written by Todd Phillips
and Scot Armstrong
and directed by Todd Phillips.
The movie begins with Barry (Tom Green
) giving a tour of the University of Ithaca (based on Ithaca College
) to some prospective students. The students seem uninterested until Barry starts telling the story of Josh Parker (Breckin Meyer
) and Tiffany Henderson (Rachel Blanchard
) who were long-time friends and high-school sweethearts. They had both had to face a long-distance relationship when Josh enrolled at the University of Ithaca and Tiffany enrolled at the University of Austin (based on the University of Texas).
[attempts to convince the snake to eat a mouse] Unleash the fury!
[singing] Tiny salmon swimming in a stream / Tiny salmon chasing that impossible dream / The mynah bird says, "Caw. Ca-Caw" / The chimpanzee says, "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" / The friendly owl says, "Hoo, hoo-hoo" / But the salmon can only say, "Bloobloobloobloo. Blooboloobloobloo. Blooboloobolooooo-Blooblooo-Bloobloobloo." / And it's sad.
Austin? Austin, Massachusetts?
You're already cheating! Anytime you pass up sex, you're cheating on yourself. Think about it Josh, you're in college. The window of opportunity to drink and do drugs and take advantage of young girls is getting smaller by the day.
Yep. I'd give us about 20 minutes before our first ass-raping.
Did you kill a cheetah?
Hey, it's 10 feet. Bob Hope could jump this in his golf cart. See, watch, I can spit across it.
Did I say two fingers? Better make that three.
Barry, hit the lights. It's boner time!
Corky the Dog: Hey, Old man... I got the fuckin' munchies real bad... what about you?