Dating abuse
Encyclopedia
Dating abuse or dating violence is defined as the perpetration or threat of an act of violence
by at least one member of an unmarried couple on the other member within the context of dating or courtship. It is also when one partner tries to maintain power and control over the other through abuse/violence. This abuse/violence encompasses all forms: sexual assault
, sexual harassment, threats, physical violence, verbal
, mental, or emotional abuse, social sabotage, and stalking.
Dating violence crosses all racial, age, economic and social lines. The Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness describes dating abuse as a "pattern of abusive and coercive behaviors used to maintain power and control over a former or current intimate partner." The Family & Community Development support group at eCitizen in Singapore
has described what it calls tell-tale signs of an abusive relationship.
These can include psychological abuse
, emotional blackmail
, sexual abuse
, physical abuse
and psychological manipulation
.
The Centre for Promoting Alternatives to Violence describes abusers as being obsessively jealous
and possessive, overly confident, having mood swings or a history of violence or temper, seeking to isolate their partner from family, friends and colleagues, and having a tendency to blame external stressors.
Meanwhile, victims of relationship abuse share many traits as well, including: physical signs of injury, missing time at work or school, slipping performance at work or school, changes in mood or personality, increased use of drugs or alcohol, and increasing isolation from friends and family. Victims may blame themselves for any abuse that occurs or may minimize
the severity of the crime. This often leads to victims choosing to stay in abusive relationships.
Strauss (2005) argues that while men inflict the greater share of injuries in domestic violence, researchers and society at large must not overlook the substantial minority of injuries inflicted by women. Additionally, Strauss notes that even relatively minor acts of physical aggression by women are a serious concern:
Similarly, Deborah Capaldi reports that a 13-year longitudinal study found that a woman's aggression towards a man was equally important as the man's tendency towards violence in predicting the likelihood of overall violence: "Since much IPV [Intimate Partner Violence] is mutual and women as well as men initiate IPV, prevention and treatment approaches should attempt to reduce women's violence as well as men's violence. Such an approach has a much higher chance of increasing women's safety."
UK resources:
US resources:
Violence
Violence is the use of physical force to apply a state to others contrary to their wishes. violence, while often a stand-alone issue, is often the culmination of other kinds of conflict, e.g...
by at least one member of an unmarried couple on the other member within the context of dating or courtship. It is also when one partner tries to maintain power and control over the other through abuse/violence. This abuse/violence encompasses all forms: sexual assault
Sexual assault
Sexual assault is an assault of a sexual nature on another person, or any sexual act committed without consent. Although sexual assaults most frequently are by a man on a woman, it may involve any combination of two or more men, women and children....
, sexual harassment, threats, physical violence, verbal
Verbal abuse
Verbal abuse is best described as a negative defining statement told to you or about you; or by withholding any response thus defining the target as non-existant...
, mental, or emotional abuse, social sabotage, and stalking.
Dating violence crosses all racial, age, economic and social lines. The Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness describes dating abuse as a "pattern of abusive and coercive behaviors used to maintain power and control over a former or current intimate partner." The Family & Community Development support group at eCitizen in Singapore
Singapore
Singapore , officially the Republic of Singapore, is a Southeast Asian city-state off the southern tip of the Malay Peninsula, north of the equator. An island country made up of 63 islands, it is separated from Malaysia by the Straits of Johor to its north and from Indonesia's Riau Islands by the...
has described what it calls tell-tale signs of an abusive relationship.
These can include psychological abuse
Psychological abuse
Psychological abuse, also referred to as emotional abuse or mental abuse, is a form of abuse characterized by a person subjecting or exposing another to behavior that may result in psychological trauma, including anxiety, chronic depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder...
, emotional blackmail
Emotional blackmail
Emotional blackmail is a term used to cover a central form of psychological manipulation - 'the use of a system of threats and punishment on a person by someone close to them in an attempt to control their behavior'. "Emotional blackmail.....
, sexual abuse
Sexual abuse
Sexual abuse, also referred to as molestation, is the forcing of undesired sexual behavior by one person upon another. When that force is immediate, of short duration, or infrequent, it is called sexual assault. The offender is referred to as a sexual abuser or molester...
, physical abuse
Physical abuse
Physical abuse is abuse involving contact intended to cause feelings of intimidation, injury, or other physical suffering or bodily harm.-Forms of physical abuse:*Striking*Punching*Belting*Pushing, pulling*Slapping*Whipping*Striking with an object...
and psychological manipulation
Psychological manipulation
Psychological manipulation is a type of social influence that aims to change the perception or behavior of others through underhanded, deceptive, or even abusive tactics. By advancing the interests of the manipulator, often at the other's expense, such methods could be considered exploitative,...
.
Profiles of abuser and victim
Individuals of all walks of life can find themselves in an abusive relationship. Abuse can occur regardless of the couple's age, race, income, or other demographic traits. There are, however, many traits that abusers and victims share in common.The Centre for Promoting Alternatives to Violence describes abusers as being obsessively jealous
JEALOUS
"Jealous" is the first single by Dir En Grey and was released on May 10, 1998. The music videos of the title track and the B-side "Unknown･･･Despair･･･a Lost" are featured on the VHS Mousou Toukakugeki. A piano-vocal duet version of "Jealous" was later included on the "[KR] Cube" single...
and possessive, overly confident, having mood swings or a history of violence or temper, seeking to isolate their partner from family, friends and colleagues, and having a tendency to blame external stressors.
