Secrets Every Smart Traveler Should Know
Encyclopedia
Secrets Every Smart Traveler Should Know was a musical comedy revue
which opened off Broadway in 1997. It was based on Wendy Perrin's travel book. It depicted the woes of a group of travellers on their worldwide journeys, intercepted by short sketches based around amusing airport announcements, travel company phonelines and announcements by the 'pilot'.
The show's European premiere was in Cambridge, England, at the Playroom at Cambridge Arts Theatre
, presented by the Cambridge University Musical Theatre Society.
on October 30, 1997. The original cast included James Darrah, Kathy Fitzgerald, Stan Freeman
, Jay Leonhart
, Liz McConahay and Michael McGrath
. In 1998 the show transferred from the Triad Theater to the Ibis Supper Club where it remained until the end of its run. In all it ran for 953 performances before its closing in February 2000.
A distraught Business Traveler (JAMES) appears to be naked except for undershorts, or a towel around his waist. In "Naked in Pittsburgh" he laments the state and whereabouts of his luggage.
Next we see a hip and happy Traveler (MICHAEL) on the phone with an automated reservationist (KATHY). The reservationist guides an increasingly frustrated Traveler through options and automated loops until finally the weary Traveler's time limit expires and he is disconnected.
In "Star Search", an excited passenger (LIZ) sings about the riveting talent in the cruise ship talent show.
Then JAY details the unusual items he's managed to pick up from his travels. In "Customs", he can't understand why officials are giving him such a hard time.
A Car-Renter (MICHAEL) laments his exorbitant car rental bill with a sexy Hertz Reservations Clerk (LIZ) in "Hertz".
A tourist (KATHY) in "Acapulco" sings about the stunning and handsome souvenirs she brought back from her vacation.
Then, in the high style of a Noel Coward play, Amanda (LIZ) and Elyot (JAMES), two ex-spouses, are horrified to find out that they share adjoining balconies with each other on their current honeymoons. As a faint piano plays strains of "Someday I'll Find You", Amanda and Elyot reminisce about the past and talk of their current loves.
Next, MICHAEL and KATHY are dressed to resemble the husband and wife in the Grant Wood painting, American Gothic. They sing about the joys and challenges of "Seeing America First."
JAMES tries to remember what he left behind in "What Did I Forget?"
In "Reservations: Part 2" our hip and anxious traveler (MICHAEL) tries another go with the automated reservationist (KATHY). He ends up holding for the next available operator.
A French Chanteuse (LIZ) sings about her lover and his little idiosyncrasies in "The French Song" while (KATHY) translates.
An elegant Gambler (MICHAEL), a loud housewife (KATHY), a kid with a lollipop (LIZ), and an old man with a cane(JAMES) sing about their favorite part of cruise-ship life in "Buffet".
Then we see MICHAEL asleep near the phone as Canned Music
plays in the background. The automated receptionist asks him to continue to hold and asserts that his call is important.
A sad and forlorn country and western girl (LIZ) sings an ode to "Mr. Trailways" and tells of her illicit love gone wrong in "Please Mr. Trailways."
Carmen Miranda (KATHY) and two jungle-outfitted men sing about their tropical island and it's pressing problem in "Red Hot Lava".
STAN sings about the love he feels for his special island, Uzbekistan
in "Paradise Found".
A tourist (LIZ) has a run-in with a fierce-looking Border Guard on her first vacation in years.
In "Me and Margarita" JAY laments the unhappy situation of bringing back more than he gastronomically bargained for on his nine-day eating and drinking spree in Mexico.
After a brief message from the captain of an Air India flight, a member of the CAST sets a candelabra
on the piano. The rest of the CAST follow her and gather around the piano to sing "Salzburg"; a bright number extoling the virtues and vices of Mozart and his festival in Salzburg
.
MICHAEL awakes as Sharon (KATHY), a real, live operator finally answers the phone. Sharon (KATHY) flirts with MICHAEL as she suggestively takes his details for his flight to Nome, Alaska
. She has almost completed the reservation when she begins to repeat herself over and over and MICHAEL is unsure of whether she was a real person or not.
JAMES sings about the joys of flying in "Aging Planes".
A shy and unassuming man with a lisp
(MICHAEL) sings about his perfect match; a woman he met on his vacation to Spain in "She Spoke Spanish".
LIZ gives us another travel secret. This one is about finding the best travel agent. Then three savvy, high-powered travel agents (JAMES, MICHAEL, and KATHY) all compete for the best deals for their customers in "Honey, Sweetie, Baby".
