Twenty-Fifth
- Broadcast on BBC Radio 4, 14 June 2005
- Cast:
- The Book: William Franklyn
- Voice of the Bird: Rula Lenska
- Arthur Dent: Simon Jones
- Ford Prefect: Geoffrey McGivern
- Trillian: Susan Sheridan
- Tricia McMillan: Sandra Dickinson
- Random Dent: Sam BéartSamantha BéartSamantha Béart is a British actress.Her first major role was as Random Dent, in the radio version of Mostly Harmless the fifth series of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, as well as short film, feature, theatre and radio parts....
- Old Thrashbarg: Griff Rhys JonesGriff Rhys JonesGriffith "Griff" Rhys Jones is a Welsh comedian, writer, actor, television presenter and personality. Jones came to national attention in the early 1980s for his work in the BBC television comedy sketch shows Not the Nine O'Clock News and Alas Smith and Jones along with his comedy partner Mel Smith...
- Strinder and Doctor: Roger Gregg
- Grebulon Leader: Andy Taylor
- The Patient: Lorelei King
- Grebulon Lieutenant: Michael Fenton Stevens
- Colin the Robot: Andrew Secombe
- Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz: Toby LongworthToby LongworthToby Longworth is a British actor who has appeared on film, radio and television. He is originally from Somerset, where he attended King Edward's School, Bath...
- Speaking Clock: Brian CobbyBrian CobbyBrian Cobby , is a British actor and telephone exchange worker who in 1985 became the first male voice of the British speaking clock.In 2004, Cobby guest-starred in the Doctor Who audio drama The Creed of the Kromon....
- Announcer: John Marsh
Arthur Dent has, since the last episode, settled on the planet his ship crash-landed on, Lamuella, which is partly in a "plural zone". He is occupied as The Sandwich Maker, making sandwiches for the inhabitants of a village from the meat of the Perfectly Normal Beast. Perfectly Normal Beasts are rather like bison, and migrate.
A messenger brings news to the Sandwich Maker that a spaceship has landed on the planet. When Arthur approaches it, he is surprised to see Trillian disembark. Trillian explains that the crash was known about, but nobody has been to able to rescue him for insurance reasons. She explains that she had a daughter, named Random, using sperm sold by Arthur, and has come to drop off her daughter (of indeterminate age due to time travel, but probably around 16), whilst she is off covering a war.
At the Hitchhiker's Guide building, Ford saves himself by using Colin's antigravity systems to get to a ledge on the 13th floor of the building. He bypasses the rocket-proof glass by unlatching the window. Colin notes that the rocket-proof glass was installed after the Frogstar attack on the building (in Fit the Seventh), which Ford knows nothing about.
Meanwhile, on Lamuella, Random is not settling in well. Born on a spaceship going from one place to another place, she doesn't consider anywhere home, and Earth, the world both her parents are from, has been destroyed. A robot courier arrives with a package, for Ford Prefect care of Arthur Dent, which Arthur decides to keep safely closed on the basis that anything that involves Ford Prefect is dangerous. Distraught at her lack of place in the universe, Random runs off with the package into the forest, which is considered haunted by the natives of Lamuella.
Random discovers that the holo-entertainment system from the rocket ship that Arthur Dent crash landed in, which is still functional, as the source of the "hauntings." She opens the package, revealing the Guide Mark II, in the form of a black bird. The Bird explains the nature of probability and that some alternative Earths do exist, and persuades Random to go to one of them. Random challenges the Bird to get her a spaceship there, and just at that moment, one lands. She downs the pilot with a well-thrown rock, and leaves Lamuella.
The alternate Tricia McMillan has been taken to Rupert and meets the Grebulon leader, who explains their problem of having forgotten everything, and their reasoning in trying to gain purpose through astrology. Meanwhile, Arthur has been looking for Random and has seen the spaceship. Searching the forest he stumbles onto the pilot of the ship, Ford Prefect.
Fit the Twenty-Sixth
- The final episode in the adaptation of Mostly HarmlessMostly HarmlessMostly Harmless is a novel by Douglas Adams and the fifth book in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series. It is described on the cover of the first editions as "The fifth book in the increasingly inaccurately named Hitchhikers Trilogy"...
