TV Offal
Encyclopedia
TV Offal was a British television comedy sketch/archive series that ran on Channel 4
, from October 1997 to June 1998. It was written and narrated by comedian and writer Victor Lewis-Smith
, who shared writing duties with Paul Sparks. It ran for only seven episodes (including the pilot), and is probably best known for first airing the uncensored Rainbow sketch on national television, as well as the "Gay Daleks" sketches.
The series covered generally obscure, rare or offensive excerpts of television footage from numerous media archives, usually accompanied by Lewis-Smith's biting commentary and cynical approach to what was being shown. Lewis-Smith used a variety of categories on the show to accompany a particular selection of programme footage. The show was also characterised by its musical score of campy jingles introducing the regular segments. These were produced in the 1980s style by the Dallas-based radio ID company JAM Creative Productions
.
The programme was made by Associated-Rediffusion
, the name of a TV company formerly serving the London area from 1955 to 1964 (and continuing as Rediffusion, London until 1968). Lewis-Smith bought the name for his own production company when he discovered that it was dormant.http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/guide/articles/t/tvoffal_66602210.shtml
TV Offal has never been fully repeated, although a "best of" series entitled TV Offal Prime Cuts was aired in November 1999.
, who's often shown conversing with either Lewis-Smith or one of the gay daleks (who's convinced he's really Robert T. Ironside
and so pesters Hawking for an autograph).
Honest Obituary: A humorous look at the death of either a current or generally obscure celebrity personality's "demise" followed by a satirical account of his/her contributions to the viewing public (which usually derails them) before revealing the exaggerated cause of death. The first few lines of the obituary are a list of very harsh criticisms, usually followed by "his/her critics were less kind". The deaths are usually announced using a piece of dubbed dialogue of the celebrity's name, mixing into BBC News footage of newsreader (Michael Buerk
) saying "... who died today" in a bitter and traumatized manner. (From the news reports broadcast on the day that Princess Diana died.) Obituaries included Noel Edmonds
, Andrew Lloyd-Webber
, Melvyn Bragg
, Nigel Kennedy
, Jeremy Clarkson
, Vanessa Feltz
, Two Fat Ladies
and Jeremy Beadle
.
Kamikaze Karaoke: Usually involves Lewis-Smith imitating various musicians to interpret how they sound "to him", usually mocking them in the process
Assassination Of The Week: This segment usually had two parts, with one part leading to the commercial breaks, challenging the viewer to depend on their memory to guess the outcome of a genuine assassination attempt aired on the show, and the second part resolving the outcome and whenever or not the victim survived or was killed ("did they live or are they worm food"). Those featured were Inejiro Asanuma
and Luis Donaldo Colosio
(both killed), Park Chung-Hee
(who survived but whose wife Yuk Young-soo
was killed in the attempt), Imelda Marcos
(who survived), John F Kennedy (who was killed but whom Lewis-Smith said had survived in a fictitious "what really happened" segment) and Prince Charles
(who survived but whom Lewis-Smith said was killed in an equally fictitious segment). In between the setting of the question and the reveal of the answer, viewers were usually treated to a bizarrely outdated television advertisement, such as an ad for the Daily Mirror produced in about 1960 (using the slogan "the Daily Mirror backs the young!" and ridiculing the "old guard" of British society) and an advert for the now discontinued Diocalm. The section was dropped from one episode when TV Offal instead used the original break titles from an episode of The Golden Shot
during a piece satirising the game show.
Crappy TV Logo Of The Week: A piece mocking the most under budget and mismanaged of obscure television studios, produced by students or otherwise.
Fantasy Programme Of The Week: A "What If..." segment pondering aloud what certain celebrities would be doing if they chose a different action to affect the outcome of their productions, ranging from Roy Walker
creating dirty versions of Catchphrase
(a commentary on the infamous "Snake Charmer" outtake) to Richard Baker
being drunk on the Last Night of the Proms ("which of course...he wasn't" claimed a sarcastic Lewis-Smith whilst introducing the segment).
The Pilots That Crashed: Rare and unaired pilots produced for possible series. Included such gems as "The Development of the Test Card", "Tubby the Tumor" and "It'll All End In Tiaras", a satire on monarchy.
