Sexual jealousy in humans
Encyclopedia
Sexual jealousy can be defined as a response triggered when a significant other displays sexual interest in another person (Buunk and Hupka 1987). Perceptions of sexual jealousy
differ across cultures. For example, in one culture, an “involved” woman flirting with, dancing with or kissing another man may be considered infidelity
, whereas in another culture such behavior would be considered innocent fun (Buunk and Hupka 1987).
Emotion theorists have attempted to explain the jealous response with a social-cognitive model
that distinguishes between primary and secondary appraisals
of potentially threatening situations. A primary appraisal is whether a person judges an interaction as positive, negative, or of no consequence to him or herself. Secondary appraisals come later if the primary appraisal is negative and the person is trying to gauge the severity of the interaction in regards to if and how it will affect their current relationship and subsequently how they will deal with it (Harris 2004). Primary appraisals can be manifested from simple actions between a significant other and someone who is seen as a threat. These appraisals will produce a reaction in humans and non-humans alike to prevent the occurrence of positive interactions between a mate and other rival partners (Harris 2004).
Evidence from the other great Apes suggests that jealousy is a mate protection strategy designed to maintain low levels of female promiscuity
. A single Silverback Gorilla can protect up to eight females as his own, and is thus able to gain a reproductive monopoly. As a result, gorillas do not have a great deal of sperm competition
, and therefore have very small testes relative to stature. Humans on the other hand, have slightly larger testes relative to stature, but still have small testes compared to other apes. This suggests that humans have somewhat more sperm competition, and therefore have more reason to be suspicious of a mate’s interest in another. Jealousy likely evolved as a byproduct of this competition for mates (Jones, 2006).
The evolutionary theory of sexual jealousy seeks to explain differences in jealousy between sexes from a biological/evolutionary standpoint. Responses difference in men and women because the two sexes have different needs in order to maintain fitness. For women, when a man is unfaithful in a relationship it is the emotional infidelity that is cause for concern, while for men it is physical sexual infidelity (Harris 2004). According to David Buss, this difference comes from the way men and women’s brain circuits guide their emotional reactions (Buss 1995).
. The attachment theory says that how you are raised will lead to how trusting you are in your sexual relationships. For example, according to work done by Phillip Shaver of the University of California, people who were brought up with loving, caring, and emotionally stable parents were able to have successful future relationships and marriages consisting of little jealousy. On the other hand, people who grew up with parents who were detached and impersonal later had dismissive relationships, were afraid of attachment and commitment and were more likely to be overly protective and sense more threats to their relationship and thereby become jealous (Begley 2010). This process of “nurturing socialization” manifests itself at a very young age. A study performed by Sybil Hart found that the development, of jealousy occurs during infancy. This study showed that babies as young as six months of age exhibited negative facial expressions when they saw their mothers positively interacting with a baby doll (Hart 1998). This suggests that jealously is observed in all humans even at a very young age.
is concern over paternity confidence for existing and future offspring (Barett et al. 2002). The male partner invests paternal care (time, energy, affection, resources) in a female to ensure reproductive success, and in turn, he wants to invest parental care only in those offspring who are his own (Barett et al. 2002). While maternity is unmistakable, paternity is less certain when internal fertilization exists (Daly et al 1982) and there is concealed ovulation in females (Alexander and Noonan 1979, Strassmann 1981). Human females are unique in that ovulation is nearly impossible to detect. Women, therefore, may be receptive to fertilization at any point in their ovulatory cycle (Alexander and Noonan 1979). If paternal investment were unlikely, advertisement of ovulation would likely increase copulations at fertile points in her cycle, as well as increase the likelihood of securing a competitive male (Alexander and Noonan 1979, Strassmann 1981). Where paternal investment is likely, concealed ovulation might oblige males to commit to a consort relationship – thereby minimizing the risk of the males finding other mates, while also ensuring paternity confidence in the offspring (Alexander and Noonan 1979, Strassmann 1981). A study by Gaulin and Schlegel (1980) shows that in societies where paternity confidence is low, males are much less likely to invest in their partner’s offspring, and instead they will invest in their sister’s children- a genetic relationship that is guaranteed. Historically, human males have demanded assurances that offspring are genetically related before they invest in a child (Barett et al 2002). This is a common occurrence bridging most human cultures and societies. Barett et al (2002) argue that sexual jealousy is a demonstration of men’s desire to control the sexual behavior of women in order to guarantee paternity certainty- thereby ensuring they are investing in their own offspring.
