Avery Carrington

• Nothing drives down real estate prices like a good old-fashioned gang war — apart from a biblical plague, but that may be going too far in this case.

Dialogue

[Radio announcement]

Woman: What's this I found under your bed? The only Engels you're going to be reading is Laura Ingalls Wilder.

Man: If you think your child might be a Red, here are some warning signs. They read complicated literature and have concern for their fellow man. They even like to share. Tell your kids that if someone approaches them with pamphlets about recycling, an invitation to a labor rally or show any doubts about the fairness of our system, then they should find a teacher or a policeman immediately.

Maurice: But since you got elected, Vice City has been characterized by a government who cut aid to the poor, offered tax breaks to the rich and paid people to dump toxic waste near schools.

Alex Shrub: Yes, we've made a lot of progress!

Maurice: And up on Capital Hill you were instrumental in pushing through a bill allowing the manufacture and sale of Giggle Cream, a dessert with potential lethal consequences.

Alex Shrub: Uh, not true! Only 23 people have died and several of them probably deserved it.