The Gay Daleks: A series of crass interactions between two Michael Portillo
obsessed, gay Daleks, traveling in a space/time machine called "The Turdis" (a play on the TARDIS
), during the sketches, the pair treat their relationship with an argumentative, tense approach which often is ridden with their addressing relationship problems, crude bickering, and finally becoming so turned on by their arguing, that they begin to orgasm, leading to a variation of the classic Dalek catchphrase "Exterminate", now "Exsperminate". In the pilot episode, dubbed clips from the 1979 serial Destiny of the Daleks
were used. A later attempt at reviving the Gay Daleks as an animated series was blocked by the Terry Nation
Estate.
Satirical Song in the '80s Genre: Each episode would contain a song about a celebrity, with the exception of one song about 'Selling God'. "Its nice being [NAME]" The tune itself was always the same, but the lyrics were changed depending on the celebrity. The song would always end with the line: "..but now we must stop as our lawyer says that [NAME] will sue". Ironically one of the songs ("It's Nice Being Esther
") was edited on legal advice when included as part of TV Offal Prime Cuts in 1999. Celebrities targeted included Esther Rantzen, Sir David Attenborough, Dale Winton
, Loyd Grossman
, Carol Vorderman
, Chris Evans, and 'Selling God' which featured a variety of 'has-been celebs'.
The show would close with Lewis-Smith prank calling a variety of people, such as Hughie Green
, Mary Whitehouse
or the offices of Carlton Television
, with initial good graces, before becoming more and more rude as the conversation continued.
Channel 4
Channel 4 is a British public-service television broadcaster which began working on 2 November 1982. Although largely commercially self-funded, it is ultimately publicly owned; originally a subsidiary of the Independent Broadcasting Authority , the station is now owned and operated by the Channel...
, from October 1997 to June 1998. It was written and narrated by comedian and writer Victor Lewis-Smith
Victor Lewis-Smith
Victor Lewis-Smith is a British satirist, producer, critic and prankster. He is known for his sarcasm and biting criticism.-Radio and recordings:...
, who shared writing duties with Paul Sparks. It ran for only seven episodes (including the pilot), and is probably best known for first airing the uncensored Rainbow sketch on national television, as well as the "Gay Daleks" sketches.
The series covered generally obscure, rare or offensive excerpts of television footage from numerous media archives, usually accompanied by Lewis-Smith's biting commentary and cynical approach to what was being shown. Lewis-Smith used a variety of categories on the show to accompany a particular selection of programme footage. The show was also characterised by its musical score of campy jingles introducing the regular segments. These were produced in the 1980s style by the Dallas-based radio ID company JAM Creative Productions
JAM Creative Productions
JAM Creative Productions, Inc., is an American company that produces radio jingles, promo music for television, and commercial jingles for advertisers. It has made more radio jingles than any other jingle company and has become part of American pop culture....
.
The programme was made by Associated-Rediffusion
Associated-Rediffusion
Associated-Rediffusion, later Rediffusion, London, was the British ITV contractor for London and parts of the surrounding counties, on weekdays between 1954 and 29 July 1968. Transmissions started on 22 September 1955.-Formation:...
, the name of a TV company formerly serving the London area from 1955 to 1964 (and continuing as Rediffusion, London until 1968). Lewis-Smith bought the name for his own production company when he discovered that it was dormant.http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/guide/articles/t/tvoffal_66602210.shtml
TV Offal has never been fully repeated, although a "best of" series entitled TV Offal Prime Cuts was aired in November 1999.
Regular segments
The opening to each episode involved a guest appearance from Professor Stephen HawkingStephen Hawking
Stephen William Hawking, CH, CBE, FRS, FRSA is an English theoretical physicist and cosmologist, whose scientific books and public appearances have made him an academic celebrity...
, who's often shown conversing with either Lewis-Smith or one of the gay daleks (who's convinced he's really Robert T. Ironside
Ironside (TV series)
Ironside is a Universal television series which ran on NBC from September 14, 1967 to January 16, 1975. The show starred Raymond Burr as the wheelchair-using Chief of Detectives, Robert T. Ironside. The character's debut was in a TV-movie on March 28, 1967. The original title of the show in the...
and so pesters Hawking for an autograph).