Through history, the control of female sexual behavior has been manifested in many different ways. Barett et al (2002) describes these systems as “honor and shame systems” where the “honor and prestige of a lineage is premised on the chastity of its daughters”. The intensity of these cultural codes tend to increase with social status; this supports the assumption that higher ranking males tend to have a larger investment in the paternal care of their offspring (Dickeman 1979). These cultural practices are a collection of contexts where men control female chastity and fidelity, reduce female mate choice, and promote the institutional seclusion and incapacitation of women (Dickeman 1979). Dickeman (1979) illustrates specific examples of sexual control including: the insistence that women are virgins before marriage, “modest” dress restrictions under Islamic law, foot binding and chaperoning in public in ancient China, and cliterodectomy in Sub-Saharan Africa. Each of these cases represents a cultural framework constructed to control women’s exposure to other people, mobility, or sexual behavior - thereby helping ensure paternity certainty for husbands and potential fathers (Dickeman 1979).
In the Dogon culture
, in Mali, West Africa, males use the traditional religion (Animism
) as a tool to achieve male reproductive interests (Strassmann 1996). Specifically, Dogon men impose menstrual taboos
to ensure paternity certainty and reduce the risk of cuckoldry (Strassmann 1992,1996). Dogon women do not use contraception; therefore menstruation is a relatively rare event (Strassmann 1996). The timing of menstruation, therefore, becomes a reliable indicator for fecundity. During menstruation, women in the Dogon culture must spend nights in the menstrual hut. The design and location of the menstrual hut is such that the husband’s patrilineage can observe who is in the hut and who is not (Strassmann 1996). Women must advertise their menses- thereby providing information that will help husbands assess paternity certainty based on the timing of menstruation, copulation, and conception (Strassmann 1992, 1996). Using hormonal data, Strassmann’s research shows that these menstrual taboos were effective in signaling the honest reproductive status of Dogon women; women went to the menstrual hut in 86% of menses, and never went to the hut while pregnant, in amenorrhea, or cycling (Strassmann 1996).
Since paternity is not guaranteed, males do not only rely on female sexual fidelity, and timing of conception- but phenotypic resemblance can also support or undermine paternity certainty (Daly and Wilson 1982). After a child is born, females are inclined to assure confidence in paternity through comments about the likeness of the child to the father (Daly and Wilson 1982, Regalski and Gaulin 1993). Daly and Wilson (1982) showed that in Canadian maternity wards, mothers are especially inclined to make comments about the physical similarities between the father and the infant more often than the similarities between the mother and the infant. Similar results have been found through a study in Mexico, where after a birth, paternal resemblance was more often alleged than maternal resemblance, and the mother is responsible for most of these comments (Regalski and Gaulin 1993). Paternal confidence is manipulable, and often mothers will attempt to strengthen the bond between a father and child by citing their relatedness and phenotypic similarities (Daly and Wilson 1982).
As a result, for females, emotional infidelity is significantly more vexing than sexual infidelity. In a study done to determine the behavioral differences between men and women in terms of jealousy, researchers found that women were most upset when they found out, or suspected that their mate had given a gift to another woman, closely followed by spending time with another woman, and spending time thinking about another woman (de Weerth, 1993, 271). These are considered the worst offenses because the man is giving away both the monetary resources, and the time that he could be using to support his child. By giving a gift to another woman, the man may not directly take much away from the fitness of his primary mate, but he perpetuates a threat that he may shift all of his resources to another woman, which would be dramatically detrimental to the fitness of his primary mate, as well as her child. In the same study, women also self-reported more overall jealousy in relationships than men did. This is likely due to the parental investment costs that females incur – females have more to lose with an unfaithful spouse (de Weerth, 1993, 266-268).
