Count Smokula
Encyclopedia
Count Smokula is a comedic fictional character
Fictional character
A character is the representation of a person in a narrative work of art . Derived from the ancient Greek word kharaktêr , the earliest use in English, in this sense, dates from the Restoration, although it became widely used after its appearance in Tom Jones in 1749. From this, the sense of...

 created and portrayed by Robert "Smokey" Miles. He has made numerous live appearances, roles in movies, TV shows and internet videos.

Count Smokula and Smokesylvania

As imagined by Miles, Count Smokula is a 496 year old accordion-playing vampire with a cape and fez from the vaguely Eastern-European nation of Smokesylvania. He has been described as "Bela Lugosi-meets-Jackie Mason" and as "a sort of Yiddish Dracula, who plays the accordion and exhibits the longest tongue this side of Gene Simmons of KISS" The Count has a thick Smokesylvanian accent (He plays the "sqveezebox" and loves "to rock like you vouldn't believe it"). Music is his first love and the Count Smokula Orchestra started up about 300 years ago in Glipsch, Smokesylvania where he was greatly influenced by Shnotta Shmulevitz, Smokesylvania's most famous singer. But he definitely doesn't suck - as he says "I gave up fangs and blood 300 years ago, my doctor told me too much cholesterol". He subscribes to a belief in Smokulism, a "voild vide" faith revealed to the Count one sleepless night in 1997 after "ingesting a rather large vegetarian pizza in the presence of the Russian Madonna". It is a way of raising ones thoughts up from the dirt and down from the clouds to live in the world as it is, and this National Belief System of Smokesylvania can be achieved by just paying $10 for a certificate to become a true Smokulist.

At an indefinite date, the Count left Smokesylvania (or rather, it left him since he tells us they moved the country stone-by-stone to the South Pacific since "the veather vas too inclement") for Hollywood, California where he planned to make a fortune as a "public excess show host" so he could restore the glory of Smokesylvania.

"Live" Appearances

The Count has been a longtime regular at the annual Doo Dah Parade
Doo Dah Parade
The Pasadena Doo Dah Parade is a popular farcical and flamboyant parade held in Pasadena, California about once a year, usually in the fall or winter...

 in Pasadena, the counter-culture answer to the more staid Rose Parade, where he is a familiar and often photographed figure. The Count is one of a number of odd characters who show up for this irreverent and wacky event - to quote him “It’s got to be a bit irregular to be the true Doo Dah” and besides “There’s nothing else vorthvhile in January” He even competed for Queen a few times - a process likened to "a cross between the Miss America pageant and “The Gong Show".

The Count got his start in the Los Angeles underground scene, often performing at burlesque shows, so it is not surprising that he has a special affinity for burlesque and strippers. His relationship with the burlesque revival group, the Fishnet Floozys, has made him MC at a number of their shows in Los Angeles and Hollywood and hosting the "Count Smokula Burlesque Review". Or you might find him as MC for the "Burlesque Cabaret" at the Red Door Gallery in Phoenix, or as the host of Shimmy Magazine's all-star fundraiser in Los Angeles, or maybe performing at the Los Angeles Exotica Burlesque. If there are strippers around, the Count is bound to be near, even if it means trekking out to the Mojave Desert near Route 66 for the annual Miss Exotic World Pageant at the Exotic World Burlesque Museum run by former exotic dancer Dixie Evans.

Count Smokula has had a long association with independent cult film producer Troma Films
Troma Entertainment
Troma Entertainment is an American independent film production and distribution company founded by Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz in 1974.The company produces low-budget independent movies that play on 1950s horror with elements of farce...

, creator of films such as Toxic Avenger and Blood Sucking Freaks
Blood Sucking Freaks
Blood Sucking Freaks is a 1976 horror-exploitation film. Shot under the title Sardu: Master of the Screaming Virgins, it was retitled The Incredible Torture Show during its original theatrical run....

. As the Count has said "When watching a Troma movie, you must not only suspend your disbelief: you must lock it up in a small iron crate and torture it." The Count has appeared several times at the TromaDance
TromaDance
The TromaDance Film Festival is a free annual independent film festival organized by Troma Entertainment. Founded in 1999, TromaDance was originally held in Park City and Salt Lake City, Utah, operating concurrently alongside the Sundance Film Festival in order to showcase an independent...

 Film Festival in Park City, Utah, the camp version of the Sundance Film Festival
Sundance Film Festival
The Sundance Film Festival is a film festival that takes place annually in Utah, in the United States. It is the largest independent cinema festival in the United States. Held in January in Park City, Salt Lake City, and Ogden, as well as at the Sundance Resort, the festival is a showcase for new...

. He also composed the Official TromaDance Theme Song introduced at TromaDance 2005. More recently, the Count was seen at the American Film Market
American Film Market
The American Film Market is a film industry event held each year at the beginning of November in Santa Monica, California. About 8,000 people attend the eight day event to network and to sell and acquire films...

 (AFM) event in Santa Monica, California
Santa Monica, California
Santa Monica is a beachfront city in western Los Angeles County, California, US. Situated on Santa Monica Bay, it is surrounded on three sides by the city of Los Angeles — Pacific Palisades on the northwest, Brentwood on the north, West Los Angeles on the northeast, Mar Vista on the east, and...

 in company with Troma founder Lloyd Kaufman
Lloyd Kaufman
Lloyd Kaufman is an American film director, producer, screenwriter and occasional actor. With producer Michael Herz, he is the co-founder of Troma Entertainment film studio, and the director of many of their feature films, including The Toxic Avenger and Tromeo and Juliet. Kaufman also serves as...

 to celebrate the 10th anniversary of TromaDance. The appearance made the front page of the November 7, 2008 edition of The Hollywood Reporter
The Hollywood Reporter
Formerly a daily trade magazine, The Hollywood Reporter re-launched in late 2010 as a unique hybrid publication serving the entertainment industry and a consumer audience...