Honest Obituary: A humorous look at the death of either a current or generally obscure celebrity personality's "demise" followed by a satirical account of his/her contributions to the viewing public (which usually derails them) before revealing the exaggerated cause of death. The first few lines of the obituary are a list of very harsh criticisms, usually followed by "his/her critics were less kind". The deaths are usually announced using a piece of dubbed dialogue of the celebrity's name, mixing into BBC News footage of newsreader (Michael Buerk
Michael Buerk
Michael Duncan Buerk is a BBC journalist and newsreader, most famous for his reporting of the Ethiopian famine on 23 October 1984, which inspired the Band Aid charity record.-Early life:...
) saying "... who died today" in a bitter and traumatized manner. (From the news reports broadcast on the day that Princess Diana died.) Obituaries included Noel Edmonds
Noel Edmonds
Noel Ernest Edmonds, is an English broadcaster and executive, who made his name as a DJ on BBC Radio 1 in the UK. He has presented many light entertainment television programmes, including Multi-Coloured Swap Shop, Top of the Pops, The Late, Late Breakfast Show, Telly Addicts, Noel's Saturday...
, Andrew Lloyd-Webber
Andrew Lloyd Webber
Andrew Lloyd Webber, Baron Lloyd-Webber is an English composer of musical theatre.Lloyd Webber has achieved great popular success in musical theatre. Several of his musicals have run for more than a decade both in the West End and on Broadway. He has composed 13 musicals, a song cycle, a set of...
, Melvyn Bragg
Melvyn Bragg
Melvyn Bragg, Baron Bragg FRSL FRTS FBA, FRS FRSA is an English broadcaster and author best known for his work with the BBC and for presenting the The South Bank Show...
, Nigel Kennedy
Nigel Kennedy
Nigel Kennedy is a British born violinist and violist. He made his early career in the classical field, and he has performed and recorded most of the major violin concerti...
, Jeremy Clarkson
Jeremy Clarkson
Jeremy Charles Robert Clarkson is an English broadcaster, journalist and writer who specialises in motoring. He is best known for his role on the BBC TV show Top Gear along with co-presenters Richard Hammond and James May...
, Vanessa Feltz
Vanessa Feltz
Vanessa Jane Feltz is an English television personality, broadcaster and journalist. She currently presents an early morning radio show on BBC Radio 2, a mid morning phone-in show on BBC London 94.9. In 2011, she started hosting The Vanessa Show on Channel 5. The first series ended on June 24th...
, Two Fat Ladies
Two Fat Ladies
Two Fat Ladies was a BBC Two television cooking programme starring Clarissa Dickson Wright and Jennifer Paterson. It originally ran for four seasons, from 1996 to 1999. The show was produced by the BBC and also appeared on the Food Network in the U.S. and on the Australian Broadcasting Corporation...
and Jeremy Beadle
Jeremy Beadle
Jeremy James Anthony Gibson-Beadle MBE was an English television presenter, writer and producer. During the 1980s, he was a regular face on British television and in two years appeared 50 weeks of the year. His shows regularly topped the charts beating Coronation Street and EastEnders on one...
.
Kamikaze Karaoke: Usually involves Lewis-Smith imitating various musicians to interpret how they sound "to him", usually mocking them in the process
Assassination Of The Week: This segment usually had two parts, with one part leading to the commercial breaks, challenging the viewer to depend on their memory to guess the outcome of a genuine assassination attempt aired on the show, and the second part resolving the outcome and whenever or not the victim survived or was killed ("did they live or are they worm food"). Those featured were Inejiro Asanuma
Inejiro Asanuma
Inejiro Asanuma was a Japanese politician, and head of the Japanese Socialist Party. Asanuma was noted for speaking publicly about Socialism and economic and cultural opportunities...
and Luis Donaldo Colosio
Luis Donaldo Colosio
Luis Donaldo Colosio Murrieta was a Mexican politician, and PRI presidential candidate, who was assassinated at a campaign rally in Tijuana during the Mexican Presidential campaign of 1994.-Political history:...
