Sexless marriage - AbsoluteAstronomy.com

A sexless marriage is a marriage in which little or no sex occurs between the two partners. The US National Health and Social Life Survey in 1994 (Laumann et al. 1994) found that 2 percent of the married respondents reported no sexual intimacy in the past year. The definition of a nonsexual marriage is often broadened to include those where sexual intimacy occurs less than ten times per year, in which case 20 percent of the couples in the National Health and Social Life Survey would be in the category. Newsweek magazine estimates that 15 to 20 percent of couples are in a sexless relationship. Dr. Phil calls sexless marriages "an undeniable epidemic" and he notes that "loss of sexual desire can severely affect a marriage". . Studies show that 10% or less of the married population below age 50 have not had sex in the past year. In addition only 20% or less report having sex a few times per year to monthly under age 40..

Causes

Sexless marriages can develop over time from a range of possible causes. According to psychotherapist Tina Tessina, "the most common causes of sexless marriages" are that "one partner had their feelings hurt or got turned down too many times, one got too busy or neglectful, or one or both partners has a communication problem of some sort". Clinical sexologist Judith Steinhart notes that "Problems in a marriage [like] lack of trust, anxiety, financial issues, misunderstandings, pressure from children, all can impact a couple's sexual patterns."

Some couples may have sexless marriages because they have different work schedules or busy lives. For couples with children, especially young children, the demands of childbearing and childrearing can lead to stress and exhaustion. British author Carrie Jones, who says she has a sexless marriage, "asserts that motherhood and sex are intrinsically incompatible". Fatigue or exhaustion can also arise from other causes, such as chronic fatigue syndrome.

Adultery

Adultery

Adultery is sexual infidelity to one's spouse, and is a form of extramarital sex. It originally referred only to sex between a woman who was married and a person other than her spouse. Even in cases of separation from one's spouse, an extramarital affair is still considered adultery.Adultery is...

can lead to a sexless marriage in two ways: it can cause the partner having the affair to have reduced sexual interest in their spouse, and if the affair is discovered, the "innocent" spouse may cease to want to be intimate with the cheating spouse. Sexual addiction

Sexual addiction

Sexual addiction is a popular model to explain hypersexuality—sexual urges, behaviors, or thoughts that appear extreme in frequency or feel out of one's control...

or pornography addiction

Pornography addiction

Pornography addiction, or more broadly overuse of pornography, is excessive pornography use that interferes with daily life.There is no diagnosis of pornography addiction in the current Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders , and as with the broader proposed diagnosis of sexual...

can cause the addicted partner to lose interest in sex with their regular partner. Sexual aversion or "a low level of sexual desire" including a lack of sexual vitality due to age, past trauma, partners' incompatible sexual orientation

Sexual orientation

Sexual orientation describes a pattern of emotional, romantic, or sexual attractions to the opposite sex, the same sex, both, or neither, and the genders that accompany them. By the convention of organized researchers, these attractions are subsumed under heterosexuality, homosexuality,...

or, simply, one of the spouses losing sexual interest in the regular companion.

Sexual dysfunction

Sexual dysfunction or sexual malfunction refers to a difficulty experienced by an individual or a couple during any stage of a normal sexual activity, including desire, arousal or orgasm....

or difficulty during any stage of the sexual act, including severe vaginismus

Vaginismus

Vaginismus, sometimes anglicized vaginism, is the German name for a condition which affects a woman's ability to engage in any form of vaginal penetration, including sexual intercourse, insertion of tampons and/or menstrual cups, and the penetration involved in gynecological examinations...

or erectile dysfunction

Erectile dysfunction

Erectile dysfunction is sexual dysfunction characterized by the inability to develop or maintain an erection of the penis during sexual performance....

. Lack of sensation, desire or ability to achieve orgasm resulting as side effects from medication or illegal drugs. Some antidepressant drugs such as SSRIs can cause difficulty with achieving orgasm. Sexless marriages can be caused by post-pregnancy issues and hormonal imbalances which can be temporary or permanent in nature or by illness

Illness

Illness is a state of poor health. Illness is sometimes considered another word for disease. Others maintain that fine distinctions exist...

of one or both partners that affects physical or psychological sexuality (e.g., clinical depression of one or both partners).

A marriage may also be sexless if one or both partners are asexual

Asexuality

Asexuality , in its broadest sense, is the lack of sexual attraction and, in some cases, the lack of interest in sex. Sometimes, it is considered a lack of a sexual orientation...

or if the couple mutually agrees to abstain from sex due to religious principles, avoidance of sexually transmitted disease

Sexually transmitted disease

Sexually transmitted disease , also known as a sexually transmitted infection or venereal disease , is an illness that has a significant probability of transmission between humans by means of human sexual behavior, including vaginal intercourse, oral sex, and anal sex...

s, a platonic basis for the relationship or the goal of avoiding conception. Other reasons for sexless marriages are resentment in the relationship due to an actual or perceived imbalance of duties, responsibilities (moral, spiritual and religious); incompatible ideal, spiritual, moral and behavioral aspects; or a power imbalance in which one partner refuses to have sex with their spouse for personal reasons, such as to gain/maintain psychological control. As well, there may be combinations of the above. Sexual desire, for example, can be closely tied to sexual difficulties.

Some couples may be married solely for legal purposes or tax benefits, i.e. what is colloquially called a marriage of convenience

Marriage of convenience

A marriage of convenience is a marriage contracted for reasons other than the reasons of relationship, family, or love. Instead, such a marriage is orchestrated for personal gain or some other sort of strategic purpose, such as political marriage. The phrase is a calque of - a marriage of...

. For example, in the US a spouse is entitled to Green Card if married to an American citizen or a permanent resident. Another reason for a "marriage of convenience" is the lavender marriage

Lavender marriage

Lavender marriage is a type of male-female marriage of convenience in which the couple are not both heterosexual and conceal the homosexual or bisexual orientation of one or both spouses...

, which conceals the homosexual or bisexual orientation of one or both spouses.

Causes

See also

Further reading