Danny Phantom Quotations

Danny Phantom is an American animated television series created by Butch Hartman for Nickelodeon, produced by Billionfold Studios. It is distributed outside the United States by the Canadian animation company Nelvana, the same as The Fairly OddParents. All episodes are listed according to series continuity, not airdate order.

Mystery Meat [1.1]

Danny: [addresses to the Lunch Lady awkwardly] I...command you to...go away!

Lunch Lady Ghost: [sweetly] Cookie?

[Sam shakes her head no]

Lunch Lady Ghost: Then PERISH!

[Jack holds the Fenton Finder near Danny in human form]

Fenton Finder: Ghost directly ahead. You would have to be some sort of moron to not notice the ghost directly ahead.

Parental Bonding [1.2]

Jazz: [Regarding Paulina] You'd better let her know your family's insane now, Danny! If you marry her and she finds out later, that's entrapment.

Jack: [overshadowed by Danny and pushing through a crowd] Excuse me, excuse me, adult coming through, I shave everyday...

Danny: [to the dragon ghost] Take it easy, Paulina. You don't wanna hurt Sam-- [notices Paulina in dragon ghost's hand] Paulina? [to dragon ghost] Sam?

Sam: [As dragon ghost] Shallow girl!

Danny: Yep, that's Sam.

One of a Kind [1.3]

Jack: [showing the Ghost Gabber to Danny] Here! Try it!

Danny: Uh...uh...boo?

Ghost Gabber: I am a ghost. Fear me.

Sam: [after taking picture of Danny and Tucker hugging in their sleep] Boys hugging makes every yearbook funny.

Maddie: Danny, look at you, I'm not sure I like this late night studying.

Danny: Mom, c'mon. We're just a bunch of kids. In the zoo. At night. Alone. [Everyone stares at him.] We'll be in my room.

Ghost Gabber: We'll be in my room. Fear me.

Attack of the Killer Garage Sale [1.4]

Tucker: [notices the haunted TV remote bought at Danny's garage sale is floating] I'm not schooled in the ways of the rich, but do all your remotes do that?

Sam: No. Well, my toaster does, but it's from Denmark.

Danny: [to Technus] Oh, no, you don't! You're not going to use the technology in this lab to take over the world!

Technus: What? [looks around room] That's a great idea! Have you ever considered tutoring?

Danny: [to Technus] Oh, no, you don't! You're not going to use that Portals XL upgrade to make yourself more powerful!

Technus: What? [sees upgrade disk] Another great idea! The heck with tutoring! You should be a teacher!

Splitting Images [1.5]

Poindexter: [Pointing to Tucker] I'm Sydney Poindexter, and wherever there is a single nerd in need, I shall be there.

Tucker: Hey, who are you calling a nerd?

Poindexter: [in Danny's body and flying] Haha! [goes intangible] I'm doing it! [flies at Danny but phases through the wall beside him instead]

Danny: [in Poindexter's body] You may have my powers, but you sure don't know how to use 'em! ... 'Course, I don't know how to use 'em either but at least I know how not use 'em better than you do!

Sam: Danny, come quick! Some poor defenseless nerd is being shoved in his locker!

Poindexter: [who looks like Danny] Tucker! I'll save you! [Goes ghost, looks around] Hey! There's no nerd being shoved in his locker!

Tucker: [appears from behind a locker door, holding the Fenton Ghost Gloves] There is now!

Box Ghost: I am no longer the Box Ghost! I am now... [Grabs Sam's mechanical frog] ...the Mechanical Frog Ghost! [Frog shorts out] Uh.... I changed my mind! I am once again the Box Ghost! And will have nothing to do with mechanical amphibians! [Disappears]

Danny: Now there's someone who knows exactly who he is.

Danny: [to Sam; trying prove who he is since he's in Poindexter's body] In second grade, Tucker threw up in your lunchbox, but he told you Ricky Marsh did it.

Sam: What?! I kicked him off the monkey bars for that! [faces Tucker, with a surprised/angry look] It was you?! [gasps]

Sam and Tucker: Danny?!

[Danny breaks Poindexter's mirror to prevent his return]

Mr. Lancer: Fenton, that's school property!

[Danny and his friends turn to face him and a group of angry students.]

Danny: I can explain! [pause] Actually, I really can't.

What You Want [1.6]

Danny: [Sardonically, after being trod on by football team] Fill in for the mascot. It'll be fun. You'll meet cheerleaders...

Paulina: [to Danny, as Sayonara Paulina] Hi, I'm Paulina. I'm cute, swell, and full of big-headed animal goodness!

Danny: Bye-bye, kitty!

Danny: [to the man in the flying car] Hey, slow down, Jeff Gordon! You're going over the speed limit! [looks down] And the height limit!

Tucker: [angrily] Oh sure, phase the car through the building. You had to save the day, didn't you?

Danny: Um, yeah, because a car smashing into the 28th floor of anything is bad!

Mr. Lancer: [after an invisible Tucker pulls several pranks on him] Gulliver's Travels, I'm losing my mind! [Tucker, still invisible, pulls his pants down] And my pants!

Tucker: [After Danny threw a skeleton at him] Ha! Is that the best you got?!

Danny: Unfortunantly, yes. I can't get through to him....But I know what can! Catch me if you can, Sucker Phantom! [Phases through the floor]

Tucker: That's Tucker Phantom! Tucker! [Chases after him]

Bitter Reunions [1.7]

Danny: [to the ghost vultures] Um, you fellas look kinda lost. Would you mind staying that way?

Ghost Vulture: Mind your own business, fancy-pants ghost boy!

Maddie: [to Danny] You're constantly late getting home...

Jack: You're shirking from your chores...

Maddie: Your grades are slipping...

Jack: You're shirking from your chores...

Danny: You already said chores.

Jack: I know, but when you don't do 'em, I get stuck with 'em.

Vlad: I insist you stay.

Jack: Well... I don't know. We do have that really cool R.V.

Jazz: [feigns a sneeze] Let's stay here.

Danny: Smooth...

Vlad: [to Danny] My vultures were supposed to bring me the idiot but you'll do - Danny Phantom, right?

Danny: [surprised] You...you know me?

Vlad: Of course I know you. You're that ghost boy who uses his powers for good. How quaint. What are you gonna do? Shove me into your ridiculous thermos?

Danny: [increasingly scared] I...don't want to fight you?

Vlad: No. No, you don't. [attacks]

Maddie: [regarding Jack] I'm sorry, Harriet.

Harrie: Honey, you married him. You should be. [smiles benignly]

Danny: [about Jack] Okay, I'm officially mortified.

Harrie: What took so long?

Danny: The glowing blade is new.

Skulker: You like it? I've had some upgrades!

Danny: [trapped in a spectral neutralizer] Let me go!

Vlad: Why? So you can go stumbling through your adolescence, desperately trying to control your powers? Powers, by the way, that I've had for over 20 years. I have experience, my child. And the money and power from using my abilities for personal gain, you see. I could train you, teach you everything I know; and all you'd have to do is renounce your idiot father.

Danny: Dude, you are one seriously crazed-up fruit loop. That is never going to happen.

Vlad: Yes, well once your father is out of the way, we'll see how you feel.

Dairy King: Try the Gouda; it's dairy fresh! [disappears through the ceiling]

Jack: [after being overshadowed by Vlad] No one uses Jack Fenton as a human meat puppet!

[Vlad's trying to convince Danny to join his side.]

Danny: Forget it, man. Money can't buy my mom, it can't buy the Packers, and it's certainly not going to buy me!

Prisoners Of Love [1.8]

Box Ghost: [to Danny, once Walker arrives] Flee! Lest you be hermetically sealed and shipped to your DOOM!

Walker: [while welcoming Danny to prison] I am your judge; executioner; jury; executioner; jailer; and, if necessary, your executioner.

Danny: Uh, you said executioner three times.

Walker: I like that part of the job.

Danny: Great. My parents are splitting up, my sister's a basketcase, and I'm going to ghost jail. This may be the worst day of my life.

Skulker: Well, if it isn't the little whelp who got us locked up in this stinking place. Welcome home. [grins ferally]

Danny: This is the worst day of my life.

Box Ghost: I am the Box Ghost!!

Danny: Will you stop that?!

[Danny hesitantly walks into the jail cafeteria full of his enemies]

Danny: Wow, hehe.. Pretty much everyone who hates me all at one table... Just like high school...

Danny: [after being slammed into a table] Ow! My...ghost leg...!

Walker: Guards! Guards!! What's going on down there!? Answer me!

Danny: [kicks Walker's office door open] How about saying "please"? Saying "please" is a rule.

Walker: [amazed] It is? [starts flipping through the thick rule book furiously]

Danny: [Slams the book shut] Is now.

My Brother's Keeper [1.9]

Mr. Lancer: Jasmine, did you know I was a cheerleader when I went to school here? [hands Jazz a photo of himself in a cheerleader outfit]

Jazz: Really? Weird. No clue.

Jazz: Is it always so cold in here?

Spectra: Of course. I find that cold temperatures keep the mind icy sharp!

Spectra: The dominoes represent how each person's spirit affects the next person they touch! Slammin', huh?

Jazz: If by "slamming" you mean "weird," then yes.

Spectra: And don't you worry about the mess of an office, either. Stuff happens. No biggie. Right, Jasmine?

Jazz: It's Jazz. My friends call me Jazz.

Danny: Well, your brother calls you "fink"!

Jazz: Danny, I'm just trying to help. C'mon, we used to talk all the time.

Danny: Yeah, when I was eight and you weren't a fink!

Danny: [shivers] I can't believe my stupid sister convinced Lancer to make this my punishment. And can we turn up the heat in here? I can see my own breath!

Spectra: Wow, you do complain a lot. Well, your sister did say you could be a bit of a baby...

Danny: What?!

Spectra: Sweetie, it's not your fault she thinks you're a loser.

Danny: Wait, Jazz called me a loser, too?

Spectra: Hey, those are her issues. I'm not saying your a loser, Danny. I think you're a great kid! [puts her hands on his shoulders]

Danny: Then why do I feel so miserable?

Spectra: You know what I think? You might be a mess, but mess is just the beginning of message! Now go out there and be a better you!

Danny: I can't believe Jazz told that shrink I'm a loser.

Sam: Are you sure Jazz said that? That doesn't sound like Jazz to me.

Jazz: Hey, you guys. What doesn't sound like Jazz to you?

Danny: [scowls at Jazz]

Jazz: Still mad?

Danny: [sarcastically] Wow, you are the smart one!

Jazz: [after seeing Danny Phantom fly away] A ghost? Wait 'til I tell Danny!

[scene switches to FentonWorks]

Jazz: What do you mean you didn't see a ghost?

Danny: It didn't look like a ghost to me. It just looked like a big bug. So I ran. Like a loser.

Spectra: But we're gonna take that accident and make it an "acci-don't" and learn from it so it never happens again!

Mr. Lancer: [To Danny] You could learn a little bit about school spirit from Ms. Spectra here. When I was in school, I got the same advice. And look how I turned out!!

Spectra & Danny: [shares an uncertain glance]

Dash: Where did you want to put these banners up, Ms... [sees Danny in a baby suit] Hey, guys, check it out! It's the Casper High Spirit Baby! [laughs along with other jocks]

Tucker: Man, it was brutal making you wear that stupid baby suit! I could hardly watch! [pulls out his PDA and shows the picture he's taken] Though I think it's a good digital face.

Danny: Hey, whose side are you on, anyways?!

Jazz: [to Sam and Tucker, after seeing Danny transforming into a ghost] Did you see that?! Tell me I didn't see what I saw!

Tucker: It's not what you think, Jazz!

Sam: [shoves Tucker's ice cream into his mouth] Of course it's not what you think. Ghosts aren't real! Jazz, you sound like your father.

Bertrand: Well, that's enough damage for one afternoon. [transforms into his blob-like state and disappears through the ceiling]

Tucker: I sure hope they're insured.

Danny: Great, he got away again. Another ringing endorsement for the town's screw-up.

Danny: [pointing out Jazz] What the heck is she so happy about?

Sam: Don't ask me. I'm usually the sour one around here, but compared to everyone else, I'm the Gothbird of Happiness.

Tucker: I hate my life.

Sam: I hate your life more.

Spectra: [calling after them] Remember, there's only an I in misery if you spell it that way!

Bertrand: After we've destroyed everything, you up for a cappuccino?

Spectra: Oooh, that's a marvellous idea.

[Bertrand gets blasted by Danny]

Danny: I figured it out, finally. You feed on misery, don't you?

Spectra: I'm sorry. Can I help you?

Danny: No, I'm sure you can't. You can't help anyone except yourself.

[Spectra advances towards Danny but he flies out of the way and floats behind her]

Danny: You find out one thing that a kid's most afraid of--their future, their looks, their confidence...and you pick at it and pick at it while your snippy little ghost assistant feeds on it.

Bertrand: HEY!

[After Spectra grabs Danny]

Danny: Let go of me!

Spectra: Why would I do that? Your doubts, your misery, it's delicious! And the best part is, after that silly speech is over, and the last domino falls, and the sparklers vaporize the speaker, we'll leave you here to take the blame! And by the time I'm done with you, you'll be sure it was all your fault!

