My Old Man (Football)
Encyclopedia
My Old Man song is a football song sung by fans of English
and Northern Irish
Association football clubs. Usage has declined in recent years as the aspects of hooliganism
it depicts has also decreased.
It is sung to the melody of the song "Don't Dilly Dally (My Old Man Said Follow The Van)", popularised by Marie Lloyd
. Different versions of the song are sung by different sets of fans. It was initially sung by Aston Villa fans about their cross-city rivals Birmingham City.
Example:
An example of this is Linfield Football Club
The shorter version:
My old man said be a fan,
I said "Fuck
off, bollocks, you're a cunt
!"
The alternative shorter version:
My old man said be a fan,
I said "Fuck off, bollocks, you're a cunt! Have a banana
"
Alternate (clean) version:
My old man said be a Fan,
I said "No!"
England
England is a country that is part of the United Kingdom. It shares land borders with Scotland to the north and Wales to the west; the Irish Sea is to the north west, the Celtic Sea to the south west, with the North Sea to the east and the English Channel to the south separating it from continental...
and Northern Irish
Northern Ireland
Northern Ireland is one of the four countries of the United Kingdom. Situated in the north-east of the island of Ireland, it shares a border with the Republic of Ireland to the south and west...
Association football clubs. Usage has declined in recent years as the aspects of hooliganism
Hooliganism
Hooliganism refers to unruly, destructive, aggressive and bullying behaviour. Such behaviour is commonly associated with sports fans. The term can also apply to general rowdy behaviour and vandalism, often under the influence of alcohol and/or drugs....
it depicts has also decreased.
It is sung to the melody of the song "Don't Dilly Dally (My Old Man Said Follow The Van)", popularised by Marie Lloyd
Marie Lloyd
Matilda Alice Victoria Wood was an English music hall singer, best known as Marie Lloyd. Her ability to add lewdness to the most innocent of lyrics led to frequent clashes with the guardians of morality...
. Different versions of the song are sung by different sets of fans. It was initially sung by Aston Villa fans about their cross-city rivals Birmingham City.
Example:
- My old man said be a (own club name) fan
- And don't dilly dally on the way".
- We took the (rival club ground) in half a minute,
- We took (other rival football team) and all that's in it
- With hatchetHatchetA hatchet is a single-handed striking tool with a sharp blade used to cut and split wood...
s and hammerHammerA hammer is a tool meant to deliver an impact to an object. The most common uses are for driving nails, fitting parts, forging metal and breaking up objects. Hammers are often designed for a specific purpose, and vary widely in their shape and structure. The usual features are a handle and a head,...
s, Stanley knifes and spannerWrenchA wrench or spanner is a tool used to provide grip and mechanical advantage in applying torque to turn objects—usually rotary fasteners, such as nuts and bolts—or keep them from turning....
s - we'll show the bastards how to fight
- If you can't beat a (main rival nickname) then you're not a (own club name) fan
- ALL TOGETHER NOW!
An example of this is Linfield Football Club
Linfield F.C.
Linfield F.C. , is a semi-professional, Northern Irish football club, whose home ground is Windsor Park in Belfast, which is also the home of the Northern Ireland international team....
- My old man said be a Linfield fan
- And don't dilly dally on the way".
- We took The OvalThe Oval (Belfast)The Oval is a football stadium in Belfast, Northern Ireland.The stadium has been home to Glentoran since 1892. Before that the team used Ormeau Park from 1882 to 1886. Then the team shifted to King's Field in Ballymacarrett for four years until 1890. The team's next destination was Musgrave Park...
in half a minute, - We took ColeraineColeraine F.C.Coleraine F.C. is a semi-professional, Northern Irish football club, playing in the IFA Premiership. The club, founded in 1927, hails from Coleraine, County Londonderry and plays its home matches at the Showgrounds. Club colours are blue and white...
and the bastards in it - With hatchets and hammers, Stanley knives and spanners
- we'll show the bastards how to fight
- If you can't beat a GlenmanGlentoran F.C.Glentoran F.C. is a semi-professional, football club in Northern Ireland. The club was founded in 1882 and plays its home games at the Oval in east Belfast. Club colours are green, red, and black.Glentoran's biggest rivals are Linfield...
in a half a minute then you're not a Linfield fan - ALL TOGETHER NOW!
The shorter version:
My old man said be a
I said "Fuck
Fuck
"Fuck" is an English word that is generally considered obscene which, in its most literal meaning, refers to the act of sexual intercourse. By extension it may be used to negatively characterize anything that can be dismissed, disdained, defiled, or destroyed."Fuck" can be used as a verb, adverb,...
off, bollocks, you're a cunt
Cunt
Cunt is a vulgarism, primarily referring to the female genitalia, specifically the vulva, and including the cleft of Venus. The earliest citation of this usage in the 1972 Oxford English Dictionary, c 1230, refers to the London street known as Gropecunt Lane...
!"
The alternative shorter version:
My old man said be a
I said "Fuck off, bollocks, you're a cunt! Have a banana
Banana
Banana is the common name for herbaceous plants of the genus Musa and for the fruit they produce. Bananas come in a variety of sizes and colors when ripe, including yellow, purple, and red....
"
Alternate (clean) version:
My old man said be a
I said "No!"