One major factor in the shifting role of sexual jealousy between men and women is the widespread presence of contraception
in the western world. If there is no risk that a long term mate is getting pregnant, the male no longer needs to worry about who will father his child. The woman, however, frequently still relies on the male for resources. Even if she does not have a child, society, to some degree, still dictates that a man must support his wife financially. Females on birth control must still be wary of the other women her husband is seeing for fear that he will abandon her, and she will not be able to support herself, or have children at all. This is not as much of a concern for men (Geary et al, 2001, 300).
reported a higher coefficient of jealousy than women with higher self-esteem (Khanchandani et al, 2009).
There are some conflicting theories on who becomes the target of female sexual jealousy. One theory suggests that women are generally more inclined to feel Empathy
, so they empathize with “the other woman,” and target all of their aggression and anger at the unfaithful male (de Weerth 1993, 274). On the other hand, however, one study has suggested that because in a sexual relationship females are the discriminating one (the one choosing the mate), the female lends herself as a primary target for sexual jealousy. Therefore, a woman will preferentially direct her jealousy toward her rival female, even though it is her husband who is the unfaithful one. As a result, when a woman is around a suspected rival female, she is more likely than a male counterpart to announce that her companion is “taken,” and go out of her way to enhance her appearance to her spouse (Schutzwohl, 2008, 98).
In that same vein, Gregory White found that women are more likely to attempt to induce jealousy in their partner for some type of gain. Women who considered themselves to be in “low-power” positions in their relationships reported inducing jealousy in hopes that their partner would spend more time with them, or pay more attention to them (White, 1980). White believes that the inducement of jealousy is a manipulation of power on the female’s part, using the partner’s jealousy to gain influence in the relationship (White 1980).
Jealousy
Jealousy is a second emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, particularly in reference to a human connection. Jealousy often consists of a combination of presenting emotions...
differ across cultures. For example, in one culture, an “involved” woman flirting with, dancing with or kissing another man may be considered infidelity
Infidelity
In many intimate relationships in many cultures there is usually an express or implied expectation of exclusivity, especially in sexual matters. Infidelity most commonly refers to a breach of the expectation of sexual exclusivity.Infidelity can occur in relation to physical intimacy and/or...
, whereas in another culture such behavior would be considered innocent fun (Buunk and Hupka 1987).
Emotion theorists have attempted to explain the jealous response with a social-cognitive model
Social cognition
Social cognition is the encoding, storage, retrieval, and processing, in the brain, of information relating to conspecifics, or members of the same species. At one time social cognition referred specifically to an approach to social psychology in which these processes were studied according to the...
that distinguishes between primary and secondary appraisals
Appraisal theory
Appraisal theory is the idea that emotions are extracted from our evaluations of events that cause specific reactions in different people. Essentially, our appraisal of a situation causes an emotional, or affective, response that is going to be based on that appraisal. An example of this is going...
of potentially threatening situations. A primary appraisal is whether a person judges an interaction as positive, negative, or of no consequence to him or herself. Secondary appraisals come later if the primary appraisal is negative and the person is trying to gauge the severity of the interaction in regards to if and how it will affect their current relationship and subsequently how they will deal with it (Harris 2004). Primary appraisals can be manifested from simple actions between a significant other and someone who is seen as a threat. These appraisals will produce a reaction in humans and non-humans alike to prevent the occurrence of positive interactions between a mate and other rival partners (Harris 2004).
Evidence from the other great Apes suggests that jealousy is a mate protection strategy designed to maintain low levels of female promiscuity
Promiscuity
In humans, promiscuity refers to less discriminating casual sex with many sexual partners. The term carries a moral or religious judgement and is viewed in the context of the mainstream social ideal for sexual activity to take place within exclusive committed relationships...
. A single Silverback Gorilla can protect up to eight females as his own, and is thus able to gain a reproductive monopoly. As a result, gorillas do not have a great deal of sperm competition
Sperm competition
Sperm competition is a term used to refer to the competitive process between spermatozoa of two different males to fertilize an egg of a lone female. Competition occurs whenever females engage in promiscuous mating to increase their chances in producing more viable offspring...