Danny: Man, I'm so tired of you dumping on me, and I'm so tired of dumping on myself. Jazz never did that, even when I was mad at her, and I won't let her DOWN! [blasts Spectra and becomes free]

Spectra: What are you? A ghost trying to fit in with humans? Or a creepy little boy with creepy little powers?

Danny: Both! Uh, neither! ...I don't know!

Spectra: [as Fenton Peeler is peeling her apart layer by layer] AAAHHHH!!!

Danny: Talk about having nothing within.

Lancer: Your disappearing act worked marvellously. They've got their spirit back.

Jazz: They're not the only ones, Mr. Lancer. They're not the only ones. [watches Danny fly around with a completely blissful look on his face through the window]

Shades of Gray [1.10]

Ghost Dog: [grabs the cafeteria lady in his mouth, causing her to scream]

Danny: [nervous] Nice pooch, easy. That lady isn't edible. And neither is anything she cooks!

Ghost Dog: [drops her and looks at Danny happily]

Danny: And neither am I! [goes intangible just before the Ghost Dog phases them both through the wall]

Cafeteria Lady: [glares before pulling out a tray of food covered in green goo] It's still good! Who wants seconds?

Sam: [to Danny] You're not much of a dog catcher.

Danny: Yeah, no kidding. Who let the dogs in? [Sam stares] See, the song is "Who Let The Dogs Out," but I said "Who Let the Dogs In." [Sam continues staring] I'll be right back. [dives under the table]

Sam: Bring some new jokes!

Danny: Sam, hide!

Sam: No time! [pushes Danny into the bushes]

Valerie: No escaping me now, ghost boy! [sees Danny and Sam kissing]

Sam: Aaah! Do you mind?!

Valerie: Ah, gross, loser love! I always knew you two geeks would end up together. [Valerie flies off]

Sam: That sounded like Valerie. [looks at Danny, who is smiling] Uh, Danny, you didn't think it was a real kiss, did you?

Danny: [nervously] No, why? Did you?

Sam: [bites her lip]

[The scene cuts to the next day at school]

Tucker: Wait! You guys kissed?

Danny and Sam: No! It was a fake-out make-out!

Tucker: But that still has the words "make" and "out" in it, right?

Danny: [about Tucker liking Valerie] Two-hundred seventy-nine girls in our school, and he's gotta have a crush on the one with the weapons and the grudge.

Fanning the Flames [1.11]

Danny: I don't get it. This Ember McLain comes out of nowhere and suddenly she's the biggest thing since mp3s! It's so...

Sam: Infuriating how mindless prepackaged corporate bubble gum is preventing true musical artists from being heard?

Danny: I was gonna say weird but uh... okay.

Tucker: Ember's not just about music. She is an expression of my unique individuality.

[Everyone in the school is wearing Ember's merchandise.]

Sam: Oh yeah, you're one of a kind. Every single one of you.

Danny: I gotta save Lancer! Wow, this is bittersweet.

Danny: Tucker, you're starting to scare me. And I fight ghosts!

Tucker: It's an Ember thing. You wouldn't understand it.

Sam: Uh, you do realize she's an evil mind-controlling spirit from another dimension.

Tucker: Yeah, but you said the same thing about Paulina.

Danny: You know, he has a point.

Danny and Sam: [repeated lines] We're not lovebirds!

Danny: [blasts Ember away] Hey, do you take requests? How about "Beat It"?!

Danny: [to Ember] Dipstick, ho ho. Funny. Who writes your insults? The same hack who writes your songs?

[Danny is hit with Ember's love spell]

Sam: Wait. I know that look. That's that same longing, puppy dog stare you give Paulina.

Danny: Who's Paulina?

Sam: That's a pleasant side effect.

Danny: [to Sam] You're really pretty when you're about to fall off a building.

Lancer: ...And as for your precious "Ember", she's going down! [jumps out of the way just before the falling giant Ember cutout slices through the bus he was standing on]

Danny: [Sam taps at his window] Sam! You snuck out to see me! Oh, this is just like Romeo and Juliet, except I'm the one on the balcony and I can understand everything we're saying.

Sam: [to Danny] You don't feel that way about me and I don't feel that way about you.

Danny: So why are you still holding my hands?

Danny: You're beautiful when you're racked with guilt.

[Sam kisses Dash to break the spell.]

Dash: Ah! She tastes like geek!

Sam: Ah! He tastes like failure!

Danny: Hey! No-Hit Wonder! Mind if I jam with the band?!

Ember: Get this straight, dipstick! I don't do duets!

Danny: [grabs the microphone before Ember sings] Sorry! No vocals on this number. Have you considered taking up mime?

Sam: [hugs Danny then blushes] I guess Ember's spell hasn't quite worn off.

Tucker: You were never under Ember's spell. [Sam elbows Tucker]

Teacher Of The Year [1.12]

[Tucker is about to be destroyed in the video game]

Tucker: Danny, I just want you to know... I accidentally killed your gerbil in the 6th grade.

Danny: What?!

[Danny produces a ghost shield for the first time.]

Danny: [excited] Wow, cool! [confused] How'd I do that?

Sam: [about not being able to play video games] Why? Because I'm a girl? And we girls lack, what? Opposable thumbs? One track minds? Stupid berets?

Tucker: Hey!

Technus: So what exactly is the point of this 'skill' contest?

Tucker: To defeat all foes, get to Level 13, and retrieve the 7 Silver Key to the Apocalypse.

Technus: And what happens after that?

Tucker: Gain ultimate power of the World Wide Web!

Technus: Very well. Then I, Technus, shall use my ghost powers and new-found gaming prowess to win the game and spread my intellect to every machine in the world!! [pause] My... that was a long speech.

Tucker: What? Technus?

Technus: Bingo, booby! Game over!

Maddie: Get this straight, Danny. You're a Fenton. Fentons get "A"s, or in your father's case, "B" minuses.

Jack: [looking proud] Solid "B" minuses!

Maddie: Until you retake that test and pass it with flying colors, we are FORBIDDING access to all electronic devices.

Danny: [cell phone rings] It's Tucker.

Jack: [snatches Danny's phone] He's BUSY! [crushes Danny's phone]

Lancer: [picks up the picture of his "sister"] Ah, the old "I don't get to see my sister" speech gets 'em every time. Why don't they ever realize that's me in a dress?

[Danny rushes in with his test that he received an A-minus on]

Danny: [quickly] Hello! Not an idiot! See ya!

Jack: [holds Danny's crushed cellphone in hand] I should give him his phone back...

"13" [1.13]

Concessions Kid: [gasps] I know you. You're Bad Luck Tuck!

Tucker: And you're Minimum Wage Stan, but you don't hear me broadcasting it.

Maddie: [to Danny, in a serious tone] Were you spying on them?

Danny: All right, all right! I was spying on Jazz and I'm really...

Jack: [whispers] Good job.

Maddie: Yeah, way to go, Danny. And if you see Jazz with that hooligan again, you let us know.

Jack and Maddie: [loudly] And don't do it again!

Jack: [whispers] But seriously, feel free to do it again.

Jack: [about Johnny] He's on the run!

Maddie: And I've got the Fenton Anti-Creep Stick. Let's get him!

Jack: Sweetie, that's just a regular bat.

Maddie: Yep, but it's a bat with the word 'Fenton' on it. [jumps out the door]

Jack: Man, that's hot!

Jack: [to Danny] You decked him? [sadder tone] But we brought the bat... with the word 'Fenton' on it....

Public Enemies [1.14]

[Bullet and some ghost cops are chasing an escapee from prison.]

Prisoner: You'll never take me alive!

Bullet: [deadpan] You're a ghost.

Prisoner: Well, you'll still never take me!

Sam: Oh man! I've never seen this many ghosts attacking at once.

Danny: I'm gonna need a bigger thermos.

[One of Walker's crew tackles Danny]

Tucker: And a paramedic.

Sam: A curfew?

Tucker: An escort?

Danny: Okay, who's the idiot security adviser who came up with these lame ideas?

[Jack & Maddie enter the room]

Jack: Fear not, young ones, we're here to make sure this school is prepared for any ghost emergencies.

Maddie: [On megaphone] You must be cautious, at any time one of these ectoplasmic malefactors - [spots Danny in the crowd] hi sweetie! [Danny ducks down and blushes] - could appear out of no where.

Danny: [to Sam & Tucker] Time to sit in the back where nobody can notice us?

Sam: Time to sit in the back where nobody can notice us.

Mr. Lancer: [to Danny; panicky] Bridget Jones's Diary! Fenton, stop your screaming and get yourself over to a safe area!

[The trio are eating lunch inside a ghost shield provided by the Fenton RV]

Danny: [After his ghost sense goes off] Here, AGAIN?!

Tucker: But we're chewing like the wind in an anti-Ghost Zone. Where could the ghost be?

[The shield explodes and Wulf appears]

Sam: Survey says, behind us.

Sam: [To Tucker] Ask him what Walker's up to.

Tucker: [speaks Esperanto to Wulf]

Wulf: [responds back in Esperanto]

Tucker: [rocks back and forth in a casual manner] Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Sam: You have no idea what he's talking about.

Tucker: Nope, not a clue.

[Wulf snarls angrily at Sam]

Tucker: He says not to touch that.

Sam: [sarcastically] Really? I must have missed the subtext.

[Wulf twitches in pain caused by the collar he's wearing]

Tucker: The collar! It's hurting him!

Sam: What did you think it was? A fashion accessory? We have to get it off.

Paulina: [is being overshadowed by a ghost] You can't get away from me!

Danny: Wow, I waited all puberty for a girl to say that to me, and now it's a complete bummer.

[Danny's just figured out Walker's plan and been declared Public Enemy #1. Tucker hands him the Fenton Thermos.]

Tucker: You may need this.

Danny: Are you nuts? If I leave this house, I'm dead.

Sam: Danny, you have to. If you don't, who will?

[Danny is surrounded by Walker and his goons.]

Walker: [in the mayor's body] Shouldn't you be running?

Danny: [whips out the Fenton Thermos] Shouldn't you?

[Danny sucks a ghost that had been overshadowing Paulina into the Fenton Thermos]

Paulina: [To Danny] Wait, you saved me? So you're like a friendly ghost?

Danny: Yeah, with some friendly advice; RUN!!

Maddie: [to Danny, about Mayor Montez] Get your hands off our duly elected leader, you odd manifestation of ectoplasmic energy and post-human consciousness!

Maddie: [to Danny, with Fenton Bazooka to his head, about to shoot] By the authority invested in me by the city of Amity Park, I sentence you back from once you came!

Danny: Oh man, I have got to start paying more attention in these fights.

Maddie: [finds note on Fenton Bazooka, reads it] "Honey, forgot to fully charge Fenton Bazooka. - Jack. P.S.: Can I have a cookie?"

Danny: With that, I bid you a fond farewell. [flies away]

Maddie: [waves fist] You haven't seen the last of me!

Danny: [out of earshot] Duh, I'll see you at dinner.

Fright Knight [1.15]

Tucker: [after Dash pulls out his dirty underwear] I don't know what's scarier. The underwear, or the fact he keeps them in his coat.

Maddie: [reading ghost detector] This ecto-storm is coming from the direction of 917 Maple Street.

Jack: 917 Maple, eh? I could have sworn it was coming from that big spooky house with the big, swirly cloud overhead.

Tucker: [thinks Danny is dressed up as Fright Knight] Pretty neat horse though, what's it made of, flaming bed sheets?

Fright Knight: Flaming bed sheets of death!!

Sam: [reading a spell from a book] To cease the Storm, to end the Fear, the sword must sheath in pumpkin near. Pumpkin near! Danny, you gotta put the sword back in a pumpkin!

Danny: A pumpkin? There are no pumpkins in the room. [short pause] No pumpkins in the room? It's Halloween, what am I, an idiot?

Maternal Instincts [1.16]

[Danny overshadows Tucker]

Danny: Hi I'm Tucker Foley. Don't let the PDA, glasses, and lack of muscle fool you. I'm a stud.

[after Danny crashes into a wall]

Tucker: [imitating Danny] Hi, I'm Danny Fenton. Don't let the concussion and bruises fool you. I need more practice.

[Danny uses his ghost powers to make Tucker fall through the floor]

Sam: [surprise] Wow, it's quiet in here.

[Danny attempts to duplicate himself but ends up with two heads]

Tucker: Cool! Now you can eat the nasty burger AND fries at the same time!

Maddie: And Jack? Please try not to trash the house while I'm gone.

Jack: I sucked the house into a parallel dimension ONE TIME, and you just can't let it go, can you?

Danny: Do you want the truth or one of those little white lies that doesn't hurt your feelings?

Vlad: Why, Maddie and Danny Fenton.

Maddie and Danny: Vlad Masters?!

Vlad: Oh, what a completely unexpected and totally unplanned surprise. [Pulls gift baskets out of nowhere] Personalized gift baskets? [Maddie runs up and grabs them]

Danny: [suspiciously] You're up to something.

Vlad: Oh, you think? [to a hidden microphone] They're here, kill Jack.

Maddie: What was that?

Vlad: I said... Flapjacks! Mm-hm, pancakes. I have pancakes.

