Directed by Donald Petrie. Written by Marc Lawrence and Katie Ford

Gracie Hart

• I am in a dress, I have gel in my hair, I haven't slept all night, I'm starved, AND I'm armed! Don't MESS with me!

• Look, she's gonna cry again. [imitating winner] 'Oh, if I only had a brain."'

• Hey! I'm GLIDING here!

• Dalai Llama, Dalai Llama, Dalai Llama...*snorts*

• [as a guard dog barks at her]]' Oh, fine, have it you little...donut Nazi! [pulls a donut out from her bra and throws it at the dog.]

• I'm sarcastic?! When everything that comes out of YOUR mouth is dripping with disdain?
• :[After throughout the whole movie mocking people about ALWAYS wanting world peace]':[tearing up]'And I really do want world peace.

Victor "Vic" Melling

• I'm sorry, what was the question? I was distracted by the half-masticated cow rolling around in your wide-open trap.

• There are no words.

• Smilers wear a crown, losers wear a frown.

• [to Gracie Hart] If I'd ever had a daughter, I imagine she might have been something like you... which is perhaps why I've never reproduced.

Dialogue

Vic: Why is New Jersey called "The Garden State"?

Gracie: Because "Oil and Petrochemical Refinery State" wouldn't fit on a license plate?

Vic: Your hair should make a statement.

Gracie: As long as it doesn't say 'Thank you very much for the Country Music Award'!

Vic: [teaches Gracie how to glide] See? Glide. It's all in the buttocks. Don't I look pretty?

Gracie: It takes a very secure man to walk like that.

Eric: Just imagine that she's me and there's something you wanna know but I don't wanna talk about it. What would you do?

Gracie: You want me to beat it out of her?

Gracie: Y'know, you got a really good shot at that insanity plea.

Kathy: (gets in the car) Yeah, well, I earned it, honey! 25 years of bitching beauty queens, and what do I get?! FIRED! They steal my life, they steal my beauty pageant!

Gracie: Hey! Hey! It is NOT a beauty pageant! It is a scholarship program.

Kathy: Yeah, yeah.

Gracie: Yes.

(she shuts the door of the police car, and it drives off with Kathy inside)

Gracie: Enjoy your running the Miss San Antonio Women's Correctional Facility Pageant. Huh? Huh? (laughs and snorts; to Eric) Get it? The Women's Correctional Facility--?

Eric: You gotta admit, part of you is going to miss this.

Gracie: I know I am going to miss the heels because they do something for my posture. And I'm suddenly very aware and proud of my breasts.

Eric: Funny, so am I.

Eric: All right, here are your new IDs. For pageant identity.

Gracie: Gracie Lou Freebush?

Eric: Yeah, remember, you like that name.

Gracie: Yeah, well, my IQ just dropped 10 points.

Other

Cheryl "Rhode Island" Frasier: Once I stole a pair of red underwear from the department store. My mom wouldn't buy them for me - she said they were Satan's panties!

Eric Matthews: Is this you not arguing? 'Cause you suck at it.

Gracie Hart: I would so love to hurt you right now.

Victor Melling: As long as you smile.

Victor Melling: What, no armored car?

Gracie Hart: That would be in my other dress.

Kathy Morningside: Of course he had a gun. This is Texas! Everybody has a gun. My florist has a gun!

Stan Fields: I don't own a gun. My ancestors were Quakers.

Taglines

• Unpolished. Unkempt. Unleashed. Undercover.
• She's Got A Killer To Catch... Right After The Swimsuit Competition.
• Never Mess With An Agent In A Dress.
• It's light beer and she's going to throw it up anyway
• I stand for world's peace.

Cast

• Sandra Bullock - Gracie Hart
• Michael Caine - Victor Melling
• Benjamin Bratt - Eric Matthews
• Candice Bergen - Cathy Morningside
• Ernie Hudson - FBI Asst. Director Harry McDonald
• William Shatner - Stan Fields
• Heather Burns - Cheryl Frasier, Miss Rhode Island