, and therefore have very small testes relative to stature. Humans on the other hand, have slightly larger testes relative to stature, but still have small testes compared to other apes. This suggests that humans have somewhat more sperm competition, and therefore have more reason to be suspicious of a mate’s interest in another. Jealousy likely evolved as a byproduct of this competition for mates (Jones, 2006).
The evolutionary theory of sexual jealousy seeks to explain differences in jealousy between sexes from a biological/evolutionary standpoint. Responses difference in men and women because the two sexes have different needs in order to maintain fitness. For women, when a man is unfaithful in a relationship it is the emotional infidelity that is cause for concern, while for men it is physical sexual infidelity (Harris 2004). According to David Buss, this difference comes from the way men and women’s brain circuits guide their emotional reactions (Buss 1995).
Attachment Theory
Another theory used to explain the existence of sexual jealousy is the attachment theoryAttachment theory
Attachment theory describes the dynamics of long-term relationships between humans. Its most important tenet is that an infant needs to develop a relationship with at least one primary caregiver for social and emotional development to occur normally. Attachment theory is an interdisciplinary study...
. The attachment theory says that how you are raised will lead to how trusting you are in your sexual relationships. For example, according to work done by Phillip Shaver of the University of California, people who were brought up with loving, caring, and emotionally stable parents were able to have successful future relationships and marriages consisting of little jealousy. On the other hand, people who grew up with parents who were detached and impersonal later had dismissive relationships, were afraid of attachment and commitment and were more likely to be overly protective and sense more threats to their relationship and thereby become jealous (Begley 2010). This process of “nurturing socialization” manifests itself at a very young age. A study performed by Sybil Hart found that the development, of jealousy occurs during infancy. This study showed that babies as young as six months of age exhibited negative facial expressions when they saw their mothers positively interacting with a baby doll (Hart 1998). This suggests that jealously is observed in all humans even at a very young age.
Sexual jealousy and paternity uncertainty
The consensus among biologists regarding the reason for male sexual jealousyJealousy
Jealousy is a second emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, particularly in reference to a human connection. Jealousy often consists of a combination of presenting emotions...
is concern over paternity confidence for existing and future offspring (Barett et al. 2002). The male partner invests paternal care (time, energy, affection, resources) in a female to ensure reproductive success, and in turn, he wants to invest parental care only in those offspring who are his own (Barett et al. 2002). While maternity is unmistakable, paternity is less certain when internal fertilization exists (Daly et al 1982) and there is concealed ovulation in females (Alexander and Noonan 1979, Strassmann 1981). Human females are unique in that ovulation is nearly impossible to detect. Women, therefore, may be receptive to fertilization at any point in their ovulatory cycle (Alexander and Noonan 1979). If paternal investment were unlikely, advertisement of ovulation would likely increase copulations at fertile points in her cycle, as well as increase the likelihood of securing a competitive male (Alexander and Noonan 1979, Strassmann 1981). Where paternal investment is likely, concealed ovulation might oblige males to commit to a consort relationship – thereby minimizing the risk of the males finding other mates, while also ensuring paternity confidence in the offspring (Alexander and Noonan 1979, Strassmann 1981). A study by Gaulin and Schlegel (1980) shows that in societies where paternity confidence is low, males are much less likely to invest in their partner’s offspring, and instead they will invest in their sister’s children- a genetic relationship that is guaranteed. Historically, human males have demanded assurances that offspring are genetically related before they invest in a child (Barett et al 2002). This is a common occurrence bridging most human cultures and societies. Barett et al (2002) argue that sexual jealousy is a demonstration of men’s desire to control the sexual behavior of women in order to guarantee paternity certainty- thereby ensuring they are investing in their own offspring.