- Broadcast on BBC Radio 4, 21 June 2005
- Cast:
- The Book: William Franklyn and Peter JonesPeter Jones (actor)Peter Jones was an English actor, screenwriter and broadcaster.-Early life and career:Jones was born in Wem, Shropshire and he was educated at the Wem Grammar School and Ellesmere College. He made his first appearance as an actor in Wolverhampton at the age of 16 and then appeared in repertory...
- Arthur Dent: Simon Jones
- Voice of the Bird and Lintilla: Rula LenskaRula LenskaRula Lenska is an English actress. Best known for her work in the United Kingdom, she is remembered in the United States for a television advert that presented her as a celebrity, even though she was not widely known in the US at the time the advert was produced.She has appeared extensively on...
- Ford Prefect: Geoffrey McGivern
- Zaphod Beeblebrox: Mark Wing-Davey
- Old Thrashbarg: Griff Rhys Jones
- Trillian: Susan Sheridan
- Tricia McMillan: Sandra DickinsonSandra DickinsonSandra Dickinson is an American-British actress. She trained at the Central School of Speech and Drama in London. She has often played a dumb blonde with a high-pitched voice in the UK – notably commencing in the St...
- Random: Sam Bèart
- Marvin the Paranoid Android: Stephen MooreStephen Moore (actor)Stephen Moore is an English actor, known for his work on British television since the 1980s. He is known for his appearances in Rock Follies and other TV series such as The Last Place on Earth, the children's series The Queen's Nose and the drama Mersey Beat and the British TV comedy series Solo,...
- Bartender: Roger Gregg
- Vogon Helmsman: Michael Cule
- Thor: Dominic Hawksley
- Grebulon Leader: Andy Taylor
- Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz and Wowbagger: Toby Longworth
- Grebulon Lieutenant: Mike Fenton Stevens
- Elvis: Philip Pope
- The Newsreader: Neil SleatNeil SleatNeil Sleat is a newsreader and continuity announcer on BBC Radio 4. After joining the BBC as a trainee engineer, working as a studio manager and then an announcer/newsreader on the BBC World Service, he joined Radio 4 as an announcer/newsreader in 1998. He has also produced many BBC Radio 4 trailers...
- Max Quordlepleen: Roy HuddRoy HuddRoy Hudd, OBE is an English comedian, actor, radio host and author, and an authority on the history of music hall entertainment.- Early life :...
- Runner: Tom Maggs
- Agrajag: Douglas AdamsDouglas AdamsDouglas Noel Adams was an English writer and dramatist. He is best known as the author of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, which started life in 1978 as a BBC radio comedy before developing into a "trilogy" of five books that sold over 15 million copies in his lifetime, a television...
- Fenchurch: Jane HorrocksJane HorrocksBarbara Jane Horrocks is an English voice, stage, screen and television actress, voice artist, musician, and singer. She is best known for her role as "Bubble" in the TV series Absolutely Fabulous as well as her distinctive voice....
- Announcer: John Marsh
- The Book: William Franklyn and Peter Jones
The episode opens with Ford and Arthur on Lamuella. Ford explains about the new guide and its ability to use Reverse Temporal Engineering in order to arrange circumstances for the benefit of its user. Ford's spaceship itself he obtained by jumping from a building and falling into it, its previous occupant having accidentally pressed the wrong sort of eject button. Tracing
back, he discovered that a trail of coincidences led back to the new Guide, which was responsible. With Random stealing the ship and the Bird, they are stuck, with no immediate way to get offworld to prevent the Vogons from doing whatever it is they intend to do.
They decide that the Perfectly Normal Beasts are the best way off the planet. The migration has already started, and this sees them appear at one point, run past Lamuella, and then disappear again, evidence of a dimensional shift. Old Thrashbarg helps them slow a Perfectly Normal Beast long enough for them to get on to it, and tells them that they
will be entering the Domain of the King.
On the alternate Earth, Tricia McMillan has returned from Rupert, and is lamenting that none of the footage she has taken is usable. She is interrupted by a member of the hotel staff, telling her that a spaceship has landed in Regent's Park, and the young girl on the ship is demanding to see her.