Jack: Note to myself; make a Jazz action figure! [gives an action figure of himself a squeeze]

Danny: So long, Vlad, and as a lonely single man in your forties, might I suggest internet dating? Or a cat!!

Vlad: Mark my words Maddie, no one says no to Vlad Masters! You will rue the day you spurned my affections! And I. Will. Not. Get. A. Cat!!

[Jazz is about to go out]

Jack: Careful. Teenage boys are like wild animals.

Jazz: [opens the door and a huge mutant rabbit ghost attacks her]: Ahhh!

Jack: [jumps in front of Jazz with the Jack-a-nine Tails] Back off, she's a minor!

Danny: [while Maddie fights the ghost animals] How can she not have a phone in there?

Danny: Great. At midnight I get my powers back, at 12:01 the belt zaps me, and at 12:02 Vlad tries to make-out with my mom. Those are gonna' be the worst two minutes of my life.

Danny: But he's my arch enemy...I mean...he said all those horrible things about Dad!

Maddie: We both know he's a creep. But he's a creep with a phone and transportation. And pancakes!

Vlad: Maddie! Daniel! You've returned to me! Oh, and not a moment too soon.

Maddie: Danny, go somewhere else, while the adults talk.

Danny: Oh, sure. You and Vlad get cozy. If you need me, I'll be over there...barfing.

Danny: Hey, uh... "Uncle" Vlad?

Vlad: Oh please, Daniel, don't try to butter me up! Especially when your powers are shorted out for another fifteen minutes! You're barely a threat to me with them. Without them, well, I wouldn't need fifteen seconds, would I?

Danny: How can you say that? You think my mom made the decision to come back on her own? We're a family. We both talked about it last night, and I want to stay here with you, too.

Vlad: Really? You don't mean....

Danny: Yes, I do. Come on! Give me a big hug... New Dad!

[Vlad walks over to Danny to hug him, but Danny quickly straps the Fenton Specter Deflector to his waist.]

Vlad: Ah! You little rat! You tricked me! You know what this will mean for you, don't you?

Danny: Oh yeah. [The clock strikes midnight and Danny transforms] A much fairer fight!

Vlad: [after saying how Danny was bad at Math] I'll give you a 5 minute head start. [Danny runs away as fast as he can] 5 minutes, 5 seconds, apparently I'm bad at maths too! [to ghost animals] Get him!

Vlad: [to Maddie] I've been able to forgive Jack for a lot of things. Causing the accident that ruined my life, stealing you, the backwash incident...

Maddie: Whoa, whoa, back up. What was that?

Vlad: Causing the accident that ruined my life?

Maddie: No, no. After that.

Vlad: The backwash incident?

Maddie: [frustrated] No! In. The. Middle!

Vlad: Oh, stealing you? [sighs] You were always able to see right through me, Maddie.

Jack: [Sees Jazz in her mom's spare Hazmat suit] Jazz? Why, look at you. You're the spitting image of your mother. I always knew this day would come. That why, years ago, I had this made! [Pulls out a hazmat suit identical to his own]

Jazz: [Sarcastically] Nice.

Jack: Uh... Sorry about the size. I always thought you'd be swimming in my end of the gene pool. The end filled with ranch dressing, melted cheese and fudge. LOTS of fudge.

Lucky In Love [1.17]

Danny: Whew, it's hot! Aren't you sweaty, Sam?

Sam: Regular people sweat. Goths, we simmer.

Danny: [sniffs her] I...think you're overcooked.

Sam: Excuse me while I find a nice, dark place to throw up in.

Danny: So, you think it's cool that I've got these powers?

Paulina: Cool? No. I think it's hot! See ya!

Danny: I'm hot? I'm hot?! I'm hot!!

Dash: [shoots Danny with water gun] That'll cool you off. By the way, this isn't water, if you catch my drift.

Danny: [after draining a pool with Johnny 13's shadow in it] Enjoy your trip to the sewers! Oh, and if you see Monday's meatloaf, say "Hi" for me.

[Johnny 13's shadow has just come out of a school water fountain]

Sam: So that's where the town's sewage goes. [knowing grin] I knew it.

Tucker: [to Sam, who's looking at Danny and Paulina] You okay?

Sam: Of course I am! Why would I not be okay?! LOOK how HAPPY he is!! [punches a hole in a locker]

[A-List guys start laughing at Paulina's terrible bowling skills]

Paulina: I'm so embarrassing myself. Danny, could you be an angel and give me a little invisible help?

Danny: But that's cheating.

[Paulina kisses Danny]

Danny: ...Or creative point scoring! I'll be right back after you strike.

Sam: [to Kwan] I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm going to a Goth poetry reading tonight. It may not be your kind of thing but...?

Kwan: So...It's like a pity date?

Sam: Not like a date, but plenty of pity.

Kwan: [cheerfully] Aw, sweet!

[Kwan and Sam are at a poetry reading.]

Goth: Darkness... eternal... I wait for your kiss. In the nothing, I see your bleak smile.

Kwan: Oh, cool, me next!

Sam: Oh, no.

Kwan: [on stage] And now, a little poem I like to call, "The Fluffy Clouds All Look Like Footballs."

[Everyone in the bookstore stares at him. The scene cuts to the manager throwing Sam and Kwan out.]

Manager: And stay out! [slams the door]

[Sam glares at Kwan, who grins sheepishly.]

Sam: Danny, I...have a plan on how you can get rid of her, but it's kinda radical.

Paulina: [from a distance in a sing-song voice] Danny! Has anyone seen my Danny?

Danny: [instantly turns invisible] Radical's good. Let's hear it.

[Johnny throws fake punches that Danny dodges with ease]

Danny: My turn! [hits Johnny really hard on the nose]

Johnny: [whispering] Hey, I thought this was a pretend fight!

Danny: Then "pretend" that didn't hurt! [punches him again]

Danny: [to Paulina who is no longer overshadowed by Kitty] Do you know who I am, by any chance?

Paulina: Yeah. You're that ghost boy who saved me. Twice, apparently. Inviso-Bill, right?

Danny: [scowls] I need a publicist.

Danny: [after seeing Paulina kiss a Danny Phantom photo in her locker-shrine] Guys, can you believe that? Paulina's still in love, but with the wrong me!!

Life Lessons [1.18]

[school bell rings]

Valerie: Later for you, punk!

Danny: I'll be waiting, creep!

[Valerie and Danny both change back into their normal state and run toward the same Health Sciences class and bump into each other]

Valerie: Watch it, punk!

Danny: You watch it, creep!

Mrs. Testlaff: Fenton! Gray! Congratulations, you two stragglers are paired up for a special week-long health sciences project. I now pronounce you man, wife, and child.

[Mrs. Testlaff hands Danny the flour sack]

Danny: I am so not kissing the bride!

Valerie: What makes you think you can?

Skulker: Hmm, I'm going to need the right bait to lure those two back to battle.

[Skulker's cage full of freaky ghosts appears]

Skulker: [studying the cage's inhabitants] Too scaly, too frightening, you I plan on feasting on for dinner... Yes, you'll do. [pulls out the Box Ghost]

Box Ghost: I am the Box Ghost! You have- [promptly muzzled]

Danny: Oh man, can you watch the kid for me?

Tucker: What do I look like, a baby-sitting service? [Danny hands him a five dollar bill, and Tucker looks at Danny's flour sack with glee] Come to Uncle Tucker and his baby-sitting service.

Danny: [fighting Valerie] Don't you have anything better to do?

Valerie: This is what I do! [blasts him]

Tucker: Oh my gosh, the other babies! Gotta go! [kisses flour sack] Bye! [kisses Sam]

[pause] Uh...

Sam: That never happened.

Tucker: Ya got that right. Daddy's gotta run!

Sam: Don't forget to pick up milk!

The Million-Dollar Ghost [1.19]

Mr. Lancer: [to Jack, who just ripped his clothes off with Fenton Peeler, thinking he was a ghost] I can't give you detention, but someone named Fenton is staying after school.

Jack & Jazz: [pretend to check their watches] Whoa, look at the time! [they both run away, leaving Danny there]

Vlad: [while he's doing it] Oh, please, Daniel, must I actually defeat you with one hand behind my back before you realize, you're outmatched?

Danny: So you're the one who hired all these idiots?

Vlad: Yes, all except your father. He's a free idiot.

Danny: [to Sam and Tucker] My dad looked like a total fool. Did you see the way those ghost hunters were laughing at him? How embarrassing! We're all gonna have to live with my dad's goof-ups for the rest of our lives. [pause; Sam clears her throat] He's right behind me isn't he?

Tucker: Nice. You wanna go make your mom cry?

Maddie: Quiet, Jazz. There are ghosts about.

[Ghost vultures appear.]

Ghost Vulture: Actually, we find the word "ghost" insensitive. We prefer the term "ecto-Americans".

[Maddie and Jazz are running away from the ghost vultures.]

Maddie: C'mon, Jazz! We have to get to the weapons vault!

Jazz: We have a weapons vault?

Jack: [sets Danny free from the Fenton Weasel] Ghost kid, you gotta help me save my family. If you do, I'll set you free.

Danny: Um, you just did. [Jack smacks his forehead] [to himself] Good thing my dad's a lousy negotiator.

Jack: [while he and Danny are flying] Happy place, happy place!

Jack: Watch out for that hacky- [gets splattered by hackysack] -sack. [to Danny Phantom] Just so you know, I don't enjoy helping you.

Danny: Then don't! I can handle these idiots, go save our family! I mean, yours...your family...not mine.

Jack: [to Vlad] I may be a goof, I may mess up, but when my family's in danger, the gloves are off! [notices he's wearing the Fenton Ghost Gloves] Well...technically they're on, but you get the idea!

[Jack's about to throw Vlad into the Ghost Zone.]

Vlad: [disbelievingly] This isn't possible. You're an idiot, an idiot!

Jack: Maybe, but I'm the idiot who beat you.

Jazz: [trapped inside weapons vault with Maddie] Jack! Man, that's cool.

Control Freaks [1.20]

Sam: [after her parents wake her up and open the blinds, letting the sun in] I’m a creature of the night, doomed to a family of morning people....

Sam: [sarcastically] Nice job, Danny! Maybe I should’ve cried, “Hey, it’s Inviso-Bill”?!

Danny: I’m sorry! I don’t know what came over me back there.

Jack: [to Danny] Bad judgment, that’s what! Next time think before you act! [wrist ectoplasmic goo launcher accidentally misfires and splatters goo all over Sam’s parents]

Sam's Mom: Obviously, the apple doesn't fall far from the overbearing, orange jumpsuited tree!

Jack: You got a problem with jumpsuits?!

Maddie: Jack, let me handle this... You got a problem with jumpsuits?!

[The kids are serving detention with Mr. Lancer]

Sam: I wanted to experience something horrific and unimaginable; this isn’t what I had in mind.

[The camera focuses on Lancer clipping his toenails.]

[Danny, under Freakshow's control, cuts the wire Sam's standing on. She falls.]

Sam: [screams]

[Suddenly, Danny regains his free will and rescues her.]

Sam: [catching her breath] Danny! Don't scare me like that!

Danny: [going back under Freakshow's control] How should I scare you?

[Mr. and Mrs. Manson catch Sam and Tucker at Circus Gothica.]

Mrs. Manson: Sam?! Shouldn't you be in detention?

Sam: Um...Lancer let us out?

[Cut to Mr. Lancer locked in the janitor's closet.]

Mr. Lancer: Let me out!

Sam: How ironic is it that I'm stuck under house arrest while my parents go to a free Circus Gothica show?

Tucker: Only slightly less ironic than the fact that they were right about it being evil.

[Sam and Tucker are standing on a bridge with the Circus Gothica train passing beneath them.]

Sam: C'mon, we have to jump!

Tucker: Are you crazy?! I can't jump!

Sam: And I can't abandon Danny!

Sam: Well, it's the crystal ball, or your friend, Danny. Your choice! [Sam almost falls off the train, then gets thrown off] I didn't mean that to be so literal!

[Danny finally comes to his senses.]

Danny: I did some bad stuff, didn't I?

Sam: [gently] Nothing you can't fix.

[Danny and the other ghosts turn on Freakshow.]

Freakshow: [nervously] Um, when I called you my minions, it was really a term of endearment. Like, 'I love my minions'. [smiles innocently]

Memory Blank [2.1]

Tucker: Good job beating the big cow, Danny.

Danny: Yeah, well it hasn't stopped Sam from busting my chops about "Cruelty to Unliving Plastic Animals".

Sam: I had to choose between fake cows and evil trucks. The cow won.

Danny and Tucker: Pretty please with those dark licorice sprinkles and the black frosting you like with those little gummy bats on top?

Desiree: [after hearing Mikey's wish] So you have wished it and so...oh, you know the rest.

[Sam just saved Danny from Terminatra using the Spector Deflector and is helping him out of a fountain]

Danny: Nice save! Although to be fair, I probably wouldn't have needed it if it weren't for you in the first place. [Spector Deflector glows and zaps Danny. He screams and falls back in the fountain.]

Sam: Uh, exuse me? I save your butt, and you're giving me grief?!

