Dirty Beasts
Encyclopedia
Dirty Beasts is a 1983
1983 in literature
The year 1983 in literature involved some significant events and new books.-Events:*Ironweed by William Kennedy is published.*Salvage for the Saint by Peter Bloxsom and John Kruse is published. This is the final book in a series of novels, novellas and short stories featuring the Leslie Charteris...

 collection of Roald Dahl
Roald Dahl
Roald Dahl was a British novelist, short story writer, fighter pilot and screenwriter.Born in Wales to Norwegian parents, he served in the Royal Air Force during the Second World War, in which he became a flying ace and intelligence agent, rising to the rank of Wing Commander...

 poems about unsuspecting animal
Animal
Animals are a major group of multicellular, eukaryotic organisms of the kingdom Animalia or Metazoa. Their body plan eventually becomes fixed as they develop, although some undergo a process of metamorphosis later on in their life. Most animals are motile, meaning they can move spontaneously and...

s. Intended as a follow-up to Revolting Rhymes
Revolting Rhymes
Revolting Rhymes is a collection of Roald Dahl poems published in 1982. A parody of traditional folk tales in verse, Dahl gives a re-interpretation of six well-known fairy tales, featuring surprise endings in place of the traditional happily-ever-after...

, it was originally illustrated by Rosemary Fawcett. However, a revised edition was published with illustrations by Quentin Blake
Quentin Blake
Quentin Saxby Blake, CBE, FCSD, RDI, is an English cartoonist, illustrator and children's author, well-known for his collaborations with writer Roald Dahl.-Education:...

. An audio book
Audio book
An audiobook or audio book is a recording of a text being read. It is not necessarily an exact audio version of a book or magazine.Spoken audio has been available in schools and public libraries and to a lesser extent in music shops since the 1930s. Many spoken word albums were made prior to the...

 version was also released in the 1980s, featuring the voices of Alan Cumming
Alan Cumming
Alan Cumming, OBE is a Scottish stage, television and film actor, singer, writer, director, producer and author. His roles have included the Emcee in Cabaret, Boris Grishenko in GoldenEye, Kurt Wagner/Nightcrawler in X2: X-Men United, Mr. Elton in Emma, and Fegan Floop in the Spy Kids trilogy...

, Pam Ferris
Pam Ferris
Pamela Ann "Pam" Ferris is a German-born Welsh actress. She is best known for her starring roles on television as Ma Larkin in The Darling Buds of May, as Laura Thyme in Rosemary & Thyme, and for playing Miss Trunchbull in the movie Matilda...

 and Geoffrey Palmer
Geoffrey Palmer (actor)
Geoffrey Dyson Palmer, OBE is an English actor, best known for his roles in sitcoms such as Butterflies and As Time Goes By.-Career:...

. An OVA was also released, featuring all 9 tales and told alternately by Dawn French ("The Pig", "The Scorpion", "The Porcupine", "The Cow" and "The Tummy Beast") and Martin Clunes
Martin Clunes
Alexander Martin Clunes is an English actor and comedian. Clunes is perhaps best known for his roles as Gary Strang in Men Behaving Badly, Doctor Martin Ellingham in Doc Martin and the title character in Reggie Perrin....

 ("The Lion", "The Anteater", "The Crocodile" and "The Toad and the Snail").

The book contains nine poems, telling of the unusual exploits of unsuspecting animals (save for the Tummy Beast, who is made up). They are as follows:
  • The Pig – When a genius pig realises that he is born for humans to eat, he turns on his farmer owner and eats him instead.

  • The Crocodile – A father tells his son in bed about Crocky-Wock, a crocodile who eats six children each Saturday, preferably three boys and three girls. Little did they know that Crocky-Wock is more than just a tale...

  • The Lion – The narrator (depicted in the OVA as a waiter) asks the lion what his favourite meat is in the form of offering numerous meaty dishes, only for them to be turned away. The lion then states "The meat I am about to chew is neither steak nor chops. IT'S YOU!"

  • The Scorpion – The poem starts off with a description of Sting-a-ling, a black scorpion
    Scorpion
    Scorpions are predatory arthropod animals of the order Scorpiones within the class Arachnida. They have eight legs and are easily recognized by the pair of grasping claws and the narrow, segmented tail, often carried in a characteristic forward curve over the back, ending with a venomous stinger...

     who likes to sting people's rumps when in bed. It then proceeds with a girl telling her mother that something's crawling towards her rear-end and is then stung by Sting-a-ling.

  • The Anteater – Roy, a spoiled boy who lives "somewhere near San Francisco Bay
    San Francisco Bay
    San Francisco Bay is a shallow, productive estuary through which water draining from approximately forty percent of California, flowing in the Sacramento and San Joaquin rivers from the Sierra Nevada mountains, enters the Pacific Ocean...

