Steampipe Alley
Encyclopedia
Steampipe Alley was a children's television program
that aired on Secaucus, New Jersey
superstation WWOR-TV
from February 7, 1988 to April 1993. The program was hosted by comedian
Mario Cantone
, with announcing duties handled by longtime station staff announcer Ted Mallie
(referred to on-air by Cantone as "Don Pardonmeo", a play on the name of another veteran announcer, Don Pardo
).
Each episode featured celebrity
guests, recurring segments, comedy sketches and games
for its young audience members, with old Warner Bros. Cartoons
rounding out the program.
The series was written by Judy Katschke (who also served as producer), with Rick Derman as senior producer. Its director was Neil Borrell, who served in the same capacity on the station's local newscasts from the mid-1970s until 2005.
Children's television series
Children's television series, are commercial television programs designed for, and marketed to children, normally scheduled for broadcast during the morning and afternoon when children are awake. They can sometimes run in the early evening, for the children that go to school...
that aired on Secaucus, New Jersey
Secaucus, New Jersey
Secaucus is a town in Hudson County, New Jersey. As of the 2010 United States Census, the town population was 16,264. Located within the New Jersey Meadowlands, it is the most suburban of the county's municipalities, though large parts of the town are dedicated to light manufacturing, retail, and...
superstation WWOR-TV
WWOR-TV
WWOR-TV, virtual channel 9 , is the flagship station of the MyNetworkTV programming service, licensed to Secaucus, New Jersey and serving the Tri-State metropolitan area. WWOR is owned by Fox Television Stations, a division of the News Corporation, and is a sister station to Fox network flagship...
from February 7, 1988 to April 1993. The program was hosted by comedian
Comedian
A comedian or comic is a person who seeks to entertain an audience, primarily by making them laugh. This might be through jokes or amusing situations, or acting a fool, as in slapstick, or employing prop comedy...
Mario Cantone
Mario Cantone
Mario Cantone is an American stand-up comedian, writer and actor, with numerous appearances on Comedy Central including Chappelle's Show. He also played Anthony Marentino on Sex and the City...
, with announcing duties handled by longtime station staff announcer Ted Mallie
Ted Mallie
Theodore A. Mallie was an American radio and television announcer.Mallie started at WOR-Mutual Radio in New York in the mid-1940s. There he announced on such programs as John Steele, Adventurer and I Love a Mystery...
(referred to on-air by Cantone as "Don Pardonmeo", a play on the name of another veteran announcer, Don Pardo
Don Pardo
Dominick George "Don" Pardo is an American radio and television announcer. He is best known as the voice of the long-running late night sketch comedy show Saturday Night Live....
).
Each episode featured celebrity
Celebrity
A celebrity, also referred to as a celeb in popular culture, is a person who has a prominent profile and commands a great degree of public fascination and influence in day-to-day media...
guests, recurring segments, comedy sketches and games
Game
A game is structured playing, usually undertaken for enjoyment and sometimes used as an educational tool. Games are distinct from work, which is usually carried out for remuneration, and from art, which is more often an expression of aesthetic or ideological elements...
for its young audience members, with old Warner Bros. Cartoons
Warner Bros. Cartoons
Warner Bros. Cartoons, Inc. was the in-house division of Warner Bros. Pictures during the Golden Age of American animation. One of the most successful animation studios in American media history, Warner Bros. Cartoons was primarily responsible for the Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies theatrical...
rounding out the program.
The series was written by Judy Katschke (who also served as producer), with Rick Derman as senior producer. Its director was Neil Borrell, who served in the same capacity on the station's local newscasts from the mid-1970s until 2005.
Characters
Playing up his comedic persona, Cantone would portray a variety of characters, including:- Julia Children, a parody of TV chef Julia ChildJulia ChildJulia Child was an American chef, author, and television personality. She is recognized for introducing French cuisine to the American public with her debut cookbook, Mastering the Art of French Cooking, and her subsequent television programs, the most notable of which was The French Chef, which...
, who gave recipes for snacks that kids could make at home. - Joe Rivers, supposedly the brother of comedian Joan RiversJoan RiversJoan Rivers is an American comedian, television personality and actress. She is known for her brash manner; her loud, raspy voice with a heavy New York accent; and her numerous cosmetic surgeries...
. - Luciano Pavarachi, a parody of Italian tenor Luciano PavarottiLuciano Pavarottiright|thumb|Luciano Pavarotti performing at the opening of the Constantine Palace in [[Strelna]], 31 May 2003. The concert was part of the celebrations for the 300th anniversary of [[St...
, who sang about his bean-induced flatulenceFlatulenceFlatulence is the expulsion through the rectum of a mixture of gases that are byproducts of the digestion process of mammals and other animals. The medical term for the mixture of gases is flatus, informally known as a fart, or simply gas...
problem. - Ciao Aldo, who appeared in mock commercials to promote a line of fragrances that smelled like pasta.
- Ted Ringer, a stereotypically shady used car salesman who appeared in mock commercials delivering a pitch for the deals available on his "Used and Abused Car Lot".
- Frankie D, a parody of Frank SinatraFrank SinatraFrancis Albert "Frank" Sinatra was an American singer and actor.Beginning his musical career in the swing era with Harry James and Tommy Dorsey, Sinatra became an unprecedentedly successful solo artist in the early to mid-1940s, after being signed to Columbia Records in 1943. Being the idol of the...