Danny: Welcome to my world, remember? [gestures, sarcastically] We should make the menu Recyclo-Vegetarian! We should let the gorilla out. We should sell all of your dad's stuff at a garage sale! [crosses arms]

Sam: Anything else you wanna blame me for? World hunger? The Ice Age? Puberty?!

Paulina: [after Sam wears pink to get Danny's attention] She surrendered her individuality for a boy! I'm so proud of her!

Danny: [to Tucker, while watching Sam battle Nightmerica] That might just be the coolest girl on the planet.

Tucker: Or she's nuts. Really, really nuts.

[Jack sees Danny kissing Sam]

Danny: [whispers to Sam] I call that a fakeout makeout.

Sam: [blushes] Yeah, I know.

Jack: [to Danny] You're in a lot of trouble, mister! [to Sam] And who the heck are you?

Sam: Uh...I'm Paulina?

Jack: Then Danny Fenton is never, ever, allowed to see you, Paulina. [Sam smiles]

Mr. Lancer: Thousands of meteors will be visible in the skies of Amity Park this Friday. People tend to wish upon these falling stars without realizing that at the speeds they're falling, [dramatically] they could drill through your tiny skulls like they were wet toilet paper.

Sam: This is bad!

Danny: [unwillingly phasing through the floor] And this is worse! [completely phased through] Hey, why is there a lot of meat down here?

Danny: I'm going...to become ghostly!

Sam: It's...going ghost.

Danny: ...Nah!

Sam: Danny, use your ghost ray! You can fire a ghost ray out of your hand!

Danny: [concentrating] Ghost ray, ghost ray... [butt begins to glow green] Well, that can't be right! But it'll have to do! [fires ghost ray out of butt]

Tucker: [being chased by a monster truck] Ahhh!!!

[truck turns back to normal]

Tucker: Yes!

[truck disappears]

Tucker: NO!!!

Tucker: Oh, man, that was close. [Danny bends over to pick up the thermos] Watch where you're pointing that thing!

Doctor's Disorders [2.2]

Danny: Phew, what is that smell?

Tucker: This? [shows Danny a spray-can] It's my new all-over body spray. I made it myself. I call it "Foley" by Tucker Foley. [sprays some on himself] It combines with your natural odor to create a sweet manly scent, that smells different to everyone who sniffs it.

Danny: Tuck, you smell like a sweaty cookie.

Jack: Why should we trust you?

Dr. Bert Rand: Because I'm with the government and I can audit your taxes if you don't.

Jack: We trust you.

[Tucker catches Jazz.]

Tucker: Yes, I got her!

Jazz: Your fly's open.

Danny: Sam, are you okay? I heard a scream.

Sam: Yeah, that was me. [about Paulina] You'd scream too if you were stuck in a sleepover with her.

Danny: Actually, I kinda doubt that.

Danny: You're Spectra's assistant, Bertrand! Bert Rand,Bertrand. How did I miss that?

Tucker: [from outside the hospital] Spooky hospital. Ghosts guarding the joint. Still, no sign that Danny's in any real danger yet.

Danny: [from inside the hospital] Let me go!

Tucker: Still, technically not a cry for help.

Danny: HELP!!

Tucker: Well, not a cry for me.

Danny: TUCKER!!!

Tucker: Ah, dang.

Tucker: [after spraying the guards with "Foley" and the ghost fall from disgust]Oh? Please! You're ghosts! You have any idea what you smell like?

Danny: [seeing Spectra turn into a walking snot monster] I was going to mention that there's a "you blew it" pun on you somewhere, but I rather not.

[later, after the above quote]

Spectra: Alright kid, let's boogie.

Danny: See, that was the thing I was trying to avoid with the whole "blew it" comment.

Pirate Radio [2.3]

Youngblood: Avast ye bilgerats!...Uh...Bilgerats is right, isn't it?

Parrot: [nods]

Danny: Mom, Dad! I really wanna use the emergency op-center to start a radio station!

[silence as Danny looks around and finds no one]

Sam: That's a yes!

[after the ghost pirates steal the ghost shield generator]

Youngblood: Fall back, me hearties. We got da...got da...What's the word?

Parrot: Booty.

Youngblood: Ha, you said booty! [laughs]

[the ghost pirates have kidnapped adults all over Amity personally]

Paulina: Hey, they got my parents!

Dash: Mine too!

Kwan: Cool! Party at Dash's house!

Paulina: Like, what is wrong with you?! [pushes Kwan over]

Danny: [using a megaphone] Listen up, people! If you want your parents back, you're gonna have to follow my lead.

Dash: Why should we follow you, Fen-toad?

Danny: [sarcastic] You're right, Dash. Let's follow the other kid who comes from a family of ghost hunters and knows how to work all their gear.

Dash: [looks away slightly, doesn't respond]

Danny: No takers? Alright then, [raises right arm and fist] who's with me?

[All other students cheer]

Danny: Paulina, you're good with makeup. I need you to disguise Tucker as an adult so he can get aboard the pirate ship and disable it from within.

Paulina: [salutes] Aye aye, Captain! But you still have no shot at me.

Star: [cheerleading, while fighting pirates] Ready? Okay! We hate pirates, yes we do! We hate pirates, how 'bout you?

Dash: [fighting ghost pirates back-to-back with Danny] You're one brave geek, Fenton. When I'm wailing on you tomorrow, I'll be wailing on a hero. But I will be wailing on you.

[after being freed from Ember's spell which made them exercise]

Jack: Why do I suddenly feel like I have buns of steel?

Maddie: At last!!! I mean, I love you just the way you are. [hugs Jack]

Jazz: Ew.

Parrot: [attempts and fails to get past the ghost shield] Let me out of here! Let me out!

Youngblood: Actually, it'd be more like, [piratey voice] "Ahoy, matey! I'm marooned on this island."

Parrot: [glares at him] Oh, shut your gob you twit!

Reign Storm [2.4] [2.5]

Sam: You realize you're playing with fire.

Danny: Well, sometimes I have to use my powers for the greater good. [points to Dash]

Dash: [opens his locker and gets half-covered in toilet paper] Whoa!

Tucker: [amused] And come on! How good was that?

Sam: Niiice...Using your powers to stuff toilet paper into a locker. He's gonna find out it's you.

Danny: Have you seen his grades?

Danny & Tucker: Never gonna happen!

Dash: [notices the toilet paper has Jack's face on it.] Hey! This is Fenton Wipe!

Sam: "Never" is Karma's doorbell. Ding-dong! It's for you.

[Danny and Valerie head into an alleyway, attempting to hide behind a dumpster, but see that Sam is already there.]

Sam: [Points to Danny]

Danny: Hiding from Dash.

Sam: [Points to Valerie]

Valerie: Hiding from Nathan. You?

Sam: [Points off-screen. The camera cuts to a shot of Sam's mother holding a large pink and white dress outside the alleyway.]

Mrs. Manson: Sammikins, at least try it on!

Sam: [about Valerie] So, what's up with this? Why are you helping her all of a sudden?

Danny: Oh, she hid me from Dash earlier today. I'm just returning the favor.

Sam: Well, be careful. The last thing you'd want to do is invite your archenemy into your own house.

[They open the door, Danny gasps as he sees Vlad there.]

Vlad: Ah, hel-LO, Daniel!

Sam: Too late.

Danny: [To Vlad, after he blasts a skeleton away] You're helping me? What do you want, my mom's cell number?

Vlad: No! But, ooh, if you wanted to give me her number....

Valerie: Hey, Danny.

Danny: Hey, Val.

Tucker: "Hey, Val"? Isn't that the same Val that's usually on a jet sled trying to paste Danny?

Sam: Yep. And apparently next week, we're having cookies with Skulker!

[A panicking man and his wife run into a box store.]

Man: We need boxes! And lots of them!

The Box Ghost: [floats down from the ceiling] Never!

Ember: [to the kids in the music store] Hey kids. Here's a new ditty I call....GET OUT OF MY NEW HOME!

[She sends an energy blast that breaks all the windows. The kids run out, screaming.]

Random Kid: She rocks!

[Various ghosts have attacked Danny and he's fallen to the ground in human form. Sam rushes to his side.]

Sam: Danny, are you okay? [Danny shoots her a dirty look] Sorry. Standard question.

Sam: [drinking tea] I'm getting worried. We haven't seen Danny or Valerie for hours.

Jack: Ah, they're fine. They've been up in Danny's room. Alone. For hours.

[Sam drops the teacup and it shatters.]

Skulker: Now, go, defeat him, so I will be free to hunt you another day.

Danny: [to Ember] Guy really knows how to motivate ya....

Danny: I don't understand....

Vlad: What? That I used two fourteen year old pawns to turn a knight and topple a king? It's chess, Daniel. Of course you don't understand. But then, you never really did.

Tucker: Dude, you can't blame yourself for this. It's not your fault.

Danny: Maybe not. But it is my responsibility.

Pariah Dark: You can't possibly win.

Danny: I don't have to win. I just have to make sure you lose!

Danny: [Referring to all the ghosts] How did they cram all of you inside the Specter Speeder?

Ember: Hey, you ever been inside your stupid thermos? Compared to that, it was the Taj Mahal in there!

Identity Crisis [2.6]

Technus: [has taken over the Fenton RV and an electronics store. attaches TV to the RV] Hmm, plasma screen, [attaches speakers] surround sound, [attaches unknown appliance with a receiver dish] I don't know what this thing does... [attracts more TVs and remotes] Ooo, these are on sale!

Technus 2.0: Behold, the new Technus 2.0! Now with pop-up blocker! [pulls Danny up towards him with a tractor beam.]

Danny: Sounds like the same old Technus to me. Whaddaya say you shout out your plan and we get this thing over with?

Technus 2.0: Technus 2.0 does not reveal his secrets! [crosses arms] Go on, try me.

Danny: Uh, boxers or briefs?

Technus 2.0: [gets in his face] None of your business! [smug look] See?

Super Danny: Say, you wear an awful lot of black for a superhero sidekick. Have you considered switching to bright primary colors!?

Sam: Tucker, wait up!

Super Danny: [about Technus] We have to stop him!

Fun Danny: Tried it! Didn't work. Back to bowling.

Tucker: It'll be fun?

Sam: You'll get to hit stuff?

Fun Danny: Sweet.

Fun Danny: [on a roller coaster] Oh, man, this is the life. I wish I could stay on this ride, like, forever.

[All of the rides in the fair suddenly stop and the sky darkens.]

Sam: And you may just get your wish.

Tucker: Why couldn't you wish for super models?

Super Danny: Did someone say, "super"?!

Sam: Ah, somebody kill me.

Danny: Curse this infernal messy room. This looks like a job for... the vacuum cleaner!

Super Danny: Have you lost your half of our mind?!

Fun Danny: Dude, I'm not the one wearing a bed sheet.

Super Danny: Relax, citizens. Danny Phantom is on the job! [teeth sparkle]

Tucker: Quick, hide! [shoves both Dannys into a closet]

Sam: No, just one of you.

Tucker: I call the fun Danny!

Sam: I call the -- darn it!

Sam: How did that last trip through the Ghost Catcher fix everything?

Tucker: [reading the Ghost Catcher's instructions] Side 2: Merge, Side 1: Separate . Duh.

Jazz: One Danny... Then I'm not nuts! [enthusiastically] I'm not nuts!

Maddie: Oh, isn't that sweet? [to Jack] That's exactly what you said when you proposed to me!

Jack: And you still said yes. Who's nuts now, huh?

The Fenton Menace [2.7]

Jazz: See? This toxic home environment is making him a nervous wreck!

Danny: [eyetwich]

Jazz: He needs a normal family outing! One that has nothing to do with ghosts!

Danny: Will you stop talking about me like I'm not here?!

[invisible Youngblood pokes Danny]

Danny: AND WILL YOU STOP POKING ME?!

Maddie: I don't know, Jazz, honey. Sure Danny seems a little high-strung but I'm sure it's nothing we can't work out here...

[Youngblood pokes Danny again]

Danny: Back off, punk! [snatches an ecto-gun and fires it all around the lab]

Jack & Maddie & Jazz: [find cover behind piles of boxes]

Maddie: [to Jazz] I'll get the sleeping bags.

Jack: And I'll get that ghost hunting equipment!

Maddie & Jazz: [shoot Jack disapproving glares]

Jack: And by ghost hunting equipment, I mean..Uhh...The other sleeping bags!

Danny: Are there any studies on the calming effect of big sisters minding their own business?!

Jazz: [grabs Danny's arm] And where do you think you're going?

Danny: Wherever I want. What are you, the hall monitor now?

Jazz: I'm your hall monitor, Danny. And there's no place you can go that I can't follow.

Danny: Really?

[Danny walks into the boy's room and shuts the door on Jazz's face]

Jazz: Except there.

Maddie: [holds up a tube of ointment] Good thing I brought plenty of Fenton Ointment.

Jack: Oh boy, Fointment!

Maddie: Who's up for a game of "I Spy"? I spy with my little eyes something beginning with... C!

Jack: Cola, chaffing, cattleprod...

Danny: Cowboy?

Jazz: Where do you see a cowboy?

Danny: Duh, he's riding right next to us!...At seventy miles an hour? Oh no not again.

Youngblood: [after failing to make the Fenton RV crash] Aw, man, I wanted to see the camper go ka-boom!