The CAST reminds us of the importance to "See it Now" (Reprise) before the wonders of the world disappear.
As the CAST finishes their bows they sing about their favorite place toward which to travel, "Home".
Act Two
Revue
A revue is a type of multi-act popular theatrical entertainment that combines music, dance and sketches. The revue has its roots in 19th century American popular entertainment and melodrama but grew into a substantial cultural presence of its own during its golden years from 1916 to 1932...
which opened off Broadway in 1997. It was based on Wendy Perrin's travel book. It depicted the woes of a group of travellers on their worldwide journeys, intercepted by short sketches based around amusing airport announcements, travel company phonelines and announcements by the 'pilot'.
The show's European premiere was in Cambridge, England, at the Playroom at Cambridge Arts Theatre
Cambridge Arts Theatre
Cambridge Arts Theatre is a 666-seat theatre on Peas Hill in central Cambridge, England. The theatre presents a varied mix of drama, dance, opera and pantomime. It attracts some of the highest-quality touring productions in the country, as well as many shows direct from, or prior to, seasons in the...
, presented by the Cambridge University Musical Theatre Society.
Original Off-Broadway Production
Secrets Every Smart Traveler Should Know originally opened Off-Broadway at the Triad TheaterTriad Theater
The Triad Theatre, formerly known as Palsson's Supper Club and Steve McGraw's, is located on West 72nd Street on New York's Upper West Side...
on October 30, 1997. The original cast included James Darrah, Kathy Fitzgerald, Stan Freeman
Stan Freeman
Stanley Freeman was an American composer, lyricist, musical arranger, conductor, and studio musician.-Biography:...
, Jay Leonhart
Jay Leonhart
Jay Leonhart is a noted bassist and songwriter working in jazz and popular music. He has performed with diverse artists including Judy Garland, Carly Simon, Bucky Pizzarelli, Sting, and Frank Sinatra...
, Liz McConahay and Michael McGrath
Michael McGrath (actor)
Michael McGrath is an American stage actor. He is best known for his role as Patsy in Spamalot, for which he received a nomination for a Tony Award for Best Featured Actor in a Musical. He has been an ensemble member and understudy for many shows, including My Favorite Year, Swinging on a Star and...
. In 1998 the show transferred from the Triad Theater to the Ibis Supper Club where it remained until the end of its run. In all it ran for 953 performances before its closing in February 2000.
Act One
Flight Attendant (LIZ) announces the beginning of the show and instructs the audience to "fasten our seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy night." The CAST sings "I've Got A Secret" introducing us to the perils of travel and some savvy tips to avoid the pitfalls.A distraught Business Traveler (JAMES) appears to be naked except for undershorts, or a towel around his waist. In "Naked in Pittsburgh" he laments the state and whereabouts of his luggage.
Next we see a hip and happy Traveler (MICHAEL) on the phone with an automated reservationist (KATHY). The reservationist guides an increasingly frustrated Traveler through options and automated loops until finally the weary Traveler's time limit expires and he is disconnected.
In "Star Search", an excited passenger (LIZ) sings about the riveting talent in the cruise ship talent show.
Then JAY details the unusual items he's managed to pick up from his travels. In "Customs", he can't understand why officials are giving him such a hard time.
A Car-Renter (MICHAEL) laments his exorbitant car rental bill with a sexy Hertz Reservations Clerk (LIZ) in "Hertz".
A tourist (KATHY) in "Acapulco" sings about the stunning and handsome souvenirs she brought back from her vacation.
Then, in the high style of a Noel Coward play, Amanda (LIZ) and Elyot (JAMES), two ex-spouses, are horrified to find out that they share adjoining balconies with each other on their current honeymoons. As a faint piano plays strains of "Someday I'll Find You", Amanda and Elyot reminisce about the past and talk of their current loves.
Next, MICHAEL and KATHY are dressed to resemble the husband and wife in the Grant Wood painting, American Gothic. They sing about the joys and challenges of "Seeing America First."
JAMES tries to remember what he left behind in "What Did I Forget?"
In "Reservations: Part 2" our hip and anxious traveler (MICHAEL) tries another go with the automated reservationist (KATHY). He ends up holding for the next available operator.
A French Chanteuse (LIZ) sings about her lover and his little idiosyncrasies in "The French Song" while (KATHY) translates.