Meanwhile, the Grebulon leader is still unhappy. Whilst they now have horoscopes, he now knows that unless he takes positive action, then due to the Earth rising, he will have a very bad month. He decides to investigate the possible astrological uses of the Grebulon's gun turrets.
Arthur and Ford arrive at the Domain of the King Bar and Grill, which has numerous spaceships outside of it, including a large pink one. Inside, they have a couple of bacon rolls, whilst Ford buys the pink spaceship from the bar singer, Elvis Presley. They then depart for Earth.
After arriving on Earth, they find that Tricia McMillan has taken Random to a club, and go there themselves. A strange man confronts Arthur, and says "I told you not to come here!" Arthur and Ford find Random, along with Tricia and Trillian (who had arrived in the meantime on a third spaceship). Random is holding a gun and threatening to shoot. Trillian explains they must leave the planet immediately, as the Grebulons (a missing spaceship from the war she was sent to cover) are about to destroy the planet, once again.
Arthur explains it is impossible for him to die (and hence for the planet destroyed), but the strange man goes for Random's gun and she ends up shooting him. Trillian points out the name of the club to Arthur: Stavro Müller Beta. The man was Agrajag, and Arthur is now mortal. The Earth is destroyed. The book version of Mostly Harmless ends here.
After a while, the Guide entry on Babel fish
Races and species in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
This is a list of races, fauna, and flora featured in various incarnations of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.-Aldebarans:...
is played. At the end it notes that in addition to their translation abilities, they are capable of shifting sideways in probability when needed, bringing their host and sometimes other people in the vicinity, with them, a trick they had also
taught to the dolphins in exchange for information about where a good time might be had.
In the extended edition, there then follow three alternate possibilities. The first, continuing from the end of Fit the Twelfth, sees Arthur and Lintilla and several of her clones alone, save for Eddie, and happy on the starship Heart of Gold.
The second goes back to the very start of Fit the First, and sees Arthur lying in front of the bulldozer about to knock down his house and sparring with Mr Prosser, with Fenchurch beside him and insulting Prosser.
The third ending, which was used in the broadcast version, sees Arthur, Ford, Random, Zaphod and a merged Trillian in the Restaurant at the End of the Universe (at Table 42). Max Quordlepleen introduces Zarquon. Meanwhile, Trillian is getting off again with Thor, and Random (a vegetarian) is having trouble with the Dish of the Day and wants a vegetable option.
It is discovered that Fenchurch is waitressing at the Restaurant. She had an experience similar to Arthur's - from her perspective he had been the one to vanish. She has been waiting for him at Milliway's since it seemed like a good place, and agrees to go travelling with Arthur once more. She has brought a phone call for Zaphod, from Marvin, who has been working at the Restaurant now for thousands of years (having discovered that his warranty hadn't run out) and has had a promotion, and now has his own bucket. Zaphod tells him to give the Heart of Gold a hot wax.
Zarquon the Prophet makes an appearance and is about to address all those who took his name in vain when Wowbagger appears to insult him. The prophet insults him back and removes his immortality, to applause from the audience (since he immediately dies).
Finally, after the credits, Jeltz is able to tick the box that he is supposed to tick after he has destroyed the Earth and Arthur goes flying with Fenchurch.
Notably, in the latest Hitchiker book, And Another Thing...
And Another Thing... (novel)
And Another Thing… is the title of the sixth installment of Douglas Adams' The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy "trilogy". The book, written by Eoin Colfer, author of the Artemis Fowl series, was published on the thirtieth anniversary of the first book, 12 October 2009, in hardback. It was...
by Eoin Colfer
Eoin Colfer
Eoin Colfer is an Irish author. He is most famous as the author of the Artemis Fowl series, but he has also written other successful books. His novels have been compared to the works of J. K. Rowling...
, the dream sequence the Hitchhiker's Guide Mk.2 puts Trillian into involves the Babel Fish teleporting her and the other main characters away from the destroyed Earth to Milliways, similar to one of the endings. Van Harl is also mentioned as Zarniwoop Van Harl, among other nods to the radio series such as a reference to Brontitall and the bird people from the Secondary Phase that were never put into the novels.