Work spouse
Encyclopedia
A work spouse is a co-worker, usually of the opposite sex, with whom one shares a special relationship, having bonds similar to those of a marriage
; such as, confidences, loyalties, shared experiences, and a degree of honesty or openness. The work spouse is a potentially key relationship when one's actual spouse or boy/girlfriend is not able to be there.
A CNN Money article characterizes the relationship as having the "immediate intimacy [of marriage] without the sex or commitment."
One source characterizes the relationships as "platonic, close, opposite-sex couplings, with no romantic strings attached." The phrase is, however, sometimes used for same-sex relationships.
"Work marriage" appears to be a genuinely caring relationship fostered by the propinquity
effect and associated with love-like feelings and possibly limerence
. Some "work spouses" admit that sexual attraction between them is present, but is not acted upon, and the sexuality is "channeled" into a productive collaboration.
This new social relationship is unique to the social milieu of the late 20th and early 21st century; and as a result the sociological and psychological implications this new social relationship poses to Western Society's traditional notions of love, marriage and friendship have not yet been fully explored.
's 1930 novel The Office Wife and its 1930 movie adaptation
. But the concept, if not the exact phrase, is much older: a 1933 New York Times article says:
"Office wife" carried the connotation of subordinance or subservience. As feminism began to take hold in the 1980s, it became common to hear that "Many secretaries resent the 'office wife' syndrome," referring to being asked to do such things as paying personal bills for a boss, picking up everything from dry cleaning, or dusting the office. "I'm getting paid as a secretary," said one secretary. "I'm not a personal servant."
An executive coach and workplace adviser noted that as of 2005, "The workplace spouse is a relatively new concept ... Many people don't know what to make of it yet. It is only within the last 25 years that men and women have become peers in the workplace ... This new camaraderie, coupled with long hours spent at work, has caused a fundamental shift in the way people conduct business and interact with one another."
Marriage
Marriage is a social union or legal contract between people that creates kinship. It is an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged in a variety of ways, depending on the culture or subculture in which it is found...
; such as, confidences, loyalties, shared experiences, and a degree of honesty or openness. The work spouse is a potentially key relationship when one's actual spouse or boy/girlfriend is not able to be there.
Social documentation
In one 2006 survey, 69% of workers said they had an "office husband" or "office wife."A CNN Money article characterizes the relationship as having the "immediate intimacy [of marriage] without the sex or commitment."
One source characterizes the relationships as "platonic, close, opposite-sex couplings, with no romantic strings attached." The phrase is, however, sometimes used for same-sex relationships.
Sociological and psychological implications
With so many of the quality hours of a day spent at work, having someone there who has an intuitive understanding of the pressures, personalities, interactions, and underlying narratives of the workplace society can add safety and comfort to what can otherwise be an alienating environment."Work marriage" appears to be a genuinely caring relationship fostered by the propinquity
Propinquity
In social psychology, propinquity is one of the main factors leading to interpersonal attraction. It refers to the physical or psychological proximity between people. Propinquity can mean physical proximity, a kinship between people, or a similarity in nature between things...
effect and associated with love-like feelings and possibly limerence
Limerence
Limerence is a term coined c. 1977 by the psychologist Dorothy Tennov to describe an involuntary state of mind which seems to result from a romantic attraction to another person combined with an overwhelming, obsessive need to have one's feelings reciprocated...
. Some "work spouses" admit that sexual attraction between them is present, but is not acted upon, and the sexuality is "channeled" into a productive collaboration.
This new social relationship is unique to the social milieu of the late 20th and early 21st century; and as a result the sociological and psychological implications this new social relationship poses to Western Society's traditional notions of love, marriage and friendship have not yet been fully explored.
Historical uses
The phrase "office wife" was common during the 1930s, popularized by Faith BaldwinFaith Baldwin
Faith Baldwin was a very successful U.S. author of romance and fiction, publishing some 100 novels, often concentrating on women juggling career and family...
's 1930 novel The Office Wife and its 1930 movie adaptation
The Office Wife
The Office Wife is a 1930 American Pre-Code romantic drama film directed by Lloyd Bacon, released by Warner Bros., and based on the novel of the same name by Faith Baldwin. It was the talkie debut for Joan Blondell who would become one of the major Warner Bros...
. But the concept, if not the exact phrase, is much older: a 1933 New York Times article says:
"Office wife" carried the connotation of subordinance or subservience. As feminism began to take hold in the 1980s, it became common to hear that "Many secretaries resent the 'office wife' syndrome," referring to being asked to do such things as paying personal bills for a boss, picking up everything from dry cleaning, or dusting the office. "I'm getting paid as a secretary," said one secretary. "I'm not a personal servant."
Modern usage
According to Timothy Noah, writing in Slate, "The terms 'work wife,' 'work husband,' and 'work marriage' entered the national lexicon in 1987, when the writer David Owen wrote an Atlantic essay describing a particular Platonic intimacy that frequently arises between male and female employees working in close proximity."An executive coach and workplace adviser noted that as of 2005, "The workplace spouse is a relatively new concept ... Many people don't know what to make of it yet. It is only within the last 25 years that men and women have become peers in the workplace ... This new camaraderie, coupled with long hours spent at work, has caused a fundamental shift in the way people conduct business and interact with one another."