Skeleton horse: That didn't sound very cowboy.

Danny: You have now stooped to my level. Thank you for shopping Fenton Mart.

Jazz: [Firing up the Fenton RV] This is for Bearbert!

The Ultimate Enemy [2.8] [2.9]

[To Sam, before the rubbles of Fenton Works falls around them in the future]

Tucker: For the record, I blame you.

Future Box Ghost: Well, well, well. [Danny turns to see the Future Box Ghost] All this time we've planning on how we take the fight to you. And here you are, wrapped up like a present.

Danny: Box Ghost?

Future Box Ghost: Beware...[shoots Danny with a blast of blue energy into Future Ember]

Danny: [after bumping into Future Ember] Ember? You look...

Future Ember: Like I went to seed right after you destroyed my vocal cords WITH THAT GHOSTLY WAIL OF YOURS?!

Danny: I was gonna say 'statuesque,' but uh...[smiles innocently]

[Dark Danny has revealed his true form to Jazz]

Jazz: You're not Danny. That's why the Booo-Merang wasn't homing in on your ecto-signature. You're not Danny!

Dark Danny: I was, but I grew out of it. The Danny you know is floating helplessly in the Ghost Zone ten years in the future.

Jazz: He'll escape! He'll beat you!

Dark Danny: How? Is the answer: A. the Fenton Portal? Destroyed it. B. the only remaining portal? The one that my idiot cheesehead archenemy has? As soon as I find it, that's going too.

Jazz: Cheesehead? Vlad Masters? *He's* your archenemy?

Dark Danny: [continues] Is it: C. you? No. You can't stop me from cheating on the C.A.T. and solidifying my future, so it must be D... [blasts Jazz away with a plasma blast] None of the above.

[Jazz faints; Dark Danny transforms into Danny, takes the C.A.T. answers form, and reads the answers. A smile lights up his face]

Dark Danny: Well, what do you know? The answer to the first question is "D"! [evil laugh]

Danny: [after KOing future versions of his foes with a Ghostly Wail and detransforming] Whoa... [looks at them] My voice is changing... great, [transforms back] now I'm going through Evil Puberty. Everywhere I go my evil future is smacking me in the face!.. [hit on the back of the head with the Booo-Merang] OWW!

Jack: Where is he? Where's our son?

Maddie: What have you done to our boy?!

Dark Danny: [laughing] Ha, ha, ha! I am your boy!

Maddie: What?!?

Dark Danny: What kind of parents were you anyway? The world's leading ghost experts, and you couldn't even figure out that your own son was half-ghost!

Jack: [to Maddie] For the record, I blame you.

[Jazz tries punching Dan, but nothing happens.]

Dark Danny: Nice try, Jazz, but me, my future, I'm inevitable.

Danny: What are you gonna do? Waste me? What happens to you then?

Dark Danny: You don't get it, do ya? I'm still here. I still exist. That means you still turn into me!

Dark Danny: What makes you think you can change my past?

Danny: Because I promised my family!

Dark Danny: Aha ha, ha, ha! Oh, you are such a child! You promised?

Danny: Yes! I...PROMISED!!

[Danny uses his Ghostly Wail on Dark Danny.]

Dark Danny: Oh! That power! Oh, it's not possible! I don't get that power until ten years from now!

Danny: I guess...the future isn't as set in stone as you think it is. [roars again]

Danny: [looking at a giant purple football covering the entrance to the portal] Well, that's Vlad for ya. Subtle as a flying mallet.

Observant 1: He has the answers to the test.

Observant 2: He's clearly going to cheat.

Observant 1: He has your time medallion.

Observant 2: He has your time medallion.

Clockwork: You said that twice.

Clockwork: [while banging Danny up against the bell] I could do this all day, but I have a schedule to keep.

Dark Danny: [to Tucker and Sam] You know, if I had an ounce of humanity left in me, this would be a very touching little reunion, but of course I surrendered my human half a long time ago.

Future Vlad: [telling how Dark Danny came into existence] If it's any consolation, they went so quickly. They felt no pain. Unfortunately, the same could not be said for you, Daniel. With nowhere else to go, you came to me, the only person on the planet who could possibly hope to understand your situation. All you wanted was to make the hurt go away. I honored your wishes...no more painful human emotions to drag you down. Sadly, that freed you up to rip the ghost out of me. And when my evil ghost half mixed with yours, my evil side overwhelmed you.

Danny: What happened to my human self?

Future Vlad: Some things, my boy, are better left unsaid. If any good came out of this, it's that ten years without ghost powers made me see what a fool I'd been.

Danny: Maybe that's all anybody needs. A second chance.

Future Valerie: [After Dark Danny's attack] You're from the past, aren't you? I almost forgot how cute you were.

Danny: You thought I was cute? Wow, an older woman likes me.

Box Lunch: I am Box Lunch! Daughter of the Box Ghost and the Lunch Lady!

Danny: Um, ewww!

[Danny sits on the steps of Casper High; Jazz comes over to him]

Danny: So how long have you known?

Jazz: About the test? For days, but I'm really proud of you for not cheating.

Danny: Not that. [Danny holds up Jazz's tattered note and torn piece of her headband] Your headband, your note with your handwriting.

Jazz: What that? [chuckles nervously and blushes] I didn't write that. And there must be dozens of headbands.

Danny: [Looking unconvinced] Jazz...

Jazz: Since the Spectra thing. I didn't want to tell you until you wanted to tell me. It's your secret.

Danny: Well, it's our secret now.

[They hug]

Jazz: Don't think this means I'll stop being meddling and overprotective.

Danny: I wouldn't have it any other way.

The Fright Before Christmas [2.10]

Lance Thunder: [mumbling] Can't believe I quit acting to work in this place. [to newscaster] There's chaos here, Bill. [Ghostly Christmas trees surround him; panicking] Not the face! Not the face!

Danny: [to the ghosts] I'm trapped in this story. The guy's off his nut.

Skulker: He ought to know better.

Box Ghost: Let's go kick his butt!

[Danny shoves an orange into Walker's mouth, hoping to end the ghost fight]

Ghost Writer: [typing] Young Danny thought quickly and picked up an orange. He threw it at Walker who...

[stops typing and thinks]

Ghost Writer: [angry] Aw, crud! Nothing rhymes with orange!

Danny: And that's when I thought, maybe this is the moral--

In the same way my folks love their old Christmas quarrel,

Everyone celebrates in the way of their choosing.

I was so busy whining, I started abusing

The ones I loved most and I ruined their cheer.

I'll try to be better come Christmas next year.

Sam: Uh, nice sentiment, but what are you, a greeting card?

Tucker: Yeah. Why you talking in rhyhme?

Jazz: Such a dork.

Danny: [Excited] We're not talking in rhyme. We're not talking in rhyme!!

Secret Weapons [2.11]

[Jazz sees Skulker fly by and panics.]

Danny: Jazz, take it easy. There's a rhythm to these things. Ghosts attack, we exchange witty banter, I kick ghost butt, and we all go home having learned a valuable lesson about honesty, or some such nonsense.

Jazz: [jotting down on a memo pad] Attack, banter, kick butt, lesson, got it. [slight pause] So, why is he not attacking?

Danny: What?!

Danny: [Watches Skulker tear through the lab equipment in the basement] And here I thought you weren't hunting me.

Skulker: Where is the Ecto-Converter?

Danny: See, that's more like it. You make demands, I ignore them.

Jazz: You're toast!

Danny: Oh yeah? You and what toaster?

Jazz: How come you never told me Vlad Masters has ghost powers? And he has a thing for Mom?!

Danny: Because it's none of your business!

Sam: If you don't mind, we'll be over there, doing the "glad I'm an only child" dance.

Jazz: Wow, Danny, isn't this great? We just caught three ghosts tonight!

Danny: [angrily] Actually, we caught one ghost. Three times. ALL OF THEM ME!

[Jazz walks in the janitor closet holding Danny's laptop with his personal ghost files]

Danny: Where did you get this?!

Jazz: From your computer.

Danny: You hacked into my personal ghost files?! And how did you get the password?!

Sam, Tucker, and Jazz: [simultaneously] It's Paulina Fenton.

Sam: Seriously Danny, it's not that hard to figure it out.

Tucker: Do you want us to talk to Jazz?

Danny: I'm perfectly capable of talking to my own sister!

Sam: ...Which is why you're hiding from her. In a broom closet.

Danny: No, I'm not!!

Jazz: Danny, you in there?

Danny: HIDE ME!! [jumps into a trash can]

Jazz: Danny, calm down!

Danny: Calm down? How can I calm down with you constantly butting your nose in where it doesn't belong?

Jazz: [crying at Vlad's doorstep] Oh... Uncle Vlad... *sniff* I've run away from home. My father's an idiot, my brother hates me, and I wanna stay here with you. [sobs]

Vlad: Wait, what was that?

Jazz: I've run away from home?

Vlad: N-no, after that.

Jazz: My brother hates me?

Vlad: No, in the middle!

Jazz: My father's an idiot?

Vlad: That's the one! Come to Uncle Vlad! [happily escorts her inside]

Jack: [slyly, to Maddie] Danny's busy skulking, Jazz is safe in Wisconsin, we have the house to ourselves... I'll get the checkerboard!

Vlad: Have you forgotten with a press of a button, I can end your resistance once and for... (Danny takes the remote) Oh, cheese logs.

Vlad: [to Jazz] Oh, you think you know everything? Well, tell me, girl, did you expect this? [Vlad turns into ghost] Surprised?!

[Vlad laughs evilish, and then he went to the Ecto-Skeleton and finds a note saying "No. Not surprised."]

Ecto-Skeleton: Self-destruct system intitiated, activating in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...

Vlad: Oh, butter nuts!

Flirting With Disaster [2.12]

Technus: Are you mad child? Picking a fight with me and my upgraded form?

Danny: You upgraded to a mullet?

Sam: [Just realized what Technus was doing] He's pushing Danny and Valerie together.

Tucker: [laughs]

Sam: If you're done, we have to tell Danny.

Tucker: [Giggling and speaking] You wanna tell Danny that Technus is playing matchmaker? How do you think he's gonna react to that?

[Change scene to Danny laughing]

Sam: Are you done yet?

Danny: No. [Keeps laughing] Okay now I'm done. You're trying to tell me that Technus is playing matchmaker? Come on. Technus hates emotions.

Sam: And hello? He's using yours against you.

Tucker: Dim lights, stalled ferris wheel...You think the universe wants you two to be together?

[Valerie is shown hiding in the bushes]

Danny: Well, maybe, but...I don't know. I might.

[Sam and Valerie gasp]

Tucker: Uh...really? Because Tech...

Sam: Uh... technically because we just want you to be happy. If you like her we'll just have to make space for her at our table. [Sam's eye twitches]

Danny: Speaking of Valerie I was suppose to meet her before class. [Danny walks away and Valerie shows up]

Valerie: Did you mean that?

Sam: Um...uh...yeah, sure. If Danny likes you and you like Danny, the least we can do is give you a chance. [Valerie hugs Sam] Human contact...crushing Goth...indifference....

Danny: [Running away Technus] So you were pushing Valerie and I together.

Technus: You're welcome.

Technus: [About to destroy Danny] I wonder who will miss you more. The angry ghost hunter or the frustrated little goth girl who can't admit her feelings.

[Valerie proving that the one in the ghost hunting suit wasn't her]

Damon: That could've been you!

Valerie: No, because it never was me.

Damon: I'm sorry I didn't believe you. You did do a good job protecting your friend. I guess I can let it go this time.

Valerie: You're only saying that because the suit's destroyed.

Damon: Bingo.

Sam: [Sees Valerie following Danny into the sky] Uh...Danny. Danny. Come in, stay alert. You have company.

Danny: Company? What kind of company?

Sam: It's your girlfriend.

Danny: She's not my girlfriend until I give her the ring.

Tucker: What is this? 1955?

Danny: [Flies into space] I'm an astronaut!

Danny: [give Sam the ring] Hold this for me, would ya?

Sam: [Looks at it upside down] Who the heck is 'Wes'?

Micro Management [2.13]

Mrs. Tetslaff: Mr. Baxter, you're going to have to whip Mr. Fenton into shape.

Dash: Awesome! Is 'broken in half' considered a shape?

Dash: What kind of a mouse hole is this? Where's the matchbox sofa and the coffee table made out of a spool of thread?

Danny: You watch way too many cartoons.

Danny: [after Dash asks where they should hide on Jack's indoor mini-golf course] Have you seen him play golf? The only safe place is the hole!

[Danny and Dash hurry into the hole, as golf balls whiz past them.]

Dash: Man! Is everyone in this family bad at sports?

Dash: [upon seeing Danny's white boots turn into red tennis shoes] Hey, what happened to your feet?

Danny: They're.. high-speed ghost shoes..?

Dash: [after Danny's second costume change] Dude, what's with the pants?

Danny: It's casual Friday?

Dash: Today's Tuesday.

Dash: [after Danny's third costume change] How many costume changes are you gonna go through? What is this? Vegas?!

Dash: We did it! What do you think we just benched? Proportionally?

Danny: I don't know, dude. I'm not that good at math.

Skulker: And soon, you will not be that good at breathing either.

