"The Abstinence" is the 143rd episode

Episode

An episode is a part of a dramatic work such as a serial television or radio program. An episode is a part of a sequence of a body of work, akin to a chapter of a book. The term sometimes applies to works based on other forms of mass media as well, as in Star Wars...

 of the American

United States

The United States of America is a federal constitutional republic comprising fifty states and a federal district...

 sitcom Seinfeld

Seinfeld

Seinfeld is an American television sitcom that originally aired on NBC from July 5, 1989, to May 14, 1998, lasting nine seasons, and is now in syndication. It was created by Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld, the latter starring as a fictionalized version of himself...

. This was the 9th episode for the 8th season. It was originally broadcast on the NBC

NBC

The National Broadcasting Company is an American commercial broadcasting television network and former radio network headquartered in the GE Building in New York City's Rockefeller Center with additional major offices near Los Angeles and in Chicago...

 network on November 21, 1996.

Plot

George

George Costanza

George Louis Costanza is a character in the American television sitcom Seinfeld , played by Jason Alexander. He has variously been described as a "short, stocky, slow-witted, bald man" , "Lord of the Idiots" , and as "the greatest sitcom character of all time"...

's girlfriend has mononucleosis

Mononucleosis

Mononucleosis , is a disease most commonly caused by the Epstein-Barr virus . The EBV virus affects the lymphocytes- white blood cells that battle infections by attacking antibodies. Mononucleosis can also be caused by Cytomegalovirus , a herpes virus most commonly found in body fluids...

, so he can't have sex with her for six weeks. Elaine

Elaine Benes

Elaine Marie Benes is a fictional character on the American television sitcom Seinfeld , played by Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Elaine's best friend is her ex-boyfriend Jerry Seinfeld; she is also good friends with George Costanza and Cosmo Kramer...

 has met a doctor who has almost gotten his license to practice. Jerry

Jerry Seinfeld (character)

Jerome "Jerry" Seinfeld is the main protagonist of the American television sitcom Seinfeld . The straight man among his group of friends, this semi-fictionalized version of comedian Jerry Seinfeld was named after, co-created by, based on, and played by Seinfeld himself.The series revolves around...

 agrees to appear at career day at his former junior high school, but he is bumped back because the children love the zoo worker, then when he is about to go on there is a fire drill. Kramer

Cosmo Kramer

Cosmo Kramer, usually referred to as simply "Kramer", is a fictional character on the American television sitcom Seinfeld , played by Michael Richards...

 lights up a cigar in Monk's and is asked to leave by Larry. He meets others on the street who face his dilemma so he opens up his apartment as a smoking lounge.

Jerry's agent gets him a whole assembly at the school. George's lack of sex makes his mind sharper; he finds he is learning new things quickly and is now "smart". Elaine learns how much her doctor boyfriend doesn't know about medicine when he is unable to help a diner customer experiencing a medical emergency. She uses George's technique of abstinence to help him study to get his license, but in the process she becomes stupid. Later in the episode, she begs Jerry to have sex with her again, because she wants to clear her mind. When Jerry turns her down because the situation is "too weird", she then asks him if Kramer is home.

Because Kramer has been smoking heavily, his face becomes leathery and "hideous". Jerry struggles to figure out how to fill two hours in front of a junior high crowd. George however creates a presentation for Jerry's assembly. He uses his newfound intellect to give batting advice to New York Yankee players Derek Jeter

Derek Jeter

Derek Sanderson Jeter is an American baseball shortstop who has played 17 years in Major League Baseball for the New York Yankees. A twelve-time All-Star and five-time World Series champion, Jeter's clubhouse presence, on-field leadership, hitting ability, and baserunning have made him a central...

 and Bernie Williams

Bernie Williams

Bernabé Williams Figueroa Jr. is a former Major League Baseball outfielder and Puerto Rican musician.-Early life:...

, and to learn Portuguese

Portuguese language

Portuguese is a Romance language that arose in the medieval Kingdom of Galicia, nowadays Galicia and Northern Portugal. The southern part of the Kingdom of Galicia became independent as the County of Portugal in 1095...

. Kramer sees his lawyer Jackie Chiles

Jackie Chiles

Jackie Chiles is a fictional character portrayed by American actor Phil Morris in the NBC sitcom Seinfeld. He appears in the series' seventh through ninth seasons as Cosmo Kramer's lawyer.-Character:...

 about a case against the tobacco company for ruining his good looks, as his looks are his livelihood. He gets a settlement without Jackie's input; it turns out he gets a billboard with his face on it in Times Square

Times Square

Times Square is a major commercial intersection in the borough of Manhattan in New York City, at the junction of Broadway and Seventh Avenue and stretching from West 42nd to West 47th Streets...

.

George calculates the odds of having sex with a Portuguese

Portuguese people

The Portuguese are a nation and ethnic group native to the country of Portugal, in the west of the Iberian peninsula of south-west Europe. Their language is Portuguese, and Roman Catholicism is the predominant religion....

 waitress, and concludes that statistically, he has to do it. He arrives at the school and meets Jerry, behaving stupidly. Jerry realizes that George has had sex, so he can no longer go do his presentation; Jerry goes out and is greeted by boos. Elaine's boyfriend gets his license and dumps her, leaving her sexually frustrated. Later, talk show host David Letterman

David Letterman

David Michael Letterman is an American television host and comedian. He hosts the late night television talk show, Late Show with David Letterman, broadcast on CBS. Letterman has been a fixture on late night television since the 1982 debut of Late Night with David Letterman on NBC...

 informs Jerry his appearance has been canceled because he bombed at the high school assembly.

Production

This episode was filmed in front of a live audience on November 6, 1996. Wade Boggs

Wade Boggs

Wade Anthony Boggs is an American former professional baseball third baseman. He spent his 18-year baseball career primarily with the Boston Red Sox, but also played for the New York Yankees and Tampa Bay Devil Rays...

 was originally included in the script but didn't make it into the filming. David Letterman's cameo was filmed at his office at the Ed Sullivan Theater

Ed Sullivan Theater

The Ed Sullivan Theater, located at 1697-1699 Broadway between West 53rd and West 54th, in Manhattan, is a venerable radio and television studio in New York City...

 in New York.

Cultural references

Jerry and George's conversation in the beginning of the episode mimics what happened during the Andes Flight Disaster. Odenkirk's line "I'm not really a doctor" was later mirrored in a Mr. Show

Mr. Show

Mr. Show with Bob and David is an American sketch comedy series featuring former Saturday Night Live writer/actor Bob Odenkirk and stand up comedian/actor David Cross...

sketch from the episode "Show Me Your Weenis!". In the sketch David Cross

David Cross

David Cross is an American actor, writer and stand-up comedian perhaps best known for his work on HBO's sketch comedy series Mr...

tells him "So you're not really a doctor!" and Odenkirk, embarrassed, replies with "I am now."