    ", is pondering what to get next (he was getting bored of his usual supplys of toys and shoes); he decides on an exotic pet, choosing a giant anteater
    Anteater
    Anteaters, also known as antbear, are the four mammal species of the suborder Vermilingua commonly known for eating ants and termites. Together with the sloths, they compose the order Pilosa...

    . It took a while for his father to get one, finally buying one from an Indian man who sold his pet for 50 thousand rupee
    Rupee
    The rupee is the common name for the monetary unit of account in India, Sri Lanka, Nepal, Pakistan, Mauritius, Seychelles, Maldives, and formerly in Burma, and Afghanistan. Historically, the first currency called "rupee" was introduced in the 16th century...

    s. The animal arrives half-starved, begging for food, but the brat cruelly sends him off to find some ants, though the anteater finds none. On that very day, Roy's Aunt Dorothy comes to visit and Roy demands that the anteater greet his Aunt (the narrator gives a quick explanation that Americans can't say some words correctly (Ant instead of Aunt and kant instead of can't) Upon hearing of an 83-year-old ant, the anteater devours the aunt, while Roy hides in the manure shed. However, the anteater finds him and decides Roy is his afters (presumably in revenge for being malnourished by the boy).

  • The Porcupine – A girl buys sweets on Saturday with her weekly money and sits down on a nice rock. Unfortunately, she mistakes a porcupine
    Porcupine
    Porcupines are rodents with a coat of sharp spines, or quills, that defend or camouflage them from predators. They are indigenous to the Americas, southern Asia, and Africa. Porcupines are the third largest of the rodents, behind the capybara and the beaver. Most porcupines are about long, with...

     for a rock. She runs home to tell her mother, who refuses to take them out herself. Instead, she takes her daughter to the dentist
    Dentist
    A dentist, also known as a 'dental surgeon', is a doctor that specializes in the diagnosis, prevention, and treatment of diseases and conditions of the oral cavity. The dentist's supporting team aides in providing oral health services...

    , Mr. Myers, who takes great pleasure in removing the quill
    Quill
    A quill pen is a writing implement made from a flight feather of a large bird. Quills were used for writing with ink before the invention of the dip pen, metal-nibbed pens, the fountain pen, and, eventually, the ballpoint pen...

    s. This poem is unusual in that it doesn't involve the namesake animal throughout, only mentioned when the girl sits on it and at the end warning the reader to be aware of it if they want to sit down.

  • The Cow – A cow named Miss Milky Daisy suddenly sprouts a pair of gold and silver wings from two bumps on her back. Daisy quickly becomes a celebrity and everyone adores her "except for one quite horrid man who travelled from Afghanistan", who loudly insults the flying cow. Angered by this rudeness, Daisy drops a cowpat on him.

  • The Toad and the Snail – A boy playing in a park fountain is approach by a toad the size of a pig, reminding the boy of his Auntie Em. They (the boy and the Toad) leap all over England
    England
    England is a country that is part of the United Kingdom. It shares land borders with Scotland to the north and Wales to the west; the Irish Sea is to the north west, the Celtic Sea to the south west, with the North Sea to the east and the English Channel to the south separating it from continental...

     and eventually arrive in France
    France
    The French Republic , The French Republic , The French Republic , (commonly known as France , is a unitary semi-presidential republic in Western Europe with several overseas territories and islands located on other continents and in the Indian, Pacific, and Atlantic oceans. Metropolitan France...

    . The locals are amazed by the size of the toad and prepare to cook the Toad and eat his legs. The toad, who often goes to France to tease the locals, presses a button on his head, turning him into a giant snail. Despite this change to prevent his demise, the Frenchman start up once again, dying to get a taste of the snail. Nevertheless, the snail pulls a lever on his shell and becomes a Roly-Poly Bird
    Roly-Poly Bird
    "The Roly-Poly Bird" is a fictional character, that, like the Vermicious knids and Muggle-Wump the monkey is made reference to in more than one child's book by Roald Dahl- in two cases alongside Muggle-Wump. He is described as large, with fantastically coloured tailfeathers, and in Quentin Blake's...

    . The boy and the bird then fly back to the fountain where the tale started, the boy keeping his adventure a secret. This is the only tale to feature more than one animal.

  • The Tummy Beast – A fat boy tells his mother that a person is living in his tummy, but his mother doesn't believe the child and, disgusted with the horrible "excuse", she sends him to his room. However, a voice erupts from the boy's tummy, telling him to get something to eat or it'll twist his guts. The boy asks his mother if she believes him now, but she doesn't answer, having fainted.


In the OVA, the "Crocodile" was moved so that it would be told before the "Tummy Beast", which also was moved to be told before the "Toad and the Snail".
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