Sourced

• I never thought missing children could be so sexy. Did I say that out loud?
  • "A Lapdance Is So Much Better When the Stripper Is Crying", Hooray for Boobies (2000)

• Let me be Pacific I wanna be down in your South Seas
  • "The Bad Touch", Hooray for Boobies (2000)

• You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals, so lets do it like they do on the discovery channel
  • "The Bad Touch", Hooray for Boobies (2000)

• If I want to be repeatedly shit on I'll go make Dutch porn
  • "No Hard Feelings", Hefty Fine (2005)

• Thou shalt not worship false Billy Idols
  • "Hell Yeah", Hooray for Boobies (2000)

• If I don't believe in myself would that be blasphemy?
  • "Hell yeah", Hooray for Boobies (2000)

• Don't give a flying Nun, no don't give a Gidget, just have more fun than a well-oiled midget
  • "Take the Long way home", Hooray for Boobies (2000)

• You're pretty when I'm drunk and I'm pretty fuckin drunk
  • "You're pretty when I'm drunk", Use Your Fingers (1995)

• A lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying
  • "a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying", Hooray for Boobies (2000)

• Like my scrotum, here it is in a nutshell
  • "The Inevitable Return Of The Great White Dope", Hooray for Boobies (2000)

• It's not my job to fuck you on your birthday anymore
  • "No Hard Feelings", Hefty fine (2005)

• While you're choking your chicken your chick will be choking this chicken's bone.
  • "Right Turn Clyde", Hooray for Boobies (2000)

• Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert, and you're getting two thumbs up
  • "The Bad Touch", Hooray for Boobies (2000)

• You know what I really want in a girl? Me.
  • "Three point one four", Hooray for Boobies (2000)

• It's all in the wrist like table tennis, so beat me like Betty Crocker cake mix
  • "Yummy down on this", Hooray for Boobies (2000)

• I like my girls like my cheese. Preferably for me fat-free American singles only
  • "Three point one four", Hooray for Boobies (2000)

• Rather tape the weather channel so that I can watch it later
  • "Mope", Hooray for Boobies (2000)

• Luciani Pavarotti on a tread mill: not going no where slim change he will
  • "Mope", Hooray for Boobies (2000)

• Mom and Dad, this is Chasey, Chasey this is my mom and dad. Now show 'em them titties!
  • "The Ballad of Chasey Lain", Hooray for Boobies (2000)

• You must be five stars cuz my staff's at full attention
  • "Yummy down on this", Hooray for Boobies (2000)

• Hummin *hmmm mmmm* good like Campbell's
  • "Yummy down on this", Hooray for Boobies (2000)

• You're a genius; what I mean is you SUCK at this
  • "Yummy down on this", Hooray for Boobies (2000)

• You can fondle, but it's like McDonald's: realize it's just a Happy Meal so you can't Super Size it
  • "Yummy down on this", Hooray for Boobies (2000)

• Put away becaue he wasn't all there; like a jigsaw puzzle you might compare
  • "Magna Cum Nada", Hooray for Boobies (2000)

• Being letdown, unparalleled--like the last episode of Seinfeld
  • "Magna Cum Nada", Hooray for Boobies (2000)

• Crucified and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt
  • "hell yeah", Hooray for Boobies (2000)

• Times New Roman, you know the type
  • "Righ turn Clyde", Hooray for Boobies (2000)

• Completely incompatible even though I'm a pussy and you're a dick
  • "Right turn Clyde, Hooray for Boobies (2000)

• You must have given up on hair plugs because now you've gone toupee(to pay)
  • "Right turn Clyde", Hooray for Boobies (2000)

• I heard you like your women like you like your shrimp you like em' battered. Wife beater, perfectly fitting apparel. Where's your brother Darryl, where's your other brother Darryl?
  • "Right turn Clyde", Hooray for Boobies (2000)

• I've got something for you and it's an inch long
  • "Coo Coo Ca Choo", Use Your Finger (1995)

• I Won't Kiss Your Ass To Get A Piece Of It
  • "Rang Dang", Use Your Finger (1995)

• Right under my nose thinking I'm so Colonel Klink oblivious but how could I Nazi that you got off scot-free
  • "No Hard Feelings", Hefty Fine (2005)

• Life is like a penis most people don't know it but most people suck so they usually blow it
  • "Take The long Way Home", Hooray for Boobies (2000)

• Have you seen my will to live? because it seems I have lost it
  • "Magna Cum Nada", Hooray for Boobies (2000)

• Does your girlfriend look like the chick from M*A*S*H?, dead ringer for Klinger with a thicker mustache?
  • "Lift Your Head Up High (And Blow Your Brains Out)", One Fierce Beer Coaster (1996)

• I'm hard to come by like a straight guy working at Starbucks
  • "The Inevitable Return Of The Great White Dope", Hooray for Boobies (2000)