.

He has even ventured off to the U.S. Naval Station at Guantanamo
Guantanamo Bay Naval Base
Guantanamo Bay Naval Base is located on of land and water at Guantánamo Bay, Cuba which the United States leased for use as a coaling station following the Cuban-American Treaty of 1903. The base is located on the shore of Guantánamo Bay at the southeastern end of Cuba. It is the oldest overseas...

 where he was the Ringmaster of the "Vamphear Circus" in April 2006 featuring opera clown Christina Linhardt, Hillel aka Mr. Balloonman, stilt walker and fire eater Philip Solomon and aerialist Brandy Wirtz. A highlight of the show was his rendition of his own "Guantanamo Bay Theme Song".

TV, Film and the Internet

In 1996, Count Smokula got his start on underground fame with his own cult Public-access television
Public-access television
Public-access television is a form of non-commercial mass media where ordinary people can create content television programming which is cablecast through cable TV specialty channels...

 cable TV show "The Count Smokula Show" ("the greatest talk show in the voild"). He also hosted the "Freak of the Week" segments for Troma's Edge TV which had guests who swallowed swords, ate fire and devoured light bulbs. A further search for such abilities led to the first international episode at the Cannes Film Festival
Cannes Film Festival
The Cannes International Film Festival , is an annual film festival held in Cannes, France, which previews new films of all genres including documentaries from around the world. Founded in 1946, it is among the world's most prestigious and publicized film festivals...

 in May 2000 with co-host Shelley Michelle. Count Smokula was also a "date" on the "Singers need love too" episode of TV show Blind Date (March 2005) and almost a superhero on the Sci Fi Channel
Sci Fi Channel (United States)
Syfy , formerly known as the Sci-Fi Channel and SCI FI, is an American cable television channel featuring science fiction, supernatural, fantasy, reality, paranormal, wrestling, and horror programming. Launched on September 24, 1992, it is part of the entertainment conglomerate NBCUniversal, a...

 reality show Who Wants to be a Superhero?
Who Wants to Be a Superhero?
Who Wants to Be a Superhero? is a reality show hosted by Stan Lee. Contestants dress up as comic book superheroes of their own invention. Each week, Lee challenges the contestants to represent what "superheroes are all about." One or more of the superheroes deemed the least deserving is eliminated...

. He didn't quite make the cut on the show's pilot episode (July 2006).

As a film actor, The Count has appeared in some memorably named flicks including the 2004 epic Tales from the Crapper
Tales from the Crapper
Tales from the Crapper is a 2004 straight-to-video anthology film that was a spoof of the Tales from the Crypt comics. The film was released by Troma Entertainment.-Plot:...

("Filmed in 3 countries, over 3 years, with 6 directors, 15 writers, and a cast of hundreds") with Julie Strain
Julie Strain
Julie Strain is an American actress and model who was Penthouse Pet of the Month in June 1991 and later chosen as the magazine's Pet of the Year in 1993.-Early life:...

. and the "Coming Soon" Curse of the Black Pussycat starring Rena Riffel.

But it is on the Internet that The Count really shines. With YouTube and other video services, the Internet has become the modern era's version of vaudeville
Vaudeville
Vaudeville was a theatrical genre of variety entertainment in the United States and Canada from the early 1880s until the early 1930s. Each performance was made up of a series of separate, unrelated acts grouped together on a common bill...

and Count Smokula is a classic vaudeville persona. A recent search of YouTube videos shows 71 listings for The Count. One of his videos, "Count Smokula - Zombie", has over 50, 000 views and his political satire "Sarah Palin in 'Moose on the loose'" may end up with even more.

Music

Count Smokula is a musician and singer, and as such has hosted and performed at the Rock City News Music Awards for many years He was also one of the "three days of accordions" performers at the 2008 Los Angeles Accordion Festival. And he is most likely the oldest member of the Rockabilly Hall of Fame. As a songwriter, Count Smokula has composed the soundtracks for Troma Entertainment
Troma Entertainment
Troma Entertainment is an American independent film production and distribution company founded by Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz in 1974.The company produces low-budget independent movies that play on 1950s horror with elements of farce...

 movies All the Love You Cannes! (2002) and Tales from the Crapper
Tales from the Crapper
Tales from the Crapper is a 2004 straight-to-video anthology film that was a spoof of the Tales from the Crypt comics. The film was released by Troma Entertainment.-Plot:...

(2004) as well as the 2006 classics Vampira: The Movie and Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.

At the 13th Anuual Los Angeles Music Awards in 2003, The Count was given the award for "Comedy Album of the Year" for his CD Authentic Sounds of Smokesylvania. He can also be heard on the 2006 Poultrygeist: Night Of The Chicken Dead CD produced by Troma Entertainment
Troma Entertainment
Troma Entertainment is an American independent film production and distribution company founded by Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz in 1974.The company produces low-budget independent movies that play on 1950s horror with elements of farce...

and his number "Transylbearian Woods" is part of the 2005 CD 30!!! Years Bear Family Records.
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