Meanwhile, victims of relationship abuse share many traits as well, including: physical signs of injury, missing time at work or school, slipping performance at work or school, changes in mood or personality, increased use of drugs or alcohol, and increasing isolation from friends and family. Victims may blame themselves for any abuse that occurs or may minimize
Minimisation (psychology)
Minimisation is a type of deception involving denial coupled with rationalisation in situations where complete denial is implausible. It is the opposite of exaggeration....
the severity of the crime. This often leads to victims choosing to stay in abusive relationships.
Strauss (2005) argues that while men inflict the greater share of injuries in domestic violence, researchers and society at large must not overlook the substantial minority of injuries inflicted by women. Additionally, Strauss notes that even relatively minor acts of physical aggression by women are a serious concern:
- 'Minor' assaults perpetrated by women are also a major problem, even when they do not result in injury, because they put women in danger of much more severe retaliation by men. [...] It will be argued that in order to end 'wife beating,' it is essential for women also to end what many regard as a 'harmless' pattern of slapping, kicking, or throwing something at a male partner who persists in some outrageous behavior and 'won't listen to reason.'
Similarly, Deborah Capaldi reports that a 13-year longitudinal study found that a woman's aggression towards a man was equally important as the man's tendency towards violence in predicting the likelihood of overall violence: "Since much IPV [Intimate Partner Violence] is mutual and women as well as men initiate IPV, prevention and treatment approaches should attempt to reduce women's violence as well as men's violence. Such an approach has a much higher chance of increasing women's safety."
Emotional Abuse
- You are afraid of your date
- You are afraid of making him/her angry and are unable to even disagree with him/her.
- He/she has publicly embarrassed and humiliated you.
Psychological Abuse
- Your date threatens to use violence against you or against himself/herself.(e.g. "If you leave me, I will kill myself".)
Sexual Abuse
- Your date forces you to have sex with him/her.
- You are afraid to say 'no' to his/her demand for a sexual act from you.
- Your date does not respect you, but is only interested in gratifying his/her sexual needs.
- He/she does not care about the consequences of the sexual act or how you feel about it.
Physical Abuse
- You were subjected to some physical attacks by your partner
- Your date has held you down, pushed you, or even punched, kicked or threw things at you
Controlling behaviour
- Your date has tried to keep you from seeing your friends
- You are restricted from contacting your family
- You are even forced to choose between him/her and your family and friends.
- Your date on knowing where you are at all times and demands that you justify everything you do
- He/she will be furious if you spoke with another man/woman
- He/she expects you to ask permission before seeking health care for yourself
- Your date dictates what you wear and how you appear in public
See also
- Date rapeDate rape"Date rape", often referred to as acquaintance rape, is an assault or attempted assault usually committed by a new acquaintance involving sexual intercourse without mutual consent....
- Loveisrespect, National Teen Dating Abuse HelplineLoveisrespect, National Teen Dating Abuse Helplineloveisrespect National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline was launched February 8, 2007 by the National Domestic Violence Hotline. This 24-hour national Web-based and telephone resource was created to help teens experiencing dating abuse, and is the only helpline in the country serving all 50 states,...
, of the National Domestic Violence HotlineNational Domestic Violence HotlineThe National Domestic Violence Hotline is a 24-hour, confidential, toll-free hotline created through the Family Violence Prevention and Services Act. Hotline staff immediately connect the caller to a service provider in his or her area... - Teen dating violenceTeen dating violence-What is teen dating violence?:Teen dating violence is defined as the physical, sexual, or psychological/emotional violence within a dating relationship. According to the United States' Centers for Disease Control and Prevention the prevalence of teen dating violence is often misunderstood...
External links
Canadian resources:- RespectED, Provided by the Canadian Red Cross, give information to teens, parents, and teachers about abuse in dating relationships.
UK resources:
US resources:
- Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness
- National Domestic Violence Hotline
- ACADV.org - created by the Alabama Coalition Against Dating Violence, provides a Dating Bill of Rights.
- Jennifer Ann.org - provides free educational materials to schools and groups and sponsors video game contests about teen dating violence from Jennifer Ann's GroupJennifer Ann's GroupThe Jennifer Ann Crecente Memorial Group, Inc., commonly known as "Jennifer Ann's Group", is a Code Section 501 public charity based in Atlanta, Georgia, whose aims are to educate young people about the prevalence of teen dating violence, how to identify these relationships and how to extricate...
. - Love Is Not Abuse.org - sponsored by Liz ClaiborneLiz ClaiborneAnne Elisabeth Jane "Liz" Claiborne was a Belgian-born American fashion designer and entrepreneur. Claiborne is best known for founding Liz Claiborne Inc. which in 1986 became the first company founded by a woman to make the Fortune 500...
, provides educational materials. - Love Is Respect.org - runs the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline.
- National Youth Violence Prevention Center - offers articles and fact sheets.
- The Safe Space.org - created by Break the Cycle, offers information and allows teens to submit questions.