(both killed), Park Chung-Hee
Park Chung-hee
Park Chung-hee was a Republic of Korea Army general and the leader of South Korea from 1961 to 1979. He seized power in a military coup and ruled until his assassination in 1979. He has been credited with the industrialization of the Republic of Korea through export-led growth...
(who survived but whose wife Yuk Young-soo
Yuk Young-soo
Yuk Young-soo was the wife of the former president Park Chung-hee and the mother of Korean politician, Park Geun-hye.-Biography:...
was killed in the attempt), Imelda Marcos
Imelda Marcos
Imelda R. Marcos is a Filipino politician and widow of 10th Philippine President Ferdinand Marcos. Upon the ascension of her husband to political power, she held various positions to the government until 1986...
(who survived), John F Kennedy (who was killed but whom Lewis-Smith said had survived in a fictitious "what really happened" segment) and Prince Charles
Charles, Prince of Wales
Prince Charles, Prince of Wales is the heir apparent and eldest son of Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh. Since 1958 his major title has been His Royal Highness The Prince of Wales. In Scotland he is additionally known as The Duke of Rothesay...
(who survived but whom Lewis-Smith said was killed in an equally fictitious segment). In between the setting of the question and the reveal of the answer, viewers were usually treated to a bizarrely outdated television advertisement, such as an ad for the Daily Mirror produced in about 1960 (using the slogan "the Daily Mirror backs the young!" and ridiculing the "old guard" of British society) and an advert for the now discontinued Diocalm. The section was dropped from one episode when TV Offal instead used the original break titles from an episode of The Golden Shot
The Golden Shot
The Golden Shot is a British television game show produced by ATV for ITV between 1 July 1967 and 13 April 1975, based on the German TV show Der goldene Schuss. It is most commonly associated with host Bob Monkhouse, though, three other presenters also hosted the show during its lifetime...
during a piece satirising the game show.
Crappy TV Logo Of The Week: A piece mocking the most under budget and mismanaged of obscure television studios, produced by students or otherwise.
Fantasy Programme Of The Week: A "What If..." segment pondering aloud what certain celebrities would be doing if they chose a different action to affect the outcome of their productions, ranging from Roy Walker
Roy Walker
Robert "Roy" Walker is a television personality and comedian from Northern Ireland, who worked for many years as both a television presenter and comedy actor...
creating dirty versions of Catchphrase
Catchphrase (game show)
Catchphrase is a British game show based on a short-lived US game show of the same name. It ran on ITV in the United Kingdom between 12 January 1986 and 19 December 2002, originally hosted by Northern Irish comedian Roy Walker....
(a commentary on the infamous "Snake Charmer" outtake) to Richard Baker
Richard Baker (broadcaster)
Richard Baker OBE is a British broadcaster best known as a newsreader for the BBC News from 1954 to 1982. He was a contemporary of Kenneth Kendall and Robert Dougall and was the first person to read the BBC Television News in 1954. At one time he lived in Barnet, North London...
being drunk on the Last Night of the Proms ("which of course...he wasn't" claimed a sarcastic Lewis-Smith whilst introducing the segment).
The Pilots That Crashed: Rare and unaired pilots produced for possible series. Included such gems as "The Development of the Test Card", "Tubby the Tumor" and "It'll All End In Tiaras", a satire on monarchy.
The Gay Daleks: A series of crass interactions between two Michael Portillo
Michael Portillo
Michael Denzil Xavier Portillo is a British journalist, broadcaster, and former Conservative Party politician and Cabinet Minister...
obsessed, gay Daleks, traveling in a space/time machine called "The Turdis" (a play on the TARDIS
TARDIS
The TARDISGenerally, TARDIS is written in all upper case letters—this convention was popularised by the Target novelisations of the 1970s...