, who was a teacher that gave lessons to his "class" via song. - Richie Morales, a neighborhood kid who appeared in the "Something to Think About" segment (see below).
- Sammy Sammy, Jr., a parody of Sammy Davis Jr. who presided over the "Eye In the Pie" segment (see below).
- Rex Can Read, a parody of film critic Rex ReedRex ReedRex Taylor Reed is an American film critic and former co-host of the syndicated television show At the Movies. He currently writes the column "On the Town with Rex Reed" for The New York Observer.-Life and career:...
, who co-hosted the "At the Alley" segment (see below).
Recurring segments
A wide variety of games and sketches were featured, including:- Three Sewer Monte - Assuming the guise of a stereotypically Italian-American construction worker (who, as such, pronounced the "three" in the game's title as "tree"), Cantone chose a member of the audience to pull the string on one of three pipes hanging overhead. If the right one was chosen, it was worth a prize; otherwise, the audience member would have "spiders primavera" (a mix of rubber spiders and spaghetti) dumped on their head.
- The Dream Date Game - A parody of The Dating GameThe Dating GameThe Dating Game is an ABC television show that first aired on December 20, 1965 and was the first of many shows created and packaged by Chuck Barris from the 1960s through the 1980s...
, in which a bachelorette asked questions of three potential bachelors (one of whom was always Cantone in disguise). - Where In the World? - Kids attempted to identify world landmarks to win prizes.
- Steampipe Theatre - Cantone (as "Cecil B. DeMario") would serve as acting coach to a group of kids as they attempted to re-enact scenes from a well known film or play.
- Cream the Teach - Two kids from a local school were given 30 seconds to throw pies at one of their teachers (whose head was stuck through a prop wall); if they managed to land one directly in the teacher's face, they won a prize for their school.
- Something to Think About - In one of the show's few semi-serious segments, neighborhood kid Richie Morales would relate a story to the audience, typically involving himself and his friends, intended to offer genuine advice on handling real-life situations.
- Eye In the Pie - A kid contestant was given 30 seconds to find Sammy Sammy, Jr's glass eye inside a pie in order to win a prize. For the show's ThanksgivingThanksgivingThanksgiving Day is a holiday celebrated primarily in the United States and Canada. Thanksgiving is celebrated each year on the second Monday of October in Canada and on the fourth Thursday of November in the United States. In Canada, Thanksgiving falls on the same day as Columbus Day in the...
episodes, this segment became Eye In the Stuffing, with the search taking place inside a bowl of stuffing. - The National Gallery of Excuses - Cantone would read various excuses for childhood offenses (not finishing homework, etc.), as sent in by home viewers; those whose excuses were read on-air received a prize.
- At the Alley - A takeoff of TV's At the MoviesAt the MoviesAt the Movies is an Australian television program on ABC1 hosted by film critics Margaret Pomeranz and David Stratton, in which they discuss the films opening in theatres that week.-History:...
, snooty critic Rex Can Read would offer a scathing review of a well-known nursery rhyme or fairy tale, which was typically at odds with that of his more agreeable fellow critic, young Bill Getsharassed (a parody of Bill HarrisBill Harris- Sports :*Bill Harris , American MLB pitcher*Bill Harris , Canadian MLB pitcher*Bill Harris American basketball coach, head coach India national basketball team...
). - Mystery Guest - Based on the long-running panel game What's My Line?What's My Line?What's My Line? is a panel game show which originally ran in the United States on the CBS Television Network from 1950 to 1967, with several international versions and subsequent U.S. revivals. The game tasked celebrity panelists with questioning contestants in order to determine their occupations....
, a blindfolded panel of three audience members attempted to guess the identity of a celebrity by asking "yes" or "no" questions, with each kid allowed to keep asking questions until getting a "no" answer or successfully identifying the guest; doing so was worth a prize. Among the Mystery Guests who appeared in this segment were Morris the CatMorris the CatMorris the Cat is the advertising mascot for 9Lives brand cat food, appearing on its packaging and in many of its television commercials. A large orange tabby tom, he is "the world's most finicky cat", and prefers only 9Lives brand, making this preference clear by means of humorously sardonic...
, Brice BeckhamBrice BeckhamJames Brice Beckham is an actor most famous for his role as Wesley T. Owens in the television sitcom Mr. Belvedere and for his role as Corey in I Hate My 30's. He currently lives in Los Angeles and is a member of LA's Namaste theater group.-Biography:Beckham attended Walter B...
, and fellow WWOR host Morton Downey Jr. - Brain Drain - The last segment of each show; inspired by the popular kids' game showGame showA game show is a type of radio or television program in which members of the public, television personalities or celebrities, sometimes as part of a team, play a game which involves answering questions or solving puzzles usually for money and/or prizes...
Double Dare, two kids competed in a rapid-fire 60-second question round, and the player with the high score won a prize and went on to run an obstacle courseObstacle courseAn obstacle course is a series of challenging physical obstacles an individual or team must navigate usually while being timed. Obstacle courses can include running, climbing, jumping, crawling, swimming, and balancing elements with the aim of testing speed and endurance. Sometimes a course...
for the chance at the day's grand prize.