An elegant Gambler (MICHAEL), a loud housewife (KATHY), a kid with a lollipop (LIZ), and an old man with a cane(JAMES) sing about their favorite part of cruise-ship life in "Buffet".
Act Two
The CAST encourages the audience to see the wonders of the world before it all comes crumbling down in "See It Now."Then we see MICHAEL asleep near the phone as Canned Music
Elevator music
Elevator music refers to instrumental arrangements of popular music designed for playing in shopping malls, grocery stores, department stores, telephone systems , cruise ships, airports, doctors' and dentists' offices, and elevators...
plays in the background. The automated receptionist asks him to continue to hold and asserts that his call is important.
A sad and forlorn country and western girl (LIZ) sings an ode to "Mr. Trailways" and tells of her illicit love gone wrong in "Please Mr. Trailways."
Carmen Miranda (KATHY) and two jungle-outfitted men sing about their tropical island and it's pressing problem in "Red Hot Lava".
STAN sings about the love he feels for his special island, Uzbekistan
Uzbekistan
Uzbekistan , officially the Republic of Uzbekistan is a doubly landlocked country in Central Asia and one of the six independent Turkic states. It shares borders with Kazakhstan to the west and to the north, Kyrgyzstan and Tajikistan to the east, and Afghanistan and Turkmenistan to the south....
in "Paradise Found".
A tourist (LIZ) has a run-in with a fierce-looking Border Guard on her first vacation in years.
In "Me and Margarita" JAY laments the unhappy situation of bringing back more than he gastronomically bargained for on his nine-day eating and drinking spree in Mexico.
After a brief message from the captain of an Air India flight, a member of the CAST sets a candelabra
Candelabra
"Candelabra" is the traditional term for a set of multiple decorative candlesticks, each of which often holds a candle on each of multiple arms or branches connected to a column or pedestal...
on the piano. The rest of the CAST follow her and gather around the piano to sing "Salzburg"; a bright number extoling the virtues and vices of Mozart and his festival in Salzburg
Salzburg
-Population development:In 1935, the population significantly increased when Salzburg absorbed adjacent municipalities. After World War II, numerous refugees found a new home in the city. New residential space was created for American soldiers of the postwar Occupation, and could be used for...
.
MICHAEL awakes as Sharon (KATHY), a real, live operator finally answers the phone. Sharon (KATHY) flirts with MICHAEL as she suggestively takes his details for his flight to Nome, Alaska
Nome, Alaska
Nome is a city in the Nome Census Area in the Unorganized Borough of the U.S. state of Alaska, located on the southern Seward Peninsula coast on Norton Sound of the Bering Sea. According to the 2010 Census, the city population was 3,598. Nome was incorporated on April 9, 1901, and was once the...
. She has almost completed the reservation when she begins to repeat herself over and over and MICHAEL is unsure of whether she was a real person or not.
JAMES sings about the joys of flying in "Aging Planes".
A shy and unassuming man with a lisp
Lisp
A lisp is a speech impediment, historically also known as sigmatism. Stereotypically, people with a lisp are unable to pronounce sibilants , and replace them with interdentals , though there are actually several kinds of lisp...
(MICHAEL) sings about his perfect match; a woman he met on his vacation to Spain in "She Spoke Spanish".
LIZ gives us another travel secret. This one is about finding the best travel agent. Then three savvy, high-powered travel agents (JAMES, MICHAEL, and KATHY) all compete for the best deals for their customers in "Honey, Sweetie, Baby".
The CAST reminds us of the importance to "See it Now" (Reprise) before the wonders of the world disappear.
As the CAST finishes their bows they sing about their favorite place toward which to travel, "Home".
Song List
Act One- Secrets Every Smart Traveler Should Know
- Travel Secret #1
- Naked In Pittsburgh
- Reservations #1
- Star Search
- Customs
- Hertz
- This Is Your Captain Speaking #1
- Acapulco
- Private Wives
- Seeing America First
- What Did I Forget?
- Reservations #2
- The French Song
- Buffet
Act Two
- See It Now
- Reservations #3
- This Is Your Captain Speaking #2
- Please, Mr. Trailways, Take Me Away
- This Is Your Captain Speaking #3
- Red Hot Lava
- Travel Secret #109
- Paradise
- Border Guard
- Me And Margherita
- This Is Your Captain Speaking #4
- Salzburg
- Reservations #4
- Aging Planes
- She Spoke Spanish
- Honey, Sweetie, Baby
- This Is Your Captain Speaking #5
- See It Now
- Home