The Cottage
Encyclopedia
The Cottage is a 2008 British darkly comic
Black comedy
A black comedy, or dark comedy, is a comic work that employs black humor or gallows humor. The definition of black humor is problematic; it has been argued that it corresponds to the earlier concept of gallows humor; and that, as humor has been defined since Freud as a comedic act that anesthetizes...

 horror film
Horror film
Horror films seek to elicit a negative emotional reaction from viewers by playing on the audience's most primal fears. They often feature scenes that startle the viewer through the means of macabre and the supernatural, thus frequently overlapping with the fantasy and science fiction genres...

, written and directed by Paul Andrew Williams
Paul Andrew Williams
Paul Andrew Williams is a British film writer and director, born in Portsmouth, England in 1973. He won the New Director's Award for his film London to Brighton in the 2006 Edinburgh International Film Festival.-Career:...

.

Plot

Two brothers, David and Peter (Andy Serkis
Andy Serkis
Andrew Clement G. "Andy" Serkis is an English actor, director and author. He is popularly known for playing Gollum in The Lord of the Rings film trilogy, for which he earned several award nominations, including the Saturn Award for Best Supporting Actor for his performance in The Two Towers...

 and Reece Shearsmith
Reece Shearsmith
Reeson "Reece" Shearsmith is an English actor and writer. He is most famous for his work as part of The League of Gentlemen along with fellow performers Steve Pemberton, Mark Gatiss and co-writer Jeremy Dyson.-Early life:...

), kidnap Tracey (Jennifer Ellison
Jennifer Ellison
Jennifer Lesley Ellison is an English actress, glamour model, television personality, dancer and singer...

), the stepdaughter of Arnie (Steven Berkoff
Steven Berkoff
Steven Berkoff is an English actor, writer and director. Best known for his performance as General Orlov in the James Bond film Octopussy, he is typically cast in villanous roles, such as Lt...

), an underworld crime boss. After a heated conversation at the kitchen table, Peter and David retrieve the unconscious Tracey from the car boot. As they try to get her upstairs Peter gets side tracked by her chest not realizing that she has woken up. She headbutts him several times and Peter screams with pain. David manages to get her off him and has to fix Peter's now bloody and broken nose after tying her to the bed frame. The pair hold her for ransom in a secluded country cottage. Things begin to go wrong when Arnie's dimwitted son and stepbrother of Tracey, Andrew (Steve O'Donnell
Steven O'Donnell (actor)
Steven O'Donnell is an English actor.Before O'Donnell became an actor he worked for 5 years in Charing Cross Hospital as a Scientific Officer in a medical laboratory. He has appeared in several comedies with Rik Mayall...

) delivers the ransom. Instead of money, the bag is filled with napkins. David and Peter realize that not only have they been deceived, but Arnie knew about Andrew's involvement in the scheme all along.

After Peter breaks David's phone by accidentally dropping it in water, David goes down to the village to use a telephone box to call in another ransom. While there, he happens across some sinister locals who, upon learning that he and his companions are staying at the Barnarby Cottage, warn him to keep his doors locked and not to wander. Disturbed, David returns to the cottage to find that Tracey — who has proven to be highly intelligent and resourceful, albeit foul-mouthed and somewhat psychopathic — has incapacitated Andrew and abducted Peter.

Some distance away, Peter and Tracey arrive at an ominous looking farm. Upon entering the house, they soon discover it to be the home of an insane and hideously deformed serial-killer known only as the Farmer.

After opening a trapdoor in the kitchen to reveal a secret staircase leading down into the cellar, Tracey is stabbed through the stomach by the Farmer. Terrified, Peter flees upstairs and jumps out of the bedroom window. Tracey survives her injury and calls out for Peter to help her escape too, all with the Farmer in pursuit. Peter manages to incapacitate the Farmer with a shovel, saving Tracey's life. Tracey then urges Peter to kill the madman before he regains consciousness, but he is reluctant.

As the two of them argue, the Farmer comes to and quickly amputates the end of Peter's foot with the shovel. As he is about to kill Peter, Tracey begins mocking him, ordering him to hurry up and do it. Frustrated, the Farmer suddenly turns around and gruesomely decapitates her at mouth-level with the shovel. He then knocks out a hysterical Peter and hangs him by his jacket from a meat-hook in the shed.

Meanwhile, Andrew and David, discover Andrew's hairdresser Steven (Simon Schatzberger
Simon Schatzberger
Simon Schatzberger is an English television actor of Jewish origin. He has appeared on several television programmes in both guest roles and starring roles, including Your Mother Wouldn't Like It, Press Gang, Audrey and Friends, Comin' Atcha!, Band of Brothers, Black Books, Doctors and The Cottage...

), dying from being disemboweled, before setting off through the woods in search of Peter and Tracey, when they stumble across the dead body of one of Arnie's henchmen, who has had his throat slit. Soon after, they arrive at the farm, where they discover a shed full of severed heads. David and Andrew hurry outside, where the Farmer pins David to the ground with a pickaxe
Pickaxe
A pickaxe or pick is a hand tool with a hard head attached perpendicular to the handle.Some people make the distinction that a pickaxe has a head with a pointed end and a flat end, and a pick has both ends pointed, or only one end; but most people use the words to mean the same thing.The head is...

 through his leg. He then chases Andrew into the nearby horse stables, where he viciously attacks him with a hunting knife before ripping his spine
Vertebral column
In human anatomy, the vertebral column is a column usually consisting of 24 articulating vertebrae, and 9 fused vertebrae in the sacrum and the coccyx. It is situated in the dorsal aspect of the torso, separated by intervertebral discs...

 out.

