The Art of Loving
Encyclopedia
The Art of Loving is a book written by psychologist and social philosopher Erich Fromm
(1900–80), which was published as part of the "World Perspectives Series" edited by Ruth Nanda Anshen
. In this work, Fromm recapitulated and complemented the theoretical principles of human nature
found in Fromm's Escape from Freedom and Man for Himself – principles which were revisited in many of his other major works.
Fromm presents love as a skill that can be taught and developed. He rejects the idea of loving as something magical and mysterious that cannot be analyzed and explained, and is therefore skeptical about popular ideas such as "falling in love
" or being helpless in the face of love. Because modern humans are alienated from each other and from nature, we seek refuge from our aloneness in romantic love and marriage (pp. 79–81). However, Fromm observes that real love "is not a sentiment which can be easily indulged in by anyone." It is only through developing one's total personality to the capacity of loving one's neighbor with "true humility, courage, faith and discipline" that one attains the capacity to experience real love. This should be considered a rare achievement (p. vii).
Readers will be disappointed if they expect the kind of easy answers and techniques often presented in self-help psychology bestsellers. Perhaps the closest that the book comes to such a recipe is the idea that the active character of true love involves four basic elements: care, responsibility, respect, and knowledge (p. 24). Each of these is difficult to define and can differ markedly depending on the people involved and their circumstances. Seen in these terms, love is hard work, but it is also the most rewarding kind of work.
One of the most interesting concepts in the book is self-love
. According to Fromm, loving oneself is quite different from being arrogant, conceited or egocentric. Loving oneself means caring about oneself, taking responsibility for oneself, respecting oneself, and knowing oneself (e.g. being realistic and honest about one's strengths and weaknesses). In order to be able to truly love another person, one needs first to love oneself in this way.
Fromm is skeptical of exclusive love, which he calls – a relationship in which each person is entirely focused on the other, to the detriment of other people around them. In a healthy marriage, faithfulness applies to sex, but not to Fromm's concept of love, because love means a generally caring, responsible, respectful and honest attitude toward all other people.
The book includes explorations of the theories of brotherly love
, motherly and fatherly love, erotic love, self-love, and the love of God (pp. 7–76), and an insightful examination into love's disintegration in contemporary Western culture (pp. 77–98).
Erich Fromm
Erich Seligmann Fromm was a Jewish German-American social psychologist, psychoanalyst, sociologist, humanistic philosopher, and democratic socialist. He was associated with what became known as the Frankfurt School of critical theory.-Life:Erich Fromm was born on March 23, 1900, at Frankfurt am...
(1900–80), which was published as part of the "World Perspectives Series" edited by Ruth Nanda Anshen
Ruth Nanda Anshen
Ruth Nanda Anshen was an American philosopher, author and editor.She was the author of several books including The Anatomy of Evil, Biography of An Idea, Morals Equals Manners and The Mystery of Consciousness: A Prescription for Human Survival.Anshen was the editor of several series of books,...
. In this work, Fromm recapitulated and complemented the theoretical principles of human nature
Human nature
Human nature refers to the distinguishing characteristics, including ways of thinking, feeling and acting, that humans tend to have naturally....
found in Fromm's Escape from Freedom and Man for Himself – principles which were revisited in many of his other major works.
Fromm presents love as a skill that can be taught and developed. He rejects the idea of loving as something magical and mysterious that cannot be analyzed and explained, and is therefore skeptical about popular ideas such as "falling in love
Falling in love
In romantic relationships, "falling in love" is mainly a Western term used to describe the process of moving from a feeling of neutrality towards a person to one of love...
" or being helpless in the face of love. Because modern humans are alienated from each other and from nature, we seek refuge from our aloneness in romantic love and marriage (pp. 79–81). However, Fromm observes that real love "is not a sentiment which can be easily indulged in by anyone." It is only through developing one's total personality to the capacity of loving one's neighbor with "true humility, courage, faith and discipline" that one attains the capacity to experience real love. This should be considered a rare achievement (p. vii).
Readers will be disappointed if they expect the kind of easy answers and techniques often presented in self-help psychology bestsellers. Perhaps the closest that the book comes to such a recipe is the idea that the active character of true love involves four basic elements: care, responsibility, respect, and knowledge (p. 24). Each of these is difficult to define and can differ markedly depending on the people involved and their circumstances. Seen in these terms, love is hard work, but it is also the most rewarding kind of work.
One of the most interesting concepts in the book is self-love
Self-love
Self-love is the strong sense of respect for and confidence in oneself. It is different from narcissism in that as one practices acceptance and detachment, the awareness of the individual shifts and the individual starts to see him or herself as an extension of all there is...
. According to Fromm, loving oneself is quite different from being arrogant, conceited or egocentric. Loving oneself means caring about oneself, taking responsibility for oneself, respecting oneself, and knowing oneself (e.g. being realistic and honest about one's strengths and weaknesses). In order to be able to truly love another person, one needs first to love oneself in this way.
Fromm is skeptical of exclusive love, which he calls – a relationship in which each person is entirely focused on the other, to the detriment of other people around them. In a healthy marriage, faithfulness applies to sex, but not to Fromm's concept of love, because love means a generally caring, responsible, respectful and honest attitude toward all other people.
The book includes explorations of the theories of brotherly love
Brotherly love
Brotherly love may refer to:* Philia, a Greek word for love* Brotherly love * The New Commandment of Jesus, - Television :* Brotherly Love , an American television series...
, motherly and fatherly love, erotic love, self-love, and the love of God (pp. 7–76), and an insightful examination into love's disintegration in contemporary Western culture (pp. 77–98).