Skulker: [as Danny dumps potato chips on him] Lime and vinegar? Who eats those?!

Dash: [After Danny puts him back to normal size] Hey! Why don't we stick around and shove Fen-Turd's head into the toilet , you know just for giggles. [Danny shrinks him again] I don't DO puny!

Beauty Marked [2.14]

Tucker: What's wrong with beauty pageants?

Sam: Other than the fact that they turn girls into shallow doormats and boys into drooling idiots? Everything.

Tucker: But it's got a swimsuit competition!

Dora: Our princess must appeal to the masses, so she shall be chosen by a common boy. Someone average and bland. [as she passes Dash, Kwan, and Mikey, respectively:] Too popular... too athletic... too nerdy... [to Tucker] Too-

Tucker: Handsome? Smart? In-telligent?

Dora: Annoying.

Paulina: [to Danny] I baked some cookies for you.

Star: I did your math homework.

Danny: Now, ladies. You can't influence the judge with cookies and - [sees the papers Star is holding] Whoa! Is this homework done all the way through next semester?

Star: Mm-hmm.

Danny: This pleases me. [Dash grabs him and holds him in the air]

Dash: Hey, Fen-toid! It's only been two hours and I'm already tired of you hogging all the hotties! [Danny snaps his fingers, Paulina kicks Dash, making him drop Danny] Ow! Aah!

Crowd of angry girls: Get him! [Girls chase Dash away]

Paulina: [running and screaming. stops when she sees Danny Phantom] I'm still totally into you, but I can't let Danny Fenton know, okay? He's the judge. [screams and runs off]

Danny: [blasting a ghost archer again and again] Dude, you're seriously cutting into my very limited "Girls Are Flirting With Me" time!

Lancer: [singing] A happy princess is sweet and pure, with hair of gold and teeth of white. Her soft complexion is pure perfection with never a pimple in sight. [stops singing] [points at girl behind him] Except for her!

Sam: Hi, my name's Sam Manson and my happy princess talent is... goth haiku. Despair without end! [whispers] Dora's a ghost! Utter blackness, nothingness. [whispers] Dora's a ghost! [loudly] Dora is a ghost!

Danny: So that's your big statement? Dora's a ghost? I mean, what does that have to do with... wait, Dora is a ghost!

King Tuck [2.15]

Sam: [while trapped under a sarcophagus lid] Guys, I love a coffin as much as the next Goth, but the novelty's wearing thin.

Paulina: Ghost boy, do something, Ghost Boy!

Danny: [weakly] I can't...too powerful...

Sam: Ok, now we're doomed.

Dash: Doing manual labor for a geek we used to make fun of? This isn't supposed to happen until we're, like, 30.

Danny: [tries to blast the live sphinx but can't] Whoa! That thing's as hard-headed as Tucker was.

Masters Of All Time [2.16]

[80's Jack and Maddie hug their son Danny tightly]

Danny: [to Jazz] If I pass out, I give you permission to not resuscitate me.

[Jack and Maddie dressed in 80's clothes embarassing Danny and Jazz in Nasty Burger]

Jazz:[to Sam] If anyone asks, I'm related to you.

Sam: OK, but you're going to have to be a lot less cheery.

[Jack and Maddie see Vlad, Sam, and Tucker's ecto-acne]

Maddie: There's only one place that treats ecto-acne!

Danny: [hoping] Please say hospital, please say hospital...

[scene shifts to FentonWorks in quarantine]

Danny: [disappointed] Why didn't she just say hospital?

Maddie Masters: You despicable, lying piece of...cheese! I've wasted the best years of my life with you!

Vlad Masters: Now, Maddie, I may be a lying piece of cheese, but I'm still your husband.

Maddie Masters: [grabs Vlad and lifts him up] Then consider this an annulment! [throws him into the Ghost Zone. Ghosts begin to surround him]

Vlad: Oh, hello. Did I mention how much I love ghosts? [ghosts close in on him, and he screams] No!

Vlad: I knew you'd come through, Daniel. All it took was the proper motivation. Of course, I'm still weak beyond measure, so... bygones?

[Danny grins mischievously at him, next scene shows Vlad screaming as Danny knocks him into the air]

Danny: [casually] Bygones.

Maddie: [about Vlad] Everyone! He's waking up.

Vlad: Ah, Maddie. I knew you wouldn't let me down.

[Maddie walks away.]

Vlad: It's almost like you didn't have a choice.

[Danny glares at him, angrily.]

Jack: Lookin' good, Vladdy!

[The percentages on the computer drop dramatically.]

Jack: Oh, who am I kidding? You're a goner.

Danny I don't understand, that has to be Dad. [Jack Plasmius fires two shots at Danny] He aims like Dad.

Danny: [after noticing a newspaper clipping about Maddie's marriage to Vlad] I didn't destroy the past - I destroyed the present!

Reality Trip [2.17] [2.18]

Freakshow: What do you want?

Guy in White #1: Your knowledge of ghostly items. Anything you care to tell us about this? [presses button revealing metal arm and the three reality gems]

Freakshow: The Reality Gauntlet. Never heard of it.

Freakshow: [about the Reality Gauntlet] May I try it on?

Guy in White #1: I suppose so. It doesn't work anyway.

Freakshow: Joy!

Sam: Which reminds me, how did you convince my parents to let me spend an entire summer with your parents?

[Danny smiles and thinks back to scene with Sam's parents in their house; Danny overshadows Sam's mom]

Danny as Sam's mom: You know, I think the Fentons are wonderful. I think we should let Sam take a cross-country trip with them!

[Danny moves and overshadows Sam's dad]

Danny as Sam's Dad: And I agree with you. Let's never speak of this again.

[back to present]

Danny: Uh, let's just say I finally got under their skin.

Danny: [after transforming to normal on a concert stage and in front of the audience] Uh, nobody saw that, right?

Dash: [shocked] Holy sweatsocks! Danny Fen-turd is... Danny PHAN-TURD?!

Paulina: And he's totally infatuated with me! This makes things so much easier... for me!

Sam: Remind me again. Why do we hang out with a kid who has ghostly enemies?

Tucker: Because you have a crush on him? [Sam scowls.]

Guy in White #2: [to Danny] You're coming in for questioning.

Guy in White #1: And experiments. Lots, and lots of really painful experiments.

[After Danny and his friends are pulled into the locker room by Dash, Paulina and others.]

Danny: You're... helping me?

Dash: Well, duh! You've only been helping us for, like, ever!

Paulina: [kissing Danny on the cheek] "Paulina Fenton." Hee, I finally wrapped my mind around it!

Sam: Okay, I'm feeling relieved and nauseated at the same time.

[Danny, Sam, and Tucker have escaped disguised.]

Paulina: [to Sam, who is in her cheerleading outfit] I want that back by Monday, minus the Goth sweat.

Sam: We don't sweat; we simmer!

Sam's dad: [To Jack; after Danny's secret is revealed] YOU!

Jack: YOU! [Sam's dad & Jack face off and start glaring at each other.]

Sam's dad: We were watching "Extreme Nanny Makeover", when we found out YOUR son was a ghost!

Jack: Why are you yelling at us?! YOUR spooky-yooky bat daughter HAS to be behind this!

Tucker's dad: [steps in] Now fellas, it's okay to point fingers as long as nobody's pointing them at my son.

Maddie: [exasperatedly] Okay! Maybe Danny IS the ghost boy. But it's not as though our ghost activities have ever put YOUR families in any danger!

[The ground begins to quake; Lydia's ghost tattoos come into the Fenton Works' kitchen and surround everyone; they glare at Jack.]

Jack: [shrugs] Until now.

Jack: [recording] Fenton Works Anti-Creep mode activate. Our special today is Fudge-I mean pain.

[Danny turns the Fenton Rocket invisible]

Guy in White 1: We've lost visual contact. Activate White Fang tracking device.

Guy in White 2: White Fang?

Guy in White 1: I don't name this stuff.

[Danny, Sam, and Tucker arrive at Goth-apalooza, only to find the place overrun with ultra-cute decorations and teddy bears.]

Teddy Bears: WE LOVE YOU!!

Sam: Destroy them, Danny! Find the gem that did this AND TEAR THE STUFFING OUT OF EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM!!

Danny: Somehow, I don't think that'll be necessary... May I have the Gem of Form?

Teddy Bears: Say the magic word!

Sam: Die?

Danny: Please?

Sam: [after Goth-apalooza is restored] Ah, I love the smell of anti-establishment in the evening.

Auto Jack: Auto Jack activated. Please buckle up and pass the fudge.

[Everyone is in a Danny Phantom or Sam costume.]

Tucker: What, no Tuckers?!

Tucker: [about the geek girl who has turned into a supervillain] That may just be the hottest geek I've ever laid eyes on.

[geek turns into a wolf]

Sam: Yeah? How 'bout now?

Tucker: Yeah, still hot.

Freakshow: Ladies and gentlemen! Freaks of all ages! May I direct your attention to the center ring! Where Danny Phantom, aka, Danny Fenton will attempt to rescue his friends and family from a ghastly doom of my own construction!

[The families of Danny, Sam, and Tucker are locked up in train cages]

Sam's dad: [to Tucker's dad] This is Fenton's fault, pass it down.

Tucker's dad: [to Jack] This is Fenton's fault, pass it down.

Jack: [to Maddie] This is...[realizes who he's talking about] HEY! Wait a minute!

[Freakshow and Lydia have escaped the Guys in White.]

Freakshow: What should we do with our newfound freedom? Dinner? Movie? Make myself ringmaster of all reality? [laughs hysterically]

Freakshow: Any last words? May I suggest, "Ah! Freakshow! Don't hurt me!"

Danny: Show's over, freak!

Freakshow: Au contraire. That's French for "I'll bet this hurts!"

Double Cross My Heart [2.19]

Operative O: [to Mr. Lancer] The Purple back Gorilla research we traced goes back to an assignment YOU set back a while ago.

Mr. Lancer: And what makes you think I want to cooperate with the feds?

Operative K: Because ghosts pose a constant threat to your student body.

Operative O: And because we're with the government and have access to your tax records...

Mr. Lancer: What do you want to know and how fast do you want to know it?

Mr. Lancer: Ah... the perfect way to spend lunch; Shakespeare by the pool, and dry white toast!

[the pool explodes]

Mr. Lancer: Hunt for Red October!

Operative O: [coming out of a store in the mall] Why do they call it a White Sale when none of the cloths are white?

Danny: [spying on Sam as she and Gregor dine on spaghetti] Oh man! If they share that spaghetti strand, I'm gonna hurl.

Sam: [about Gregor] He's not my boyfriend. I dumped as soon as I found out you were right about him being a phoney. Apparently, that is the only way a guy could like me.

Tucker: That's not true.

Danny: That's totally not true! There's a million reasons why a guy could like you. I mean, you're smart, you're fun, you're cool, you're pretty--[stops abruptly after catching himself; Sam blushes] Why am I still talking? I am such a spazz. Still friends?

Sam: Pssh. The best.

Tucker: [To Danny] Seriously Danny, you need to let go. It was over between you and Valerie before it really began.

Danny: Yeah I know but it's not easy. I mean do you guys realize what it's like to like somebody you can't be with?

[Sam spits out soda.]

Tucker: Do you Sam? Huh? Do ya?

[Sam throws soda on Tucker's face.]

Danny: [After being hunted by Guys In White] Could this week get any worse? [Spots Sam and Gregor coming out of the mall]

Gregor: Wait, Sam. There's something I must tell you right here and now.

Sam: Okay, what?

Gregor: You have little tiny strand of spaghetti hanging from your lip. Right here. [He kisses Sam]

Danny: Okay. Now, it's officially worse.

Gregor: Danny, I wish to talk to you. If you're done talking to yourself.

Danny: Uh... ha, oh uh, he... Sure Gregor. What's up?

Gregor: I am not liked. You do not like me...

Danny: Gregor, that's not...

Gregor: Eh, let me finish. You do not like me because you want to protect your friend Sam. And I respect this.

Danny: It's not just that.

Gregor: You like her more than just friends?

Danny: Well...

Gregor: You hesitate. Which means you're unsure. I am not, and I'm going to ask her out.

Danny: Close... but you'll never catch me now!

Operative O: Guess again, kiddo!

[The Guys in White appear near him with guns blazing.]

Danny: What's the matter with you two?! I'm not doing anything! Why can't you just leave me alone?!

Operative K: A prepubescent specter operating freely? Unacceptable!

Danny: Hey! I have totally hit puberty! [reaches into his shirt and pulls out a white chest hair] See that? Totally a chest hair.

Kindred Spirits [2.20]

Danny: [after Vlad attacks him numerous times] Aren't you at least gonna make some stupid crack about my father? Or a lame come-on about my mom?

Vlad: No, dear boy. "Funny Joke Around Vlad" isn't here today! [attacks him again]

Danny: I've said it before and I'll say it again. You really are one seriously crazed-up fruitloop.

Vlad: A fruitloop would not have been able to make his first million with a series of invisible burglaries! A fruitloop would never have thought to overshadow enough millionaires to become one of the richest men on the planet! I AM NOT A FRUITLOOP! And I am not a villain. All I wanted...was love.

Danny: [After Vlad reveals his plan to clone Danny] Oh yeah, nothing loopy about that.