Peter comes to and manages to release himself from the hook and crawl across the ground to David. After making up for a lifetime of squabbling, they vow to fight on, and drag themselves back into the farmhouse in search of a phone. The Farmer soon reappears, tossing Andrew's severed head and spine through the window. David attempts to defend his brother, only to be suddenly impaled by The Farmer with the pickaxe. Outraged at seeing his brother murdered, Peter begins to throttle the Farmer to death by strangling him with a length of rope.

The Farmer manages to toss Peter down into the cellar and slam the door shut. But Peter still has the end of the rope, and he continues tugging on it, eventually causing the Farmer to collapse on top of the trap door. With the weight of the body on top of the door, Peter is unable to escape. With nowhere else to go, he descends down into the cellar. He flicks on his cigarette lighter to reveal the Farmer's equally insane and hideous wife, son and daughters standing all around him. He mutters defeated "You must be joking" before they set upon him, the lighter goes out and Peter screams as they attack him.

After the credits, Arnie and his right-hand men are seen arriving at the farm. As they step up to the front door, the Farmer suddenly rushes out at them with the pickaxe raised above his head. As he swings at them with it, the image freezes and the screen fades to black.

Cast

  • Andy Serkis
    Andy Serkis
    Andrew Clement G. "Andy" Serkis is an English actor, director and author. He is popularly known for playing Gollum in The Lord of the Rings film trilogy, for which he earned several award nominations, including the Saturn Award for Best Supporting Actor for his performance in The Two Towers...

     as David
  • Reece Shearsmith
    Reece Shearsmith
    Reeson "Reece" Shearsmith is an English actor and writer. He is most famous for his work as part of The League of Gentlemen along with fellow performers Steve Pemberton, Mark Gatiss and co-writer Jeremy Dyson.-Early life:...

     as Peter
  • Steve O'Donnell
    Steven O'Donnell (actor)
    Steven O'Donnell is an English actor.Before O'Donnell became an actor he worked for 5 years in Charing Cross Hospital as a Scientific Officer in a medical laboratory. He has appeared in several comedies with Rik Mayall...

     as Andrew
  • Jennifer Ellison
    Jennifer Ellison
    Jennifer Lesley Ellison is an English actress, glamour model, television personality, dancer and singer...

     as Tracey
  • David Legeno
    Dave Legeno
    David "Dave" Legeno is an English actor, boxer and mixed martial artist.-Life and career:Legeno was born in Marylebone, London, England. He has been quoted as saying that he wanted to act since he read Shakespeare's Richard III...

     as The Farmer
  • Steven Berkoff
    Steven Berkoff
    Steven Berkoff is an English actor, writer and director. Best known for his performance as General Orlov in the James Bond film Octopussy, he is typically cast in villanous roles, such as Lt...

     as Arnie (uncredited)
  • Johnny Harris
    Johnny Harris (actor)
    Johnny Harris is an English actor.Harris was born in Lambeth, London. He left school with no qualifications. He won the Junior ABA National Boxing title aged 16, and lived in Paris, France between the ages of 17 and 20 before returning to London and embarking on an acting career.Upon completion of...

     as Smoking Joe (uncredited)
  • Danny Nussbaum as Man in Suit
  • Logan Wong as Muk Li San
  • Jonathan Chan-Pensley as Chun Yo Fu
  • Simon Schatzberger
    Simon Schatzberger
    Simon Schatzberger is an English television actor of Jewish origin. He has appeared on several television programmes in both guest roles and starring roles, including Your Mother Wouldn't Like It, Press Gang, Audrey and Friends, Comin' Atcha!, Band of Brothers, Black Books, Doctors and The Cottage...

     as Steven
  • James Bierman as Bouncer
  • Cat Meacher as Club Receptionist
  • Doug Bradley
    Doug Bradley
    Douglas William "Doug" Bradley is an English actor best known for his roles in the Hellraiser film series.- Early life :Bradley was born in Liverpool, England...

     as Villager with Dog
  • Katy Murphy
    Katy Murphy
    Katy Murphy is a Scottish actress who has appeared in Mike and Angelo, Spatz, B&B, The Steamie, The River, Takin' Over the Asylum, Casualty and perhaps most memorably Tutti Frutti. She played the part of Janet in the Radio 4 series Adventures of a Black Bag, and her most recent performance was in...

     as Farmer's Wife
  • Georgia Groome
    Georgia Groome
    -Career:Groome was one of the eight young adventurers on Serious Amazon in 2006 for CBBC. Groome had a well received starring role in the 2008 film Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging....

     as Farmer's Daughter 1
  • Eden Watson as Farmer's Daughter 2

Reception

The Cottage received good reviews from critics, including a good score on Rotten Tomatoes
Rotten Tomatoes
Rotten Tomatoes is a website devoted to reviews, information, and news of films—widely known as a film review aggregator. Its name derives from the cliché of audiences throwing tomatoes and other vegetables at a poor stage performance...

, attaining 71%.
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