I faxed a transfer request to the club at the beginning of the week, but let me state that I don't want to leave Leicester.

A month from today I guarantee I will be able to stand side by side with any striker in the country. I went to the World Cup as a punter. I didn't see any players that made me think 'I can't do that'

One day, I thought God had smiled on me because Ray keeled over and had a heart attack on the training pitch. It felt like divine retribution. I had never been so happy in my entire fucking life. He didn't die. Little fuckers like him never do.

One day, Geoff Thomas was moaning about something after training, so I got up and chinned him.

Everybody thinks I underachieved as a footballer. I didn't underachieve. I overachieved. I had a great career.

I count helping to keep Southend in the first division in my season there as one of my finest achievements. That's success to me.

There was a time when I was sleeping with four or five women a day. Terrified of loneliness, I had them coming to my house in Cannock on something approximating a rota system. One would arrive, we would have sex and she would go. Another one would arrive, we would have sex and then she would go.

Those guys should just have been watching me at work. They should have been standing there with their mouths open in awe. They should have been learning. They were so rude. Morrison even stuck his tongue in his mouth.

There were two female physios at the club. I was like a dog with two dicks. I spent a lot of time on the treatment table.