Sourced

• If someone can relate my guitar solo to an exercise in a book ... that's no fun at all.
  • As quoted in Guitar Player (November 1989)

• It really sucks when music is so perfect you just don't need to hear it anymore.
  • Discussing his intentionally-out-of-tune intro to "Back To Shalla Bal" and contrasting it to the "perfectness" of Abba's vocals.
  • As quoted in Guitar Player (November 1989)

• I'm ready to take the heat.
  • On the decision to sing vocals himself for Flying In A Blue Dream , as quoted in Guitar Magazine (March 1990)

• My inspirations don't come from outer space, they just come to me. I have no idea why they come when they do.
  • As quoted in Guitar Magazine (March 1990)

• Song ideas have come to me in the middle of interviews, in the shower, or while I'm writing another song.
  • As quoted in Guitar Magazine (March 1990)

• I write the songs first and in most cases teach myself the technique second.
  • As quoted in BAM Magazine (6 April 1990)

• My first [guitar] lessons lasted two weeks and it was "Jingle Bells." It didn't make any sense at all. I wanted to know how to play like Hendrix...
  • As quoted in BAM Magazine (6 April 1990)

• I've always spent a lot of time on my records with what I think were unique rhythmic approaches ... but no one ever writes about your rhythm playing
  • As quoted in BAM Magazine (6 April 1990)

• When you hear an instrumental song someone is singing over, you know right away it's wrong.
  • As quoted in BAM Magazine (6 April 1990)

• I can embarrass myself very easily on guitar. It's funny because people say to me I can play anything; I'm God on the guitar. But I could make a big list of everything I can't play... I'm grateful that people don't notice that.
  • As quoted in BAM Magazine (6 April 1990)

• Eee-nee-mee-nee-my-nee-moe
  • His vocal warmup, as quoted in Guitar World (October 1990)

• I think it's quite painfully obvious when someone's practicing through an amp, as opposed to someone who's really laying down some stuff that just happens to be fast.
  • As quoted in "Shred on Arrival" by Alan di Perna in Guitar World (November 1993)

• The Squares [his former band] never really fit in. We weren't rock enough. We weren't alternative enough. We weren't new wave enough and we weren't punk enough. Maybe we just weren't the right people for the band.
  • As quoted in "Shred on Arrival" in Guitar World (November 1993)

• Mozart was a freaky kind of shredder.
  • As quoted in "Shred on Arrival" in Guitar World (November 1993)

• I assume most guitar players are like me. They're playing, having fun; then they get a magazine in the mail that says "Shred Is Dead" and they say, "What the Hell?" They throw it away and keep on playing.
  • As quoted in "Shred on Arrival" in Guitar World (November 1993)

• When you think about where guitar playing is going today...: it's going everywhere at the same time.
  • As quoted in "Shred on Arrival" in Guitar World (November 1993)

• I'll tell you one thing: I will always play the sh** out of my guitar.
  • As quoted in "Shred on Arrival" in Guitar World (November 1993)

• Sounds cool. Looks cool. Feels cool.
  • On what he likes most about the guitar, as quoted by Metal Edge (April 1994)

• Relax. Be yourself. Play a lot.
  • Advice for other musicians, as quoted by Metal Edge (April 1994)

• When these guitar mags bring up that stuff up and say such and such came up with this and that which is pushing the boundaries, I just say, "let's step back for a minute and admit something: nothing has happened for the last 100 years." And it's okay. It's not a bad thing ... We're all working with "tools" that have been in existence for the last 100 years and there hadn't been a new "tool" for a long long time.
  • As quoted in RIP magazine (June 1994)

• Basic anatomy. That has got to be the ongoing frustration: Why can't my fingers do what I want them to do? Not being able to play what I hear in my head — that is the ultimate source of frustration.
  • As quoted in Joe Satriani : Riff By Riff (1994) by Rich Maloof

• When you hear something you don't like, don't ever play it again.
  • As quoted in Joe Satriani : Riff By Riff (1994) by Rich Maloof

• Satriani's Law: There's at least a 30% chance that someone will print the name Satriani incorrectly
  • As quoted in Luminous Flesh Giants Tour Itinerary booklet (1995)

• Guitars are fun. There are plenty of different kinds to play. They look cool. They sound cool. Don't *you* want to play guitar?
  • As quoted in Musician magazine (November 1996)

• There's a fine line between giving the sense of freedom and being too free.
  • Discussing how he always works out parts that use pitch axis theory, as quoted in Guitar Magazine (November 1996)

• Solos I kind of [couldn't] care less about. I know most people probably think that's what I care most about, but it's really the melody playing that is the cornerstone of what I'm working on.
  • As quoted in Guitar Magazine (August 1997)

• I've always done "the wrong thing" and had a pretty wonderful time doing it.
  • In response to a question about whether he thinks fans would be shocked by "Enigines of Creation", as quoted in Guitar World (May 2000)

• I pride myself on being incorrigible. I have a very hard time being told what to do.
  • As quoted in Guitar World (May 2000)

• When I want to play music, you've got to get me on tape or else it goes.
  • As quoted in Guitar 2001 magazine, Issue #10, (Summer 2001)

Unsourced

• 18th September, 1970; Jimi Hendrix dies. I'm still on the football team when I get the news. So I take my helmet off and confront the coach to tell him I'm quitting the team. In a moment of brilliance he gives me one look and says "OK".