Limits (BDSM)
Encyclopedia
In BDSM
, limits refer to those activities that participants in a BDSM scene feels strongly about, and to which special attention must be paid.
Before a BDSM scene, it is common for participants to negotiate
an outline of what activities will and will not take place during the play session. At that stage, the participants outline what they desire and what they will not tolerate, and limits are determined. For example, it is common to set a time limit on the session, to set a safe word and to prohibit activity involving non-consenting 3rd parties, besides other things.
s and submissive
s can set limits. Limits can be agreed to verbally or they can be incorporated into a formal contract
.
Though the terminology can vary, common types of limits include:
BDSM
BDSM is an erotic preference and a form of sexual expression involving the consensual use of restraint, intense sensory stimulation, and fantasy power role-play. The compound acronym BDSM is derived from the terms bondage and discipline , dominance and submission , and sadism and masochism...
, limits refer to those activities that participants in a BDSM scene feels strongly about, and to which special attention must be paid.
Before a BDSM scene, it is common for participants to negotiate
Negotiation (BDSM)
In the BDSM community, negotiation is a form of communication where participants make arrangements on each others' requirements, responsibilities, and limits to find the best possible agreement....
an outline of what activities will and will not take place during the play session. At that stage, the participants outline what they desire and what they will not tolerate, and limits are determined. For example, it is common to set a time limit on the session, to set a safe word and to prohibit activity involving non-consenting 3rd parties, besides other things.
Types of limits
Both dominantTop (BDSM)
In BDSM, a top or dominant is the partner in a BDSM relationship or in a BDSM scene who takes the active or controlling role over that of the bottom or submissive partner....
s and submissive
Bottom (BDSM)
In BDSM, a bottom or submissive is the partner in a BDSM relationship or a BDSM scene who takes the passive, receiving, or obedient role, to that of the top or dominant....
s can set limits. Limits can be agreed to verbally or they can be incorporated into a formal contract
Contract (BDSM)
In BDSM, a contract is an agreement, usually written, between the dominant and submissive in a 24/7 or Total Power Exchange relationship. It is the formal act of consent to the power exchange....
.
Though the terminology can vary, common types of limits include:
- Hard Limit – something that must not be done. Violating a hard limit is often considered just cause for ending a scene or even a relationship. Examples include “scatScat-Education:* School and College Ability Test* Somerset College of Arts and Technology, a community college in Somerset, England* Shrewsbury College of Arts & Technology, a community college in Shropshire, England-Games:* Thirty-one , a card game...
is a hard limit for me” or “I have a back injury, so striking on the back is a hard limit”.
- Soft Limit – something that someone will do only in special circumstances or when highly aroused. Example - “I will only do anal sexAnal sexAnal sex is the sex act in which the penis is inserted into the anus of a sexual partner. The term can also include other sexual acts involving the anus, including pegging, anilingus , fingering, and object insertion.Common misconception describes anal sex as practiced almost exclusively by gay men...
with a very experienced partner”.
- "Must" limit – something that a person will not do the scene without. Examples include “lots of hair pulling is a must-limit for me” or “If you’re going to flog me, I’ll need lots of aftercareAftercare (BDSM)In the context of the sexual practice of BDSM, aftercare is the process of attending to one another after intense feelings of a physical or psychological nature relating to BDSM activities....
”.
- Time limit – an amount of time after which play ceases.
- No Limits – the dominant may do anything he or she cares to with the submissive. This is usually a sign of an inexperienced player who does not yet know what their limits are. In reality, even the most hardened and experienced players have limits. “No limits” play is more the stuff of porn and thriller movies than in actual, real-life BDSM. This is also sometimes used as a term for TPE or Total Power Exchange.