Lancer: Manson! Foley! Can you tell me why you're not still in the cafeteria?

Tucker: [referring to Danny] We have to help him!

Sam: [out loud to Lancer] Why are we not in the cafeteria? [pause] Umm...Because we're meeting Danny, and totally ditching school.

Tucker: And there's nothing you can do about it...old man.

Lancer: Old man?! [Tucker and Sam start running away] You two are in a world of trouble! [his hip cracks] Ow! My hip.

Jack: Sam! Tucker! Get out of that thing!

Sam: [shouting] What?! I couldn't hear you over the roar of the rockets! [leans back into the Specter Speeder; to Tucker] Could you activate the roar of the rockets please?!

Sam: [after throwing the Booo-merang] Tucker, follow that stupidly-named tracking device!

Maddie Hologram: [as Danny's Ghostly Wail wrecks Vlad's lab] Systems, damaged... Going, critical... Losing, coherence... And I never loved you. I loved the Jack program.

Jack Hologram: Vladdie! [puts an arm around the Maddie Hologram, and they kiss]

Dani: [after getting Danny, Sam, and Tucker out of trouble] And the good news is I didn't have to use any energy on your dad. And it's Dani, with an 'i'. And don't worry. You'll see me again. [Flies off]

Vlad: [To Dani] This is over! [Boooo-merang hits Vlad in the head and falls to the ground. Vlad picks it up] Oh, what stupidity is this?

Dani: [repeated lines] Do you wanna ask questions? Or do you wanna kick some butt?

Infinite Realms [3.2]

Danny: [determined look] Okay, Fenton...you've looked evil in the face, and defeated it time and again...you can do this! [unfolds a map and looks at it confusedly. traces his finger along the map] We turn left at Skulker's island and right at Walker's jail. Or, is it a left at Walker's jail and a right at Skulker's island...?

Sam: Um, are we ever going home, or are we still playing "Lost in the Ghost Zone"?

Danny: We're not lost! My expertly drawn map tells me exactly where we are. [points] We just hook a u-turn around this swirling vortex of infinite pain, and we're home. Oh, wait, that's a...thumbprint.

Danny: If we're gonna become a better ghost-fighting team, we need to know the enemy's territory inside and out so we, uh, don't, get lost.

Sam: What is it with you guys not asking for directions?

Tucker: Now I've missed my 4:05 feeding! [clutches at Sam, dramatically] If I don't make it...tell my PDA, I love her. [lays down against Sam] The cell phone meant nothing to me.

Danny: Good boy, nice boy! [flies out of the way just before Frostbite pounds the ground where he was standing.] Lay down! [fires a ghost ray that sends Frostbite flying into the base of a cliff.]

[Stalactites come crashing down, seemingly imprisoning Frostbite.]

Danny: [lands] Very good! Next, we'll work on fetching the paper.

Frostbite: Thank you! [picks up Danny and hugs him.]

Sam: Aww...a boy and his snow monster.

Tucker: Is there a greater love to be found anywhere?

Vlad: [channel surfing] Ah, let's see. Shopping with pyschopaths, [changes the channel, screen shows animated Michael Jackson surrounded by cops] embarrassing celebrity arrests...[changes it again. screen goes snowy before depicting the outside of FentonWorks] Ah, illegally spying on the Fenton family, my favorite!

Billy: Mom, are you sure there are no ghosts under my bed?

Billy's Mom: Of course not, Billy. Remember what President Rosevelt said: "We have nothing to be afraid of but fear itself."

Danny: [Phases through the bed] Actually, it was: "Nothing to FEAR but fear itself."

[Billy and Billy's Mom scream in fright. Danny, Sam and Tucker exit out of the portal before it closes on them.]

Sam: Great, we just scarred a child for life.

Danny: I just wanted to make sure she didn't mess up the one historical quote I actually remember!

Sam: [being tied to a stake] I'm not a witch! Are you people that paranoid?!...Oh, wait, Salem, 1600's, duh.

Sam: [on Tucker being forced to eat blood blossoms to help Danny] I'm curious to see how a body that's never eaten any roughage reacts when thirty pounds of it is suddenly introduced.

Tucker: Don't get your hopes up, Sam. We Foleys can handle anything. [unpleasant stomach noises] And we'll talk about it more right after I hit a restroom.

[Four lions are released and corner Danny, Tucker, and Sam.]

Tucker: Now I really have to go to the bathroom!

[Danny and Vlad's battling wrecked a Buddhist temple]

Warriors: [surround Vlad bearing spears]

Warrior: You have dishonored our priceless treasures! We shall never obey you!

Danny: [looks at a smashed vase] You see what happens when you play ball in the house?

Girls' Night Out [3.3]

Danny: [to Skulker, who is on the head of a giant lake monster] New pet, or is this the girlfriend I've been hearing so much about?

Jack: [pulls Skulker's true form out of the armor's head] Too small, better throw it back. [tosses Skulker to Danny, who sucks him up into the Fenton Thermos]

Torrent of Terror [3.4]

Vortex: Stop the rain?! The weather is my art! I will not just "stop it". Did anyone ask Picasso to stop painting the Mona Lisa?

Vlad: That was DaVinci you dolt!

Vortex: Whatever. Bottom line: the rain stays!

Tucker: Look on the bright side Danny; until we get back he's going to have to cater to your very whim and desire.

Sam: Yeah, he wouldn't want to make you angry.

(They smirk at Vlad who looks back slightly worried)

Danny: This pleases me.

Jack: [finishes welding the Emergency Op Center back onto the roof] Locked down tighter than a drum. This baby won't be going anywhere for a while. [thrown back as the Op Center detaches as the Fenton Blimp and flies off] Note to self: never tighten any drums.

Auto-Jack: This is Auto-Jack saying, "Chicks dig guys who fly!"

Forever Phantom [3.5]

Amorpho: How dare that fuzzy wuzzy steal my headline!

Amorpho: [disguised as Danny Fenton] Underling! You cannot defeat Amorpho!

Danny: Amorpho? I know clowns with scarier names!

Danny: I can't change back to Danny Fenton! Me and the other Danny were fighting and we ran into my dad's Ecto-Stoppo-Power-ofier, and I think it's taking away our ghost powers.

Tucker: Does your dad ever invent anything that doesn't mess you up?

Sam: Or without a dorky name?

Danny: I can't go home, I can't go to school, I can't even walk around in public without getting mobbed. What am I gonna do?

Tucker: [swipes the partially-eaten Jack Fenton Toast from Danny's hand and takes a bite] For starters, get some jam. This is awful dry.

Urban Jungle [3.6]

[Undergrowth's "mind vines" are taking control of the people]

Jack: I don't see what the big deal is. [a vine tries to get into Jack's head]

Jack: [to the vine] Nope, that's not it. [vine tries a different spot]

Jack: Nope, not there either. [vine roots into Jack's ear]

Jack: [just before he gets controlled] Ah! Now you've got it! [under vine's control] Mmm! Chlorophyll!

Queen Sam: Stay, Danny. Stay and rule with me.

Danny: [shivering] I always thought you ruled Sam. Just...not like this. I'll b-b-be back. [Sam looks touched by this.] And I'll save you. And everyone! [Sam suddenly goes under the plant's control again and attacks Danny who flees.] I PROMISE!

Sam: [looks at the ice crystal Danny gave her] What's this for?

Danny: I'm...glad you're okay.

Queen Sam: Join us Danny, the growth is family.

Danny: Already got one thanks, and I'm still working the bugs out of it.

Danny: As the duly deputized protector of Amity Park, it is my sincere hope that you’ve enjoyed your butt-kicking experience!

Jack: Get your filthy roots off my town, you horticultural horror! [To Maddie] Thanks for writing down the word "horticulture" sweetface.

Maddie: I didn't want you to mispronounce it during the battle cry, hon. First impressions are very important.

Jack: And you married me anyway.

Undergrowth: Perhaps one day you'll see that this is what nature intended all along. Mankind is merely a temporary weed in the garden of life, a weed which can be removed.

Frostbite: (after Danny freezes most of the audience) Great. We're not gonna sell any snacks now.

Livin' Large [3.6]

Tucker: Man, FentonWorks sure is low-fi.

Jack: Nonsense! Here! Take this "World's Best Mom" coffee mug and pound on top of the oscillascope whenever it goes all fuzzy.

[Oscillascope goes fuzzy]

Tucker: [looks at it sceptically before hitting it with the mug, causing it to go back to normal] Hey! I'm a real life scientist!

Jack: Well, if it isn't my heroes, the Guys in White!

Maddie: [annoyed] I'm surprised you rang the bell. Don't you usually knock down a wall or crash through the ceiling?

[Operatives O and K put away their guns]

Operative O: Sorry, habit.

Operative K: [clears throat and reads from card] The government is sorry about the past... misunderstandings.

Operative O: Like labeling you a crackpot, Fenton. That was... [reads from card] wrong of us.

Operative K: The government now admits that you Fentons are, uh, well, [reads from card] geniuses.

Jack: Well it's about doggone time!

Maddie: Oh, Jack, finally! Government approval of our work!

Operative K: About that work. The government has authorized us to buy it lock, stock, and barrel.

Jack: Ha! Don't be ridiculous. [gestures] I've poured my heart, soul, and life's blood into this laboratory, and you can't put a price on that! FentonWorks is not for sale!

Operative O: [unfolds and shows Jack a giant check]

Jack: Wow, that's a lotta zeroes! [produces a keyring] It's all yours!

Maddie: [angry] Jack, you can't sell our home! [handed the check; reads it] Wow, that's a lotta zeroes! We'll be out by noon tomorrow!

[Vlad has just found out that he and Jack are now neighbors.]

Jack: I see cozy backyard barbeques in our future!

Vlad: Yes, of course, that sounds fun. [quietly] Akin to sticking hot needles in my-

Maddie: [cutting him off] Jack! [comes out of the house] You won't believe it! I got lost - in my walk-in closet! I finally got a ride out on my automated shoe rack. Oh, hello Vlad! [scoff] We're neighbors?

Vlad: [happy now] Indeed, I forgot for a moment that you would be moving in with Jack. I'll pop by later and drop off a "Welcome to the Block" bundt cake.

Jack & Maddie: [excited] Ooooo!

Boxed Up Fury [3.8]

Box Ghost: [reading the rewards on wanted posters for Wulf, Vortex, and Undergrowth] One million for an overgrown dog?! Two million for an overgrown cloud?! Three million for an overgrown FICUS?! Chump change, for those ghosts pale in comparison to me, the Box Ghost! Imagine the value of a ghost that terrorizes with corrogated cardboard and the occasional roll of bubble wrap! [as his head flies up and spins] It must make their heads SPIN! [unfolds a crumpled wanted poster of himself that was thrown at him, the reward only $2.50] Not wanted?! [tears up the poster] This is an outrage! Do I not inspire fear and loathing?! [brain pops out]

Random Ghosts: [laugh at him]

Box Ghost: Behold! The Lunchbox of Fear! [opens it, a spooky thermos comes out]

Danny: [catches it] Hey, bringing your own thermos to our battles, now? You know, you could save us time by showing up already inside it.

Box Ghost: And now... taste your multi-grain DOOM!

[Lunchbox of Fear shoots out hundreds of sandwiches that rain down on everyone]

Lady: Look! That caterer brought free lunch for everyone!

Crowd: [cheers and picks the sandwiches up]

Box Ghost: No! I am no caterer! My sandwiches are very high in calories! They will totally clog your arteries!

Sam: [scoffs] In like, forty years!

Box Ghost: Yeah? So? It is a SLOW death!

[Danny and Tucker start eating their sandwiches.]

Box Ghost: [confused] Wait, what are you doing?

Danny: Tasting our doom. And, I gotta tell ya, it's a little dry.

Tucker: You wouldn't happen to have any "Spicy Mustard of Doom", would ya?

Lady: [as shoes rain down] Hey everyone! The catering shoe salesman is giving out free samples!

Box Ghost: I am NOT a catering shoe salesman! You are supposed to tremble as my menacing footwear pinches your feet like nobody's business!

Lady 2: [unimpressed, holds up a purple shoe] Do you have these in an "8"?

[The Box Ghost releases snakes from Pandora's Box]

Tucker: [screams] Snakes?! Why did it have to be snakes?!

Sam: Danny, this is serious. Do something!

Danny: Okay! I'm going- [starts to tense up but pauses.] oh, you know. [runs behind a tree and transforms]

Danny: [reading about Pandora's Box] Plagues, pestilence, boy bands, oh this is one evil box.

Tucker: [firing a bazooka at snakes]

Sam: Forget the snakes, Tucker, aim for the dragon!

Tucker: You battle your phobia, I'll battle mine.

Sam: If we were battling my phobia, that dragon would be a giant, fire-breathing cheerleader.

Ghost Policeman: [scribbling on a notepad] Can you tell me which way the Box Ghost fled?

Argus: [has eyes all over his body. shrugs] Oh, I don't know. I didn't really get a good look.

Jazz: Taste my fire, dragonbreath! [soots Fenton Bazooka]

Maddie: Ten heads? Meet NINE TAILS! [pulls out Jack-o-Nine Tails]

Jack: I DON'T HAVE A CLEVER QUIP! [shoots ectogun]

Frightmare [3.9]

Danny: So what's the big deal about people's dreams?