), during the sketches, the pair treat their relationship with an argumentative, tense approach which often is ridden with their addressing relationship problems, crude bickering, and finally becoming so turned on by their arguing, that they begin to orgasm, leading to a variation of the classic Dalek catchphrase "Exterminate", now "Exsperminate". In the pilot episode, dubbed clips from the 1979 serial Destiny of the Daleks
Destiny of the Daleks
Destiny of the Daleks is a serial in the British science fiction television series Doctor Who, which was first broadcast in four weekly parts from 1 September to 22 September 1979. The story introduces Lalla Ward as the newly-regenerated Romana....
were used. A later attempt at reviving the Gay Daleks as an animated series was blocked by the Terry Nation
Terry Nation
Terry Nation was a Welsh screenwriter and novelist.He is probably best known for creating the villainous Daleks in the long-running science fiction television series Doctor Who...
Estate.
Satirical Song in the '80s Genre: Each episode would contain a song about a celebrity, with the exception of one song about 'Selling God'. "Its nice being [NAME]" The tune itself was always the same, but the lyrics were changed depending on the celebrity. The song would always end with the line: "..but now we must stop as our lawyer says that [NAME] will sue". Ironically one of the songs ("It's Nice Being Esther
Esther Rantzen
Esther Louise Rantzen CBE is an English journalist and television presenter who is best known for presenting the BBC television series That's Life!, and for her work in various charitable causes. She is founder of the child protection charity ChildLine, and also advocates the work of the Burma...
") was edited on legal advice when included as part of TV Offal Prime Cuts in 1999. Celebrities targeted included Esther Rantzen, Sir David Attenborough, Dale Winton
Dale Winton
Dale Winton is an English radio DJ and television presenter.-Early life:Winton's father, Gary, was "domineering" and died when Winton was 13. Winton was brought up by his mother, actress Sheree Winton...
, Loyd Grossman
Loyd Grossman
Loyd Daniel Gilman Grossman, OBE, FSA is an American-British television presenter, chef and musician who has mainly worked in the UK.- Early life, education and honours :...
, Carol Vorderman
Carol Vorderman
Carol Jean Vorderman MBE is a British media personality, best known for co-hosting the popular game show Countdown for 26 years from 1982 to 2008. In September 2011 she became a co-anchor of the ITV1 panel show Loose Women....
, Chris Evans, and 'Selling God' which featured a variety of 'has-been celebs'.
The show would close with Lewis-Smith prank calling a variety of people, such as Hughie Green
Hughie Green
Hughie Green was the host of numerous British television shows.-Early life:Hugh H. Green was born in London; his Scottish father was a former British Army Major who made his fortune supplying tinned fish to the Allied forces in World War I, while his mother Violet was the Surrey-born daughter of...
, Mary Whitehouse
Mary Whitehouse
Mary Whitehouse, CBE was a British campaigner against the permissive society particularly as the media portrayed and reflected it...
or the offices of Carlton Television
Carlton Television
Carlton Television was the ITV franchise holder for London and the surrounding counties including the cities of Solihull and Coventry of the West Midlands, south Suffolk, middle and east Hampshire, Oxfordshire, south Bedfordshire, south Northamptonshire, parts of Herefordshire & Worcestershire,...
, with initial good graces, before becoming more and more rude as the conversation continued.
Trivia
- In every episode Lewis-Smith made at least one bizarre reference to the town of CrawleyCrawleyCrawley is a town and local government district with Borough status in West Sussex, England. It is south of Charing Cross, north of Brighton and Hove, and northeast of the county town of Chichester, covers an area of and had a population of 99,744 at the time of the 2001 Census.The area has...
, West SussexWest SussexWest Sussex is a county in the south of England, bordering onto East Sussex , Hampshire and Surrey. The county of Sussex has been divided into East and West since the 12th century, and obtained separate county councils in 1888, but it remained a single ceremonial county until 1974 and the coming...
. - TV Offal and Victor Lewis-Smith are mentioned in Charlie BrookerCharlie BrookerCharlton "Charlie" Brooker is a British journalist, comic writer and broadcaster. His style of humour is savage and profane, with surreal elements and a consistent satirical pessimism...
's similar (though more factual) show Charlie Brooker's ScreenwipeCharlie Brooker's ScreenwipeCharlie Brooker's Screenwipe is a British television review programme broadcast on BBC Four by Charlie Brooker. The programme contains reviews of current shows, as well as stories and commentary on how television is produced.-Format:...
before the Rainbow 'Christmas Tapes' sketch is shown.