Through history, the control of female sexual behavior has been manifested in many different ways. Barett et al (2002) describes these systems as “honor and shame systems” where the “honor and prestige of a lineage is premised on the chastity of its daughters”. The intensity of these cultural codes tend to increase with social status; this supports the assumption that higher ranking males tend to have a larger investment in the paternal care of their offspring (Dickeman 1979). These cultural practices are a collection of contexts where men control female chastity and fidelity, reduce female mate choice, and promote the institutional seclusion and incapacitation of women (Dickeman 1979). Dickeman (1979) illustrates specific examples of sexual control including: the insistence that women are virgins before marriage, “modest” dress restrictions under Islamic law, foot binding and chaperoning in public in ancient China, and cliterodectomy in Sub-Saharan Africa. Each of these cases represents a cultural framework constructed to control women’s exposure to other people, mobility, or sexual behavior - thereby helping ensure paternity certainty for husbands and potential fathers (Dickeman 1979).
In the Dogon culture
Dogon people
The Dogon are an ethnic group living in the central plateau region of Mali, south of the Niger bend near the city of Bandiagara in the Mopti region. The population numbers between 400,000 and 800,000 The Dogon are best known for their religious traditions, their mask dances, wooden sculpture and...
, in Mali, West Africa, males use the traditional religion (Animism
Animism
Animism refers to the belief that non-human entities are spiritual beings, or at least embody some kind of life-principle....
) as a tool to achieve male reproductive interests (Strassmann 1996). Specifically, Dogon men impose menstrual taboos
Menstrual taboo
A Menstrual taboo is any social taboo concerned with menstruation. In some societies it involves menstruation being perceived as unclean or embarrassing, extending even to the mention of menstruation both in public and in private .Different cultures view menstruation differently...
to ensure paternity certainty and reduce the risk of cuckoldry (Strassmann 1992,1996). Dogon women do not use contraception; therefore menstruation is a relatively rare event (Strassmann 1996). The timing of menstruation, therefore, becomes a reliable indicator for fecundity. During menstruation, women in the Dogon culture must spend nights in the menstrual hut. The design and location of the menstrual hut is such that the husband’s patrilineage can observe who is in the hut and who is not (Strassmann 1996). Women must advertise their menses- thereby providing information that will help husbands assess paternity certainty based on the timing of menstruation, copulation, and conception (Strassmann 1992, 1996). Using hormonal data, Strassmann’s research shows that these menstrual taboos were effective in signaling the honest reproductive status of Dogon women; women went to the menstrual hut in 86% of menses, and never went to the hut while pregnant, in amenorrhea, or cycling (Strassmann 1996).
Since paternity is not guaranteed, males do not only rely on female sexual fidelity, and timing of conception- but phenotypic resemblance can also support or undermine paternity certainty (Daly and Wilson 1982). After a child is born, females are inclined to assure confidence in paternity through comments about the likeness of the child to the father (Daly and Wilson 1982, Regalski and Gaulin 1993). Daly and Wilson (1982) showed that in Canadian maternity wards, mothers are especially inclined to make comments about the physical similarities between the father and the infant more often than the similarities between the mother and the infant. Similar results have been found through a study in Mexico, where after a birth, paternal resemblance was more often alleged than maternal resemblance, and the mother is responsible for most of these comments (Regalski and Gaulin 1993). Paternal confidence is manipulable, and often mothers will attempt to strengthen the bond between a father and child by citing their relatedness and phenotypic similarities (Daly and Wilson 1982).
Female Sexual Jealousy and Parental Investment
After choosing a mate, females bear the brunt of child production. Not only does the woman have to produce and carry the baby, in western society she remains responsible for raising him or her. Because offspring are at such a high cost for the female, the male’s resource contribution could mean life or death for her and her child, weighing significantly on her fitness potential (Schutzwohl, 2008, 93). If a woman knows or suspects that her husband is being unfaithful, she will be more concerned that he is sharing his resources with another female, rather than making another baby (Schutzwohl, 2008, 93).As a result, for females, emotional infidelity is significantly more vexing than sexual infidelity. In a study done to determine the behavioral differences between men and women in terms of jealousy, researchers found that women were most upset when they found out, or suspected that their mate had given a gift to another woman, closely followed by spending time with another woman, and spending time thinking about another woman (de Weerth, 1993, 271). These are considered the worst offenses because the man is giving away both the monetary resources, and the time that he could be using to support his child. By giving a gift to another woman, the man may not directly take much away from the fitness of his primary mate, but he perpetuates a threat that he may shift all of his resources to another woman, which would be dramatically detrimental to the fitness of his primary mate, as well as her child. In the same study, women also self-reported more overall jealousy in relationships than men did. This is likely due to the parental investment costs that females incur – females have more to lose with an unfaithful spouse (de Weerth, 1993, 266-268).
