Unsourced

• I could only write at the beach, and I kept getting sand in my typewriter.
  • His reason for not pursuing a literary career

• I hate the way he writes. I kind of love the way he lives, though.
  • On writer Jack Kerouac

• I have won several prizes as the world’s slowest alto player, as well as a special award in 1961 for quietness.

• I think I had it in the back of my mind that I wanted to sound like a dry martini.
  • About his distinctive light sound

• I tried practicing for a few weeks and ended up playing too fast.
  • About the value of practice

• I was unfashionable before anyone knew who I was.
  • About his playing style

• It's like living in a house where everything's painted red.
  • On Ornette Coleman's playing

• Not for me. If I want to tune everybody out, I just take off my glasses and enjoy the haze.
  • On contact lenses

• Sometimes I get the feeling that there are orgies going on all over New York City, and somebody says, `Let's call Desmond,' and somebody else says,'Why bother? He's probably home reading the Encyclopedia Britannica.'

• Well, that I'm not playing better.
  • When asked by Gene Lees what accounted for the melancholy in his playing

• Writing is like jazz. It can be learned, but it can’t be taught.

• You're beginning to sound like a cross between David Frost and David Susskind, and that is a cross I cannot bear.
  • His response to the annoying banality of an interviewer