Nocturne: Asked the Ghost Boy who dreams of the Goth girl.

Danny: Oh, man, that, was, private...

Danny: [to Nocturne] That's all you do? Put people to sleep? You sure you're not a teacher?

[Tucker is dreaming that he's living the rich life and sitting between two Stars]

Dream Tucker: That will be all, Fenton.

Dream Danny: [pushing a vacuum] Yes sir.

Danny: Wait, I'm the janitor?!

Dream Tucker: Now for some ambiance. [presses remote button, speakers rise up and a spotlight appears over him and the Star twins.]

Danny: Hate to cramp your style, dude... Uh, actually, no I don't.

Dream Tucker: [kisses left Star] I can't neglect you, my pet. [turns to the right and puckers up, eyes closed]

Danny: [sitting in the second Star's place] Seriously, I'm your janitor?!

Tucker: [wakes up screaming, breaking the helmet]

[Danny is in Sam's dream]

Dream Sam: [to Dream Danny] Can you make room for your girlfriend?

Danny: Girlfriend? Her dream is just like mine. [happy and nervous] Uh, her dream is just like mine!

[Dream Danny & Dream Sam prepare to kiss. The real Danny stumbles backwards into a table in surprise, causing it to fall over. Dream Danny and Dream Sam stop and notice.]

Dream Sam: [to Dream Danny] Wait! You can't be in two places at once!

[Thinking quickly, Danny overshadows Dash.]

Dash: Actually, Sam, I'm Danny Phantom! Going ghost! [morphs into a Dash-ified Danny Phantom]

Sam: [wakes up screaming, breaking the helmet]

Claw of the Wild [3.10]

Sign: [reads "Camp Skull and Crossbones on beautiful Lake Eerie]

Tucker: Creepy with two "e"s all right. In fact, this may qualify for three.

Sam: C'mon, you guys! There's nothing scary about this place!

Mr. Lancer: Hello pioneers! [walks out of the mess hall with Miss Tetslaff]

[Star, Mikey, Lester, Dash, Paulina, and Kwan gasp dramatically]

Danny: Mr. Lancer? Miss Tetslaff? What are you doing here?

Students: [quietly, hopeful] Please say "just passing through," please say "just passing through"...

Mr. Lancer: Children, relax! For the next eight weeks, we're not your teachers!

[The students sigh in relief.]

Miss Tetslaff: Better! We're your counselors!

Mikey: Before I burst into tears at the thought of my lost summer, can you tell us where the bathrooms are?

Miss Tetslaff: There aren't any.

[Mikey, Lester, Danny, Sam, Tucker, and another girl gasp dramatically.]

Mr. Lancer: Call of the Wild!

Miss Tetslaff: Suck it up, Lancer! You're in the wilderness! [holds up a roll of toilet paper] All the world's your bathroom!

Kwan: I heard this camp is haunted.

Dash: Me too. They say there's a monster in the woods at Lake Eerie.

Paulina: And two in the lake!

Students: [nervous babbling]

Danny: [sarcastic] Just what we need, amateur ghost stories.

Miss Tetslaff: [blows whistle] Pipe down, campers. This camp is definitely not haunted!

Mikey: [screams] There's a ghost monster in the woods, AND IT TOOK LESTER!!

Danny: At least the monster is gone.

Dash: [screams and runs into the mess hall] The monster ate Kwan!

Tucker: At least the monster got to eat.

Danny: Dash, that's impossible! He...probably just...wandered off to use the bathroom.

Dash: Nah-uh! You don't know Kwan's amazing bladder. He can hold it for-

Sam: [as she gets up and walks way] Uh, please don't finish that sentence until I'm safely out of the building.

Tucker: Please don't finish that sentence at all, Dude.

Danny: Don't worry, Sam. We'll find everyone.

Sam: I know, but...Tucker...out there with a monster. Or worse, out there with a monster and Dash and Kwan!

Danny: Come on! You know I'd never let anything happen to either of you. I couldn't imagine my life without you. [Sam blinks at this] Or Tucker.

Sam: [smiles and blushes]

[A shadow darts from one tree to another, causing them to gasp]

Danny: Stay here. [stands up] Wake up Wulf.

Sam: Be careful, I couldn't imagine my life without you either. [Danny raises his eyebrows, and she blushes again] Or Tucker.

Ghost Cop: Out past curfew, Ghost Boy? Isn't that against the rules?

Danny: Walker's goons, [produces a pair of energy balls] I was wondering when you'd show up.

Ghost Cop 2: Relax, kid. We aren't here to do any harm.

Ghost Cop: [blasts Danny, knocking him to the ground]

Ghost Cop 2: Well, maybe just a little.

Sam: I'm impressed.

Danny: [flexes his muscles] With my strength?

Sam: That you knew what "reversed polarity" was.

D-Stabilized [3.11]

Danielle: I gotta get to Danny, fast. [takes off, but flying much slower than normal.] Or slow, slow's good... [slows down even more, looking worn out; in a sarcastic tone] Or slower, even slower's better...

[Vlad has just asked Valerie to hunt "Dani Phantom", but she misheard him.]

Valerie: Danny Phantom? That guy's been an intangible pain in my butt for a long time.

Vlad: Oh no, sorry my dear. Not Danny Phantom, [turns around a computer monitor depicting Danielle] Dani Phantom, with an "i". A girl ghost.

Valerie: [unimpressed] You're kidding, there's a girl called Danny Phantom? Huh, these ghosts gotta come up with more original names.

Vlad: It will be so nice to get my little girl back. [evil laughter]

[His cat Maddie hisses at Vlad while giving him a nasty look.]

Vlad: Oh relax, Maddie, you're still my favorite. [rubs her under her chin to soothe her]

[Valerie has chased Danielle into a condemned building]

Valerie: Listen, kid, I know you're in here. [switches on helmet light.] And I know something evil is hunting you.

Danielle: [hiding behind a table; quietly] Yeah, no kidding!

[Dani has just saved Valerie by phasing them through falling debris and flying outside, but was seen transforming]

Valerie: [backs away] You're...you're a girl AND a ghost?

Dani: And you're welcome.

Danny: [after helping his parents recapture a ghost in the lab] Uh, any objections to me getting far, far away from here?

Maddie: Good idea, Danny! Best you avoid any unnecessary contamination.

Danny: Or embarrassment. Thanks! [leaves]

Danny: [using a Fenton Phone] I've got this one, guys.

Tucker: [to Sam] Did we just get blown off?

Sam: Pretty massively.

Tucker: Wanna pig out at Nasty Burger and put it on Danny's tab?

Sam: Absolutely.

Valerie: I don't hate you, Danny. It's because of you that I'm the most powerful ghost hunter in Amity Park.

Danny: [annoyed] Hey! What about the Fentons?

Valerie: [amused] Are you kidding? They couldn't catch a ghost if it was living under their own roof.

Danny: True.

Danny: Valerie, you don't wanna do this.

Valerie: [brandishing a taser] No, you don't want me to do this.

Danny: Well, yeah.

Valerie: You don't think it's a little dangerous flying into the lab of a family of ghost hunters?

[The camera pans to show Jack pressed tightly against the top of a full, glass containment chamber by ghost mass]

Danny: Something tells me we'll...be okay.

[Danny presses the Fenton Flush lever, causing the contained ghosts to be flushed into the Ghost Zone. He flies away while invisible. Jack falls to the bottom, looks around, and grins.]

Jack: He-he-hey! Am I good or what? [cheesy grin]

Vlad: I'll go welcome our guests. [flies past the Maddie hologram, then turns back to face her.] And I'm sorry dear, but I can't have them see you either. [pushes button]

Maddie Hologram: See you tonight for tea and cookies! [disappears]

Vlad: Until then, there's work to be done. [Flies off]

Valerie: Vlad Masters is Vlad Plasmius?! Phantom was right all along...And all this time I've been doing all his dirty work! Well, not anymore. [sly voice] Better watch out, Vlad, 'cause one of the ghosts I'm huntin' now, is you!

Phantom Planet [3.12][3.13]

Danny: It's good to be back where things are normal.

Jack: [recklessly driving the Fenton RV down the street] Attention Amity Park! The Fentons are on patrol! Rest assured the streets are safe! [front tire runs over a rock, causing the RV to skid] AOH! [RV collides with a fire hydrant, which flies off causing a geyser] Uh, city water supply A-OK!

Tucker: Yep, normal.

Technus: [just blew up the front of an electronics store. laughs evilly and holds up a shopping bag] Nothing like a lazy day of shopping, [holds up a coffee cup] lattes, and terrorizing minimum wage workers. [to a frightened cashier.] Boo.

Cashier: [runs away screaming]

Danny: [the last time in the series that he uses his battle cry and then succesfully transforms] I'm goin' ghost! [runs into alley and transforms]

Technus: [picks up three DVDs. to store worker] Well look on the bright side: at least I'm not downloading them illegally.

Danny: [appears and punches Technus away] Next register, Cyber-Jerk!

[Technus has just fused various computer parts with a car and turned it into a mecha]

Technus: Behold, Ghost Twerp! The perfect combination of technology past and present: the Car-puter! It will drive you, to your DOOM! HAHA!

Danny: [knocked into a building by the Car-puter's expandable engine] Great, my first car accident and I'm not even driving yet.

Tucker: Did he just do what I think he just did?

Jazz: You mean step back into the Fenton Portal, remove his ghost powers, and revert his DNA profile back to that of a normal human?

Tucker: I was gonna say, "Go Un-Ghost", but that works too.

Danny: [on deliberately losing his powers] Why is everyone but me bummed about this? Danny Phantom's not needed anymore! From now on, Danny Fenton is just a nice, normal kid from a nice, normal family. Now, let's go get Mom and Dad outta jail.

Vlad: [has just realized he can't touch the asteroid and can't go home] Jack, you have to help me. You wouldn't turn your back on an old friend, would you?

Jack: An old friend? No. You? Yes! [fires the rocket's jets, leaving Vlad behind]

Danny: [steps into the new-broken Fenton Portal after pressing a button that causes a small spark--is trying to recover his powers] Goin' ghost! (the portal echoes the "ghost" part of his battle cry) [nothing happens; dejectedly jumps out of portal and sadly walks off]

[After the Specter Speeder passes through a ghost portal in front of a mouth on a Nasty Burger billboard.]

Tucker: Now I know how my chili fries feel!

Jazz: [looking at the inside of the Ghost Zone in amazement] Uh, I don't believe-!

Danny: [annoyed] Believe it, Jazz. Welcome, to the Ghost Zone. Sort of a "Ghosts R' Us".

Tucker: But the shelves are empty, where the heck is everybody?

Danny: [to Skulker and random ghosts] Well gang, there's good news and bad news. The good news? My powers are back. Bad news? My powers are BACK! [uses the Ghost Wail on them]

Tucker: [as the gang's leaving the Ghost Zone] If we went in through the billboard's mouth, I don't wanna know where we're comin' out!

Danny: By the way, where do Mom and Dad think Danny Fenton is right now, anyway?

Jazz: With them. I redressed the Tuckbot 9000 to make it look and act like you. They'll never know the difference.

[Scene changes to Jack and Maddie driving separate helicopters.]

Jack: Nothing like saving the world with your old man, eh Danny?

Tuckbot 9000: [still sounding like a robotic Tucker] Comment does not compute.

Jack: Your voice is changing already? [sadly] Man, they grow up so fast!

Sam: [gives the "Wes" ring to a confused Danny] It's...the ring you were going to give Valerie, you asked me to hold it, remember? [turns it right-side up so it reads "Sam"] Something tells me it was really meant for me. Take it with you, but promise to bring it back. [covers Danny's hands with hers] If you promise, then...then I know I'll see you again.

Danny: If we make it through this-

Sam: When we make it through this.

Danny: Right. When we make it through this, uh, I have a few things I need to talk to you about.

Sam: I think I'd be willing to listen. And no matter how this thing ends, this whole ride we've been on together, I wouldn't change it for the world. [takes his hands in hers again] Not. One. Bit.

Danny: [grips her arms] Me neither. I-

[Sam kisses him on the cheek. Danny puts a hand under her chin and they share a long, heartfelt kiss. They smile at each other when it ends.]

Danny: Wow. Remind me to save the world more often.

Vlad: Actually being a free roaming space nomad isn't that bad. At least it's quiet and I... [suddenly gets hit by the disasteroid]

[Final lines of the series. Danny and Sam are flying romantically over Amity Park and the statue dedicated to Danny.]

Sam: Cool statue. Personally, I would've used recycled materials, but, you know, that's just me.

[She and Danny smile at each other as they fly into the full moon, ending the series.]

Cast

David Kaufman - Daniel "Danny" Fenton/Danny Phantom
Grey DeLisle - Samantha "Sam" Manson
Rickey D'Shon Collins - Tucker Foley
Maria Canals - Paulina
S. Scott Bullock - Dash Baxter
Rob Paulsen - Jack Fenton
Kath Soucie - Maddie Fenton
Ron Perlman - Mr. Lancer
Martin Mull - Vlad Masters/ Vlad Plasmius