One major factor in the shifting role of sexual jealousy between men and women is the widespread presence of contraception
Birth control
Birth control is an umbrella term for several techniques and methods used to prevent fertilization or to interrupt pregnancy at various stages. Birth control techniques and methods include contraception , contragestion and abortion...
in the western world. If there is no risk that a long term mate is getting pregnant, the male no longer needs to worry about who will father his child. The woman, however, frequently still relies on the male for resources. Even if she does not have a child, society, to some degree, still dictates that a man must support his wife financially. Females on birth control must still be wary of the other women her husband is seeing for fear that he will abandon her, and she will not be able to support herself, or have children at all. This is not as much of a concern for men (Geary et al, 2001, 300).
Jealousy as a Function of Self Esteem
Bram Buunke’s research on the correlations between sexual jealousy, self-esteem and past participation in extramarital affairs found that women who are less sure of themselves experience or anticipate more jealousy, unless they have participated in extramarital affairs themselves. If a woman has had an extramarital affair, it is likely that she is more aware of the loss-risk, and is therefore less jealous when her partner is unfaithful. Meanwhile, women who experience low self-esteem are much more afraid that their partner is dissatisfied and being unfaithful (Buunke, 1982). These findings are supported by Khanchandani’s research on the effects of situational and personality variables on jealousy in college-aged women. She found that jealousy was significantly higher in women who tested for lower self-esteem on the Rosenberg Self-Description ScaleRosenberg self esteem scale
The Rosenberg self-esteem scale , developed by Dr. Morris Rosenberg, is a self-esteem measure widely used in social-science research.The RSES is designed similar to social-survey questionnaires. It is a ten-item Likert-type scale with items answered on a four-point scale — from strongly agree...
reported a higher coefficient of jealousy than women with higher self-esteem (Khanchandani et al, 2009).
Aggression, Targets and Induced Jealousy in Females
Contrary to statistics on spousal abuse in which men are the abusers (de Weerth, 1993, 274), women are more likely to report that their hypothetical sexual jealousy would manifest itself as anger and physical aggression. While both sexes reported experiencing sexual jealousy in relationships, as well as an interest in discussing the reasons for the infidelity, significantly more surveyed females claimed that they would cry, and then act aggressively toward their unfaithful spouse. Women also claimed that they would feign indifference as well as attempt to make themselves more physically attractive to their mate (de Weerth, 1993, 272).There are some conflicting theories on who becomes the target of female sexual jealousy. One theory suggests that women are generally more inclined to feel Empathy
Empathy
Empathy is the capacity to recognize and, to some extent, share feelings that are being experienced by another sapient or semi-sapient being. Someone may need to have a certain amount of empathy before they are able to feel compassion. The English word was coined in 1909 by E.B...
, so they empathize with “the other woman,” and target all of their aggression and anger at the unfaithful male (de Weerth 1993, 274). On the other hand, however, one study has suggested that because in a sexual relationship females are the discriminating one (the one choosing the mate), the female lends herself as a primary target for sexual jealousy. Therefore, a woman will preferentially direct her jealousy toward her rival female, even though it is her husband who is the unfaithful one. As a result, when a woman is around a suspected rival female, she is more likely than a male counterpart to announce that her companion is “taken,” and go out of her way to enhance her appearance to her spouse (Schutzwohl, 2008, 98).
In that same vein, Gregory White found that women are more likely to attempt to induce jealousy in their partner for some type of gain. Women who considered themselves to be in “low-power” positions in their relationships reported inducing jealousy in hopes that their partner would spend more time with them, or pay more attention to them (White, 1980). White believes that the inducement of jealousy is a manipulation of power on the female’s part, using the partner’s jealousy to gain influence in the relationship (White 1980).